That Wedding

Book 2: That Boy

by Jillian Dodd

Genres: YA Contemporary Romance; Young adult; Friendship; Sagas; Romance; Contemporary Romance; American Romance; New Adult Romance; Romantic Comedy; Small-town Romance; Sports Romance; YA Contemporary; YA Family; YA Social Themes; YA Coming of Age; YA Romance

Synopsis

The gorgeous engagement ring on my finger mimics my happiness.

I feel so sparkly, glittery, and full of promise, because I absolutely know he's that boy.

The boy I want to marry. My prince. My happily ever after.

But then our pastor starts asking lots of questions.

His parents say I haven't dealt with my past. 

I have horrible wedding disaster dreams.

I can't find the perfect dress.

I have to manipulate him to get my way.

An old boyfriend asks me to run away with him.

My best friend says I'm going to ruin everything.

And forever starts to sound like a really long time.

Which totally freaks me out and makes me question everything I know.

Should best friends get married? 

Will my past affect our relationship?

Are my horrible dreams a warning?

Will I ever find a dress?

Could his sexiness be clouding my judgment?

Am I going to ruin everything?

Or is it just a case of cold feet?

And then I have to decide. Am I willing to give up on true love forever, or am I going to listen to my heart and marry him?

Release date: January 7, 2014

Publisher: Swoonworthy Books

Print pages: 460

Sample

Saturday, September 9th

My favorite part of the whole night.

 

Phillip’s holding my hand, leading me toward the hotel elevator. We just left our engagement party. I still can’t believe I’m engaged to Phillip Mackenzie, the boy I’ve known forever.

As we step into an empty elevator, Phillip inserts a key and presses the number for the top floor. I’m about to say something, but before I can, he has me pinned into the corner. 

I start to laugh, but my laugh is smothered when he kisses me deeply. 

I forget what I was about to say. It’s hard to concentrate when his hands are running up my dress. The elevator dings, and the doors open, but Phillip doesn’t stop kissing me.

“Um, Phillip, where are we going?”

“Maybe I have a few more surprises,” he says slyly.

“I think I’ve had enough surprises for one day,” I tease.

He scoops me up and carries me out of the elevator. 

“Phillip, put me down. You’re not supposed to carry me over the threshold until our wedding night. You’ll jinx us!”

He doesn’t put me down, but he stops and looks at me seriously. “Are you really gonna marry me?”

“Yeah, I think so. I said yes. Twice.” I wrap my arms around his neck. I really don’t want him to put me down.

He wrinkles his nose at me. “You also said no at least four times.”

I stick out my tongue at him. “What did you expect? You asked me to marry you on our first date. I’m sorry, but that was a bit of a shock. Are you going to put me down?”

“Nope.”

“Phillip …”

He leans his face in close to mine. “I’m carrying you into the bedroom, not over the threshold.” 

The simple mention of Phillip and me in a bedroom sends flames blazing through my body.

“The bedroom is good,” I whisper. 

He slides in the key card, opens the door to the suite, kicks the door shut with his foot, and carries me past the gorgeous living room and straight into the bedroom.

I eye the king-size bed. The fluffy comforter is turned down. There are chocolates on the pillows. I can’t wait to dive in. 

Phillip carries me past the bed. 

“Hey, you skipped the bed.”

“I told you, I might have another surprise.”

“And I told you, I can’t take any more surprises. If there’s a pastor and a wedding party in there, I swear, I’m running the other direction. I’m not marrying you tonight.”

He chuckles. “I should’ve thought of that. We could be on our honeymoon right now.”

“No way I would’ve agreed to that. It’s bad enough we got engaged on our first date.”

He sets me down in front of another set of double doors and tilts his head at me. “It’s bad?”

“You know what I mean—not bad, just really weird.” 

He loops his arm around my shoulders. “Open the doors. Trust me.”

Of course I trust Phillip. He’s been my best friend my whole entire life. Plus, based on the room’s layout, this has got to be the door to the bathroom. I sling open the double doors and step into a marble room ablaze with varying sizes of flickering candles. There’s a huge roman tub in the corner, full of water with rose petals floating across the surface.

I turn around and grin at him. “This might be my favorite part of the whole night.”

“I thought it might be. I figured, if you said yes, we’d need a little time to relax after the party.”

“And if I had said no?”

“I could’ve just come up here and drowned myself,” he says with a laugh. 

He grabs me and has me dangling above the tub before I can scream, “Don’t you dare!” 

Phillip’s been picking me up and throwing me into pools and lakes ever since he got strong enough to do it. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” he says as he pretends to drop me. 

I’m pretending to be horrified, but really, all I keep thinking about is how strong Phillip is. How I love the way he makes me feel. 

But I have to tease him. “We know what would happen if you dropped me in. I’d get out and take you down. Show you that you’re not as tough as you think you are.” 

“Why do you think I always threw you in? You’d get out of the pool, chase me down, and jump on top of me. It was kinda hot.”

I laugh at him. “You’re being bad, Phillip, but I kinda like it.” 

Phillip is so damn cute. He was always an adorable boy, but the older he’s gotten, the sexier he’s gotten. His short brown hair, that adorable smile, the deep brown eyes with their golden flecks, and that sexy voice. I don’t think there’s anything I don’t love about Phillip.

I wrap my arm around his neck and pull him into a long, delicious kiss. “Plus, you’d ruin the dress.”

“That’d be a shame. You look amazing in this dress, but I bet it’d look even better off.” He sets me down and slowly unzips the back of my dress. “I really thought you were gonna say no at the party even though you said yes earlier.”

“I was gonna say no.” 

Phillip’s hands glide up my back. He slides the dress off my shoulders, which makes it hard for me to remember why I said no. I’m pretty sure whatever question he asked me right now, the answer would be yes. 

“I’m really glad you said yes,” he says as his lips graze my shoulder.

God, he’s adorable. 

“I’m glad I said yes, too. Can you believe we’re gonna get married? Can you believe Pastor John told me we need couples’ counseling?”

He turns me around to face him, kisses my neck, and unhooks my strapless bra. It drops to the floor. He cups my face in his hands. “He’s probably right. You do need counseling, and the first thing we’re going to counsel you on is, how you should always say yes to me. Do you have any idea how crushed I was when you slammed the ring into my hand and marched away?”

I instantly feel bad. Bad that I could make Phillip even a teeny bit sad. “You know, even if I had said no, it wouldn’t have been because I didn’t wanna marry you. I just thought maybe it was too soon to get engaged.” I grab both of his hands, hold them tight, and look into his eyes. “Phillip, I’m sorry.” 

