Cereal Killer

Book 9: Savannah Reid Mystery

by G.A. McKevett

Genres: Cozy Mystery; Private Investigators; Female Sleuths

Synopsis

In a world where stick-thin women adorn fashion magazines and silver screens, plus-sized private eye Savannah Reid is grateful for the wild success--and fabulous fashion tips--of full-figured model Cait Connor. When Cait is found dead after months of extreme dieting, everyone assumes the risky regimen did her in. But then a second full-figured model meets an untimely end, and it's time to weigh the facts. . .and search for suspects. At first it seems that Cait's death is a clear case of dieting run amok. As the new spokesperson for Wentworth's Slenda Flakes, Cait needed to lose thirty pounds in sixty days and apparently died trying. It all seems cut and dried until Kameeka Wills, another plus model working--and starving--for Wentworth, is killed by a hit-and-run driver while jogging at four a.m. Now Savannah's really suspicious, and determined to avenge her curvaceous sisters. . .even if it means going undercover for the camera. There are more models on the Slenda Flakes campaign who could be at risk, and enough suspects to keep Savannah hopping. But she's determined to satisfy her craving for justice--before a cunning killer strikes again. . .

Release date: October 23, 2013

Publisher: Kensington Books

Print pages: 256

Sample

“I’m not going to eat another bite of food in this filthy jalopy of yours until you clean it out,” Savannah Reid said as she glanced over the seat into the rear floorboard of the battered old Buick. The sight of wadded burger wrappers, mustard-stained napkins, and assorted taco trash was enough to put her off the double chili cheeseburger and super-sized fries in her lap.

Secretly she had to admit that this principled stand of hers had more to do with the double scoop, rocky road, hot fudge sundae she had consumed half an hour ago than it did with the mess in the back of Dirk Coulter’s old Buick. The biohazard landfill site that he affectionately called his back seat had been irritating her for years. And since that massive sundae had taken the edge off her hunger, she figured it was a better time than most to launch a protest.

“I never thought I’d see the day when you’d threaten not to eat,” Dirk said as he pulled the Skylark out of the Burger Bonanza’s drive-through and entered the midday traffic on Vista Del Mar. “What’d you do . . . pig out on something before I picked you up back at your place?”

If there was anything that irked Savannah more than Dirk’s filthy car, it was his ability to read her with uncanny accuracy. She wanted to chalk it up to his finely honed skills as a police detective—and that might have had a little to do with it—but mostly it was because the two of them had spent far too much time together over the years.

Most married couples spent less so-called “quality” time together than they did.

Now there was a scary thought.

“What makes you think I ate something before you came by?” she asked.

He continued to drive as he fumbled with the Styrofoam burger container in his lap. “Easy. You had chocolate breath when you got in the car. And you’ve got something that looks like a piece of walnut between your front teeth.”

She quickly flipped down the visor and studied her reflection in the mirror on the back. “I do not have anything stuck in my teeth!”

“Lemme see.”

She peeled back her lips and gave him a gruesome grin.

He shrugged. “It’s gone now. What was it? Snickers bar?”

“Ice cream sundae. Breakfast of champions. And it was probably a pecan you saw stuck in my teeth. Us Georgia girls don’t eat walnuts,” she added with her best Southern drawl.

He chuckled as he lifted his burger to his mouth and took a hearty bite. Ketchup oozed out the side of the sandwich and dropped on the front of his Harley-Davidson T-shirt.

“Watch it. You’re dribbling on yourself there.”

He glanced down. “Naw, that’s spaghetti sauce from last night’s dinner.”

“It’s ketchup. I just saw it drop. What do you mean, last night’s spaghetti? You’re wearing the same shirt you wore yesterday? And you’re calling me gross because of a little nut between my teeth?”

“Hey, I sniffed it before I put it on. It was clean. I only wore it half a day yesterday. I had to change in the afternoon after that drugged-out perp bled on me.”

“A perp bled on you?”

Dirk grinned. But it was a nasty smile, not one to warm the heart. “Yeah. Me and him had a little disagreement.”

“I guess if he was the one who sprang a leak, that means you won the argument.”

“I always do.”

