In this installment of the Never Again, No More series, the men and women begin to unravel the truth about who is real and who is fake in their lives. It’s only a matter of time before secrets and ploys are brought into the light … LaMeka and Gavin fell for each other fast and furiously, but will it fizzle before it has a chance to get off the ground? Although Lucinda is heartbroken over Aldris, she’s also tasted the forbidden fruit, and she wonders if she can now live with the decisions she’s made. Charice is living the dream. She has her life with Ryan and her love with Lincoln, but can she continue to have her cake and eat it too? As Terrence’s life hangs in the balance, Trinity’s happiness is as uncertain as her safety. Everyone’s lives are in an upheaval. The couples are playing serious, and in some cases, even deadly games. Who will survive, and who will come out unscathed when the game is over?
Release date:
December 28, 2021
Publisher:
Urban Books
Print pages:
288
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“Oh, my God!” Panic had set in, and I had no clue what I should do. “Think, Trinity, think!” Terrence lay before me, lifeless. “Please, God,” I cried. “Please, God.” I couldn’t lose my Dreads.
Was God punishing me? But why? For leaving a womanizing, abusive, drug-dealin’ man to make a better life for myself and my kids? To be a wife instead of a baby mama? To have a career instead of a pipe dream? Was I that bad? What did I do to deserve this? Overspend? I wasn’t a bad person. I was a good wife, a great mother, a fair businesswoman, wasn’t I?
Was Terrence that bad? Had his d-boy activity come back to haunt him? He wasn’t a killer, a thief, or a rapist. He made some bad choices, but so did we all. Wasn’t his time spent in prison enough of a consequence? He was stripped of his life once already. Now his existence, too? He wasn’t a bad man. He was faithful to me. A great father to his children and another man’s. He had a big heart. He was the epitome of what a son and brother should be to the women in his life. He was a real black man. The most sought-after and least appreciated commodity a black community, a black woman, could have. And he was mine. Mine! How dare God take him from me? How dare He?
I wiped my tears with my shirt before running my blood-drenched hands through my hair. “God, I’ll do anything. Anything. Just give him back to me. Please.” My pleas flowed out through sobs as I held his head and stroked his cheek. “Don’t you leave me, Dreads. Do you hear me? I said don’t you leave me, goddamn it!”
Suddenly, I felt a cold hand on me. “Ahhh.” My head jerked to see what had touched me.
“Ah yo, Trin,” I heard Pooch say as he coughed, holding his bloody side. “You gotta help me,” he begged as he tried unsuccessfully to move closer to me.
Grabbing Terrence’s gun, I pointed it at him. “You killed my Dreads. I’ma send your fuckin’ rotten-ass soul straight to fuckin’ hell.”
“Nah, mama. Wait. Please. You got it all wrong,” he begged, still clutching his side. “Fuck! This shit hurts. It’s fucking burning.” He winced. “I didn’t shoot at Terrence, mama.”
I pulled back the hammer.
“No! Wait, I promise you . . .” He coughed, and blood flew out of his mouth. “Get . . . get Cal’s phone. He’s the police. They can track that shit,” he struggled to get out. “I promise you I aimed at Cal. I didn’t trust the fat fuck.”
“How do I know that?” I kept the gun aimed steadily at his head, waiting for him to answer my question.
“Trinity! We don’t have fuckin’ time for this bullshit.” His labored words came out hoarsely. “We all need the fuckin’ paramedics.”
As much as I hated to agree with him, he was right. Having a pissing contest with him made me lose precious time for my Dreads, if there was even a glimmer of hope that he’d survive. That was enough to kick me into gear and do as Pooch had requested. I kept the gun trained on Pooch and eased Terrence’s head to the floor, then ran over to Big Cal, who also lay lifeless on the floor. Wasting no time, I grabbed his cell.
“911, what’s your emergency?”
“My name is Trinity Kincaid. I don’t know where I am. I was kidnapped. There was a shootout. I’m calling from Detective Aaron Marsh’s cell phone. He may be dead, and my husband too. Please hurry.”
“Okay, ma’am. I’m linking the number to the police now. Do you have any idea where you may be?”
“An abandoned building? I don’t know.”
“A stor . . . storage,” Pooch sputtered. “2245 Quality Warehouse Storage,” he struggled to get out.
“Umm, Quality Warehouse Storage, number 2245,” I repeated.
“Are you still being held captive?” the operator asked.
“No. Detective Marsh kidnapped me. He’s been shot. So have two other men.”
“Is anyone else moving or breathing? And how many people are there?”
“Including me, four. One man, Vernon Smalls, is alive. He’s been shot in the side, and he’s losing a lot of blood.”