“For what?”

“For Cancun. For tonight. I love you. I’d never do anything to hurt you on purpose. I just …”

“It’s okay. I got so excited and caught up in planning it that I didn’t stop to think about how crazy it sounded.” 

“Are you changing your mind? Do you wish you hadn’t proposed?” 

“No, this is exactly where I wanna be.”

“In a bathroom with me practically naked?” I ask with a laugh. 

He leans down and strips off my thong. 

“Make that completely naked.”

He wraps his strong arms around me. “With you. Naked is just a bonus. Get in.” He holds my hand to help me into the warm, fragrant water. 

I lean my back against the tub to relax, but then I notice Phillip’s taking off his shirt. I watch raptly. I’ve seen Phillip’s chest a million times—he and Danny were always running around with no shirts on—but it still takes my breath away. Especially now that I know exactly what it feels like. Now that I’ve run my hands across his abs, felt his weight on top of me, and massaged every square inch of it. I used to rub his back when we were just friends. Even then, I loved feeling every muscle, every curve, but now, all I can think is how hot he looks and how lucky I am. All of a sudden, the bath feels ten times warmer, my face feels flushed, and other parts of me seem to heat up as well. 

“I thought you were gonna say no. What changed your mind?” 

“I was gonna say no. I was really mad at you. I couldn’t believe you sprang that on me. We’d just agreed to kinda keep it a secret. Then, boom! You tell me we’re at our surprise engagement party, and everyone knows!”

He chuckles. “You were really pissed. You even cut my hand with the ring.”

My eyes get big. “I did?” 

He walks over and holds his hand up. Shows me a teeny little scratch. “My war wound,” he says in a very fake pathetic voice.

I grab his hand and kiss the scratch.

“So, what made you change your mind?” he asks.

I am about to answer, but then he unbuckles his belt. I watch his slacks fall to the ground and then his boxers. All I can do is stare at his beautiful body.

“You’re totally checking me out, aren’t you?” he says, busting me. 

“Maybe.”

He does a few silly bodybuilder poses. His muscles ripple across his broad chest. He’s being goofy, but he’s naked. 

Which makes me feel very serious.

He slides into the tub with me. I lean back against him as he absentmindedly cups water in his hand and pours it down my chest. 

I sigh. Close my eyes. This must be what heaven feels like.

“You’re avoiding the question.”

“What question?” 

Did he ask me a question?

“I asked what made you change your mind. You haven’t told me yet.”

“You distracted me with nakedness.”

“I’ll have to remember that. Seriously, tell me.”

“When I was looking out into the crowd, telling them I said no, I saw you standing there. You looked sad. You weren’t even looking at me. You were staring down at my ring.”

“Go on,” he says. 

He runs his hands down both my arms. I close my eyes again. 

“Then, I wondered what you would do after I said no. Like, would you still date me? Would you give up on us forever? And, just as I was about to say no again, I spotted Danny and Lori. My mind flashed back to when we were walking home after their big engagement. Do you remember how you asked me if I’d ever want to be surprised like that in front of a bunch of people?”

“I do remember. Why do you think I did it? You said you thought it would be amazing to know a guy had planned all of that just for you.”

“I realized that. That’s when I knew I had to say yes. I realized you had done it all for me. The three-dozen roses, sending me to the spa with your sister, the gorgeous dress, all the charms, the limo, the scavenger hunt, the ring, the party—all of it. I still can’t believe you did all that. Planned it all out.”

“I was trying to impress you. Did it work? Do you like the ring?”

I pull my hand out of the warm water and hold it in front of us. The diamonds sparkle. It looks the way I feel—sparkly, glittery, full of promise. “The ring was a slam dunk.”

“You seemed shocked that I’d kept the drawing of your dream ring.”

“I was shocked. What made you keep it?”

“When you looked at the other jewelry, Danny ripped the drawing off the pad, threw it at me, and said, ‘You’d better save this; you’ll need it someday.’”

“Did you laugh at him?”

“Not really. I hoped he was right. We’d had a conversation about you a couple of months before that. You asked me to your winter formal.”

“I remember wishing you were my real date, not just my friend.”

“I felt the same way. Then, you came to my spring formal with me, remember?”

“Yeah, but we went as friends. Again.”

“Danny chewed me out about that. Said I was a chicken for not asking you for real. Got me to admit I was in love with you.”

“So, you kept the drawing and had the ring made. It is my dream ring, but it was just that, Phillip. A dream. You spent way too much on this. On the ring, the party, all of it.”

He lowers his voice and whispers into my neck as he’s kissing it, “I’d spend everything I had on you.” Then, he laughs and runs his hand across his eyebrow. “Actually, I pretty much did. I might have to live with you now.”

“You have been living with me.”

“I’ve been spending the night with you.”

“Are you trying to guilt me into letting you live with me? I know you live at your parents’ for free.”

“Yeah, but it’s not as much fun there as it is at your place. Speaking of that, I think we should go see if that bed’s as comfortable as it looks.” 

We get out of the tub and quickly dry off. When he picks me up and carries me into the bedroom, I’m pretty sure I know exactly what kind of fun he’s referring to.

 

Sunday, September 10th 

Sparkly, gooey, and magical.

 

We eventually have to leave the cozy cocoon of our hotel suite and get back to reality. Reality starts with our usual Sunday night dinner at the Mackenzie house. I’ve been to many Sunday night dinners there. I grew up next door to them, and Mr. Mac and my dad were fraternity brothers and best friends. I’ve always been close to them, but when my parents were killed in a car accident my senior year of high school, they pretty much made me one of their own. I don’t know what I would’ve done without them or the Diamonds.

Still, I’m nervous for dinner.

I’m officially going to marry their son, and I know it sounds odd, but I feel like I need to make a good impression. So, I put on a pair of dark jeans, a new flouncy pale peach top with rosettes at the neck, and a pair of silver heels. 

I look romantic and happy.

Now, I see why Lori started trying to set me up with Phillip as soon as she got engaged to Danny. She felt all sparkly, gooey, and magical, and she wanted her friends to feel that way, too.

I get it now. 

I feel pretty sparkly, and I cannot stop looking at the sparkle on my finger during the drive over.

But, when we get there, Mrs. Mac doesn’t seem to notice my sparkle, how I’m dressed, or how Phillip keeps being quite naughty and running his hand dangerously high up my thigh under the kitchen table.

No. 

Mrs. Mac is focused on one thing. 

