Chapter 1
Ben
I wonder if I’ll ever stop longing to feel like I belong? To find that person who
understands and needs you as much as you need them – my fated mate. I would
probably only mess it up anyway; it’s not as if I had a good example to follow. It’s
safer to remain alone.
I suppose.
*
The snow felt crisp and cool under my heavily padded paws. My animal might not be
a native of snow-capped mountains, but over the years, like me, it had come to
associate the snow with freedom and escape. It embraced this as I ran across the
white snow, flurries still falling as we surged deeper into the whiteout – it was
liberating.
Running without fear or restraint is one of the few joys in life that I’d never
thought I’d be able to experience after I first left home. Feeling safe should never be
underestimated, for it was a pleasure I’d come to realise wasn’t a guarantee in this
world.
We ran as one, man and beast linked, wishing for the same – liberty – and
almost taking flight across wide open spaces as we enjoyed our freedom. Hot breath
billowed out of my mouth as I covered as much distance as possible. There were
only certain times I could risk such an outpouring of energy; the highlands of
Scotland were wonderfully remote. Walkers and skiers sometimes had a bad habit of
exploring the more remote peaks, but I had learned over the years that certain times
of day and poorer weather conditions were better, as there was less risk of
discovery.
My stripes would stand out against the brilliant white of the snow, but my
speed and heightened senses meant that usually I noticed people far earlier than
they would spot me. Then I would veer off, and the extra adrenaline would carry me
even faster away from discovery. It was an exhilarating experience.
Pausing at the summit of a peak, I let out a roar that echoed off the
surrounding mountainsides. I was unconstrained from everyday life and it felt
wonderful.
An hour later, I’d returned to my log cabin by the sides of Loch Einich. There
were only six other cabins, positioned far enough apart to be private. Don’t get me
wrong – I like people, but I also want my space, and in the five years I’ve owned this
cabin, I’ve gained some much-needed inner peace.
Noticing a vehicle I didn’t recognise, it was clear that the number four cabin
was let out. It was the only cabin which was a holiday let, and there was a steady
stream of people throughout the year who came to enjoy the peace and tranquillity of
the area. There wasn’t enough to do to tempt the hen and stag parties that might
cause problems in the area or get too rowdy; instead, it attracted nature lovers and
walkers.
I was about to walk into my own accommodation when I heard a sound which
stopped my progress. My tiger was on full alert, bristling to shift as it sensed danger.
The sound I’d heard was a growl, I was sure of it, and it was coming from the newly
let lodge.
Damping down the urge to shift, I crept towards the other lodge. I could be
almost as silent in human form as I was as a tiger. My senses were working, and I
soon picked up the scent of an animal. Bear. But there was something else, or
someone else, and that person was afraid and begging whoever had shifted into a
dangerous animal to change back. From the sounds of it, the bear wasn’t co-
operating.
Reaching the outside of the cabin, I moved to the door and listened. It
sounded as if the animal was lurching around the space inside, knocking things over
and growling the whole time. The sounds were more of distress than anger, but there
was something else which made me pause: the most attractive scent which had ever
made my nose twitch. It was a mixture of vanilla and jasmine, and it stirred
something deep and hidden inside me.
I tried to concentrate on what was going on rather than enjoying the scent I
could smell, as a woman's voice was pleading with the animal, and she sounded
distressed.
“Please, Nathan, change back. You can’t be seen here. We’re in no danger
now, honestly – please change,” she repeated over and over again.
I waited, unmoving. I could leave them to it, but I didn’t want the bear to turn
on whoever was inside with him, which, from the sounds of it, he could do at any
time. She sounded like a young woman, so I presumed the bear was her husband.
As much as I didn’t want to antagonise a full-grown bear, I couldn’t leave someone at
risk either, even if they didn’t smell as delicious as this person did.
Without warning, the door of the lodge burst open and a medium-sized brown
bear lurched out of the open doorway. Immediately sensing me, he turned and, with
a snarl, launched himself in my direction.
