The Moments You Were Mine

Book 1: Swift Rivers Series

by LJ Evans

Genres: Small-town Romance; Romantic Suspense; Friends to lovers; Romantic Suspense; small town romance; marriage of convenience; Second Chance Romance; Single Dad romance; friends to lovers romance; bodyguard romance; close proximity

Synopsis

When she’s the only promise that matters…

PARKER

There are only two things I’ve ever wanted—a career as a Navy SEAL and Fallon.

When a promise prevents me from making her mine, I dedicate my life to the Teams and swear off all relationships. Until disaster flips my world.

Just as I inherit a little boy, Fallon’s life is threatened, and suddenly, the oaths I made seem inconsequential. The only things that matter are making her mine and keeping her and Theo safe.

FALLON

I once believed Parker and I were soulmates. But after a stinging rejection, I get the hint and move on.

When my new relationship blows up and brings trouble to the ranch, it’s Parker who arrives to protect me. Watching as he cuddles the child he brings with him has all my unrequited dreams rushing back.

Except offering myself to Parker now risks more than a broken heart. It could have deadly consequences… for all of us.

With “My Wife” swoon, this small-town, single-dad spin-off of the fan-favorite Hatley Family series is a chemistry-filled kiss to your heart. Get this broody bodyguard, standalone HEA today.

Release date: August 13, 2025

Publisher: LJ Evans Books

Print pages: 450

Sample

Chapter One

Fallon

FOOLISH ONE

Performed by Taylor Swift

 

SIX YEARS AGO

HIM: I’m sorry I missed move-in day. You all settled?

HER: Yep. I’m at the stables with Daisy this morning, but I’m heading back to the dorms and then to the beach for my first surf lesson!

HIM: Surfing? Since when have you been interested in surfing?

HER: I’m in San Diego for the next six to eight years, Parker. It would be a sin to be this close to the beach and not learn how to surf. You should come!

 

Concentrating on the shaggy-haired man giving the surf lesson was nearly impossible when I was acutely aware of the broad-shouldered Navy SEAL standing next to me in the sand. My entire body tingled while my stomach danced with nervous excitement. I hadn’t really expected him to join me for the lesson, and I certainly hadn’t expected him to show up at the dorms and offer to drive me.

What did it mean?

Nothing? Everything?

Did Parker finally see me as a woman instead of a kid?

Parker elbowed me, and my breath caught when I looked up into his face. Square-jawed with steel-gray eyes and a straight, classic nose that had been broken recently. The notch at the top added a certain toughness to him that hadn’t been there in his teenage years. Usually, he was serious, his beautiful lips set in a firm line, with the delightful M shape at the top tempting me. But when he smiled, like now, when his mouth spread wide, showing off straight white teeth and pure joy, he was like some sort of miracle. An image you could never quite capture right.

He had his wetsuit unzipped and open, the sleeves hanging around his narrow hips, exposing his broad chest. He’d earned an entirely new level of muscles at Basic Underwater Demolition/SEALs training and even more in the training he’d gone on to after it. He was sculpted now, cut and grooved in ways that called to my fingers to trace the contours.

How was my eighteen-year-old, hormone-driven body supposed to resist him?

“Ducky, are you even paying attention?” he said under his breath, his smile growing.

“I’m a little distracted,” I hissed back.

He winked at me, and it set all those wild and raw emotions burning inside me cartwheeling again. “I know I’m a lot to take in, but you need to focus so you’ll be safe out on the water.”

“It’s not like you’ve surfed either,” I tossed back, swiping my dark-blonde braid over my shoulder.

“You think a little board is going to do me in after I survived BUD/S?” he teased.

“Is there a problem over there?” the instructor asked, dark-brown eyes narrowing in on us.

“No, not at all. Sorry to interrupt,” I retorted and glared at Parker, who only hid his smile behind his mouth.

Two hours later, we were high-fiving each other at the end of the class when the chestnut-haired instructor joined us. He congratulated Parker and me on our successful rides. While other students in the class had struggled to even keep the board under them, Parker and I had both stood up and coasted along the wavetops for a few brief seconds before we’d lost our balance.

“I’m Ace. You’re Fallon, right?” the instructor said, shoving his hand at me. I shook it, and he held on a little too long, his finger skimming my palm in a way that sent a curl of unease up my spine. I rubbed my hand along my wetsuit.

“You sure you’ve never surfed before?” he asked, glancing at Parker and then back to me. His eyes dragged down my suit, and I had to fight not to pull my surfboard in front of me.

“No, but she’s a trick rider,” Parker said. “She’s used to being up on top of a moving horse.”

Ace’s brows raised. “Trick rider, huh? I’m not sure I’ve ever met one in person.”

Parker grabbed my hand, and the energy that flew between us was nothing like the ugly one I felt toward this instructor. This spark was like watching the fireworks over the lake on the ranch back home. Sizzling and captivating.

Parker tugged me toward him, and I lost my balance at the unexpected motion, colliding into his side just as his arm went around my shoulder. “She’s at the University of San Diego on an equestrian scholarship. Freshman. Just turned eighteen,” Parker added with a little growl to his voice that sent a delicious curl through me even as it pissed me off. He was warning this guy off as if I was twelve instead of an actual adult.

I wasn’t interested in Ace. I’d felt that warning zing when he’d looked at me, and I’d learned firsthand what it meant to ignore those warning signs as a teenager. I’d never ignore them again. But Parker had no right to place me in a bubble and stick me on a shelf just so no one would touch me. He may not want me in the way I’d craved for years now, but that didn’t mean no guy did.

“Don’t take offense at his grunt,” I said, shoving away from Parker. “You know those Navy SEALs…they only have one tone—growly.”

Ace’s eyes flickered back to Parker. “SEAL, huh? Guess that explains why you stayed up on the board.” Then, he practically dismissed Parker and turned back to me. “We’ve got a more advanced class on Thursday evenings. You should check it out. I bet I could have you surfing like a pro in no time.”

