Unresolved Issues

by Wanda B. Campbell

Genres: African American; African American Christian

Synopsis

Stacelyn thought her life was complete the day she married Dr. Derrick Garrison. The fairytale life she envisioned quickly vanishes, however, when Derrick's late nights and unexplained absences cause her to question his motives for marrying her. As secrets from the past and emotional wounds are revealed, Stacelyn discovers the hard way that it takes more than love to build a marriage. Alone and bitter after Derrick's sudden departure, Stacelyn is forced to face hard truths about the man she married. In the process, she discovers her own unresolved issues. Will the revelations drive her to her knees, or send her seeking comfort from the enemy? Wanda B. Campbell is a graduate of Western Career College in San Leandro, California. She has spent the past twenty years serving the public through the public healthcare system in Alameda County. As an ordained elder, she conducted couples ministry for more than ten years along with her husband, and is currently pursuing her bachelor's degree in biblical studies.

Release date: August 15, 2012

Publisher: Urban Christian

Print pages: 288

Sample

After securing her seat belt, Stacelyn Garrison checked her rearview mirror before backing her silver Mercedes out of her three-car garage and on to Tunnel Road. As she slowly drove away, the massive image of her house filled the rearview mirror and Staci wondered how two people could live in a house as beautiful as hers and not be happy.

The Garrisons lived in the Oakland-Berkeley hills overlooking both Oakland and Berkeley and the Caldecott Tunnel. From her hilltop home, she enjoyed great views of both the Oakland and San Francisco skylines. The two-story, six-bedroom, Mediterranean-style home was a wedding present from her parents nearly one year ago. “It’s only been a year,” she stated out loud while driving down the winding narrow road that would lead her to Highway 13. It felt more like a decade.

Her husband, Derrick, had opened his dental practice just one year ago and had already established a steady flow of patients. Staci served as chief operating officer of MS Computers, a company founded by her brother, Marcus. Lack of money was not an issue for the Garrisons. Their stock portfolio looked good. Real estate investments showed marginal profits thanks to the real estate boom in California before the current slump. The couple could drive the best and wear the best. If they so desired, they could eat at five-star restaurants every night. So why weren’t they happy? Staci had been asking herself that question quite often lately.

The two met in her sophomore year at Humboldt State where she was a business major. Derrick was a senior and a biology major. Staci remembered the day Derrick walked into her life as if it were yesterday.

After three days of pestering, Staci allowed her roommate, Crystal, to talk her into going to a football game against Fresno State. Crystal dated one of the wide receivers on Humboldt’s team and wanted to match Staci up with one of the linebackers.

“What’s wrong with him?” Staci had asked for the umpteenth time.

“Nothing is wrong with Derrick,” Crystal answered.

Staci wasn’t convinced. “Then why are you trying so hard to fix him up? I’m sure there are plenty of females on campus ready and willing to date a jock. Especially, if he’s as great as you claim he is.”

“Derrick plays football, but he’s not a jock, at least not in the way you may think. He keeps to himself and is very polite.” Crystal fell to the floor and looked underneath the bed for her brown, fur-cuffed boots. “He’s different, like you,” she said once she found the boots.

Staci was really concerned now. She folded her arms. “What do you mean he’s different like me?”

“You know, he’s a church boy.”

Staci leaned against the closed door and exhaled. “You assume I’ll like him just because he attends church?”

Crystal slipped on her boots, then turned to face Staci. “Look, girl, you’re always talking about how you want to find a saved man to have a godly relationship with. I don’t think you’ll find anyone more saved than Derrick Garrison. He’s so saved, he carries his Bible with him everywhere he goes. When he’s asked how he’s doing, Derrick replies by saying, ‘Blessed and highly favored.’” Crystal laughed.

With that comment, both their eyes fell on Staci’s bed, where her Bible lay open. “I’m telling you, the two of you will be good together.”

Staci’s resolve waivered. “What does he look like?”

Crystal stretched to reach the photo album from the top shelf of her closet. The picture she had of the Lumberjacks didn’t offer a good image of Derrick Garrison. But from what Staci could make out, he didn’t look like a serial killer. He appeared tall and well built with curly hair. “He might be okay,” Staci conceded.

Reluctantly, Staci agreed to meet number seventy-two because she hadn’t yet met anyone suitable to her spiritual and physical taste, and mainly because she didn’t want to stay in her dorm all weekend. After the football game, the team was meeting at the team’s dormitory for what they hoped would be a victory celebration. A party might be just what she needed.

“Just this once,” Staci said and went to her small closet to find something to wear.

