Awakened

Book 3: Intimate Relations

by Kate Douglas

Genres: Romantic Suspense; Contemporary Romance

Synopsis

PASSION NEVER SLEEPS.

Small-town barista Mandy Monroe will never forget the first time she saw the man of her dreams. Every morning, this impossibly gorgeous hunk would ride his bike past her coffee shop, fueling her wildest romantic fantasies. But when she learns that her crush is none other than vineyard owner Marc Reed, one of America’s hottest young entrepreneurs, Mandy knows her fantasy will never become a reality. That is, until Marc’s home burns down and he moves in with her…

As a roommate, Marc is as warm, friendly, and down-to-earth as he is rich, famous, and heartstoppingly handsome. But beneath his laidback exterior beats the heart of a red-blooded man with an uncontrollable urge to take Mandy in his arms and make mad, passionate love to her. Mandy is everything he’s ever wanted; she’s sweet, smart, funny, and irresistibly sexy. But how he can tell her the truth about his past? How can he explain the nightmares that haunt him every night? And how can he tell Mandy he loves her…without putting her heart, and her life, in danger?

Release date: June 28, 2016

Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

Print pages: 320

Sample

CHAPTER 1
 
He’d been here so many times before, this room that was almost familiar, the wall of mirrors reflecting an image he’d tried to forget. He didn’t know the woman who struggled. Couldn’t see the face of the man whose hands encircled her throat. Marc didn’t know who they were or when this happened. Not until they turned. He watched her slim body sag and disappear from view. Raised his head and gazed in horror at the man in the mirror.
Marc stared into the eyes of a killer. His very own dark brown eyes.
“Marc? I’ve got honey oat muffins just out of the oven. Are you awake?”
Mandy. He rolled to his back, sucked in a deep breath and concentrated on slowing his racing heart. “Be out in a minute. I overslept.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep them warm for you. Not gonna let you starve.”
He heard her laughing as she went back down the hall. The last remnants of the dream faded away, but Mandy was in the kitchen and the muffins were warm.
All was once again right with the world.
*   *   *
“Hey Marc! Your cell phone’s calling you.”
Marc reached into his pocket and laughed. “Crap, Ben. Where is it? I thought I had it.”
“Sounds like your bedroom.”
With a half-assed salute, Ben Lowell threw his military duffle over his shoulder and headed for the front door. Marc raced down the hall to his bedroom and grabbed the phone off the bedside table. It stopped ringing the moment he reached for it, so he glanced at the caller ID before returning the call.
No. On second thought, he wasn’t about to return this bastard’s call. A notification popped up, telling him he had voicemail. He deleted the message without listening, shoved his phone in his pocket, and went back to the front room.
It looked like the cab was here for Ben and his fiancée, Lola Monroe. “This your bag, Lola?” When she nodded, he said, “I’ll take it down.” He picked it up and pretended to fall over. “Pack the set of horseshoes for the trip? Gonna play a game on the mall in DC?”
“Of course.” Lola’s expression never wavered. “Thank you. Tell Ben I’ll be there in just a sec.” Then she went back to her conversation with her sister Mandy, an extension of what the guys had been calling the long goodbye over the past few days. The girls were close. He wondered how Mandy was going to handle the two of them being apart for at least a week.
Though his biggest concern was how he was going to handle being alone with Mandy. Worrying about it had kept him awake nights for most of the week, but there was nothing he could do about it now. Hauling Lola’s suitcase, he headed down the front stairs to the waiting cab.
*   *   *
The moment the door closed behind Marc, Mandy remembered. “Don’t go yet, Lola!” She raced back into the kitchen and grabbed the bag of chocolate chip cookies off the kitchen counter. She caught her sister as she was reaching for her new carry-on bag.
Lola paused at the door. “Okay. What’d I forget now?”
“You didn’t. I did. I forgot to give you the cookies I baked for you and Ben to munch along the way.”
“Yum! Thank you.” Laughing, she took the cookies from Mandy. “You realize, I actually hope we’ll both be sleeping. I can’t believe my first trip in an airplane’s going to be in the dark. I won’t get to see anything.” She stuck the cookies in her bag. “Thanks. I’m going to miss you.”
“I’m going to miss you, too. Now hurry. The cab’s here.”
