Prologue
Dear Diary,
Fuck, it sounds like I’m a hopelessly besotted teenage girl with heart beams spewing from her hormonal eyes. Yeah, there is no fucking way I can write Dear Diary. I need a different name. Something manly, something with giant balls, something that will scare away any little punk who tries to read this. Let me think on that.
And yeah, I fucking wrote besotted. I might be a whiskey-slinging party boy with the luck of a four-leaf clover, but I’m also a goddamn gentleman. A gentleman who occasionally writes words like besotted.
Unfortunately, this “gentleman” got himself into a wee bit of trouble. I blame it on the Irish temper and the tawdry hoodlums who thought they could get in my face while I was flirting with a fine-as-hell lass. But I guess the court system looks down upon punching someone in the nose while still expertly holding a tumbler of whiskey—didn’t spill a goddamn drop.
Thank fuck for a good lawyer. Well, I thought he was good until I realized what I had to do instead of jail time. Eighty hours of community service and anger management therapy sessions with Dr. Stick Up Her Ass, who requires me to write in this godforsaken diary about my . . . feelings.
Guess what I’m feeling?
Horny. Thirsty. And in the mood for a hot dog.
And that’s as much as you’re going to get out of me, Diary. Sorry if you were expecting a grand confession of childhood dilemmas or an outpouring of hysterical and exasperating diatribe. Not going to happen. Not with me.
Until our next unwanted engagement,
Roark
Chapter One
SUTTON
“It’s late.”
“It’s eleven thirty in New York City, so that’s early,” Maddie says, tugging on my arm. “Come on, live a little.”
I scan the dark streets, my dad’s warning about being a single girl in the city running on repeat in my head. “I don’t know, I think I should get home.”
I’ve lived in the city for two years now and have yet to be out this late on my own. Grad school and studying will do that to you. Also, the pure fear of being scooped up by a human trafficker—thanks, Dad—instills enough fear inside me to never go past my front door any time after nine at night.
But I’m supposed to be celebrating today, at least that’s what Maddie told me. After two solid years of doing nothing but studying, I graduated with a master’s in philanthropy, and I’m about to start my new job . . . working for my dad.
I know what you’re thinking—nepotism at its finest. And maybe . . . BUT I also earned the position, interning under the director of operations for four years. For free. I spent four years working my butt off—twenty hours every week—proving to the team I’m not just Foster Green’s daughter, but a valuable attribute to Gaining Goals, a non-profit foundation founded by my father, the four-time All-Pro quarterback for the New York Steel.
And all that hard work paid off when Whitney Horan hired me as public relations manager.
“You’re not going home. What happened to experiencing life? Remember that little New Year’s resolution you made?”
This is why I shouldn’t share anything too personal with Maddie. She always holds me to it. Although, I guess that’s what a best friend does. Also . . . she found my New Year’s resolutions on a notepad on my kitchen counter. At first, she admired the different colored pens I used for each resolution—five in total—and then memorized each and every one of them. Maddie and I met our freshman year in college, and she is the yin to my yang. Where I am more reserved, she’s outgoing and adventurous, an attribute I wish I possessed. But I would never tell her that.
“I don’t think staying out past eleven thirty defines living life.”
“It sure as hell does.” She loops her arm through mine, our puffy jackets clashing together to form one huge ball of warmth. “This is the beginning of living life. We did your thing and saw a Broadway musical, now we’re going to do my thing.”
“What’s your thing?” I ask hesitantly.
“Getting a hot dog.” Maddie hails a cab and rattles off the intersection of two streets like a true New Yorker.
“A hot dog? That’s living life?”
“Yes, and didn’t you say you wanted to try all the iconic food of New York?”
Darn it, another resolution, although that resolution has been my favorite and the easiest to accomplish so far, going around the city and trying all the different food the urban jungle is known for. But along with that resolution came a gym membership, one I’ve used quite often.
“I do want to try all the food,” I answer, biting on my lip.
“That’s why we’re going to Gray’s Papaya to get some famous hot dogs and mango juice.”
Thoughtfully, I ask, “Isn’t that the hot dog place in You’ve Got Mail?”
“And Fools Rush In,” Maddie adds. “If Matthew Perry is so fond of it, so am I. And from what reviewers have been saying, you’re supposed to get the dogs dressed in mustard and their famous onions. So get ready, we’re about to have dragon breath.”
“Oh, I can’t wait.” I chuckle.
Maddie elbows me in the side. “See, there you go, you’re getting into the spirit. Midnight hot dogs, what could go wrong?”
