To Save a Love (Soldiers & Soulmates Book 4)

Book 4: Soldiers & Soulmates

by Alexa Aston

Genres: Regency Romance; historical romance; Regency romance; England; 1800s; Earl; romantic heroines historical; childhood sweethearts; asylum

Synopsis

Both wronged by their fathers . . . two damaged souls longing for love and salvation . . .

Book 4 in the exciting new Soldiers and Soulmates series from bestselling author Alexa Aston has arrived. Read for FREE with Kindle Unlimited!

Childhood sweethearts Desmond Bretton and Anna Browning defy their powerful fathers and elope to Gretna Green when Anna is told she will marry a viscount old enough to be her grandfather. Caught before they cross the Scottish border, Dez is shipped off to the army, where he learns of Anna's suicide. Though a dozen years pass, Dez still loves the girl who always held his heart.

Though everyone is told Anna died, her father places his daughter in a madhouse to punish her for her rebellious behavior. Anna retreats inside herself to a world of her own making in order to cling to her sanity. Dez, her lost love, is a huge part of that perfect world.

When Dez becomes the Earl of Torrington, he discovers Anna is still alive and with her cousin's help, they free her from Gollingham Asylum. Dez knows the girl he loves still lingers within Anna and is determined to liberate her, as well as other women imprisoned at the madhouse.

Can Dez save the sanity of the woman he loves—or will Anna be lost to him forever?

Find the answer in bestselling author Alexa Aston's fourth book of Soldiers and Soulmates, To Save a Love.

Each book in Soldiers and Soulmates is a standalone story that can be enjoyed out of order.

Soldiers and Soulmates
Book #1: To Heal an Earl
Book #2: To Tame a Rogue
Book #3: To Trust a Duke
Book #4: To Save a Love
Book #5: To Win a Widow

Release date: June 18, 2020

Publisher: Dragonblade Publishing, Inc.

Print pages: 252

Sample

CHAPTER 1

London—May 1798

 

Desmond Bretton bounded out of the coach the moment it came to a halt in front of his father’s London townhouse. His legs needing to stretch after the long carriage ride from Eton. School was behind him, at least for a little while. He would take the summer off and then enter university next term. After that, as a second son, he was destined for the army, while his older brother, Ham, would eventually become the Earl of Torrington upon their father’s death.

For now he intended to relax. Spend time with his sister, Dalinda—if she could make room on her calendar for him. His twin was in the midst of her come-out and she’d written to him of the busy swirl of social events. For a moment, his thoughts turned to Anna, who would also be making her come-out with Dalinda. Anna Browning lived on the country estate adjoining theirs.

And Dez had been in love with her ever since they were children.

The three of them had been inseparable from childhood. Riding. Walking. Sharing confidences. His favorite times were when they picnicked at the lake that straddled their fathers’ estates. It was at that lake that he had finally kissed Anna last summer. Dalinda had taken Jessa, Anna’s much younger sister, on a walk, leaving Dez and Anna alone. He couldn’t remember what he’d said. Only the feel of Anna’s lips beneath his. The taste of strawberries on her tongue. The soft curve of her hips.

They had kissed several times after that. In the gardens of Torville Manor. In the drawing room of Shelton Park, hanging back as others left the room for dinner. In an empty stall before riding. Dez had known it was forbidden but he couldn’t resist the irresistible urge that drew him toward the girl he had always loved. When he left for his final year at Eton, they had both known by the time he returned that Anna would be in the midst of her come-out. They spoke briefly about how they knew they had no future and that they would both make the best of what was to come. For Anna, it would be as the wife of some peer. For Dez, he hoped to ascend to the highest ranks of His Majesty’s Army.

Billy, his favorite footman who was close to Dez’s age, came out to greet him.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Bretton,” the servant said cheerily. “Finally done with school, are you?”

“For a bit, Billy. Where is my father?”

“The earl and Viscount Bowling are both at their club, Mr. Bretton,” the footman informed him, sending a ripple of relief through Dez, knowing he could avoid both his father and brother for short while.

He had never gotten along with his father. Not that the Earl of Torrington spent any time with Dez. Or Dalinda, for that matter. Torrington had no use for females and had been put out when his countess died giving birth to the twins. As a second son, Dez wasn’t lavished with attention as Ham, the heir apparent, was. Ham was five years older and had spent his entire life being cruel to Dez and Dalinda. Their brother blamed the twins for the loss of his mother, so he said. Dez simply thought Ham had a vicious streak that ran deeply through him, one Ham had obviously inherited from their father.

“Is Lady Dalinda home?” he asked.

“That she is, Sir. In the drawing with her friend, Miss Browning. They’re having tea.”

“Very good. I will join them. See my trunk brought upstairs, Billy.”

“Shall I unpack it for you, Mr. Bretton?”

“Yes, thank you.”

Dez entered the townhouse and took the stairs two at a time, eager to see Dalinda and yes, even Anna. He knew it would hurt to listen to her talk about her suitors but he loved her enough to know he wanted the best for her. It wasn’t destined in the stars for them to be together. He was gentleman enough to wish that she find a good man who would take care of her and treat her well. One who would give her the children she so desperately wanted.

The moment he entered the drawing room, though, he knew something was terribly wrong. He saw Dalinda’s arms wrapped around a weeping Anna. His sister sensed her twin’s presence and looked up, revealing the tears streaming down her own cheeks. Quickly, he rushed toward them.

“Dez is here,” Dalinda said softly and released Anna.

Without even looking at him, Anna turned and blindly latched on to him, her sobs breaking his heart. He held her trembling body close, aching for the pain she now experienced. If it was some rake who had broken her heart, Dez would call him out. Her pain was his and he would do whatever it took to soothe her.