Lola gave her a tight hug and whispered in her ear, “You just want me out of here so you can finally get Marc all to yourself.”
“Yeah. Like that’s going to do any good.” Mandy exhaled. Loudly. Frustration was too simple a word, especially when Marcus Reed and his lack of interest wasn’t the only thing that had her upset tonight. “Text or call me when you two get to your hotel, okay?”
“I will. Love you, sis.” Lola winked and added, “Good luck.”
Smiling, because that was the best she could do, Mandy merely shrugged. “One can hope. You, too. Have a safe trip. Let me know when you get there.”
“Promise.”
One last hug, and then Lola was practically skipping down the stairs. Ben grabbed her bags and stuck them in the trunk while Marc helped Lola into the back seat, leaned in to kiss her cheek, and then shook Ben’s hand before Ben got in beside Lola. Mandy waited beneath the porch light and waved as the cab pulled away from the curb, heading to San Francisco International Airport.
Silly, how she actually felt sort of weepy, standing here on the top step, watching Lola leave with Ben. She and her sister had never really been apart, but they’d been alone so much as kids, they had practically raised themselves. Now Lola was headed to DC with Ben while he testified at a pretrial hearing in a case against a powerful senator. They’d be gone at least a week.
Yeah, she was going to miss Lola, and Ben, too, but not for the obvious reason. Their absence meant she’d be here alone with a man she’d lusted after for years.
One she’d fallen head over heels in love with when they’d finally met.
A man who’d been one of their roommates for a little over two months now—sixty-three days, to be exact. The only problem? Marc didn’t notice Mandy at all. Why should he? The guy was gorgeous, brilliant, rich—the list was endless—while Mandy was nothing but the ex-barista for a now defunct coffee shop. She’d still had a job this morning, but she hadn’t quite gotten around to telling any of her roommates she’d suddenly joined the ranks of the unemployed.
Standing alone, watching Marc as he said goodbye to Ben and Lola, she wished she were something better, someone more. A woman Marc might look up to and respect. A woman he could love.
He turned then, glanced at the house, and actually made eye contact with her for one brief moment. Then he bowed his head and, with both hands shoved deep in his pants pockets, walked slowly toward the front steps.
He couldn’t have made his feelings any more obvious. It was clear he was dreading the idea of the two of them alone together for however long the hearings in Washington, DC lasted. Sighing, Mandy turned away and went inside. Marc walked slowly up the steps and followed her into the living room.
She’d wondered for weeks what it would be like, finally to be here alone with Marc.
Now she knew. It was going to be absolutely heartbreaking.
*   *   *
“Seems really strange with them gone, doesn’t it?” Staring at Mandy’s slim back as she walked through the front room and into the kitchen, Marc wondered how he was going to handle the next week. Damn, he hoped the hearings didn’t last any longer.
Mandy opened the cabinet over the sink and grabbed a bottle of gin. “You have no idea,” she said. Turning, she held up the bottle. “I think it calls for gin and tonic. You want one?”
She looked stiff and uncomfortable. Mandy was usually so laid back, relaxed, and cheerful. She always managed to make him laugh, and he enjoyed being around her. He’d worked really hard at keeping his feelings buried, and she’d made it easy. She hadn’t come on to him the way so many women did—especially the ones who knew what he was worth.
He’d never realized what a problem having money could be, but Mandy wasn’t the least bit impressed. She teased him the way she teased her friends Kaz and Jake, and Ben and her sister. She treated Marc exactly the same as the ones she thought of as her family, and yet she had no idea how much that meant to him.
Tonight though, she really wasn’t acting like herself. He had no idea at all what was going on, but a drink sounded like a good place to start. “Yeah,” he said. “I’ll get the lime and tonic water.”
“Thanks.” She set the bottle on the counter, paused there for a moment, and then bowed her head. “I’m sorry. I’m not going to be very good company. I already miss Lola.” She raised her head and sent him a sad little smile. “We’ve never been apart more than a couple of days. Not ever.”
“She said this is her first flight.”
Mandy nodded. “It is. I’m still waiting for my turn.” She sighed and handed the bottle to him when he reached for it.
“Sit,” he said. “I’ll make ’em.”
“Thanks.” She took one of the stools at the counter, propped an elbow on the granite, and rested her chin in her palm. She looked absolutely lost.
