Years Apart

by Audrey Harrison

Genres: Historical Romance; Time Travel Romance

Synopsis

In 1963 Kate is a twenty-three year old widow, still mourning the unexpected death of her husband. An illness results in a change of career and home. She does not believe the stories of the ghost that visits her cottage each year, but she is to be forced down a path she could never have imagined.

In 1944 Joe is fighting for his life on the beaches of Normandy as part of the D-Day invasion. He sees the devastation around him and seeks a few moments peace within the destruction.

Joe finds his solace, but it will lead to his death? Kate can change the course of history, but what will be the consequence?

Will their paths continue to meet, or will they be destined to be years apart?

Release date: October 7, 2012

Print pages: 376

Sample

Hampshire 1963.

 

Chapter 1

 

The murmur of voices seemed to be a long way away, but they were persistent, like a buzzing fly, annoyingly irritating. Kate wanted the noise to go away, she felt comfortable in this distant blackness, but the voices continued. Why could she not be at peace? Eventually she felt no other option but to open her eyes, the voices had become so insistent, she had no other choice. She blinked a few times before her eyes could focus on fifteen worried faces peering down at her.

 

“Mrs Wilson, please keep still, we have sent for Mrs Gill,” said a concerned voice, somewhere near her left ear.

 

Kate groaned as the realisation of what had happened sank in. She had been teaching at her after school French class. The feelings of being unwell had been dismissed in her usual way, but as she had stood in front of the class, a sudden lightheadedness had overtaken her and that was her last thought before waking up, obviously on the floor, with her students surrounding her. She tried to get up, but was restrained by a gentle hand and a plea not to move. In acknowledgement that her girls were worried, Kate made no further attempt to move, but the thought of being seen by her Headmistress in this position did not sit well.

 

Kate did not have long to wait, Mrs Gill came through the door, her presence having the effect of making the girls withdraw a little, everyone was in awe of the formidable woman.

 

“Now, now, Mrs Wilson, we shall soon have you right as rain,” the booming voice said without any hesitation. “Sandra, Stephanie, help Mrs Wilson to her feet and assist her to my office. Come, come, there is no need to fret.”

 

Mrs Gill could not be accused of ever being overwhelmed by any situation, a perfect choice of Headmistress for a girls’ Grammar School, and within a few moments Kate was safely deposited in the office, and commands given for a sweet cup of tea to be made in the staffroom.

 

“I am sure you will feel more like yourself when you have had a cup of tea.” she said reassuringly.

 

“I am so sorry, I don’t know what happened.” Kate said meekly.

 

“No need to apologise, I expect the girls would prefer a collapsing teacher to French verbs any day.” came the quick response.

 

Kate could not help the slight smile escaping, “I know one or two who definitely would.”

 

They were interrupted by the entrance of Sandra with two cups of tea. The girls might be worried, but they knew better than to enter without a cup of tea for Mrs Gill. Both girls were given the responsibility of relaying back to the class that Mrs Wilson was fine, and that everyone should pack up their books, no more French would be taught today. Throughout the issuing of instructions, Kate remained quiet, concentrating on remaining upright in the chair, made easier by the reviving effect the sweet tea had on her.

 

“That’s better, you are looking less ghostlike now, tea is often the cure.” Mrs Gill said approvingly.

 

Kate wondered if the sugar was more restorative, but did not argue with her Headmistress, just smiled and placed her cup back in its saucer. “I am sorry for the fuss, I will make up the time next week and I have disturbed you long enough. I should go.”

 

“I shall send you home in a taxi,” Mrs Gill responded and waved a hand in dismissal at Kate’s protests. “I cannot have you fainting on the bus, Mrs Wilson. I suggest you take a day or two off school until you are feeling fully recovered.”

 

Kate tried to protest, being off school was the last thing she needed. Her girls were the only thing keeping her sane since Ben’s death, and the thought of being at home with only her thoughts for company filled her with dread. She did accept the offer of a taxi though, for she did not feel capable of travelling on public transport, but tried to argue against staying off. “I shall be fine in the morning, I think I may be overtired that’s all. I just need a good night’s sleep.” she insisted.

 

“I have expected this for many months Mrs Wilson,” Mrs Gill said, her expression softening slightly. “I suggest you take a little time off school, you have been driving yourself too hard, and it is time to rest.”