Which is good because I can’t seem to focus on anything other than the fact that, if Phillip doesn’t stop it, I’m going to drag him up to his bedroom and show him exactly how I feel about him.

Oh, sorry, where was I? 

Oh, yes, I was saying, Mrs. Mac is focused on one thing.

And that thing is wedding planning. 

Seriously? We’ve been engaged for, what? Twenty-two hours! And she’s ready to start planning? 

I mean, I’m still in shock that I’m even dating Phillip, let alone engaged to the boy. 

Isn’t there some kind of engagement buffer? Where you get a few days, weeks, months to get used to the idea before people start bombarding you with questions about an event you’re totally not mentally prepared to deal with?

The answer to that question is apparently not because she’s already prepared a wedding spreadsheet of some kind. Not surprising really since she probably has to make a spreadsheet before she can do laundry to make sure she does it in the proper order. To say this woman is organized is a supreme understatement.

She hands it to me, and I scan it. 

Looks pretty typical. Once we figure out when we want to get married, then we’ll be happy to use her list and start planning. 

But I’m not in any hurry to get married. 

We need to date for a while first. 

Ashley, Phillip’s sister, says, “So, JJ, I would recommend you start by picking a theme and your colors.”

“A theme?” What is this, a frat party? “What kind of wedding theme?”

“Oh, wow,” she says. “There are so many things you could do. You could have it black tie, casual, country, or beachy. Fairy-tale weddings are big right now. You could do, like, a fall wedding or even a Halloween wedding!”

“A Halloween wedding! Like a black-and-orange wedding? How fun would that be? We could have people dress up and hand out candy!” I laugh. Ha! “Phillip, did you hear that? We could get married on Halloween! We could just have people ring the doorbell and stand outside, and we could get married in the entryway. We could be all dressed up and then go out and get candy for our reception! Our favors could be dozens of eggs, forks, Fruity Pebbles, and toilet paper!”

“PHILLIP DAVID Mackenzie!” Mrs. Mac yells. She squints her eyes and gives him the mom glare. “You told me you had nothing to do with the Robertsons’ house that Halloween.”

“What Halloween?” he asks innocently.

“The year their whole sidewalk was covered in Fruity Pebbles. Then, it rained, and the color stained their sidewalk. We thought it was never going to come off! You swore to me that you had nothing to do with it!”

Phillip scrunches up his nose and laughs. “What are you gonna do, Mom? Ground me? Besides, I was in charge of the forks, not the Fruity Pebbles.” He gives me a pointed grin, so his mom will think it was my idea.

“Jadyn!” Mrs. Mac scolds.

“Uh, so maybe a Halloween-themed wedding is a bad idea,” I say, quickly switching the conversation back to something that won’t get us in trouble. 

Besides, the Fruity Pebbles was all Danny’s idea, but we won’t mention that. Knowing Mrs. Mac, she’d be calling his mom. 

Ashley continues, “Well, you could do winter wonderland or, like, a down-home country-style wedding. Some people even have Nebraska-themed weddings. You both love football; maybe you should do something like that.”

“I do love football, but I don’t think I’d want that for my wedding.”

“So, what do you want?” Phillip’s mom asks.

“I have no idea. I got surprise engaged on my first date less than twenty-four hours ago. I really haven’t gotten that far yet.” They both stare at me like I’m nuts, so I’m like, “Phillip, what kind of wedding do you want?”

“Um …” he says eloquently. “I don’t know. The kind that involves us getting married?” 

Mrs. Mac and Ashley both roll their eyes at him in that he’s just a man; what could he possibly know way.

“JJ, have you seriously never pictured your wedding? Every little girl dreams of her wedding day,” Ashley admonishes.

Gee, apparently, I’m a failure as a girl. 

All I ever dreamed about was marrying a prince, but that was really as far as I got. To me, it was all about finding the right boy. I guess I sorta thought, once you found the guy, the wedding would just sort of fall into place.

I mean, think of Cinderella. The whole story was about her and Prince Charming’s courtship. It’s only at the very end that the wedding bells ring, birds fly, and they kiss. No one asked Cinderella what kind of themed wedding she wanted. The wedding just happened.

Didn’t it?

I know most of my sorority sisters have planned out their ideal weddings. I listened, thought they sounded amazing, and encouraged them. But my wedding seemed so far off that I never really thought about what I’d want. Plus, you have to remember, my two best friends are Phillip and Danny. 

Boys.

I can tell you with all certainty that they never once stood around the pool table, planning their dream weddings. The only real discussions we ever had about weddings involved Danny praying some girl wasn’t pregnant, so he wouldn’t have to marry her. 

“Uh,” I say, “honestly, not really. We used to have weddings for Barbie and Ken, but those mostly involved a wedding in front of Phillip’s Lego castle. They’d drive off in her Barbie Jeep and then have a Barbie baby. And, sometimes, they would go on a honeymoon to the blow-up Barbie pool where they would kiss, swim, and get their hair wet. Oh!” I giggle. “And, sometimes, instead of Ken, she would marry G.I. Joe.” 

“Bigamy Barbie,” Phillip quips as he sets a beer down in front of me. 

“That’s true, but you loved when she married Joe. You’d make him jump out of a plane or rappel down the wall, and then they’d get married. Joe always made a big entrance. It was all very exciting. Ken was sort of boring, but he was there for her when Joe went off to, I don’t know, fight in wars and stuff.”

Phillip laughs. 

I can’t help but laugh, too. We had so much fun when we were kids. “She also married Robin Hood. So, she was more like Trigamy Barbie,” I tell Phillip.

“Trigamy?” Ash questions.

“Uh, maybe trigonometry?” I stupidly say.

“Oh my gosh.” Phillip chuckles. “Are you both blonde or what?”

“Well then, what would it be called?” 

“Polygamy.”

“No, that’s when you have many spouses. What’s it called when you have just three, like Barbie did? It would have to be trigamy. Really, that’s kind of a good idea. Like, I could marry Ken because he was pretty and would provide a good gene pool for kids. Then, there’s G.I. Joe. He’d, like, show up whenever, you’d have wild sex with him, and then he’d be off again on some mission. And Robin Hood would take you on adventures. I think Barbie was on to something. She really did have the perfect life.”

“Except when she got pregnant and didn’t know if it was Ken or Joe’s baby,” Ash says sarcastically. 

“Like Barbie would’ve had a big dilemma over that one. You know she would’ve just told Ken it was his baby. He wouldn’t have known the difference. Ken looked good, but I don’t think he was all that smart. But he’d be a good dad and stay home and take care of the kids while she was off with Joe or Robin.” That’s not a bad idea. “Hey, Phillip, can I have three husbands, too?”