This went way beyond her sister going on a trip.
He kept glancing her way as he grabbed two glasses out of another cabinet, found the tonic water in the refrigerator, and snagged a lime out of the basket on the counter. She hadn’t budged, hadn’t said a word. “Cheer up, Mandy. She’ll be back before you know it.”
Mandy nodded and stared out the back window.
He added ice and mixed the drinks, but it was weird with Mandy so quiet. She usually had something funny to say about everything. Not tonight, but he wondered if it might be something else—her gloomy behavior seemed a little excessive just because Lola had taken off on a trip.
Maybe she just needed to relax. He knew he did. Ever since he’d learned that Ben and Lola were going to make this trip, that he and Mandy would be here alone, he’d been a wreck.
He finished making the drinks and topped them off with an extra shot of gin. Then, squeezing a slice of lime into each of the glasses, he handed one to Mandy.
“Thanks.” She took a sip and sighed. “Tastes good. How come we never put you in charge of the drinks?”
“All you have to do is ask.” He took the stool beside hers and sipped his drink. Maybe he was taking a risk, sitting so close, but something was wrong and it wasn’t in him to ignore a friend. Especially Mandy. “Okay, Mandy. Are you going to tell me what’s really bothering you?”
She shook her head, but at least she smiled. “How’d you know?”
“Big block letters scrawled across your pouty little face.”
This time she laughed. “You are such a charmer.”
“Perceptive, too, I think.” He wished he could tell her how many nights he’d fallen asleep, imagining her above him, beneath him, her honey-blond hair framing her beautiful face.
No way was that going to happen. Not with Mandy.
She was much too special, and he cared for her too much to take the risk. He never touched Mandy, never allowed himself the luxury, but for whatever reason, he reached out and used his fingers to push her long bangs out of her eyes.
Her head snapped up at his touch, her lips parted. Her brown eyes, so unusually dark with all that streaky blond hair waving this way and that around her face, had filled with questions.
He ignored them. “Talk to me, Mandy. Tell me.”
“I lost my job today.” Her lips trembled, she rubbed her hand over her eyes, and Marc wanted to hold her so much he ached.
“What happened?”
Mandy let out a slow breath, but she wouldn’t look at him. “My boss shut the coffee shop down without any notice or warning. I’ve worked there for seven years, and there was nothing, no ‘thank you for all your help,’ nothing. I went in this morning to work and she handed me my final paycheck and said she’d decided to close this one because the new shop was doing so well. When I think of all the hours I’ve worked without overtime, all the days off I’ve given up…” She raised her head and her expression was bleak. “I feel used, Marc. Like I never mattered to her at all. I thought we were friends. I watched her kids for her when she was in a bind, took her soup when she was sick, but she opened a new shop downtown, hired all new people, and closed this one without even warning me.”
“That sucks, Mandy. Damn. I am so sorry.” He wasn’t sure how, but in a heartbeat she slipped past his defenses. He had his arms around her, holding her the way he’d dreamed since the first time he met her a little over two months ago. She felt even better than he’d imagined. Her cotton knit dress hugged her curves, and once he held her, he knew she wasn’t wearing a bra. Everything about Mandy felt soft and warm and so wonderfully feminine.
Her hands slipped over his waist, slowly crept around him, almost tentatively, as if she wasn’t sure of his response, so he hugged her tighter. She needed it right now, needed him.
And damn it all, he needed her. Needed Mandy Monroe more than he’d ever needed or wanted anyone or anything in his entire life.
*   *   *
She’d wondered what it would feel like if Marc ever hugged her. She’d imagined all the bells and whistles, the thrill of their bodies coming together, the shivers and fireworks of sexual awareness she’d read about but had never experienced. Now? As she nestled close to his broad chest, heard the steady beat of his heart beneath her ear, felt the warmth of his breath on her cheek, she felt none of those things. What she felt was something so much stronger, so powerful, it left her stunned.
For the first time since she was a little girl growing up with the world’s most dysfunctional mother, Mandy felt as if she’d truly come home. Sighing, she allowed herself this one moment in time and held on to Marcus Reed as if she’d never let him go.