 

Further protestations were on Kate’s lips, but she remained silent, accepting that her Headmistress had spoken, and had ordered her to stay at home for a few days. As much as it galled her, she would accept it. She was escorted into the taxi, kindly but firmly, and wished a speedy recovery.

 

During the journey home she reflected on what had happened. She had been feeling strange for days, but had dismissed it, or was it welcomed it? After all, during the last two years she had not really lived, only existed. She wondered for the latest time without number how something that had seemed so perfect could have gone so wrong.

 

She had fallen in love with Ben when they were thirteen, and they had been the focus of each other’s world since then. Their parents had not taken them seriously at first, who would? Eventually though, they had accepted that they were in love and after they had both finished university, the same one obviously, they had married. Their plans had been simple, Kate to teach in a school until they had a family and then tutor private students at home while their children grew. Ben would work hard and hopefully they could buy a place of their own eventually. Unexceptional, and uncomplicated.

 

Neither had taken Ben’s headaches seriously at first. They were both working hard and just put them down to overtiredness, but when he started to lose his balance, they became concerned. It was not very long before the doctors diagnosed a tumour. The horror of that day, Kate would never forget, especially when they said that nothing could be done and it was only a matter of time, a short time. Two months later Ben had died, peacefully in his sleep, aged twenty-three.

 

The day Ben had died had been the day that Kate stopped living. Yes, she functioned, but she could no longer live. The moment the soil had been thrown onto the coffin at the funeral, was the moment she had completely broken down. How could she leave the love of her life in such a cold place? Family and friends had supported her as much as they could, but they were beginning to see the lack of progress with her grief as foolish. But all she could think was that to carry on living would be a betrayal to his memory, and so she fought against anything which would let it seem as if she was forgetting Ben.

 

Her parents were immediately worried when she arrived home. Kate tried to make light of it, but as she was speaking to her parents she fainted for the second time, this time while she was seated on the chair. When she regained consciousness she was helped to bed and her father summoned the doctor who arrived within the hour and took a long time examining her and asking her questions. When he had finished he sat back on a chair.

 

“I don’t think that this at the moment is anything too serious.” he said to Kate and her parents, who had come back into the room once the examination had been completed.

 

“What do you mean, at the moment?” asked Kate’s father, standing at the end of the bed, frowning at the doctor.

 

“Kate has suffered a great loss and this seems to have sent her into a depression, which is unsurprising really, but she is not responding to her body’s needs as well as she should. She is anaemic by the look of her and I would make the fair assumption that she has not been eating correctly for some time. This, with continuing to work hard, her body has decided to give her a warning. If she starts to listen to her body she will make a full recovery, but failing to listen will see the symptoms increase and worsen, until she is seriously ill.”

 

“What do we need to do?” asked Kate’s mother, looking alarmed, moving round to the side of the bed and taking hold of her daughter’s hand.

 

“She needs complete rest for a couple of weeks, I will prescribe some iron tablets and we will get some blood tests done, and then I would suggest a complete change of scenery, a long holiday if you like. Somewhere where she can recuperate and build up her strength, give those pale cheeks some colour,” he finished, smiling at Kate, “I’m surprised I’ve not been here before! It is fortunate that you are young and strong, or you could have worn out completely.”

 

Kate did not think that this option was such a bad one, but seeing the worried expression on her mother’s face, decided not to mention her thoughts. The doctor left them after taking a blood sample, promising to call back in a couple of days. When Kate’s father returned from seeing the doctor out, she knew she was going to lose the battle for things to stay the same.

 

“I will speak to your Headmistress tomorrow and inform her that you will not be returning to school this term.” her father said firmly.

 

“I cannot let them down like that! They will be short staffed and the French club will cease to exist, there isn’t anyone else willing to do it!” Kate pleaded, knowing full well that to argue was futile. She may be twenty-five years old, but within her home her father very much ruled the roost and to be fair to him, he was only reiterating the instructions of the doctor.

 

“Katherine, you heard what the doctor said, do something now and you will save yourself becoming seriously ill later on. If you think I am standing by while my daughter lets the life drain out of her, you are mistaken. You will rest, and while you are resting you can decide where you wish to go on holiday, and a long one at that. There is nothing further to say on the matter.” Her father took out his pipe and started to light it. His eyes were hard, and the way he tapped and filled the pipe gave out clear signals that what he was saying was not open for negotiation.

