Wednesday, Sept 4
My heart sinks as I sense Kayli’s confidence drop. This shouldn’t be a big deal, right? I playfully grab her shoulders and smile. “It’ll be okay, sweetie.” Pulling her closer, I lean my forehead onto hers. She tries not to giggle as she looks away. Our eyes finally connect, and she smirks. There’s my girl. “I’m serious. Everyone’s still finding their way. It’s only the second day.”
“But should I have said no? The other girl got so upset.” Her eyes lower to the floor.
I shake my head and then tip it downward to make eye contact with her again. This is silly. Kayli didn’t do anything wrong. She simply agreed to take her turn at a role in the game they were all playing. Master of Wardrobe, she called it. I straighten my posture as I step back to adjust her fallen backpack strap, racking my brain for something to make her feel better. “Just keep being your friendly and kind self, and I’m sure things will fall into place.”
Her eye roll indicates she’s unconvinced, but there isn’t much else I can do. The approaching roar of the bus indicates our time is up. Out the front window, its yellow roof peeks over the hill leading down to our cul-de-sac. Thank goodness Cathryn’s already out there. No pep talks necessary for her this morning. Second grade is so much simpler than fifth.
“You better get going.” I hug Kayli once more before she heads out the door and down the driveway. Still propping the door open, I wave to both of them. “Love you!” Once the bus takes off, I grab my sunglasses and keys, jump in my car, and am on my way.
That went okay, didn’t it? My thumbs drum the steering wheel while I look both ways, waiting for a car to pass. She’ll be fine. Deep breath. My walk with Meg and Naomi will help. I’ve been waiting all summer to get back to my Wednesday-morning routine with my two best mom friends. Thank goodness it’s only a five-minute drive.
Now that Kayli’s in fifth grade and the notorious tween years, Meg and Naomi’s advice and support are going to be more important than ever. The shivers running up my spine while I wait at the second stop sign tell me I’m not even close to being prepared. But that’s why I love these ladies. They’re always so much more up-to-date on the latest parenting tips and way more in the know with what’s going on at school.
I lean over my steering wheel after turning the corner, squinting to spot their cars as the towering trees framing the trail entrance come into view. When I see both of them already out in the shade chatting, I can’t reach the parking lot fast enough. I pull in next to Meg’s SUV and hop out. “Hey, guys! It feels like I haven’t seen you in forever.”
Bouncing ever so slightly in her bright yellow tennis shoes, Meg claps her hands and squeals, “I know! And it’s only been a few weeks.”
“Good to see you, Dawn.” Naomi tilts her head and smiles. Her voice instantly soothes, and the warmth from her eyes signals I can breathe easier.
The three of us started meeting in this quiet neighborhood nearly seven years ago. Once a week during the school year, we’d drop our oldest kids off at preschool and reconvene in this tiny parking lot. After buckling the younger ones in strollers and hopping on the paved trail that used to be an old railroad track, we’d do the same three-mile-out-and-back trek every time.
“So, how were the rest of your summers?” I ask as we fall into our silently-agreed-upon walking pace. “Did you enjoy your last-minute weekend trip to Maine?”
I glance over at Meg, who is, of course, looking her usual easy-breezy, impeccable self. Bright-eyed and sun-kissed, she’s wearing just enough makeup to be noticed. Her dark, wavy hair is pulled off to the side in a thick braid. And with her light gray leggings and slim-fitting turquoise three-quarter zip, she looks like she’s straight out of a fitness catalog.
She grins, clutching her cupped hands to her chin. “Absolutely. We found this incredible house right on the ocean. The kids each had their own rooms, and the place came totally decked out. There was also this fabulous amusement park right down the road, and we had tons of awesome shops and restaurants within walking distance. Everyone had a blast. If you guys ever have the chance, you should absolutely go. I can get you all the details from our travel agent.”