Staci watched sports with her two brothers and many uncles and was familiar with the game of football. During the game at the Redwood Bowl, Staci followed along with such intensity that Crystal had to tell her to stop yelling in her ear. Staci observed number seventy-two for the Lumberjacks tackle runners with little effort and sack the quarterback three times. After each play, number seventy-two always offered a hand of assistance to his victims. Staci thought the gesture nice. Maybe he really was a Christian. She was well aware of brothers using the “Jesus card” to get the sisters underneath the sheets, and then leaving them to face judgment alone. Several guys had tried the exact thing with her, but she stood her ground vowing to remain sexually pure until marriage.

While waiting for the team after the game, Staci’s nerves got the best of her and she changed her mind about meeting Derrick, but it was too late. Rodney, Crystal’s boyfriend, approached with what Staci considered a giant. Up close, Derrick Garrison was huge! Six feet five and Staci guessed, over 250 pounds. Like in the photo, his black hair was thick and curly. On his bright-complexioned face rested a thick mustache. She thought he resembled Tom Selleck with a tan on the vintage show Magnum PI. As for his torso, former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger in his youth never looked as good as Derrick Garrison did at that moment. As he got closer, she noticed the Bible tucked underneath his arm.

“Staci, I’d like for you meet the Preacher Man,” Rodney chuckled, then turned to Derrick. “This is Missionary Evangelist Stacelyn Simone.”

After rolling her eyes at Rodney, Staci smiled at Derrick.

Derrick didn’t respond to Rodney’s mocking. Staci assumed he was accustomed to it. Crystal had mentioned his teammates referred to him as Preacher Man or Church Boy.

“Hello, Ms. Simone. My name is Derrick Garrison.” He extended his enormous hand to her, and she slowly, almost timidly, shook it.

“Hello, Derrick, it’s nice to meet you. Please, call me Staci.” The temperature outside was less than fifty degrees, but Staci suddenly felt a heat wave.

“Sure,” Derrick said. “Although I think Stacelyn is more beautiful.”

Staci wasn’t sure of what to say next. Derrick appeared not to know either. They stood there in silence smiling at each other.

“We’ll see you guys at the party, providing the two of you remember how to walk and talk before midnight,” Crystal teased. Then she and Rodney sprinted away before either Derrick or Staci could protest.

Staci and Derrick never made it to the party that night. After the awkwardness passed, they went back to Staci’s dorm. Barely anyone hung around the dorms on Saturday nights. They had the lounge area to themselves. That first night, they sat on the couch eating Chinese takeout and discussing the Bible for over two hours. When Derrick finally left, the only things Staci knew about Derrick Garrison, outside of his love for God, were that he had also grown up in the Bay Area and planned to attend the University of San Francisco’s School of Dentistry.

For the first two months, they met on the weekends and discussed the Bible. If their schedules permitted, they would attend Sunday services together at a local church. The services weren’t as lively as the Bay Area services, but it was enough to get them prepared for the week ahead. After service, they would grab a bite at Porter’s, the favorite local BBQ spot, and just talk. They weren’t dating, just spending time together and getting to know each other.

Over time, Staci learned that Derrick was from a single-parent home. He was the product of an interracial, extramarital affair; his mother, an African American nurse, and his father, a white cardiac surgeon. It would be years later before Staci learned how much growing up without a father had damaged Derrick. He had a younger teenage sister and considered himself to be the man of the family.

When Staci told Derrick she was from a wealthy family, he didn’t seem to mind and didn’t treat her any differently. She appreciated him for that.

As time went on, Staci found herself growing fonder of Derrick. From day one she was physically attracted to him. Secretly, Staci nicknamed him teddy bear, because when he hugged her good night, he felt like a big teddy bear. She looked forward to his compliments and his nightly phone calls almost as much as she did going to class. It was during one of those eleven-fifty-nine phone calls about six months into their friendship that he invited her to dinner in his dorm kitchen.

That night after she finished the dinner he’d prepared for her, Derrick asked her in his special way to be his girl. While taking away her dirty dishes from the table in the dorm lounge, he handed her a folded note that read, Will you go with me? Staci thought it was cute and immediately checked the yes box.

Suddenly, the words on the green and white billboard caught Staci’s attention. She was so caught up in her trip down memory lane, she almost missed her exit. She quickly darted over into the far right lane amid honking horns and offensive hand gestures. Staci apologetically waved to the drivers behind her and exited the freeway.