“How about the others, ma’am?”
“I don’t know.” My answer came out shakily as tears flooded my eyes. “There’s so much blood everywhere.”
“It’s okay, ma’am. Just remain calm. My name is Josefina, okay, Trinity?”
“Okay. Josefina.” I found myself repeating her name out of nervous energy.
“That’s right. So one of the men is your husband?”
“Yes.”
“What’s his name?” she asked.
Between sniffles, I said, “Terrence. Terrence Kincaid. I call him Dreads.”
“And what does he call you?” she asked sweetly.
A nervous chuckle escaped thinking back to the first time we met officially. “Li’l mama.”
“Okay, li’l mama. Can you see if he’s got a pulse? Take your index and middle finger, hold them together as if you’re gonna make a peace sign, but do not separate them. Place them against the base of his neck. If you can’t feel it there, try his wrist. Can you do that for me?”
“Yes.” I hurriedly walked over to Terrence and felt his neck and wrist. “I don’t feel one.” At that revelation, I was on the verge of losing it.
“Okay. It’s okay, Trinity. We’re going to pull them through this. Now can you do the same for Detective Marsh?”
“Yes.” I ran back to Big Cal. “I think I feel one for him. It’s really faint.”
“Is Vernon able to give CPR?” she asked.
“No, he’s on his back in pain.” I looked over at Pooch. “Pooch!”
“I’m still up. I just gotta rest,” he said faintly as his eyes fluttered back and forth.
I got up, walked over to him, and slapped the shit outta him. “Rest, my ass. You are all I have. You will not die on me too. Keep your ass awake!”
He let out a gut-wrenching and obviously painful laugh. “Bitch,” he said faintly. “I love . . . love you, Trin,” he said and coughed.
“Are you still there, Trinity?” Josefina asked.
“Yes.”
“Do you know how to give CPR?”
“Yes. I remember. I’m doing CPR now.” I bent down and held Terrence’s nose and blew air into his mouth.
“Keep doing that. The police and paramedics are on their way. I’m going to stay on the line with you until they get there.”
“Okay.” I continued to give my husband CPR. Fuck Big Cal. His fucking ass could die for all I cared. I had to try to save my Dreads.
Suddenly, I heard the door slide open. “Aaron! T! Trinity!” The voice sounded familiar.
“Thomas?” I questioned as he ran back to where we were.
Pooch looked up. “Tot?”
Thomas looked at him and pointed his gun. “You muthafucka!”
“Don’t,” I yelled at Thomas. “The police and paramedics are on the way.”
He put his gun away and looked back at us. “Oh, shit,” he bit out, tears instantly falling. “My fuckin’ truck wouldn’t crank. Oh God, Aaron! T!”
“Give Aaron CPR.” The command was blunt as I continued to blow air in Terrence’s mouth. “Wake up, goddamn it,” I fussed at Terrence. “Come on. Come on, Dreads.”
I really didn’t know how to answer that because I didn’t know whose side Thomas was on: Aaron’s or Terrence’s. “Not now,” was all I managed to say.
“Come on, bro,” Thomas said as he blew air into Aaron’s mouth.
“Bro?” Pooch said faintly. “Damn.”
A few minutes later the police and paramedics swarmed the building. I explained everything that I knew from beginning to end. Surprisingly, Thomas filled in the missing details. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience as Thomas and I got into the back of the ambulance with Terrence. I could see everything happening, but I couldn’t believe it. And I couldn’t stop it or fix it.
Refreshed. Revived. Rejuvenated. Relaxed. Reconnected. Those were all the feelings I was experiencing after my weekend getaway with Lincoln.
Ryan had vowed to spend more quality time with the kids and me before training camp began this year, and before he could do that, I needed to be tightened up by my man. So I explained to Ryan that I just needed a few days away from it all before our family vacation and honeymoon so that I could get rewired.
Add that to the list. Lincoln reclaimed (that one too) his rightful throne as the man! There is good. There is great. There is awesome. And then there is—in the words of Tony the Tiger—“Grrreat!” Lincoln was Tony the muthafuckin’ Tiger. This trip was better than our trip to Paradise Island back when Lincoln and I were officially together and he’d proposed. Yeah, it was like that.
I smiled to myself as I sat on the plane, smoothing out my flowy white sundress and crossing my legs. Placing my shades over my eyes and leaning back, I wished Lincoln could be there next to me, but he’d left on a later flight so that our affair could remain inconspicuous. I wanted to replay the entire weekend in my mind before I landed. As I dozed off, I thought about the romantic time I’d had with Lincoln.
