Lies We Tell Ourselves

by Steena Holmes

Genres: Female Sleuths; Psychological Thrillers; Suspense; womens fiction; suspense thrillers; book club reads; psychological suspense

Synopsis

"I found her." One phone call and three whispered words is all it takes for Paige Fischer to risk everything - including her own life.

One missing sister...

Twelve years ago, Paige Fischer's identical twin, Jessica was kidnapped. Blaming herself, Paige never gave up hoping Jess is still alive, despite everyone else in her life insisting it's time to move on.

One devoted fiancé...

Jamie is the perfect partner, and father to their son, but when he asks Paige to set a date for their wedding, she tells him she can't, not until her sister is found. Every step forward Paige takes with her life feels like a betrayal to Jess and until Paige knows for sure what happened to her, she can't settle down.

One fateful lie...

There's been a sighting and all it takes is one phone call, one betrayal and one whispered threat for Paige to throw caution to the wind and do what nobody else could: rescue Jess. But what if Paige doesn't make it in time? Is Jess still alive? Or is someone playing a twisted game with Paige? Whatever outcome, the only thing Paige knows is that she's willing to risk it all, even her own life, if it means saving her sister.

Release date: October 25, 2020

Publisher: SH Press Inc.

Print pages: 390

Sample

PAISLEY VALLEY HOSPITAL PRESENT TIME: 3:30 a.m.

Everyone lies: the doctors who say I’m safe, the nurses who promise I’m protected, the police who swear to find my abuser.

Everyone is lying – to themselves, to me.

No one can protect me. No one can keep me safe. No one will find the man who did this. Even though he’s probably right here, in the middle of this mess, known by everyone.

 

I shiver as I lay in this bed, a thin grey blanket my only protection against the cold blast from the air conditioning. I could press the call button and ask for a new heated one, but that would mean having to reach the button that slipped from its placement on the bed.

I can’t do that. I can’t move. I can’t talk. I can barely see. Every single bone in my body feels broken, my skin flayed, my nerve endings on fire.

 

It’s a miracle I’m alive, they say.
I say miracles don’t happen in today’s world.

The pain, a cascading waterfall with a monstrous roar that’s both deafening and destructive, slowly recedes until it’s a dull throb, thanks to the morphine pumping through my system.

I know tears flow from my swollen eyes; they tickle against my skin and I wish I could whisk them away.

There’s a commotion outside my hospital room. I know there’s a police officer stationed by my door, a female. I don’t recognize her, which is a good thing. I don’t trust anyone. I can’t. I’ve learned the hard way that those you think are on your side, the ones that should be protecting you ... they’re the ones to fear the most.

There’s nothing quiet about this hospital. Not tonight, not at this hour. I hear everything: the squeak of a shoe, the whoosh from an opened door, the ding of the elevator, the ring of a phone.

And his voice.

Oh God ... not here, not now. I’m supposed to be safe.

It’s low, a murmur, but it’s his.

I recognize that tone. I’ve listened to it for seven years, it’s haunted my dreams, my nightmares, my every waking moment.

It’s a tone full of danger. I’ve learned to be careful, to be wary. I’ve learned how to play his games. But here, with whomever is guarding me ... I hear a hint a friendliness that has me shaking. 

 

Don’t be fooled, I try to yell out, but the sound is a muffled moan, a groan full of pain and fear.

At first, I think no one hears me, but then there’s a pause and a creak from the door as it opens. Light from the hallway spills into my room, illuminating the dull walls and machines surrounding me.

There’s a thud of a footstep and I feel his presence. He’s watching me.

One machine, the one playing a consistent tune, is louder now, the beeps increasing. My breath hitches. My heart stops, then starts, blood rushes to my ears with the power of a tidal wave.

There’s a chuckle. His chuckle. No. No-no-nonononono. He’s here. He can’t be here. They said I was safe. I’m not safe.

I’m in danger. More danger now even than before, when he beat me and left me for dead.

“My Angel.” His whisper slithers over me, sealing me in a skin of cold sweat. I shiver. I shake. I want to scream but my swollen throat won’t cooperate.

It takes a mountain of strength, but I search for the call button. The pad of my index finger, the only one I can move, hits the bed, with a tap-tap-tap, until it hits something solid. I feel for the indent on the button as I stare at the man who scares me more then hell itself.

He’s here. Just out of reach, a hovering shadow. I barely make him out, he’s a blur, I know he’s here. I know it’s him.

“You think you’ve gotten away, that you’re safe now, but that’s not true. No one can protect you like I can. No one can keep your son safe, like I can.”

I freeze. He keeps talking, his husky whispers wrapping me in chains, binding me to him.

“Stay quiet and he stays safe. That’s all you need to do. Don’t say a word and I’ll return him to you.” He hovers over me, close enough that I see the fire of truth shine bright in his eyes. He’s a demon in disguise.

“Tell anyone about me, whisper my name even, and you’ll never see your son alive again.” He bends down, placing a kiss on my lips, searing himself into the open wounds he ministered earlier.

“Oh, my Angel.” If his whisper is meant as a caress, then it’s peeling my skin off in layers with its touch. “What will we do with you?”