Chapter 1
The last year had been pure hell. Lily took another look in the hotel mirror. She straightened the flag pin she wore on her jacket lapel and moved a piece of hair from her eye, noticing the dark circles still visible after a healthy application of concealer.
The bathroom door opened, and a young man in a suit and tie smiled at her. “You look so handsome, Kev. Your dad would be proud.” She wiped a tear from her eye.
“Aww, Mom, don’t cry.” He engulfed her in a long embrace. “We just have to get through today.”
She nodded and brushed an invisible speck from his shoulder. “Okay, let’s go.” She reached for her handbag. “The hotel approved a late check-out for us, so we’ll have time to come back after the service. We can change before we head out.”
She flung a silky scarf, bright royal blue and emblazoned with gold badges, around her shoulders. “The car should be here by now.” Kevin escorted her into the elevator, and they rode downstairs in silence.
They found their car waiting at the curb. The driver held the door, and they stepped into the sleek black sedan before it sped off into the traffic clogged streets of Washington, D.C.
Lily recognized the familiar buildings that made up the skyline of the nation’s capital. Richmond was only a couple of hours away, but it seemed like a different world. She didn’t venture into the city often. She and Kevin had spent some time at the National Mall yesterday, but their hearts weren’t in it. All it did was churn up memories of happier times.
Their family of three had visited the capital and soaked in all the history the summer before Kevin’s freshman year in high school. It had been a great trip and a fun time together. Now he was a junior in college, and they were a family of two. Yesterday’s visit only emphasized Gary’s absence.
Their route from the Mayflower Hotel took them by the massive Eisenhower Office Building and offered a glimpse of the White House. She took in the quiet green space of the Ellipse as the driver made the turn onto Constitution Avenue. The Washington Monument loomed above a steady stream of schoolchildren exploring the National Mall.
Traffic was heavy, but Lily was in no hurry. She took the time afforded her by the multiple red lights to gaze at the buildings. The look of awe and wonder on the faces of Kevin and Gary when they stepped into the Air and Space Museum all those years ago was still etched in her mind. She smiled, reflecting on the excitement and happiness of that day.
The thrill of seeing the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution in the National Archives was something she would never forget. Those documents housed in the dark, reverent space, encased in protective high-tech glass cases, signed by those brave founding fathers gave her chills. Lily’s love for history had deep roots connected to her late father, a teacher.
As they passed near the National Gallery of Art, she gripped her son’s hand. They had attended the candlelight vigil on the grassy area of the mall just north of the building on Sunday night. They had joined thousands of family members, survivors, and law enforcement officers as dusk settled over the city. Emotions ran high. Her eyes blurred with fresh tears as she recalled the beauty of the shining lights against the backdrop of the vast mall just a few blocks away from the memorial, where her husband’s name joined over 21,000 others on a wall of marble.
Yesterday, she and Kevin had made a quick appearance at the conference put on for survivors of the fallen officers, but they’d escaped at the first opportunity. They wandered around the mall and the streets bordering it to pass the time. Last night, she and Kevin had visited the Law Enforcement Memorial in the early evening. They placed a rose near Gary’s name in the curved marble wall. They sat on a bench for an hour and watched people visit the wall and make rubbings, as they had done, to capture the name of their loved one.
She could still feel the cool blue-gray marble against the hand she’d rested over Gary’s name. She and Kevin read the inspirational inscriptions under the four bronzed adult lion sculptures at the ends of the memorial walls, positioned as protectors over their young cubs. That’s how she always thought of Gary. The protector. Her protector. Kevin’s protector. Now he was gone.
She forced her thoughts back to the task at hand as the driver pulled to a curb outside the U.S. Capitol. The ceremony was scheduled to take place on the West Front of the building, where inauguration ceremonies were held.
An escort officer met them at the curb and guided them to a path, explaining they would be seated in the front row. Senator Corwin of Virginia, a man Lily knew from his time in the Virginia General Assembly, had asked her to attend the ceremony and be one of the survivors chosen to go on stage during the event.
She knew it was an honor. She knew it was expected. It didn’t lessen the feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. Her position with the Virginia Capitol Police had been highlighted when Gary had been killed. They were both in law enforcement and had risen in the ranks in their respective departments. He on the streets of Richmond, she in the halls of the Capitol.
