Chapter 1
Mercy
Earth - 1 Year Earlier
The car turns through the wrought-iron gate, past the statue of an angel, and deep into the cemetery.
“I always get a little turned around in here,” my father says, mostly to himself.
My mother, sitting next to him in the front seat, replies, “It’s the back section. Remember? Past the mausoleum with the stained glass.”
“Right, right.”
I stare out the window, bouquet of daisies in my hands, absorbing everything. That’s what I’ve started to do now, just take in everything like it’s the last time I’ll see it.
Which, logically speaking, it is.
“Ah, there it is.”
They speak of it—her, so casually—like everything is normal. Nothing is normal. Not my sister’s death or the reason we’re here today. Not the luggage in the back of the car or the freshly minted passport in my pocket—the one that includes travel not just to other countries, but to other planets.
Planets.
My father parks the car and I get out of the backseat. This visit isn’t for them. It’s for me. It’s time to say goodbye to my sister. I’ll never come back here—I know that in my heart.
Juliana’s grave is three rows over, and I take care not to step off the narrow, rocky path until I reach her headstone.
Juliana Grace Ladd
Daughter, Sister, Survivor
There’s a small nursing symbol underneath. Juliana loved being a nurse. She loved taking care of others, just like I did. I place the bright, yellow and white flowers at the base of the headstone, a sharp contrast to the dull, gray afternoon, and bend down on one knee.
“Hey, sis,” I start, feeling the tears well in my eyes. “Just wanted to stop by before I leave on my trip. I feel like if you were here, you’d approve, maybe even want to go with me. There are a lot of women I can help up on Athion. My mid-wifery skills are in high demand and I want those pioneers, the ones that are willing to change the face of our reality, to have support from back home, you know?”
I feel the wave of sadness rushing over me. “Sometimes it feels like I’m running away, but that’s not how I see it. I’m making a choice. My choice. The one you never got to make. I wish you’d had the chance to make your own decisions. Those fucking bastards took that away from you. They tricked and defiled you. I don’t blame you for what you did, Juliana, but I don’t want to be put in that position. I’m tired of being scared. I’m tired of being sad.”
I remember the day we found her. The pregnancy test was on the counter next to three empty pill bottles. Her face was so pale—her lips blue. I shake my head and wipe my cheeks, not wanting to remember her like that. I wanted to think of the girl with the strawberry-blonde hair, a shade lighter than my own. The girl with the bright smile and emerald green eyes that we shared. She was a light—my best friend--and I miss her so much.
I stand, glancing at my parents still in the car. This is hard on them too—losing both daughters. One in death, one to adventure.
“I’ll think of you every day that I’m in Athion,” I tell her. “I’ll look up at the thirteen moons and bring new life into the world. Wanted life—cherished life—and maybe then, I’ll feel peace.”
Chapter 2
Mercy
The woman reclines on the table, feet in the stirrups. Dr. Kane stands at the end of the table, focused on the examination.
“You’re doing great,” I tell the woman on the table, Hillary. This isn’t her first examination, but it is the first since landing on Athion. Everything here can be new and scary. Even a routine doctor’s exam. She reaches her hand out and I take it, nearly wincing at her grip. “Almost done.”
She smiles at me gratefully, exhaling as the doctor finishes up. He seals the samples in containers and places them on the table.
“You’re a very healthy young woman,” Dr. Kane says, pulling off the plastic gloves.
“So, I’m ready to leave the transition center?”
“Yep, I’ll approve your paperwork and you’ll start the process of moving into society.” He smiles broadly, giving a view of his straight teeth and adorable dimples. Dr. Kane isn’t just an outstanding doctor, he’s ridiculously handsome. Oh, and did I mention charming? Because he’s charming as well. And smart. And kind. It’s been incredibly difficult to keep my crush on him a secret while working with him.
