Chapter One
Grady
“Let’s go, Jett, you need to get dressed.” I huff as I try to convince my three-and-a-half-year-old to put his freaking shirt on.
He stands there, arms crossed, and shakes his head. “No school.”
“Yes, school, Daddy has to work.”
“No work, Daddy!” He steps back. “Animals!”
It’s been a hard transition moving back to Sugarloaf for both of us. For one, I’m living with my sister, Brynlee, in her three-bedroom house with her version of a petting zoo out back. Which Jett wants to be in all the time.
And I’m caring for the new horses Rowan just purchased while I try to get my flight instructor business going.
Third, I’m doing it on my own and doing a bang-up job at it so far. That’s to say I’m really fucking horrible at this single father shit.
“After school you can go see them,” I negotiate. I never realized toddlers are literally like dealing with a hostage situation. He can argue, pitch a fit, refuse to do what you ask and then, when he hears something he wants, he caves.
Lisa would’ve handled this perfectly.
The thought of my wife whispers through me like the wind, leaving my chest cold as it exits. It’s strange at times when I feel her loss, like now, when our son is being defiant.
“I pet them?”
I sigh. “Yes, Auntie will let you pet them, but only if you get dressed and go to school.”
He sways a few times, as though I just asked him to solve a trigonometry problem, and shuffles toward me. I fight back my grin and slip the shirt over his head. Once he’s dressed, he leaps forward, wrapping his arms around my neck. I catch him with a laugh and hold him tight. Some days I don’t know how I do this, the ones where he’s never happy, throwing himself on the floor over a bath, or sick. Then these moments remind me why it’s all worth it.
Why giving up the life I worked so hard for, the found family I had in the navy, the way it felt to be a hero in some way didn’t matter because Jett needed me more.
He needed me to be the man to walk away from it and give him a home.
“Love you, Jett,” I say and then kiss his head.
“Love you, Daddy!”
And then he’s off, running out of his room, no doubt to try to escape to the barn where Brynlee is feeding her menagerie.
I push up, groaning as my knees creak, and go after him.
There I find him, in my sister’s arms, squeezing her cheeks together. “Hello, Grady,” she mumbles with her mouth smooshed.
“Morning, Brynn.”
She tries to smile but can’t. “Jett, you’re squishing my face.”
He laughs. “Auntie sounds funny.”
“She looks funny too,” I joke, unable to stop my older-brother instinct to piss her off from rising.
Brynn widens her eyes and puffs her cheeks, forcing him to let go, which causes him to giggle more.
That laugh, so much like his mother’s. Lisa laughed with her whole heart. It was goofy and loud, but it was beautiful and free. I wish I could hear it again, even just once, so I could truly memorize it.
“You look funny and smell,” Brynn attempts to insult me.
I roll my eyes and grab Jett from her arms. “Good comeback.”
She shrugs. “I’m not as quick with the insults, I suppose.”
“It would seem not.” I put Jett down. “Go get your shoes and your lunch bag.”
He runs off, and Brynn hands me my coffee tumbler. “Here. Are you going to Rowan’s this morning?”
I nod. “Yeah, I’ll drop the menace off and head there, work with the two new horses and then go fly. Easy day.”
“I’m sorry I can’t drop him off for you today, seems stupid for you to drive there to just drive back here, but I have court today and I won’t be able to leave early if you need me either.”
I nod. “I’ll see if Asher can, if needed. I have a flight today around two, but I should be back to get him before they close.”
Every one of my siblings live on the same land. My great-grandparents bought over two hundred acres and farmed here for a long time. Asher, my oldest brother, inherited it when our mother died, and he divided everything equally. The issue is that my acreage is nothing but trees. I did that because both Brynn and Rowan wanted to live here, and that gave them housing options as well. We had a holdup with the permits, something about drainage issues, so what was going to be about six months of living with Brynn is looking much longer.
“Sounds good,” Brynn says as she takes a sip. “Any word from the builder?”
“They believe they’ll have the permits next month. Then I need the builder to get going, but until we have those, everyone’s hands are tied.”