Famous last words.
***
Okay, this place is cute: white subway tile plastered on the walls, paper pineapples and bananas dangling from the ceiling, and mirrors hanging from the waist up so you can watch yourself enjoying your hot dogs at the tiny counters provided. It’s quaint and smells like heaven.
And if there was anything Maddie and I instantly bonded over, it was our love for hot dogs. We have no shame in buying one from a street vendor and eating it on our way to class. So even though I’m a little reserved, this is kind of fun.
“Look at all those wieners,” Maddie shouts as she steps up to the grill. “Thinner than I expected, but I’m not one to mock girth as long as they do the job. Am I right, Sutton?”
The guys behind the grill chuckle as my face heats up. I hold up my fingers and shyly say, “Two hot dogs, please. Mustard and onions.” I reach for my wallet when Maddie stops me.
“Two each please.” She turns to me and says, “It’s on me,” as if it’s no big deal, even though I’m the one who paid for her Broadway ticket.
I glance toward the dollar-fifty price tag and then back at her. “Are you sure you can handle that?”
“Hey now, don’t get sassy with me.” Muttering softly, she says, “I’m not the one with a father who plays professional football.”
True.
I put my wallet back in my purse and give her a side hug. “Thanks for the hot dogs.”
“Anything for my girl.”
Our hot dogs are delivered on rickety paper plates, which we take to the small counter in front of the mirror. Our drinks follow closely behind.
Inspecting the dog, I lift it up to my mouth right before Maddie stops me. “What are you doing? We need to document this. Hot dog selfie. Come on, Sutton.”
Maddie and her selfies . . .
Playing along, I hold up my dog with hers and smile into the mirror as she uses her phone to take a picture of our reflection.
The door blows open and in walk two guys: one wearing a suit and tie, the other in black jeans, white shirt, black jacket, and a beanie hanging loosely on his head. His green eyes connect with mine in the mirror as a small smirk pulls across his lips.
“What’s up, Miguel?” he says in an Irish lilt that quickly gains my attention. “Got some dogs for me, man?”
“No,” the guy behind the grill playfully says. “I don’t serve hot dogs to guys who put ketchup on them.”
The man in the tie eyes his friend. “You put ketchup on your hot dog?”
“It’s good.” The guy shrugs and pulls out a twenty. “Four hot dogs, two with ketchup, two with”—he gestures to his friend—“what do ya want?”
“Mustard and relish.”
From over her shoulder, Maddie scoffs. “Don’t you know you’re supposed to get mustard and onions on these beauties? Ketchup and relish are for heathens.”
Slowly, the Irishman turns toward us, a tilt to his head. “Who made you the hot dog police, lady?”
Proudly, Maddie says, “I did. If anything, I have experience. I know my wieners and how to make sure they taste good in my mouth.”
Oh, sweet Jesus. How can she come out with something so laced with sexual innuendo so easily? See? Yin to my yang. Although, I am mortified. I adjust my winter hat on my head and tug on Maddie’s arm just as more men filter into the small hot dog shop. Whispering, I say, “Don’t tell people how to eat their hot dogs.”
“I’m not telling them; I’m just letting them know they’re wrong.”
“Miguel, five dogs and coconut juice,” a man in a blue faux-fur jacket and droopy pants says, nodding at the grill master.
The space seems to be getting smaller and smaller, and for some reason the hairs on the back of my neck start to rise as Faux Fur—that’s what I’m calling him—eyes Irish up and down.
Miguel hands the ill-dressed hot dogs to Irish and the man in the tie, giving him a head nod before addressing Faux Fur and his friend.
Wanting to get out of this small space, I turn to take a bite of my hot dog when Maddie says, “I need to retake our picture. I look dead in the last one. This lighting is terrible. Maybe if I back up—”
“Maddie, watch out.”
But I’m too late. She bumps into the Irishman whose hot dog grazes the man in the faux-fur jacket. Jerking his arm to the side with disgust, Faux Fur glances in the mirror to check for stains. Out of sheer curiosity, I take a look as well only to find the tiniest fleck of ketchup on the jacket. A quick swipe of the finger would do the trick, but the guy in the jacket thinks otherwise. “You’re going to pay for this, you motherfucker,” he hisses. Frantically, the man searches his sleeve while Irish sits back and chews his hot dog, not a care in the world passing over his features.
“Are you fookin’ kiddin’ me?” he asks, his accent heavy. “It’s a fake, man. Here’s twenty bucks.” He reaches into his pocket. “Go buy another at the pagoda on the corner.”