My tiger was roaring inside, but I managed to jump out of danger while
maintaining my human form. I’d realised in time that this was a young bear, and if I
shifted, my tiger would rip him apart with ease. No. I couldn’t change at this point for
his sake. I was in no real danger, not enough to reveal myself in tiger form anyway,
no matter that my beast disagreed with me completely.
“Whoa, there!” I said quietly, hands up in an act of surrender. “Shh, there’s no
need to be angry. No one’s going to hurt you.”
A woman followed the bear out and put her face in her hands at the sight of
me. Now, call me vain if you like, but hiding faces wasn’t the usual reaction I
received when first meeting an attractive woman. I hoped for my ego that it was the
situation causing her distress.
“It’s Nathan, isn’t it? Easy boy, there’s nothing to get yourself upset about
here,” I continued to soothe, while the bear stood on his hind legs, seeming to weigh
me up. He was as tall as me, over six feet in height, but I could see by his build that
he was still a young cub. Probably a boy reaching puberty, which was always a
difficult time for a shifter. “Why don’t you relax and shift into human form, and we can
talk about what upset you to cause your change? I’m not going to hurt you, but I am
freezing to death out here and would appreciate going somewhere warm.”
The bear tilted his head, seeming to consider my words. It was good that he
could obviously understand me. When some first started to change, it was as if they
were completely separate from their human side. It made training and becoming
attuned to the two beings living within a person more difficult. I was grateful that this
one appeared more in sync with his animal.
After a pause, the bear got down onto all fours and the change from beast to
human took place. He crumpled onto the snowy ground when he’d fully reverted, the
motion of shifting exhausting him.
The young woman and I reached his naked form at the same time. She fell to
the ground, her concern overwhelming her, her jeans getting wet in the snow.
“Nathan! Nathan! Wake up!” she urged. As I placed my hand on her shoulder,
she looked up in alarm. Frightened hazel eyes stared back at me. “Thank you for
your help. I can take it from here,” she said.
“Don’t wake him; let him recover his strength. I guess his shifting is all new, so
let him be. Let me carry him inside for you. It’s too cold out here for him to spend any
time in his current state.”
“I can manage –”
“Yes, you probably can, but I can help,” I said, no longer waiting for her
permission, but bending down and scooping the boy into my arms. He couldn’t be
any older than twelve or thirteen. Poor lad, it seemed he was only at the very
beginning of his journey.
Walking into the cabin, I paused for a second. Nathan had trashed it, but it
was also filled with the almost overwhelming scent of the woman. My tiger was
preening himself, ready to claim a mate, even though we’d been in her company for
mere minutes. Getting myself and my tiger under control, I continued over to a sofa,
laid the still-sleeping boy down, and grabbed the throw that was over the back of the
piece of furniture. Covering him up, I turned to the woman, who was still watching me
with suspicion.
“I’m Ben,” I said, holding out my hand. “I own number six across the way.”
“Thank you for your help. Please leave.”
I’m not one unable to take a hint, but there was obviously a problem here. A
shifter like Nathan could hurt a human unintentionally, and that would cause a
problem for the whole shifting community. Also, I could detect fear and uncertainty in
this woman. While normally I would guard my privacy and hers, I couldn’t leave her
to deal with an unpredictable shifter, however young he was, no matter that my tiger
was constantly whispering mate.
“I’d like to stay and give you a hand to clear up.”
“There’s no need.”
“I know there isn’t, but I’d like to anyway.”
“Do you never take no for an answer?” she snapped, running her hand
through her hair. It was a rich dark brown with a natural sheen, falling back into place
when her fingers had released it, which did nothing to subdue the feelings swirling
inside both me and my tiger.
“Regularly, but in this case, I think I can offer practical help, and you look like
you need it. Why be stubborn about it?”
“I’m not being. I wanted to be private.”