“I wish I could come home to this all the time,” Lincoln whispered in my ear.
“Lincoln! You scared me.” I looked down to see him kissing my belly button. I’d fallen asleep on the bed in my negligee as I waited for him to arrive.
“I’m sorry, ma. Let me make it up to you.” He continued his sensual kisses, and I moaned. “I take that as a yes.”
Rather than speak, I nodded and licked my lips. Lincoln pulled out his massage oils and sensually relaxed every part of my body. He didn’t miss an inch of it. From my neck to my toes, he slowly and gently set my skin ablaze with his hands. Then he intensified that with his mouth. From neck to toe and coming back to the creamy middle, he reminded me that he had the thickest, softest, and wettest tongue in the land. And, my God, did he know how to use it. After I’d climaxed more times than I could remember from his tongue action alone, I undressed him, and we headed to the shower.
“I was going to order some food when you landed. I thought you’d be hungry.” With a shared giggle, we stepped into the shower together.
A guttural moan escaped his lips. “I was. I ate, and I’m full and satisfied now.”
As I turned around and kissed him, our passion grew again. The next thing I knew I was facing forward, pressed against the shower wall, as he stroked me up and down for a back-door entry.
“Now you can call my name out to me,” he moaned.
“As loud as I want?” I breathed heavily.
“As loud as you want. You know I’m the only one who can do this body right,” he said as he interlocked his fingers on top of mine after gliding his way inside of me. I gasped. He stopped. “Don’t tense up,” he whispered.
“It’s just . . .”
He lovingly stroked me. “I know. I’m bigger,” he said, completing my unfinished thought. There was no need to confirm it. We both knew that. “Just trust me like you did before.” He reached down and teased my throbbing bud.
Soon my body relaxed as he slowly ground until he reached my comfort zone. Oooh. It was like being reunited with a long-lost friend. Only Lincoln could make me feel like this. I swore a business administration degree wasn’t the only degree he got from LSU. If I were a sharing female, I would bottle his ass up and put him on the open market. Hell, I’d make enough money to clone his ass ten times over.
“I’ve missed this shit so much,” he huffed.
“Oh Gawd! Lincoln!” Leaning in close, I could feel his breath tickling my earlobe.
“Feels good, doesn’t it? Saying the name that’s always on your mind freely, completely. Say it louder. What’s my name?” he asked me breathlessly.
Shit. He was taking me all the way there. I wanted to shout it from the top of the fucking building that he was making me feel so good. Damn. What have I been missing out on? I swear it didn’t feel this good when we were first together. I don’t see how it could’ve. I would’ve been too foolish over it to let it go. Damn. I was. He let me go. Because of... nope. This was our time. Thoughts of others would fuck it up. Or would they? I smiled to myself mischievously. I allowed myself to think of Ryan, picturing him watching me make love to Lincoln.
“Shit, ma!” Lincoln yelped. “Damn, you just opened the fuck up,” he hissed as I rocked back toward him like a stallion.
“Oooh, Lincolnn!”
“Yeah, that’s it, ma. Say that shit,” he groaned. “Yeah, baby.”
“Lincolnnnnn!” My voice went up to an octave I didn’t realize I could hit.
“Gawddamn, Charice. Oooh, Charice!”
“Say it, baby!”
“Chariiice!” he yelled, exploding as I came with him, calling out his name with his body pressed against mine.
“Oooh, baby.”
My moans were met with a kiss to my neck. “Damn, ma. What got into you? I loved it, but I’m just saying. You broke me down.”
Giggling, I turned my head to the side to view him. “You got into me, baby. All up in me.”
He laughed and then paused, getting serious. “I miss this, Charice. I really do.”
I leaned back against him as he pressed his back against the shower wall. He held me in his arms, and we stood there letting the water fall against us as we basked in our moment. He held me close as I slowly ran my forefinger up and down his arm, nestling my head back against his chest.
“I love you, ma,” he whispered.
“I love you too, pa.” And I did. My heart belonged to Lincoln.
The plane’s wheels hitting the tarmac woke me from my beautiful reminiscent dream. I looked around for my phone and retrieved it from the floor. I powered it on and checked the text messages.
Tiger: Miss u already.
I typed back.
Yours Only: Me 2. I know I’ll have sweet dreams.
Tiger: Your dreams can be your reality.
Yours Only: I know. They are.
Tiger: In a different way, ma.
Yours Only: *sigh* I know that 2, pa.
Tiger: No pressure. I just . . . u know how I feel.
Yours Only: I do b/c I feel the same way.
Tiger: It’s hard 2 believe that at times.