“You know you can stay here as long as you want. There’s no rush for you guys to move out.”
I would move into a rental, but so far, my new company has only secured one client and I have no money. I’m trying to get my business off the ground—pun intended—but it’s been a hard go so far.
In the meantime, I’m also doing a courier service for the insanely wealthy or big companies when they require small items within a very short time. Some bigwig in New York City is having me shuffle paperwork that has to be signed and witnessed. It allows them to receive it in minutes versus hours. I think it’s crazy, but they pay the money and I need a lot of it since my brother isn’t paying me, not that I’d take it anyway.
I smile at my sister and her big heart. “I do. I appreciate that.”
“But I’m driving you nuts . . .”
“It’s not you, Brynn, it’s that I want to get Jett settled. I need to be his father full-time now and that means a home I can raise him in.”
The entire reason I gave up my lifelong dream of being a pilot was for him. To give my son the life his mother wanted him to have. One where he can run and play, be around horses, give him a family life like I had growing up. I would do anything for my son and to honor my late wife’s memory.
“Well, I love having you both here and you are raising Jett now, Grady. We all need a little help from family.”
And really, it’s been great having Brynn around too. She’s amazing with Jett and he adores her.
My wife died when Jett was four weeks old. It was the worst thing that ever happened and I was lost. I had just under four years left on my commission, which I finished out, but during that time, I was a part-time dad.
Shortly after his birth, the navy was sending me overseas for six months, Lisa and I knew it was coming, we were prepared. What I wasn’t prepared for was to be without her and moving Jett to live in Oklahoma with his grandparents. It wasn’t ideal, but it was the reality of our situation.
When I got back, he was happy there. He had fun with his nana and pop, playing on the farm his mother grew up on, and we agreed that while I was finishing out my commission, they’d keep him there and we’d have regular visits.
Now I have him, and I want all the time back that I missed.
I smile at my sister and nod. “It’s not like any of us will be far from each other once I move out.”
“True. Don’t forget, tomorrow we have dinner with the family to celebrate Rowan’s big news.”
“The one where we pretend we don’t know he just bought another two-hundred acres?”
She grins. “That one.”
“Why the hell did he pay that much for it?”
“Because he was in a bidding war with Charlotte Sullivan.”
I roll my eyes. “So he paid way over what he should’ve just to win?”
Brynn laughs softly. “You said the magic words—he won. That’s all that matters when it comes to her and that entire family.”
My brother is a damn idiot.
“Listen, I was thinking about you.”
“This is never good.”
“Shut up. Anyway, I was thinking that you should get out and meet people,” she says as she shoves some papers in her bag.
I stare at my sister like she just grew horns. “Meet who?”
“People! You need to make friends or date someone.”
“I have friends.”
She crosses her arms over her chest. “You don’t. You have siblings. We’re not friends. I’m serious, it’s been just under four years and . . . I don’t know, you should get out there again.”
It’s not the first time I’ve heard this. However, I have no desire. I loved my wife. I lost her, and I would really prefer to keep myself safe from that level of pain again.
Besides, I am focused on Jett and starting a business. Now is not the time to deal with this, and my sister, while coming from a good place, doesn’t get that.
“It’s not all that easy to find dates when you don’t know anyone. Besides, I’m enjoying getting to know the town. I don’t have time to go out and . . . deal with that shit.”
“So you do want to date again?”
“No. I don’t want to date anyone.”
She continues as though I didn’t say that. “I have this friend, you’d be perfect together.”
“I’m not dating your fitness friend.” I swear to God.
“Why not? You said you don’t have time to meet people, I know people. There you go.”
I sigh heavily. “I don’t need you to set me up.”
“You need someone to step in.”
“No. I don’t.”
“Listen, go out with Margaret. She’s sweet, beautiful, has a good job, and likes kids. I have a reservation and everything for you.”
“Cancel it,” I say through gritted teeth.
Jett comes back in the room. “Daddy, I have shoes!”
