Silver Lining

by Wanda B. Campbell

Genres: African American Christian; African American Urban; African American Women's Fiction; Christian Fiction

Synopsis

Ordained Minister Wanda B. Campbell (Illusions) serves up another strong story of loss and redemption sure to invoke a sense of joy and hope that no matter how bad things get, there's always a "silver lining."?The "honeymoon glow" isn't even off blushing new bride Marlissa Scott-Jennings' face when the dark demons of inadequacy emerge from her past. The pressure of living a dream existence with prominent physician Kevin is a life she doesn't feel worthy of. So she soon finds solace in alcohol, which seems, to her, to quiet the insecurities of her soul. But her drinking and the behavior it sparks is ruining her marriage, and soon Kevin's had enough. . ..?Leon Scott had everything a man could hope for—a beautiful wife, Starla, a loving family, a thriving business. But when his younger brother's murdered, the pain is unbearable, and he, like Marlissa, takes refuge in a bottle. It isn't long before he sabotages his business and his family life, even though his dearest wish is to get back on track again. An unlikely pair, Marlissa and Leon meet up one night and make a pact to work together to stay sober and win their loved ones back—even if Kevin and Starla seem to have moved on without them. . ..

Release date: October 24, 2011

Publisher: Urban Christian

Print pages: 304

Sample

Marlissa stared intensely at her reflection. The woman looking back at her certainly was not the same hurting, reckless woman who tried to self-destruct almost two years ago with her friends: Hennessy, vodka, and Cisco. Physically, she was the same, except now the red eyes and ashen skin were gone and her hair was longer and thicker. She was also twenty-five pounds heavier now that she was eating her dinner instead of drinking it. Her clothing size had jumped from size eight to size ten. Marlissa didn’t mind because with the added weight, her five foot eight frame didn’t resemble that of an anorexic anymore.

Emotionally, anxiety and grandiosity, along with isolation, started their retreat the night she walked down that long aisle to the altar at Restoration Ministries. With only inches separating her and the minister, Marlissa dropped to her knees and surrendered her life to the Lord. At the time, Marlissa could not say she really believed in God, or was even sober for that matter, but the words spoken by the preacher sparked hope in the core of her wounded being. Real hope; that was something she had not felt in years.

As a child, Marlissa’s grandmother sent her to church on a regular basis. During Sunday School, Marlissa had listened intently to what she called the greatest fairy tales she had ever heard. On Christmas and Easter, although Marlissa recited her preprinted speech with style, she could not feel or relate to the words on the index card. Marlissa viewed Jesus as a Prince Charming or superhero who would one day come and clean the world of all the bad people. He would take away the rain and the thunder. The world would be covered with green grass and people and animals would live in the fields together. Jesus was the person to call on in trouble. But on her day of trouble, He didn’t come for her. Marlissa never called Him again until that night she and Leon staggered into church, sloppy drunk.

That was a year ago. Now Marlissa had two new friends: Jesus and Leon Scott. Ironically, she had met Leon at a club during one of her drinking binges. Both being alcoholics, the two understood each other and instantly bonded. Needing a place to live other than on the streets of Oakland, the two became roommates. Together, they accepted the Lord and stopped drinking. Every day was an uphill battle, but each worked hard, and encouraged the other to lean on the Lord, stay sober, and work on mending the fences each had mowed down with a semi truck. Their first order of business was to restore the hearts and relationships their addiction allowed them to break.

“Are you sure you don’t need me to come with you?” Leon asked from the doorway of her bedroom, interrupting her thoughts.

Marlissa’s eyes traveled from her mirrored image to the legal-sized envelope on her nightstand. In slow, deliberate motion, she shook her head from side to side before answering. “Thanks, big bro, but I have to do this by myself.”

Marlissa sometimes called Leon “big bro” because his last name was the same as her maiden name. At thirty-four, Leon was three years older and treated her the way a brother would treat a younger sister, always trying to tell her what to do. Marlissa molded with ease to the role of a nagging sister. Being an only child, Marlissa had always wanted an older brother, someone to look out for her. She did not have a big brother to run home to back then, but, no matter what happened today, Leon’s shoulder would be waiting for her.