But I do, I remind myself, as we leave the room to give Hillary privacy to dress, because I came here to focus on my calling as a midwife and to help the women who came from Earth to Athion for a new life. Sure, many of us were escaping the horrors of the invasion and occupation by the Tradrychs--a sneaky, deceitful race of alien--but Athion, fulfilling their promise of peace and prosperity, had offered us refuge. For me, at least, it wasn’t just a way to avoid the Trads. It was a way for me to change my life.
“You’re really great with the patients,” Dr. Kane says in the hallway. “You have a way of putting them at ease.”
“Thank you,” I say, feeling the blush on my cheeks. “I just want them to feel safe and comfortable. Exams like that feel very invasive, and after everything we’ve been through, the last thing these women need is to feel vulnerable.”
“I agree. That’s one of the reasons I agreed to this mission. I believe in protecting the women of Earth in this new world. It’s important that we make this transition as smooth as possible.” He smiles at me again and it’s enough to make my insides wobble. “Having you on my team is a pleasure.”
His eyes have a particular glint when he looks at me. I know I’m not imagining it. I feel the chemistry. The lure of something more, but our positions make it complicated and we’re here to work, not socialize.
He leaves to go into his office and I remain standing in the hallway like a goof, completely overwhelmed by Dr. Kane’s presence long after he’s gone. I caught a glimpse of myself in the reflective surface of a window into an empty, dark office. I knew I wasn’t a bad-looking woman, I had unique, flaming-red hair and a nice face, but I wasn’t like the other women here. I was past peak fertility age—closing in on thirty. I’d spent my early and mid-twenties working in rural communities helping low-income women without access to hospitals have safe pregnancies. With my erratic schedule, I didn’t have time for dating, for men. No more then, than I do now.
I’d known that coming to Athion would be a way to change the lives of the refugees from Earth. It seemed a good alternative to wondering about my own relationship and lack of family. Here, I could focus even more on my calling.
What I didn’t realize when I’d decided to come to this far away planet, was that it may be the place I finally fall in love.
* * *
I’m tidying up my cleaning station after work when I overhear Kai in the front office. The Athion’s deep voice is easily recognizable. I can’t see him from where I’m standing, but I know without a doubt what he looks like. At first, I found their differences distracting; the blue tint of their skin, the set of their eyes—deep with color and expressiveness. I’m fascinated by the sharp lines of their features, strong jaws, broad shoulders, big hands.
I don’t know if the ones around camp are of a particular breed—most are Custos—guardians working for the government. The ones I’ve seen are here to protect the transition center and the women and workers inside. These Athions are strong—muscular—physically imposing while carrying themselves with an unusual grace. I’d overheard an administrator refer to them as the “elite” chosen to guard their most important asset—their hope for the future.
“I want all females accompanied by one of the Custos at all times when they’re outside of the clinic. That means to and from the housing area and any errands or socializing.”
“What’s the concern?” a familiar voice asked. Dr. Kane.
There’s a hesitation, and I can imagine Kai’s standing there in his uniform. A tight-fitting black shirt and tactical vest. They all had similar black or green military-style pants, thick, synthetic leather boots, and a variety of weapons far superior to what we had on Earth. Laser guns that could stun or kill. Each carried a heavy blade on their belt.
“We’re keeping this information quiet right now so as to not alarm anyone, but there’s been a breach of the exterior wall. At least one woman is missing.”
“You think someone crossed the border and took her?” Dr. Kane’s voice lowered two notches. “Or do you think we have an enemy in our midst?”
“We don’t know. That’s why we’re taking every precaution.”
Someone is missing? I wondered who. The slow panic I’d felt back on Earth creeps up my spine before I come to my senses. There are no Trads on Athion. That would be foolish. There must be some other explanation.
I realize I’ve been lingering too long and, grabbing my bag, I clear my throat excessively as I walk down the hall. Both Dr. Kane and Kai glance up at me when I enter the doorway.
“Officer,” I say, giving him a nod of respect. The Custos had been nothing but appropriate with me and the other women in the facility.
“Ms. Ladd.” He looks me up and down and I feel my body catch fire from his attention. “Are you leaving for your dormitory?”
