Chapter One
Brynlee
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride,” the reverend says as all the guests erupt in applause. The youngest of my older brothers is now officially married and I can barely contain myself.
Rowan and Charlotte—once his mortal enemy, now his wife—turn to face us, lifting their entwined hands and then heading down the aisle of the beautiful barn with white gossamer lining the rows.
The wedding party follows them. I’m paired up with Micah, Rowan’s very handsome ranch manager, and together we move outside where I hug and kiss my new sister and my brother.
“Congrats, you guys,” I say, feeling so much joy for them that I can barely contain myself.
“Thanks, Brynn. We couldn’t have done this without your help,” Charlotte says with a smile.
I scoff. “It was nothing. I love weddings and we had fun planning.”
Addison, my brother Grady’s fiancée, myself, and Faye, who is Charlotte’s best friend, worked tirelessly to get this wedding planned in a month. Since Asher and Phoebe are getting married next month, they were super preoccupied and couldn’t help much. Not to mention they have a baby and she’s in grad school.
It’s been nonstop with the Whitlock men finding women who were kind enough to take on their ridiculousness. As much as I joke, I love my brothers. They have been more like father figures to me than anything, since I’m so much younger than them.
Asher is the oldest, he’s the one who dropped everything in his life to come move to Sugarloaf after our mom died. He took custody of me, raised me, and has been my rock. “You did good, kid,” Asher says, moving to my side and grinning down at me.
I exhale and smile up at him. “I’m really not a kid anymore.”
“You’ll always be a kid to me.”
I glance over at his fiancée, who is younger than me. “What do you call Phoebe then? Infant?” He grumbles under his breath and I fight back a laugh. “I’m kidding. I’m glad you approve.”
“When have I ever disapproved of you?” he asks.
“When have I ever done anything to make you?”
He grins. “Never.”
And that’s because I’m a genuinely happy person. I love. I laugh. I forgive. I live my life with a cautious but open optimism. Bad things happen to good people and it’s up to each of us how we handle it. Lord knows I’ve had enough bad to last me a lifetime, but I choose not to let it define me.
I thank my brothers for that.
Each of them has shown what strength in the face of turmoil looks like.
“I learned from you fools what not to do,” I tell Asher, and he chuckles.
Where Asher was more of a parent, Grady was already enlisted in the navy, so he couldn’t be here as much, but he was always checking in. He lost his wife almost four years ago and found love again, despite initially refusing to even consider it.
Rowan was the opposite of them. He is my fun brother. The one who snuck me alcohol, took me to parties that I definitely shouldn’t have gone to, and encouraged me to make bad choices whenever I could get away with them.
Lord knows he made enough bad choices.
However, Charlotte was not a bad choice. She was the right one, and they were dealing with so many changes to their businesses, it was just easier to have a quick and small wedding.
“Pelt him in the face,” Grady says as he hands me the bag of birdseed.
“Or not,” I warn. “Because neither of you have good aim and you’ll end up hitting Charlotte.”
Seriously, what is wrong with men?
Grady gives me the stink eye. “You’re no fun.”
I swear, it doesn’t matter how old they are, they’re all still immature.
Rowan and Charlotte exit the barn with all of us waiting in rows for them outside. They stop at the doors, kiss, and we all clap and toss the birdseed up in the air. Thankfully my brothers behave and don’t use the seeds as projectiles. The guests move around to the standing tables where there is food and champagne. Meanwhile, the bridal party marches back inside to arrange the barn into a reception.
Rowan and Charlotte will spend the next hour taking photos while the guests stay in the outside area around the barn for a more laid-back, cocktail party. It’s beautiful and honestly the perfect setup.
However, this part inside the barn isn’t fun.
Asher and Grady are setting up the tables and I’m making sure the chairs are correct based on the seating chart.
“Remind me again why we didn’t hire a company to do this?” Grady asks as he’s heaving another table over.
“Because it’s expensive and we’re free labor,” I remind him.
“That’s right.”
We both smile and get back to it. It takes a good thirty minutes of us working together to get things put in the right spots. Phoebe and Addison are hanging more gossamer and my niece, Olivia, is throwing flower petals everywhere.
I let out a long sigh, surveying the room. It’s really pretty. So perfect for them.