Yours Only: Come on, pa. Don’t. It was a magical time. Can we just savor that?
Yours Only: U know I will. I’ll hit U up when I get there. Kisses, pa.
Tiger: Luv u, ma.
Yours Only: Back at u.
Lincoln was anxious to have me back, but it wasn’t feasible at this time. I loved him. I did. But I had responsibilities to think about. As long as he had my heart, he had me. Hell, I didn’t even feel for Ryan like I used to. Lincoln knew the truth. He knew I was keeping up pretenses. In my heart, Lincoln was number one. However, in my household, Ryan was.
Just as I put the phone away, I heard the faint buzz of my other phone alerting me of a new message. Damn! I’d just powered it on.
Hubby: Have you landed?
Wifey: Just landed.
Hubby: The boys and I missed u so much.
Wifey: Aww, I miss my fav guys 2. Lexi 2.
Hubby: Had fun on ur me, myself, and I vacation?
Wifey: Plenty. The best.
Hubby: Good. You’ll have 2 do it more often then.
Wifey: Sounds like a plan. The best plan you’ve ever come up with.
Hubby: Anything for my wifey.
Wifey: Thanks, babe.
Hubby: YW, babe. I’ll see u in a bit. Love u.
Wifey: All right. Back at u.
“Good Lord, sweetie. You must be really important to have two cell phones,” the old lady sitting next to me said.
“Very important.”
“How do you make time for your family? Or are you one of those independent women who don’t have time for all that jive?” she joked.
Even though she was nosy and being all up in my business, she was amusing, so I figured I’d entertain her questions. “No, ma’am. I’m every woman. Believe that.”
“I like that.” She pointed her forefinger at me, and then she turned completely toward me. “Pardon my prying, but how do you manage?” she asked. “In my day, my husband was the provider. I stayed at home. Now that he’s gone, I’m traveling the world to keep busy. My daughter just recently got married, and when they have a child, I want to have done all I wanted. But it may be a while. I ask because she’s a career woman like you, which is so unlike me. Maybe I can give her some of your advice.”
Despite her choice to be a stay-at-home mom, she seemed happy. However, it was a shame that she was just now getting to do all the things she wanted. My advice for her daughter wouldn’t be much different than what she could’ve provided to her, but I didn’t mind schooling the old or the young. I had been there, done that, and I had the kids and the ring to prove it.
Thinking over my life with Ryan and Lincoln, only one thought came to mind. “Tell her never to sacrifice what she truly loves for anybody else. That’s the best advice. As for managing, I’d say I manage very carefully.”
She was quiet for a moment as if she was truly soaking in what I was saying. “Thanks, sweetie. I’ll tell her. Follow your dreams first. Then keep your business and home life separated but make time for both. Am I right?”
“Exactly, ma’am. Exactly,” I said as we stood to exit the plane.
The pent-up frustration I had been feeling was still lingering. Ugh! Why did men have to be so fucking complicated? And I thought women were supposed to be the damn trip. I was so sick of giving more of myself than a man was willing to give to me. Sick and fucking tired. I was one of the realest women in the world. I held my man down willingly. No lie. Hadn’t I proved that? I’d been verbally, mentally, and physically abused just trying to hold my family together with Tony, and now here came trouble rearing its ugly head with Gavin. He came into my life with his slick-ass talk and swaggeristic walk, and in one good dick down, I was back on the okey-doke again.
I tried to be careful this time. I remained his friend first, got to know him, and even went so far as to get tested before we had sex. Hell, these days, that needed to be a part of the requirements even for a one-night stand just to make sure a man or woman wasn’t being shady and knew their status.
At any rate, I did what I should have done. Even if I hadn’t given him the cookie, I’d have been pissed. I’d cursed out one of my best friends and anybody else who gave us their evil complaints because we were an interracial couple. The hilarious part about it was that black men—yes, black men—were the most offended by our relationship. Ain’t that a bitch? Like for real? Are you shitting me? The same men who glorify women of other cultures had the audacity to judge me? There was one dude in the grocery store looking at me in disbelief as he saw Gavin walking with his arm around my shoulders. No sooner than we made it to the sugar aisle, there came “Becky” walking up to his cart. Hypocrite. I mean, judging me because I was with the white boy, and he didn’t have no brown to go with his sugar his damn self. I wanted to kick the Little Debbies outta his fat ass. Matter of fact, no, I didn’t. Becky could have his fat, ugly ass. Our race didn’t need no offspring looking like him.