“Sounds amazing.” I try to forget about how our family vacation game pales in comparison. Although Ben and I can’t splurge like Meg’s family, I make a mental note that we need to start taking Kayli and Cathryn on more trips, and soon.
“What about you, Nay? How were your last few weeks of summer?” Turning my gaze to Naomi, I notice how pretty her no-makeup face looks. In her muted army-green yoga pants and oversized floral sweatshirt, she’s basically glowing. All that meditation and her organic diet are really paying off. Her skin alone makes me reconsider giving them another try.
“Complete bliss.” Naomi tips her head back and closes her eyes. “We had such a simple schedule in August. I loved it. The kids played outside, helped me in the garden, and worked on art projects. And Lily wrote all these cute little plays for her and Leo to perform. I already miss it. I get so sad when school starts because we simply don’t get that same kind of time together.”
“Aw, I love that,” I sigh and then quickly adjust my stride as a chipmunk races across the path. “What about teachers? Did your kids get who you hoped?”
“We got so lucky!” Meg adds a little more pep to her step. “I almost can’t believe it. James got Mr. Slater for fifth, who I’ve heard such fabulous things about. He does all these cutting-edge engineering projects. They even learn to use a 3-D printer.”
“Whoa…do all fifth-graders get to do that?” I ask.
“Sorry.” Meg shakes her head. “Mr. Slater only does it because he had some special training a few years ago. He also teaches the kids how to code, which I know James will love.”
“Sounds like a perfect fit. What about Brooklyn? Who did she get?” I ask.
“Brooklyn got Ms. Beal. That’s who James had too when he was in third grade, and we adored her. James totally struggled with math before that year, but Ms. Beal turned it all around.”
“Aren’t you the lucky lady?” I tease. “Two for two. What about you, Nay?”
“Lily has Mr. Slater too, so that’ll be interesting.” Naomi’s voice trails off. “I’m somewhat nervous about it, actually. She’s never had a male teacher before.”
“What? No…it’ll be so fun!” Meg quickens her pace so she can turn to see Naomi better. “Maybe we could be room parents together. The volunteer interest form hasn’t been shared yet, but I already emailed Mr. Slater to tell him I’d do it. I’ve been room parent for so many years, I’m sure he’ll give the okay, and I know he’d love us as a pair.”
“I don’t know,” Naomi sighs. “I may already have too much on my plate. I’m teaching yoga three times a week, and I’m volunteering in Leo’s class on Friday mornings. As much as I’d love getting to know the kids in Lily’s class better, I just don’t think I can.”
“No worries. I get it.” Meg appears only a tiny bit deflated as she moves back to her spot on the other side of me. “You’re always so good at managing your commitments. You know me, I tend to get wrapped up in my own excitement.”
“We know.” Naomi smiles as she gives me a little nudge. “That’s one of the things we love about you.”
I grin, giving Meg a friendly pat on her shoulder. Meg’s enthusiasm for nearly everything is unmatched, especially when it comes to scoring a coveted volunteer role at the kids’ school.
“You’ll have to keep an eye on Lily for me, though,” Naomi continues. “I doubt she’ll be too thrilled spending her time learning to use a 3-D printer or code.”
“Really?” I turn toward her. “Lily’s so creative. I don’t know, you might be surprised.”
“You know what I’d really love?” Naomi folds her hands together and holds them against her chin. “Is if their school implemented some mindfulness activities. Kids are way too stressed these days. It’d be so great if they were taught some coping strategies. Lily and Leo know a lot of this already, but teaching it in the classrooms could—”
“Oh my gosh, I’d love that.” I add a spring to my step. “Kayli and Cathryn could both benefit. I mean, I have no clue how to get them started since I can barely do it myself. Having it taught in their classes would be way better. Kayli has Mrs. Putnam this year, and Cathryn has Mr. Kane. I don’t know either of them at all yet, but—”
“Oh no.” Meg turns to me as her tone darkens. “Kayli has Mrs. Putnam?”