He didn’t say a word, just stroked her hair and her back and let her cry. His focus was to bring her comfort and she would tell him whatever was wrong in her own time. Eventually, her sobs ended and she gazed up at him, her clear, sky-blue eyes full of anguish.

“Would you like to sit?” he asked quietly.

Anna nodded and he led her to a settee, sitting beside her, his arm going around her shoulders. She reached for his free hand and pulled it into her lap, both her hands clutching it as if it were a lifeline that could keep her from drowning in sorrow.

Dalinda sat in a chair nearby and she nodded to Anna. “Tell him.”

“What good will it do?” Anna asked, her tone laced with bitterness. Then she sighed and Dez heard the resignation in it.

She began to speak, gazing across the room, her voice a monotone.

“Papa called Mama and me into his study an hour ago. I have had several suitors and thought one of them might have spoken to him about asking for my hand in marriage.”

His gut tightened as he prepared himself to hear the man’s name.

“Papa told us that he knew I was one of the more sought after girls this Season and since so many gentlemen seemed interested in me, it was obvious he didn’t need to waste a dowry upon me.”

Dez frowned. Custom, which the ton clung to, always dictated that a woman bring a dowry into the marriage. It was a huge part of the negotiation of the marriage contracts. If Lord Shelton pulled Anna’s dowry, her chances of marriage would evaporate, despite her beauty and charm.

Her hand tightened around his. “He said I had always been a worthless girl and that Mama was incapable of giving him sons and an heir. That I shouldn’t have to cost him anything to be taken off his hands. That he should be compensated instead.” She swallowed. “He told me he had sold me to the highest bidder. Viscount Needham.”

He looked to Dalinda. Anger sparked in her eyes. Without words, they communicated that Dez, not having been a part of the Season, had no idea who this viscount was.

His twin said, “Lord Needham is at least seventy if not older.”

“What? He sold you to a dried up prune of a man?”

Anna nodded, still averting her gaze from his. “Papa said Lord Needham was taken by my strawberry blond hair and trim figure. That he needs an heir and will get one off me as soon as possible.”

“No,” Dez whispered. “No. This cannot be.”

Finally, she faced him and Dez saw the misery filling her face. “Though Mama begged him not to do so, he is determined. He said he will announce our betrothal at tomorrow night’s ball being held in my honor.”

“You cannot allow this, Anna,” Dalinda said, determination filling her face.

“What can I do? We are mere pawns, Dalinda. Our fathers have total control over our lives. We wed whom they tell us to wed. Sometimes, it is a gentleman of our own choosing but you know as well as I do that oftentimes it is not.”

“It’s so blasted unfair,” Dalinda declared. She looked to Dez, who felt helpless.

Then he said, “You can marry me.”

“What?” both women cried.

He swallowed. “I cannot let you be sold into slavery with this man. You can wed me.”

“How?” Anna demanded. “England’s marriage laws say we must be twenty-one to wed. We can be younger if our parents give us their permission and the banns are read for three weeks. There is absolutely no way your father or mine would allow a match between us.” She shook her head forcefully. “No, it is hopeless, Dez. I will be chained to bony Lord Needham. He will be my jailor and I will live in his prison. There is nothing that can be done.”

“Actually, there is,” Dalinda said, looking at him, knowing Dez’s mind as clearly as her own. “Are you serious about wanting to wed Anna?”

“You know I am.” He looked at Anna. “I have loved you for years,” he said tenderly. “I would go to the ends of the earth for you.”

“It won’t require that,” Dalinda said, a grim smile on her face. “Only Scotland.”

“Scotland?” Anna asked. “I don’t understand.”

Dez knew where his twin ventured because he had heard of the practice while at Eton. A friend’s older brother had eloped, much to the dismay of the family, who disowned the couple. If he wed Anna, he would receive no monetary support from his father. The earl would cut Dez off and they would have to somehow earn their own living with no help from others.

“You will need to travel the Great North Road and cross into Scotland,” Dalinda informed her friend. “The first town you come to is called Gretna Green. Scottish marital laws differ from those in England. You can marry there legally without parental consent. I heard about it from some of the girls in the retiring room the other night. You know how I love to eavesdrop.”

“What if you misunderstood, Dalinda?” Anna asked.

“She didn’t,” Dez said. “I know of the practice from school, as well.” He paused and took both Anna’s hands in his. “It would mean giving up everything you know, Anna. Your father—and mine—will denounce the action. They will cut us off. We . . . we would have to make our way in the world somehow.”

For the first time since he had entered the drawing room, he saw hope on her face. She gripped his hands tightly.

“I love you, Desmond Bretton. I always have and always will. Nothing could ever change that. I don’t care if we live in a hovel or a castle. As long as we are together, we can meet any challenge.”

He brought her hands to his lips and pressed a fervent kiss upon them.

“If you are sure, my love.”

Anna’s radiant smiled chased away any doubt Dez felt. “I have never been more certain of anything.” Then she frowned. “But how will we get there?”

“The mail coach,” Dalinda and Dez said at the same time.

“It’s uncomfortable, yes,” he added, “but it’s the cheapest and most efficient way to reach Gretna Green.”

“How long will it take?” Anna asked, her eyes filled with worry.

“Probably four or five days,” he shared.

“What if they come after us? Try to stop us?”

“They’ll have to know where we are headed. No one will,” he assured her, thinking quickly. “I will tell Father tonight that I have been invited to a friend’s country estate just outside of London. He won’t care if I am here or gone. I am no one to him. As for you, do you have an engagement this evening?”

“Yes,” she replied. “A rout.”