My bad. That was wrong, but I was pissed. Not so much about the hypocrite in the grocery store, but because I would’ve gladly cussed out him and anybody else from A to fucking Z over Gavin. Gladly. Now Gavin wanted to act a fool on me? Wrong, sista girl. I didn’t have to put up with that shit from nobody. Zilch. Nada. It was going through shit like this that made women bitter, remain single, or become lesbians. I was convinced that at least one-third of the lesbian community was made up of women who just got tired of these fucked-up-ass men in the world. I could be wrong, but I couldn’t help but feel that way knowing the shit that I’d been through, not to mention my mom, my sister, and my girls. If I didn’t love the real “Peter” as much as I did, and it didn’t go against my religious beliefs, then hell, I might’ve considered it myself. I hadn’t seen one converted lesbian who had flown back straight yet, so they must know something we don’t. But fuck that. I’d rather be single and buy a lifetime supply of AA batteries. That eliminated drama from either sex.
Nobody I knew—including myself—had had an argument or complaint with the Energizer Bunny. As a matter of fact, that would be a great idea. Somebody call Walmart and tell them I am on the way. Get the stock truck ready, because they are gonna have to restock their entire battery center station when I leave there.
“Meka,” my sister shouted as she touched my arm, scaring me half to death.
“Oh, shit!” I grabbed the rails of my treadmill before I busted my ass, then yanked out my earphones once I regained my balance. “What? I could’ve busted my ass.” My attitude was on go.
“Well, if you kept them damn blaring-ass earphones outta your ear, you could’ve heard me,” she said, throwing her hands on her hips.
Slowing my treadmill down to a creep, I took my towel and wiped my forehead and neck. “I told you I was exercising. You know how I do when I’m getting my workout on.”
She peered at the numbers. “Damn, sis. You ran two miles in thirty minutes. Get it, girl.”
Ignoring her compliment, I drank a swig of my bottled water. “Misha, what’s up?” I wasn’t in the mood for all that playful shit today.
She shrugged and pointed behind me. “You’ve got company.”
I stopped my treadmill completely and turned around. Gavin.
His tall frame lingered in the doorway as he gazed at me with sorrowful eyes and a sheepish expression. “I didn’t want to disturb you. You were getting it in.”
“Well, then don’t disturb me, because I still am.” I turned away from him. “You can leave.”
“Baby, let’s talk, please.”
Defiantly, I turned to Misha. “See Mr. Randall back to the door, please.”
“Who the hell I look like, Geoffrey from Fresh Prince? I ain’t the fucking hired help around this place.” She threw her hands up. “Look, I have to get to the community center. I have a group session. You gotta deal with this one. Keep your head up, Gav,” she said as she walked out, leaving me alone with Gavin.
“Be easy, Misha,” he said.
Getting off my treadmill, I walked out of the room to make sure my front door was locked and hoping that Gavin would trail behind me, and he did. “You can follow her out as well,” I threw out over my shoulder.
“Meka, come on,” he pleaded. “What difference does it make how many women I’ve dated at the hospital? Would you have not dated me if you knew?”
“You lied to me!” I spun on him so fast he jumped back as if I’d startled him. “A couple is not nine. A couple is two. What the fuck am I, lucky number ten?”
Okay, so obviously I couldn’t let what Sara and Jeanine told me that day go. That day was like being awakened from a beautiful daydream only to realize you were living a nightmare. How did he figure those gossiping hoes wouldn’t spill all his tea about the women he’s dated at the hospital and whatever the fuck was going on with his family?
He’d dated nine different broads outside of me at the hospital, and three of those heifers still worked there. He made me look like Boo Boo the fucking Fool in front of my classmates and my coworkers. Here I was prancing around like I was the only one who had unlimited access to the forbidden fruit, and he was passing his shit out on the Sunday morning collection plate. Like Tupac said, I knew men got around, but damn. And then he expected people to take our relationship seriously? No wonder people were looking at me like I was lovesick and stupid. Maybe I was. Hell, at this point, how could I believe I wasn’t?
Every woman, every single solitary woman, was exactly the same: milk chocolate complexion, big, beautiful brown eyes, little titties, small waist, and ba-donk-a-donk butts. The only variations besides our job titles were that some women had short hair, medium-length hair, or long hair. At any rate, I never expected to find out that Gavin was getting around like that, and the very least he could’ve done was prepare me for it. My family was involved, and I had a psycho-ass baby daddy creating mayhem in my life over his ass. This wasn’t no fucking game to me. He knew that.
He exhaled, sliding his hands down his face. “I didn’t lie. I wasn’t specific. Those are two totally different things. I told you I’ve dated women at the hospital before, and I was clear that it was more than one.”
I folded my arms and laughed. “Yeah, more than one and fewer than. . .
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