I’m so not done with this conversation, but I’m not having it in front of Jett. I turn to look at my son and shake my head. “You do, bud, but you have two different ones on, and they are on the wrong feet.” I lift him up into my arms, and he laughs as I roar like a lion. “Come on, let’s go find the right ones. See ya later, Brynn. And I mean it, cancel it because I’m not going.”
“We’ll see! Have a good day, boys! Love you!”
Once I get him fixed, I grab both our bags and get on the road to head to the daycare, leaving my sister’s asinine idea at the house. The drive there Jett seems fine, he’s watching something on the iPad on our twenty-minute trek. Finding childcare was nothing like I thought it would be. We only have one in town, which had a waitlist, but thankfully, there was an opening in his classroom and we were able to jump the line since Brynlee helped the owner out of a legal issue a few months back.
When we pull up, Jett is looking out the window with a pouty face on.
Please don’t let today be like yesterday.
“Let’s go, bud,” I say as I take his hand and we walk to the building.
It’s been an adjustment for all of us. The first few weeks after we got here, it was fun. I showed him around, spent the days going to the park and for ice cream, but now I have to get our lives going.
“No school, Daddy.” He pulls on my arm as we reach the front.
I crouch down. “I know it’s hard, you miss Nana and Pop, and our home, but this school is fun. Your teachers are nice and . . .” I’m explaining this to a three-year-old who doesn’t care, but I don’t know what I’m doing, and this seems like the best option. So I go back to my original point in negotiations. “School is fun.”
“No fun.”
No, it’s probably not. I hated school, but alas, he has to go.
“Hey there, Jett,” a soft voice says from behind me.
When I turn to look at the speaker, my breath lodges in my throat. This woman is stunning. She has long blond hair that is pulled to her right shoulder, the warmest, most beautiful blue eyes I’ve ever seen, and she’s holding the hand of a little girl who is identical to her.
“You must be Jett’s dad, I’m Addison and this is Elodie. They’re in class together.”
I rise and clear my throat. “I am.” I extend my hand. “I’m Grady Whitlock.”
“Oh! Oh wow! I never put two and two together. I’m Addison Davis. I moved here a few years ago, I’m not really all that sure about who is who, and I swear people show up and I feel dumb not knowing them . . . and . . . I’m rambling,” she says with a laugh. “Let me try this again. I know your brother, Asher, from working at Run to Me.”
“Run to Me?”
I don’t know what the hell that is.
“Yes, it’s the safe haven in town for runaways. I’m one of the founders. My friend, Blakely, is the other owner out in Oregon.”
“That’s great. Welcome to Sugarloaf. Although, I guess I should be hearing the same since I never really lived here.”
“No? I didn’t know that.”
I shake my head. “My mother moved here when Brynn was young, but I was in college and . . . since then, it was the military for me.”
“Thank you for your service.”
I shake my head. “No thanks needed.”
I’m always so uncomfortable when people say that. I did what I did because I wanted to do it. I loved my job, flying, everything about it, and I don’t feel I did anything extraordinary. Sure, it’s not something everyone does, but it doesn’t require my thanks.
“You have it anyway.”
Elodie starts to grumble. “I want to paint, Mommy!”
At the same time, Jett starts in. “No. School!”
“Does this get easier?” I ask Addison.
“Not even a little bit, but Elodie hated school at first. She was always with me or family. So, when I had to get her in here, it was a shock. He’ll settle in. They’re really great here.”
I nod, hoping that’s true. “If you say so.”
She lifts Elodie into her arms. “Stay firm and show no mercy.”
“Solid advice.”
“Do you want some help?” Addison offers. “They say it takes a village.”
Not wanting to feel like a complete loser who can’t even get his kid inside a daycare, I flash a grin and shake my head. “I got this. I was a squadron leader and if I could get those infants to listen, I can handle this.”
Jett pulls on my arm harder.
Addison watches him try to rip it from the socket and pulls her lips in, fighting a smile. “Okay. Good luck, then. I should get her in, I need to relieve my overnight staff.”
“Of course.”
“It was great meeting you. I’m sure we’ll see each other around.”