Savannah decided not to mention that she had seen him lose a few “disagreements” in years gone by, when he had wound up shedding more blood than the perps he’d caught. Dirk liked to think he was quite the bad ass, and he was a lot easier to get along with when she didn’t contradict him. Besides, for the most part, she was glad she was his friend and not his enemy. She had to agree; he was pretty bad . . . and frequently an ass, too.

They drove through the main business section of the small seaside town of San Carmelita and past a park whose perimeter was lined with palms. On one side of the park a dozen children entertained themselves in the sandbox and on swings. On the opposite side stood several picnic tables and barbecue pits.

“Pull in,” she told him, nudging him with her elbow. “I want to eat my lunch over there in the fresh air and sunshine.”

“I got fresh air.” He pointed to the pine tree shaped deodorizer dangling from his driver’s mirror. “Plenty of it.”

She grunted and gave him another nudge.

“All right, all right.” He pulled into the only blank spot at the curb and parked.

“That’s a fire hydrant,” she said, pointing to the obvious.

He reached into the back seat and rummaged through the debris until he produced a police ID plaque, which he propped on the dashboard. “Yeah, yeah,” he mumbled. “If the park catches on fire, I’ll move the car, Miss Goody Two-shoes.”

She muttered an abbreviated speech about “being a good example to young people” under her breath as they strolled to the nearest picnic table and found a seagull poop-free spot to spread their lunch and sit down. There was no point in muttering her character improvement speeches aloud; she had been trying to civilize Detective Sergeant Dirk Coulter for years. She’d had about as much luck at that as she had at dieting away those pesky extra thirty pounds, organizing her kitchen cupboards, and halting the depletion of the ozone layer.

The older she got, the smarter she got, and the more carefully she picked her battles. Now solidly into her forties, Savannah had learned the value of conserving life energy. Once a tireless perfectionist, she had recently decided to live by a new motto: If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. And if you still can’t pull it off, give up. There’s no point in being a damned fool about it.

They were golden words to live by. She considered having them tattooed on her left buttock. Heaven knows, there is plenty of room back there—something else that might have caused her a great deal of angst a decade ago. But no more.

Savannah liked herself, her life, and her butt . . . all of it. And now that she wasn’t sitting in his dirty car, she even liked Dirk. With the Southern California sunshine in her face, the ocean breeze in her hair, and a chili cheeseburger in her mouth, she was a happy kid.

“You got any jobs lately?” Dirk asked between chews.

Her spirits plummeted.

Motto number two: Happiness is short-lived. Enjoy it while you’ve got it. Something to tattoo on her right buttock for balance.

“No. Nada. Zilch. Not one ka-ching in the old cash register in over a month now,” she admitted. “Private detecting may pay more than being a cop did, but work’s spotty.”

“Maybe you oughta drop your standards a little, start taking on those wayward hubby spying jobs. You must get a call a day for those.”

“Try two or three a day. If I wanted to hang around outside quickie motels and take amateur porno pictures with zoom lenses, I’d be rollin’ in the dough.”

“So?”

“So what? There has to be a more noble way to pay the bills than providing evidence for wives who probably knew they should leave their scumbag husbands years ago.”

“You could still be a cop, rousting druggies and getting stuck with dirty needles, frisking scanky hookers and chasing scrawny crack heads through back alleys, gettin’ your favorite T-shirts bled on.... Now that’s noble.”

Savannah looked across the picnic table at her comrade-in-arms who, in spite of the additional wrinkles and crow’s-feet and the slightly thinner hairline, still had a wicked gleam in his eye when he talked about being a cop. There was still plenty of life in the old dog, and she wasn’t exactly ready to lie down, roll over, and play dead either.

Besides, Dirk was never happier than when he had something to piss and moan about. He lived to gripe.

Savannah glanced around the park, enjoying the rare moment of relaxation with her old friend. Dirk seldom took a day off, and when he did, he usually spent it fishing off the end of the city pier. But the tide and the winds were high this morning, and the pier had been closed, spoiling Dirk’s recreational plans and dashing his hopes of snagging a free dinner.

