Spin a Black Yarn: Novellas

by Josh Malerman

Genres: Horror; Supernatural suspense

Synopsis

Five harrowing novellas of horror and speculative fiction from the singular mind of the New York Times bestselling author of Bird Box

Josh Malerman is a master weaver of stories—and in this spine-chilling collection he spins five twisted tales from the shadows of the human soul: 

A sister insists to her little brother that “Half the House Is Haunted” by a strange presence. But is it the house that’s haunted—or their childhoods? 

In “Argyle,” a dying man confesses to homicides he never committed, and he reveals long-kept secrets far more sinister than murder.

A tourist takes the ultimate trip to outer space in “The Jupiter Drop,” but the real journey is into his own dark past. 

In “Doug and Judy Buy the House Washer™,” a trendy married couple buys the latest home gadget only to find themselves trapped by their possessions, their history . . . and each other.

And in “Egorov,” a wealthy old cretin murders a young man, not knowing the victim was a triplet. The two surviving brothers stage a savage faux-haunting—playing the ghost of their slain brother—with the aim of driving the old murderer mad.

Release date: August 15, 2023

Publisher: Del Rey

Print pages: 385

Sample

HALF THE HOUSE IS HAUNTED

 

PART ONE

8 AND 6

 

Half the house is haunted, Robin. Don’t ask me which half! Don’t you ever ask that again! I’ll tell Mommy about the rat if you do. You think I won’t, little brother? Didn’t I tell Daddy about the fight? Didn’t I tell him you roughed up that ninny at school? I didn’t leave any of it out, either. Nope. The way you moved that ninny’s nose. The way you made him sob. So don’t fiddle with me, Robin! And don’t you dare demand. Half the house is haunted, I say, and so haunted half the house is!

---

* * *

Stephanie is trying to scare me again. It’s all she does. Daddy says it’s getting worse. He said that very thing at dinner. He said, Stephanie is so hard on Robin. She is! Mommy asked for an example. Daddy didn’t have one and I was too scared to raise my hand. I could have told them she used to hide under the bed. I could have told them how later she placed that dead kid under the bed, dressed as her, so that I thought it was Stephanie down there. Then the real Stephanie leapt from out of the closet. She laughed so hard it made her look different. Then she demanded I help bury the kid again in the East Kent cemetery. I refused and she told me it was phony anyway and then she told Daddy about the fight I got in at school. I fight a lot at school. And I’m darn good at it too! If Stephanie isn’t careful, I’m gonna fight her next. But what if what she says is true? What if half the house is haunted? And what if she knows which half?

What would I do without her?

---

* * *

You always think in such simple terms, Robin. You’re such a simpleton. Do you know that word? You should. You are that word. You hear “half” and you say front or back, side or side. You don’t even consider top or bottom. You don’t consider it’s every other step. Follow me. Right now, dammit. This step? Maybe haunted. This step? Maybe not. What’s wrong? Are you really leaving me up here alone? Are you really going to run downstairs where there’s nobody, when that might be the haunted half? Oh, Robin. You are much too simple for a puzzle like this. You think in lines. I think in depth. Yes, in depth. Maybe it’s the outline of the house that’s haunted and not the inner house, you see? Maybe you should find the center of the house and wait there while the haunting goes on, for the rest of your life, wait in the center of the house, Robin, where it might be safe, and…and it might not!

---

* * *

Stephanie is so terrible! She leads me around the house like a little dog. Mommy and Daddy are off doctoring and Stephanie is supposed to take care of me. I can take care of myself! Just not in every way. I can’t make lunch, I know. I’m not allowed to use the stove. The oven is so big, Stephanie and me could squeeze inside together. The cupboards are too high. Even Stephanie steps on chairs to get the oatmeal down. I can get up on my bed, of course, but Stephanie has made me so scared I don’t even want to take a nap. She tells me my bedroom might be part of the haunted half. I ask her if it is. Does she know? She won’t tell! She’s terrible. All she wants to do is scare me. That’s all!

Where is she hiding now? Every curtain is a hiding place. She told me that once. She said even the middle of the hall is a hiding place for some things.

I want to go outside. I can’t stand it inside anymore. I’m always just waiting for Stephanie to scare me.

I can’t stand how terrible she is! 

* * *

You think the outside is safe, Robin? Why? Because there are no walls? No ceiling? No floor? Do you see how simple this is? You think the sun will help you? You think the open air is your friend?