Before I could respond, a woman jogged up and wrapped her arm through Ace’s. She had short dark hair, a pointy jaw, and wide eyes that made her look a bit like an elf come to life. “Hey, babe, your noon appointment is here.”

Ace’s eyes shot to the parking lot just beyond the beach hut where he worked, selling surf gear and swimwear in addition to the surf lessons. A dark SUV had pulled into the handicapped spot in front of the shop.

“I hope to see you again, Fallon,” Ace said and then headed off toward the SUV.

The woman stayed behind, shooting me a glare. “Ace and I are engaged.”

I almost laughed. The claim she’d staked was nearly as ridiculous as the warning Parker had given her fiancé. “Congratulations,” I told her. “I’m just here for the surf lesson.”

“Well, it’s over now,” she said.

“We’ll just return the boards and head out,” Parker said, grabbing our rented boards and heading toward the hut.

I could feel Ace’s fiancée’s eyes on me the entire way.

“I guess I need to invest in a board,” I said after we’d dropped the rentals off.

“You’re not going to take more lessons with him, are you?” Parker demanded as we stripped off our wetsuits by the outdoor showers.

“Maybe not him, but someone,” I said.

As I stepped under the stream of the water in my red bikini, I felt Parker’s gaze on me. It lingered. Hot and steamy. Or maybe that was just the way I always felt around him.

I’d known Parker my entire life—well, as far back as my memories went. His dad was the chief of security from my father’s global bar conglomerate, and every summer or holiday I’d spent with Dad, Parker and his parents had been there too. We’d had golden vacations full of laughter and joy. Days woven with feelings of acceptance, as if I was actually wanted and cherished, only to have them ripped away when Dad sent me back to the ranch as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if it didn’t tear his heart out like it did mine.

That was before everything went to hell at the ranch. Before my stepdad had died and left a failing legacy to me rather than my mom, and before my father had helped me save it. Dad and I had mended our relationship in the last few years, but I wasn’t sure I’d ever be rid of the scars that my childhood had left on my soul. Wounds that cracked open easily.

Parker was glowering when I opened my eyes and stepped away from the water to towel off.

“What’s got you all broody and simmering?” I asked casually, unable to help the heady rush of hope that hit hard, fast, and uncontrollably as his eyes scanned me from head to toe before darting away. Maybe Parker would actually admit to the sizzle burning between us. Maybe he’d actually admit he didn’t like Ace looking at me because Parker wanted me. Because we belonged together. We weren’t just childhood friends. We were something more.

But my hopes crashed and burned when Parker said, “I think Ace was high. That’s dangerous on the water at any time, but especially while teaching beginners. Anything could have happened, and he wouldn’t have been prepared.”

I pulled a T-shirt and yoga pants over my bikini, slipped into a pair of flip-flops, grabbed my bag, and headed for the parking lot where we’d left Parker’s truck. I threw my bag into the back and turned around, watching as Parker took a turn at the outdoor shower.

The water sluiced off him, the sun hitting it and casting him in a shimmery rainbow of mist. It reminded me of the waterfall back on the ranch. The way the colors glimmered over the foam as the water hit the rocks. It reminded me of times we’d spent playing in that water over the last few years, my stupid crush growing in leaps and bounds while he built up more and more barriers between us.

When I was fourteen, I got why he’d done it. He was five years older than me and refused to see me as anything more than a family friend, as the kid he’d been charged with protecting whenever he was around. But I was eighteen now. That didn’t seem so far off from his twenty-three, did it?

He dried off, pulled on a gray T-shirt that clung to every one of his enormous muscles, and jogged over to the truck.

“You up for tacos?” he asked as he slid on a pair of dark aviator glasses.

“You think they can beat the ones the new chef at the resort makes?” I asked.

He pushed his sunglasses down so he could look at me over the top, and those steely gray eyes made my heart skip a beat again. “We’re mere miles from Mexico, Ducky. I bet these will be the best damn tacos you’ve ever had. Only place better is this shop in Ensenada.”

“What do I get if you lose?” His brows furrowed. “You said you ‘bet’ I’ve never had better.”

My stomach flipped as his eyes turned dark and stormy before he slid the glasses back up, hiding his emotions from me.

“If I lose, I’ll keep dragging my ass out here to take surf lessons with you.”

I scoffed.

“What? Since when have I ever reneged on any of our bets?” he asked, a hint of warning in his tone.

“Oh, I think you’ll keep your end—at least until your command hauls you back to training and off on deployment to some far-off part of the world where you’ll do unspeakable things.”

His jaw ticked. “That’s weeks away. And the way you stood up on that board today tells me you’ll be done with classes well before I’m called back.”

He opened the passenger door for me, and I barely prevented myself from rolling my eyes at him. Not only at the gentlemanly move that made our time together feel date-like when I knew it was the furthest thing he’d intended but because I knew the real reason for this bet. He didn’t want me near Ace.

As he climbed into the driver’s seat and backed out of the spot, I watched him surreptitiously from under my lashes. He may not admit to the attraction that drifted between us now, but I’d still scored a point today. He hadn’t liked Ace flirting with me. He didn’t want me with another guy. That had to count for something, didn’t it?

 

Chapter Two

Parker

I’M ON FIRE

Performed by Bruce Springsteen

 

FIVE YEARS AGO

HER: If you’re available tonight, we’re having a bonfire at the beach. Feel free to join.

HIM: Will country music be blasted?

HER: Perhaps. But I’m not in charge of the music selection. I’m sure you could convince Rae to blast some of the crap you like that makes my ears bleed.

HIM: Or she’ll torture us all with her reggae.

HER: Reggae is growing on me.

HIM: There is absolutely no hope for you, Ducky.

HER: At least I’m willing to explore. You’re the one who refuses to change your mind once it’s set on something.

 

Fallon laughed at something her friend said as they returned to the sand from the restrooms. Her full lips were spread wide, eyes crinkling, as she tossed her long braid behind her shoulder. Her hair was wet from the outdoor shower, and it had turned the color of deep honey or a warm whiskey. The setting sun behind her shot it with amber highlights, giving her a halo and turning her into an angel.

