CHAPTER 1
Preston turned one month old today. I marvelled at how much she looked like her father. I couldn’t have been more pleased. Trey tried to convince me she had a lot of me in her, but that generally was whenever she whined or cried.
She had inherited Trey’s sapphire blue eyes and had been blessed with his dimples. We'd recently discovered this because she was now smiling for us. Trey would absolutely not let her cry. It was heart-warming to see how he fussed over her when she became agitated or unhappy. I found it quite endearing and totally out of character for him.
I had finally become a natural at breast-feeding; I loved the connection and bond that it provided. Her pediatrician said that she was thriving and instructed me to continue doing what I was doing.
Susan and Clive had come to Atlanta after I was released from the hospital. Clive had stayed for a few days; Susan had stayed for two weeks, not allowing me to lift a finger at all. She cooked and cleaned; did laundry, basically giving Mrs. Harris nothing to do on her days at our apartment. Susan rocked Preston when I wasn’t. She had purchased Preston a full wardrobe that looked like it would accommodate her for the next couple of years. She bought sweaters, rompers, onesies and nightgowns. We had both ‘oohed’ and ‘ahhed’ as we laid out the various ensembles across the living room sofa. Trey had rolled his eyes upon coming home from work seeing all of the clothing his mother had purchased.
“Mom,” he said, “It isn’t as if we haven’t bought things for the baby, already.”
“Hush, Trey Michael,” she'd scolded in her lovely southern accent.
“It's so much more fun picking out clothes for a baby girl, so please indulge me. Besides, boy or girl, this is my first grandbaby and I'll spoil her as much as I choose.”
Trey mumbled something about having to get a second job in order to keep Preston outfitted in the style to which her grandmother had gotten her accustomed. Susan and I exchanged amused smiles as he sauntered off to his study.
Gina had hosted a baby shower for me the week before I delivered. We were set on everything. Gina had decorated the nursery in very good taste. I had gone with mint green and pale yellow as the color scheme, and had selected the crib in dark mahogany, along with a matching dresser, changing table and rocker. The guest room had been transformed into a beautiful nursery. Trey had bought a large brown stuffed teddy bear with a light yellow bow tie the day he brought us home from the hospital. It was sitting in the corner of Preston’s crib, which hadn't been used yet.
We kept her in the beautiful white bassinet in our room, for now. Since I was breast-feeding, I needed to have her close to me. I had been reading articles about the ‘family bed’ and ‘sleep sharing’ since coming home from the hospital.
I discovered, through my research, that many pediatricians were staunch advocates of the practice. Studies had shown that babies, who had co-slept with their parents, grew to be more confident and independent because of the early nurturing it provided. I hadn’t approached Trey with the idea just yet.
I had a few more baby pounds to lose to get back to my normal weight. I was taking a Pilates class with Gina on Tuesday evenings, the night Trey was assigned night to watch Preston. I'd only been to one class so far; tonight would be my second class.
She was nestled in my arms while I watched "Ellen" on the television in our bedroom. She was being a lazy eater this afternoon, dozing off for a little while and starting back up when I'd nudge her. This was my favorite time of each day; I loved the feel and the smell of her. I'd never felt this kind of love before. It was a different kind of love than what I had for Trey. It had been so immediate and so strong from the beginning. It was so unconditional, this baby love.
I thought about my mother and wondered why she'd never felt that ‘baby love’ for me. I banished the thought of her from my mind. It was only painful and, for now, I wanted to enjoy this bonding with my daughter.
I looked down at her. She'd fallen back to sleep again. I kissed the top of her head and inhaled her sweet baby scent.
Ellen had that chick on her show from the Twilight saga movies, grilling her about her infidelities which had gone viral in the media. The poor girl kept twisting her hair and running her hands through it like she was uncomfortable having to talk without a script. My cell vibrated on the nightstand next to the bed. I scooted over to get it, trying to make sure I didn’t wake Preston. It was Trey.
“Hey,” I answered quietly.
“Hey, you,” he said in his smooth and silky voice. “Did I catch you at a bad time?”
“No, I’m just lying on the bed with Preston, watching television. How's your day going?”
“Well sweetie, I’m going to be a little late this evening. I wanted to let you know in case you had dinner planned. We have a partners’ meeting at six, so I probably won’t be home until close to seven, seven-thirty, is that going to screw anything up?”
“I have Pilates at eight o'clock with Gina, remember?”
“Shit, that’s right. What time does she pick you up?”
“About a quarter till eight."
“Okay baby. I'll do my best not to be any later than seven-thirty. I promise.”
“You better not be,” I warned. “You want me back in shape, don’t you?”
“I think you look great just the way you are, right now.”
