CHAPTER ONE
Meg rocked in the chair, the darkened nursery only dimly lit by the moonlight outside the window. Clouds were obscuring most of it, but she could still make out the crib across the room and, of course, the little red light illuminating from the baby monitor on the table nearby.
The room wasn’t that big, but neither was the apartment that she and Christian shared with their new daughter, Vivi. Meg wasn’t accustomed to such a small space having grown up in a large suburban home. At least the tiny dorm room at the university she attended in France prepared her for living in tight quarters.
Tonight, like most nights, she had hidden herself away in the nursery even though Vivi was fast asleep in her crib. She wanted to say that she needed to be close to her new baby, but right now she was just trying to get space. She needed quiet. She longed for a peace that just wouldn’t come.
When the doctor had laid her new baby on her chest, she’d felt a rush of love she didn’t even know was possible. Her cheeks hurt for days because of the huge smile she had plastered on her face every time she looked at Vivi.
And then something changed. At first, it seemed subtle. She didn’t want to get up and do her two AM feeding. Of course, she had to since she was breast feeding, but she didn’t want to have that bonding time for some reason. She felt disconnected, in a way.
Then there were the days she cried all day long. Her doctor told her that her hormones were all over the place and would regulate themselves soon enough. She felt alone and exhausted.
The few times she’d tried to explain her feelings to Chris- tian, he’d looked much like a deer caught in the headlights.
She knew he wanted to help, but most of the time she felt like wringing his neck.
Her emotions just made no sense. She was both panicky and depressed, angry and yet sad. She didn’t know if she was coming or going most of the time.
At twenty years old, she hadn’t expected to be a new mom. She didn’t think she’d be living in a tiny South Carolina town where she knew no one but her family and Dixie. She felt isolated and too embarrassed to tell her mother what was going on. She’d put her through enough getting pregnant so young and out of wedlock.
Every night, before she fell asleep, she prayed so hard that God would make her a good mother. She prayed that He would take these awful feelings away and replace them with happiness and joy. She hadn’t felt much joy in the two months since giving birth.
What was a new mother supposed to feel like, anyway?
Surely, it wasn’t sad, anxious and depressed. Wasn’t she supposed to gaze upon the brand new life she’d created and feel a welling up of love and excitement?
For her, that hadn’t happened since the first few days after having Vivi. Of course, there were short moments of peace where she stared at her new daughter and thanked God for this wonderful gift. But, there were more times that she wanted to curl up into the fetal position and cry for days.
Her heart broke that this was her first experience with motherhood and that Vivi wasn’t feeling enough love from her. What would that do to her daughter as she grew up? Would this time of her life make her feel disconnected from others or depressed herself one day?
It was all too much.
She sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. The air smelled of baby powder. She could hear Vivi quietly breathing a few feet away and wondered what that kind of peace felt like.
“Hey,” she heard Christian say softly from the doorway. He had to know something was wrong. After all, he’d found her crying earlier in the day, holding a dirty diaper in one hand and a pack of animal crackers in the other. She’d been so tired and hungry and worn down that she just froze in place, forgetting that she was trying to eat a snack.
“Hey,” she said, not turning around to face him. Instead, she kept rocking and staring out the window.
“You coming to bed soon?”
“I don’t know,” she said. Part of her wanted to sleep in the rocker. The other part of her wanted to go outside and run until her legs gave out, and she wasn’t even a runner.
This push-pull feeling of new motherhood had her stumped. She adored her daughter, but she also wanted to run away. Why was her brain betraying her like this?
Christian walked closer, still keeping his voice barely above a whisper. “Meg, you need sleep. Come to bed.”
She looked up at him. “Don’t push, Christian.”
He nodded slowly and walked out, closing the door behind him. She wondered if he’d leave her soon, maybe even file for custody. She loved him so much, but he didn’t deserve this either. Maybe another woman would raise her child better. Maybe she should’ve done the adoption so Vivi would have a better mother.