Except, if she was an angel, she was more likely an archangel than the sweet, sitting-on-a-cloud kind. She’d have a fiery sword and armor, and she’d battle the world for her cause.

She’d always been that way, even as a kid, defending those she loved, the land she’d inherited, and her home with a fire absent from many of the adults in her life.

She may only be nineteen, but she’d seen more and taken on more responsibility than anyone I knew. But I was the only one in the crowd of college kids she’d gathered today who knew it.

Since coming to San Diego last year, Fallon had pulled on a different persona. It was as if she was actively trying to forget her roots, trying to pretend she was just like everyone else when, really, she was an heiress. The owner of a five-thousand-acre, five-star resort near the Sierra mountains. It was under her mom’s guardianship at the moment, but when Fallon hit twenty-four, it would become hers.

As she approached the fire pit her friends had built, half a dozen guys she called friends followed her with their eyes. I watched them, fury building at the lust on their faces. I hated it. Hated knowing exactly what was going through their minds because it went through mine all too often. I wanted to shut them down just like I shut my own thoughts down.

As Fallon took the beach chair next to me, I glanced over and nearly choked on the sip of water I’d just taken.

When I’d arrived at the beach, she’d been in a wetsuit, riding the waves on a magenta surfboard. I’d joined her, and we’d gone back and forth from shore to the outside and back for nearly an hour before we’d both called a halt.

Now, the suit was gone, revealing a tiny-ass bikini and miles of warm skin. It wasn’t the fact that it showed all her lean muscles and soft curves that had me choking. I’d seen those before—seen them and tried to tame the beast inside me that wanted to touch and lick and savor them. But tonight, it was the fact that her fucking pale-blue swimsuit was practically transparent that had me pulling my T-shirt over my head and tossing it at her.

“Cover up,” I snarled.

Her eyes went wide as she caught the black cotton shirt. “Excuse me?”

I leaned toward her, mouth close enough to her ear that I caught that enticing scent of her. Salty seas and wildflowers. Heaven and hell. “You might as well be wearing nothing, Ducky. That suit is fucking see-through.”

It was still light enough that I could see the hint of color that bloomed over her cheeks as her eyes jerked down to her body and saw exactly what I had. What every fucking guy here had seen—rosy tips and hints of hair darker than the strands on her head.

She pulled my T-shirt over her head, dragging her hair out from the collar. By the time she met my eyes, she’d already recovered from the embarrassment. She shrugged. “It’s not like I’m showing something anyone here hasn’t already seen.”

My thoughts went dark. What the hell did she mean? They’d all seen her naked?

Fury and jealousy coursed through me.

She read my expression and laughed. “I didn’t mean they’d all seen me, Parker. You know better than that. I just meant female bodies in general.”

But I didn’t know it, did I? She was a sophomore in college. She’d dated guys. She’d been texting me about the dates she’d been on since high school. She’d asked me questions she should have asked her mom, but her mom wasn’t always in the right state of mind to answer them. Lauren had been on a cycle of opiate addiction and recovery ever since I’d first met her.

 All I knew was that I was grateful Fallon had never asked me about doing the actual deed. I wasn’t sure I could have handled knowing she was closing the deal with some guy who didn’t deserve her, who hadn’t earned the right to be at her side.

I wasn’t sure anyone would.

Not even you, dickwad, my conscience screamed at me.

Fallon turned to her friend who’d sat down on the other side of her. “You were right, Rae. Twenty dollars was too good to be true for my swimsuit.”

Her friend was curvy and tall with black hair that she kept wound tight in miles of tiny braids, held back with a thick band. She’d been Fallon’s roommate in the dorms, and they’d moved to an apartment off-campus this year. The last time I’d been in it, the place still had the bare-bones, second-hand vibe of starving students. I was pretty damn sure not even Rae knew the truth about the size of Fallon’s bank accounts.

“Is it pilling already?” Rae asked.

“See-through,” Fallon said, quirking a brow at me. “Parker didn’t seem to appreciate it.”

“Parker needs to let the rest of us have our fun,” a guy across the fire pit said with a sneer.

My muscles bunched, ready to leap across the flames and plant my fist in his face.

It was Will’s hand on my arm that stopped me. “Let it go, Park,” my friend said under his breath.

I whipped my eyes to Will’s face. The natural highlights in his dark-brown hair were the same color as the fire burning in front of us. Thick and wavy, he had cowlicks that caused it to stick up in strange places whenever it wasn’t shorn down to his scalp. Today, it was a mess from our time in the water.

He had his arm around a slim, warm-skinned woman with brown eyes, bright-purple hair, a nose ring, and tattoos dancing up both shoulders. I wasn’t crazy about Althea, but Will was head over heels in love with her.

I swallowed hard, trying to calm myself down, and did exactly what my best friend since the Naval Academy had told me. I let it go. The twenty-something loser on the other side of the fire wouldn’t stand a chance if I decided to take him out, but I wouldn’t end my SEAL career just as it was taking off by getting arrested.

“Music, Rae!” someone demanded, and Fallon’s friend pulled a portable speaker out of her beach bag. She whipped through screens on her phone, and reggae filled the air. The beat was steady and sensual, turning the lighthearted day at the beach into something darker. Needier.

Rae pulled Fallon to her feet, and they started dancing. My T-shirt rode up along Fallon’s thigh, giving hints of that blue bikini, and I fought my body’s reaction to it. To her. To a woman I was here to protect and nothing more.

Eight years ago, I’d promised our dads that I would always look out for her and keep my hands to myself while doing it.

She’d been in danger that day, targeted by men who were coming for her dad, and I’d been a green Academy cadet who thought he already knew everything about protecting people. Except, I hadn’t known shit, and the moment I’d left, the moment I’d turned my back, Fallon had nearly died.

I wouldn’t let that happen again on my watch. When I was deployed, there wasn’t much I could do about it, but she’d always be safe when I was here.