Oh boy, that didn’t seem like the right move. I back up, a little nervous as Faux Fur spins—fire rolling from his eyes—and launches himself at the Irishman, who tosses his hot dogs in the air and powers forward as well. In a matter of seconds, all hell breaks loose and the two go at it, fists flying, shirts being torn, legs being kicked out from one another.
What is happening?
This is crazy.
Over hot dogs.
“Oh God,” I screech as they move toward us, backing Maddie and me into a corner. Like the voyeur she is, Maddie’s eyes never leave the brawl as she chews on her hot dog, fully invested in the fight, while my heart practically beats out of my throat, terror eclipsing me.
Curses are being thrown, cell phones, including mine, scatter across the floor, and the man in the tie reaches for his friend, trying to tear the two apart.
“Roark, leave it,” he shouts, as both guys roll over the dropped dogs. There will be ketchup on the jacket now.
“We’re going to die, we’re going to die,” I mutter, burying my head into Maddie’s shoulder.
“Ouch, that one is going to hurt,” Maddie says, attention still fixed on the fight. “The Irish guy took a jab straight to the eye.”
Oh, that’s what that crunch sound was.
“Oooo.” Maddie jolts backward. “Irish just pummeled jacket guy in the jaw.”
“I don’t need the play-by-play. Just get me out of here.”
“Take it outside,” Miguel yells over the grill.
For some reason, the two listen to Miguel and roll outside, but not before knocking over a small high-top table and some of the signs in their path. From the reflection in the mirror, I watch tie guy bend to grab his friend’s cell phone while still holding his hot dog, his face clearly annoyed. He doesn’t look particularly surprised. Maybe this isn’t the first time he’s had to deal with his friend fighting.
And I can believe that, given Irish went from zero to sixty in only a few seconds. I’ve never seen anything escalate that quickly, and I’ve watched a lot of football over the years.
Still beating the crap out of each other outside, I turn to Maddie, who has a huge smile on her face. “Wasn’t that exhilarating?”
Blinks.
“Are you insane? We could have been stabbed.”
She waves me off and goes back to her phone where she takes a selfie of herself, hot dog in her mouth. She chews and then says, “There were no knives involved. Just some good old-fashioned street fighting.”
“We need to get out of here.” I don’t bother with my hot dogs, entirely too freaked out to even consider eating them now. I pull on Maddie’s arm, who waves bye to Miguel and, luckily, flags down the first taxi she sees.
Once we’re settled in the vehicle and I’ve given the cab driver my address, I lean back on the seat and let out a long, scared breath. I take a few seconds to gather myself, my hands shaking, my nerves completely shot. What on earth would cause someone to launch into a fight with so little provocation? It was almost . . . animalistic.
“This is exactly why I don’t stay out past nine. We could have been seriously hurt.”
“Look at this picture,” Maddie says, leaning over. “You look hot in it.”
For the love of God.
Entirely uninterested, I don’t spare her screen a glance. “Maddie, how can you be calm after what just happened?”
She groans and sighs, eating the last of her hot dog. “Can you take a chill pill, Sutton? We’re fine. If anything, you should be thanking me. You just experienced a touch of culture. Wasn’t that fun?” She hands over my phone she must have picked up and says, “You dropped this.”
“Thank you,” I quietly say while looking out the window. “And I think I could do without that touch of culture. I’m fine with my life.”
“Have it your way, but I’ve never felt more alive.”
I guess that can happen when you’re faced with a near-death experience.
And yes, I might be over exaggerating about the near-death thing, but that was seriously scary. The guys were out of control. One wrong swing and we could have been clocked in the head. Given how many hours of football I’ve logged over the years, I really shouldn’t be so squeamish. But it’s probably why I am. I’ve seen the head injuries resulting from fights on the field, so I’m not interested in seeing much of the same when I’m out buying a hot dog on a celebratory night.
Peering down at my phone in the dark, I try to unlock it, but it asks for a password.
What?
I got this phone today and haven’t had time to activate any facial ID or enter a password. I bring the phone up into the light and examine it. Black case . . .
“Oh crap!”
“What?” Maddie asks, leaning over. “Did you break a nail in your attempt to climb inside my jacket?”
Funny.
“No. This isn’t my phone.”
“Seriously?” Maddie takes a look at it, flips it around. “Are you sure?”
I nod. “I had a purple case, but this is black.”
“Well, would you look at that.” She examines a picture, blowing it up with her two fingers, “I bet it’s the Irish guy’s phone.”
