Chapter 1
The First Twist
It is 12:52 pm on September 22, 2020, and I’m teetering on the edge of a chasm. My footing was firm a second ago, but I’ve lost my balance after stumbling on a handwritten bomb.
Behind me, a wonderful wife and two adoring daughters are smiling in our storybook home. A dream job, a bit of fame, and a world of freedom round out the perfect picture of my past life. Before me is a black void. Staring into it, I envision more pain than I’ve ever experienced. It’s the endless, tormenting, soul wrenching type, and it’s framed in financial ruin.
The explosive object in my hand appears to be nothing but a note. A jotting carelessly left exposed on a busy binder page. But the seven short lines do not fool me. They are domestic dynamite.
There’s an email address, a postal address, a full name, and a long series of numbers. I recognize the name and address of my wife’s best friend, Marina Osnovikov. I recognize the numerical pattern as a credit card, complete with security code. And I recognize the @disso.com email address for what it is: the flame that will spark the explosion.
In California, a “disso” is a spreadsheet produced by the infamous DissoMaster software program. It refers to dissolution as in dissolution of marriage. In short, a disso is an alimony and child support calculation.
The law firm that owned that power domain would be staffed by archetypal divorce attorneys. Ruthless, soulless, and more expensive minute-by-minute than a Michelin three-star restaurant.
The inescapable conclusion comes quickly. The love of my life and the mother of my children is secretly preparing to sue me for divorce while taking counsel from sharks.
I am about to lose my wife, half my children, and two-thirds of my marital assets.
If that scenario summed up my story, it would still qualify as a tragedy, but it would not merit a biography. I would have written another spy novel rather than this memoir, perhaps killing off the series character based on my wife in some dark, cathartic escapade.
However, as you likely noted, you are reading a chapter titled The First Twist in a book called What New Hell Next? written by an author known for the originality of his thrillers. Therefore, you are expecting something far more unusual, sad, and surprising.
You are right to do so.
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