She pulled into her reserved stall at the Emery Bay parking garage, but still couldn’t take her mind off of her marriage. Since their honeymoon almost a year ago, Derrick seemed to have lost interest in her. Lately, he was always too busy to spend time with her except when he wanted to have sex. That was only once or twice a month, on the days he thought she was ovulating. At first, Staci overlooked his behavior because she knew how much Derrick wanted a baby. She figured she would have conceived quickly since they didn’t use any form of birth control, but that didn’t happen.

At first, Staci didn’t mind, but now his lack of interest was slowly depleting her self-esteem. She was beginning to think the only reason Derrick married her was so he could have a baby to replace the one she aborted. The encounter this morning was evidence of that. Derrick had pounced on her the second the alarm sounded. Her soft teddy bear transformed into a killer bear seeking its prey. He didn’t even say good morning.

Staci reached into the backseat for her briefcase and tried to remember the last time Derrick told her he loved her, and couldn’t. She couldn’t remember the last time they had a romantic evening alone. Or the last time he held her just because. Or the last time he called her his beautiful Stacelyn. The last time they took a shower or bubble bath together felt like a lifetime ago. She could, however, remember the last time she had a satisfying sexual experience. That was three months ago.

“God, help me find ways to please my husband,” she whispered as she stepped from the car and entered the building. “Show me what to do to renew his interest in me.” She voiced the frustrated prayer before stepping into the elevator.

Derrick walked into his dental office wearing a big smile. “Good morning, Phyllis,” he greeted his office manager on his way to his office.

“Good morning, Doctor. What are you so happy about this morning?”

He looked over his shoulder and answered, “Life.”

Today, life was good for Derrick Garrison, DDS. He’d been tracking Staci’s menstrual cycle for months, and he was sure he had the right day. If anything was going to happen, it was going to be today. To ensure the connection was made, he had denied himself the entire month to make sure he had a plenteous supply for this day. Yes, today was the day. He was sure he’d impregnated Staci this morning.

He knew Staci hadn’t enjoyed their encounter this morning, but that was a minor detail. Once she was pregnant, he would take more care and more time to satisfy her needs.

You said the same thing last month and the month before that and before that, his conscience reminded him, but he quickly shook that thought away. Surely Staci understood how much he wanted to have a baby after what happened before. They would have the rest of their lives to enjoy their lovemaking. He wanted a baby right now, especially since his boys, Marcus and Brian, were expecting.

True, Derrick hadn’t been able to hold a conversation with his wife without it turning into an argument, and, yes, he spent more time than needed at the office, but his office had only been open a year and he needed to work hard to survive, he rationalized. Derrick completely ignored the fact that his first year had been so successful, he had to hire another dentist and a hygienist to assist with the patient load. He attributed his phenomenal success to the favor of God. Now, if God would favor him with a baby, he’d be happy.

“Maybe I should bring her some flowers or cook her favorite meal for dinner,” he mumbled from his guilty conscience. He considered the notion, but then decided against it, not wanting to leave the office early.

Derrick sat at his desk and studied his schedule for the day. Three root canals, six fillings, and a crown. Not bad, he thought. His eyes roamed his office. Staci had done a wonderful job of decorating it for him. The doctor’s private office resembled the office of a business executive. He loved the oversized oak desk and matching custom cabinet and bookshelf. The blue window treatments matched perfectly with the blue specks in the plush gray carpet. One wall was reserved for his degrees, the other three were covered with framed African American art. On his desk, a fourteen carat gold-trimmed name plate read: Derrick Garrison, DDS.

“You always know how to take care of me,” he said in reference to his wife after he opened the minirefrigerator Staci kept stocked with his favorite snacks for the times when he wouldn’t be able to take a lunch break.

In his opinion, Staci was the perfect wife. She even bought his clothes because, as Staci put it, he didn’t have a clue when it came to color coordination. On their first official date, he wore blue jeans, an orange-and green-striped shirt, tan jacket, and black shoes.

After opening the cabinet that encased his minisound system and hitting the PLAY button, Derrick picked up the picture of him and Staci on their wedding day while enjoying the jazz sounds of Tim Bowman. There was no one on earth more beautiful than his Staci; maybe his mother, but in a different way. He loved Staci’s smooth, light brown skin and shoulder-length, naturally curly hair. Staci was his heart, his love, the only woman he’d been intimate with, and the only one he wanted. No one knew him like Staci, and that’s the way he liked it.

They went through a very rocky time after breaking their vows to God and practicing fornication and ended up with an unplanned pregnancy. It took awhile, but Derrick was able to forgive Staci for having an abortion, and then married her. Derrick never doubted Staci loved him no matter what and would always be there for him. She showed him every day, even on days like today when he’d shown little regard for her feelings. He knew no matter what time he strolled into the house, dinner would be waiting for him in the microwave and his pajamas lying on the chaise. If he needed anything, Staci would stop whatever she was doing and be right by his side.