“Can you help me put the rest of these nameplates out?” Phoebe asks.
“Of course.”
We go around setting up the nameplates. I take the bridal table and then do a little rearranging of where Charlotte put the town troublemakers—everyone knows you can’t put Mr. Cooke next to Albert. There always needs to be a buffer.
“Who is Carson Knight?” Asher asks, looking at one of the nameplates.
Grady walks over. “Oh, that’s Rowan’s new boss and the guy I work for in New York. Good guy. I bet he gives great gifts.”
I roll my eyes. “Yes, because either of them is the slightest bit materialistic. I’m sure they just want a good working relationship with him.”
“Speaking of work, how is it going with your new company?” Phoebe asks.
I’m currently in the final stages of starting my own crisis management PR company with Catherine Cole’s friend Thea in New York City. I spent a month with Catherine in California and absolutely loved my job. She owns one of the biggest PR companies that handles mostly celebrities, but she started in the corporate sector. While living in Pennsylvania and working in Manhattan isn’t ideal, I have a plan to make it work. I can head into the city when I need to while we’re building and I’ll move when I can afford it. Because last week we signed the papers, and yesterday I made the largest bank transfer I’ve ever made in my life. Which means I sure as hell can’t afford to live anywhere but in my cottage that’s free.
I’m so excited. Thea and I already have meetings set up with potential clients and I am ready to take this industry by storm.
“It’s great, we are just waiting for the paperwork back from the state and then we’re in business.”
“Nothing like going to college for half your life to not use the degree,” Asher says offhandedly.
I know he doesn’t agree with me leaving law, but I really didn’t like it. “Would you rather I throw my life away and be unhappy?”
“Of course not!”
“Then, shut up. I invested my savings in something I’m passionate about. Which is what you would’ve told me to do.”
Phoebe slaps his chest and then turns to me. “I’m so happy for you, Brynn. I know you wanted to stay with Catherine’s PR company, but this is really great. Hey, maybe you can chat up this Carson Knight guy and get him as your first client. I know billionaires usually need crisis management.”
I laugh and turn to my brother. “What table is he at?”
Asher’s eyes narrow. “The one I’m standing at . . .”
“Right.” Well, this is pure luck because it’s my table.
“How about we put him next to you since he doesn’t have a plus one, and . . . you’re by far the nicest Whitlock, and will make him feel welcome,” Addison suggests.
Yes, that’s my role in life, to make everyone happy and comfortable. However, it’s what I’m good at. I’ve always been this way and it’s not bad to do nice things for others. It just sometimes gets my heart into trouble.
“All right,” I agree, and hope to make a good impression.
Phoebe is right, maybe this will work in my favor. Lord knows I can’t afford to screw around, since I drained my life savings to start up my company.
Not to mention, I’ve been sending my dad money to help with his medical appointments for the last six months without my brothers knowing, and I’m about to have a whole heap of them myself.
Which is something I want to address with them, but it needs to wait until after this wedding and then Asher’s in a few weeks.
I just need to make sure they’re happy before I have them all mad at me.
“This is as good as it’s going to get,” Grady says, looking around.
I smile because it’s amazing. Charlotte and Rowan are going to be so happy. “We did good.”
“We really did.”
We open up the big barn doors and usher the guests in. They fill the room, taking their seats, and many ooh and aah as they see how beautiful it is now. You’d never believe this is the same room where Rowan and Charlotte just got married.
I say hello and make small talk with some of the people at my table. After a few minutes, I head to the bar and get a glass of wine while there’s no line. Once I have my glass, I turn to head back and see the seat next to me is now taken. Good, I get to meet a stuffy billionaire and hopefully win him over.
I take a few deep breaths and get to my seat, and when a pair of ice blue eyes meet mine, my breath stops.
I can’t think. I can’t move. Everything inside of me is screaming that I need to leave. To get out of here.
Because it can’t be him.
Crew.
No. Oh, God. No. No, this can’t be.
My heart is pounding so hard in my chest I swear it’ll bruise. I look at him, trying to piece together how this man is sitting at my brother’s wedding in a chair next to me reserved for Carson Knight.
He stands. “Brynlee.”
“Crew?”
This is not Carson Knight. This is Crew Knight.
“Actually, it’s Carson.”
And then it hits me.