I was in the library, Robin. I searched Mommy and Daddy’s thesaurus for simple. I found many words and they all apply to you just perfectly, just perfectly so!

Ordinary, common, plain, artless. Just four there, already a biography. Homely, average, feeble. But my favorite? Oh, Robin, my favorite word for you is credent.

Now, get back inside, credent! Who said the outside isn’t the haunted half?

---

* * *

Mommy and Daddy are back and they asked Stephanie how I was. She told them I was tolerable. Mommy patted her on the head when she used that word and Daddy said,

I see you’ve been in the library, Steph. Continue to do that.

They encourage her. Always. And they asked me if I was feeling well, and Daddy placed his hand on my forehead and told me I should get some rest because I was “running hot.” But I didn’t want to be upstairs alone, I don’t want to be anywhere alone in the house!

But Mommy and Daddy made me. They tucked me in. They turned the bedroom light off but left the light on in the hall.

I want it off.

But I don’t want it off.

I want it off.

But I don’t.

Is this what Stephanie means when she says half the house is haunted?

---

* * *

Robin, can you hear me? I’ll stand watch in the hall. I’ll tell you if something is coming. Can you see my shadow on the wall? Good. That’s me. If you see any other shadow on the wall, it’s not me. So don’t speak to any shadow you see on the hall wall unless it’s mine. Don’t cry, Robin. Rest, like Daddy said. And don’t be such a drama! We have a roof over our heads. Some do not. Some people sleep outside, under bridges, in cars, in graveyards.

Oh, they most certainly do!

They’re called lamias and they like the smell of graves. Some of them wear it like cologne.

Yes. Just like Daddy’s, only it smells of the grave, Robin.

That sweet ol’ scent of the grave!

* * *

I can see Stephanie’s shadow in the hall. It’s longer than her, but I know it’s her. She’s trying to scare me again. She’s making shapes with her fingers. Mommy calls them shadow puppets. She’s trying to make birds or bugs and sometimes horns.

Stop it, Stephanie!

But I don’t want her to leave me, I don’t want to be alone up here! I told Daddy I didn’t want to be alone, and he looked at me angry. He made a clucking sound with his tongue and shook his head no. Daddy does that and it’s the end of the talk. So I stopped talking. And he left. And Stephanie is all I have.

She makes horns. And she raises her hands so her fingers look longer and the horns stretch up the whole wall.

I want to say I hate Stephanie, but Mommy and Daddy told us there’s one word we’re never allowed to use and it’s that one. They told us there’s “no coming back from hate.” As if hate is a place! Mommy said someone could visit there and get stuck without a ride home.

So maybe I don’t hate Stephanie. But I hate the shapes she’s making in the hall, and I hate what she says and does. One night I counted and I think Stephanie has tried to scare me in every single room in the house. All nineteen of them. She calls me a liar when I say this, tells me she hasn’t even used half of them, but there were some times I heard her before she had a chance to scare me. One time on the third floor, I heard her in the last room, heard her breathing real hard and I stopped and listened and I almost hated her then.

Oh, look!

She’s stopped making shadows. She’s gone.

Is she in the room with me now? Did I miss that? Is Stephanie hiding in my room?

Is she waiting for me to fall asleep?

Is she standing next to my bed?

---

* * *

Boo, credent!

You’re so easy! All you had to do was watch my shadow to know where I was. But that’s too simple for you, isn’t it? You think you’re so smart, so you take your eye off things, thinking they’ll be the same when you look back.

Don’t tell me what to do. I’m your big sister and I can scare you all I want.

Remember the snake I

found in the garden and drowned in the pool? That snake is still growing, Robin. It’s ten times the size it was when it died, and it grows twice as big each day. Pretty soon you’ll be able to see it sticking out of the water because it’ll be too big to fit. And when it gets huge, it’ll come back here for you. Because you’re the one who was scared of the snake in the garden. You’re the one who pointed it out to me.

The snake knows you now, Robin. Knows you’re the reason it drowned.

---

* * *

Mommy heard us yelling and came in to tell Stephanie to leave me alone. Mommy asked me what’s wrong so I told her Stephanie is trying to scare me. It’s the same thing I always say because I don’t want to say any more than that because I don’t want Mommy to separate Stephanie and me.

I don’t want to be alone.