The sun dropped below the ocean, the waves crashed along the shore, and the breeze drifted in, bringing the scent of salt and seaweed with it. Nights on the sand always brought back memories of not only BUD/S—where we’d been stuck in the moonlight, shivering and quaking with a RIB boat held above our heads—but also of my first mission as a SEAL. The silence had been heavy after we’d landed and made our way up the darkened beach until it had been broken by gunfire.

I looked over at Will to see his face had turned serious as well. Would we ever get used to the memories? Or would each mission weigh us down a bit more? Would coming home always feel like we’d lost something of ourselves while we’d been gone?

As the night progressed, alcohol appeared as if from nowhere, and people started to pair off. Hands were held. Kisses turned sultry. Most of the college kids here weren’t old enough to buy the booze they were drinking, and neither Will nor I could afford to have a furnishing alcohol to a minor charge, so I stood up and stretched.

Will did the same, bringing Althea with him.

“Time for us to go, Ducky,” I said to Fallon.

She spun in the sand, a smile on her face that hit me dead center in the chest like an arrow. Goddamn, why did she have to be so beautiful? She glowed with an energy, a vibrancy, that seemed to light up the night.

“You’re in town for a few more days, right? I’ll see you again before you ship out?”

I picked up her bag. “You’ll see me tonight. Let’s go.”

She huffed out a laugh. “You’re not the boss of me, Kermit.”

I just shouldered her bag, picked up her phone from the cup holder of the beach chair, and slid it into the sweatshirt I’d tugged on after giving her my shirt.

“Nothing here for you tonight,” I said, glancing around at the alcohol and entwined couples.

She put her hands on her hips. “I’m not twelve, Parker. No one sent you to watch over me.”

“One call, Ducky. One call, and I can guarantee Rafe will make sure there’s someone here watching you permanently,” I growled.

Rae’s eyes shot back and forth between us, a frown appearing between her brows. Fallon’s face paled, and she stepped closer, mouth drawn tight at my mention of her dad. She leaned in and whispered, “You know I don’t talk about that here. No one knows.”

Instead of arguing with her, I simply picked her up and tossed her over my shoulder like the sandbags they’d had us haul in training.

“Parker!” she squealed, pounding on my back.

I looked at Rae. “You coming?”

Rae’s lips twitched, and she pointed to the guy sitting in a chair next to hers. “No, I’m staying with Joren tonight.”

“Be safe, Rae,” I said and turned on my heel to follow Will and Althea as they picked their way through the sand toward the parking lot.

Fallon was still pissed, hollering and spitting like a wild cat, her hands smacking my ass.

“You realize that’s going to hurt you more than me?” I said, and she gave out another snarl of irritation.

Will was laughing as he opened the passenger door of his sports car for Althea. “I’ll see you tomorrow on base, Baywatch. Have fun with that.” He waved at Fallon.

I wouldn’t have fun in the way he implied. That was the last thing I’d do.

At my truck, I set Fallon down. When she went to sidestep me, I caged her against the back door. “Stop.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and glared at me. “You tossed Dad at me, but what would your father say if I sent him a text saying you were manhandling me?”

“If you told him the truth about the entire situation, he’d likely applaud.”

She blew out an exasperated breath.

Our gaze remained locked, heat zapping between us, and I felt that tug deep in my chest again. She wet her lips, and the simple motion sent a pulse through my groin. An unacceptable reaction.

She was the one who broke first, looking out at the ocean.

The sound of the waves mingled with the music. Heady and strong.

Whispering temptations I’d never give into.

“I don’t want you here as my bodyguard, Parker,” she said. Her voice was low and husky, and when she turned to face me, the look in her eyes almost brought me to my knees.

Desire. Wild flames of it. Enough to consume me with just a single glance.

The pulse in my dick pounded furiously.

I ignored it.

“I’m not here as your bodyguard. I’m here as a friend, and a good one wouldn’t leave you alone with a bunch of drunk guys who only have sex on their minds.”

She raised a brow. “Maybe I have sex on my mind too.”

Her gaze fell to my lips, and the urge to give her what she wanted, what we both wanted, was far too strong. Far too dangerous.

I stepped to the side and yanked open the passenger door of my truck.

“Tacos will have to do for tonight.”

She rolled her eyes but climbed in. I tossed our shit into the back, and as I walked around to the driver’s side, I adjusted myself in my shorts.

It was a good thing my team would be deployed soon.

If I had another month here, I might just break. I might just be a goddamn SEAL who rang the bell and gave in to the undertow that was Fallon Marquess-Harrington.

 

Chapter Three

Fallon

ALMOST LOVER

Performed by A Fine Frenzy

 

FOUR YEARS AGO

HIM: Where are you?

HER: You’re home! Everyone okay?

HIM: We were all fine until I accidentally hit play on that pop song you sent me and nearly killed everyone.

A few minutes passed.

HIM: Seriously, Ducky, where are you? I need to see you.

HER: I’ll tell you if you promise not to drag me away again.

More minutes passed.

HER: Parker?

 

The heat from the bonfire spread across my face as I looked up from my phone. Across the way, Rae and her most recent boyfriend were engaged in a furious debate about politics—something I avoided as much as possible when at the beach.

This was my time away. Escape. Just like San Diego was an escape from the real world that awaited me once I finished college. Sometimes, for brief seconds, I wondered if I’d done the wrong thing in not telling anyone here about the resort I owned or the money I’d inherited from my father.

But I liked being the same as everyone else—struggling students pooling together money to buy the keg and food for the bonfire. If, somehow, a few extra twenties ended up in the pot, no one needed to know where they came from.

If and when my secret got out, I knew everything would change. Rae would be hurt the most because I’d lied by omission, but what else was I supposed to do when she hated the wealthy? She was determined to level the economic playing field once she obtained her law degree and joined a human rights campaign. I was almost certain she wouldn’t remain my friend and roommate if she knew the truth.