“You’re just horny, Trey,” I laughed.
“Speaking of which,” he replied.
“I see Dr. Addison next week and he'll check me to make sure I’m healed before he gives you the green light.”
“Make sure he knows my balls are blue, will you?”
I giggled at this. He wasn't the martyr he was making himself out to be. “I’ve been taking care of you, Mr. Sinclair,” I replied, “Quite often, as a matter of fact.”
“I know baby, and I love what your mouth does for me but I miss…Hold on…"
Someone must've entered Trey’s office as he left the sentence hanging. I could hear a muffled conversation.
“Sorry, Tylar,” he said. “Tonya needed me to sign something. Where were we?”
“Something about blue balls?”
“Oh, yeah, and you're telling me they're likely to get bluer?”
“Honey, Dr. Addison initially said six weeks; it's only been four. He'll check my stitches when I go in next week and we'll take it from there.”
“Will Preston be able to start sleeping in her room by then?” he asked.
“Well, Trey, I sort of thought it might be best if she stayed in our room as long as I’m breastfeeding.”
“How long do you intend to breast feed?”
“I don’t know. I mean, some mothers breast feed until the child reaches two years of age.”
“You're not fucking serious, right?"
“Why don’t we discuss this later? I really need to get her into her bassinet and start dinner okay?”
“We'll definitely discuss this later,” he said, not hiding his irritation.
“So, dinner will be waiting when you get in this evening. I love you, Trey.”
“Love you, too.”
I could tell he wasn't gonna be a happy camper when I approached him about the ‘family bed.’ I'd have to carefully plan my strategy on that one. I gently picked Preston up and kissed her cheeks softly. Her lashes were long and thick, like Trey’s. I placed her into the bassinet and pulled the blanket up to her waist. I gazed down as she stretched and put her hand to her face, her thumb finding its place in her mouth.
She'd started sucking her thumb in the hospital. Trey was worried it would cause problems when her teeth came in. Her pediatrician wasn't. We'd encouraged a pacifier multiple times, which she'd promptly spit back out in favor of her thumb. Trey said she was stubborn like me. It amused me that all of the negative qualities she'd exhibited so far were attributed to my genetic contribution.
I went to the kitchen to start making my special meatloaf for dinner with scalloped potatoes. Thirty minutes later, both the meatloaf and potatoes were in the oven set to bake for one hour.
Seeing that Preston was still sleeping, I took a quick shower. My long, leisurely bubble baths were history, for now. Ten minutes later, I dressed in Capri pants and a tank top to accommodate June’s warm and muggy weather. I packed my gym bag for Pilates so it would be ready when Gina arrived.
When Trey walked through the door at five minutes to seven that evening I had Preston in her plastic tub bathing her on the kitchen counter. She'd learned to splash her bath water quite well with those little arms of hers. I was getting the bulk of it on my once-dry clothing.
“Hi, honey, just in time,” I called out as he set his briefcase down.
He came up behind and wrapped his arms around me nuzzling my neck. I still got goose bumps when his warm lips touched me anywhere. I was supporting the baby’s head, a clean towel was thrown over my shoulder.
“Trey,” I said laughing, maneuvering myself around him, “could you hold the towel so I can get her wrapped? I’m going to need to change my shirt before Gina gets here.”
“Sure, baby,” he answered, pulling the towel from my shoulder and coming around next to me. I lifted Preston from the warm bath; her little legs were kicking water onto both of us. Trey placed the towel behind her, wrapping it over each side of her as I lifted one hand and then the other so we could properly swaddle her. He was becoming an expert at this. Bundled up, I drew the baby against me as I leaned into Trey in order to kiss him properly. Our lips met in a long, leisurely kiss. I missed him when he was at work all day. Preston was squirming against me.
Trey leaned down and kissed the top of her head, greeting her as 'Bobbin'. He'd nicknamed her that because of the way her head bobbed as a newborn. I glanced at the clock. I had ten minutes before Gina would be here. I asked Trey to warm up one of the bottles in the fridge I'd prepared so he could finish feeding her. In less than a minute, our daughter was safely ensconced in her father’s arms finishing her dinner while I went back to our room to change.
Once I'd pulled a clean tee shirt on, I gathered up my gym bag, along with a disposable diaper, cotton nightgown, booties and a light receiving blanket for Preston.
Back in the living room, the doorman buzzed that Gina was on her way up. I placed the receiving blanket over Trey’s left shoulder, so that when he burped the baby, his Armani jacket would be protected. Her tiny little fingers were clutching and tugging at his long slender ones wrapped around the bottle. My heart swelled watching father and daughter bond.