Why can’t you show her the same consideration? Why can’t you show her how much you love her?

“Staci knows how much I love her,” he said out loud to his conscience.

I don’t know how; you haven’t told her in a while.

Derrick didn’t have time to battle with his mind. He quickly changed into his work smock and went to see his first patient.

“Good morning, Chloe,” Staci greeted her secretary as she retrieved her messages.

“Mr. Simone would like to see you when you get a minute.”

“Thanks, Chloe, tell him I’m here.”

Staci set her briefcase on her desk and stared out the window. The San Francisco skyline was obstructed by a thick blanket of fog hovering over the Bay. The sight reminded her of the fog that had settled over her marriage. She knew it was there, but she couldn’t see it clearly; just an outline of what was supposed to be. Her first-year wedding anniversary was only a few weeks away. She had to do something to chase the dark clouds away from her marriage, but what? Staci prayed every day and read every scripture she knew about marriage. Now it was time to be innovative. She had to figure how to get her husband interested in her again before her marriage fell apart.

“A wise woman builds her house,” she mumbled. That’s what she’d heard all her life at church and at home. Being the only daughter allotted her plenty of one-on-one time with her mother. Having been married for almost thirty-five years, Alaina Simone was a good role model. As far as Staci’s memory could take her, her parents have always been in love and didn’t care who knew it. Many times she and her brothers would catch them kissing or playing games with each other, but they didn’t care. Carey and Alaina felt it was important for their children to see healthy and loving interaction in the home.

Alaina respected Carey as a king. Carey practically worshipped the ground Alaina walked on. From observing her mother, Staci knew how to make a man feel like the king of his castle. She knew how to balance working outside the home and at the same time not neglect her man. Alaina had successfully run an advertising agency and raised three children.

From her father, Staci learned how a woman should be honored and cherished. As a little girl, her father opened doors for her and pulled out chairs. He brought her flowers on her birthday and candy on Valentine’s Day. When she was sick, he prayed for her, and he always kissed her good night. For her sixteenth birthday, her father took her on her first date to dinner at a revolving restaurant overlooking San Francisco, and then to see Phantom of the Opera. In her eyes, Carey Simone was the ultimate man. That’s what attracted her to Derrick.

In the beginning, Derrick gave her the same love and respect her father had. When she was with him, Derrick made her feel like she was the most important person in the world. When they were together, she never had to worry about anything. She felt secure and loved. That was then; now, most of the time, she felt open and vulnerable.

Spiritually, she knew Derrick was falling too. She hadn’t seen him reading his Bible lately, and his morning-prayer and meditation hour had dwindled to a quick recital of rehearsed words.

Staci sat at her desk and turned on her computer. She was smiling at her wedding picture screen saver when Marcus stepped into her office.

“Good morning, I have an idea I want to run by you.” Marcus walked around her desk and stood next to her and spread the blueprints out on the desk.

Staci loved her big brother beyond measure. Marcus was more than her brother; he was her friend. Marcus trusted Staci with his life and more important, with his money, and allowed her to run MS Computers while he pursued his music career. On paper, Marcus was the CEO and Staci the COO. In actuality, they were more like partners. Marcus never made a final decision without Staci’s input. And as long as the bottom line showed a profit, Marcus gave Staci the liberty to run the company as she saw fit.

“What’s on your mind?” Staci asked.

“These are the floor plans for our fourth store.”

“I didn’t know you wanted to go ahead with this so soon,” she replied with a raised eyebrow. “Do you really think Corte Madera has the right market?”

“Based on the research I’ve done, I think it’s perfect.”

Marcus was probably right. She hadn’t had a chance to look over the research yet.

“I want to get this out of the way while Shannon’s pregnant. After the twins are born, I’m taking some time off from music and the business. You know, to do the father thing.”

“I wish it was me taking time off to do the mother thing.” Staci hoped her desperation didn’t sound in her voice.

“Give it some time. You haven’t been married a year yet.”

She rolled her eyes. “That’s easy for you to say. Shannon got pregnant on your honeymoon.”

“What can I say? I’ve got some powerful stuff,” Marcus chuckled. “Give my boy some time. He’ll catch on.”

“How is Shannon?” Staci had to redirect the conversation before she said something she’d regret. Marcus didn’t know she and Derrick had premarital sex so she couldn’t tel. . .