When We Touch
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“A master of her craft." — RT Book Reviews “An incredible storyteller.” — Los Angeles Daily News Queen Victoria’s London is a teeming metropolis of pageantry, forbidden desire, and danger—especially in the East End, a hotbed of vice, witchcraft, and murder. What widow Lady Maggie Graham does there more than greases the rumor mill. When she agrees to wed the Viscount Langdon, there are those who would act upon their suspicions . . . Experience has taught Lord Jamie well. He has seen his fair share of women behave inappropriately—enjoying risqué amusements in secret theatres, running about disguised in the seediest parts of the city—and then they call you vile names for coming to their rescue. And no woman is more shameless, more cunning, more intoxicating than Lady Maggie . . . “Heather Graham sparkles!” — Kat Martin, New York Times bestselling author
Release date: August 30, 2016
Publisher: Zebra Books
Print pages: 448
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When We Touch
Heather Graham
She swore softly beneath her breath—something she quickly assured herself that no lady would do. And, yet, of course, that was her title, despite the fact that her late husband had been a commoner. As the daughter of a baron, she was entitled to be called “lady” until the day she died. Not that it mattered so terribly to her. But then, beyond a doubt, she was the black sheep of her family—sooted and grimed, she was certain, in the eyes of her oh-so-social-conscious uncle, aunt, and cousins.
Angus, she thought, with a twinge of humor entering her tired mind, must surely regret his older brother’s marriage—and the fact that, after several childless years, her mother had produced not just one child, but two, in the form of twins. In the great scheme of legal matters within Great Britain, her own birth mattered little. But seconds after her arrival, Justin had entered the world. And thus ended Angus’s hope for her father’s title. Actually, it was all quite amazing. Justin was hardly a boy any longer, and Angus still swaggered about as if he were head of the family.
“The ogre is here!” Mireau said softly from behind her.
“You mustn’t refer to Angus as an ogre,” she said, flashing a quick smile to her friend. Jacques Mireau had come into her life at a far happier time. Since then, he had decided that he must be her defender. Also, as he was an aspiring author, he needed patronage while he penned his golden tomes. Theirs was, therefore, quite a beneficial friendship, though she was certain there were others who saw far more into the relationship than what existed. She didn’t particularly care. Illusions of grandeur were not a part of her existence. She felt blessed to have had a short piece of magic in her life that had taught her the beauty of what might be in truth, and the suffering to be found in the hypocrisy of so much that was done in the pursuit of a life that was customarily no more than image and mirage.
“You refer to him as an ogre,” Mireau reminded her.
“Only when we’re alone.”
“We haven’t yet walked in the house,” he said. “And your footsteps are slowing, as if you are loathe to do so.”
“I shall admit, to you and you alone, that Uncle Angus is not my favorite person.”
Mireau’s hands fell softly on her shoulders and his powder blue eyes widened, as if with dire dread and alarm. “We must face the firing squad quickly! The longer one lingers in the agony of doubt . . . the deadlier the pain!”
“What nonsense—facing a firing squad would make it all over, wouldn’t it?” Maggie said, forcing a note of impatience. But at his teasing, she quickened her steps. Angus was there. Might as well find out why, and endure whatever lecture he now had to give.
At the top step, she suddenly swung on Mireau. “I can handle any ogre!” she assured him, drawing closed a small parasol as they entered the house.
Clayton was at the door, as if he had known of her arrival just outside. As if he had been waiting, and watched her pause. She inclined her head slightly at the skeletal old dear who doubled as their butler and her brother’s valet, brows knitting into a frown.
“Lord Angus is here, Lady Maggie,” he announced, though the announcement was surely not necessary. Still, quite correct.
She smiled. “Thank you, Clayton,” she said, undoing the tiny little buttons at her wrists and removing her gloves as he took her cape from her shoulders. “Have you offered my dear uncle tea as yet?” She gave Clayton her gloves and the small reticule she had carried.
“My lady, we have just been waiting your arrival so that you might serve,” Clayton told her.
She delicately arched a brow. Was she being tested on her ability to serve tea—at this late date?
“How delightful and courteous that Angus has waited,” she said, certain that her uncle could clearly hear her every word. “We shall certainly hasten ourselves right into the parlor, then.”