“Halfway through, claim a headache and see if you can be taken home.” Dez thought a moment. “Better yet, beg off going in the first place. Say you want to be well-rested for the betrothal announcement at tomorrow night’s ball. That you want to sleep until noon. Leave a note for your maid to discover and take to Lord Shelton. Write that you have had a change of heart and don’t wish to wed Lord Needham. That you have left for Surrey and home and you don’t care about the rest of the Season.”

“So, Papa will look for me in the opposite direction,” Anna said, a slow smile spreading across her beautiful face. “And your father won’t be looking for you at all.”

“Exactly,” he assured her though nerves now caused him to feel jittery, thinking of crossing both of their fathers and having to earn a living when he had no skills at all. “We need to leave on the earliest mail coach departing London and heading north to give ourselves a fair lead.”

“Who will buy the tickets?” Dalinda asked.

A brief knock sounded at the door. Though his arm was no longer around Anna’s shoulders, he couldn’t bring himself to let go of her hand. She already felt abandoned enough. He couldn’t hurt her more.

Thankfully, it was only Billy, who brought a cup and saucer. He crossed the room and then must have recognized something was amiss. “I . . . I brought . . . an extra cup for Mr. Bretton. I . . . thought he needed one for tea.”

“Thank you, Billy,” Dalinda said graciously, holding out her hand and accepting the extra china from the footman. “We also need you to run an errand for us,” she added, her gaze meeting her twin’s.

Dez acknowledged it and said to the footman, “I need you to purchase two tickets for the mail coach leaving London tomorrow morning for Scotland. The earliest possible.”

Wariness, coupled with understanding, grew in the servant’s eyes as he glanced at Dez and Anna’s joined hands.

He tugged his hand from Anna’s and reached into his coat pocket, removing what coin he had and handing it to Billy.

“Will this be enough?” Dez asked, unsure of how much anything cost. He spent his small allowance freely, where Dalinda always put away whatever pin money she received as a squirrel gathered nuts in preparation for dinner.

The footman thumbed through the bills. “It should be.” Still, he looked as if he needed convincing.

Dalinda spoke up. “There will be a crown in it for you if you bring the tickets back promptly.”

Billy’s eyes went wide. “Yes, my lady. Right away.”

“If anyone stops you, Billy, say you are on an errand for me,” Dez emphasized.

“And no word to anyone,” Dalinda prompted.

“Of course not, my lady,” the footman reassured her. “I know how to keep my mouth closed.” He rushed from the room, closing the door behind him.

“You have a crown to give him?” he questioned his twin.

“That—and more. I will give you everything I have. You will need to purchase food on your way there. Pay for lodging. Give the blacksmith something for his trouble.”

“Blacksmith?” Anna asked, perplexed.

“Yes,” his sister said. “I overheard that a couple usually stops at the first place they reach stopping at Gretna Green. Supposedly, it is a blacksmith’s shop. They call elopements to Scotland marrying over the anvil and the blacksmith an anvil priest.”

“You are certain this is legal?” Anna asked nervously.

Both Dez and Dalinda nodded.

Anna’s eyes filled with tears as she gazed up at Dez. “Then I suppose we will be getting married in Gretna Green.”

Despite Dalinda’s presence, Dez bent and pressed his mouth to Anna’s for a long, tender kiss. He finally broke it.

“Pack a small valise,” he suggested. “Only your nightclothes and a change of clothing. Slip out of the house. I will be waiting out front at six tomorrow morning. We will make our way to the mail coach office from there.”

“Are you certain?” Anna asked. “This will change the course of our lives, Dez. No university or army for you.”

His hands framed her face. “Nothing matters except for us being together, Anna. You know it is what we both want.” He kissed her again. “Say you will marry me.”

She smiled through tears of happiness. “I will marry you, Desmond Bretton. A thousand times over. We will most likely be poor in worldly goods but we will always be rich in love.”

He pulled her to her feet and gave her a last hard, swift kiss.

“Go home. Act as natural as possible.”

Anna giggled nervously. “All right.”

Dez captured her hands in his. “It will be fine. I promise. Go.”

She nodded and stepped toward Dalinda. The two locked their arms around one another.

“The next time I see you, you will be Mrs. Desmond Bretton,” Dalinda said.

Anna smiled. “Mrs. Bretton. Anna Bretton. I like the sound of that.” She embraced Dalinda again. “Oh, however can I thank you? You have been as much a sister to me as Jessa.”

Dalinda blinked back tears. “And soon we will be sisters by marriage.” She kissed Anna’s cheek. “I will see you soon.”

“Your father may forbid it,” her friend warned.

Dalinda’s eyes lit with mischief. “When has that ever stopped me from doing anything?”

The two said their goodbyes and Anna left the drawing room. The moment the door closed, Dez opened his arms and enfolded Dalinda.

“Am I crazy to do this?” he asked his twin.

“Crazy—in love. I always thought the two of you were meant to be together,” she replied. “Let me go to my room and collect what I have. Stay here. I won’t be long.”

Dez paced the room as he waited, worried about what he was doing. He had always been impulsive, something his father said was Dez’s greatest character flaw. He knew it was the right thing, saving Anna from the fate of a horrible marriage to an old codger who would force himself on her night after night until he got her with child. If he could get her with child at his age. It didn’t lessen his worry, though, with the great unknown ahead of him and Anna. He wondered how he would support her. Where they might live. If Dalinda would be able to sneak away and see them.

His sister returned and handed over the monies she had.

“This is a great deal,” he said, startled by what she brought.

“I have something else,” she confided and withdrew something from her pocket, taking his hand and placing it in his palm.