Maybe that was me thinking the worst instead of the best of her. Maybe she’d be more pissed about that than my secret. But I couldn’t take the risk. Not right now.

“What’s wrong?” The question from my date had me turning to look at him.

JJ’s golden brows furrowed together over bright-blue eyes. He was a golden-haired Adonis, and every time I thought about him being with me, my heart squeezed a little bit. Most of it was happiness, pleasure that someone with such a dynamic personality had been drawn to me. But part of me wondered if the excitement I’d felt on seeing Parker’s name appear on my phone made it wrong to be on a date with anyone.

Except, Parker wasn’t ever going to be mine, and I couldn’t wait around forever for him to finally tear down the walls between us.

I deserved to have a boyfriend, to go on dates, be kissed, be romanced.

To finally have sex.

JJ had swept me off my feet the moment we’d met on the outside. We’d shouted encouragement to each other as we’d taken on a particularly wicked wave, and as soon as we’d planted our feet and surfboards on the sand, he’d asked me out.

For the first time in my life, I’d been the dead center of someone’s all-consuming focus, and I was thrilled to be there. For so much of my childhood, I’d had to fight for anyone’s attention—even my parents’—so having all of JJ’s was intoxicating.

At the sound of a vehicle door slamming shut, I turned my head toward the parking lot. A man emerged from a truck in the dim light of the streetlamps, and my heart literally flipped over.

I was up and out of the beach chair, running flat out across the sand, in a flash.

Large hands caught me as I flung myself at broad shoulders.

I buried my nose in the crook of Parker’s neck, inhaling that earthy scent that was uniquely his. The smell that had always soothed me.

“You’re home!”

He squeezed me tight before slowly setting me down and assessing me in that way he did now. It was a slow scan that looked for changes or injuries or who knew what, but every time he did it, my heart thundered, and my body nearly spasmed.

It had never felt wrong before…not until now—when my date was waiting for me at the bonfire.

Parker looked tired. Shadows lingered below eyes that seemed darker than even the night around us.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He reached out and tugged my braid, a motion he’d been doing since childhood. A sweet tease. A comfort. Reassurance.

“Better now,” he said, and my heart tumbled over again as he grinned. When Parker smiled, everything seemed right in the world.

From behind me, a confused voice called my name. I turned to see JJ making his way from the bonfire, a frown between those thick brows.

I swallowed hard, stepped toward JJ, and twined my fingers with his. “JJ, I want you to meet Parker. Parker, JJ.”

Parker’s gaze settled on my hand gripping my date’s, and his smile disappeared.

“Wait, this is the friend you were talking about? In the Navy?” JJ said, surprise in his voice as he took in Parker’s camo pants, tan T-shirt, and military boots. He was still in the clothes he must have worn on the plane ride home. Or ship ride home. Or however the hell Parker had come home from his latest assignment.

It shouldn’t thrill me as much as it did to know he’d come looking for me before he’d done anything else. That I’d been his first stop after months of being gone.

Parker stuck out his hand, and JJ shook it.

“You have me at a disadvantage, I’m afraid,” Parker said. His voice was gruff, the way it sounded when he was tired. “I haven’t heard of you.”

JJ stiffened, let go of my hand, and tossed his arm around my shoulder, drawing me closer.

“Well, you’ve been incommunicado for months,” I reminded Parker. The silence that followed grew awkward, and my palms began to sweat. I cleared my throat. “How’d you know I’d be here?”

“You said you didn’t want me to drag you away again.” Parker’s gaze settled on mine, and I felt the heat in his eyes stronger than I had from the bonfire moments before.

JJ made some kind of inarticulate noise at the innuendo. Damn Parker. He was going to mess things up for me before I’d even gotten past second base with JJ.

I punched Parker in the shoulder. “Don’t make it sound like that.” I looked up at JJ and smiled. “Parker is like a big brother. The one you never want around when you’re having a little too much fun, because he does that whole overprotective thing so well.”

This time, it was Parker who grunted unhappily.

It proved how messed up I was that I liked it. I liked that he was unhappy to see me with JJ. And yet, I also liked JJ. What was wrong with me? Maybe it had to do with the screwed-up DNA from my mother’s side of the family. Although, my dad’s side wasn’t exactly made up of saints either. Cursed. Maybe I really was cursed—as my uncle had once told me I was.

I ducked under JJ’s arm and stepped back toward the bonfire.

“Come on, I can see if there are still any hot dogs left. You’re probably starving,” I said to Parker.

He didn’t move. He stood at the edge of the sand, looking past me at the bonfire before returning to me. “I’m pretty beat. I think I’ll head home. I just wanted to see you before I landed in bed and slept for a week.”

I turned to JJ. “Why don’t you go back? I’ll be there in a second.”

JJ didn’t look too happy, but he headed off.

Silence fell, the crash of the waves beating between Parker and me a strange warning instead of the peace it normally was. The rhythm of the music, some country song Parker would hate, vibrated over the air.

“You’ve got yourself a boyfriend, Ducky,” Parker said. His voice was completely bland. Neutral.

“It’s, like, our third date. I’m not sure we’re in boyfriend territory yet,” I said with a shrug.

“I’m pretty sure he tried to stake a claim with that handshake.”

I rolled my eyes. “You know that misogynistic, He-Man stuff doesn’t do it for me.”

A small smile returned to Parker’s face as he leaned in and said softly, “Then he’s doing it wrong.”

My stomach whooshed, my insides curled tight, and longing barreled through me.

“Don’t do that,” I breathed out.

“Do what?”

“Don’t flirt with me when you have no intention of ever doing more. I’ve finally found someone who likes me for me. Who wants me—” my voice cracked, and it pissed me off. I took a minute and then continued. “I deserve that.”

Parker’s face went blank again. He was so good at it these days. Since he finished training and started going on missions, he’d become excellent at hiding every thought and emotion. I hated it.

“You do deserve that, Ducky. I’m just not sure he deserves you.”

