The Shots You Take

by Rachel Reid

Genres: Sports Romance; LGBT & Pride

Synopsis

A sweet and sexy hockey romance about two ex-teammates and former best friends with benefits who are about to discover whether you can ever really have a second chance, from the USA TODAY bestselling author of Heated Rivalry and The Long Game.

After moving back to his hometown ten years ago, Riley Tuck thought he had left his major league hockey career—and his broken heart—far behind. But when an unexpected tragedy strikes, it brings ex-teammate and former best friend with benefits Adam Sheppard back into his life.

Coming to the small town of Avery River, Nova Scotia, might have been a mistake. Adam’s not sure he’ll ever win back Riley’s trust after the way they left things—and the attention he’s getting as a huge hockey star isn’t exactly helping. Yet the chemistry that crackles between them is undeniable, even now.

As Adam helps Riley navigate his grief, long-buried feelings start to resurface. But they’ll have to square off with their complicated past if they’re going to have a real shot at a new beginning.

Release date: March 4, 2025

Publisher: Carina Press

Print pages: 352

Sample

Chapter One

April 2024

There was only one person who could make the most painful day of Riley Tuck’s life even worse, and he’d just walked into Avery River United Church.

Riley was with his family behind the last row of pews, too close to the entrance to ignore the arrival of Adam Sheppard. And if he hadn’t been standing as close, he still would have heard the ripple of Adam’s name being excitedly whispered throughout the crowded church.

Adam’s piercing blue eyes met Riley’s miserable ones, and Riley’s useless heart gave a hopeful bounce. Because Riley’s heart had always been his worst enemy.

The same could be said for Dad, he thought darkly.

Riley managed a curt nod in acknowledgment of Adam’s baffling presence, then turned to his mother. Susan Tuck raised her eyebrows at him, but Riley shook his head. He didn’t know why Adam was here, and he didn’t care. It wasn’t important right now. Not when they were about to say goodbye to their beloved father and husband. He just needed to get through this. He needed to sit through whatever Reverend Walter had to say, then try not to lose it completely while he shared his own memories of Dad. Then he would endure the crush of sympathies from their friends and neighbors in the church basement while everyone ate tiny triangular sandwiches.

And then they would bury Dad’s ashes, and that would be it. Dad would be gone, and Riley would have to find a way to cope with that. He didn’t have a good track record for coping with misery.

Adam had sat himself in one of the pews at the back of the room. Riley wondered if he’d expected the funeral to be so crowded. When had he decided to come? Had he booked a flight yesterday? Did he rent a car? Why was he here, sitting with obvious discomfort in a pew that didn’t offer enough space for his long legs? He was smushed up against Dr. Tanner, and that probably wasn’t good for his shoulder, especially after a flight and what was probably a two-hour drive in the rain.

Fuck. Why was he here?

“It’s time to go,” Lindsay, Riley’s younger sister, whispered to him. She nodded toward the altar. Riley forced himself to start walking. He felt the weight of hundreds of gazes as he made his way to the pew at the front and tried not to feel the particular weight of one of those gazes. He sat and stared at the tiny black box that contained all that was left of his father—a man who had always been the loudest and most cheerful in any room. A man who’d coached kids’ hockey, played guitar, and helped everyone he could, however he could. A man who’d started selling Pride flags in his sporting goods shop after Riley had come out to his family. A man who had gone to countless funerals and weddings in this same church, who had offered comforting words in the basement, and who had loved those little sandwiches, especially the pickle ones.

A man who had loved people, and who had died alone of a heart attack in his backyard. Even Mom hadn’t been home. He’d been found by one of their neighbors.

Riley couldn’t see anymore. Lindsay’s hand was on his back as he shook with grief.

“If you don’t want to speak up there,” Lindsay said, “you don’t have to. People will understand.”

Riley wiped his eyes, blinked at the dark wooden rafters for a moment, then said, “No. I’ll do it.” He could at least do this, for Dad. And for himself. He couldn’t always hide.

Lindsay squeezed his hand. “No one will judge you, either way.”

“I know.”

Reverend Walter began speaking then, and Riley did his best to listen.

* * *

Riley desperately needed some air. The church basement was hot, overstuffed with people. More people than Riley wanted to see, and more laughter

than he wanted to hear right now.