He lied to me. He lied about everything, including his name.
For years I’ve dreamed of this man who I spent a week wrapped up with. A week where I bared my soul to him, allowing him to love me the way I loved him in the limited time we had.
I’ve clung to that feeling. The way he looked at me, touched me, made me feel as though I was everything in the world that mattered.
And then he left me.
I shake my head. No. No, I will not stand here. I turn, feeling sick, and move around the table, past my new sister-in-law, Phoebe, and Addison. One of them calls my name, but I rush into the bathroom and close myself in a stall.
I’m shaking as the reality of my life crashes around me. Crew Knight is actually Carson Knight, who must’ve thought it was cute to change his name for a spring break trip. What an asshole.
I can’t go back out there. I can’t possibly see him, talk to him, sit next to him. Not happening. I’ll just stay here the rest of the day. It’s fine. No one will even notice.
“Brynn?” Charlotte calls and my plan is going to be thwarted, I can feel it.
“I’m not here.”
“Well, since you answered, I know that’s a lie. Are you sick?”
I rest my head on the wall. “No.”
“Upset?”
“I’m not here anymore. I’ve left this earth.”
She laughs at that. “And yet I hear your voice, are you a ghost?”
“I wish.”
“Why?”
Why? Because Charlotte invited the man I thought was going to be my forever. I loved him. I really did. I dreamed of him asking me to marry him, and when he left me that morning, I wanted to die.
Dramatic? Sure.
Do I give a shit? Not a bit.
“Is she okay?” I hear Phoebe’s voice.
“She’s in the bathroom—dead, but talking,” Charlotte calls back.
“You’re all going to be dead if you don’t let me wallow,” I warn.
The door opens and Charlotte, Addison, and Phoebe are standing there, looking at me sitting on the toilet seat.
“What if I was peeing?” I ask.
“Then you would’ve locked the stall,” Phoebe says back with one brow raised. “Do you want to explain why you ran into the bathroom?”
“Crew is here,” I say, knowing they won’t understand, but hoping it’s enough of an answer.
Charlotte purses her lips and slowly shakes her head. “I don’t know anyone here by that name and since it’s my wedding and all, I know the guest list.”
“Crew is Carson.”
“What?”
I explain it all, because they’re my family and they’re not my brothers, so they’re less likely to kill anyone or threaten to do that.
All these years and it took only one look in his eyes for everything to come flooding back. The day we met, the smiles, the kisses, the way he held me at night on the beach, telling me he would love me until the end of time. Falling in love in just days, looking forward to the years we’d have going forward.
But that was a lie too.
How can you love someone and then walk away without a goodbye?
“Wow,” Phoebe says, knowing the entire story of my past, since it sort of entwines with hers. “Was he your first after . . . him?”
She doesn’t need to explain who she means since I’ve only been with two men. The first one also ruined Phoebe’s life. “Yes.”
“Wow,” she says again. “Okay, so what do you need?”
I look up, not sure what the hell she means. “Need?”
“Yeah, do we change and go dig a hole, or are we ignoring him? Hoping he leaves? Do we pretend we don’t know your story? What do you need from us?” Charlotte answers.
“I always wanted sisters,” I say, tears welling up.
My brothers are great. I love them, I really do, but more often than not, I’m cleaning up their messes. They mean well, but they’re dumb boys and they fuck up—a lot. For the first time, I feel like I have people behind me, a squad that will have my back—and I’m so overwhelmed.
“Now you have them,” Addison says with a smile. “However, you have to get out there, you can’t hide out in the bathroom if you want to not look like this bothers you.”
I hear shouting from outside the bathroom and Rowan’s voice cuts through our girl time.
“Charlotte?”
“Go away!” I yell to my brother.
He groans. “I didn’t call for you! Everyone is waiting for us to have our first dance, wife.”
Charlotte looks to me and then the other girls. With a sigh, she answers him. “I’ll be out in a minute. Stall them!”
“Stall?” he asks, confusion in his voice. “How?”
Phoebe replies, “Tell jokes, dance, do a jig, we’ll be out when we can.”
I can’t do this. I can’t go out there. The idea of seeing Crew after I just ran away is horrifying. My stomach churns at the thought of seeing him again, and I break.
Tears start to roll down my face and the girls gather around me.