“What do you mean, ‘Oh no’?” I reach for Meg’s arm and pull her to a stop. All of a sudden, I can’t keep up. “Is Mrs. Putnam not good? Ugh.” I clasp my hands behind the back of my neck to support the increasing weight of my head. “What have you heard?”
“Unfortunately, on Sunday, the moms in my Pilates class mentioned Mrs. Putnam got quite the group of girls this year.”
“I’ve heard that too.” Naomi cringes, turning back to come meet us.
“You’re kidding.” My arms drop as I look back and forth at the two of them.
Naomi rests her hand on my arm and sighs, “Sorry, but you better prepare for a little girl drama this year.”
My feet feel like bricks as I try to keep walking. Girl drama. The one thing I was so hoping to avoid. I wince, thinking back to when I was Kayli’s age and the drama that engulfed me. That was the year of Mr. Crandall’s Crymakers, a notorious group of girls in the classroom next door. Nearly every day, they made someone run crying to the bathroom.
Fifth grade was also the year notes with checkboxes started flying around, girls played tricks on those who fell asleep first at sleepovers, and kids were deemed likable or not based on their clothes, the sports they played, or how smart they were. It was the year I started questioning everything about myself and doubting every answer I’d come up with.
I massage my forehead, hoping it’ll wipe some of these memories away. I simply can’t fathom reliving them with Kayli. She has enough trouble making friends. No matter how much I try to encourage her out of her shell, her quiet demeanor and habitual shyness have been perpetual hurdles. This year, I was praying she’d find a good group of friends before middle school starts. That’ll never happen with some mean girl in there, making everyone’s life miserable. I lift my chin and straighten my posture. “Oh man, really? Like who? Who do I need to be aware of?”
“Honestly, that wasn’t shared.” Naomi bites on her lip as she shakes her head. “I have a couple of guesses, but I don’t know for certain. I promise I’ll let you know when I can confirm. All I’ve heard is there’s at least a girl or two in that class who caused quite a bit of emotional upheaval last year.”
The leaves rustle around us as I think back to Kayli this morning. Was it one of the girls from yesterday? What were their names again? Dang it. Of course I can’t remember.
Finally, Meg breaks the silence. “I know this isn’t your thing, but I bet you can still make a request to change teachers. It’s only the second day.”
I gulp down the giant ball residing in my throat. “I don’t know,” I sigh, looking over to Naomi, who nods, reinforcing the idea that it’s something to consider. Goose bumps pepper my arms simply thinking about it. I’m sure they’re trying to be helpful, but I’ve never made a teacher request in my life. And I can’t wrap my head around starting now without a more compelling reason. “Maybe the girls have matured over the summer?” I try. “And…and things will be better this year?”
“Yeah, maybe.” Meg lingers on each word. “I know I’d call, though.”
Great. Now, the acid in my stomach really kicks in. What if it truly is that bad? I picture one of the Crymakers’ victims running to the bathroom, sobbing. Will that be Kayli? Ugh. She’s such a nice kid—probably too nice—and way too naïve. For the love, why did I raise such an easy target? I roll my shoulders and take a deep breath. I need to stop. I’m getting all worked up and nothing’s even happened yet. Things could be just fine. “Okay. Yeah. I’ll think about it.” I turn back to Naomi. “By the way, who’d Leo get?”
“Oh, Leo.” Naomi centers her hands over her heart. “The good thing is he got Mrs. Dixon—I heard she’s one of the more nurturing first-grade teachers. But it’s still so hard for him to leave me. Even though we made a lot of progress last year, these past two mornings have been tougher than I would have thought. Hopefully, as he gets to know Mrs. Dixon better and I start volunteering in his class, it’ll get easier.”
We finally reach my favorite part of the walk, the place where we cross an old wooden bridge spanning across two different bays of the lake. The views of the water are unending, and every time I cross this spot, my whole body relaxes and lightens. The blue water meets the blue sky, only separated by a tiny line of green trees and a smattering of boats and gorgeous homes.