Dez looked down and saw a gold band studded with diamonds. He raised his gaze to her, confused.

“What is this?”

“Our mother’s wedding band,” Dalinda confided. “Don’t ask how I came to possess it. But I thought it would be perfect to have Mama there on your wedding day and with you and Anna as you start your marriage.”

He wrapped her in a tight hug. “I love you,” he whispered.

“I love you.”

 

 

CHAPTER 2

 

Anna rose, nerves making her entire body tremble. She moved silently, washing and dressing in traveling clothes, which were easier to don versus her everyday gowns meant for the Season. She wound the lone braid she had slept in around and around, pinning it up as best she could. She had never been very good at doing her own hair. From now on, she would be solely responsible for it.

For everything.

Was she doing the right thing, running away with Dez?

Her heart screamed yes—but her mind still had doubts. Not only was she unsuitable to obtain any kind of job but she would be costing Dez his entire future. No university education. No long, worthwhile career in the army. Who knew what Dez was capable of? Did he know how to swing a hammer? Make a cabinet? Haul goods? She had seen him handle tack and groom his horse. Perhaps he could work in a stable. Or at Tattersall’s. Dez certainly knew a good deal about horseflesh.

But would the Earl of Torrington allow Tattersall’s to hire his rebellious son, where all of Torrington’s friends went at one point or another. Most likely, he’d wish Dez banished from London for disobeying him and wedding Anna.

As for her father, she didn’t want to imagine his reaction when he found her gone. He had always despised the fact that she and Jessa were females. Especially now, when her father counted upon receiving a goodly amount from Lord Needham in a reverse dowry, it would be unthinkable for him to lose the easy money he thought he could make from selling her into marriage with the viscount. That’s why she and Dez needed to escape London as soon as possible, wedding and consummating their union.

Anna smiled. That would be what she lived for. She had always lived for Dez. To see a smile on his handsome face. To make him laugh. To listen to him talk about anything and everything. She had loved Desmond Bretton since before she could even remember. He was a part of her earliest memories. When he had finally kissed her last summer by the lake, it had been as a dream come true. They both knew, however, that their fathers controlled their destinies and had parted with the understanding that they would always care for one another but would need to go off and lead separate lives, wishing the best for one another.

Until yesterday. When Dez offered marriage. And Anna had been too weak to turn him down. She wanted Dez with a passion she could barely conceal. She wanted to kiss him. Hold him. Touch him. Have him touch her. They would be very poor but she hoped they could both find some kind of work. She was excellent at needlepoint. Perhaps she might become a seamstress. Wouldn’t it be ironic if she became a modiste and designed and sewed gowns for daughters of Polite Society who made their come-outs?

Bending, she retrieved the small valise she’d packed and slipped under her bed last night, not wanting her maid or anyone else to see it. She tiptoed across the room and out into the carpeted hall, where her steps were silent. Making her way downstairs, she crossed the foyer. A footman sat by the door, sound asleep. She didn’t want to wake him and have her plans discovered before she could even leave the house.

Instead, she went to the left and entered her father’s study. Pulling the curtain aside, she unlatched the window and pushed it open. She leaned out the window and placed her valise on the ground. Suddenly, Dez was there.

“Front door guarded?” he asked quietly and Anna nodded.

His hands captured her waist and he lifted her over the sill and to the ground before leaning in and pulling the window closed. She hoped it would stay shut. She didn’t feel any wind which might blow it open and alert others that something was amiss.

Dez picked up her valise and one of his own. “Come. I have a hansom cab waiting for us around the corner. Don’t say anything.”

Anna merely nodded, her heart beating so rapidly she thought it might burst through her chest. They approached the cab and the driver nodded. Dez opened the door and placed their luggage inside before lifting her into the cab and then climbing in himself. The horse started up.

Dez threaded his fingers through hers and then gave her a soft kiss. Instead of calming her, it only made her heart race faster.

“The driver is dropping us a few blocks from our destination,” he revealed. “We’ll walk the rest of the way there.”

“Do you have the tickets?” she asked.

He patted his coat pocket. “Right here. Billy came home straightaway and gave them to me. I also have money from Dalinda.”

“I have a little, too. Not much but it’s better than nothing.”

“I love you, Anna,” Dez declared. “I have since I was a boy and I will go on loving you the rest of our lives. Now that I know we are lucky enough to spend the rest of our lives together, I cannot wait to see what our time as husband and wife will bring.”

Dez kissed her again, a long, deep, and very satisfying kiss. It tasted of his promise and what tomorrow would bring.

The vehicle slowed and came to a halt and he opened the door. Jumping out, he retrieved their valises and then Anna and paid the driver. They walked three blocks, having to dodge people hurrying to and fro. Anna found it hard to believe people were up and about at this time of the morning but the streets already seemed busy. They arrived at the mail coach office and she saw several carriages standing in the yard.

“Wait here with our bags,” Dez said, placing them at her feet. “I need to check on which is our coach and what time it leaves.”

“All right,” Anna said meekly, not wanting to be left in the middle of such hustle and bustle.

She’d never been left alone in the city before. She always had her maid accompanying her and, usually, Dalinda was in tow, as well. Or Mama and Papa went in the carriage with her, escorting her to the various ton events. Fear filled her.

“Quit being afraid,” she whispered under her breath.

She was on a public street. No one was going to accost her at a little past six in the morning.

Until a man stopped in front of her.

His coat had seen better days. He could certainly have used a haircut and shave. He grinned at her.

“Who have we here?” he asked, a lascivious look in his eyes.

Stiffening her spine, she replied, “I am a lady, sir, and we have not been introduced.”