“That makes two of us, but there are times when we all need a hand. I think
this is one of those moments. Why don’t we start again? I’m Ben. I only want to help;
I promise I am no threat to either of you. Hello.” I wasn’t usually so alpha male, but
the boy was obviously out of his depth and however much she didn’t like to admit it,
so was she. Ok, that statement was a bit alpha male, but it wasn’t intended to be – I
just knew people. Shifters usually could read a non-shifter as easily as picking a
magazine up and flicking through its pages, the non-verbal body movements being
clear to any beast needing to stay alive in a harsh world.
I could see the internal struggle she was having with herself. She probably
didn’t realise what she was revealing, but I could see the moment she decided to let
me stay, and had to suppress a smile when she sighed. “Hello, I’m Kerry,” she
answered and, albeit reluctantly, shook my hand.
“Looks like you had fun before Nathan went outside. Shall we get started?”
“There really is no need. Thank you for bringing Nathan in, but you really don’t
need to help.”
I wasn’t surprised at her response. It was clear she didn’t want me anywhere
near her or her relation, which would usually suit me, but there was something about
them which tugged at my usual instinct to walk away and made me stay. I started to
pick up some of the cushions which had landed on the floor.
She was acting like a frightened animal, but was human, I was sure of it. I
shouldn’t be curious about her story – I was here for solitude and freedom – but the
police officer in me was hard to shake off. No, that was unfair; it wasn’t just my
training that was stirring my interest, it was her large hazel eyes in a pretty face and
her overwhelming emotion of fear, which stirred my compassion, that, and the fact
that her scent was screaming 'mate' at me in addition to my tiger.
Sighing, she pushed her glasses up her nose. “I should be gracious and just
say thank you, shouldn’t I? We’ve had a long journey and I’m tired. Your help would
be appreciated.”
“Good. Let’s get this place back to how it was and then we can be calm when
Nathan wakes up.”
“No! I mean, it would be best if you weren’t here when he wakes.”
I’d thought a little of the worry had gone from her expression when she
accepted my help, but it was now fully back in place. Smiling, I began to plump up
the cushions and move some books that had been scattered across the room. At
least it didn’t look like there had been much damage, just disruption. “He’s going
through a difficult time; he might have questions, and I can probably give him some
answers and tips which will help him in future.” I was betraying too much, but she
seemed completely out of her depth and I couldn’t remain quiet.
“You’re a shifter,” she said and sank into a chair in defeat, taking her glasses
off and rubbing her hand over her face.
“I am. Is that a problem?” I didn’t know whether to laugh or be offended. She
was with a shifter and yet prejudiced against my kind? That didn’t make sense at all.
“Yes. No. I don’t know.”
Leaving the tidying, I sat down, but kept some distance between us. “I don’t
belong to a pack – I’m a lone animal. I know I’m being a bit bull-headed about
hanging around, but I’m no threat to you.” In fact, the way my tiger and I were both
responding to this woman meant that the only urge she was stirring in me was to
protect her. Not unsurprising when looking at the career I’d chosen. I upheld the law
of the land and protected people. The savage instincts of my tiger were sometimes in
conflict with my profession, but the human side of me was always in control at those
times.
My words had caused a slight smile, but it soon disappeared. A shame, for in
that couple of seconds, she looked younger than she appeared when frowning, her
face pinched with worry. “It would be best for us all if you left and forgot you’d ever
seen us. We’ll be gone in a day or two,” Kerry said, putting her glasses back on and
setting her shoulders.
And that was the best piece of advice I would probably ever be given.
Needless to say, I ignored it.
Chapter 2
Kerry
Only I could be trying to escape and run into another shifter, I cursed inwardly as his
amber eyes watched me intently. Add the fact that he was absolutely stunning to
look at – over six feet tall, broad athletic shoulders and a face which would be quite
at home on some renaissance masterpiece – and it seemed the gods were laughing
at me. Especially because he seemed nice, but then again, many people did on first
meeting, and only when it was too late did they reveal their true selves.