But the most amazing part of his simple hug given for comfort? It didn’t feel like Marc wanted to let go of her, either.
Long minutes later, he sighed. “You okay?”
Well, she knew it had to end at some point. “Yeah.” Drawing in a deep breath, she straightened. “Thanks.”
He smiled as he released her; she sat straighter on her stool in front of the counter. Took a sip of her drink. Stared at the lime slice floating on top of the ice. It was easier than looking at Marc, easier than seeing that “I’m your good buddy” look on his face.
His drop-dead gorgeous face. And the best thing about all that absolute deliciousness? He didn’t have a clue how attractive she found him. He was naturally classy, his body trim and toned, not muscle-bound, but all lean strength and almost patrician good looks. His short, thick hair was so dark brown it was almost black, and he wore it neatly trimmed most of the time. Only on a few occasions had it come even close to touching his collar the way it was now. Marc looked like an aristocrat—it was easy to imagine him in a sleek, black tux, sipping a martini in a classy nightclub somewhere.
Not here in her kitchen wearing a ragged T-shirt that fit like a second skin, and faded black jeans resting low on his hips, hugging his perfect butt.
Even his bare feet were sexy.
“I’ve got an idea.” He stood and held out a hand, bringing her back to reality.
Raising her head, she grinned at him. “What? Besides getting blitzed on gin and tonic, that is.” She took his hand. They never held hands unless he was tugging her somewhere, but she’d never been so aware of being alone with him before. She glanced at their clasped hands. He must really be feeling sorry for her.
His fingers tightened around hers and he laughed. “Well, we can do that, too. I unpacked a couple of boxes I hadn’t emptied since the move and found the six-episode set of Star Wars movies I thought I’d lost. How’s that sound?”
He leered at her. Mandy giggled. Marc didn’t strike her as the leering type, but then she wasn’t much of a giggler, either.
“I promise to continue refreshing your drink.”
Actually, that didn’t sound like too bad an idea. “Be still my heart,” she said, reaching for her gin and tonic. Laughing as he tugged her along behind him, she followed Marc into the front room. “A Star Wars marathon while being plied with cheap gin sounds like a marvelous way to spend a Saturday evening.”
Sliding Rico, her basset hound, to one side, Mandy got comfortable on the couch while Marc stuck a DVD in the player. When he walked back to sit, she thought he’d take the recliner, but instead he slid Rico a little bit farther along the leather seat and sat between the old dog and Mandy.
He put his bare feet on the coffee table. “You’re not going to yell at me, are you?”
“No. What for? You’re not wearing shoes.” Lola had strict rules about feet on furniture with shoes.
He grinned at her, and damn but he had the sexiest smile. “Not the feet on the table, silly. This.” He settled close beside her on the well-worn couch and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “You’ve gotta have an arm around the girl if you’re at the movies.”
He had to be kidding if he thought she’d yell at him for this. Kidding or just terribly dense. She welcomed the weight of his arm resting over her shoulders. Snuggled close and inhaled his scent, subtle but so very much his own. “No,” she said. “Not gonna yell.” Then she sighed. “Too bad we’re out of popcorn.”
“So we drink instead.” He raised his glass as he settled back. Rico grunted and resettled himself closer to Marc, and the only sound was the DVD cycling through the legal notices before the opening credits to the first movie started. That, and the pounding of Mandy’s heart.
It took her only a few more heartbeats to relax against Marc. He was warm and solid and strong, and so welcome, tonight of all nights. He was offering friendship and comfort, but she was greedy. Mandy wanted more. Tonight, if Marc seemed willing, she’d take whatever she could get.
*   *   *
He knew the moment Mandy finally let go and fell asleep. She sort of nuzzled his chest and the next thing he knew she was all scrunched up against him, her lips slightly parted, taking slow, even breaths. He carefully lifted her and settled her slight frame in his lap with her head tucked up against his shoulder.