I blew out a breath. “You met him for two seconds. You tossed out an innuendo that made it seem like we were more when I’ve spent the last three weeks explaining you are just a friend, and now you’re pissed that he reacted to it. You don’t know him.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked on his heels. “You’re right. I don’t. I’m sorry. I’m in a pissy mood.”

Instantly, all my anger and frustration disappeared. “What’s wrong?”

“Althea’s pregnant. She’s demanding Will marry her, and I’m doing everything I can to hold him back. Hell, I’m not even sure if the baby is his. Guys from another squad told me they’d seen her with a whole series of Marines while we were deployed.”

My heart hurt for Will. “That’s awful. Is he getting a DNA test?”

“I finally convinced him to get one and to wait until after the baby is born before making anything permanent with her.”

“I bet Althea loved that.”

Neither of us were crazy about Will’s girlfriend.

“You could say I’ve now become her least favorite person.”

Laughter broke out from the bonfire behind us, and I turned to see JJ standing on the opposite side, but his gaze was on Parker and me. If I wasn’t on a date, I would have gone with Parker simply because it had been months since we’d seen each other, but also so I could try to soothe his ruffled feathers.

We probably would have gone to the Taco Shack and then gone back to his house to watch Buffy reruns and take turns daring each other to listen to some song we both knew the other wouldn’t like. I would have helped him decompress after a mission that had obviously settled hard on his soul and had been made worse by the news Althea had given them.

Parker and Will had grown much closer since Will’s parents had died while they were at the Naval Academy together. The men were no longer just friends. They were brothers. Parker’s parents had all but adopted Will.

“Your parents are going to be excited. They’re finally getting a grandkid.”

Parker’s brows raised. “I didn’t even think about that, but you’re right. They will be happy.”

His gaze lifted over my head to the party raging behind me. He reached out and tugged my braid again. “Go. Have fun with your new guy and your friends. Just not too much fun.”

My lips twitched.

“I think your idea of too much fun and mine are really different.”

He winked as he stepped back toward the parking lot. “That’s because you’ve never seen me in my Whites at the bar.”

My breath almost evaporated at the idea of it. The perfection that was Parker pressed into that sexy uniform, on the prowl for someone to take to his bed. A shiver ran down my spine, and I scolded myself.

He wasn’t mine. He didn’t want me that way.

In truth, he didn’t want anyone that way. At least, he didn’t want a permanent relationship. For some reason, Parker had sworn them off. He didn’t believe any relationship could last his SEAL career or didn’t believe it was honorable to be in one when he’d always be away more than he was home.

“With how tired you look, Kermit, I’m not sure even the Whites would get you action tonight.”

He laughed, and the deep sound resonated through me in the best and worst kind of way.

“I’ll call you when I come out of hibernation. We’ll hit some waves.”

“Sounds good. Be safe getting home,” I said.

He looked back, eyes drifting to the bonfire and JJ again before returning to me. “You too, Ducky.”

And then he was gone.

I felt bereft. As if, this time, I’d actually lost him. As if there was yet another barrier that had gone up between us—one of my making this time. One called JJ.

 

Chapter Four

Parker

I AIN’T SAYIN’

Performed by Jordan Davis

 

THREE YEARS AGO

HER: Are you back from your mission? I wish you were back.

A week later

HIM: What’s wrong?

HER: Momentary lapse in judgment with an idiot. I’ve recovered.

HIM: Who do I need to punch and why?

 

The bar was dark and loud, smelling of sweat, spilled beer, and desperation. I wasn’t sure who it was rolling off stronger—the Marines and SEALs or those who’d come hoping to hook up with someone in uniform.

Normally, after returning from a mission, I was ready to be one of the crowd, searching for someone to spend a few hours burning off the tension with. But witnessing my best friend’s struggles with his ex-girlfriend over this last deployment had taken my already recalcitrant attitude about relationships, even the one-night kind, and leveled it up. I wasn’t sure a few hours of pleasure were worth the chance of getting stuck with a woman who didn’t believe me when I said my lifestyle and my goals left no room for a girlfriend.

Just as it always did, a flash of sunny hair and gold eyes taunted me, reminding me of the one and only person who’d ever come close to changing my mind on the matter.

Except, this time, the vision of her didn’t disappear when I shook my head.

Instead, she kept staring right back at me, making my pulse skyrocket and my dick twitch.

What the hell was she doing here? In a bar everyone came to for one thing and one thing only?

I stormed through the crowd, causing grunts of objection I ignored. My complete focus was on Fallon, on getting to her and dragging her out of here.

“Let’s go, Ducky,” I growled when I reached her side, circling her bicep with my hand.

She yanked it away with enough force that it caused her to slide backward on the barstool she was perched on. She would have landed on her pretty little ass if I hadn’t steadied her with both hands on her waist. The touch burned. It tore through me like a goddamn grenade going off.

As soon as she was stable, I jerked my hands away.

She raised a shot glass, tossed it back, and slammed it onto the bar with an expertise that didn’t sit any better with me than her being in this dive.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said. The husky, honeyed timbre of her voice sent shockwaves spiraling through me. “I plan to stay here until I’m nice and toasty, and then I’m going to find some Navy boy to take me to bed so he can lose me in the morning.”

My entire body stiffened. Shoulders. Back. Groin. I ground my teeth together, leaned closer so our noses were almost touching, and said, “No.”

Her eyes widened, gaze dropping to my mouth before slowly easing back up. The fire I saw there matched the one in me, and it surprised the shit out of me, even when it shouldn’t. Even when I’d seen that fire before and done everything I could to squelch it.

“Last time I checked, you weren’t my boss or my dad. You can’t tell me no,” she huffed, tossing those thick waves behind her shoulder. I wanted to fill my hands with those golden locks. I wanted to yank them back and taste—

I swallowed hard and said, “Rafe would hate you being here.”

She snorted. “Dad would hate all my plans for tonight, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.”

I whipped out my phone and swiped through the contacts. I’d almost hit her dad’s number when she surprised me again by jerking the phone from my fingers.

“Don’t you dare!”