A young man greeted them as they made their way to the audience chairs. He extended his hand and introduced himself as Senator Corwin’s assistant. He handed each of them a bottle of water and escorted them the rest of the way to their seats, in the middle of the front row. He explained that when the ceremony was over, he would return to help them find their way into the building for the luncheon organized by members of the Senate.
Flowers and greenery graced the stage set up at the bottom of the steps leading to the Capitol Building. The bright blue bunting fluttered in the breeze. Lily turned to look behind her and saw the thousands of chairs set up on the lawn. Law enforcement officers from all over the country were stationed around the area, and many of them escorted family members to their seats.
Both she and Gary had attended the memorial during their careers. They had been honored to be part of the officers chosen to represent the State of Virginia and escort family members to their seats. As she took in the somber faces of those filing into chairs, she knew how much easier it was to honor than to be honored.
She took in the vibrant blue banner that hung behind the stage, announcing National Police Week. The sun beat down and warmed her navy-blue suit jacket against her skin. Thankful for the bright day, she donned her sunglasses. The dark tint hid her sad eyes. She slipped a paper from her purse and looked at the pencil rubbing. His name, Gary E. Reed, stared back at her. She and Kevin made several pencil transfers at the wall. They were tucked away, secured in an envelope in her suitcase, save for the two they brought with them today.
The setting was surreal, as was the ceremony. Lily did her best to cast herself as an onlooker, not part of the service. She tried to observe, used her skill set to take in the crowd and remove herself from the pain of being one of them. The survivors. It was a funny word. She didn’t feel like a survivor.
She focused on the lawmakers who stood on stage and welcomed the family, friends, and co-workers to the solemn service. The President of the United States was introduced and stepped onto the stage from behind a panel. The audience roared with welcoming applause.
President Clarkson, known for his staunch support of law enforcement, did not disappoint. He gave a heartfelt speech, acknowledging the sacrifices made by those who gave their lives in service. He lauded his praise on all those in law enforcement and touted their bravery and selflessness.
He expressed his sincere sympathy and sadness for those left behind. He then invited a few families onstage. Lily tightened her grip on Kevin’s hand as they waited to hear their names.
Uniformed officers escorted them up the short set of stairs to the stage. She stood to the immediate left of President Clarkson. He turned and gripped Lily’s hand in his and wrapped a strong arm around her shoulders. He did the same with Kevin, adding a pat on his back.
He bent and spoke in Lily’s ear. “I know you will miss Gary forever, and I want you to know he will never be forgotten. I know you also serve, and you have my admiration and thanks. I appreciate you being here today. I know this isn’t easy for you or Kevin. I also know this isn’t the first time tragedy has touched your life. I’m sure you’re thinking of your mother today as well as Gary. I’m honored to meet you and Kevin and will hold you in my prayers. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out to me.”
His sincerity struck Lily. She’d served with politicians for her entire career and could detect artificial sentiments and platitudes in a heartbeat. He was the real thing. She saw the raw emotion in his eyes, and his heartfelt words had an impact. She was impressed he had taken the time to learn about her mother’s death so many years ago, her career, and Kevin.
She watched as President Clarkson engaged in a conversation with Kevin, and she saw the glint in her son’s eyes. She couldn’t hold out any longer. Tears cascaded from underneath her sunglasses, down her cheeks.
The president consoled other family members and addressed the audience while they remained on stage behind him. She heard his words of comfort and gratitude. She heard him say Gary’s name and recite his service record and date of death, the fifth of May, last year. A day she would never forget.
Like a leaf floating in a stream, she let herself be guided back to her seat, listened to more dignitaries speak kind words, and wept as a choir sang. The sound of “Taps” playing sent a chill through her. If she never heard another note from a bagpipe, it would be too soon.
The service concluded with the reading of names as each family approached a giant wreath and added a flower representing their loved one. Kevin placed Gary’s flower in the wreath, and they made their way to the other side of the stage. An officer met them and guided them down a pathway that meandered to the building, where Senator Corwin’s assistant led them to the luncheon.
He placed them at a table with four other chairs, not yet occupied. Lily downed the glass of water in front of her, and Kevin reached for the pitcher to refill it. She took off her sunglasses and dabbed at her eyes with a tissue, still clutching the paper with Gary’s name on it.