I can’t tell Mommy everything. No. Mommy and Daddy are doctors and they think Stephanie is big enough to watch me on her own even though she’s not. They trust Stephanie with everything and they don’t think I can do anything at all.

Can I?

I asked Mommy if there’s a snake growing in the pool, and she told me there are many snakes outside and that I should be careful.

Is Mommy trying to scare me too?

---

* * *

Good morning, Robin. You fell asleep, after all. Didn’t think you could after our talk. Mommy and Daddy are downstairs with breakfast. But they aren’t alone. Don’t look at me that way, I’m your sister. Your conventual. Even your mother superior. So, be glad I’m here to tell you the truth, to warn you of the ways of the world.

There’s a woman sitting at the breakfast table with Mommy and Daddy. They can’t see her, but you and I can. Well, I think you can. I can for sure. And this woman does not look nice. She watched me walk into the room and watched me set the table and watched me walk out. She sat there the whole time, her mossy fingers upon the table, and her eyes rolled like falling cherries in her mossy head.

What’s her name? How should I know her name? You think I asked?

Don’t worry about Mommy and Daddy. They can take care of themselves. And if they can’t? Well, I can take care of you.

I’m your mother superior, after all.

Your conventual.

Your sister.

* * *

There was no woman at the breakfast table and Stephanie is the worst. I was so hungry I didn’t even care about her stupid story. I wasn’t even scared! One day she’ll learn it’s a lot harder to scare me in the morning than it is at night! Mommy and Daddy were busy with what they had to do, but they said they’re with us today. I’m glad for that. I can sit in Mommy’s office while she works so long as I keep quiet, and I like having Daddy in the house. I could tell Stephanie was disappointed, even though she didn’t say so.

She would never admit something like that. Mommy once said some people can’t admit when they lose something and when she said it, we all looked to Stephanie and even then, even then she nodded like she’d won.

After Mommy and Daddy left the table, Stephanie got up, picked up her plate, made sure I was watching, then looked to one of the empty chairs for a long time. Just looked at it. Then she looked back to me like she was scared and she fled the breakfast room, leaving me alone at the table.

She didn’t win.

No.

I can plainly see the chair is empty.

No.

Stephanie did not win.

No.

---

* * *

Robin, walk the halls with me. This storm is terrible and Mommy doesn’t need you sulking about all afternoon in her office.

I know she doesn’t hate it. I didn’t say that.

I just think it’s best for a boy to move about, to get some exercise, while his parents work.

See? Mommy agrees.

Come, Robin. We’ll walk one half of the house.

Then we’ll walk the other.

---

* * *

Stephanie can make Mommy agree with anything. Anything she says, Mommy says yes, that’s a good idea. They think she’s so smart. And they think I’m not! And so I walk the house with Stephanie even though I know the only reason she wants me to come with her is so she can scare me. She never teaches me anything, other than the mean words she looks up, mean things to call me. And every few steps we take, she asks,

Do you think this spot here is haunted?

Then, another step.

How about this one?

In the kitchen she picked up so many things and asked me about each one!

Is this knife haunted, Robin? How about this one? Is this plate, this cup, this chair, this tile, this fork, this crumb?

Is this crumb haunted, Robin?

How about half this crumb?

She’s trying to drive me crazy. She heard that people can do that; they can drive each other crazy and so she’s set out to do it.

It’s in her head. That’s what she told me once without meaning to. She said:

I hear things and they must be real.

Well, who told her this is true? I don’t know. But someone told Stephanie she can drive me crazy.

And so it must be true.

---

* * *

Now, here’s a real test for you, Robin. Are you so simple as to believe the basement must be haunted? Or not? The former? The former means the first option: that the basement is haunted. Do you believe all hauntings must take place in the dark? In the corners? At night?

You do! I can tell you do, no matter what you tell me now. Your problem is you feel safe in the light and unsafe in the dark. But why would anything care about that other than you? Why can’t there be something standing in the middle of the hall in the middle of the day, any old day?

No, I am not trying to scare you, Robin. I am trying to teach you.

We live here, yes? We must know the place we live in.

So? Is the basement haunted? Is half the basement haunted? And if so…is it the far half, the half farthest from the basement steps?

Yes?

Ah! You failed the first part of the test, Robin. You admitted you believe the dark places are the haunted places, and if you keep thinking this way, you’ll never figure out which half it is.

Now, go on. Go this minute. Go down into the basement or I will tell Mommy and Daddy that you shit the bed.