The door slams and then my brother is there, hands balled into fists as though he can fight the world. “What’s going on? Who hurt you?”
But it’s him I want to fight. He invited Crew and being mad at my brothers is much easier than the hurt I feel inside. “You did!”
“Me? What the hell did I do? I got married!” Rowan looks as though he’s on the brink of losing his shit.
Charlotte steps in front of me, blocking my view and squaring off to her husband. “You invited Carson Knight?”
“You knew the guest list. He’s our new boss. Of course, I invited him.”
Charlotte huffs. “You didn’t tell me he dated your sister!”
He looks around Charlotte, his blue eyes finding mine. “You dated him?”
“Yes, but I didn’t know it was him!”
“Oh my God, can someone please explain what the hell is going on here?” The exasperation in his voice echoes in the small space.
I want to tell him the story, but he’ll never understand. Not only that, he’ll probably flip out because . . . brothers.
So, I need to pull my shit together and stop this crap. I’m stronger than this.
Addison and Phoebe help me to my feet and I shake out my pretty dress.
“I didn’t know Carson Knight was the Carson Knight that you knew.”
He looks like he’s on the brink of losing it. “Brynn, I’m lost, and I really need you to dumb it down for me.”
I move close to him, keeping my voice even. “Do you remember when I went to the Outer Banks in college?”
“I don’t remember what I ate for breakfast.”
Men. I roll my eyes and sigh heavily. “Okay, Row. I went to the Outer Banks every spring break during college. It was my favorite thing I did with my sorority sisters. We rented the house on the beach, and we’d party and whatnot. My junior year, we went and the house next to us was a frat from up north. We hung out, partied with them, and I met Crew.”
“Who the fuck is Crew?”
“Carson.”
He turns to his wife. “Is this some kind of wedding prank? Like, you get my sister to pretend she’s lost her mind and then fuck with me to see if my head explodes?”
“If it was, I’d be having a lot more fun.”
Yeah, we’d all be having fun if this was a joke, but it’s not. Although sometimes it feels like my life is part of a comedy skit.
Rowan looks back to me. “So, again, who is Crew?”
“Crew is really Carson.”
“As in, my new boss? The billionaire who owns Knight Food Distribution and those other companies?”
I nod. “The same one and I didn’t know.”
“I’m trying to keep calm and follow this, but can someone please tell me what has her crying?” Rowan asks us.
“She loved him,” Addison explains.
“And he left her,” Phoebe chimes in.
“And now she finds out that he lied to her about who he was. All this time, she’s searched for him, thinking his name was really Crew, and now he’s at our wedding because you invited him,” Charlotte adds on.
“My fault, got it.”
Charlotte smiles. “Learning early, husband.”
“Do you want me to kick his ass?” Rowan asks.
“No!” all four of us yell.
“Then what the hell is the point of this? I’ll throw him out, respectfully, so I can afford to live, and tell Crew/Carson he can’t be here because he dated my sister however many years ago and she’s crying in the bathroom.”
Charlotte goes to him, rolling her eyes. “You need to go back out there, tell the DJ to cue up our song and play it in three minutes. We’re going to get Brynn ready, and she’s going to march out there being the badass woman she is, not even looking at him again.”
Rowan huffs and leaves, then the girls move to help me. We clean up my face and fix my dress. I stand in front of the mirror, smoothing my long, reddish hair, and sigh. “I can do this.”
“You absolutely can,” Addison says and then kisses my cheek. “I’m going to check on Grady and make sure Elodie and Jett didn’t destroy the cupcakes. Since these kids can find trouble anywhere they go.”
She heads out, then Charlotte pulls me in for a hug. “I’m sorry he’s here, but . . . let him look at what he walked away from and eat his heart out because you’re beautiful, smart, and he should’ve seen that.”
I grin. “Thank you.”
Then it’s just me and Phoebe.
Of everyone, she and I are closest. Phoebe is the only one outside my brothers who knows about my past. She knows about the man I loved when I was only sixteen, who told me he loved me, would always love me, and then took advantage of that trust.
Phoebe understands better than anyone else possibly could, since the same man did the same thing to her.
I didn’t think I could ever trust a man again, give a part of my heart to another, until I met Crew.
Phoebe takes my hand. “We’re all here for you, Brynn.”