Clayton blocked her path and whispered softly, “The family only!” A wiggle of his eyes back and forth informed her that she was to leave Mireau behind.
“I’ll be in my attic garret, when you need me,” Mireau said quickly.
“Coward,” she said with a smile.
“Indeed. He might well be here to inform you that I must be out of the house.”
“Rubbish. He hasn’t the right.”
“Lady Maggie, may I suggest that you not keep Lord Angus waiting?” Clayton prompted softly. He cleared his throat, taking a liberty. “Your brother has kept him sole company quite long enough, under the circumstances.”
Maggie frowned again, nodded to Mireau, and approached the parlor. For once, she wished that she were better dressed. But she had spent the morning on charity work, a cause near and dear to her heart, so much more so because she had learned from Nathan of the poverty and squalor to be found just beyond the opulence of so much of London. She was very simply dressed in black linen from head to toe, her outfit devoid of lace or decoration of any kind. Dirt and grime were the only adornments on her skirt. She had two great passions in her life then—easing the lives of the ragged and starving orphans to be found in the East End, and unmasking the charlatans who claimed to be “mesmerists” and cheated rich and poor alike out of their livelihoods while promising to contact their deeply mourned departed.
“Uncle Angus!” she said, sweeping into the parlor. Even as she did so, her voice perfectly modulated, her every move that of the lady born and bred, she couldn’t help but notice the genteel poverty of her own homestead. The divan was growing threadbare at the edges, as was the one-time exquisite Persian carpet on the hardwood floor.
“My dear.” Angus had been sitting at one of the high-backed chairs around the divan. A stiff chair, and his posture was equally as stiff. He had known she had arrived, of course. He had waited for her arrival in the room to stand.
He came forward, tall and imposing, white-haired, muttonchopped sideburns, small mustache and goatee perfectly groomed. His waistcoat and jacket were elegantly tailored, and she could see the shimmer of his sterling watch bob. Angus cut quite a figure, she had to admit. And in looks, he reminded her of her father, though that dear man became more of a wisp of memory as the years since his death passed by.
He caught both of her hands, then kissed each of her cheeks, as if he had spent most of his time on the Continent. He had not. He worked for the Queen’s household, though in just what capacity, she had never quite known.
“Maggie,” Justin said softly, rising as well. She glanced quickly at her brother. He looked ghastly.
They were twins, and certainly bore a resemblance. From their mother they had inherited an unusual shade of hair—a true reddish blond, gold in the light of the sun, light, and yet, very rich. Nathan had once told her that it was like a shining halo—not the halo of a soft or silly angel, but rather that of an avenger, out to bring Almighty Justice. It was part of her temper, he had teased. And part of the fighting spirit that he’d vowed he so loved.
In his memory, she would never cut it.
Justin, too, seemed quite fond of his, wearing it a bit longer than the fashion. He was clean shaven, which suited him, for his features were cleanly cut, and decidedly strong, very handsome. Today, however, her handsome sibling looked not only ashen, but bent, as if holding his own frame erect was a terrible effort. He offered her a weak smile, looked sicker still, and sat again.
“Ah, the tea!” she said, as Clayton entered, bearing the tray. She went about the business immediately of pouring, telling Angus, “Uncle, I believe you prefer it with just one lump and a bare touch of cream?”
“Indeed, my dear.”
“Molly’s scones are beyond delight, sir. You must taste one.”
Angus accepted his cup of tea, but waved his hand impatiently at the offer of a scone. “Pour your brother his tea, my dear. And find a perch for yourself, for the business at hand is serious.”
She couldn’t help a quick glance at Justin. He refused to catch her eye. He didn’t look one bit like Lord Graham, a grand baron of the Ton. He looked like a stricken invalid.
She passed him a cup of tea, noting that his hands were trembling and the fine china service clattered dangerously in his grip. She pretended to ignore his state, keeping her composure as she poured tea for herself, purposely adding fuel to her uncle’s fire as she took her time, then found a seat in the straight, wing-backed chair opposite him.
“So, Uncle, this is not a social call,” she said at last.
“Hardly social,” Angus said, and she thought she detected a snicker to his words.
“Pray then,” she said, slightly hiking a brow, “do enlighten us.”
Angus leaned forward, setting his cup on the Oriental table before him.
“I can no longer afford the behavior of this branch of the family!”