“Are you sure?” Leon offered again.

Her eyes moved back to her reflection. “I’ve made my bed and now I have to lie in it. Alone, I might add.”

“Don’t remind me,” Leon responded. He was more familiar with an empty bed than he’d like to have been. His alcohol addiction had cost him his wife of five years and two small children. “Do you know what you’re going to say?”

Marlissa turned to face him and hunched her shoulders. “Other than I am sorry, what do you say to the man you promised to love until death, then twisted his heart until it crumbled?”

It was Leon’s turn to shrug. “Maybe he’ll give you another chance?”

Marlissa turned and began searching her jewelry box for her dangling beaded earrings. “I doubt if that happens. What I really want to do is clear the air. You know, take responsibility for my actions and hope he doesn’t hate me forever.”

“He’s a Christian, remember. He can’t hate you.”

“He is saved, but even saved people have their limit. And trust me; I pushed him past his breaking point.” Marlissa glanced at the envelope again and her eyes watered. “I messed up. I really blew it.”

Leon quickly entered her room and held her, and, for the third time in as many days, allowed her to cry on his shoulder. “We both have, but God is able to restore. Isn’t that what Pastor Drake teaches every Sunday at Restoration Ministries?”

Marlissa sniffled. “Yes.” She then listened as Leon prayed for her pending divorce proceedings and for his reunification with his wife. She couldn’t help but laugh when he made her recite Pastor Drake’s motto: “If God can’t fix it, it can’t be fixed.”

“Do you think she’ll show?” Kevin asked his lawyer, trying to hide his anxiety of coming face-to-face with his estranged wife. Marlissa was already five minutes late, but that wasn’t unusual for her. Kevin had vivid memories of waiting into the wee hours of the morning for her to come home. Or for the police to call and say they found her passed out on the highway somewhere.

“I doubt it. Neither she nor an attorney responded to the petition. My guess is she probably didn’t read it.” Tyson Stokes pursed his lips. “Then again, I could be wrong. Now that you’re divorcing her, she might sober up long enough to try to take you for every dime.”

Kevin could not believe that, but, then again, he could not believe he had allowed himself to fall in love with and subsequently marry an alcoholic. Kevin thought he was much smarter than that. In hindsight, he saw every warning sign, every flashing red light. He heard every siren, including his mother, Pastor Rosalie Jennings, preaching.

“That woman is not saved, she’s pretending,” is what his mother constantly barked. “She’s hiding something.” Kevin made a habit of discarding anything his mother had to say about the women he liked. No one was ever good enough for her only son. During many lonely nights he reconsidered his practice of tuning out his mother’s voice.

Kevin checked his watch for the umpteenth time. “Ten more minutes and I’m out of here. I have a full schedule this afternoon.”

Riding the elevator to the sixteenth floor en route to Lightfoot & Stokes, attorneys at law, Marlissa reflected on the day she first laid eyes on Dr. Kevin Jennings.

She was rushing through the grocery store entrance as he was leaving, and she banged her leg on his cart.

“Ouch!” she screamed.

“I’m sorry, miss. Are you all right?” The deep voice was enough to make Marlissa temporarily lose focus on the pain. The face and body that accompanied the voice were more than enough incentive for her to put homeboy Cisco on hold, for a while anyway. He was six foot three, she estimated, dark chocolate, with the most developed upper body she had ever seen. It was as if every muscle in his arms and chest had been chiseled by a master designer, then slowly developed. His clean-shaven face housed soft, yet the sincerest, brown eyes she had seen. They instantly drew her into his essence.

“I’m fine. I just banged my leg a little,” she finally answered.

“Can I take a look? I’m a doctor,” he asked. “I just want to make sure the injury is superficial.”

Marlissa did not like the idea of a strange man touching her, but for reasons she could not explain, she did not want to leave this stranger’s presence, not this soon. When she did not respond, he extended his hand to her.

“Hello, I’m Kevin Jennings. And you are?”