“Hmm, I don’t think so.” He grins and shakes his head.

Ashley rolls her eyes. “So, are you saying you want a Barbie-themed wedding?”

Uh, no. I might not know much, but I do know a hot-pink Barbie wedding is not for me. 

It seems the theme of tonight’s dinner is for us to pick a theme. I swear, if they don’t lay off, pretty soon, my theme is gonna be I don’t give a damn.

Thank God the oven buzzer goes off, meaning we finally get to eat. And here’s what I want to know: why aren’t they asking Phillip these questions? He’s the one who was so bound and determined to get engaged. I just want to have fun sleeping with him for a while.

 

Mrs. Mac falls back a little during dinner, but apparently, it’s not a full retreat because, after dinner, she sits us down in front of apple pie and questions us. 

I told you before that she feeds you and gets you to spill your guts. That woman is sneaky. 

Phillip’s as clueless as I am on the whole theme thing, so he tells his mom, “I have no freaking idea.” Then, he ditches me and takes his pie into the family room to watch football with his dad and Ash’s husband, Cooper.

But Mrs. Mac will not be deterred. She gets up and grabs a large stack of the thickest magazines known to man. 

Bridal magazines. 

They practically break through the wooden table when she slams the stack down in front of me. Thankfully, I got my hands out of the way. 

“I went through and marked everything I like in yellow,” she tells me.

“And I marked everything I like in blue,” Ashley adds. 

When did these people find time to go through these monstrosities? If I tried to sit on the couch at home and flip through these, I’d make it all of about twelve pages before Phillip attacked me. Sex has been taking up a lot of our time lately.

Mrs. Mac continues in her sweet, if you do this for me, I will bake you cookies voice. “So, just flip through all the magazines and mark stuff you like. Then, we’ll help you figure out a theme. So, what are you thinking for a date?”

“We haven’t discussed dates yet, but I’m pretty sure we’re going to have a very long engagement. Like, maybe a couple of years. We really don’t need to start planning yet.” 

She gives me a little sigh. I see my opportunity to get away, so I grab the magazines and go sit in the family room. She’s still staring at me, so I pretend to look interested and flip through a few pages. But, really, I’m looking at Phillip, who’s sitting in his favorite chair, finishing his second piece of pie. He looks so adorable that I almost wish I had two of him. 

That reminds me … 

I grab my phone and look up the word trigamy. And I’m right! There is a word that means married to three people. 

I glance over to Phillip and say, “It’s trigamous.” 

“Cool,” he says, not really listening because he’s very into the game and his pie. He practically licks the plate and then turns to me with a grin. “So, you were wrong?” 

“I was closer to right than you were. That’s all I care about.” I give him a sassy little smile.

He grabs me off the couch, pulls me onto his lap, and starts kissing me. 

Why is it kinda funny that this boy, who managed to keep his hands off me for years, cannot seem to control those hands anymore? I’m a little embarrassed by this. We’re in the middle of his family room, and everyone can see us! I cut the kiss short, but he won’t let me get off his lap, so I get cozy, watch the game, and forget all about wedding planning.

 

My cell buzzes on the side table. 

Phillip grabs it, says, “Danny,” and hands me it. 

“Hey, what’s up?”

“How about, tomorrow will be my first start as a freaking pro quarterback? Can you believe it?” 

One of the first things Danny told me when he moved next door in fifth grade was that he was a great quarterback. I remember telling him he was a bragger. He told me that he wasn’t bragging; he was just confident in his skills. Turns out, he was right about that since he went on to be a state champion in high school, got recruited to play for Nebraska, won the national championship his senior year, came in second in the Heisman race, and won every quarterback award there was. He went on to be the second pick in the draft. 

Last week, the starting quarterback got a concussion, so Danny finished the game. With his blond hair, dreamy blue eyes, killer body, and good-old-boy attitude, he’s also quickly becoming the poster boy for hot quarterbacks everywhere. His pro jersey, with Diamond across the back, became their hottest-selling jersey before he ever stepped foot on their field. He’s making his first professional start tomorrow in a Monday Night Football game.

“Yeah, I can believe it. I’ve always believed in you, and I’m so excited I get to be there!”

“Jay, you have always believed in me. I should probably thank you for that.”

“Yeah, you should!”

“Remember my freshman year in college?”

I laugh. “I do. You thought it sucked.” 

“Well, it did! I was the big man in high school. State champion winner. MVP. First team, all-state. Five-star recruit. Then, I went to college and nothing. I got freaking redshirted. I guess I just figured it would stay easy, be like high school.”

“Danny, you know as well as I do that it didn’t come easy in high school. Yeah, you were better than most kids, so it looked easy, but those of us who knew you knew how much time you devoted to working out, how many freaking passes Phillip and I caught for you, all the times you stayed after practice, the camps, all of it. You’ve always worked for it. Are you nervous? Are you comparing this to your freshman year?”

“I might be a little nervous. I’ve moved up a level. What if I can’t compete?”

“You already competed on that level when you finished the game last week. You did awesome. You’ll do awesome.”

“You know, I still visualize us playing in the empty lot between our houses before every game, and that pic of you two is hanging in my locker.”

“That’s so cool.”

“My priorities are different now. I have an amazing wife, and pretty soon, we’ll have a baby. But, when I’m out there in a game, I play because it’s fun. Because I love it.”

“I know, Danny.”

“The guys have been giving me all kinds of crap about the picture though. They want to meet this flag-bikini girl. They’ve also been making up funny stories about you two. Like, Phillip’s my gay lover. You’re my mistress. You’re the one who got away. You’re a Vegas hooker. Some think I don’t even know you. Like, I found the pic of you both going up for a pass on the internet or something. One of these days, I might tell them the truth, but for now, their wild guesses are kinda fun.”

“So … Daaaannyyy Diamoooond! Are you ready for some football—a Monday night partyyyyy?” I exaggeratedly sing the Monday Night Football anthem. 

“We’ll see,” he tells me. “We’ll see.”

 

Monday, September 11th

In a blaze of glory.

 

We’re driving to Kansas City for the game and listening to sports radio. There’s a lot of speculation that Mark Conway’s football career is over due to concussions and that he’s going to retire soon.

If it’s true, I’ll be happy for Danny, but I feel bad, too. I wouldn’t want Danny to go out that way, having a concussion end his career. I want him to go out in a blaze of glory. He needs confetti raining down on him, fans cheering him, raising the Super Bowl trophy over his head for the third time when he announces his retirement. 