 

Kate knew that all the signs were there not to argue with her father, even though she was usually the one who would stand up to him. Their personalities were so similar that over the years they had clashed on many occasions. Even though he was the head of the household and Kate respected that, her spirit was such that she challenged him when she thought he had been unreasonable. This was one of the times though, that Kate did not feel up to fighting with him. To add to her conviction she knew that whenever she was addressed with her full name, it was a lost battle and the way he was pummelling his pipe she knew he was upset, as well as angry, so she accepted what he was saying for the moment at least.

 

 

Chapter 2

 

 

Over the next few days she was treated to breakfast in bed. It was a bit of an unwelcome surprise the first time Claire the housemaid came in quietly with a tray. Kate tried to dismiss her, but Claire had been given strict instructions and although a quiet member of staff, she had been with the family for many years, coming in each day to undertake all the household duties. When challenged by Kate, who told her that she was quite capable of making her own breakfast, Claire was firm in her assurances to Kate that she was to have breakfast in bed. Claire opened the curtains and gave clear instructions that if she needed anything, she was to ask her to get it, rather than leave the bed. Kate submitted to the gentle bullying and eventually accepted her help with thanks.

 

The day after she had seen the doctor, she had a visit from Ben’s younger sister Susan. She was two years younger than Kate, but had made up the gang of four that had consisted of Kate, Ben, Kate’s sister Jane, and Susan. They had gone everywhere together, but it had been Ben and Kate who had got into scrapes, each encouraging the other onwards when Jane and Susan had decided that they should stop before getting into trouble. Susan still lived at home and although she spent time with Kate, it was never the same, because being with Ben’s sister reminded Kate of what she had lost, and she found it easier to avoid her than constantly to face up to her.

 

Susan sat on the edge of the bed and took hold of Kate’s hands. “What are we going to do with you?” she asked, her eyes the same blue eyes as Ben’s, looking into Kate’s face worriedly.

 

“It’s nothing to worry about, just over doing things a little.” Kate dismissed her concern.

 

“And not looking after yourself in the process,” Susan added. “It’s been horrible to watch the spirit ebbing out of you since Ben died and not being able to do anything about it. Please start to fight again.” Susan squeezed Kate’s hands as she spoke, and Kate saw tears springing into her eyes.

 

“I’ve been very selfish haven’t I?” Kate suddenly said with shame, realising in an instant how her actions, or lack of action had affected those around her. She was not usually so disregarding of the feelings or needs of others, but it seemed that she had been so wrapped up in her own grief, there had been no room to consider that those around her were also suffering.

 

“What makes you say that?” Susan asked in surprise.

 

“Well you’ve lost a brother and your mother and father have lost a son, but I’ve been walking around in my own little world, not considering anything or anyone else, apart from how I’ve been feeling. I’m so sorry.” Remorseful tears spilled onto Kate’s cheeks.

 

“Hey come on, I’m here to cheer you up, not make you worse!” Susan smiled, reaching for a tissue and passing it to Kate. “Do you think any of us could criticise you for loving Ben the way you do? No, Kate, you haven’t been selfish, if you had you wouldn’t be sitting here now in the state you are.”

 

“I don’t know how to shake off the feelings I have,” Kate whispered, “I know Ben would have hated to see me like this, but it doesn’t get any easier Sue, it really doesn’t.”

 

“I know, but it must. You can’t go on like this. You are right, Ben would hate to know your grief was making you ill. He was one of the best people I knew, and I agree that he can never be replaced, but we all have to let him rest now. It is time to look to all our futures without him. Your Mother has told me about the doctor’s advice and I think it can only do you the world of good.” Susan said in earnest, but with a smile at her friend’s immediate frown.

 

“I’m beginning to think this is a conspiracy!” Kate exclaimed with a shake of the head.

 

“Well, if it’s what it takes to get you something like you used to be, all well and good. We all miss the rebel Kate!” Susan laughed.

 

“That was definitely your brother’s doing,” Kate joined in Susan’s laughter, “I was so quiet until he came on the scene and then that was it, always in trouble. He just needed to flutter his blue eyes at mother and I knew it was me for the high jump every time!”

 

“Yes, they were good times,” Susan agreed, “but it’s time for them to become fond memories Kate. You need to start looking forward.”