“A lady, you say.” His eyes now gleamed and he took her elbow. “Why don’t you come along with me?” he suggested, his tone velvet but instilling fear in her.

“Unhand my wife.”

Both she and the stranger turned to see Dez standing there, fury on his face.

Immediately, the man released her elbow. “No harm done, my lord.” He shuffled off quickly.

Dez stepped to Anna, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Did he hurt you?”

“No,” she said unsteadily. “He frightened me, though. But I didn’t tell him my name.”

“Good girl.” He gave her shoulders a squeeze and released them. Lifting the bags, he said, “Our vehicle is this way,” using his head to point to his right. “Leaving in ten minutes.”

Anna fell into step with him. As they approached, she could already see a good number of people surrounding the coach and whispered, “Where will everyone sit?”

He shrugged. “I suppose a few will ride on top.”

“Don’t leave me, Dez,” she said, gripping his arm.

He smiled. “I won’t, Anna. I will never leave you. Even when we argue and you think me a blockhead and wish me gone from your sight, I will linger. I will be with you as we eat our meals. Tend to our children. Climb into our bed at night. You are stuck with me, Anna. For better or for worse.”

His assurances brought a calm to her. This man was her world. Without him, she was nothing.

“Thank you, Mr. Bretton.”

“You are welcome, Mrs. Bretton,” said Dez as he winked at her.

He had told her in the carriage that they were to act as if they were already married, addressing each other as husband and wife. Dez said it would help smooth things along on the road as they traveled to Scotland. She knew what they now did was scandalous and agreed to treat him as her husband and call him thus. In only a few days’ time, they would be actual husband and wife.

What were a few days of a white lie to strangers?

***

Getting out of the city had taken longer than Dez wanted. It amazed him how much traffic stacked up at such an early hour. Glancing out the window, though, he saw various delivery wagons and knew shops and businesses must be restocking before opening for the day. Once they left London, though, they definitely picked up speed. Anna told him no rain had come for two days, which was a surprise in itself being that it was spring in England. It helped them move faster with the roads dry. A muddy road always slowed a coach and the vehicle could become easily bogged down. A heavy rain would also hamper them, making it almost impossible for a driver to see. He prayed good weather would hold at least for a day or two, putting distance between them and the city.

He had done his part, greeting his father after Torrington arrived from his club, Ham alongside him. His brother barely glanced at him before heading up the stairs to dress for dinner. Dez had accompanied the earl to his study and answered a barrage of questions regarding his final term at Eton and then he had told his father of plans to visit a friend in the country for a week or two. As expected, the older man didn’t even appear to be listening and merely nodded in assent. At least he had laid the groundwork so that Torrington wouldn’t suspect him to be involved in Anna’s escape from London and the very old Viscount Needham.

The mail coach began to slow and Dez figured it was stopping again for a fresh team of horses. They had already stopped once to exchange their exhausted team for a new one. As before, no one was allowed to disembark from the carriage since the hostlers prided themselves on changing out a mail coach team in under three minutes. The coachman had told them as they boarded this morning that the third stop would be long enough to purchase food to eat. They wouldn’t have to do so this first time because Dalinda had packed them sandwiches and apples, knowing they needed to save every pound they could. Dez would retrieve the food from his valise the next time the coach stopped.

He looked down at Anna’s hand nestled in his and couldn’t help but smile. Yes, he knew they had a very rocky road ahead of them. He hadn’t the faintest idea what they would do to earn a living but he couldn’t help but think their love would get them through difficult times. He realized he had lied to himself, thinking he wanted the best for Anna, having her wed another man. No, he was selfish to his core because he wanted Anna Browning all to himself. He couldn’t wait for them to be man and wife, not only in name, but by consummating their marriage. He was wise enough to realize even being married wasn’t enough. He had to breach Anna’s maidenhead and make love to her in order for all legalities to be settled.

The coach had barely started up again when he heard a thunderous noise. Fear trickled through him. Anna must have sensed it because she gripped his hand. He glanced at her.

“It’s all right, love,” he reassured.

She wet her lips nervously, nodding. Trusting him.

Dez looked out the window and saw the carriage come up beside theirs. He grew hot and dizzy when he saw it.

It was his family’s carriage.

How?

Only Dalinda had known of their plans to make for Gretna Green. Well, his twin and Billy, the footman. He couldn’t imagine Billy betraying him—yet the Torrington crest on the carriage that now pulled ahead of them was proof that one of two people had betrayed them. Billy had to be the weak link. Dalinda would have rather been beaten and starved than divulge where he and Anna had gone.

The horses began slowly and Dez met Anna’s gaze. She had bitten her lip so hard that he saw the blood.

“He’s won,” she said dully.

Then she grabbed the lapels of his coat and yanked him toward her for a searing kiss. He tasted her sweetness and the copper of her blood. The kiss went on until the mail coach came to a complete stop. Anna broke the kiss.

“I will always, always love you, Dez. My heart is yours.”

“I love you,” he echoed. “Until the end of time, Anna. And beyond.”

The passengers stirred in the crowded interior, murmuring about why the coach had stopped. The door opened, slamming against the carriage, and Dez saw Ham standing in the opening. His brother spotted him and sneered.

“Get out!” he commanded. “The both of you.”

To her credit, Anna rose, her head held high. Dez didn’t want Ham’s hands touching her and he stepped in front of her, forcing his brother to move aside as he jumped down. Reaching up, he brought Anna to the ground.

Immediately, Ham spun him around and slammed his fist into his face. Dez saw stars as he stumbled back against the carriage. Then Lord Shelton was there, grabbing Anna and dragging her away. Dez watched, his eyes blurring with tears as the viscount forced her inside his carriage and climbed up after her. The coachman took off.