Danny calls me. He must really be nervous. 

“Hey, what’s up?” 

“Do you remember that day after prom, how we talked in the hammock?” he asks.

“Of course. That was the day you told me, if we dated, it would ruin our friendship.”

“Do you remember what you told me?”

“Not really.” I don’t remember exactly what all I said that day. 

“You told me that I had greatness in me. That I was doing what I always wanted and what I was meant to do.”

“Oh, yeah, the football talk. I remember that. I thought you were talking about what I said about us. You know, when you broke my heart.”

Danny laughs. “We both know I did not break your heart.”

“I still say you did. Ahhh, the one who got away.” 

I giggle and wink at Phillip. He rolls his eyes at me.

“Jay, back to football.”

“Oh, sorry.”

“Do you remember after we lost the Texas game? I’d had those two interceptions, and the press—who the week before had thought I was the second coming of Christ himself—threw me under the bus and decided I was overrated?”

“Yeah, I remember. It sucked.”

“You told me that it didn’t look like I was having fun out there. That, when I stopped having fun, the whole team did, too. I remember yelling at you. Because how could I have had fun when I was either getting sacked or running for my life? But, when I watched the game film, I realized you were right. When I’d started falling apart, the team had come with me. You told me I was like the captain of a sinking ship. That, if I let the water get to me, it would get to my crew, too. That I needed to be the leader. Tell them it didn’t matter, that the water was good for the boat, and we were gonna make it to land. You told me I had to lead my offense, be the calm in the storm. That, if I wasn’t confident, they wouldn’t be either.”

“Wow! I was really supportive, and apparently, I’m quite brilliant at motivational sports analogies. I should totally be on ESPN.”

Phillip chuckles in the seat next to me.

Danny laughs, too. “Don’t get too puffed up. You also used to say, ‘Screw it. It’s just a game.’ Tell Phillip he gets points for making me go in the backyard and toss around the football.”

“I’ll tell him, but only if I get bonus points for taking you to the bar.”

“I’m not sure that was the smartest thing.”

“So, why are you calling? You need a little pregame pep talk?” 

“Maybe.”

“Hmm, okay. I still believe what I said back then. You were born for this, and you’re exactly where you belong. You can perform under pressure like no one else can.”

Phillip bursts out laughing, but that’s because his mind’s in the gutter.

Danny says, “I like it so far,” but then he bursts out laughing, too, and is like, “although that last part sounded a bit sexual. Has Lori been telling you how amazing I am in bed?”

“Uh, no,” I say, but then I laugh again. “Well, maybe I’ve heard a little, but you know what I mean. I’m talking defensive pressure, which I don’t think you’ll have much of tonight because you have an offensive line most quarterbacks would give their left nuts for.”

“True.”

“So, Daniel-son,” I tease.

“Oh boy, movie references. You aren’t gonna start telling me to wax on, wax off, are you?”

“No, I have a better one. Remember the old movie Iron Eagle? Where that kid flies a fighter plane to go rescue his dad?”

“Yeaaah.”

“Your offensive line is like his plane. They’re going to protect you. You’re the iron eagle that can’t be brought down, can’t be stopped. You’ll hold your ground. You’ll scramble. You will not take a sack.”

“That’s pretty good. I like it.” 

“Good, ’cause, after you win tonight and the reporters are all like, Oh, Daaaannyyy, you’re so ah-maaazing, I expect you to say, I owe it all to Jay.”

Danny chuckles. “That’s why I love you. See ya after the game.”

 

We’re at the stadium. I was so excited that I packed a ton of tailgating food and lots to drink. The Diamonds came, too, but didn’t bring the RV, and they’re kicking themselves because Lori has to pee a lot. Mrs. Diamond says pregnant women always have to pee. She was gushing on about how Lori’s glowing. And she is. Lori is beautiful, but her strawberry-blonde hair looks thicker, her cheeks look slightly flushed, and although she’s still her normal, skinny self, she looks just a little fuller. Sexier. She looks amazing.

We drink beer in front of her, but I feel funny, doing shots. I don’t want her to feel left out. So, not bringing the RV turned out to be a blessing in disguise because, while she’s waiting in line to use the Porta Potties, I get out the Jägermeister, which is a good thing because I’m probably more nervous about Danny starting than Danny is.

 

We get to our seats early, so we won’t miss a thing. I’m expecting our conversation to be about the game. But the topic is not Danny’s starting, the fun tailgating, the 9/11 memorial silence, the blimp, the roar of the crowd, the gorgeous weather, or the stealth bomber flyover. The topic Lori wants to discuss is my wedding.

She questions me, “So, how do you want your wedding to be?”

“I just want it to be nice. Pretty flowers, a pretty dress, a fun party. I love parties.”

She rolls her eyes at me. “Yes, we all know you love partying, Jade. But this is your wedding. It’s not supposed to be some drunkfest. Although how about a New Year’s Eve wedding? Confetti, hats, noisemakers—and I won’t be a moose yet.”

“I like the idea, but that’s way too soon! We’re going to have a long engagement.”

“So, have you set a date?”

“No. You were at our party. We’ve been engaged for two days. Why does everyone keep asking me that? It makes my head hurt!”

Phillip leans over and whispers in my ear, “Or maybe it’s the Jäger.” He pats my back and says, “I think we’re gonna need a few more beers here.”

He runs to get beer while Lori continues talking, “I’m not trying to pressure you, but we’re thinking about taking a babymoon. I was trying to figure out when would be a good time to go …”

What the heck is a babymoon? 

I am gonna interrupt her and ask, but she keeps talking, “And I know you haven’t asked me yet, but I assume I’ll be your maid of honor.”

“Matron of honor,” I remind her. “You’re married.”

“Oh gosh. Matron? Really? That makes me sound so old. There needs to be a different name for that. We need to come up with something. Like, you could really hurt people’s feelings with those labels. I’m married, yes. But I’m not matronly, and I don’t want to be a matron. And what about the poor woman who’s thirty-five and never been married? Are you going to call her a maid of honor? You might as well call her an old maid because I’m sure that’s how it’d make her feel. We seriously need to rethink this.”

I wonder if I’m going to get a word in edgewise. Or get to watch the game.

“And here I was, stupidly thinking my wedding day was supposed to be about my and Phillip’s undying love.”

“Oh, hush,” she says. “Don’t be such a whiner.”

I stand up and cheer loudly. Danny just made a great pass, and they’ve moved the ball down to the red zone. 