“I’m Marlissa Scott,” she answered after bringing her mind into focus. She then gave him a light, impersonal handshake.

“Now that we’ve been officially introduced, follow me to my car and I’ll take a look at your leg.”

Marlissa wasn’t following this strange man anywhere, no matter how fine he was. “Why can’t you check me right here?” she asked, leaning against his cart.

“My prosthesis won’t allow me to kneel.” Kevin pointed to his lower right leg. “If you sit down, I’ll be able to examine you better.”

Suddenly, Marlissa wasn’t smitten anymore. “Hold on, I thought you said you are a doctor. How can you be a doctor and be a cripple? That’s a lame pick-up line and I am not impressed!” Marlissa went on a rampage, shaking her head and waving her finger in his face. “You all up in here talking about follow you outside so you can look at my leg. Humph, for all I know you could be a rapist or something!”

“Hold on!” Kevin raised his voice above hers. “I am not a rapist and I’m not trying to pick you up. I’m a doctor, an ophthalmologic surgeon to be exact. I’m impaired, not crippled. I operate with my hands, not my leg.” Kevin stepped back behind his cart. “I was just trying to help, but for all I care, you can go and sit five hours in the emergency room.” Kevin shook his head and walked away, grumbling, “Crazy woman.”

For a reason Marlissa couldn’t explain, she didn’t want him to think she was really a basket case. “Hold on,” she called after him. When he didn’t stop, she tried to run to catch him, but couldn’t ignore the pain shooting through her leg.

“Ouch!” Her agony was enough to get his attention. Against his better judgment, Kevin stopped and waited for her.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you. I mean, you never know who to trust these days.” Marlissa hoped her smile would soften his stance.

For the first time Kevin took a good look at the crazy woman who had just called him a rapist. Touched in the head or not, she was an attractive woman; tall and leggy and the color of coffee with two servings of cream. The bob haircut outlined high cheekbones and a set of full lips. Her elongated nose revealed her African American and Indian ancestry.

“Maybe you should just go to the emergency room,” he suggested, but not nearly as firmly as before.

“No, I want you to examine me. It’ll save me a lot of time.”

“I’m parked over there.” He pointed to a silver SUV.

They walked to his vehicle in silence. Marlissa watched his every step. Aside from a slight limp, Kevin walked normally and with ease.

“Sit here,” Kevin said after opening his trunk.

Without protest, Marlissa sat down on the base of the vehicle and lifted her pant leg. As Kevin gently examined her, she tried to make conversation.

“What happened to your leg?”

“Car accident when I was a sophomore in high school, severed my right leg below the knee,” Kevin answered without taking his eyes away from her leg. “Does this hurt?” he asked, extending her leg.

“ No.”

“Point and flex your foot.”

She obeyed. “How long have you had an artificial leg?”

“I’ve worn a prosthesis since I was sixteen.” He released her leg.

“You’ve adapted well. If you hadn’t told me, I wouldn’t have known.”

“Nothing’s broken, but you do have a slight bruise. Ice it tonight and you’ll be fine.” Kevin stood upright, signaling that it was time for her to leave. Marlissa sensed his defensiveness and made the first move.

“Kevin, excuse me, Dr. Jennings, thank you for helping me. I really didn’t mean to upset you back there.”

Kevin shrugged. “These days it’s understandable, but it still doesn’t feel good to be called a rapist.”

“It’s not exactly a compliment to be considered certifiably crazy either.”

They let down their defenses and shared a laugh. When they said good-bye twenty minutes later, they’d exchanged numbers and made plans to meet for dinner the following evening.

That was almost four years ago. After a year of dating, they were married in a lavish ceremony at his mother’s church. Marlissa had wanted a small, private wedding, considering she didn’t have much family. She’d never had the honor of meeting the man who’d participated in her conception, and her mother had died during childbirth. Her grandmother had suffered a stroke and died, suddenly, the day after Marlissa turned twenty-one. The only family members Marlissa knew of were a couple of aunts and distant cousins. However, Pastor Jennings had insisted on a grand affair. In Marlissa’s opinion, Rosalie Jennings cared more about making her church friends jealous than she did about her son’s happiness. Their wedding had more to do with her than Kevin and Marlissa. Pastor Jennings chose the colors, the flowers, and the bridesmaids and their dresses. She even selected the favors.