Hence, Savannah had been graced with the pleasure of his company. And even though his disposition might not be the rosiest or his conversation the most scintillating, Dirk was as comfortable and well worn as her blue terry-cloth bathrobe. And she loved both him and the robe, whether she would have admitted it or not.

In the middle of her savor-the-moment reverie, she heard a mild disturbance on the other side of the park, near the sandbox where the children were playing. A couple of grungy, street-worn guys were standing nose to nose, fists clenched, arguing about something. Because of the proximity of the children, Savannah studied the situation with the eye of a former peace officer. Dirk, too, had laid down his burger and was listening with grudging interest as the argument escalated to a shouting match.

More than one curse floated through the summer air, references to unnatural sexual acts and equally unsavory intimate relationships with immediate family members.

“Damn it. Not on my day off,” he grumbled, rising from the bench. “And I know one of those idiots, too. The blond one’s a CI of mine.”

Reluctantly, Savannah left her own lunch to the mercy of marauding seagulls and followed him as he strode across the grass toward the pair.

“One of your informants?” she said, running a couple of steps to catch up with him. “Did he ever give you anything worthwhile?”

Dirk snorted. “Naw. He just rats out anybody who’s on his shit list, anybody he wants to get even with.”

“Hmmm . . . he’s not long for this world if he keeps doing that. Somebody’s bound to punch his time card.”

“Not soon enough to suit me.”

As they reached the middle of the park, the tall, skinny blond guy spotted them and abruptly left his opponent, a husky black fellow dressed in leather garb, draped in chains, and bristling with silver studs.

“Hey—hey, you, Coulter!” the blond yelled as he hurried toward Dirk and Savannah. “Come ’ere! I got a complaint to make!”

The children in the sandbox had stopped playing and were watching with their concerned mothers as the guy ran up to Dirk and grabbed him by the arm.

“Let go of me,” Dirk said, shaking his hand away. “What’s the matter with you, cussin’ like that in front of women and children? You got no couth?”

“He ripped me off! That dude sold me bad rocks, man. I want you to arrest him.”

At the word “arrest,” the dude in question began to not-so-nonchalantly stroll away in the opposite direction.

“Go get him, man! He cheated me out of fifty dollars, cuz. Fifty big ones! That’s gotta be a felony, right?”

Dirk fixed him with an evil eye. “What are you telling me, you moron? That somebody sold you some bad dope? Is that what you’re trying to say to me?”

Savannah grinned. Even the slowly retreating guy in leather had a smirk on his face.

“Yeah, man!” the blond wailed, holding out his open palm, which contained a couple of tiny wads of cellophane plastic, wrapped around small cream-colored squares of something that looked like soap. “He sold me macadamia nuts, man! Fuckin’ macadamia nuts instead o’ rocks! What does he think I’m gonna do with these . . . make friggin’ chocolate chip cookies? I ain’t no Mrs. Fields, man! Lock him up, Detective! But get me my fifty dollars back first.”

Dirk stared down at the bindles in the guy’s hand for what seemed like forever. Savannah stifled a snicker.

Then Dirk growled and batted them out of his hand. The misnomered contraband sailed through the air and landed in some nearby shrubs.

“Are you stupid or just plain dumb?” Dirk asked him. He grabbed him behind the neck and gave him a shake like he was a puppy who had just piddled on the good rug. “You want me to intervene because you got ripped off in a drug deal? You expect me . . . on my day off, no less . . . to arrest some guy for selling you macadamia nuts instead of rock cocaine? Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Well . . . I . . .”

“You come here to a city park, where mothers bring their babies to play, and you make a damned drug deal, and you have the nerve to complain to me when you get ripped off? Why, I oughta—”

“Actually . . .” Savannah said, stepping between them, “Dirk, you oughtn’t to. Really . . .”

She nodded toward the dozen or so wide-eyed children and their mommies who were hanging on every word.

Dirk released his informant, who seemed to quickly realize that this situation wasn’t going at all the way he wanted. Not only was the police detective not interested in dispensing any justice his way, but his dishonest dealer was about to leave the park.

“I can’t believe this,” the blond sputtered. “So much for ‘protect and serve,’ huh? So much for keeping the peace and all that crap.”