 

“If I’m honest I don’t want to, but you are right and I am going to have to try if only to shut you all up.” Kate said with a smile and a sparkle in her eyes.

 

They carried on talking for a while, Kate catching up with what Susan was doing. She did feel guilty that she had not spent much time with her friend, but she did think that it was probably easier for Susan in a way too. Kate told her of the conversation that had gone on with her father, impersonating him well, which sent Susan into peals of laughter, only stopping when tea was brought in by Claire. They parted eventually, both a lot happier with the situation than they had been when they had met. Susan had hoped to show Kate that it was no longer wise to pine for Ben and a small part of Kate’s reluctance to move on was because she would feel awkward if she was having a good time when Ben’s parents still lived next door. She acknowledged to herself after the visit that it was time she started looking after herself more.

 

After a few days without the recurrence of fainting and dizziness Kate was allowed to move downstairs. She spent the days reading. Luckily it was an early spring, so she was able to occasionally open the doors into the garden. The house she lived in with her parents was on the outskirts of a small market town. It was about two hundred years old, being a house of one of the local gentry when it had first been built, and it was no longer the largest house in the area, but it had an air to it as if it was aware of its grand history. Kate had lived in it all her life and loved the feel of the place. The house was in the centre of the land that belonged to it, so it was surrounded by garden and most of the ground floor windows were the full length of the wall and welcomed the garden into the room. Each door had a slightly different view of the garden.

 

The one thing she did not like was the time she spent alone, as she obviously thought more of Ben. She had taken on as much work as possible while at school to stop her brooding, so now that she had too much time on her hands, her thoughts immediately went back to him.

 

She felt a little ashamed sometimes, she was trying to throw her life away and yet he had fought so hard to hang on to his. The conversation with Susan kept coming back to her. She had very often wished she could have changed places with Ben, but that was not to be. She finally came to acknowledge that it was not fair on those around her and the memory of her beloved, and had to accept that this was probably the effects of the depression the doctor had referred too. She was not usually one who looked on the dark side of a situation, but her view had changed when she felt that there was nothing left to live for. She did try to snap out of her thoughts when they turned in such a dark direction, she was lucky to have the support she had from her family, but it was hard to want to live without Ben in her life. He would have been very angry with her if he could see her now and she had to acknowledge to herself that she hoped he could not.

 

One thing she became sure of very quickly was that she did not want her father and the doctor forcing her to go on holiday. She raised the subject with her father two weeks after she had fainted.

 

“I don’t want to go on holiday, Father. I can think of nothing worse than going away from my family, to go to a place where I don’t know anyone and all I can do is think even more. That surely can’t be good for me. Please let me go back to work, I promise to do only the minimum and I won’t let myself get back into that state again. I feel a lot better now.”

 

“I will not agree to you going back to work. It is too soon, but we will speak to the doctor again about the holiday.”

 

“I could go and visit Jane.” Kate suggested. Her sister Jane had moved to Norfolk when she married and had recently had a new baby. Kate thought it may be more beneficial spending time with her sister.

 

“No, that won’t do. You would be in the same position there as here,” her father responded. “I will discuss the options with the doctor.”

 

In looks and personality Kate resembled her father. He was as dark as she was, his hair kept extremely short or it would develop into the same curls that Kate found so hard to control. Their eyes were of the same deep green and whatever their feelings on a subject, they were always betrayed by their expression. Kate had been constantly in trouble as she had grown, not being able to hide things from her father, but at the same time it had saved her from many a telling off. Both her father and mother had been not able to continue scolding her when they had seen the mischievousness in her eyes as she tried to suppress her laughter.

 

She was as determined and focused as her father, so it had been natural that out of the two siblings, she was the one who knew that she wanted a career and what that career would be. Her sister was more like her mother, more petite and gentle in her ways. Jane had been happy with life and had looked no further than to fall in love and become a wife and mother. Kate had wanted this too, but with extras. Jane had never wanted to go to University and once she had met Stephen, she was content. She was now happily married and enjoying motherhood. Kate had often wished she was more like her mother, with more of a gentle accepting nature. Being like her father gave her no more advantage in dealing with him when they were in dispute.