Nathan had been agitated all the way up; it was a miracle his transformation
hadn’t occurred in one of the service stations we’d stopped at on the way to the
Cairngorms. My bladder would probably never recover from being forced to wait to
the last possible moment before we stopped. I’d wanted to leave the least trail we
could in these days of being constantly picked up by the technology around us. We
were probably already on too many CCTV images.
New phone, new car, and accommodation booked on a new laptop in an
internet café – that was all I could do to try and delay being found. I wasn’t sure if
any of it would work, but I was determined that Nathan wouldn’t be harmed because
of what he was. I’d made a promise and I was going to keep it.
Ben just looked at me when I’d finished my speech, those large amber eyes
seeming to take in my every movement. There wasn’t suspicion in his expression; it
seemed to be genuine concern. For some strange reason, I longed to lean into him
and let him take control and ease my fears, which I felt like I’d been living with for so
long that I wasn’t convinced I’d ever be able to relax again. Ignoring my foolishness, I
responded to him far more coolly than the old me would have done.
Instead of taking offence at my snappishness, he just looked at me with
sympathy. “I can offer Nathan some advice which will help him. If there’s only the two
of you and you are not a shifter, you can’t imagine how confusing it is when the
changes start.”
It was a kind gesture he was offering, and I did appreciate it, because I
certainly didn’t know how best to help the boy who now relied on me for everything.
“He’s a little different from normal shifters,” I said. I don’t know what I expected from
my words, but unfortunately for me, the shifter who was sitting opposite me was no
fool, nor was he easily persuaded to leave well alone.
“Then he probably needs my help even more. Come on, let’s get this place
straightened and you can put the kettle on,” Ben said, standing and starting to pick
things up off the floor once more.
“Why are you being so nice? You don’t know us and you’ll never see us after
tomorrow.” I was actually booked in the lodge for two nights, but I decided we
couldn’t remain in this area for that long, not with a helpful neighbour around. It was
too risky. The more people who saw us, the more we risked discovery – a pity then
that in other circumstances I would have liked very much to spend more time with
this man. Trying to stop the sigh from escaping, I realised that the whole situation
was far too complicated for someone who had, until recently, enjoyed your average,
mundane life.
Ben seemed to weigh up what he was going to say next, and even though I
cursed my weakness in still wanting to trust someone, I longed to hear something
reassuring from him. Blasted pathetic specimen that I was.
“I’m trying to help because we all feel out of our depth at some point, and it’s a
bit easier when you can curse at someone else who has already been there and
done it.”
“I’ve done a lot of cursing lately.”
“Trust me, it feels better when you are cursing along with someone else. Now
come on, I’m not doing all the work.” He threw a cushion at me and I caught it with a
reluctant laugh. The sound sounded strange to me – I couldn’t remember the last
time I’d laughed.
I stood, throwing caution to the wind in letting him stay, and followed his lead,
trying to right the destruction Nathan had caused.
After the lodge was back to its pristine self, I put the coffee machine on and
inserted a pod. Handing a steaming cup to Ben, I added another pod to the machine
for myself. I doubted I needed any caffeine to add to my frayed nerves and alert
status, but I needed something to keep my hands occupied, or they would betray my
inner anxiety.
“How long does he normally sleep after a change?” Ben asked.
“It varies depending on where we are, but it can be a couple of hours,” I
admitted.
“Would you like me to come back when he’s awake? I don’t want to crowd you
now that things are back in order. People who come to these lodges usually do so to
escape and enjoy the peace and tranquillity, not to be bombarded by nosey
neighbours,” he said with a smile. “I know I was a little full on at the start, but it was
just to assist with the mess, honestly.”
“Is that why you’ve bought one of the lodges? For an escape?” It was a
strange thing for him to say. I would have thought he would be welcomed wherever
he went.