As tears rolled down her cheeks like soldiers running straight into battle, she pulled her knees up to her chest and prayed that morning would be here soon.
Dawson pounded the last nail on his new deck overlooking the beach and stood back to look at his handiwork. He wiped his brow and took a long drink from his water bottle. This project had been a labor of love. He hadn’t told anyone about his big plans yet, and he wondered what Julie would think.
“Wow! This looks amazing!” she said from behind him. “Hey, you,” he said, smiling. It was always a good day when he got to see her. Her life was busier than ever with Meg and the new baby, Colleen back home and working at the bookstore.
He pulled her into a tight hug and kissed the top of her head. She always smelled like strawberries which just happened to be his favorite fruit.
“I missed you,” she said as she looked up at him. It had been a couple of days since they’d seen each other.
“Ditto,” he said, stepping back. “So, you like it?”
She walked around the platform deck. “I love that you didn’t put spindles up because now you have this amazing view of the ocean. I could sit here all day, every day.”
“And you’re always welcome to do just that,” he said with a laugh. He put his arms around her waist from behind and pressed his lips against her neck. “In fact, we could just stay here from now on, and people can come visit us. We’ll have food delivered, and I’ll put a portable toilet right over there.”
She laughed. “I was happy with this plan until you mentioned the toilet. Kind of ruined the moment.”
Dawson was nervous about telling her his news. Maybe she’d think it was a dumb idea or that it would be too time consuming. After all, they were already struggling trying to find more time together.
“Are you ready for a break? We could go into town and get some lunch,” she said.
He scrunched his nose. “I would love to, but I actually have an important meeting in an hour.”
She looked at him quizzically. “Is it a doctor’s appoint- ment? Are you okay?”
He laughed. “Nothing like that. It’s actually with my attorney.”
“Oh.”
“Aren’t you curious why I’m meeting with my lawyer?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “I assume you’d tell me if you wanted me to know.”
Dawson smiled. “Well, it just so happens I do want you to know.”
“Okay…”
“The reason I’m working on this deck and all of these other projects is because I’m opening up The Inn at Seagrove.”
Julie’s eyes opened wide as she put her hand over her mouth. “What? Seriously?”
He froze for a moment. Did she think this was a silly idea? Maybe she thought he wasn’t capable enough to run an inn.
“Yes, I’m serious,” he said.
Julie grinned and jumped up and down before hugging his neck tightly. “Oh my goodness! Congratulations, Dawson!
That’s so amazing!”
This was one of the things he loved about her. She always supported him no matter what.
He pulled back and looked at her, his hands around her waist. “Really? You’re happy about this?”
She looked at him, confused. “Why wouldn’t I be?” “Well, it’s going to consume a lot of my time, so we might
not be able to go out as much. And, to be honest, I thought maybe you’d think I was crazy being a man trying to run an inn.”
She smiled and put her arms around his neck. “Dawson Lancaster, I believe you can do anything, and I support you no matter what.”
“You’re amazing,” he said, kissing the top of her head. “And I’ll help you in any way you need me,” she said. Dawson chuckled. “I may just take you up on that. So, have you seen Vivi today?”
He always poked fun at how many times Julie snuck away during the week to see her new granddaughter. She was obvi- ously madly in love with her chubby little cheeks and wispy brown tuft of hair.
“Not today,” she said with a sly smile. “I called Meg but she sounded so tired that I decided not to invite myself over.”
“Is she okay?”
“I think so. Being a new mother is so exhausting. I’m sure she isn’t getting much sleep.”
“You’re probably right about that.”
“When are you planning to open this place?”
He sucked in a deep breath and blew it out. “Actually, next month.”
“Next month? Really? That’s fast!”
“I know. I really want to be up and running for the holi- days, though, so opening in October gives us a few weeks to work out the kinks.”
“What about Lucy?”
“Oh, she’s sticking around to be my in-house chef. Believe it or not, she’s excited. She likes having people around.”
“I bet your granny in heaven is grinning from ear to ear right now.”