“I am.”
“I’ll escort you.”
It isn’t a request, and after hearing his concerns, I don’t argue. I hitch my bag over my shoulder and give Dr. Kane a nod goodnight. To my surprise, his normally open expression is a bit closed, eyes tight at the edges and his jaw tense. Is he that worried about what Kai told him?
“Good night, Ms. Ladd,” he says curtly and turns back toward his office, leaving me and the Commander alone.
Kai’s eyes follow the doctor as he leaves before shifting back to me.
“Come along and we’ll get you home quickly.”
I follow him out the front door of the clinic into the street outside. The community is quiet, primarily made up of refugees like myself, either working at the transition center or in the process of moving into Athion society. The buildings are clean and unobtrusive. Functional. The roads are paved with stone, soft grasses grow free. There’s an area each for housing, dining, education, and medical. Although the planet is suitable for human existence, there are slight variations—a small difference in gravity as well as fresh, unpolluted air. We all slept on the six-month journey from Earth and every refugee must go through a small quarantine period, assessing for illness or any issues that may have occurred during travel. Physicals and medical exams are part of the process. I arrived six months prior, bringing my time away from Earth to a year. There are times when I wonder what’s happening there—how my family is faring and society as a whole, but it’s too painful to think about so I don’t allow those thoughts to linger. I’ve always been good at blocking out what I find hurtful. Throwing myself into my work has always been the easiest way.
After arrival, I moved through the quarantine and began my time as a midwife in the facility—working in the gynecological office. No, pregnancies are unlikely in the transition facility, but the conception process, along with birthing, are different here. Including medical instruments, gestation periods, and medicines. I’m learning from the best, Dr. Kane, before I move on to the birthing centers in Athion.
Like every other time I’m outside of a building, my eyes move directly upward. The skies are the most brilliant blue. The nights are a blanket of stars. I can’t keep my eyes away and I’m particularly drawn to the orbiting moons around the planet. There are thirteen in all—some occupied. It’s such a strange sight.
“Can I ask what you’re looking at?” Kai asks next to me. The late afternoon sunlight glints across his reddish-brown hair.
“Oh,” I say, surprised by the soft tone of his deep voice. “The sky. It’s such an amazing color. I can’t get used to it—and I really don’t want to.”
He smiles and it’s disarming. “I believe it is because the air quality on Earth is so polluted—it masks the true beauty of the atmosphere.”
“I imagine you have amazing sunrises and sunsets.”
“Have you not seen one?”
“No. I’m usually in my quarters. You know we have a curfew.”
He nods. “I shouldn’t have forgotten. Once you leave the facility, you can see all the sunrises your heart desires.”
He walks next to me, eyes vigilant. I have no idea what he’s looking for. Everything seems normal. Women walking to and from their destination, the small number of human men still assigned to the facility. Other Custos doing their jobs.
“How long do you have?” he asks suddenly. “Before you leave for a birthing center?”
“Probably another few weeks.” I can’t fight my smile. “I’m excited to get to work. Not that I’m not enjoying my time with Dr. Kane, he’s a brilliant doctor, but I’m eager to work with more pregnant women. It’s why I came.”
We’re approaching my brown brick dormitory. “Midwifery is a highly regarded field on Athion—one of the most esteemed jobs a being can have. Your work is very important.” He swallows, as though holding back on some emotion. “The birth of each child is so important and the midwives that help the women through labor are cherished. Thank you for your service, Ms. Ladd.”
I’m struck by his sincerity. Back home, midwives are often looked down at as being lesser than doctors or nurses. We’re thought of as hippie nonsense. Not here, and certainly not by the Custo in front of me. “Thank you for making sure we’re all protected.”
“I’m just doing my job.”
“As am I.”