“Oh yes. I like to be in wide-open spaces as much as possible. It’s a pity I
can’t afford to give up work, or I’d live up here, or somewhere like it.”
His words struck me as strange. He had so far seemed very sociable, which
went against the longing in his voice. “Would you not be lonely?” I couldn’t help
asking. I knew for a fact that Nathan and I would probably be lonely in our future, but
if that was the only way to ensure Nathan's safety and have some semblance of a
life, then it was worth it.
“Perhaps, but I can always seek out company when I need to.”
Why did his words make me bristle? I immediately thought he was referring to
women by the tone of his voice. Jealous of a man I didn’t know? Things were getting
desperate if that was the case. I’d best put all those kinds of feelings firmly to one
side, I cursed inwardly. It was going to be a nun’s life for me from now on. I had to
focus on Nathan; nothing else mattered. For the first time since accepting it, I felt
sadness about my decision, and the change in sentiment was due to the man I’d just
met.
“Surely you have to be sociable for work? What is it you do?”
“I’m taking a career break from my day job and trying to set up a business
with a couple of like-minded friends. If it works out, I might not go back to the daily
commute.”
Nathan stirred and we both looked across at him. His big brown eyes opened
slowly, focusing on the room and then seeking me out. “Kerry?” he asked in
confusion as he saw Ben. Trying to sit up, he rubbed his head.
“Headache, Nathan?” Ben asked, crossing to where Nathan lay and sitting
down on the chair opposite him. He was close, but not close enough to intimidate
him. “I always got a headache after a change when they first began.”
Nathan scrambled to the rear of the sofa he’d been lying on. I could tell he
was afraid of Ben and crossed the room towards him. “Try and keep calm, Nathan,” I
soothed. I cursed my inability to insist that this stranger leave us. Now, Nathan was
in danger of changing again while he was still recovering from the last time. It was
unfair that he be punished for my patheticness in being unable to rebuff an attractive
man. Some protector I was.
“Who are you?” Nathan asked, watching Ben closely.
“I’m just like you,” Ben answered quietly. He was very still and his body
language was relaxed.
“There’s hardly anyone like me,” Nathan answered, and I closed my eyes. He
couldn’t reveal his true self, or we would need to get away quickly, which I really
didn’t want to do, and I also did not wish to examine the reasons why at this point.
“I’m not a bear, that’s true,” Ben said. “How long have you been shifting?”
“Nearly two years, but there wasn’t much shifting for the first few months.”
“You’ll definitely still get the headaches and fuzzy head then, won’t you?”
Nathan nodded, but he’d glanced at me and I could tell by his expression that
he understood I didn’t want him revealing more.
“Nathan could do with a couple of painkillers and a warm drink. Do you have
anything like hot chocolate? It’s more soothing and helps ease the feelings of
sickness,” Ben asked me.
“Yes, I have.” I’d bought most of the groceries at the supermarket when I
made my final shop before we left, trying to prevent the need for us to shop
anywhere else, again trying to reduce our chances of being seen. I busied myself
with making the drink and then walked across to give it to Nathan, also giving him
the painkillers Ben had suggested. “Take these,” I said gently.
“It will get easier, but you need rest after every change in these early days,”
Ben said to Nathan. “Have you got a mentor?”
Nathan shook his head in the negative and Ben looked at me, a question in
his amber eyes.
“He’s the first shifter in the family.” That wasn’t quite true and Ben would know
it wasn’t, but I refused to start trying to explain our background. We’d revealed too
much already.
Ben seemed to assess me, and I grew uncomfortable under his scrutiny. I
tried to keep my expression bland, but I could feel my eyes giving myself away and I
closed them in frustration.
“Every shifter needs a mentor when the changes start. It can be a frightening
time, and lessons need to be taught about how to control the shifts. Do they come on
when you’re upset, or out of sorts?” he asked Nathan.