Not if I can help it. I have no time for friends or women who are beautiful. If I even mention this, my sister will get ideas and God knows she doesn’t need more of those.
“Great meeting you too.”
She enters the building as Jett tugs my arm, this time I swear something pops as he attempts to move to the car. “Not happening, my man.”
And then . . . he throws a fit that I was not prepared for.
He flops to the ground, screaming and kicking his legs. “No school. No school!” Over and over, he yells as I heft him into my arms and try to pin his legs to stop him from kicking me repeatedly. People are staring, watching as I take my inconsolable toddler into daycare.
The front desk doesn’t judge, the woman there smiles. “I see Jett isn’t excited today?”
“Huh?” I ask, unable to fully hear her over the wailing in my ear.
“Not happy?” she shouts back.
“What was your first clue?” I say with a smile to avoid her thinking I’m being a dick.
She laughs and then walks me down the hall and opens the classroom door. Addison sneaks past me, giving me a tight-lipped smile that’s full of understanding.
The teacher walks over, and I put Jett down but hold his arms tenderly. “Jett, enough.”
He doesn’t agree. He keeps going.
I have been in some pretty intense situations. On a deployment, we were doing routine flight maneuvers and I lost an engine. It was something I’d trained for, but in that moment, it jolts you a bit. I relied on my training, stayed calm, and got us back on deck without issues.
There’s no training manual for this.
“Jett, buddy, you gotta stop,” I try again as his tears break my heart.
The teacher is beside me, her hand on my shoulder as she tries to reason with him. “Jett, we are going to play with the trucks soon, do you want to come?”
He turns his head away.
“No trucks, huh? Well, Ms. Jamie is coloring, would you like to color?”
He doesn’t respond, but the yelling has at least stopped. Now we’re just all being ignored.
The teacher fights back a laugh. “I could see how coloring isn’t that fun. Your daddy flies planes, right?”
That gets him to meet her gaze.
I answer for him. “I do. Jett loves the planes.”
She gasps, which is clearly meant for show, but he eats it up a little more. “I love planes too! Do you know that we also have planes to play with?”
He turns to face her a little more. “Planes?”
“Yes, we have a whole bin right there.”
Jett’s watery gaze looks to me and then the area where the bin is. I feel his death grip on my hand start to ease, the planes are going to be what gets him to go, I just have to wait him out. The teacher extends her hand, and he lets go of mine and takes hers.
Crisis averted.
I stand here, unsure of what to do when the other teacher comes over. “It gets easier.”
“Does it?”
“I’ve seen the kids who were the worst now run to the building. He’ll get there.”
I watch my son, who has had his whole life uprooted, push the plane around the rug that has roads printed on it. He has always been a happy kid. Every time I visited or we video called, he smiled the whole time and never misbehaved. Now that he’s with me all the time, it feels different.
“What now?” I ask.
She tilts her head to the door. “Now you leave in stealth mode. We have this, Mr. Whitlock.”
I’m glad someone does because I definitely don’t.
When I get outside, Addison is there, running her hands through her hair as she paces. “I understand that, but I have to get to work. I can’t wait hours for him to sober up enough.”
I walk over and call her name. “Addison? Everything okay?”
She pulls the phone from her ear. “I have a flat and no spare and the tow company can’t get here until who knows when.”
“Can your husband or someone pick you up?”
“I’m a widow and . . . you know, it’s fine. I’ll call a friend and just wait a while.”
Her words strike through me. She lost her spouse as well and is raising her daughter on her own. Much like me.
By the time someone else gets out here, it’ll be a half hour. I’m right here and in no big rush to get to the airport.
“Or I could drive you,” I offer.
Her eyes widen. “No, I don’t want to inconvenience you by going all the way in the center of town. I’m sure I can find someone.”
“I don’t mind. I was going your way anyway. Please, let me drive you.”
“Are you sure?” she asks hesitantly.
“Of course.”
It’s not like I can be late since my brother doesn’t pay me.
“You’re a lifesaver. Thank you.”
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