Don’t tell me not to cuss! You’re younger than I am by two years, Robin. That’s a long time. Do you know what I did for those first two years I lived without you? I got to know the house. I introduced myself to the house. I once walked these halls alone, as Mommy and Daddy worked. You’ve heard them say so. You don’t believe it? You

think they lie when they say it? Mommy found me in every room in this house, alone. Because even as a baby I knew to study the house, even then.

Now, go on into the basement or I’ll tell Mommy what you did in the bed. What? You think she won’t believe me? But Robin! Do you really think I washed the bedding like I said I did? Oh, credent, I kept those sheets under a rock outside! Yes, the black rock. And I can easily bring them back inside to show Mommy and Daddy just how big their little boy really is.

The basement, Robin.

Go.

Now.

Let’s test your theory on whether or not the darkest places in the house are haunted.

---

* * *

I can’t stand it! Nobody should have to. Alone in the basement where the light doesn’t go! Me, by myself, where Mommy and Daddy tell us not to go! I’m as smart as Stephanie, if not smarter! And if she thinks I’m going to the far side of the basement, where the sheet hangs to stop anyone from going any farther in the dark, she’s wrong.

I’ll stop here. Where the light reaches. And I’ll wait until Stephanie shouts. She’ll be so happy to think of me losing my mind in the dark end of the basement, but she’ll never know the truth.

Hear that? She’s up at the top of the stairs now, listening to hear me walk. So I walk, but I walk in place! And I make my steps grow quieter without going deeper into the dark because I won’t play her games and I won’t let her do this to me.

And because Mommy and Daddy told us not to go back there. Not ever.

And I never would!

---

* * *

Oh, Robin! Oh, Robin! Have you tested your theory? Have you found anything in the dark? Only answer my voice, Robin.

If anybody talks to you down there, it’s not me.

Okay?

Go all the way back

now, Robin. All the way to the back of the basement.

---

* * *

Ridiculous! And I hate being made the fool! But it’s all she does. Stephanie needs to make friends. Needs to play outside. Needs to grow up. Mommy and Daddy go all over town helping people, telling them what they need, but they forget about their own two children. They never say, What Stephanie needs is to get out of the house and what Robin needs is for Stephanie to get out of the house.

Ridiculous. Half the house is haunted. So dumb! I’ve never heard a more stupid thing in my life. Stephanie thinks she’s being clever (she always thinks she is). She thinks she knows what’s scary. Meanwhile, I’m the brave boy in the basement while she’s up there giggling about me.

Stephanie? Come on. I went to the far end. I didn’t find anything. I’m coming back up now.

But she’s not responding. Of course not. She’s up there thinking of the next way to scare me. She’s got a hand over her mouth, I bet she does, so she doesn’t call out to me, and she’s giggling and thinking, I’ll scare Robin with this or that next! Really, it’s all she does!

Stephanie?

The worst. How much time does she spend thinking of ways to scare me? How much of her life does she waste on me?

Stephanie?

Oh…

I think she’s down here now. She thinks I don’t know about the second way into the basement, through the walk-in pantry in the kitchen. She thinks because I’m only six and she’s already eight that Mommy and Daddy don’t want me going down into the basement alone, she thinks I don’t know about the other stairs.

But I hear her past the sheet, at the dark back of the basement.

I’m smiling, because this is the first time I can scare her. She’s moving slow because she wants to scare me. But I’m not back there! I’m still near the stairs where the light still shines! And see, Stephanie stopped talking because she went to the kitchen and through the pantry and now she’s down here with me and I’m going to scare her.

I’m going to step into the dark right here and wait for her to come to the steps. Because she will! She won’t find me back there and she’ll wonder where I am.

Oh, Stephanie, you’re in trouble now. It’s your turn to be scared, as I wait in the dark,

listening to you coming this way.

Stephanie? Where did you go? Are you still there?

I know she’s still there because she hasn’t made another sound since she stopped sliding her slippers. She didn’t go back up the steps or I would’ve heard her.

Stephanie?

I see you in the dark.

Stephanie?

I’m not saying a word. I’m waiting for her to step into the light so I can leap out of the dark. So I can scare her.

Here she comes. Yes. Stephanie. Stepping into the light.

Stepping—

---

* * *

Robin! Calm down! Calm down this instant! I’ve been up here the whole time just like I said I would! Why do you yell at me? Why are you screaming? Mommy and Daddy are coming now, and they are not going to be happy. They need to work so that you and I have food and a place to live! You must stop screaming.

