Chapter 2
I’d only been home for a day and a night when I could no longer pretend that the tension between my mother and James wasn’t there.
Mama hadn’t been very talkative to me since my arrival, which was odd since there wasn’t anything I could’ve done to piss her off. James had just been quiet and withdrawn. It was unusual behavior for the both of them, and it unnerved me to say the least.
I was in my room, folding clean laundry on my bed. I’d saved about two weeks’ worth of dirty laundry to bring home to do, but I knew Mama wasn’t pissed about that because it was fairly common for me to do that to save money. There was a soft tap on my door.
“Come in,” I called out, figuring it was Mama.
It was James. And his expression said it was something serious.
“Got a couple of minutes, Cupcake?”
I smiled and nodded. “Are you ever going to call me by my real name?” I asked, as I folded up a pair of jeans.
He closed the door softly behind him, and sat down on the bed. “I’m sorry, Sherry, you know, old habits die hard. For this discussion, I think I’d best call you by your name. So, do you have a few minutes to talk, Sherry Darling?”
He put extra emphasis on my name the second time around. He had called me Sherry Darling and Cupcake the whole time I was growing up. At my current age, I certainly preferred Sherry Darling over Cupcake!
“Sure,” I said, biting my lower lip. God I hope it wasn’t bad news. I said a silent prayer that it wouldn’t be.
He paused for a moment and I studied him. His thick dark hair was just above the collar of his shirt. I loved how disheveled it looked. It made him look even more rugged and sexy in my opinion. His intense blue eyes seemed even bluer as he searched his thoughts for his opening line. His hesitation didn’t serve to assuage my nerves at all.
“Sherry,” he said, and I loved the way my name sounded on his lips, “your mom and I well–you know we’ve been trying to get pregnant for a while now. We’ve spent a shitload of money on fertility testing, treatments—the whole shebang. Now I know this isn’t news to you, because unfortunately, all of it has put us in a financial position where we haven’t been able to help you the way we wanted to with your college and all. And for that, I’m really, really sorry.”
Oh shit.
“You want me to leave school,” I interrupted, knowing full well that’s what he was trying to get out there. And if that were the case, I know I wouldn’t have any choice in the matter. I’d have to be an adult about it, and not show just how much that would fuck up my plans for the future.
“No, honey. No—that’s not it. It’s a bit more… complicated than that, and I have to warn you right now, it’s so damn difficult for me to even ask it of you, but your mother just couldn’t bring herself to do it.”
Now I was totally scared. “Is Mama okay?” God, what would I do if he was about to tell me that during all of the testing the doctors had performed, they found something wrong with her. Something that was terminal and now my stepfather was forced to deliver the bad news to me. I swallowed nervously.
“Oh no, baby,” he replied, shaking his head back and forth. “I’m sorry I’m fumbling around with this. She’s fine, but you see, we found out that there’s no way she can conceive a baby. And it’s pretty much devastated her. That’s where we kind of need your help, and why this is so damn difficult. God, we will totally understand if you refuse us, and we won’t love you any less. I want you to know that right off the bat, okay?”
I swallowed again. I was more nervous now than I had been before. But I nodded my head indicating for him to continue. I had a sinking feeling that my stepfather was about to drop a major bomb on me.
“Here’s the thing, darlin’, you see, we don’t have the money to pay for a surrogate to carry our baby. Hell, we don’t have the money for artificial insemination even. So, what your mother and I are proposing is making you an offer.”
“An… offer?”
“Yes–an offer. If you carry the baby…and be our surrogate so to speak, we can afford to pay for your tuition—even if it means we take out loans to do it, and of course, you’re covered under our medical insurance for all costs associated with the prenatal and birthing expenses.”
Oh my God! I had never expected that this was what he needed to discuss with me. How could they possibly ask this of me?
I was a freakin’ virgin for Chrissake!
I was totally taken aback, not to mention shocked by what he had just said. I had to take a moment or several to gather my thoughts. I could feel his eyes studying me and I squirmed.
“James,” I finally said, “I… uh, I have to totally think about this. I mean, I’m only nineteen. I don’t know the specifics on how all of this stuff works with artificial insemination and all…I mean, I’ve never had a reason to know.”
“I get that, Cupcake–I’m sorry I mean Sherry. But the thing I have to tell you before you do give it some thought is… well, it’s not really an artificial insemination the way you think.”
“What?” I was still clueless as to the gist of where he was trying to go with this.
“No baby, again, that type of procedure takes money and the odds—well, they’re not as good as doing this the… natural way.”
“Natural way?” I had an uneasy feeling starting to seep inside of me. He was obviously uncomfortable the longer we delved into this touchy topic. Finally, he’d had enough. He sighed deeply and continued.
“The way it would work, Sherry, is that I would have sexual relations with you. You would be impregnated the natural way… the way that a man is supposed to plant his seed into a woman. The way that the Good Lord intended, you see?’
Oh Lord!
“What!?” I shrieked, totally caught off guard. “Are you serious?” I couldn’t imagine for one second that the good Lord had anything like this in mind. It was wrong! It had to be wrong, didn’t it?
“Calm down,” he warned, and he had never taken that kind of tone with me before. “It’s not like you think. It would be purely clinical, I promise. Trust me, your mother and I have discussed this many times and at length. While we realize you wouldn’t be on-board with this, I want to assure you that it would simply be the act. Nothing more.”
My cheeks were blazing with embarrassment along with anger. I mean what the fuck? It wasn’t as if I were deliberately holding on to my chastity until the bonds of marriage were spoken. The truth was, I’d had a steady boyfriend until I’d left for college.
Jeremy Dixon.