He stepped out of the church into the endless cold drizzle of April in Nova Scotia. He realized then that he’d left his suit jacket on a chair inside. He’d be all right for a few minutes, and his warm, sticky skin welcomed the chilly rain.

He rounded the corner of the church, hoping to find more privacy away from the entrance, and spotted Adam. He was alone, leaning against the side of the building, staring at his phone. The roof stuck out just enough there to keep him dry. It was where Riley had planned to stand, but like so much of his life, it was occupied by Adam Sheppard.

“No signal in the church?” Riley asked as he approached him. It sounded angry. He was angry. About so many things. But only one of those things was standing in front of him.

Adam glanced up, clearly surprised and possibly even embarrassed as he fumbled his phone into his coat pocket. He was elegantly dressed: expensive wool coat, crisp dark suit pants, shiny black shoes. His short dark hair was flecked with gray now. It hadn’t been, the last time Riley had stood this close to him.

“Just wanted some air,” Adam said.

Riley’s heart clenched, and he wondered if Adam even realized the memories those words dug up. If Adam even remembered; he’d usually been drunk whenever he’d used that code. And it had been so long ago.

I’m bored. Wanna get some air?

The words and Adam’s hot breath would caress Riley’s ear, making his heart race and his dick hard because he’d known what Adam had really wanted.

Riley blinked away the memory and stepped closer to Adam, getting in his space. “Why are you here?”

Adam looked like he’d slapped him, his eyes huge and sad. “Did you really think I wouldn’t come?”

Riley didn’t answer. He just stared and waited.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said.

Riley scoffed. He wanted to ask “for what” because there was a list, as far as he was concerned.

“I loved your dad,” Adam said. “I couldn’t believe it when I heard.”

“How did you hear?”

“Maggie follows your mom on Facebook. She saw the obituary.”

Riley was pleased to notice that the name Maggie didn’t feel like a knife piercing him anymore. He liked Adam’s wife, truly. And he couldn’t blame her for loving Adam any more than he could blame Adam for not loving him.

“Riles,” Adam said softly. He put a hand on Riley’s forearm, where the damp cotton of his white dress shirt stuck to his skin. “I’m so sorry. I know how much your dad meant to you.”

And the thing was, Adam did know. He knew almost everything about Riley.

“Your speech was…” Adam blew out a breath. “Man. It was awesome. Awesome."

“Thanks,” Riley said quietly. Adam’s hand was still on his arm, warm through the cold cotton. He heard himself say, “I almost didn’t do it. I didn’t think I could.”

“You always sell yourself short.”

That’s when Riley remembered that he was mad at Adam. “How the fuck would you know?”

Adam removed his hand. “I know it’s been a while…”

“A while,” Riley said, too loudly. “It’s been twelve fucking years.”

A hint of anger flashed in Adam’s eyes. “Is that my fault?”

Riley glared at him, furious at himself for not having an answer to spit back at him. Because yes, it was Adam’s fault, but also, no, it wasn’t. It was just a fucking mess of a thing that neither of them had wanted to clean up. And now it was too late.

“I tried to reach out. At first,” Adam said.

Riley gazed up at the gray sky. He couldn’t look at Adam. “Okay.”

“You told me not to contact you. You fucking said those words, Riles.”

You were supposed to ignore them, Riley thought. You were supposed to know I needed you.

“I can’t do this right now,” Riley said, meeting his eyes. “It’s been a fucking week, and I have to go across the street and put Dad in the ground.” He gestured to the cemetery behind them. “So, thank you for coming or whatever, but please fuck off.”

Adam sighed and looked away. “This was a mistake,” he muttered.

“Wouldn’t be your first. Goodbye, Shep.” Riley turned and walked away before Adam could reply, and before Adam could see the tears in his eyes.

 

Chapter Two

January 2007

“I’m bored. Wanna get some air?”

Riley felt the words against his ear, a soft puff of breath from Adam’s lips, and his heart began racing. Now? Tonight? When the team was out celebrating at a club, and Riley had spent the past hour trying to ignore the way women had been pressing themselves against Adam on the dance floor and the way Adam had pressed right back against them, eyes hooded and cheeks flushed. Riley had written the night off as a lost cause ages ago, like so many others.