What’s that? Me? No, I did not do that. And how could I have done that? I can’t be two places at once!

Robin, get back here. Oh, it’s too late. Mommy and Daddy are coming and…and here they are.

No, Mommy. No, Daddy. I have no idea why Robin is doing this. Why was he in the basement? No, I didn’t tell him to go into the basement. No.

Robin! Stop yelling like that!

Stop yelling!

---

* * *

Mommy and Daddy won’t leave me alone, and thank God for that. They take turns watching me on the couch in Mommy’s office because I scared them good. That’s what Daddy says, You scared us good. But I tell him there is no good way to be scared, Daddy.

Stephanie was in the basement with me. She says she wasn’t, but she also says she didn’t tell me to go down there. She’s all lies and scaring. That’s all she does.

She was in the basement with me. The whole world heard her. Sliding her slippers across the floor.

Wait, Daddy! Don’t leave. Please. I’m still shaken. That’s your word. Shaken. I’m still shaken, and I don’t want to be alone. No, I know it was Stephanie trying to scare me, but it worked. No, I know nobody else is in the basement. What? Mommy is down there now? Making sure? To prove it for me?

Daddy!

Don’t tell me to stay on the couch! Mommy shouldn’t be down there. It’s scary down there, Daddy. And what if Stephanie tries to scare Mommy too?

No, no, you’re right. Stephanie can’t scare Mommy. You’re right. Mommy isn’t afraid of basements. Mommy is big.

But still, Daddy, still…Stephanie seemed bigger down there. 

 * *

Mommy? Did you find anything in the basement? No. I didn’t think you would. No! It wasn’t me. I haven’t been in the basement in a long time. Robin wanted to prove to me that it wasn’t scary down there. I know it’s not. But he wanted to prove it. Yes, I know. Boys want to look strong for their sisters. They do stupid things like dares. Only, Robin dared himself, I guess you could say. He’s silly and simple like that. All boys are. Yes. Except Daddy. What’s that? Daddy too? Ha. Well, all boys then.

But so long as you didn’t find anything down there, Robin can feel better about it. He was so frightened. I’ve never seen him like that. You haven’t either, I know. It was like he was someone else. Like someone had taken the front half of him away and all we saw was the second half and that half was so scared…

So crazy and afraid!

---

* * *

Mommy and Daddy have taken us into town. They say we need to calm down. They say they treat people for nerves all the time and they’ve never seen two people as nervous as us. They argued with us about it at home, and they argued with us about it on the drive. Mommy drove and the whole time Daddy talked to Stephanie and me. He told us we had to change our ways. That’s how he said it. Now we’re in the park in the city. Daddy is pushing Stephanie on a swing and Mommy is kicking a ball with me. She’s asking me about making friends. She’s saying people can get nervous when they’re in a house for so long, they can start getting mad at each other. She keeps talking about Stephanie and me like we’re both to blame for the thing that happened, but I’m not to blame. Anybody can see that. Stephanie is just a liar. So, Mommy thinks she’s a good girl.

She’s not! Not even now as she’s smiling and Daddy pushes her on the swing. Look! She’s looking at me, right at me. And I know what she’s thinking, she’s thinking: When we get home, I’m going to scare you, Robin, scare you so bad you shit the bed.

What, Mommy? Nothing. I’m not thinking about anything. Here, let me kick the ball back to you.

Stephanie is still looking at me. She can do this all day. Mommy once said: If a person is mean to you, they are mean to everybody, including themselves.

That makes me feel better. Maybe Stephanie is mean to herself too.

That makes me feel better. That makes me feel like maybe we’re even after all.

 * *

You need to really think, Robin. You can’t just ask for any gift and bring it back into the house because what if you place your gift on the haunted half of the house and then it’s used for bad things?

What do I mean? Oh, come, credent. Mommy and Daddy said we each get one thing from the store, but if you ask for a pocketknife, that could be dangerous. Why? Are you really this thick? Robin. Ask for something that can’t hurt you. Like a stuffed animal. Like a shirt. But I guess anything could be used to hurt you if it’s in the haunted half of the house.