She was startled enough that her own cup clattered upon its saucer. “My dearest uncle, I am offended. For though we would never fail to bow to your wisdom—or forget that you are the brother of our dear departed father—it is my brother, Justin, who bears the family title.”
“And has made waste of all that the family has gained!” Angus said angrily.
Her eyes flew to her brother at that point and sickness fell to the pit of her stomach with a walloping thump. Justin would still not look her way.
“Justin has gambled away all but the title, I’m afraid. I’ve kept this home afloat—and your brother from his gambling debts—longer than I am able. Your cousin Diana is due to make her first appearance in society this season. You and Justin must now bear responsibility for your own welfare.”
“But—but—!” Maggie stammered, then grew furious with her own lack of composure. “We were left in secure finances.”
“You were—you are now in deep debt—to me, and not just to me! God knows what other creditors there are who have not been paid,” Angus said contemptuously.
Justin suddenly came to life, and whatever he had done, Maggie was proud of him in that one moment of righteous anger he showed. “My lord uncle! It was you who suggested that I spend my nights following in the party of our dear royal Eddy, and it is thus, sir, that I have come to these lamentable circumstances!”
“Lamentable, indeed. If you do not change your ways or find some means of salvation, you are likely to find yourself in the debtor’s section of Newgate!”
As she had heard far more than anyone really wanted to know about the prison, Maggie was instantly horrified.
“Uncle,” Justin said quietly, “I believe you’re being a bit dramatic. The new prison for debtors is in Pentonville, if I’m not mistaken.” He looked at his sister dryly. “It’s considered quite a model prison. There’s good ventilation, and it’s solitude they put you in these days, hours and hours alone to contemplate your sins. Truly, the building is supposed to be a gorgeous example of the genius of Victorian architecture.”
Angus was furious. He wagged a finger at Justin. “Let me tell you, my worldly young lord! You may still be hauled into Newgate until your trial takes place, and believe me, the rats and the stench remain! Along with many of those hardened criminals awaiting execution.”
“They don’t execute men for debt,” Justin said coldly.
“This cannot be true!” Maggie said. “I knew that we were rich in the sense of family and title if not in vast estates, but there was a trust!”
“There was a trust. No more.”
Maggie stared at her brother again. Now, his eyes, as rich a blue as her own, stared back. “I’m afraid it isn’t easy keeping up with the Prince, or his companions,” he said.
“There should be a rich marriage in the offing for your brother. In time,” Angus said. “I have been quietly making inquiries, intent upon finding the proper bride.”
Maggie could well imagine. Angus would be looking, certainly. He would be seeking an aging dowager with properties and monies in abundance. However, she would be far beyond the age when a child might be produced, and therefore, the title would fall to Angus and his heirs.
“Now, I may suggest first that you cut down on your household—starting with the chaff,” Angus said.
“Jacques Mireau.”
Angus grimaced in a fashion that made his lips very slim. “The man is a leech.”
“A friend, a poet, and one day, a famed writer, I am certain,” Maggie said.
“There are whispers about you,” Angus said.
“I’m sorry, Uncle, as I know how very much the opinions of those in your strata matter to you. What is said about me is not important.”
“For your brother’s sake, it is highly important.” Angus’s fingers were all but white as he gripped the arms of his chair. “As if you have not embarrassed the family enough already—marrying a policeman!”
“Well, then, thank God that he died so young, rather than embarrassing us further!” Maggie cried, unable at that point to restrain her fury.
She wasn’t at all sure herself why this argument seemed to be so much between her and Angus—she wasn’t the one who had gambled away the family fortune. But then she realized suddenly that she was under personal attack, and she knew that she was about to discover why.
“There is a solution,” Angus said.
“And that is?” she demanded.
“Marriage.”
“Well,” she said, glancing at Justin again. He was to be wed to an old dowager. However innocently he might have fallen into vice, he was the one who had done so.
“And, pray, what marriage might you have negotiated in my brother’s behest?”
“Your brother’s marriage, my girl, is still under negotiation.”
“I’m sure she’s rich and charming—and certainly, sir, with your wisdom, you’ve chosen someone with a definite measure of... maturity,” Maggie said politely.