“I promise to okay my date with you before we make it official. Now, what the heck is a babymoon?”

“It’s a vacation that you and your husband go on before the baby’s born. It’s time to relax and connect while it’s still just the two of you.”

“That sounds like a vacation.” 

“Yes, Jade, it is a vacation,” she says with a sigh. “They just call it a babymoon because of the timing. I mean, a honeymoon is just a vacation, too.”

“Yeah, I suppose. Can we please watch the game now?”

 

The game was so exciting. It was a purely offensive battle. Danny played really well and threw for over three hundred yards. It was back-and-forth scoring. You could tell it was going to come down to who had the ball last. Unfortunately, it was the other team. We lost by a field goal with only three seconds on the clock. Bummer.

 

We were supposed to stay at Danny and Lori’s, but they’re remodeling their house, and it sounds like it’s a disaster right now. Mr. and Mrs. Diamond are staying there since one of the guest rooms is done, but we didn’t want to stress Lori any more or have to sleep on the couch, so we got a hotel. 

Phillip pulls me down on the bed. “Do we need to start talking about wedding stuff? My mom seems to think we do, and I heard Lori asking you about it.”

“Eventually, we do. I guess it depends on when we wanna get married.”

“I’d marry you right now if I could,” he says while running his hands through my hair. 

“Awww, Phillip.” I give him a big smooch. “I know everyone thinks we need to start, but I think we need to take our time. Enjoy this. Lori told me tonight that she’s going to be my special bridesmaid and when I could and couldn’t have the wedding.”

Phillip laughs and says quietly, “Control freak.”

I laugh, too, and then I say, “I’m still seriously in shock that we’re even engaged! It sorta feels like a dream. If it wasn’t for this ring on my finger, I don’t know if I’d even believe it happened.” 

Phillip gets a naughty look on his face. “A dream, huh?” He quickly pins me down on the bed. “Oh, Princess, you’re definitely awake. Maybe I need to remind you of that.” 

He reminds me by recklessly kissing me and pulling off my shirt.

 

Later, we’re lying here, exhausted and grinning at each other. 

“Still feel like a dream?” he asks. 

He’s slowly running his fingertips up and down my leg, which makes me kinda feel like I’m in a dream. “Yeah,” I say, “a hot, sexy one.”

“Okay, so I saw you were flipping through the bridal magazines Mom gave you. Did you see anything you liked?” 

“Phillip, the game was on. Do you really think I was looking at them? I was just flipping to make her happy.”

“I heard Ash say we need a wedding theme. What does she mean? Like the frat parties we used to have? Like a boats and hos wedding?” 

“Not funny, but, yeah, I guess. Really, I have no idea what she means. I’m pretty sure all the weddings we’ve been to have just had a color scheme, not a theme.”

“Your favorite colors are turquoise, orange, and purple. Those going to be our colors?” 

“They sound awful together. Turquoise might be pretty though. What color would you want?”

He kisses the top of my forehead. “Doesn’t matter. This wedding is all about you.” 

“No, it’s not! Hey, don’t think you’re gonna get out of helping me plan by saying that. This wedding—if we even have one,” I tease, “is going to be all about us.”

“I like us.”

“You wanna talk about colors and wedding themes all night?”

“No, I think I can come up with something a little more fun than that,” he says. He rolls on top of me, kisses me, and makes me forget about weddings again.

 

 

Wednesday, September 13th

Planning a wedding sounds like no fun.

 

I’m back at work. Thankfully, my boss is a huge Danny Diamond fan and let me take off a few days to go see his first game. Okay, so I had to bribe him with an autographed football, but whatever works. 

So far, the day has been a disaster. It’s bad enough, trying to get caught up, but now, I’m frantic because the blueprints I sent with a courier first thing this morning have still not arrived at their destination. I’ve wasted so much time trying to track them down. 

My phone rings, and I stupidly don’t look at the caller ID before I say, “Jadyn Reynolds,” because I assume it’s the messenger service.

I hear Mrs. Mac’s voice. “JJ, we really need to have a wedding-planning meeting. Do you realize all that has to be done? Even if you don’t want to get married for a year or more, we’ve got to get started. I’m assuming, by now, you’ve had a chance to go through the bridal magazines and mark the things you like?”

“Uh, not really yet. We went to Danny’s game, and I’m at the end of a project at work. It’s, like, crunch time, and you know Phillip has been super busy at work, too. In fact, we’re both working late tonight.”

She doesn’t get the answer she wants to hear, so she snarls, “Fine. You have homework. I want you to go through the magazines I gave you and flag everything you like. And tell my son that he needs to go through them with you. Bring them to the house Saturday morning.” 

I say gently, “Um, that probably won’t work because we’re going to a game-day party.”

She huffs at me and sounds a little pissed. “Fine. Be here early for dinner on Sunday. Let’s say three o’clock. And tell Phillip to jot down ideas as well—never mind, I’ll tell him. Oh, I’m also supposed to remind you that Pastor John wants you to call him right away. Something about couples’ counseling.”

I get off the phone and am like, Homework and couples’ counseling? 

Seriously? 

Planning a wedding sounds like no fun.

 

 

Thursday, September 14th

All that’s on that boy’s mind lately.

 

I had to work late again tonight, but when I get home, Phillip is waiting with Chinese takeout and a bottle of wine. 

It even has a cork and everything. 

He greets me with a kiss and opens the wine. “So, I talked to Lori about wedding-planning stuff the other day. She told me about a show called My Fair Wedding. She says it’s all about themed weddings and that the wedding planner, David Tutera, is amazing. That he can take the tackiest themes ever and turn them into something beautiful. I recorded a few, so we can watch them tonight while we eat.”

“Watching TV sounds perfect. I’m tired, stressed, and starved. I didn’t even get time for lunch today!”

We spread our feast across the coffee table, sit on the floor, eat, and watch a couple of shows. 

And, wow! Lori was right. He can take the tackiest theme and make it amazing. 

Maybe I need a wedding planner. 

Phillip flicks off the TV, and we talk about possible themes for our wedding. Most of the couples had a reason for their theme. We talked about the swings, football, princesses, and Barbie. None of them seemed right.

But, pretty soon, the food is mostly gone, the wine is completely gone, and wedding themes seem to be the last thing on Phillip’s mind.

He leads me into the bedroom, throws me on the bed, and pounces on me. I have a fleeting thought that maybe our theme should be sex because that seems to be all that’s on that boy’s mind lately.

 

I’m happily sprawled across Phillip’s body when I joke, “I think our wedding theme might have to be sex.”