“I’m sure Leo will do much better as the school year goes on.” I gaze out at the glistening lake. “Kayli had a rough time with kindergarten too. Not quite as much as Leo, but then every year, it seems to get better.”
“I hope so. He’s my biggest worry now.” Naomi leans forward so she can see both of us. “That, and the school lunches.”
“You’re kidding, right?” Meg groans, throwing her head back. “They haven’t fixed the lunches yet?”
Naomi shakes her head. “But Jane Brooks has a meeting with Principal Jacobson on Friday, and I really think she’ll get some key changes made this year. For sure, the chocolate milk will be out. It has way too much sugar, and there needs to be more gluten-free options…”
As Naomi continues, my mind wanders back to Kayli’s class of potential queen bees. What in the world will I do if a little meanie actually starts something? I was horrible at navigating the antics of fifth-graders when I was her age. There were days I’d sit down at lunch, and everyone else would get up to leave. I’d also constantly wind up with a seat to myself on a packed bus with kids snickering all around me. And one day, I thought they had let me join one of their games of hide-and-seek at recess, but no one ever came to find me. My gut wrenches, imagining Kayli being put through the same torture.
“So, are you guys ready for Curriculum Night?” Meg asks as we hit our turnaround mark, jolting me back to reality. I seriously hate Curriculum Night. My blood pressure increases just thinking about the chaos of navigating crowds of parents to meet the kids’ teachers, learn about coursework, get a heads-up on projects, and sign up for volunteer slots. I always come home completely drained, with a stack of forms and a gigantic headache.
“I really need you to remember to sign up for the book fair afterward,” Meg continues. “I’m in charge again, and I definitely want to break last year’s record. It was the sales total from last year that allowed us to have that writers’ workshop. Remember? The kids got to meet that author and have their books signed? James and Brooklyn both still have their books. Anyway, I want the fair to be bigger and better than ever this year. The theme’s Enchanted Reading Forest, so the decorations will be spectacular. Lush Living Gardens has already promised to donate a bunch of flowers, plants, and miniature trees.”
“Of course,” Naomi says with genuine sincerity. “Consider me signed up.”
“Me too.” I try my best to hide my reluctance. “I can help with setup again.”
“And, Dawn,” Meg keeps going, “you’re attending the Parents of Athletes Night tomorrow, right? Since Kayli’s trying tennis this season? This year, they’re having the parents sign a sportsmanship pledge there, so they’ll definitely know who skipped. And, it’s the last night you can purchase any spirit wear for this fall. I’m going if you want to catch a ride. Even though Kevin’s traveling, my mom said she can watch the kids.”
“That’d be great, thanks.” I mean it, too. I hate going to those types of things by myself, and Ben would much rather stay home with the girls. And I have to remember the spirit wear. Kayli’s been bugging me about this lined windbreaker she wants for over two weeks.
“They need more than a parent sportsmanship pledge, don’t they?” Naomi’s voice is steady as she glances over at Meg, but the tightness in her neck hints something’s simmering inside. “The stories I hear from other parents are crazy. Practices several times a week—often late at night—and weekends filled with tournaments. And if you have multiple kids, it’s almost impossible. When are families supposed to spend time together?”
I find myself nodding my head. Tennis seems okay so far, but the time commitment for basketball last year was a huge wake-up call. “I hear you. Last winter, there were more than a few weekends Ben and I had to tag-team. Cathryn didn’t want to spend entire weekends watching her sister’s games, so we opted to divide and conquer.”
“See?” Naomi’s neck relaxes as she looks over sympathetically. “I hear so many stories like that. It’s no wonder parents get so competitive at these games. They’re stressed out from the time and energy they’re pouring into their kids. I’m so grateful Lily’s more into theater.”