Justin let out something that sounded strangely like a snort, not at all becoming a baron. Nor did he seem to care—it was a sound of self-loathing, and disturbed Maggie greatly.
“There is surely a way out of this rather than a hasty and unhappy marriage for my brother,” Maggie informed Angus sternly. “This is, after all, the nineteenth century.”
“Maggie!” Justin protested, forming words at last. “It isn’t my impending marriage that brings such a searing sense of pleasure and satisfaction to our dear uncle’s face.”
His sarcasm did not go unnoticed.
“Ungrateful whelp!” Angus said angrily, almost rising.
“Ah, but titularly, he is the head of the family,” Maggie murmured.
“Others of far greater magnitude have rotted away in Newgate,” Angus reminded her.
“The marriage he has planned—and, oh, yes, certainly to a person of wealth, charm, and maturity, is for you,” Justin said.
Stunned, Maggie gasped aloud. “Me!”
“Why so surprised, my dear niece?” Angus asked. He wore a look of feigned distress, while she knew that he secretly relished her amazement and discomfort. She shuddered within, wondering what manner of man her uncle might have found for her.
Angus stood, hands clasped behind his back as he paced around the chair. “Frankly, I’d not have thought of such a happy remedy for your plight on my own, I fear.” He stopped and stared straight at her, shaking his head with dismay. “You had such a brilliant season in your youth, my dear! You dazzled the Ton, and you had the credentials to bring about a splendid marriage. But you chose to disgrace the family and take up with a commoner!”
She thought wryly that he might have been less disproving had she opted to commit murder.
“I know, Angus, that this is something completely beyond your realm of understanding, but I married Nathan because I fell in love with him.” She was standing herself, and realized that her fingers had knotted so tightly into her palms that she was digging holes into her own flesh. “In fact, sir, I remember your kind, sympathetic, and so completely understanding words at his funeral. That I was somewhat young still, and though tarnished, I might still have some redeeming value!”
He didn’t notice mockery or reproach in her words; he found in them a note of her own understanding. “Aha! There, you see? What I said was true. The time has come. I was at the club the other day and a most remarkable thing happened. Charles, Viscount Langdon, approached me about you. He had heard about your unfortunate marriage, and the death of your husband, and was quite concerned for your welfare. He remembered you, and believes still that you are the most beautiful young woman ever to walk the earth. Beautiful—and available, I fathom. But that is far beyond the point. The marriage portion he has offered would pay off the gambling debts and allow Justin an opportunity to redeem himself, and the family name. Money means nothing to Lord Charles. He has properties throughout the known world and made quite a fortune to add on to his family inheritance, which includes vast stretches of land in Scotland as well as on the Continent and in the Caribbean.” He glared at Justin, indicating that the nobleman in question knew how to responsibly handle a family fortune while Justin most assuredly did not. “Well, my dear? This is a rare opportunity for you. Society would accept you once again.”
“Uncle Angus, surely this cannot come as a vast surprise to you—I have attended those ‘society’ teas, balls, and parties that have had any appeal for me for the past several years. This, I know, will surely shock you, but the opinions of dandies, fops, and braggarts do not mean a great deal to me. When Nathan died, I said that I would not marry again.”
Angus waved a hand in the air impatiently. “A sweet sentiment, voiced by many a young widow, and certain to be changed.”
Justin cleared his throat. “I believe that Lord Charles is looking for a companion, rather than a bride in the way that a man does in his first youth.”
She glared at her brother. He flushed, and looked away. Then he stood, as well. “Uncle Angus, the idea of this marriage is repulsive in my sister’s eyes. I incurred the debts. If it be Newgate, sir, then I shall go as the Crown commands.”
“The pair of you will likely rot with the rats!” Angus said impatiently. “I was stunned and greatly relieved to entertain the offer of such a man, especially when I certainly could not offer a young lady of good reputation and sound family.”
“The family you speak of is yours as well, Uncle,” Maggie said. “And I do beg your pardon! I hardly walked the streets of Whitechapel propositioning laborers, nor did I tease the married men of the Ton, which others you would consider to be of excellent value have done.”
“You married a commoner, and you are past your first youth. Like it or not, my dear, that, indeed, lessens your value in the marriage market. Not to mention the fact that you bring no fortune, indeed, one is needed to salvage you both from the dank cells of debt.”