 

Kate was amazed she had managed to get her father to agree to be fairly open to options. He was not too strict, but he was impossible to persuade if he had made up his mind on something. Theirs was a very traditional family and whatever her father decided on, that was the law as far as they all were concerned. It would have changed if she had moved away with Ben, but her staying within the family home had meant that even though she was an adult and had been through so much, while she was under her father’s roof, his word was final and he still made the decisions. She knew it was useless to have fought against whatever he decided on, as both her sister and herself had been told in the past, if they did not like his decisions, they could make their own way in the world by moving out. So, although she did not always agree with her him, she did not relish moving out to live alone and having even more time on her hands. She would have to hope that she could persuade the doctor to her way of thinking on his next visit.

 

If she thought she would have an ally with the doctor, she had misread him completely. He agreed she was looking better, but said that it was still early days yet. He also agreed that she may need something to occupy her while on holiday, but he insisted she still needed a change of scenery and suggested a combination of a small amount of light work while she was away, possibly travelling as a lady’s companion or some such job.

 

After the doctor had gone Kate raised spoke again with her father, “Don’t send me to some far off places as a lady’s companion. I didn’t even know they still existed!”

 

“Of course they still exist, I think it’s a perfect solution, it will prevent you from becoming maudlin again anyway.” came the reply Kate feared.

 

“There must be something else, another solution to this. That would be a nightmare.” Kate said in desperation.

 

“Let me see what I can think of.” replied her father.

 

Kate spent the next few days worried what might come of her inevitable trip. It is not the swinging sixties in this house, she thought bitterly to herself. Father’s idea of an acceptable solution might not agree with hers, but she was helpless to change his opinion if her Doctor agreed with him.

 

On the third evening after the doctor’s visit, Kate’s father arrived home from work and over dinner explained that he had found an alternative to the lady’s maid idea.

 

“It was by pure chance that Roberts asked if you knew anyone who could be a governess to his brother’s two children over the summer. He thought you may know someone, what with being a teacher yourself. I updated him on your situation and he immediately contacted his brother and they want to see you tomorrow to be interviewed, and to meet the children. They are going in two weeks, so they are keen to press on and make arrangements.”

 

Kate was not happy about having no control over her situation, but being a governess to children was better than a lady’s companion. “Where are they travelling to?” she asked, admitting defeat, probably quicker than her father had expected.

 

“They go to France every summer, Normandy I think, but their last employee has resigned at the last moment, and left them in the lurch so to speak. Their misfortune could be the solution we were hoping for.”

 

Kate could not help but be a little more interested than she had first been. A trip to France would be wonderful. All summer in a country she had longed to see was appealing, and she asked more questions, sounding enthusiastic about the scheme. She saw that this pleased her father and she acknowledged that perhaps it would be best to get away from her home for a little while. She did raise the subject of Ben’s grave though. She could not go away knowing that his grave would not be attended. Her mother reassured her on that point.

 

“Kate, do you believe that Ben’s parents would allow his grave to be neglected? They have not needed to trouble themselves because of your weekly pilgrimages, but they and I will ensure that it is well cared for.”

 

Kate awoke the next morning with a feeling that she did not recognise at first and then realised with a little tinge of embarrassment that it was excitement. She had not felt that feeling since before Ben became ill. She did feel a little guilty about having this feeling, but she managed to shake the guilt off to some extent. She knew she would have to submit to the doctor and her father, so it might as well be doing something she would enjoy.

 

She took a taxi to the house of Mr and Mrs Roberts. It was large and well kept, in the best part of nearby Petersfield. She alighted at the front gate and walked up to the house along the substantial sweeping drive. She was able to take in the splendour of the house as she walked. It was an old Georgian style house, very symmetrical and had a grand frontage, two large pillars framing the doorway. To the front of the house was an area of lawn, at the side of a drive, but there was no sign that children lived there and she thought it was a shame that all the space seemed to be very impersonal. She hoped the family were not quite as imposing as the house. She was not afraid of approaching them, but knew that if she were to spend the summer with these people, she hoped that they were friendly. It was obviously a very wealthy family.

 

Kate was led into the house by the butler and taken to Mrs. Roberts. She met her with a little trepidation, but was soon put at ease. Mrs Roberts might live in grand surroundings, but was very pleasant and welcoming. She was a lot younger than Kate had expected and could only be in her early thirties. She interviewed Kate about her experience and qualifications. Kate responded to the questions that were posed to her, they were intelligent and based on the motivation of gaining the best for her children, which Kate appreciated. Mrs Roberts was pleased that Kate was fluent in French, she wanted the children to develop their skills over the summer. After the questions were over and they had discussed the practicalities of Kate joining them, they went to meet the children.