But now the tip of Adam’s nose was dangerously close to Riley’s temple, and Riley wanted to tilt his head right here in this bar, to expose his neck to Adam’s lips. To expose himself to everyone.

“Yeah,” Riley said. “I do.”

He met Adam’s gaze and saw the thrilling combination of alcohol and lust there. Riley didn’t need alcohol to want Adam, but they both needed it for courage. They never did this sober.

“Let’s go,” Adam said.

Several blocks of walking, five subway stops, and an elevator [^%]ride later, they were in their apartment, locking the door against the outside world. Riley had barely removed his shoes before Adam had him against a wall, kissing him hungrily. Riley’s whole body celebrated.

“Riles,” Adam whispered against Riley’s jawline, and god, Riley loved it when Adam said his name when they did this. He loved that Adam knew exactly who he was kissing, and who he was hard for.

“Want you to fuck me,” Riley said in a rush.

Adam hummed his approval, and for the millionth time Riley couldn’t believe this was really happening.

It had taken Riley nearly three years to get Adam to kiss him for the first time. Not that Riley had been actively trying to get his best friend to kiss him, or that he’d been expecting it at all. More accurately, Riley had spent nearly three years hoping his best friend would kiss him. They’d been rookies together, both making the abysmal Northmen roster in their first eligible seasons; Adam because of his skill, and Riley because of his size. They’d hit it off immediately and had been practically inseparable ever since. All that time, Riley had dreamed of kissing Adam, longed for it, knew it would never happen.

When it finally did happen, they’d both been twenty-one, drunk, and, at least on Riley’s part, so horny he’d been ready to die. They’d been squished together in a booth at a bar for hours, out with teammates, like tonight. Adam had been unknowingly torturing Riley the entire time with the solid press of his thigh, the warm tickle of his breath against Riley’s ear, the little touches to Riley’s forearm. All of it was familiar, but had also felt electric with the promise of more. Riley had no idea, then or now, how he’d known that night would be different, but when they’d stumbled into their apartment and collapsed on the couch, it had made sense when Adam had placed a hand on Riley’s cheek, held his gaze for a breathless moment, then kissed him.

[^%]He remembered Adam pausing after the first tentative brush of lips, then letting out a nervous puff of a laugh that danced across Riley’s skin. “Is this okay?” Adam had whispered, his voice softer than Riley had ever heard it.

Riley, thunderstruck, had only been able to rasp out, “Yes,” and then Adam had been kissing him again. Riley had tipped over, pulling Adam with him, and they’d made out frantically like that, Adam grinding down on him while they’d panted into each other’s mouths.

That night, they’d stayed fully clothed. Adam had his forehead pressed against Riley’s shoulder when he came, a surprised gasp escaping him. Riley had gripped his fingers into Adam’s lower back—not brave enough to grope his ass yet—and came right after. The whole thing had probably taken about six minutes.

Riley wanted tonight to last a whole hell of a lot longer than six minutes. He wanted

 sex, but more than that he wanted to hold Adam after and kiss him until they were both hard again. He wanted Adam to not run away as soon as the orgasms were over. They’d been doing this for three years and not once had Adam ever stayed.

This—the sex—was the one thing they never talked about. The closest they’d gotten to having a conversation about any of it was Adam breathlessly asking Riley if he “liked doing that” after he blew him for probably the seventh time. Riley had shrugged, not wanting to give too much away, and had said, “Don’t mind it,” when the truth was that he fucking loved it.

“Will you…” Adam said, now. His voice was rough already, low and raspy and ridiculously hot. “Would you—”

Riley didn’t need him to clarify. He kissed him, then sank to his knees. As always, Adam watched him with unguarded amazement. If Riley had a photo of Adam’s face in that moment, he’d never need porn again.

“You’re so fucking good,” Adam said. “Fuck, Riles.”

[^%]Adam was still wearing his boots, and snow was melting from them into a tiny puddle around Riley’s knees. Riley didn’t care. There was nowhere else he’d rather be, with Adam looking at no one else but him. With Adam being amazed by him.

He took Adam as deep as he could, held him there, and closed his eyes, letting himself be overwhelmed by the man he was completely, painfully in love with.