He blinked and saw Ham motioning him. Reluctantly, he followed his brother back to the Torrington carriage, where the door was opened. Both the footman and driver avoided looking at Dez as he mounted the steps and entered the vehicle.

Sitting opposite his father, he clenched his jaw, not wanting to speak. Ham sat next to their father, a smug smile on his face.

Acting more bravely than he felt, Dez turned his gaze upon the earl, who sat stone still, his face brick red in anger. Their gazes locked as the carriage pulled away. Neither spoke. He continued staring steadily at the man he despised, a sick feeling building within him as he worried what would happen to Anna.

After some minutes, his brother said, “You thought you were so clever, telling Father of your visit to a friend. You were foolish to involve a servant in your schemes, Desmond.”

So, it was Billy who had revealed where he and Anna headed.

“Murtie told us everything.” Ham smiled triumphantly.

Murtie?

Vaguely, he remembered a parlor maid that might go by that name.

Ham continued, “She was sweet on that stupid footman. Told him he better tell Father what he knew else he’d lose his job.” His brother chortled. “They both did.”

“Enough, Hamilton,” their father commanded and Ham fell silent.

The trio rode that way all the way into London. The carriage stopped in front of the mews and they got out. The earl ordered Ham to give them privacy. Dez followed his father into the house, where Torrington ventured to his study. He ushered his younger son inside and closed the door before addressing him.

“This is a debacle,” the earl declared. “You have ruined our family’s reputation.”

“How?” Dez pressed, knowing at this point that he had nothing to lose. “The mail coach continued on the Great North Road, its passengers none the wiser since we never used our names. It is not as if anyone from Polite Society was on it.”

Torrington slapped him. It took everything Dez had not to return the slap. He stood stoically, his face stinging.

“Shelton is furious,” his father continued. “He claims you are the instigator of this fiasco, along with your sister, whom he called wild.”

“Dalinda had no part in this,” he protested.

The earl’s withering glance silenced Dez. “You would not have gone to such lengths without telling her what you planned. Don’t worry. She, too, will pay for her role in this debacle.”

Dez winced, sorry he had dragged Dalinda into the scheme. He should have known better. Known that Torrington would find out. That he would pursue him and Anna. Force them to return to London.

The earl glowered at Dez. “As for you, there will be no university. You will go straightaway into the army. I will have the commission purchased by tomorrow morning.”

“Go ahead,” he challenged. “Do it. I swear I will wed Anna when we are of legal age. She won’t care that I am a soldier.”

The earl harrumphed. “Shelton will marry off his chit by the end of the week to some doddering old fool that thinks he can get a child off her when he probably can’t even find his cock.” He paused. “You have shamed this family enough. Accept your fate.”

“This family?” he shouted. “We are not—nor have we ever been—family. You and Ham ignore Dalinda and me. There is no lost love on our part for the pair of you. Dalinda is my only family.”

The earl glowered. “I have already stated that I will handle your sister. As for you, the army will make you grow up. It will make a man of you. Break you down and build you back up. You are too much of a dreamer, Desmond, and always have been—else you never would have thought this foolish scheme to elope to Gretna Green would have worked.”

“I may be a fool for love but at least I know what it is,” he challenged. “I found Mama’s diary, you know. Three years ago. I read every last entry. She loathed you. She was probably glad she died in childbirth just to escape you.”

Torrington slapped him again and then called out. Two burly men rushed in and bound and gagged Dez before he even had a chance to fight back.

“Take him to his bedchamber,” the earl ordered and the pair dragged him from the room and up the stairs.

After flinging him on the floor, they left, heartily laughing. Dez couldn’t move. His hands were restrained behind his back, the circulation already cut off. His ankles were also tied together.

As the day passed and darkness came, he worried about Anna and what was happening to her. He prayed she would think of a way out of wedding Viscount Needham. Next to Dalinda, Dez knew Anna was the strongest, most resilient woman he knew. She would find a way, he told himself. She would wait for him. They would be together someday.

He had to believe that—or go mad.

 

 

CHAPTER 3

 

Anna stared morosely out the window, her stomach grumbling noisily. She had been locked in her room for two days now, given neither food nor water, and feared her father thought to starve her into submission.

The carriage ride back to Shelton Park had seemed an eternity as her mind whirled, wondering what would become of Dez. She had silently watched the English countryside as the miles passed as she felt her father’s intense stare upon her. She refused to acknowledge it or his presence. Finally, as they drove up the lane to Shelton Park, he had asked, “Will you wed Needham?”

“I would rather load my pockets down with stones and walk into the lake,” she’d snapped.

He had made no other comments and the carriage had pulled up in front of the house. Their butler, along with two footmen, met them. Usually, Jessa would have been present but Anna supposed her little sister had been forbidden to come and greet the wayward daughter.

“Take her to her rooms and lock her in,” the viscount commanded.

Anna had gone of her own free will and stepped inside the room she had thought never to enter again. The sound of the lock turning chilled her soul.

Nothing had happened since then. She had seen no one, not even the gardeners from her window. Heard no footsteps in front of her door. Hunger gnawed at her belly. She’d had no access to water to drink or wash. The chamber pot was almost full, the smell growing stronger by the hour. She had covered it with an old shawl and pushed it under her bed.

For the thousandth time, she wondered what had happened to Dez. How he was being punished. She knew a marriage between them would be impossible now. She also vowed never to wed the elderly Lord Needham. She would rather become a spinster than wife to that dried up, shriveled man.

The sound of the lock being turned drew her attention from the window and she held her breath, waiting to see who might appear at the door. Hope filled her heart as her mother entered, leaning heavily on her cane. Mama rarely left her rooms. She had suffered numerous miscarriages and two stillbirths between Anna and Jessa’s births.