 

As Kate was being led to the nursery, she looked curiously at the large house she was being taken through. Although it was grand, it did feel like a home. Mrs Roberts explained that the house had been in their family for generations and each new generation tried to keep the homely feeling to it on the inside. They finally arrived at the nursery on the top floor. Mrs Roberts opened the door into a large room. As she entered the children ran over and hugged her. Their nanny smiled at their outburst and came over to greet the visitors. She was about Kate’s age, but smaller in height, with very dark hair tied in a tight bun and large brown eyes. She looked friendly and it was obvious that she was held in affection by the children and Mrs Roberts, as the children chattered to their mother about what they were doing with Nanny.

 

Kate was introduced formally to both children, which made her smile. At least in front of their mother they had impeccable manners, she wondered if they would be a handful behind her back. Samuel was nine and very polite. He looked like his mother, with blonde hair and pale blue eyes. He seemed quite shy and Kate warmed to him immediately. Louisa was eleven and more boisterous than her brother. She was polite, but Kate suspected that she was a real livewire underneath. She was taller than average and had darker blonde hair, but the same pale blue eyes as her brother. Kate had never seen such pale blue eyes before, they looked almost grey. Both children responded to their mother and the nanny without any question and Kate admitted to herself that they probably were well behaved most of the time. She asked them questions about their lessons and what they were looking forward to on the trip.

 

When she returned downstairs, she asked Mrs Roberts about her role. “Will I be totally responsible for the children?” she asked.

 

“Oh, no, Nanny will also be travelling with us. I want them to take part in lessons during the morning until early afternoon and then they will have some quiet time before some outside activities. Your duties will end once Nanny takes over at quiet time. You will be free to do as you please for the rest of the day. I expect lessons to occur Monday to Saturday. Sunday would be your day off. Although I want them to continue with their lessons throughout the summer, I am not expecting it to be all work and no play. I will not dictate what you need to teach, but I want the holiday to add to their overall education, rather than sitting in the classroom all day learning the three R’s.”

 

This appealed to Kate. She would be able to try and teach the children an appreciation of the language and the area and she would have time to explore Normandy during the afternoons and on Sundays, hopefully satisfying her love of History and French. She also thought that the teaching commitment would satisfy both the Doctor and her father’s demands for taking it easy. They could not complain at six mornings’ work with only two children.

 

She was told they would be staying in a large property just outside Hermanville-sur-Mer, quite close to the coast. Most of the staff would be staying in the house, but there were a few staff cottages in the grounds, one of which she would be staying in. She was told about the travel arrangements and they went through the practicalities of her employment. The wages would not be huge, but she would have no living costs while with the family, so she was happy with the offer, and accepted the position.

 

Kate left Mrs Roberts feeling pleased about her new job and looked forward to meeting the family again in two weeks. Surprisingly, both the job and the trip had appealed to her and from what she had seen of the children, she would enjoy spending time with them, her teaching instinct had already started to plan some of the things they could perhaps do over the summer. It was not an unwelcome feeling to be looking forward, instead of longing for something in the past.

 

 

Chapter 3

 

 

Kate told her parents she had accepted the job, but as the days passed she realised that two weeks was not very long to prepare for months away from home. She visited her school and had an interview with the Headmistress. She had not looked forward to this visit, she felt as if she was letting the school and her pupils down, but she found her Headmistress understanding of the situation. Kate’s father had spoken at length with her when Kate had first become ill, so the news that she was not returning was no real surprise. The interview with her father had enabled the Headmistress to find a short-term replacement and she assured Kate that if she wanted to return in the autumn, her job would still be there.

 

She also visited her History Tutor from University, Dr Rhys. She had been his star pupil when attending University and they had kept in touch ever since. He was a typical professor, with a study piled high with books and papers. He wandered around in complete disarray, but his knowledge was so wide that he kept his students rapt throughout his lectures. Kate had had many evenings in his study with one or two other students, debating a point in history. It was the one aspect of university life she had missed when she left. Dr Rhys was quite envious of her opportunity and made her promise to visit as many historical war sites as she could and send long letters back. She came out of her visit with her head spinning and a number of text books under her arm. As she walked across the campus she smiled to herself. She had always loved looking into history, but his passion on the subject had made it even more enjoyable, even though he always made her feel like an amateur.