He left Dirk and rushed over to the shrubs, where he retrieved his bindles. Then he hurried after the guy in the leather jacket, who was waiting for a break in traffic to cross the street and exit the park.

“Can you believe that?” Dirk said, watching him and shaking his head.

“Oh, yes. I believe anything. That was a close one, huh, buddy?”

Dirk nodded. “No kidding. If they’d actually come to blows I’d be spending my day off dragging them to the house and doin’ fives. The last thing I want is paperwork when I’d rather be fishing.”

“Or hanging out with me if the pier’s closed.”

He gave her a sideways grin. “Yeah, or hanging with you.”

From the other side of the park, they could hear the blond yell, “See if I ever buy anything from you again, you asshole!”

The black man slowly turned back toward him.

“Huh-oh,” Savannah said. “I’ve got a bad feeling about . . .”

“What’s the matter, you candy-ass pimp?” the blond continued. “Did that crack-whore mamma of yours use up all of your stash? Is that why you’re out sellin’ macadamia nuts instead of the real thing, huh?”

Dirk sighed. “Eh, shit.”

Savannah nodded. “Yep.”

Less than four seconds later, Dirk’s least favorite confidential informant was on the ground, getting the daylights pummeled out of him by an angry dope dealer who didn’t seem to mind at all that a police detective was casually making his way toward him across the park lawn.

Savannah strolled along beside Dirk, her arm laced companionably through his. They looked like a couple of old folks taking their daily constitutional as a few yards away fists flew, along with colorful curses, bits of spit, some handfuls of hair, and finally . . . a bloody tooth.

“I’ll help you fill out the fives,” she told Dirk in her best consoling voice. “You just dictate and I’ll type.”

“You’re damned right you will,” he replied. “It was your idea to have lunch in this friggin’ park instead of the safe, trouble-free confines of my car. You owe me, girl.”

Sitting in her cushy, wing-back chair with its cabbage rose-print chintz, her feet propped on the matching ottoman and warmed by two black cats, one on each side, Savannah was at peace with the world. Or at least, she would have been except for the pile of past-due bills in her lap that needed attention. Unfortunately, they needed more than just her attention; they needed paying. The creditors had already sent the polite green and yellow versions. But more than one of these not-so-friendly reminders bore threats in bold red ink and the occasional exclamation mark—all designed to strike terror in the heart of the delinquent bill-payer.

But Savannah wasn’t terrified. When sitting in her favorite chair, feet warmed by purring, sleeping cats, the most she could muster in the way of negative feelings was mild depression and a modicum of embarrassment. Someday this private investigation business of hers would start to pay off. Someday. Some way. Somewhere . . . over the rainbow.

Looking across her living room, she watched as Tammy Hart, her friend, assistant, and crime detection protégée sat studiously at the computer on the rolltop desk in the corner and surfed the Internet. Tammy seemed to think that if she searched long and hard enough, she would eventually find some jobs for the Moonlight Magnolia Detective Agency.

Not knowing diddly-squat about the Internet, Savannah had her doubts that Tammy’s efforts would pan out, but if the kid wanted to look, she was welcome to it. Long ago, Savannah had realized that Tammy didn’t hang around for the occasional moneys Savannah was able to shuffle her way. Like Savannah, Tammy truly enjoyed the work, when it came along. Tracking down missing kids, locating long-lost loved ones, and occasionally getting to nab a really bad guy made the dry times worth it.

Besides the joys of nailing a bad boy, and occasionally a bad girl, the two women had something else in common—an unexpected friendship. Unexpected because they couldn’t have been more different.

Ten years younger than Savannah, Tammy was a California golden girl, with sun-bleached, long blond hair and lean, tanned limbs. She was also a computer whiz and a rabid health nut.

On the other hand, Savannah had dark curly hair and a peaches-and-cream complexion and was both technologically and dietetically challenged. Savannah’s definition of a megabyte was a mouthful of See’s candy or a Mrs. Fields cookie. As a result, her limbs weren’t particularly lean . . . or any other part of her for that matter.

Once, years ago, she had hated Tammy for wearing a size zero and a half. But Savannah had come to terms with her own overly voluptuous body and now only hated Tammy occasionally . . . like when they were trying on clothes in the Victoria’s Secret dressing rooms.