Of course, it is. Just my luck.
“Could this night get any worse?”
***
I pace the small space of my studio apartment, staring at the phone on my nightstand, willing it to ring. Maddie tried calling my phone several times but no one picked up, and since it was late, she wanted to get home. She told me she’d keep calling.
You would think Irish would have called by now since my phone doesn’t have a passcode on it.
Which . . . God, why didn’t I set that up at the store? Oh yeah, because it took an hour to update my phone, and I didn’t want to be late to the musical. Little did I know I was going to lose my phone during a fistfight in a freaking hot dog shop.
Twelve thirty, and there is no way I’m going to be able to sleep, not when my heart is still racing from the fight. My mind is whirling with everything the guy can get into with my phone.
“Ugh,” I groan, trying to recollect the pictures I have stored. No naked shots, I know that for sure. But selfies? You take at least ten until you have the right shot. I have so many selfies on that phone it’s going to look like I’m vain.
The phone buzzes on the nightstand and I run to it, my heart rate kicking up once again when I see my number flash across it.
Fumbling for a second, I answer and hold the phone up to my ear. “Hello?”
“Who’s this?” An Irish accent comes through the other end. Yup, Maddie was right, he ended up with my phone.
“Um, this is Sutton. I think you have my phone.”
“Yeah, no shit,” he groans. “How the hell did I get it?”
I don’t understand why he’s being so rude. It’s not necessary when he’s the one who ruined my night by mouthing off to the faux-fur guy.
“Well, you rudely bashed into me and my friend during your little hot dog fight and knocked my phone from my hand. Your friend must have picked up the wrong one.”
“Fucking Rath,” he mutters. “Where do you live?”
“Do you really think I’m going to tell you that? I just watched you punch the crap out of a guy over ketchup. You don’t seem like an upstanding citizen I’d want to hand over my address to.”
“I meant what borough. Christ.”
Oh, that makes more sense.
“Brooklyn.”
Another low groan.
“Of course. You seemed like a Brooklyn girl.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Ignoring my question, he says, “I’m in no form to hike it out there tonight, but we can meet up tomorrow to trade, in a neutral place since I don’t want you seeing where I live.”
How dare he? As if I really want to know where he rests his hot-tempered head at night. “It’s probably Jersey.”
Did I say that out loud?
“Ya think I live in fookin’ Jersey?” Lord, does this man have a short fuse.
“Where do you propose we meet?” I ask, ignoring his question.
He unhappily groans into the phone. “No idea. Fuck. I have a headache.” Well, probably because he took fists to the head tonight. “I have meetings all day tomorrow, but can ya meet in the morning.”
“What time?”
“Seven.”
Seven? I can do seven, but can he? I can’t possibly imagine this guy, who was just in a New York City brawl, recovering from brutal fists and what seemed like excessive alcohol intake, as a morning person.
“Uh, yeah. I can do seven. Where?”
“Bain on Pan on Fifth. I need a goddamn pastry tomorrow morning.”
That makes me giggle. “Okay.” I chew on my lip, a little nervous. “Uh, can you be careful with my phone? It’s brand new.”
“Not smart leaving a brand-new phone on the floor, don’t ya think?”
“I didn’t leave it on the floor. You knocked it out of my hand and then your friend took it.”
“Uh huh,” he answers, sounding entirely bored. “Whatever, lass. Just be there tomorrow morning, okay?”
Someone has a stick up his ass.
“I will be.”
“Oh, and if ya need to use my phone, my passcode is 111111. There’s a folder in my photo album of some of my favorite nudes I’ve gotten over the years. Help yourself.”
Ew, is he serious? I hold out the phone from my ear as if it’s diseased. It probably is.
“I think I’ll pass.”
“Your loss. Tomorrow, seven, don’t be late. I have shit to do.”
“I’ll be there,” I say with a stern tone. “And please don’t search through my phone. Be respectful of my privacy.”
“Aye, too late, lass. You take a lot of selfies.”
I don’t think I’ve ever disliked a person this much, this fast.
“That’s private.”
“Not anymore. See you tomorrow.”
Then he hangs up. I look down at the phone, my anger building in the pit of my stomach. I can’t believe he went through my pictures. Who does that?
My finger hovers over the number one on his screen, wanting to do my own exploration, curious who this man is and what drives him to be such a giant . . . asshole.
But I’m better than that. My dad taught me to be better than that. So instead, I unlock his phone and go straight to the clock where I set a wake-up alarm. I’ll be damned if I show up late tomorrow morning.
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