“Well, James loves his sports,” Meg retorts, barely jumping out of the way in time as a biker races past. Brushing herself off as she gets back on track, she huffs, “In fact, he’s usually asking why he doesn’t have a tournament on the weekends when nothing’s scheduled. Most of the time, I’m fine with them, too. He has so much energy, so it’s a good way for him to stay active. Plus, he sees his friends and learns how to be a team player.”
Naomi’s tone softens even more, saying, “No, I get that, but—”
“And Brooklyn’s basically the same for dance,” Meg cuts her off. “We’re at three nights a week now, plus most Saturdays, and she’s in heaven. Never complains. Never.”
I brace myself, focusing on the trail up ahead as I try to calculate how much time we have left on our walk. Please be done soon, please be done soon.
The tree leaves crackle overhead. Finally, Meg exhales and drops her shoulders. “Okay, I admit, sometimes it gets to be a lot, and I do get rattled by all the driving. And with Kevin traveling so much, it’s almost impossible to get these kids every place they need to be. Thank God my mom lives close. I wouldn’t be able to do it without her.”
Naomi nods ever so slightly as Meg’s tone is now the one to soften.
“Question for you, though,” Meg says. “Doesn’t Lily spend nearly as much time with her play practices? I guess it’s always local, but it has to be almost as time-consuming and go just as late sometimes.”
Naomi looks up into the treetops, drawing a deep breath in before she replies, “No, you’re right. I’ve certainly witnessed more than a few stage parents who are equally intense.” She brings her eyes back down to Meg. “Maybe there isn’t a perfect option. I mean, I adore that Leo loves hanging out with me, but I also want him to find a passion for something. Something that allows him to be around other kids his age more. He’s only in first grade, so he has plenty of time, but it’s something I think about.”
My body starts to unclench as their back-and-forth appears to come to a peaceful resolution. “Isn’t it crazy how much consideration we put into this?” The only thing my mom ever wondered about was whether or not we could get to the activity on our own. “I can’t imagine these thoughts ever crossing my parents’ minds.”
“It’s so different now.” Meg adjusts the bottom of her three-quarter zip, regaining her composure. “How are you guys doing with balancing everything?”
“Still working on it.” I try to keep my head up. With the girls back in school, I should have things more under control. And my job’s not an excuse by any means. It’s only twenty hours a week. “I’m hoping things will be more manageable by next week.”
“And you’re still working from home?” Naomi asks. I’m sure she’s not purposely trying to rub it in.
“Yep.” Keeping my eyes straight ahead, I try to rationalize why someone in my position would feel so behind. “For now, I’m focusing on one week at a time.” I tick off my to-do list on my fingers. “Parents of Athletes Night, Curriculum Night, two tennis pickups, and Cathryn’s first swimming lesson.” I put down my hand. That doesn’t sound like very much. “And I need to start chipping away at the things I let slide over the summer. Our house is a complete wreck right now. I started a list of things to clean or organize, and it’s about a mile long.”
“I hear you,” Meg says, now seemingly back to her normal self as we near the end of our route. “James and Brooklyn have full schedules these next few nights, and Kevin doesn’t come home until Saturday. On top of that, I have a million appointments to catch up on now that the kids are back in school. This walk was perfect, though. It was so great to catch up again.”
Naomi nods as we walk to our cars and say goodbye. “And I’ll let you know what I find out about Kayli’s class.”
“Oh, right. Thanks.” Ugh. I actually feel my blood pressure tick upward as I reach for my door. At least I was given a heads-up, though. I’d have been blindsided if it weren’t for Meg and Naomi.
I sink into the driver’s seat as my friends drive away. It’s always hectic when the school year begins, but this year seems to be another level. I roll my neck as I start my car. Before Cathryn gets home, I still have to cram a couple of hours of work in, stop by the post office, pick up books from the library, and grocery shop. Sitting here agonizing isn’t going to help. I better get on it, so my mom-radar can be fully operational by the time the girls get home. I want to be able to detect even the slightest whiff of trouble.
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