Bless him, Nathan shrugged, trying not to give anything away. It shouldn’t
have been like this – Nathan should have had everything he needed to make the
transition from boy to shifter, and would have had if life had been normal, but it
wasn’t. I felt so sorry for him that I couldn’t offer him anything useful at this time. He’d
suffered so much already. At least now I knew he needed to rest and that shifting
would get easier for him.
Watching the uncertainty on Nathan’s face, I took a breath. What I was about
to do was a risk, but I was prepared to do it for his sake. We needed some help, and
meeting Ben might just have been providence.
“Could you give us some tips as to what would be useful to Nathan?” I asked.
I smiled at the surprised but hopeful look in Nathan’s expression and knew I’d done
the right thing. He was struggling with everything, but he wasn't asking for help
because he understood the predicament we were in. It was unfair that he was feeling
so lost.
“I could. How long are you around for?” Ben asked.
“We leave tomorrow,” I said firmly, shooting a glance at Nathan. We had
planned to stay two nights, but I couldn’t risk any other information we were trying to
keep hidden being discovered by Ben.
“Let me join you this evening and we can go through a few practicalities,” Ben
said. “I can give you some basic tricks which might help.” He stood and looked at
me. “Wherever you are going, if you’re staying there for a while, I’d look for someone
to mentor him. It’s crucial at the stage he’s at.”
“I have got something arranged already,” I answered honestly. I did have, he
didn’t need to know precisely what.
“That’s good. I’ll leave you be and let Nathan rest further, but I’ll see you about
seven if that’s ok?”
“Yes, that’s good for us. Thank you,” I responded.
“You’re very welcome. I’ll see you later.”
I followed Ben to the door and waited until he’d crossed back to his own lodge
before I closed the door and leaned against it for support. Closing my eyes for a
second, I cursed my choice of stopping place. It had seemed remote enough, but
only my poor luck could land us with another shifter.
“Aunty Kerry?” Nathan asked as I remained prone, leaning against the door.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t stop the change.”
Immediately reacting to the sadness and uncertainty in his voice, I crossed to
my nephew. “I know you couldn’t. From what Ben has said, it seems what’s
happening to you is a perfectly normal part of becoming a full shifter.”
“But I’m not normal, am I?” he asked, uncertainty being replaced with fear.
Taking hold of his hands, I sat down next to him. “I’ve told you that there are
others like you. They’re the ones we’re going to find. They’ve promised to protect
you and offer you a good life. I’m going to do my best to get you there safely.” If it
was the last thing I did, I had to reach those who were like Nathan; it was his only
chance at a normal life.
“Will you stay with me when we reach them?” he asked. He looked so young
sometimes, even younger than his thirteen years, and my heart broke for him.
“I will stay for as long as you need me,” I promised. The conversations I’d had
with those who were prepared to offer him sanctuary had warned me that there
might come a point when I’d lose him completely. I had cried for a full eight hours
when I’d been told that. It wasn’t bad enough to lose my baby sister, but I now had to
face the prospect of losing the only person who linked me directly to her. Every time I
looked at Nathan, I was reminded of Viv – he had the same deep brown eyes and
wide smile she’d had. I now knew that one day I might lose that connection, and it
meant that as often as I could, I would sit and look at Nathan, trying to imprint his
features more deeply onto my memory. I needed it for his memory and hers.
“Thanks, Aunty Kerry. Can I go to sleep now? I’m still tired.”
“Of course you can, sweetheart. I’ll make us something to eat for when you
wake up. Sleep well, little wolf.”
Nathan smiled at my pet name for him before closing his eyes and falling into
a deep sleep. Walking over to the kitchen area of the lodge, I started to pull food out
of the fridge quietly. For a couple of hours, we could try to pretend life was normal
and safe.
I knew it wouldn’t last, but I had to try and relax whilst it did. ...
We hope you are enjoying the book so far. To continue reading...
Copyright © 2026 All Rights Reserved
Please log in to recommend or discuss...