“So fucking good,” Adam repeated. Then, to Riley’s astonishment, he trailed a gentle fingertip down Riley’s cheek.

Riley opened his eyes, and met Adam’s hooded gaze.

I love you, Riley thought. I love you so much I might die from it. I might have to tell you. I’m sorry.

Adam kept staring at him, lips parted. For a moment, Riley thought Adam had somehow heard him. That he was about to say it back.

Instead, Adam said, “I wanna suck you too.”

It wasn’t a confession of love, but it was still exciting. Riley had been shocked the first time Adam had gone down on him. It had happened only a few months ago, during the summer when Adam had visited him in Avery River. Riley knew it didn’t mean anything, really, that Adam was suddenly interested in giving head, but it had felt significant. It had been one of the many reasons those few weeks in Avery River had been magical, and Riley had felt, for the first time in his life, like he’d had a boyfriend.

Now they were back to fucking, whenever they were drunk enough, and not talking about it. But there was something there between them. Something new that had followed them from Avery River to their shared Toronto apartment. Riley couldn’t ignore it, and he suspected Adam didn’t really want to either.

Riley released Adam slowly, and Adam reached out a hand to pull Riley up. Then they were kissing again, and Adam pressed his hand against the bulge in Riley’s jeans.

[^%]“Bedroom,” Riley said.

“Yeah.”

After, Adam didn’t leave the bed right away. Usually, within two minutes of 

coming, he would be laughing nervously and saying stuff like, “Wow, shit. That was crazy,” and “See you tomorrow, Riles.” But that night he lingered, still lying beside Riley after their breathing had returned to normal. Riley took a chance and rolled onto his side so he could stroke Adam’s hair a bit and enjoy the view. Adam smiled sleepily at him, captured his wrist, and kissed Riley’s palm. He was so beautiful and so sweet like this, and Riley had reached his limit. He had to tell him.

“I love you, you know.”

Adam’s eyes went wide and alert, and his mouth fell open. Riley’s heart possibly stopped beating as he waited.

Then Adam laughed. “Come on,” he said. “We’re not like that.”

Riley was frozen as dread and humiliation washed over him. Adam must have noticed because he stopped laughing. “Riles,” he said gently, “this isn’t—”

“I know,” Riley said. Then he forced a smile that probably looked deranged. “Yeah. I know. Sorry. I was just…” He left the bed in a hurry before the tears came. Before the situation could get any more embarrassing.

Alone in the bathroom, Riley pressed a hand hard against his mouth and blinked at the ceiling. He’d miscalculated. He’d ruined everything. Would Adam even want to be friends with him anymore?

Later, when he returned to his bedroom, Adam was gone. Riley wasn’t surprised.

The next morning, Adam was whistling as he entered the kitchen. Riley was sitting at the table, forcing himself to eat cereal despite having a stomach full of anxiety.

“Mornin’,” Adam said. “Is there coffee?”

[^%]“Not yet. Sorry.”

“It’s cool. I’ll make it.”

The sounds of Adam opening cupboards and containers filled the kitchen, while Riley’s heart threatened to beat out of his chest. When the coffee started brewing, Adam said, “You think Coach is finally going to switch up the penalty kill today?”

Okay. So they weren’t going to talk about it. Riley was relieved that Adam was willing to overlook Riley’s confession, but he also wanted to scream. What the fuck did Riley have to do to make Adam interested in talking about all the sex they’d had? Was it really possible that Adam didn’t have a single feeling about it?

“Maybe,” Riley said, answering Adam’s question in what he hoped was a steady and casual tone. “We’ve gotta do something about it.”

“Yeah, it’s been a mess lately.”

Adam stretched his arms over his head, and Riley fixed his gaze on his cereal so he wouldn’t have to see the sexy sliver of stomach that always revealed itself whenever Adam did that. He considered, for the zillionth time, moving out. Finding his own place. Giving himself space from a man who couldn’t love him back.

He wished he was strong enough to do that. He wished Adam could be terrible, because besides his aversion to talking about the sex stuff, he was a perfect friend. Honestly, his only crime was not being in love with Riley, and Riley could hardly blame him for that.

He wondered, now that Adam knew, would the sex end? And if it did, would that be Adam punishing him, or doing him a favor? Either way, it would be agony. ...