I’d expected her to be pissed at my high-handedness, and she was, but there was also a hitch in her voice that had me narrowing my eyes to really take her in. It wasn’t the short black skirt, her long, toned legs, or even the swell of her breasts showcased in a tight T-shirt that halted my gaze. Instead, it was the red rimming her eyes and the puffiness of her cheeks.

She’d been crying.

Someone had hurt her.

And that thought had every feral instinct in my body reacting. I was a trained killer. I knew exactly how to get rid of a body in a way no one would ever find it, and whoever had made Fallon Marquess-Harrington cry was going to pay the price.

I suspected I knew exactly who it was, but I had to get her to confirm it. To do that, I had to sit down next to her. I had to talk to her and watch those full lips twist and those dark lashes flutter. I had to stay close to the one person I’d been running from for years.

The one person who could make me forget all my promises to my dad, her dad, and myself.

I flagged the bartender and ordered a beer for me and water for her. When she requested another shot, I shook my head at the man over her head and then slid onto the stool next to her.

“Where are your friends, Fallon?”

Her lids closed for a second. “If I had to guess, they’re all at the bonfire.”

“And why aren’t you with them?”

The bartender put down my pint and her water, and she emitted a little growl of displeasure. Before I could stop her, she reached for my beer, raised the glass to those pretty lips, and chugged at least half the contents.

While it wasn’t the first time I’d seen her drink, it was the first time I’d ever seen her attempting to get drunk, and it increased the sour taste in my mouth. At the beach parties she’d invited me to over the last three years, she’d been focused on surfing during the day and dancing by the bonfire at night rather than downing alcohol like many of the college students hanging out with her.

Watching her in those moments, seeing her celebrate life with a lightness and freedom she’d never had at the ranch, it was the first time I’d felt the deep friendship we’d had as kids twist into something more. Something I’d never thought I’d have a problem ignoring when our five-year age difference had always felt more like twenty.

As a teen, I’d been aware of her crush on me well before our fathers had made me promise to ignore it. I certainly hadn’t been tempted back then. I’d been laser-focused on the Naval Academy and being one of the handful of cadets selected to go straight into Basic Underwater Demolition/Seal training upon graduation.

But as adults, standing next to Fallon as she tugged herself out of a wetsuit, leaving nothing more than a bikini and bare skin in its wake, I’d been struck with a landslide of emotions. Desire had been only the tip of them. Seeing her use those lean muscles to wrangle the waves with the same ease she’d tamed the horses back on the ranch had flooded me with images of a future I’d never allow to come true, even if I hadn’t had the promise to our fathers hanging over me.

For her first few years at the University of San Diego, it had been easy for me to convince Fallon to come away with me when I’d left the beach party. But this last year, since she’d started dating that loser, JJ, I’d had to leave her there, partying with her college friends. I’d go home to my tiny rental cottage and lie awake, fretting like some goddamn parent, until I received her text telling me she was home safe and sound.

I told myself it was the reason thoughts of her clung to me on my missions with an ache that left me nearly doubled over at times. It was simply unease about whether she’d make it home safely each time she partied with her friends. It was simply years of ingrained duty.

Which was ridiculous because she was an adult and no longer my responsibility. The truth was, she would say she’d never been my responsibility, that she’d grown up taking care of herself, and to some degree, she was right. Still, she was always the first person I texted when I returned from an assignment, and my gut remained clenched until she responded.

Right now, my Fallon protector instincts were in full swing as I took in her sexy little outfit, slurred speech, and the fogginess in her eyes.

“Seriously, Fallon, why are you here alone? Where is everyone?”

“It’s JJ’s birthday, so they’re celebrating with him,” she replied with a careless shrug that couldn’t hide a flash of hurt before she shoved it away.

“What did he do to you?” I demanded, barely leashing a raging desire to find JJ and plant a fist in his face.

Fallon’s eyes widened, but she didn’t respond. Instead, she finished my beer and almost slid off the damn stool again. I had to touch her, had to dig my fingers into skin exposed by her crop top to keep her upright, and hell if it didn’t burn all over again.

She set her hands on my shoulders, leaning forward so our mouths were mere inches apart. “He broke up with me.”

“Good.”

Stunned, she jerked back. I told myself it was relief and not disappointment that coursed through me when her hands left my body.

“What the hell, Parker?”

“Don’t act surprised. I’ve been clear about my feelings for JJ all along.”

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you,” she tossed back.

“Not jealousy, Ducky. Simple facts. He’s a loser who isn’t good enough to kiss your toes, let alone your lips.”

Her gaze dropped to my mouth, and she leaned back in, voice turning low and sultry. “Are you good enough, Parker?”

My entire body tightened. She was too beautiful for her own good. For my good. But I hadn’t become a SEAL without learning how to deny myself the things my body craved. So I used a single finger to push her back out of my space.

“Why did he break up with you?”

“I wouldn’t sleep with him.”

Shock rumbled through me. I’d blocked out thoughts of their bodies twined whenever I’d seen his hand or mouth on her. But she was twenty-one years old, and I wasn’t naïve enough to think they hadn’t done a hell of a lot more than kiss, even if it had made me want to break his fingers every time I’d witnessed him touching her.

“If that’s why he broke up with you, then it only proves my point. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“How long have you ever gone before closing the deal with someone you were dating?” she demanded with an arched brow.

“I don’t date.”

She rolled her eyes. “Puh-lease. Don’t give me that line. What about Sabine in high school?”

“First and last official girlfriend. I told her I didn’t want anything serious, that I wouldn’t drag anyone into my SEAL career with me, but she didn’t believe me, so I broke it off before our senior year.”

She scoffed. “You’ve had sex in the thirteen years since then, shithead.”

“I didn’t say I hadn’t.”

“So, no dates. Just pick someone up”—she waved a hand around the bar—“and give them one night. One night, and then you’re out.” Her words slurred more, and I was glad I’d stopped the bartender from bringing her another shot.

I shrugged.