Soon the room teemed with family members, and their table filled with the parents, wife, and young son of a fallen officer from Norfolk. A choir sang while waiters circled through the room delivering meals. As Lily picked at her plate, she felt a hand on her shoulder.
Senator Bruce Corwin stood before her. “Lily, Kevin.” He gave them a nod. “How are you holding up?”
“Fine, sir. Just glad it’s over.” She gritted her teeth. “Sorry, that’s not what I meant. It was a lovely service. It’s just difficult.”
“I understand, dear. I can’t imagine.” He glanced at Kevin. “One more year at William and Lee I understand? My alma mater.”
“Yes, sir. I’ve decided to pursue a graduate degree in law.”
“Wonderful. If you need anything, references or any help at all, just get in touch with my office. Maybe we’ll see you in this wonderful building one day.
“And Lily, congratulations. I was surprised to hear you’re retiring. I know you’ll be missed. I’m sure it’s bittersweet.”
“Thank you, Senator Corwin. I’m on leave for a few weeks, but Thursday was my last official day on the job. I’m moving. I sold the house and am beginning a new adventure. It’s been a tough year, and things sort of worked out to point me in a new direction.”
“Sometimes change is a good thing, Lily. I know how hard this has been on you.” He shook her hand and clasped Kevin on the shoulder. “You take care, young man.”
She watched as the man she had known for most of her career ambled over to the others at the table and engaged them in conversation. She knew he meant well and that he cared, but it felt more like a duty. She’d become jaded serving with the Virginia Capitol Police and witnessing the hypocrisy that ran rampant through the halls.
After they finished eating, she tilted her head toward the door. “Ready?” she asked.
Kevin stood, and they both shook hands with the others at their table. The shell-shocked look on their faces advertised their devastation. Tears stained their cheeks as they said their goodbyes. They had suffered an unimaginable loss. Bonded forever by their shared experience of overwhelming sorrow, they were all members of the same club.
They could have asked for a car to return them to the hotel, but Lily wanted to be done with the whole ordeal. They took a walk through the grounds, enjoying the groomed beds and colorful flowers. They made a pass through the Library of Congress as an homage to Lily’s mom. She had been a librarian and loved books. When they finished, she led the way to the escalator of the Metro station a block away.
Minutes later they emerged at the station near their hotel. As they strolled the few blocks, Lily chatted about summer plans. “I still feel bad about moving. I hate leaving you behind.”
He grinned. “I’ll be there with you for most of the summer. I don’t come home that much nowadays anyway. I’ve got my apartment in Lexington, and school will start again before I know it. I’ll be busy, so I think it’s a good idea for you to do something new. Away from here.”
Kevin put his arm around his mother’s shoulders. “It’s gonna be okay. Dad would be happy for you. You always talk about how much fun you had there as a kid.”
Tears welled up again. “I just can’t stay here. In our house. I can’t go to work. I’ve tried, and I’m a wreck. I’m worn out from trying. I’m a bit unsure about moving across the country, but there’s no time like the present.” She shoved her shoulder into his. “Maybe you can find a law school out west.”
He gave her a smile that reminded her of Gary. “It could happen.”
She gripped him by both shoulders. “I just want you to be happy. Safe and happy. I’m going to try to do the same, but I can’t do it here. If things don’t work, I can always come back, but it feels like this deal happened for a reason.”
“I understand, Mom. I really do. I’m sort of set on staying here for school, but if you get too lonely, I can look at something out there.”
She shook her head. “No, no. It’s not about me. You do what you need to do and what’s right for you. I know you have great connections at this school. Your roots are here. If you need me, I can be on the next plane. If you want to visit or stay with me, you’re always welcome.”
“Back at ya, Mom. We’ll always have each other.”
They hurried inside the hotel and gathered their bags. A car collected them and dropped Kevin at Union Station to head back to Lexington.
She held him in a long hug and fought back her tears. “Love you, Kev. I’ll call you when I get there. I’ll see you in a few days.”
She waved goodbye as the driver sped away, steering for the airport and the flight that would transport Lily to her new life on the coast of Washington in Driftwood Bay.
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