I squeeze it back. “I know.”
“Do you want to sit with Asher? I’ll totally sit next to Carson and drive him crazy,” she proposes, and I laugh.
“No, but I love you for offering.”
“You know, after Jonathan, I never thought I’d ever trust anyone again.” A tremor runs up my spine at the mention of his name. “Asher showed me that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes. He gave me a safe place to be who I am and he loves me, despite all my faults and insecurities. If he left me now, I’d be broken, but . . . I’d be so grateful for the healing he’s helped me have too. Maybe that’s what this guy gave you, a way to be stronger after the hell you endured.”
Crew had been exactly that. Ours was an honest type of relationship. While it was only a week, it was seven days that felt like years. My cheeks would hurt at night from smiling so much because he just made me happy.
“It wasn’t even hard to fall for him,” I explain. “It was as though I conjured the perfect man and there was Crew. He was funny, sweet, talked to me about his fears and worries like we had endless time before us. I thought we’d at least try, not that he’d disappear in the middle of the night.”
Phoebe gives me a soft smile. “He’s here though. He had to know who you were.”
“How? He knows Rowan Whitlock, but it’s not like he knew he was my brother.”
“Maybe not, but hiding in here isn’t going to get your answers. I’m not exactly the authority on men, but I don’t know many guys who come to weddings for their business contractors, you know? I kind of think he had another reason to come to Sugarloaf.”
A flicker of hope starts to ignite, but I snuff it out quickly. If he does have another reason, I’m going to find out, and then I’m going to guard my heart.
Chapter Two
Carson
I’m torn between going to find her and leaving. I shouldn’t have come. When I got the invite, I told my assistant to decline, but somehow, it slipped through the cracks and she forgot. Then, a few days ago, I had a meeting with Rowan about the increase in goods we’d like to move toward, and he mentioned the wedding, how he hoped I could make it. Then he said his sister, Brynlee, was driving him and Charlotte nuts.
The second I heard the name everything changed.
I knew I had to see her.
It’s crazy, since it’s been ten years and I wasn’t exactly what you’d call a good guy the way I disappeared, but time has passed and she’s never left my thoughts.
Not ever.
Not even when I married my ex-wife Jacqueline.
Our marriage wasn’t exactly born of love, it was arranged through our families. A merging of assets. One where children of wealthy families have an understanding of what’s expected and we were pawns who fell in line.
It was utter bullshit. The only good thing that came from that marriage was my daughter, Layla.
Fuck it. I should go. This was stupid.
As I move to stand, the DJ starts playing music and Charlotte and Rowan take the floor. Then, as if time never passed and we’d been connected all along, I feel her presence.
She pulls the chair out and sits beside me, her eyes just a little puffy and my heart aches at that.
“Brynn . . .”
“Crew, or should I call you Carson?”
I deserve the icy tone in her voice. Ten years ago, I was a fucking idiot. I was twenty-two, had a family breathing down my neck to prepare for my upcoming life, and then my life was flipped on its side because of Brynlee Whitlock.
“Crew is what my friends and family call me.”
She nods. “So you just lied about your name?”
I sit up straight, hating the mistakes I made back then. Everything we shared for that week was real, other than my name. That was the only lie I told. However, I doubt she’ll believe me. Not that I blame her.
“That was truly the only lie I told. Everything else was the truth. Probably more of the truth than I ever told anyone,” I admit. “It kind of happened and then I couldn’t walk it back. I’m sorry.”
She exhales, clasps her hands in her lap and looks at me. Those big brown eyes are exactly like I remember. “All these years, Crew. All this time, and you appear now?”
“I wish I could explain it.”
“Try.”
Okay. I can do that. “Do you want to know why I left that night or why I’m here now?”
Brynn shakes her head with a small smile. “I guess both, but let’s start with why you’re here now.”
“I was invited.”
She huffs. “I walked into that one.”
“I wanted to see you,” I answer honestly. “I didn’t realize Rowan was your brother until he mentioned it the other day, then before I knew it, I changed my entire schedule to be here.”
“You changed your schedule?”
I feel a little stupid admitting that, but it’s the truth. “Yes. To see you.”
“Kind of an insult to the bride and groom.”
I smile. “I’ll make it up in the wedding gift.”