I wasn’t ashamed of the way I conducted myself. Sex was just another way of releasing tension. If you kept the valve clamped too tight, you exploded. And there were plenty of women who needed the same release without the tangled web of a relationship.

“Fine,” she said. “I’ll take it.”

She slid her lips onto mine before I’d processed what she intended.

A bomb went off in my head. Explosions of lust. Raw need and hunger. And below it, something worse. Something deeper. Something that shoved a club in the air, claiming Mine. And for several long seconds, I deepened the kiss. Exploring. Demanding. Seeking.

Reveling in the sweet taste of her.

And then reality slammed into me. Guilt at the ease with which I’d let myself be drawn in.

I took her hands from where they’d landed behind my neck, crossed her arms in front of her, and pushed her away.

“No.” The single word was as much for myself as for her. This was off-limits. She was off-limits. I’d made a promise. A vow I intended to keep.

“JJ thinks I’ve already slept with you, so why shouldn’t I? When I denied it, he said even if we hadn’t bumped uglies, I couldn’t deny wanting to, and when I hesitated, he just smirked and walked out.” She snapped her mouth shut, horror in her eyes at having admitted to wanting to sleep with me. I ground my teeth together and fisted my hands to avoid reaching for her. “Whatever. He’s pissed that I wouldn’t sleep with him after he invested an entire school year into this relationship, patiently waiting for me to give it up.”

“It doesn’t matter what your reasons are for telling him no. If he can’t respect your decision, then it’s better to toss him aside.” I looked around the bar and remembered her words from when I’d sat down. “So, after telling your actual boyfriend you wouldn’t sleep with him, you decided to what? Come and give yourself to some asshole Marine who wouldn’t know how to get you off and certainly wouldn’t be slow or gentle with you for your first time?”

It burned inside me. The thought of her giving herself to anyone, let alone some anonymous foot soldier who would forget her name before the night was over—if he even learned it to begin with. She deserved rose petals and silk sheets, candlelight and a sea breeze drifting through open curtains. She deserved to be romanced and cherished before, during, and long after the deed was done.

Terror larger than anything I’d ever faced on my missions swept through me because I could see myself giving it to her. Could see every beautiful moment. I was almost desperate to be the first to touch those soft spots deep inside her. To see her cheeks flush with real pleasure.

I needed a drink. I needed to get the fuck away.

She set my phone down, rested her forearms on the sticky bar, and laid her head on them. Her eyes fluttered shut, and more panic reared. How much had she had to drink before I’d walked in?

“It’s just a hymen, Frogman.” Her words were even more garbled as sleep dragged at her. “It’s not like I even have one left after all my years on horseback.”

Irritation and more alarm surged, thinking about what might have happened to her if I hadn’t shown up. My eyes scanned the many, many jerks who would have been happy to take her up on what she’d offered, too drunk or not.

“It isn’t the body part, Ducky,” I bit back at her. “It’s the sentiment. The act itself should mean something for your first time.”

She didn’t respond. Her mouth dropped open just a little, and I realized she’d passed out.

Well hell.

I paid our tabs, swept her into my arms, and carried her outside. She made an inarticulate noise before leaning her head heavily on my chest, and my body went on high alert in all the wrong ways.

My house was only about two hundred paces from the bar. Over the last few years, it had become the perfect landing place for me and my squad at the end of our drunken bar crawls, but tonight, the walk seemed interminable. The scent of her wove itself into my very being. Salty seas and wildflowers. A smell that had comforted me the majority of my life.

As soon as my front door shut behind me, I realized my next problem—where to put her. I’d left Will in the guest room, fighting with his ex over the phone. I no longer had a couch in the living room, thanks to the mice who’d taken up residence in my consignment shop find. That left my bedroom. My bed. Where the scent of her would remain long after she’d gone, taunting my dreams with the one person I’d ever seen a future with and who I’d sworn not to claim.

I laid her down, removed her sandals, and covered her with the sheets and comforter. Her blonde hair spread out, a sea of tangled curls that covered both pillows. Her face was relaxed and vulnerable. The fire that usually burst from every fiber of her being was shuttered. It felt wrong to see her so still and quiet.

Almost as wrong as it felt to come home after each deployment to a stale and silent house.

She seemed paler than normal, passed out with alcohol flooding her veins, and worry threaded through me once again. Any thoughts of sleeping on the floor disappeared. No way in hell was I sleeping. I turned her on her side and slid on top of the covers next to her, eyeing each breath she took, scrutinizing each movement of her pupils behind her lids.

I’d watch over her once more, glad to play the part I’d played many times before now.

But when morning came, I had to get away from her, away from a very single, very stunning Fallon Marquess-Harrington, before she ripped the promises I’d made to shreds.

Her lashes fluttered open, and we stared at each other for several long heartbeats.

“Kiss me, Parker. Make me feel alive in the way only you can.” My gut clenched, and my dick twitched, a physical reaction demanding I give in to her request before I buckled it down.

“Even if you weren’t drunk, I’d never say yes to you.”

Hurt and anger spun through those golden orbs.

“Never is an awfully long time, Frogman. I wonder just what it would take to break you.”

“I’m a SEAL. I don’t break. I don’t ring the bell. Ever.”

She pushed the comforter down and dragged her shirt over her head, revealing a magenta lace bra that did nothing to hide her rosy tips. I bit back a groan at the goddamn sweetness of her. My mouth watered, imagining the taste. I longed to give her exactly what she wanted.

Instead, I simply added this moment to all my other memories of her challenging the barrier I’d constructed between us. Times when I’d seen her dance atop the waves like a goddess, or watched her spin while standing on horseback with a lasso swirling, or listened as she begged me to stay because she’d never feel safe without me next to her.

Fallon ran a finger along the stubble coating my jaw, and the look in her eyes hauled me into unsteady seas beside her. Ones that would require every ounce of strength I had to keep my feet planted in the sand. I wouldn’t drop the boat. I wouldn’t give in. I’d carry it to shore even if no one was there to see what it cost me to do it.

Even if it cost me her.