I let Gina in and she immediately wanted to hold Preston before we left for Pilates. Trey grudgingly pulled the bottle away from her, carefully cradling her head as Gina bent to take her from him. Gina rocked her within her arms, swaying her back and forth while talking to her.
“Who's the prettiest baby in Atlanta, huh, Preston? Is it you? Is it you? Aunt Gina thinks it is. Aunt Gina thinks Preston's the most beautiful baby girl in the whole world.”
It amused me how otherwise perfectly sane adults would babble like idiots when a baby was around. Not that I was immune to the same type of behavior. While Gina was busy rocking and cradling Preston, I decided to fill Trey in on my pre-departure instructions.
“Trey, your dinner's warming in the oven. Please change and dress the baby as soon as Gina hands her back.”
“Yes, Tylar,” he replied, acting like an exasperated husband, but smiling.
“Now, her swing is in your study, so if you have work to do, keep her in there with you.”
He nodded affirmatively. “I think I can handle that, babe."
Gina relinquished Preston to Trey, who lifted her and placed her gently against his right shoulder just as she projectile spit-up all over the lapel of his Armani suit jacket.
“Oops,” Gina murmured, apologetically. “Maybe I jostled her a little too much just now.”
Trey cocked an eyebrow at her. “You think, Gina?”
Once out of earshot, Gina was still laughing. “Seriously Ty, he's adorable with her, I have to admit.”
“I know,” I replied warmly. “He's surpassed my expectations as a father. I mean, I knew he'd eventually get with the program, but right from the start, he's been a major help with the baby.”
We were in Gina’s car on the way to the gym and she'd been quiet for the past few minutes. “Ian and I are off birth control,” she stated quietly.
“That's so great, Gina! I hope you get pregnant quickly so that there isn’t too much of an age difference between our babies.”
“Wouldn’t that be so cool? I want to breastfeed, too. You make it look so easy, Ty.”
“It's easy,” I admitted. “But more than that, it's just so special, the way it makes you feel. Did I tell you that I want to start sleep-sharing?”
“Sleep sharing? What's that?”
I explained to Gina that many parents who are breastfeeding their infants are now opting to have the "family bed," which is where the mother, father, and baby all sleep together. It's supposed to help with total family bonding as well as benefit the infant promoting security and self-confidence.
“I see. And the Hot Nazi is down with that?”
“Well, actually, I haven’t discussed it with Trey in any detail yet.”
“Right,” she laughed. “You be sure and let me know how that goes, alright?”
“I think he'll be on board with it,” I lied.
“I hate to state the obvious here, girlfriend, but it looks like I have to. How in the hell are you two supposed to have a sex life with a baby in bed with you all night?”
I flushed, knowing this would be the same argument I could expect from Trey.
“Gina,” I replied patiently, “it enhances the specialness for couples as they find more creative and spontaneous times and places in their schedules to accommodate their lovemaking in private.”
I'd memorized this verbatim from the information I'd found online relative to the ‘family bed.’
“Right,” Gina replied. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that there isn’t going to be any ‘family bed’ in your house as long as Trey is living there.”
She started snickering, but I was fairly sure she was right.
Pilates was brutal, but well worth it since I discovered I'd lost two more pounds since last week. Only four more pounds to go until I'd be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.
Trey was in our bedroom watching something on ESPN, and Preston was sleeping soundly in her bassinet next to our bed. I crawled up on the bed next to Trey.
“How'd she do for you?" I asked him.
“She was a perfect angel, as always,” he boasted, gently tugging at my ponytail to draw my face close to his. He kissed me warmly.
“I’m going to grab a shower; want to join me?” I asked. He gave me his dimpled grin. Within moments we were soaping each other up in the shower, enjoying the feel of our hands all over each other. We quickly towel dried ourselves, then made a beeline for the bed while we had this window of opportunity before Preston would demand my attention once again.
We crawled beneath the sheets, still damp from our shower. Trey was on his back, his arm crooked beneath his head, watching me as I traced his nipple with my tongue. I continued on a southward path down his taut belly and below. My hands caressed his hips and massaged his firm ass. I parted his thighs, crawled between his legs and knelt, bending over to allow my damp hair to caress his belly while I took his erection into my mouth. I gently flicked my tongue along the growing length of it.
Just then, Preston started fussing from her bassinet. I could hear her sucking loudly on her fingers. She was hungry and it was right on schedule. I tried to increase my rhythm on Trey, going up and down on him faster. He'd slowed his thrusting, distracted by the baby’s fussing. Her discomfort was quickly escalating into full-blown crying.
It was no use. The window of opportunity had slammed shut for the moment. His hands framed my head, brushing my hair back and raising me up gently so that I could see his face.
“Take care of Preston, baby. I can wait.”
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