“Sir, do you realize that this very conversation is common?” Maggie demanded. And so it was. Yet it was blunt, and she was shaking because she knew that he was speaking a certain amount of truth. Common, yes, it was all quite common. She had married a commoner. She had never once regretted her decision, not even when she had laid Nathan to rest. The two sweet years they’d shared before a cutthroat’s knife had brought him down had still been worth whatever agony of loneliness was left to bear in the years to come. She hadn’t minded not being rich—the very concept of true wealth and elegance had died with her parents. She had a mind and a spirit for causes, and she had certainly thought that they were living well enough on their allowances.
She looked across the room at her brother, and for a moment, fury raged through her. Then she knew that he was not at fault. Angus had instructed him after their father’s death. And Angus had taught him that society was everything, winning the friendship of the Crown, being among the most elite of the Ton. She had known that he ran with the heir apparent and his crowd; they had often argued about the Empire, and the responsibilities that were inherent with power, the greatness and the splendor of so much, while beneath their very noses, the people often suffered appallingly. Oh, yes, she had known. She had even made a few perfunctory appearances, as she had assured Angus. She loved Justin, and they were close.
Not close enough, she realized. For she had known nothing about his growing debt, and yet, it should not be a surprise, for few men had such a reputation for debauchery as Eddy, Duke of Clarence, heir presumptive to the throne after his own father, the eldest son of Queen Victoria.
“I can’t begin to imagine any venue of employment where either of you could so much as begin to make enough to clear the debts,” Angus said. “I’m afraid, though, that the house must go immediately.”
“We can sell the estate in the north,” Maggie suggested.
Angus shot Justin a chastising glance. “It’s been gone quite some time already, dear child,” he said softly.
She sank back into her chair.
Justin walked to her with purpose and determination. Down on a knee, he took her hands in his. “Don’t worry, old girl. They’ll lock me up, and perhaps a toothless old hag—but one with plenty of money—will come rescue me!” He tried to speak lightly.
She was angry enough for one moment to let him rot—and marry a toothless old hag. But she would never give Angus that satisfaction. Her brother was going to have a bride young enough to procreate if it killed her.
She looked past Justin. “You may arrange a meeting, Uncle, between your Viscount and myself.”
“That will be satisfactory,” Angus said. “Tomorrow morning. At ten. And good God, girl! Don’t be dressed as a crone, in rags and darkness—and dirt!”
“I shall wear something entirely suggestive, in shocking yellow, perhaps,” she returned, too angry to remember any modicum of respect. How had this man been her father’s brother?
“Come to think of it, my dear,” Angus said, pleasantly enough, “you are quite well and properly dressed right now—should you choose for your destination to be Newgate.”
With that, he bowed and departed, calling over his shoulder, “We will call at ten. Promptly.”
The parlor was still, dead still, until they heard the door slam. Angus had not needed to ask Clayton for his great overcoat—bless dear Clayton. The man had been ready with her uncle’s fine wool garment, cane, and silk hat.
“There is no reason for you to marry miserably to save my skin,” Justin said flatly. He no longer appeared pale and ashen, but rather resolved. “I knew better, as I incurred the debt. It is my mistake. Though the idea is not appealing, I deserve a debtor’s imprisonment.”
Maggie stared at him, and the anger that had boiled within her evaporated in a single breath. “No.”
“Maggie, you will not pay for my sins. Seriously. This is not false bravado on my part. I don’t intend to go quietly. I have made the acquaintances of a few blushing widows who would not be averse to my attentions.”
“No.”
“Maggie, dammit—!”
“Justin, don’t be crass.”
“Maggie, I’ve heard you say far worse.”
“Justin!”
“I don’t condemn you for it. I admire your ability to thumb your nose at the entire world. It gives you a dignity you cannot begin to imagine.”
“Language is not the issue here.”
“I fully intend to refuse your hand in marriage to the Viscount.”
“Angus has, I believe, consented already.”
“It is not our uncle’s position. It is mine. Legally, it is my right to allow or disallow your marriage, and that is the way that it is.”
She sighed softly, looking down at her hands for a moment. If her uncle had found this man, he was surely loathsome. But if he was as rich as Angus claimed, and as infatuated, he might be quite a useful companion.