“A XXX wedding?” Phillip asks.

We get silly, talking about ideas for our XXX-themed wedding. 

David Tutera would be hyperventilating!

“I know.” I giggle. “We could use furry handcuffs for napkin rings.”

“We could have personalized condoms as our favors!”

“Oh … listen to this! We could use those big dildos that stand up on their own, and we could, like, cut the tips.” Phillip winces when I say that. “And we could use them to hold the table numbers at the reception!”

Phillip tickles me. I giggle and tickle him back. 

“I’ll use a vibrator as the base of my bouquet! It could vibrate through the whole ceremony. Can you just picture that? Everyone’s all serious, and it’s just sitting there, shaking?”

“You’re silly,” he says. Then, he attacks my chest with kisses. “I have a better idea. We could do a Phillip and Jadyn Make a Porno video.” 

“We could show it at the reception!” I scream. 

“Maybe we should practice a few moves right now,” Phillip says sexily.

And, uh, yeah, we do. 

Practice, I mean. 

Sorry, no videos.

 

After round two, I give Phillip my pouty face.

“What’s the face for?” he asks. “We just had amazing, mind-blowing sex. Again. I even impressed myself.”

I roll my eyes at him. “I don’t know about mind-blowing.” 

I laugh, but he totally knows I’m lying. It’s really hard to lie to someone who can read your mind. And it was oh-my-gosh-scream-it-from-the-rooftops incredible. But I don’t tell him that. I don’t want him to think he’s, like, all that. He needs to keep working toward a goal or something. 

“Plus, I think you’re just using me for sex.” I try to look sad.

He laughs a huge, hearty laugh. “Yeah, I am.”

I can’t help but grin with him.

“But I’m just trying to catch up.”

“Catch up?”

“Yeah, so the sex and the friendship are even.” 

“We’ve been best friends for a really long time.”

“Yes, I know. I really do have my work cut out for me,” he jokes. “I just feel balance is important in our relationship.” Then, he says, “Speaking of that, Sunday night, when you were sitting on the kitchen island at my parents’ house, I had this flashback. Do you remember the night you were all upset about your date with that Mark guy you had a crush on? He tried to attack you before dinner, so you got pissed and made him bring you home. You came over, all upset about both him and the fact that you’d dumped Dillon because of him. Do you remember that?”

“Yeah, you were just getting home from Danny’s, and if I recall, you weren’t much help because you were tipsy and thought the whole thing was hilarious and my own fault.”

“Well, that, and all I could think about was how hot you looked, how I really didn’t blame Mark for wanting you, and how I really just wanted to do you right there on the kitchen island. I even had dreams about it. Do you remember what you wore? Lisa must have dressed you. You had on a short plaid skirt, little white blouse, a navy cardigan. You kinda looked like a naughty schoolgirl.” 

“Phillip! Your mother’s island! And you used to have naughty dreams about me?” 

“Oh, yeah. Lots of them. Good ones.” 

“Like what?”

“I don’t know. They would start off with us doing stuff we’d normally do. I never really remembered those parts, but you’d end up attacking me. Like, one time, we were sitting on the hood of my car, looking at the stars. All of a sudden, you straddled me and attacked me. It was a good dream.”

 

Friday, September 15th

A little freak out in my mind.

 

Last night, I laughed and smiled about Phillip’s dreams, but now that I’m at work, trying to focus on pulling some figures together for a budget meeting I’m about to go into, my mind is still thinking about it.

Because it’s sorta bugging me. 

I mean, shouldn’t he have attacked me in his dreams? Shouldn’t that have been his dream?

I’m about to have a little freak out in my mind when my cell vibrates.

Apparently, Phillip has shared our wedding theme with Danny, because I receive a random text. 

 

Danny:  Grooms cake = strippers jumping out!

 

Oh, wow. That’s funny!

 

Me:  Groomsmen dress like Chippendales. Meaning a tuxedo with no shirt for you!

 

Danny:  Gonna have to work on the abs some more.

 

Me:  Yeah right, what are we up to now, an eight pack?

 

Danny:  Gotta keep the core strong, baby ;)

 

Me:  Gotta meeting, gotta go.

 

I go to my project meeting. During the meeting, I keep getting texts from Danny. Nobody notices this except the guy who’s sitting next to me and is kind of a creeper. He always makes slightly sexual comments to me. He’s never crossed the line, really. He just kinda creeps me out. I can tell he’s reading my texts because he just almost burst out with a laugh. He tried to hold it in, which caused him to snort coffee up his nose and have a mini choking fit.

 

10:08

Danny:  Bridesmaids = sexy schoolgirls.

11:22

Danny:  Bridesmaids all dressed in different sexy outfits.

11:23 

Danny:  One a sexy schoolgirl, one a French maid.

11:47

Danny:   Reception = All couples swinging, provide masks for anonymity.

11:49

Danny:  Whips and chains for party favors?

 

It’s very difficult for me to concentrate during the meeting, and every time I see my phone light up, I sneak a peek and want to die laughing. Finally, we break for lunch, and although Danny’s texts have been entertaining, my mind is still on Phillip’s dreams. 

I go out to my car and call Lori. 

I need to talk about this and probably shouldn’t do it at my desk, where everyone can hear about my sex life. 

Especially the creeper.

As we were walking out of the meeting, he said, “Sounds like you have some fun when you’re not at work,” and “hmmm, I thought your fiancé’s name was Phillip. You’re a naughty girl, aren’t you?” 

And I tried hard not to gag in front of him.

 

Lori answers and I’m like, “Phillip told me he used to have naughty dreams about me.” I don’t even say hello.

But she goes with it. “And that surprises you?”

“Well, yeah, actually, it did, or I wouldn’t be calling you about it.”

“Oh, Jade. What am I going to do with you? You’re so oblivious.”

“Hey, don’t judge! I need help and advice, and I called you, but never mind.”

“Oh! You called me to ask for advice?! You never do that! You always call Danny.”

“I know, so help me!!”

She makes a little noise that lets me know she’s quite proud of this. “Oh, well, continue.” 

“Okay, so in Phillip’s dreams, I attacked him. So does that mean his subconscious thought I was hot for him and wanted to attack him, or does it mean his subconscious was hot for me and wished I would attack him, so in the dreams I did? Like, if he was hot for me, why didn’t he attack me in the dreams?”

“Does it really matter? He wanted you. He’s always wanted you, and now you have him.”

“It kinda matters to me.”

