I stood at parade rest and watched out the front dining room window of my house as my roommate Josh said goodbye to his parents under a cloudy sky. His father gave him a sneer and a handshake, nodded his head, and then got in the car without actually saying anything. Cold bastard.
Josh turned to his mom, his face softening as he wrapped her up in his arms. I could tell they were whispering to each other, no doubt words of encouragement. They were one of the most beautiful sights in the world; they loved each other so much.
I remember the first time I’d seen Jennifer four years ago. I had been home on leave, and my baby sister was going to go on her first date with a fifteen year old Josh. I’d opened the door of the ratty trailer where my family lived to see Jennifer standing on the dilapidated porch, a huge grin on her face with Josh shifting on his feet behind her. He had looked everywhere but at me. But Jennifer kept her eyes on my face as she greeted me and asked for my sister Josie. As I stopped to study and really take in Jennifer’s beauty, a blush crept up her neck, and she dropped her gaze to my chest. Her unwitting submission pulled at something deep within me. Right then my life shifted forever. She belonged to me. I just had to be patient until she realized that she did.
I snapped out of the memory when Josh’s dad yelled out the open window about needing to get on the road to avoid rush hour traffic. Which was ridiculous. He made them leave early enough to be in Dallas before lunch. I could see Jennifer’s face flinch, even if her body stayed perfectly still so that her husband wouldn’t notice. Josh’s shoulders jerked however, and Richard smirked at him when he saw. Some days I just wanted to beat the smug look off Dick’s face.
Josh walked his mom around to her side of the car and opened the door for her. The late spring breeze tugged at Josh’s soft brown hair, and Jennifer pushed the longer pieces in the front off his forehead one more time. She smiled brilliantly at him, then got in the car. She had the same hair, though hers fell in gorgeous, big waves past her shoulders while Josh kept his fairly short. Except for the longer section at the front he swept to the side. I should tell Josh he needed to trim his hair again.
I couldn’t hear what Richard muttered, but his face said it wasn’t kind. His expression was a mixture of derisive disdain and disgust.
But Jennifer just sat there with her hands in her lap and kept her face neutral. She always did that: acting very meek and mild so that he wouldn’t lose his cool. I wondered sometimes just how effectively it worked, but it did well enough that he never actually crossed a line. At least, not in front of us.
If he had ever physically abused her around us, or did more than just raise his voice, he wouldn’t have survived the day. But he’d been behaving for four years now. So we just planned for the day that she would be ready to break free. To fly.
Richard backed out of the driveway and tore off down the road, while Josh stood waving and keeping a smile on his face for his mom, just in case she looked in the rear-view mirror.
As soon as Richard turned the corner out of the neighborhood, Josh dropped his hand, his shoulders slumped, and he turned to come into the house with heavy steps. When he came through the door, he looked up at me standing by the window, and the pain on his face broke my heart.
I walked over to the man I viewed as my younger brother, grabbed his neck, and pulled him to me. I leaned down to place my forehead on his and whispered, “I know it’s hard. I know you want her out. But it’s her choice to stay.”
I also hated watching Jennifer putting up with the emotional and verbal abuse from her husband. Our hands were tied until she decided it was time to leave Richard. The knowledge left a bitter taste in my mouth.
Josh whispered back, “I know.” I could hear the emotions clogging his throat. “But I couldn’t save JoJo. I can’t lose my mom too.”
I pulled Josh into a hug and hid my face from him, trying to swallow my own tears now. “I know, man. I know.” I missed my little sister Josie too.
Josh sniffed a bit, and then pulled away from me. “What should I make for lunch? I’m starving!” He put on his best fake-enthusiastic smile that didn’t reach his eyes and took off toward the kitchen. Lunch? It’s barely six in the morning.
Hiding in cooking meant Josh struggled with their trip. Josh whipping up gourmet meals from scratch was a sure sign of his distress. I stared after him, my heart aching. I wondered what Richard had said this trip to have Josh in tears.
We might never have met if Josh hadn’t dated Josie, but after four years he had become my family. The little brother I’d never had. I prayed something would change soon because I couldn’t watch my brother go on like this for too much longer.
I sighed as the sounds of pots, cabinet doors, and boxes slamming came from the kitchen. I walked past the culinary emotion-regulator to my master bedroom. I wanted to take a quick shower to wash the residue of Richard off of me. Josh cooked; I showered. We each had our own ways to cope with Richard’s visits.
I opened my bedroom door to find my lover and business partner, Len, stretched out on my bed, a book propped open on his chest, snoring lightly. His slim chest rose and fell slowly, and I was glad he could finally get some rest. Len tended to not sleep whenever Richard visited. Too many years on the frontline, feeling when danger was close. I gently pulled the book, Women Slaying in Business, from his hands and put it on the nightstand. I headed toward my bathroom when I heard Len’s voice softly behind me, “Is Dick gone?”
“Yeah, amore. They left.”
“Did Jenn cry again?” Last month when the Hansens had come for a visit, Jennifer ended up crying as Richard packed her into the car and took off. It had been hard on all of us to watch her tears and feel like our hands were tied.
“No,” I replied. I hesitated, and then decided to go on anyway, “but Josh did.”
“Damn,” Len’s sleepy voice said. “Guess we’ll be getting something good for lunch then.” He turned over, his tanned legs tangling in my white sheets, and went back to sleep.
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