“Ah, come, Maggie, dear! I cannot apologize to you enough. I will make good for this myself. If I find the right old sweetie, she might pop off quite soon enough.”
“Oh, Justin, that’s horrible.”
“So many things that are true are horrible, as well. I mean this, Maggie, I have been a fool. I tried to be all that Angus wanted, the perfect swain, so close to the throne that I was all but perched on the edge! And so here I am. I am. Not you.”
“Justin, do you really love me, dearly, and are you truly, truly sorry?” she demanded.
“Indeed, I am,” he said gravely.
“Then, if you would do anything to make it up to me, you will give your blessing on my marriage to this man.”
“Why?” he demanded in turn.
“Because, Justin, if there is anything I want in this world, it’s to be aunt to a dozen little nieces—and nephews. I swear to you, Justin, there is nothing more important in this world. And we cannot count on an old dowager departing this world expediently, and if there is anything at all that would cause me untold grief, it would be Angus inheriting our father’s title. Do you understand? If you love me and would make amends, find a proper young woman—rich, poor, common, or noble—and marry her. Soon.”
Justin hung his head, quietly folding his hands together in prayer fashion. He looked up at her. “Maggie, for the love of God, you mustn’t hate Angus more than you love yourself.”
She smiled. They were grave and solemn words from him, and spoken with firm passion and resolve.
She came to him that time, taking his hands. “Justin, if this man is truly horrendous, we will talk again tomorrow. But if he . . . if he’s at all decent, then perhaps he can give me things that I do want in this world. A voice among the very rich and important people. You know how I feel about the dreadful conditions in some of the orphanages. Perhaps he’ll buy me a factory for a wedding present, and we can see that people are given fair wages for decent hours.”
“Oh, Maggie!” Again, her very handsome and now humble brother appeared ill. She was almost annoyed. Here she was, the lamb going to slaughter, and she was trying to make him feel better about it!
“Justin, do you remember when I fell in love with Nathan? You were so strong then. You were the great baron, the head of the household, insisting that I would marry as I chose. Well, I did. You supported me when many a man wouldn’t have done so. Well, I have lost Nathan. And I will never love again. So if I marry a very rich nobleman who is ridiculously in love with me—without even knowing me!—it will not really matter in the least. Hopefully, we will be friends.”
He looked straight ahead. “Friends, yes. Oh, yes, because he is surely one of the most decent fellows I have ever met.”
She sat back. “You know him?”
“Of course.” He gave a dry laugh. “He doesn’t run with the likes of Eddy. He is very close to the Queen. One of the few people she will see in private, and with whom she shares her mourning and her confidence. They console one another. His wife has been gone for years, as has Her Majesty’s still so lamented dear Prince Albert. Truly, he is decent, caring, and not at all bad-looking, really. Well, you know, for such an old tar! Tall and regal. Dignified. Indeed, you might make quite a pair, turning the world upside down.” He tried to smile.
She smiled. “So . . . I meet him tomorrow.”
“I don’t like this. I don’t like this one bit.”
“Yes, well, I don’t think either of us would like Newgate, either,” she said a little sharply. Again, for a moment, she felt the temptation to throttle him. Except that she knew that, whatever trouble he might have gotten into, Justin truly rued anything that might now hurt her. He was telling the truth. If she exhibited one bit of distress, he’d offer himself to the authorities.
“Look, Maggie, you must listen to me—”
“Justin, a few possibilities here are beginning to appeal to me. Do you know just how powerful I could become—with the right backing?”
“But there is no agreement, unless you truly wish it.”
She didn’t tell him that she would wish it if he produced the devil himself—as long as it kept him from marrying a dowager with one foot in the grave and not a prayer of producing an heir.
“Naturally,” she murmured, and started to leave the parlor. She was shaking too hard to stay.
But at the arch to the entry, she paused, swinging back on him. “If you get into this kind of debt again, Justin, you won’t need to worry about Newgate. I’ll swing you from a yardarm myself, do you understand?”
She didn’t want an answer. She fled.
“Nine-fifty-five,” Mireau said, giving her the exact time before she could ask. She had voiced the question every few minutes for the last twenty.
Like Justin, he had tried to dissuade her. He had come up with every other possible solution, none of which was actually possible. He had wanted to wage some kind of battle himself, but they both knew, even if he suddenly managed to make himself a respected literary nam
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