“Mama!” she cried and ran toward her, throwing her arms about her.

The door closed and she heard the lock turn again. “Are you supposed to be here?”

Mama smoothed Anna’s hair. “Yes, dear. For only a few minutes, though. How are you?”

Through watery eyes, she replied. “Hungry.”

“I know. I am so sorry. Your father . . .” Her voice trailed off as she shook her head.

“Do you know anything about Dez?” she asked.

“No. Why would I?”

“I just thought you might have heard something. From the servants. They always seem to know everything.”

“No. You must forget about Desmond Bretton,” Mama cautioned.

“I know we can never marry,” she said glumly. “But I love him.”

Mama touched her cheek. “I know, dear girl. I had such high hopes of you marrying a nice young gentlemen.” Her mouth trembled. “Not like me.”

“Oh, Mama,” Anna said, embracing her mother again. “Were you forced to wed Papa?”

“Yes.” She shrugged. “It is the way of females, I suppose. We rarely are in control of our destinies.” Then her eyes welled with tears. “You will be going away, Anna.”

“Where? To wed Lord Needham.”

A knock sounded at the door. “It’s time, my lady.”

“Just two more minutes,” Mama shouted harshly.

The lock turned and the door swung open. Their butler appeared in the doorway, two large footmen behind. “No, my lady. Now.”

Anna looked to her mother, who said, “Go along with them, Anna.”

“Let me get my reticule,” she said weakly. “And if I’m to go to Lord Needham, I should at least change my gown.”

“That won’t be necessary, Anna,” her mother reassured her. “Just go along. Everything will be fine.”

But Anna saw the haunted look in her mother’s eyes. “You’re lying,” she accused. “No. I am not going anywhere until I know—”

“Bring her,” a voice ordered and she saw her father standing in the doorway.

Suddenly, Jessa dashed past him and ran to Anna, throwing her arms about her sister. “Don’t go, Anna,” she pleaded.

She absorbed Jessa’s warmth, drawing a small bit of comfort from it. Then she looked at the murderous look in her father’s eyes and pulled Jessa away.

Kneeling, she clasped her sister’s shoulders. “It’s all right, Jessa. Don’t worry.”

Then Anna rose and walked from the room. The two footmen latched on to her elbows and began dragging her quickly down the hallway. Suddenly, fear seized her, not knowing where she was being taken, and she began struggling. She fought and kicked the entire way down the stairs and across the corridor, where their stern housekeeper looked at her with pity before hurrying away.

The butler opened the door and she saw the carriage waiting. Anna broke free, dragging her nails against the face of one of the footmen. Blood sprouted on his cheek.

“Bind her,” her father said.

A cord appeared and one of the footmen wrapped it tightly about her wrists. She began screaming and saw her father nod. Quickly, a gag was placed over her mouth, silencing her shouts. Her fear now turned to panic as she was taken to the carriage.

Her father said, “This is what happens to disobedient daughters.” With that, he turned his back on her and entered the house again.

The footmen forced her into the carriage and slammed the door. The vehicle immediately began moving. She struggled, pulling on her wrists, which only made the cord tighten. Tears streamed down her face.

Where was she being taken?

The carriage rolled on for what she thought must be several hours until it began slowing. Anna’s heart beat wildly in her chest as it came to a halt. The door opened and she was removed from the vehicle.

“Had a bit o’ trouble with her?” a man asked, cackling.

“Some,” one of her father’s servants admitted.

“Wouldn’t be the first,” the man said, looking her up and down, making her flesh crawl. “Hand her over.”

She was shoved and then caught by the stranger, who latched on to her elbow and marched her inside a house. It had a small foyer and worn carpet. No paintings adorned the walls.

She tried to speak but the gag only made grunts come out. The man laughed again as he led her up the stairs. He sobered as they began walking down a long corridor. Anna heard screams in the distance and shivered.

Pausing before a door, he said, “Behave yourself with Matron,” and then pushed open the door.

A woman dressed in gray looked up from the desk where she worked. She had iron gray hair and a dull complexion. She could have been anywhere from forty to sixty.

“This the new one?” she asked.

“Yes, Matron.”

Anna could tell this man was afraid of the woman before her.

“Get the dress off her. Be quick about it but careful,” the woman warned. “You know I like to sell them.”

She was appalled that a stranger—and a man—would see her without her gown and she began struggling, trying to protest behind the gag.

The woman stepped to her and slapped Anna hard. Stars appeared in her vision. She had never been struck before and was dumbfounded by the pain.

“You’re not to speak. Is that understood?”

Anna blinked back tears and nodded.

“Good. You’re learning.”

The man pulled out a knife and cut the cord restraining her wrists. Immediately, the blood rushed through her, bringing pain. She bit back her gasp, afraid of being struck again, her hands and arms in agony as if hundreds of pins jabbed them.

Without speaking, she stood there as the man stripped her gown from her, handing it over to the woman called Matron. She folded it neatly.

Then he continued removing each of her undergarments. Anna stood there, her face burning in shame as he gave each one to the woman. He removed her shoes and stockings and she now stood bare, trying to cover her private parts as best she could, humiliation seeping through her.

“Leave,” Matron commanded.

The man scurried from the room and Matron removed Anna’s gag. Her raw mouth hurt from being stretched for so many hours. She tried to lick her lips and had no moisture to do so. Tears streamed down her face.

“You learn quickly,” Matron said, approval in her voice. “Most of the rebellious ones don’t.”

She longed to ask what that meant but held her tongue.

“Do you know where you are?”