“So, Dirko’s coming over tonight, huh?” Tammy asked without turning away from her screen.

“Sure he is. There’s a heavyweight bout on HBO at nine. He’ll show up at eight, hoping that I’ll feed him.”

“You’ll feed him. You feed every living thing within a mile of you.”

Savannah chuckled. It was true; Southern hospitality demanded that nobody grow faint from hunger in the presence of a Reid woman.

“Why doesn’t Dirko watch the fight on his own TV?” Tammy wanted to know. “He mooches off you too much.”

“It would only be mooching if I minded. I don’t mind. Usually,” she added, thinking of all the times Dirk had finagled her out of a free burger or hot dog when they’d worked the streets together. “Besides, Dirk doesn’t have HBO. He doesn’t even have cable, for heaven’s sake.”

“Oh, yeah, I forgot. No-frills Dirk.”

“Eh, what do you expect from a guy who thinks that the ultimate experience in fine dining is supersizing his burger and fry order?”

Tammy glanced at her watch. “Seven-thirty . . . I think I’ll split.”

“Don’t want to hang out and watch two men beat the crap out of each other?”

Tammy shuddered. “And listen to Dirk screaming at the top of his lungs about jabs, cuts, and head butts? No, thanks.”

Savannah watched her shut down the computer. “No luck finding work?”

“Not unless we’re ready to become bounty hunters, chasing dirtbags who’ve jumped bail. There seem to be a few openings for those if your name’s Bubba and you’re six feet four and weigh three hundred pounds.”

“Shows what you know about bounty hunting. Sure, there are some big, nasty hunters named Bubba, but I’ve met others who were female and looked like you, girlie-girl. And they weren’t chasing just the dirtbags. Most hard-core criminals know the drill, and they’ll show up for court. They’ve been through it all before, done their time, got out, re-offended, and landed back in the system. It’s the scared welfare mother who wrote bad checks for groceries who takes off. She’s terrified, not knowing what to expect, thinking her life’s over. Let somebody else track her down. I’m not that desperate yet.”

She glanced down at the stack of bills in her lap, then around her modest house. The lights were on. In the kitchen and in the bathroom the water was running. The mortgage payment was only three days late, and the refrigerator was well stocked.

Something was bound to come along soon. It always did.

“Thanks for coming over,” Savannah said, rising and walking Tammy to the door. “Sure you don’t wanna hang around and say hi to Dirk?”

Tammy made a face, reminding Savannah of a kindergartner who had just heard the name of her seven-year-old brother mentioned. “Just tell him I said, ‘Sit on a tack . . . or a railroad track.’ Tell him to eat an apple with a big worm in it and chew thoroughly. Tell him—”

“Okay, okay. I gotcha. I’ll give him your warmest regards.”

Tammy stuck up her middle finger.

“Yes, yes . . .” Savannah sighed. “Without the sign language, though, if you don’t mind. I am a lady.”

Tammy snickered. “A lady who’s not above sitting on a perp’s head if necessary to hold him down or jamming her fingers down his throat to get the drug evidence he’s trying to swallow.”

She shrugged and grinned. “Whatever the job requires.”

Just as she was opening the door for Tammy, she heard the phone ring behind her.

“That’s probably Dirk now,” Tammy said, “wanting to know if you’ll make a pot of your homemade chili and cornbread for him.”

“Hmm . . . good idea. Except for the beans. I do have to spend the evening with the guy.”

She waved Tammy out the door, then hurried to the telephone. As Tammy had predicted, it was Dirk. But he didn’t sound hungry. He sounded harried.

“I’m gonna have to take a rain check on dinner tonight,” he said.

“I didn’t invite you for dinner yet, just the fight.”

“Whatever. I’m gonna miss that, too.”

“What’s up? Where are you?”

“I’m still at the station house. I was trying to get out of here after processing those idiots from the park, and I caught a case.”

Savannah perked up. She couldn’t help herself; it was in her blood. “What’s the case?”

“Dead body. Some gal’s down in one of those fancy houses on the beach. Gotta go check it out. Sounds like it was a heart attack—a fat chick who was exercising too much or something. But she’s young, so I have to go down th. . .