“I hope so. I want to make her proud of me.” Julie rubbed his arm. “I’m sure she already is.”
Janine walked down the sidewalk, taking in the changes that were going on. The town had recently started building a new gazebo in the square, and a couple of shops had new tenants moving in soon.
She loved parking further away from her studio and walking through town. It was the most quaint place she’d ever been to in all of her travels. Everyone was friendly, warm and welcoming. She truly loved her new home.
The yoga studio was becoming more popular by the week. Even tourists were coming during their vacations, and her on location beach classes were a hit. She had even started working with the local elementary school, doing stress reduction PE classes and teaching the kids about meditation in a way they could understand. Her dreams were all coming true.
And then there was William. Their relationship had strengthened as he worked side by side with her to help make the yoga studio successful. His guidance had helped her become a businesswoman, and she’d never thought that was possible.
For the first time in her life, she found herself looking at a future with a man. She’d even imagined what it would be like to get married and live the white picket fence lifestyle she’d never thought she wanted.
As she walked closer to her studio, she was surprised to see that the space next door had finally been rented after being empty for a couple of months.
“Good morning,” William said as he walked up and handed Janine her normal morning cup of coffee.
“Good morning,” she said, smiling as she planted a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for the caffeine fix. I need it.”
He looked over her shoulder at the store window behind her. “Somebody rented this place?”
She turned back and read the government sign affixed to the window. “Yeah. Looks like it’s going to be a bakery of some kind.”
“Yum. I love anything baked,” he said, laughing.
“Yeah, I know. You devoured that poundcake Julie made on Sunday.”
He smiled. “Hey, it was good. What can I say?”
“She got the recipe from our mother, who got it from her mother. My Nana made the best poundcakes.”
“Well, that’s one family tradition I’m onboard with. So, do you have a class this morning?”
“I do. This morning is a seniors class. I love teaching these ladies.”
He rubbed her arm. “I’m so proud of what you’re doing around here, Janine. I’ve had so many people tell me how much your classes have helped them. One guy I work with said his wife’s sciatica is gone.”
She grinned. “That makes me so happy.”
“Well, I’d better get to work. My boss said he needs to meet with me this morning.”
She furrowed her eyebrows. “I hope everything is okay.”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I hope so too. I’m sure it’s just to talk about some projects we have coming up next year. I’ll meet you for lunch?”
She gave him a peck on the lips. “Can’t wait.”
“All I’m saying is that I’d love to meet him,” Julie said, grinning.
Dixie rolled her eyes as she continued digging into the new box of books that had been delivered to the store that morning. Going into the fall season, they were overrun with cookbooks for the upcoming holidays, even though it was still quite warm and summer-like outside.
“I mean, you say I’m like the daughter you never had. Wouldn’t you want your future husband to meet me?” Julie said, toying with Dixie.
“He’s not gonna be my husband, darlin’. Johnny was the only husband I’ll ever have.”
Julie reached up to the top shelf and straightened a row of books about organic gardening. “Never say never.”
“Oh, I’m definitely saying never.”
Julie blew out a breath. “Fine. Then he’s your new boy toy.”
Dixie cackled. “Boy toy? Good Lord.” “Seriously, why can’t I meet this mystery man?”
Dixie stopped stocking the shelf and looked at her. “Sweetie, it’s nothing serious. We’re just getting to know each other. When you get my age, you don’t get too attached.”
“That’s sad, Dixie. You should look forward to a long and wonderful life.”
She smiled. “I do, hon. I love this life I live.”
Julie hugged her. “And you deserve an amazing second love story in your life.”
“I didn’t say anything about love,” she chided.
“Fine. I’ll leave you alone about it… for now,” Julie said with a wink.
The door chimed, and Julie looked up to see Christian walking in. He looked tired, almost beat down, and it worried Julie the moment she saw him.
“Hey, Christian. Are you okay?”
He shrugged his shoulders. “I’m sorry to bother you both while you’re working.”
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