She was so much tinier than Lola, barely five three to Lola’s five eight, her slight but perfectly proportioned frame giving her a pixie quality that hid what Marc and Ben privately referred to as a personality that was a force of nature, and a spine of pure steel. Mandy might be kind and loving, a truly good-hearted soul, but he’d heard tales of her bravery that gave him chills. The thought of her calmly facing down Lola’s crazy ex-boyfriend when the guy barged in armed with a gun made Marc really glad he and Ben had decided to put better locks on the doors, even though they’d done the upgrade a couple of years after the actual event.
Of course, that hadn’t been the entire reason—when Ben showed up in search of his brother Jake a few months ago, he’d unknowingly brought a whole lot of unexpected trouble home from his tour in Afghanistan, including some scary guys with guns trailing him.
Putting extra deadbolt locks on the bedroom door had been Marc’s suggestion. In case anyone actually managed to break into the house, he’d said. He hadn’t been able to explain the real reason—that it was a way to keep him out should he ever be the source of danger. Until he knew the truth about the old nightmares that had returned in full force, Marc preferred to keep that fear to himself.
Still, it was better to keep future bad guys out rather than worry about Mandy playing heroine. The locks on the bedroom door were for Marc’s peace of mind, but that thought slipped into the ether as Mandy twisted a bit in his lap and curled against his chest. The first movie ended but he didn’t get up to slip in another. Both their drinks were empty—they’d each quit after a second one—but he wasn’t willing to let this evening end.
He’d wanted to hold her since the first time he’d seen her—his best friend’s girlfriend’s roommate, the cute little barista with the perpetually optimistic outlook on life.
Except for today, when she’d confided in him. She hadn’t wanted anything but a hug, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t do something to help her out. Maybe she’d like to have her own coffee shop. One of the units on the bottom floor of his building was going to be empty in a few days. A coffee shop would work perfectly in there, but only if he could figure out a way to approach the subject without it sounding like charity.
That was the problem with having a shitload of money when your best friends were still earning their way. There was a fine line between helping, and looking as if you were trying to control things. He didn’t want to be that guy, but he did want to help.
He sat there a while longer, holding her. Realized it might be hard to explain if he fell asleep and they both woke up out here in the morning. It wasn’t worth the risk. He hadn’t had any blackouts for quite a few years now, but he wasn’t up to taking any chances. Not with Mandy.
He tightened his hold on her and stood with her in his arms. She blinked and focused on him as he walked with her around the room, turning out lights and checking the locks.
“What’cha doing?”
He kissed her forehead. Imagined tasting her lips instead. “Turning things off. Checking the locks. Making sure Rico’s dog door is unlocked. And then I’m carrying you into your bedroom so you can get some sleep. It’s late.”
“Oh. Okay.” Her arms went around his neck and she held on.
He got to Mandy’s room and shoved the door open with his hip, carried her to the bed, and carefully placed her in the middle. She sat up, blinking, still half asleep, her hair all tousled, full lips soft and inviting. Damn, she was sexy as hell.
Then she looked at him like a tiny waif, reached out, and took his hand.
“Stay with me tonight. Please? I don’t want to sleep alone.”
He hadn’t expected that. He sat on the edge of the bed. “Do you think that’s a good idea?” He hardened against his jeans. His cock thought it was an amazing idea. He’d managed to keep his arousal under control all evening long. One simple request from Mandy and he was glad he was wearing snug jeans that hid the evidence. He hoped.
She tilted her head and studied him. He met her gaze and held it, because there was nothing he wanted more than Mandy in his arms, no matter how bad a move it might be. His good intentions only went so far.
“Yeah,” she said. “I think it’s an excellent idea.” Then she frowned, but she looked so cute he almost kissed her. “Unless, of course, you’re not attracted to me.”
How could she possibly think something like that? He cupped her face in his hands and drew her close for a kiss. Of course, there was no reason to think otherwise. They’d lived two months in the same house and he hadn’t touched her, much less kissed her.
Their lips met and she tasted sweet, an alluring combination of the drink she’d had earlier and a flavor that had to be all about Mandy. Her lips were soft, parting just for him. The tip of her tongue touched his, and it was all the invitation he needed. Still holding her face, he explored the contours of her lips, the sharp edges of her teeth, swept into her mouth and tasted all of her. Her hands were in his hair, her fingers sliding from his neck to his crown and raising shivers along his spine. It was embarrassing, how quickly his good intentions shattered and fled.