The teasing—just a few seconds of it—and I’m taken back to when we met.
“Come on, Crew!” Ford yelled as I ran toward the football he’d purposely thrown at the sorority girls who were tanning next door.
It was definitely not a bad view. “Sorry, girls!”
A few giggled and the others rolled their eyes as they went back to sunning themselves.
I reached where the football landed, squatted down to look for it, and I saw a pair of long, tanned legs before me, with one foot tapping. Slowly, I let my gaze travel her body, up over her flat stomach, to where a very nice rack was waiting above.
“Hello there,” I said, coming to my full height.
The little redhead looked up. “Hi. Did you lose something?”
“My ball.”
She put her hand on her hip, extending the football with the other. “I figured. Be more careful, not every girl here grew up with a houseful of brothers who threw things.”
“A houseful?” I asked, intrigued.
“Well, three, but if you factor in when they had friends around, the number grew.”
“Crew!” Ford yelled and I lifted my hand up, not even turning to look at him. “Bro!”
The gorgeous girl raised one perfectly arched brow. “You’re being paged.”
“He can wait.”
“He looks pissed.”
I grinned. “Good. He threw the ball at you girls—this is his punishment. He can wait. Now, what’s your name?”
She looked off to the side before meeting my gaze again. “What’s it worth to you?”
“My life,” I said rather dramatically.
“Your life? My name is worth that? Wow, I’m pretty damn important.”
“You are.”
She smiled. “Brynlee.”
“Beautiful name for a beautiful girl.”
That caused her eyes to roll. “Dear God. Does that work on girls at whatever college you go to?”
“Yale.”
Her pouty lips pursed. “Yale? Wow. Smart guys.”
“Goddamn it, Crew! We’re playing a game!” Ford yelled again.
“Some of us were,” I said to Brynlee and then turned to my best friend and threw the ball. “Here. Now fuck off.” Ford flipped me off, I returned the gesture and then went back to the beautiful woman before me. “There. Where were we?”
“I think you were telling me how smart you are with all your cheesy pickup lines,” Brynlee said with a tilt of her head.
The way she talked to me made me want to spend hours with her. She had no idea who I was, where I came from. That gave me a freedom I’d never felt before with a girl. In New York, my family name is known. My grandfather and father are multi-millionaires. Both built an empire that would one day be mine.
I didn’t have the luxury of casual dating or meeting a girl on a beach at home, but here I did.
“How about we take a walk and I’ll try a few of my favorites out on you?” I offered, hoping she’d take the chance.
Her lips pursed. “How do I know you’re trustworthy?”
“You don’t.”
“So why should I go?”
I leaned in, my voice was low and husky. “Because that’s the fun of spring break. You take a risk and hope it pays off.” I extended my hand and waited. Brynlee looked at it, back at my face, and then placed her palm in mine, and that week got infinitely better.
“Do you remember when we met?” I ask, pulling myself from the memory.
“Of course I do. I also remember when you left.” There’s no anger in her tone, just sadness and hurt lingering there. “It was ten years ago. I’ve gotten past it, but I remember.”
“I do too,” I admit. “I was leaving in a day, and I wanted to spend every second with you. I never wanted what we had to end, Brynn. It was fucking incredible, but I didn’t know how to walk away. How did I tell you that my life was already mapped out and we could never be more than just the time we’d spent?”
She lets out a long breath and then stands slowly. “I don’t know, but the way you did it was wrong, and it broke my heart.”
I get to my feet. “It broke mine too.”
Her eyes fill with sorrow and then she forces a smile. “It was a long time ago. I hope you’re doing well. It’s clear you are, since you own the company my brother is doing business with.”
It feels like she’s dismissing me. Not that I blame her. Not that I thought I deserved anything more, but it isn’t what I want. I would give anything to catch up, know more about her life, tell her about mine. To talk to her the way we did when we were kids.
“Do you want me to go, Bee?” I ask.
Her eyes flash at the nickname, but she recovers quickly. “No. You should stay, you were invited, after all. I just need to make my rounds. It was good to see you, Crew.”
I take a step back, allowing her the space to leave. “I hope we can talk again.”
Brynlee smiles again and nods once. “I’m sure we will, since we’re seated next to each other.”
Then she walks away, and I feel the same tear in my heart I did ten years ago.
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