Anna shook her head.

“Gollingham Asylum. A madhouse for the insane.”

Her jaw fell.

“Careful,” Matron warned.

She closed her mouth.

“You did something,” the older woman said. “Something that angered a man. Your father. Your husband. Your brother. Whoever was in charge of you. The madhouse used to be for those who were mad. Things changed,” Matron said, matter-of-factly. “When a man thinks his female is no longer controllable, that’s when we get them.”

Fear spread through Anna and she began trembling. Matron went and picked up a gray bundle.

“Put this on.”

Quickly, she unfolded the drab fabric and slipped it over her head. It was shapeless, short-sleeved, and hung to just below her knees. At least she didn’t feel quite so vulnerable now with something covering her.

“Do you have any questions?”

Afraid to speak, she shook her head vigorously.

“You may ask.”

“How long will I stay here?” she managed to get out.

Matron shrugged. “As long as you stay. Some women are retrieved after a few years.”

“Years?” she squeaked.

Matron’s gaze pierced Anna. “And some never leave.”

Panic filled her. Something told her she would never find her way from this place. She turned in circles, wide-eyed, not knowing where to run. She rushed to the door and flung it open. The man who had escorted her inside waited. She slammed the door on him and spun around.

“Do as you’re told when you’re told,” Matron advised. “It makes it go easier.”

“What am I to do?” she cried.

“Whatever I say,” An evil smile spread across the woman’s face. “Sit here.” Matron pointed to a chair.

Anna made herself walk toward it and lowered herself into it. Her thoughts swirled, making no sense. She knew she had to escape. The how and when would take time but she knew she would never survive in such a place.

Matron warned, “Don’t move,” and left the room.

It must be a test. She didn’t know if there was a way she could be watched, so Anna at perfectly still.

And waited.

The minutes passed. Then what must have been an hour. Then two. Finally, the door opened and Matron appeared with a slender man wearing fastidious clothes. Matron’s eyebrows raised slightly, seeing Anna in the same position, and she nodded in approval.

The man came forward. “Good afternoon, Miss Browning. I am Dr. Cheshire.”

Her eyes cut to Matron, who nodded permission to speak.

“Good afternoon, Dr. Cheshire. I must say I am not certain why I am here.”

He frowned deeply. “You are here because of your odd behavior, Miss Browning. Your father stated you have been erratic. Unpredictable. Volatile at times. You are here so we can help manage your mercurial moods and inconsistent behavior.”

“I have been none of those things,” she said. “May I speak candidly, Doctor?”

He nodded.

“My father wished me to wed a man more than four times my age. I was opposed to the idea. Bringing me here is his way of punishing me.”

“What of running away?” Cheshire challenged.

Anna took a deep breath. “I was leaving with my fiancé to be married. The man I wished to marry. One I grew up with and have known—and loved—for many years.”

The physician shook his head and turned to Matron. “She is delusional, just as Lord Shelton said.” He glanced back at Anna. “There was no fiancé. No other man you loved. And as for your claim that your father was marrying you off to someone? Ridiculous.”

She shot to her feet. “No. I am telling you the truth, Dr. Cheshire. I don’t know what Father told you, but it was all lies.”

He looked back at his companion. She shrugged.

“Please,” Anna begged. “I do not belong here.”

Cheshire shook his head. “I am afraid, Miss Browning, you are exactly the person who should be contained in an asylum.”

“All because I disagreed with my father? Because I didn’t want to be chained to a man I didn’t know and could never love?”

“See? Even now, your voice rises with hysteria. You are quivering. Your body knows you are lying and is trying to tell you so.”

“I never lie!” she shouted. “Never. But my father does all the time.”

The doctor turned and opened the door. The man from before entered, accompanied by another one.

“You know what to do,” Cheshire said. “Matron.”

He hurried from the room as the two men started toward her.

“Don’t touch me!” Anna cried. “Don’t. I’ll scream.”

They both looked at one another and then burst out in laughter. Before she could try to move, they took hold of her, forcing her into the chair.

Matron approached, scissors in hand.

“What are you doing?” she demanded.

“Cutting your hair. We don’t have time to care for it.” She snickered. “It will soon be covered in lice.”

As the men held her in place, Matron unpinned Anna’s hair. “How very pretty,” she remarked. “This will go for a good price, being such a unique color.”

She cringed as she heard the scissors and felt the pull against her scalp. In but a few minutes, Matron held long shanks of strawberry blond hair, placing them on a table. Mortification filled Anna, seeing the loss of her hair.

“Take her to the baths,” Matron commanded.

The men dragged her from the chair and across the room, down a dark hallway and into a cold room. They tied her to a chair, her wrists to the arms of it and her ankles to the chair’s legs. What followed was a nightmare as they doused her with dozens of buckets of freezing water. Her teeth chattered noisily as gooseflesh covered her body. At one point, she thought she might even drown.

Finally, they stopped slamming the water into her and untied her. As they did, they told her she was to have no opinions. She was to comply with every command. She was never to speak unless given permission to do so. As she trembled with cold and hunger, they marched her down the hallway, which was eerily silent, and opened the door to a room. It was bare except for a small bed with a thin mattress. Bars stretched across the lone window.

As they brought her closer, she saw the bed covered with dark specks that moved. She cringed, digging in her heels. They forced her onto the mattress, still dripping wet, and tied her to it, her hands above her head, her legs spread wide apart.

“Why are you doing this?” she cried. “I am not mad.”

“That’s what they all say,” one of the men said. “Now be quiet. If you make noise, you’ll suffer the consequences.”

They left, closing the door behind them. Her body quaked with cold.

Anna knew she had been left in Hell.