Oh, stop it. What are you going to do? Yell for Mommy and Daddy in a store? Come now, credent. Come now, thick brother of mine. Mommy and Daddy needed to get out of the house, too, and you don’t wanna ruin the day for them. You know what that’s called? A person who ruins the day for other people? That’s called a nincompoop. I swear I did not make that up. It’s in the thesaurus in the library. You really need to read once in a while, credent. Then maybe you’d stop thinking of things in equal halves and realize that one half of a thing can be very small and one half very big so long as the small one means as much as the big.

---

* * *

I got the pocketknife. Because Stephanie sucks. Yeah, I won’t say that word out loud, not to Mommy and Daddy and not even to her, but she sucks. It’s summer now, but during school I have a friend who said his big brother sucks and guess what? So does my sister. Benny told me what it meant, he said for someone to suck it means they aren’t nice and don’t care about anything but their hair. Stephanie sucks. It feels good to say it. Even as we’re driving back home, even as we’re heading back to the very place where she will try to scare me all over again, it feels good to say to myself that she sucks.

Daddy drives now and Mommy is talking funny and Daddy is laughing and they sound like they are in love. Mommy is loud and making jokes and once she turned to Stephanie and she said, You two need to learn how to relax.

But the way she said it made me turn red. Because she sounded right. Like she knows and I don’t and I do need to relax. But then Mommy said Stephanie’s name funny. She said, Stepafie. And Daddy started laughing and they told us we needed to occupy ourselves when we get home because they had work to do. Well, that sucks too. Because that means Stephanie is going to feel like she’s the boss of me again and she’s going to make me do something I don’t want

 to do and if she tells me to go into the basement again, I’m going to tell her she sucks.

That would feel so good. Just to say it.

What I really need to do is figure out a way to scare her. What I really need to do is plan like she plans. So that I don’t spend all my time being afraid of her and instead I feel glad about being alone with her.

I think maybe it has to do with my pocketknife. Yes. I think maybe I’ll scare her with the knife.

But how?

Oh, look at her, planning! Looking out the window at the woods we pass! She’s thinking of ways to scare me right now. She’s smiling like she knows exactly what she’s going to do to me when we get home.

Mommy? Daddy? Can I sleep with you two tonight?

They yell NO together so loud and so fast it nearly breaks the windows and now they laugh so hard they sound like funny little dogs.

---

* * *

Come, Robin, come quick. I can show you what I’m talking about. No, I’m not trying to scare you. And stop saying that! Read the thesaurus, come up with new words. Shock, panic, startle, affray, daunt, curl my hair. All good substitutions.

Oh my! Did you see that? The whole sky lit up! This is a squall. I guess the sky forgave us while we were in town. No, Mommy and Daddy are asleep. Snoring so loud you’re mistaking it as part of the thunder.

Come, Robin. I can show you what I’m talking about.

I can show you something that’s happening in the haunted half of the house.

---

* * *

Oh, why do I go with her? Why do I listen? Why can’t I simply say, No, Stephanie, no, I’m not going with you! No, Stephanie, no, half the house is not haunted!

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* * *

I’m not taking you to the basement, don’t worry. And Mommy and Daddy won’t hear us where we’re going. We’re going to the top, Robin. Yes, the attic. Oh, stop it. It’s hardly a crawl space when it’s a walk-in, credent. Don’t give me that and do not look at me like that. But, then again, things do happen up there. How do I know? Because I make it a point to know these things. I actually do the work

so you don’t have to.

Here. Help me. I just need you to get to one knee so I can stand on your knee and pull down the rope. Yes. Just do it, Robin. And stop pretending like you’re not interested in what I’m about to show you. Stop pretending this is all me.

Okay. Good. On your knee. And…

I got it!

Watch out, Robin! No, I don’t think Mommy and Daddy heard the ladder come down. They’re really sleeping. Okay. I’ll go first. But get right behind me because we’re not going up there, we’re just going to peek inside. Yes. I mean it.

Come.

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* * *

Nothing! We climbed the ladder and we saw nothing. The attic looked like it always does and Stephanie seemed happy for that, but then she also said that half the house must’ve moved.

What?

We got the ladder back up and we’re walking the hall of the second floor now. Mommy and Daddy sleep on the third floor because there’s a room up there so big it’s like a whole house in one place. Stephanie and I sleep up there, too, and the second floor is always a little scary to me because we don’t use it very much. Daddy calls it “house sandwich,” meaning the first and third floors are the bread and the second floor is the meat, I think.

Stephanie told me to be quiet and so I am but I also wanna yell in her ear to scare her. Maybe that’s how I’ll do it. ...

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