As long as he left her satisfied and sleeping. That’s all that mattered. He couldn’t risk spending the night. It was too damned dangerous, but he knew there’d be no stopping now. Not tonight, no matter what he knew he should do.
Finally, when he was nowhere through with wanting the taste of her, Marc slowly ended the kiss. So caught up in the dazed look in Mandy’s beautiful brown eyes, in the soft sweep of her tongue as if she tested her lower lip and then the upper, searching for his taste, that it took him a moment to find his voice.
“I hope that takes care of any doubt about my being attracted to you. I swear, Mandy, you’re like a lodestone, drawing me to you no matter where you are, what you’re doing. From the first time I met you…”
She smiled, remembering. “That night Jake and Kaz got back, after Jake saved her from the kidnapper. You came over to go out to dinner with us. I’ll never forget the first time you walked in our front door.”
“Neither will I. When Kaz opened the door and invited me in, she introduced herself first and then Lola, but when you walked into the room…”
“You were the only one I saw.” Mandy’s eyes sparkled and he realized she was fighting tears. She reached for him, ran her fingers across his eyebrow, down the line of his jaw. “I already knew you.”
No, she didn’t. He would have remembered her. “How? I don’t remember. I would never have forgotten you.”
“I knew you, but you didn’t know me. This guy used to ride by the coffee shop when I was working, but it was years ago. I didn’t know who he was on an old beat-up Schwinn, but I’d watch him go by.” Laughing, she glanced sideways at him.
“I had an apartment out on Irving for a couple of years. Not far from the coffee shop. I was probably riding home from buying groceries. It was a while before I got around to buying a car.”
Mandy laughed. “Well, I thought this guy was so hot, and I wondered who he was. A couple of years later, I saw a picture of Marcus Reed in People magazine, an article naming him as one of the year’s ‘sexiest young multi-millionaires,’ and I thought he looked like the guy on the bike, but I figured Reed was really rich and wouldn’t ride an old Schwinn.”
She laughed self-consciously. “I cut it out, though.” Blushing, she lowered her head and covered her eyes. “It was on my bulletin board for a long time. I took it down when we met you so you wouldn’t see it and think I was some kind of crazy stalker, but I still wasn’t sure the guy on the bike was you. Then, when you moved in here, I saw you putting that old Schwinn in the garage. That’s when I knew for sure you were the one I’d had a crush on, and I wasn’t quite sure how to deal with it.”
He laughed and pulled her into his arms. “I will keep that bike until I’m old and gray. I paid for it myself, with money I earned tutoring kids in my computer class in high school. My first job.”
She gave him a deadpan look. “You’ve done well, Mr. Reed.”
“I’ve done okay. So, you thought I was hot, eh?”
She rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah.”
“I never knew.” He held her face in his hands, kissed her quickly, ending it before he got carried away. “Mandy, I’ve wanted you since the first time I saw you, but I can’t make any promises. There are things about me that you don’t know, that I’m not sure I’m ready to share with anyone, that…”
She covered his lips with her fingers. “It’s okay. We can do this and know that we’re friends, first. Nothing will hurt that, Marc. We won’t let it.”
“Do you think we can we do that?” He traced the line of her jaw with a single fingertip. “You’re special to me, Mandy.” He laughed, knew he sounded self-conscious, but didn’t try to cover it up. “More special than you can possibly know.”
She pressed her hand against his chest and her eyes twinkled. “Thank you. But I just had a thought that could screw up any plans we might be considering. I’m not using birth control, and I don’t have any condoms. Do you?”
He tried not to. There was no stopping it. The laughter exploded out of him, and once it started there was no stopping. At least not right away. When he finally got it under control, he was lying on his back on Mandy’s bed, staring into an expression he wished he could capture.
“Are you okay?” She tilted her head and stared down at him, but from the way her lips were twitching, she was fighting a smile. “I had no idea there was anything remotely funny about not having condoms.”
He re