The elevator’s wooden doors parted, bringing Marlissa back to the present. Walking down the hall to suite 1621, she forced the tears back. In a few minutes, she would see the man she’d vowed to spend the rest of her life with. The man who was supposed to be the father of her future children. The man she had intended to forsake all others for. The only man she had ever loved and still loved.

Kevin stood and walked over to the window after reading the conference room clock for the third time. In a way, he was relieved his estranged wife had not shown. When he last saw her, eighteen months ago, she looked and smelled like death to him. As deeply as she had cut him, Kevin couldn’t stand to see her destroy herself, so he stopped looking for her. From the sixteenth-floor window, his eyes traveled down to the streets of downtown Oakland, wondering if Marlissa was sprawled out in an alley somewhere. Kevin knew she was still alive; at least, she had been a month ago when Tyson handed her the divorce petition at her current job site.

“Mr. Stokes, Marlissa Jennings is here.”

Kevin’s breath caught upon hearing the receptionist’s voice over the intercom. No sooner had he exhaled and turned to face the door than his wife stood no more than five feet away from him.

“Sorry I’m late. Parking downtown is horrendous,” Marlissa offered, mainly to soften the daggers Kevin’s eyes threw directly and instantly at her. It was then that she saw how deeply his anger for her was embedded. The softness she once found in his eyes was gone. Aside from that, Kevin looked wonderful. From the beginning, Marlissa had labeled him the “finest man ever created.”

Being the no-nonsense business man he was, Tyson Stokes cut to the chase. “Mrs. Jennings, will your lawyer be joining us soon?”

“I don’t have a lawyer.”

“Mrs. Jennings, the letter I gave you advised you to obtain representation.”

“Mr. Stokes, I don’t know a lot about divorce proceedings, but from what I do know, if the divorce is not contested, the process is less complicated,” Marlissa offered.

“That’s correct, but you still need representation to protect your interest in the marital estate,” Tyson explained.

Marlissa nervously wrung her hands. “Mr. Stokes, I don’t have any interest in the marital estate.”

That statement took both Kevin and Tyson by surprise. With the two of them gaping at her like she was an alien, Marlissa took control of the situation before she lost her courage. “Tyson, Kevin, can we sit down? There’s something I need to say.” Without waiting for them to take their seats, Marlissa pulled out her chair and sat down. Once Kevin was settled, she took a deep breath and began.

“Kevin.” When he didn’t respond, Marlissa wanted to leave, but her heart wouldn’t allow her. If she was ever going to move on with her life, she had to close this door, despite how painful and heavy it was.

“Kevin,” she continued, “when I married you I was a wounded little girl in a woman’s body. I didn’t love myself. I didn’t even like myself. For that reason alone I shouldn’t have married you. I didn’t know how to love you.”

Kevin shifted in his seat but still didn’t speak.

“About a year ago, I found the Lord. Actually, He found me. Since that night, I’ve learned a lot about myself. I’ve stopped drowning my pain with alcohol and I am learning to face my issues head-on. That’s why I’m here. I need your forgiveness.”

“Mrs. Jennings, my client is dissolving this marriage,” Tyson interrupted.

“I understand, but please let me finish.” Marlissa directed her attention back to Kevin. “Kevin, I am so sorry for the many ways I hurt you. I’m sorry for the lies and the broken trust. I am sorry for rejecting the love you freely offered me. You were a good and patient husband, and I’m sorry I couldn’t love you the way you deserve to be loved. I am sorry I couldn’t let you inside.” Marlissa placed her hand over her chest and felt the erratic beat of her heart. “Kevin, can you please forgive me?”

Kevin looked away without answering.

“Mr. Stokes,” she pressed on through Kevin’s silence. She had to finish before she fell apart. “I understand California is a community property state. However, I don’t want anything, not even alimony. If you draw up the necessary document, I’ll sign it before I leave.”