 

Saying goodbye to Ben’s parents was hard for Kate. Each time she saw them, the family resemblances made Ben seem that little bit alive, and she knew it would be a wrench to not see them for months. They had the blonde hair and blue eyes that their children had. When Kate looked into their eyes, although she could not see her Ben looking back, there was enough of a family resemblance to just have the hint of him that made it a mixed blessing to see them. It sometimes felt to her as if Ben was just out of reach when she spoke to them and if she stayed with them long enough he might feel closer, but of course it never happened, it was just her mind clinging on to whatever it could.

 

They offered to take her to the cemetery for the last time, but she insisted on going alone. She did not want to have to hold back her grief or restrict what she said to Ben. She spent a long time at the side of the grave on the day before she left. It felt as if she was losing him all over again, and the intense hurt came flooding back. Eventually she accepted that it was time to leave and reluctantly she left him once more, to start her first adventure without him.

 

*

 

The morning of the trip arrived. Kate’s father had said his goodbyes the night before. Not one to show his emotions he had patted her on the shoulder as he said his goodnight and wished her a safe journey. She had thought about giving him a hug, but knew this would have embarrassed him, so left it, and just smiled at him as he left the room. She knew that he loved her, but he had been brought up in a world where you kept control of your feelings.

 

Kate’s mother waited with her until the car arrived to take her to the Roberts’ house. She was to travel by car to the ferry terminal with the Nanny and the children. She was filled with excitement and nervousness, she had never travelled out of Britain before and the thought of being in the middle of the channel without seeing land both thrilled and terrified her. She gave her mother a hug when the car arrived.

 

“Now promise to write regularly and tell us about your health.” implored her mother, returning the hug.

 

“I promise,” smiled Kate as she walked down the steps to the car, “Look after Ben for me.”

 

“We will, you look after yourself. Get plenty of fresh air and sunshine.”

 

“I will, don’t worry!”

 

“It’s my job to worry.” her mother smiled back at her, but she looked happier than she had since Kate had fainted. She had noticed the enthusiasm back in her daughter’s voice as she had planned for the journey.

 

Kate climbed into the car and sat back. She waved, and took a deep breath. This was it, no turning back. A different country, different job, hopefully new friends and experiences that would give her new purpose, and ease the hole that had got so big it had seemed that it would consume her. Only time would tell if this was the solution the Doctor had prescribed.

*

 

She arrived at the Roberts’ household to hustle and bustle. The house no longer seemed as imposing and aloof in all its Georgian splendour. Cars were being loaded and orders were being given by the Housekeeper, a woman not too dissimilar in manner from Kate’s Headmistress, as tall and formidable looking. Kate smiled to herself, perhaps she was not going to feel so out of place as she had feared. Nanny came over to greet Kate as she stood, a little bewildered and hesitant at the side of the car.

 

“Hello again, are you as excited as we are?” Nanny smiled.

 

“I think so,” Kate smiled back. “I’m Kate by the way.”

 

“Madeline, but everyone calls me Maddy, except my father when I am in trouble!”

 

“Sounds like mine. I know it’s time to make myself scarce when I hear ‘Katherine’ being shouted.” Kate grinned.

 

“Come on, I’ll let Mrs Roberts know you have arrived, and then I’m afraid it’s all hands to the pump. We need to get away pretty soon.” Maddy said as she moved across the driveway.

 

Mrs Roberts shook Kate’s hand in welcome and introduced her to her husband. He was a similar age to Mrs Roberts, probably early thirties, and had a friendly manner like his wife. Kate and Maddy did not delay the couple for long. Kate joined in where she could, ensuring that their tasks would not hold up the rest of the party. They checked everything was loaded that was required for the children and final checks were made until Maddy was happy that nothing of importance was being left behind.

 

Eventually they were ready to go and a convoy of five vehicles left the premises for the journey to the ship. The children were very excited and kept Kate and Maddy busy with their questions along the way. Finally after many hours of travelling they reached the port. The ferry lay berthed before them, towering over the dock, and making the children even more excited.