He stares at me for a moment—a moment longer than I’m exactly comfortable. Not because he’s threatening in any way—no. He’s the opposite. There’s a lure about him, a tug, and I know it’s inappropriate. That makes two males I’m inappropriately attracted to. Something about this place is bringing out a feral, lustful side of me. It’s an unexpected desire after what happened on Earth. I’d only been with a few men in my life—most during college. Once the Tradrych came, I opted for self-protection over physicality. The last thing I wanted was to be used by one of their men to procreate against my will, and it was impossible to trust who was human and who was Trad. It took away the natural order of sex, desire, and intimacy.
But things are different here.
“Good night, Ms. Ladd. There will be an escort waiting for you in the morning.”
“Thank you, Kai. You have a good evening.”
I head into the building, forcing myself not to look back. The whole reason I came here was to look forward, and none of the men in the facility will help me meet that goal.
Chapter 3
Kai
I walk away from Mercy Ladd and force myself not to follow her into the building, ask her to tell me everything about herself, her past, her dreams for the future. As I escorted her, I did everything I could not to reveal my interest in her—the way I crave to touch her skin, press my fingers against the warm red spots on her cheeks. I wonder how horrified she’d be to know how much I love to hear her laugh, see her smile.
I maintained my façade of professionalism with her and I keep it up as continue my patrol. After fighting on Earth during the invasion, I figured I’d be placed on a desk job. Maybe training the new troops. I never anticipated I’d be tapped for the Custo or that I would be given such an important assignment—protecting the females that arrived from Earth. I certainly never considered that I would meet someone like Mercy Ladd.
Smart.
Focused.
Beautiful.
The first time I saw her was during a visit to the medical clinic during routine safety rounds. I caught a glimpse of her flaming red hair twisted modestly behind her head. The fashion exposed her slim, graceful neck, her slender shoulders. She wore a medical uniform and thoughtfully considered her data pad.
I felt like I’d been hit by a rocketship.
That feeling has never left, despite my efforts. I’d spent my life in celibacy—as many men on Athion do. The lack of available females is one reason, but also my career has never allowed time to seek a mate, or even a casual companion.
As a solider, then a Custos, I’ve been married to my work and even if I wasn’t—Mercy Ladd isn’t an option. She didn’t come here to seek a relationship and procreate like many of the others. She’s here to assist in our new world, as evidenced by her strict professionalism.
I nod at a group of women being escorted to the dining building. Their Custo keeps his eyes ahead, focused. I doubt he’s thinking about a woman he can’t have.
I steady myself and approach the education wing. Mercy Ladd isn’t my only concern—she should barely be a concern at all. She’s like everyone else in this facility—an aspect of my duty.
I open the door and greet the women I serve, and make sure I keep them safe.
Chapter 4
Mercy
When I arrive downstairs the following morning for work, I expect Kai. Instead I find another Custo, Dimka, waiting. He’s tall with broad shoulders, inches taller than the other men including the Athionans. His coloring is a bit darker and the shape of his eyes slightly different. There’s a long scar along his neck that travels beneath his collar. The skin is slightly discolored and it looks like whatever caused it was painful.
I can’t help my curiosity about these males. Although they are completely different from human men like Dr. Kane, I still find them very appealing.
“Good morning, Ms. Ladd.”
“Hello, Dimka. I was expecting Kai. Is everything okay?”
His hesitation is barely noticeable but I notice a quick line appear between his eyes. “Just a small incident on the eastern border. Nothing to worry about. I volunteered to take his place.”
“I hate to drag you from something important. I could have gone alone—it’s not very far.”
His eyes cloud and he shakes his head. “No. Your safety is our highest priority.” He gestures for me to go ahead and I hear him say under his breath, “And trust me, it’s not an inconvenience.”
I’m not sure if I’m supposed to hear that comment, but I do, and it sends a thrill up my spine. Having the full attention of these strong, warrior-like Athions is a surprising pleasure.
Dimka doesn’t speak to me as much as Kai, and it only gives me time to study the man next to me. There are differences between the two Custos besides size and coloring.
“Watch your step,” he says as we get to an uneven part of the sidewalk. Dimka has a slight accent—one I don’t think I’ve heard in my time here.
“Your accent—it’s different from the others.”
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