Tyson was always prepared. “Give me a few minutes and I’ll have a notary here.” Marlissa nodded her consent and Tyson left the conference room. Kevin walked back to the window. Marlissa did not miss the message his body language sent. Her husband did not want to have anything to do with her; he couldn’t even sit at the same table with her. After a few cold moments, Marlissa conceded total defeat.

“Kevin, I pray that one day you’ll forgive me. More than anything, I want you to find someone who will love you the way you deserve to be loved.”

Kevin continued looking out the window.

When Tyson returned along with the notary, Marlissa signed the documents in complete silence. The second after the notary sealed the document, Marlissa pushed away from the table.

“Good-bye, Kevin.” Marlissa remained composed long enough to get past the receptionist, but the long walk to the elevator was too much. She needed a private place to release her pain. In the solace of the bathroom stall, Marlissa cried until there weren’t any tears left.

“Son, you’re doing the right thing. It’s time for you to move on with your life.”

A month ago, Kevin could not have agreed with his mother more. But that was before he had seen Marlissa. The woman who walked into the conference room dressed in the black business suit was not the drunk who nearly had made him lose his mind and robbed him of his self-esteem in the process. Marlissa didn’t even look the same. Her hair was longer and she’d gained a few pounds. The alterations enhanced her natural beauty to the point that Kevin thought she looked more beautiful now than she did on their wedding day. Marlissa sounded different, too. It wasn’t her voice that had changed; it was the words she used and the gentleness in which she spoke.

During the year they had lived together, Marlissa was never as considerate or sincere as she had been in that conference room. She was always combative and defensive toward him, especially when it came down to lovemaking.

Kevin had known she wasn’t experienced, but neither was he. His relationship with Marlissa was the first in which he’d let his protective shield down long enough to fall in love. Most women were either infatuated with him because he was a doctor or because they felt sorry for him. But not Marlissa. Not one time did she bombard him with questions about his bank account or assets. In fact, she did not accept any gifts from him until Kevin presented her with a new Lexus as a wedding present. As for feeling sorry for him, Marlissa didn’t lower her expectations of him because of his impairment, nor did she sugarcoat her words. Back then Kevin appreciated her realness. Later, he would resent her, and the venom from her mouth would almost destroy him.

“Mom, you’re probably right, but I shouldn’t be discussing this with you, you’ve never liked Marlissa.”

Pastor Jennings chose her words carefully. “Baby, it’s not that I don’t like your wife. I just think there’s someone else better suited for you.”

Kevin maneuvered from his mother’s office chair. “You mean someone you’ve chosen for me, someone like Reyna?”

Reyna Mills had grown up in Pastor Jennings’s church and under her teachings. Reyna’s mother and Rosalie were old friends, with over thirty years of history. Pastor Jennings was present at Reyna’s birth, performed her baptism, and, if she had her way, Pastor Jennings would have the honor of officiating Reyna and Kevin’s wedding ceremony. At thirty-three, Reyna was only a year younger than Kevin and an almost exact replica of his mother. Reyna dressed like Pastor Jennings, even talked like her. That alone was the reason Kevin could not take Reyna’s attraction to him seriously.

“This is not about what I want for you,” Pastor Jennings defended. “But if you had listened to me, you wouldn’t be in this predicament.”

“Mother, you can save the ‘I told you so’ speech.”

Pastor Jennings walked around her desk and interlocked her arm in her son’s. “Baby, I won’t say I told you so, but I will say this: you are too young to be miserable. Your life with Marlissa was never good. The two of you are unequally yoked. You made the mistake of marrying her, but you don’t have to spend the rest of your life with someone who cares more for a bottle than she does for you.” Pastor Jennings paused to let her words settle. “Marlissa has moved on, shouldn’t you?”

Kevin smiled at his mother then kissed her on the cheek. “I have to go. I’ll see you at Bible Study tomorrow night.”

Pastor Jennings admired Kevin’s graduation picture from medical school long after he’d lef. . .