Lori sighs. “Jade, for a girl who barely gives anything she says or does a second thought, oh, my gosh, you way over-process everything in your mind when it comes to Phillip. Why don’t you put that brain to better use and start planning your wedding?”

“One, I like the boy. And two, I am working on the wedding.”

“Really?!”

“Well, sorta. We watched that show you told us about, but we also drank a whole bottle of wine, and then Phillip kinda attacked me. Lori, he’s so freaking sexy. And the sex, oh, my gosh, the sex is so . . . ”

“Jade, I thought you wanted my advice.” She is not impressed.

“I do.” 

“But you’re not gonna take it, right?”

“Well, I’m not going to forget about this, if that’s what you mean. I can’t!”

“Why does it matter?”

“I’m trying to determine why I attacked him in the dreams because I have a wild idea.” 

“Wow, now I’m really impressed you’re asking me for advice. Aren’t wild ideas, like, Danny’s specialty?”

“Yes, they are, but I called you because I’m thinking about making those dreams come true.”

This sinks in, and she says, “Oh my! As in act them out? Oh, Jade, he’ll like that!”

“Well, I hope so, but if I don’t understand the dream, it won’t be right.”

“Hmmmm, hang on. I’m gonna get Danny and put you on speaker. I actually might be in over my head on this one. We need a boy’s opinion.” 

I knew I should’ve just called him in the first place, but I’m happy I called Lori first because she seems so happy about it.

I hear Danny’s deep voice go, “What’s up, girls?”

And I’m like, “So, last night, Phillip told me that he used to have naughty dreams about me.” 

Danny says, “So? Big deal. We both did.”

“You did!?” I say.

“Well, a couple, sure. I mean, we were together all the time.” 

“Danny! Did you dream about me or lots of girls?”

“Well, duh, lots of girls.”

“Crap. Now I’m depressed. Phillip probably did too.”

Lori chimes in and explains to Danny, “Phillip told her he used to have naughty dreams about her, and I think for some reason—that reason being she’s oblivious—she was surprised by this.” 

Danny says, “Jaybaby, pretty much all Phillip’s dreams were about you.” 

“He told you about them?” Lori and I say at the same time.

“Well, yeah, some of them. We’ve always talked about everything. You know that.”

“Dang, I thought you guys told me everything too. Now I’m sad.”

“Don’t be. In high school, our dreams were certainly more exciting than what we were actually doing.”

“Danny, you did plenty of doing in high school.”

“Not really. Think about high school sex. It was: do it quick, don’t get caught, pray her parents don’t come home early, pray she doesn’t get pregnant. Not exactly dream-worthy.”

“I think Jade was considering trying to fulfill some of Phillip’s dreams,” Lori says.

“Like his fantasies? Wow, lucky guy. He’ll definitely like that.”

“Well, I was thinking about it, but now that I know he had them about other girls, I don’t know if I want to.”

Danny says, “Jay, come on, like, all his dreams were about you.”

“He told you that?” 

“Kinda, yeah.”

“So what you’re saying is that you really don’t know?”

“No, they were mostly about you. I know that because when they weren’t, and they were about, like, a Victoria’s Secret model, he would tell me. And most of the time he wouldn’t tell me who the girl was. I would ask, and he would always say, It doesn’t matter. It all makes sense now. It had to be you. So you wanna make his dreams come true, huh?”

“Yeah, but which one? If you talked about it, do you remember, did he have, like, a favorite?”

“Yes, actually, he did. It involved you and me getting it on in that little tent we used to camp in.” 

“So, it was a threesome?” I ask.

Lori says, “I can’t imagine Phillip dreaming that.”

“Oh. My. Gosh!” I say. “Is Phillip bisexual!?” 

Danny chuckles. “Oh, wait. Maybe that was my dream.”

Lori hmmphs.

I’m like, “Danny!!”

And he goes, “Ha. Ha. I’m just kidding. And, jeez, Lori, I was fourteen. Okay, so back on track here. I remember one he used to have a lot. We were at the ball field and someone attacked him on the hood of his car. Of course, that was you. Remember how the three of us used to do that? Sit there drinking my special Gatorade/vodka mixes and eating sunflower seeds? But there was also a spin the bottle one that I never really understood.”

Lori is like, “I know that one! Jade, remember when I told you it was time to play spin the bottle again?”

“Yeah.” I can’t help but smile about that. 

“Did that happen?” Danny asks.

“Kinda. Remember when Mary Beth had a crush on him, and he was in the closet with her for seven minutes of what were probably pure hell at Lisa’s fourteenth birthday party?”

“I did hear about that part. He told me he wouldn’t kiss her because she was gross and mean to you.”

“Awww, really? That’s sooo sweeeeet. Phillip’s so sweet.”

“The story, Jay?”

“Oh, yeah. So later that night, we played spin the bottle, and the bottle landed like right between Mary Beth and me. He pointed the bottle toward me, and then he kissed me. He was just trying to piss MB off. That was the last time I really kissed him until after your engagement.” 

“Makes sense now. So, Jay, did you have any dreams like that, and how many were about me?”

“I didn’t have any dreams about you like that, but I do vividly remember one I had when I was dating Jake. We were all playing football. I was mad at Phillip because he was being a jerk about something, so I accidentally-on-purpose tripped him, and we both fell down.”

“The flag bikini day?” Danny asks.

“Yeah, that’s it. I was mad because he told me he didn’t like my swimsuit. Remember how he was so pissed and was sitting on top of me?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, that happened in my dream. He leaned down to yell at me and, instead, he started kissing me and, um, doing a lot of other stuff too. You sorta disappeared.” 

“I think I did disappear that day. It looked like he was gonna do you right there in the grass. I think I told you to get a room.”

“The dream really upset me, back then.”

“Why?” both Danny and Lori ask.

“Cuz Phillip was like my brother. It was like, I don’t know, practically incestuous.” 

“Jay.”

“Well, he was, and the problem was I liked it and kept wishing I’d have the dream again. I felt very conflicted.”

Lori says, “Oh my gosh, you two were so dumb.”

Danny intercedes. “Okay, so here’s what I think. You should take him to the ball field. Wear a ball cap and those cute little braids like you used to, but sexify it. Wear something hot, like a teeny little baseball shirt with major cleavage. Well, as much as you have anyway, and some short shorts with tall socks and high heels. Get him on the hood, and then, like, straddle him, tease him a little, and then—”

“Danny!” Lori interrupts, “I think we all get the idea.”

“Oh, dang. Sorry.”

“Danny, if I do this, will he think it’s weird?”

“Dude, if he thinks it’s weird, you have my permission to dump him.”