 

The port was a hive of activity, which Kate’s party added to. The noise of the men loading the ferry and the vehicles boarding, mixed with the noises of other vessels, the sounds of the sea and the seagulls screeching in the background, made it all seem chaotic. There were other ships in dock, but the most activity was around the one that Kate’s party was to board. It took her breath away as she looked around and strands of her hair escaped from its ties as the strong sea breeze teased her face. The air was filled with the smell of salt and petrol as the vehicles moved slowly onto the ship. Kate was brought back to her responsibilities by a call from Louisa and helped Maddy bustle the children onboard as they wanted to stand and stare in wonderment at the sight before them.

 

They settled down, sitting near a large window. The children wanted to go outside straight away, and they promised to take them once the ferry started to move. Maddy wanted to restrict the time they spent outside, because although it was a clear day, it was quite cool and she did not want to start their visit with an illness. It was late afternoon when they set sail and it would be dark by the time they arrived in France. They were to stay overnight in a hotel near the port, and then travel to Hermanville the following morning.

 

As promised they moved outside when they felt the first movement of the ship. Kate breathed in the smell of the salt water as they moved slowly from port. She was as excited as the children as the ship moved along the harbour wall and they waved to people who stood watching the ship leave. She felt a little sad as land moved further into the distance, leaving the harbour behind, it would be many months before she would be seeing this sight again, but she knew that it was for her own good and hopefully she would come back stronger when she returned in September.

 

They stayed outside until the children started to shiver a little. The sea was not too rough, but the wind was blustery and Maddy ushered them back inside. She persuaded them with the promise of a nice meal, which captured their imagination, envisaging glasses and plates moving from one side of the table to the other. To their disappointment though they had their meal without the hoped for rolling of plates and glasses and then settled down to draw. They were both quite tired, but still too excited to sleep.

 

“We won’t be able to wake these two in the morning.” Maddy said, smiling at them.

 

“Never mind, they can have a relaxing first day at the house to recover. I wouldn’t want to throw them straight into lessons,” replied Kate. “Have the family been here before?”

 

“Not to this area, but they have been to France for the summer before now. Mr Roberts has not been able to travel because his mother was seriously ill, so it has been a few years since they’ve visited. All the staff have been looking forward to this, even Mrs Riley, and she doesn’t get excited about anything!”

 

Kate smiled, Mrs Riley was the Housekeeper who reminded Kate of her Headmistress. They were also travelling with the cook, Mrs Hall, one housemaid, Rose and the butler come valet, Mr Bridge. There would be French staff to supplement the English staff, already waiting at the house.

 

“Do I share the cottage with you?” asked Kate.

 

“No, I stay in the house near the children. You are the only one of the travelling staff who will be staying outside the house. There are three other French housemaids, who will share a cottage, and the gardener and his wife are in another. You are lucky, you won’t have to put up with Mrs Riley’s orders all day every day. I’m lucky that the children need fresh air, but poor Rose won’t be able to escape.”

 

“I’m glad I have an escape route.” Kate said. She was not used to being in service and although her Headmistress had been strict, she led by example and did give her teachers some freedom. Kate thought that she would not appreciate being instructed to take orders from Mrs Riley, her old spirit emerging a little in her reluctance to submit to being so restricted.

 

 

They eventually arrived in France, but Kate was disappointed that her first view of a foreign country was in the dark and she could not actually make out anything that was distinctly French. They travelled by car the short way to the hotel and soon had the children tucked up in bed. For tonight Kate and Maddy were to share a room with the children. They were all exhausted and soon fell into a deep sleep.

 

 

Chapter 4

 

 

Kate was woken by Maddy shaking her, “Come on sleepy head, we can’t be late and these two don’t want to move either!”

 

“Sorry, I slept like a log. I’ll be as quick as I can, just tell me what you want me to do.” Kate replied, jumping out of bed, immediately ready to help out.

 

Although technically Kate outranked Maddy as governess, she was aware that Maddy’s experience of the family and the tasks in hand far outweighed her own knowledge and was prepared to work with her to ease her way into the family’s routine as much as possible. She was quite happy to do whatever was needed to make their stay a pleasant one and Maddy was very likeable. She could tell already that she would enjoy her company over the coming months. Although it had been strange to think of sharing a room with complete strangers, this little group of Maddy and the children was in effect her substitute family for a long time to come.

 

They soon had Samuel and Louisa dressed and ready to travel, if not fully awake. Kate did not welcome the thought of another long spell in the car, but she had been told it should not be more than a few hours and she would be able to see the French countryside whilst they travelled.