I had been in love with him since the beginning of our senior year. Three weeks before graduation, I had discovered him fucking my best friend Mazie in the backseat of her car!
On prom night.
Which was supposed to have been our night. It was supposed to have been the special night that I would give myself to him sexually. My very first time, although obviously it had never happened.
After that, I had remained somewhat embittered, and to be honest, I knew that I’d not made any attempt since then to cultivate any kind of dating relationship. But hell, college was a bitch getting used to, and I was just now to the point where I felt I had things under control.
Had being the operative word here.
“Can you at least say it’s not out of the question?” James asked, placing his hand on my shoulder, rubbing it in a very comforting way. “I know that this is a huge, huge favor. And trust me, Sherry, if there were another possible way I wouldn’t be standing here before you right now, asking you to make a major sacrifice for our sake. But honey, your mama wants a baby real bad. I mean, you’re all grown up and we’d always intended to bring a baby or two of our own into the mix, you know?”
His deep, rich voice was pleading, and it was breaking my heart. After all my mother and James had done for me, I felt some sort of obligation to at least consider it for their sakes. “The thing is,” I murmured, “that aside from the obvious reservations I have, there is one other thing here. I’m a virgin.”
I heard his loud exhale and didn’t dare look up at him. His face was so fucking gorgeous I knew I couldn’t handle it if he looked at me like I was a total reject.
“Hmm, well Sherry,” he replied, a look of total surprise on his face, as he ran a hand through his hair, “You know, I hadn’t counted on that. I hadn’t even considered that for a New York minute. I mean, damn little girl, you’re so damn beautiful and sexy and all. It just never occurred to me that somebody hadn’t already staked his claim on you now that you’re out from under our watchful eye, and away at college.” He laughed softly, his eyes perusing me up and down. I saw an expression of affection cross over his features as he studied me quietly.
And as his words sunk in, I was totally blown away by them. I had never considered myself to be beautiful or sexy. I was blond, blue-eyed and petite. I mean I didn’t see myself as anything special. I didn’t have humongous boobs or anything. I knew I wasn’t ugly, but I certainly hadn’t seen myself in the same light as my stepfather apparently did. It made me blush.
“I am?” I asked, looking up to search his dark blue eyes to see if there was anything less that sincerity there. I was pleased to see there wasn’t.
“Shit, darling,’ you must know how you look? Don’t you ever check yourself out in a mirror? Hell, your mother and I both figured you and that dweeb you dated back in high school had probably done the deed. I know we watched you like a hawk back then, but dudes—well, they can be pretty damn resourceful when they have one thing and one thing only on their mind. Trust me, I know.”
I gave him a meek smile. “Nope. We never did.”
He cocked a sexy brow, “Hells bells! I mean, what the hell was his deal for not trying. Was he gay?”
And I giggled at that for some reason. “No, actually, he preferred doing my best friend Mazie rather than me I guess.”
“Are you serious?” he asked and when I nodded he shook his head. “No fucking way,” he said, his voice filled with disbelief. “Hey, I’m sorry, hun. I just presumed and I shouldn’t have. But know this: your Mama and I have always been proud of the way you’ve behaved and conducted yourself. You never gave us reason to worry beyond the norm. I just figured at nineteen–”
“I know, I know,” I interrupted. “Late bloomer I guess. Listen, James, I will give your proposal some thought, okay? I promise. I love you and Mama more than anything. And I know how badly you’ve tried for a child, but I have to ask you this, won’t it be strange for you guys that the baby would be mine and yours–I mean not Mama’s at all?”
He shook his head. “Dana and I have talked about that. She said it would be more hers than if a total stranger were the surrogate. There would be a blood relation. Would you be okay with your role as a half-sister and not as a mother though? That’s the part that concerns me. And it concerns your mama as well.”
I nodded. “There’s no way in hell I’m ready to be a parent. And I know this sounds . . . shallow, but I really need to finish college and start a career, so the part about having my tuition covered? Yeah, that seems like a fair deal to me.”
He smiled, and tugged playfully at my ponytail. “I figured once you considered the practicality of it all, you wouldn’t be that opposed to the idea. We even looked into having you taking on-line courses right here at home if you want when your time gets close, or for however long you want.”
I nodded, “Yeah, I think that could work.”
“Do we have our answer, Sherry Darling?”
I smiled and nodded, looking down at my hands folded in my lap. How in the hell could I refuse them? I loved them both to the moon and back. “Yes, James. The answer is yes.”
“Oh God, your Mama is going to be so fucking happy. I know that I am.”
And he cupped my chin with his fingers, forcing me to look up into his smoldering eyes. “Thank you, Sherry.” And before I could say anything, he lowered his mouth to mine, his lips capturing mine gently, and I was surprised at how much I responded to his touch.
This was my stepfather!
I closed my eyes and went with it, my lips responded to his, parting as his tongue entered and slowly explored my mouth. We struck a rhythm that felt totally natural and right. Yeah, he was my stepfather, but he was also a man–a very sexy man at that.
“God you taste good,” he said, nipping at my lower lip. “I promise you, Sherry Darling, the first time I take you, I will be so fucking gentle with you. I don’t want you to be worried about the physical pain at all.”
I nodded. “So, when will this… uh, happen?”
“Your Mama wants to get with you and discuss your cycle. She has an ovulation detection kit. I mean, she doesn’t want us fucking any more than necessary. I guess you can understand that, I mean the thought of my cock being in someone else—well, it’s really difficult for her.”
I blushed, and pulled away, smoothing my hair back. “It’s weird for all of us,” I replied. “Let’s keep it totally clinical.”
“Of course, Sherry. That’s how it has to be.”
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