Wednesday, November 23rd
Ruined my lips.
12:30pm
I re-read the moon in my hand.
While others may wish on a shooting star, it’s the moon that holds my dreams afar.
I clutch it to my chest and take a deep breath while trying to figure out why Aiden would’ve written that.
I grab my phone, look up the quote on the internet, and get no hits.
Did he make it up?
My mind wanders to my own wish in the moonlight.
I shake my head. It can’t be.
And if Aiden really did make a wish on the moon then it’s official.
Fate is a cold-hearted bitch just like Aphrodite.
If Aiden truly was my fate, then fate would’ve allowed us to meet later in life.
Under different circumstances.
When I had gotten my life back, or when I had finally accepted that I’d never get it back.
A morbid thought flits through my brain. That I might not be here later in life.
A big part of me wants to turn the car around and go back to Eastbrooke.
I look at my phone and consider calling him. Consider reading all of his texts. Listening to all of his voicemails.
Asking him why he wrote on the moon.
But I can’t.
I have to deal with Vincent first. I have to get my life back. And after that, I promised to give B a chance.
I need to forget about Aiden. Put Eastbrooke and the friends I made there behind me.
My leaving is for the best. For everyone’s best.
I’m just not sure what’s best for me.
I’ve been mulling over a lot of options. I’ve considered moving to my loft, getting my GED, and starting NYU in the fall. But that would mean hanging out with Jake and Dawson. It would mean coming in contact with new people. People who I couldn’t make friends with.
I quickly ruled out that option.
Besides, I’m not going back to my loft.
I can’t.
I’m pretty sure Aiden ruined it, just like he ruined my lips. I’ll put it on the market and forget about it too.
I run my hand over my new four-leaf clover necklace and say a little prayer.
My phone rings, so I stop praying and answer with a polite hello.
“Miss Monroe, this is Edward at Jet Co-op. Before you board, don’t forget to stop in the office and sign the new paperwork.”
“I won’t,” I say. But, obviously, I had forgotten.
I hang up and ask the driver to run me back to the office.
I get out of the car and pull my sunglasses over my eyes, partially to block the light and partially because I’m a little freaked out to even go inside. I’m worried Vincent sent my photo to every airport in America.
I put myself into my role. I’m not Keatyn Douglas who’s being stalked. I’m Keatyn Monroe who’s just an Eastbrooke student.
Was an Eastbrooke student, I think, suddenly fighting back tears.
I’m looking at the office building, but in my mind I’m seeing the beauty that is Eastbrooke. The gorgeous trees. The old brick buildings. The commons. The people. I’m really going to miss everyone. I hate that I didn’t give them proper goodbyes. I hate that I did that to them. And most of all, I hate that I’m reliving this moment again.
I was stupid to go to Eastbrooke. Anyone in their right mind should’ve seen the potential problems.
But we weren’t really in our right minds when we made the decision. We were scared.
And I’m done being that way.
It’s time to take control of my life.
It’s time to fight back.
I take a deep breath and breeze into the office like I don’t have a care in the world.
“I’m Keatyn Monroe.” I shake Edward’s hand and then review the contract for the many additional hours that I purchased on a whim a couple of days ago. That was when one of my options included me turning the tables on Vincent and stalking him.
I decided that might not be my smartest idea ever.
Besides, a new plan is starting to take root. Cooper and me on a farm in Iowa, way out in the country. Lots of acres where we can set up a firing range. A barn we can turn into a training facility. Maybe a few chickens, a cow, and a vegetable garden so that we would never have to leave. We could grow everything we eat.
Okay, maybe not. I don’t think I could kill a chicken.
Or a carrot.
I think I’d prefer to buy my food already dead.
I’ve thought about marrying Cooper. Going Amish.
Living out my life in hiding.
I’m also strongly considering faking my own death.
I’d hate to do that to my family but if I did, I could kill Vincent. My family wouldn’t have me, but they’d have their lives back. I could watch the girls grow up from afar.
Then, maybe I could become the CIA’s youngest operative. Cooper and I could travel the world and spy.
I bet he’d look damn hot in a tuxedo.
Oooh, I know. I’m going to watch Triple X on the plane.
Oh, the things I’m gonna to do for my country.
While Edward goes in the back to make a copy for my records, I hear two ladies at the next counter gossiping about who’s going to star in the next best-selling book turned movie.
One of them holds out a magazine. “Here, you can read this on your lunch break. Did you see the cover? I can’t believe how scary skinny Abby Johnston has gotten. People think it’s the stress of Tommy’s affair.”
“I wouldn’t care what Tommy did as long as I could get a piece of that fine man. I’m not greedy. I’d be more than willing to share,” she says with a chuckle.
“You’re bad.”
“But honest,” she says as she wanders off with her lunch bag. “Besides, I read that this morning.”
I wander over and help myself to a bottle of water from the self-service bar, glancing at the photo on the magazine.
I think back to Vancouver. I noticed Mom looked thin, but she looks even skinnier now.
I get my paperwork back from Edward, step outside, and call Tommy.
I’ll use this situation to set the first part of my plan in motion.
“I saw that magazine cover of Mom. She looks even thinner than she did at Gracie’s birthday party. I’m worried about her, Tommy.”
“I’m worried about her too,” Tommy replies. “This thing. The guilt. The fear. The lying. It’s eating her alive.”
“You’re almost done filming in Vancouver, right?”
“Yeah, we wrap up this week and then I’m scheduled to start Trinity 3: Retribution in New York with Matt.”
“And she’s supposed to start her publicity tour for To Maddie, with Love, right?”
“Yeah. That’s why she hasn’t been eating or sleeping. She’s so afraid that all the press and promotion will really send Vincent over the edge.”
“Cancel the tour. Break her contract. Pay them whatever you have to, Tommy. Get her out of it.”
“I’ve considered that.”
“You have to do more than consider it. You have to convince her. And I know you two don’t like to be apart, but you shouldn’t bring her and the girls to New York. Send them to France with James and don’t tell anyone. Lie. Say she’s sick. Say she’s in rehab. Hire a battalion to guard the grounds if you have to, but I know she’ll feel safe there.”
“She’s supposed to start another movie soon.”
“Get her out of that too. I’m going to start putting pressure on Vincent, and I need her and the girls somewhere safe.”
“What kind of pressure?”
“Financial pressure. I mean, I won’t be doing it personally, but, um, someone with like financial expertise will be. And that, combined with the timing of Mom’s release—well, we just don’t know how he’ll react. That’s why I really need them somewhere safe. Tommy, do you remember last spring when you asked me about a role in Retribution?”
“Of course. I was a little crushed when you told me you weren’t interested.”
“I was afraid I’d embarrass you. Will you tell me about the role?”
“An old enemy has you kidnapped and I go badass to save you. I want my last Trinity movie to be my best, and I just thought if you played my daughter, it would bring my feelings out more.”
“I love you, Tommy. I don’t tell you that enough, but I couldn’t ask for a better dad.”
“You mean stepdad?”
“No, I mean dad. And I know my real dad would be okay with me saying that.”
“That means a lot to me. I’m sorry how things went down at the house. The girls were so happy to see you.”
“I shouldn’t have surprised you like that. And, don’t worry; I won’t be seeing them again. Not until this is over. So, would I need to audition for the role?”
“Hypothetically speaking?”
“Yes.”
“You’d have to audition, but only as a formality. I had it all planned out so that you could shoot it over your Christmas break.”
I don’t bother telling him I’m not going back to school. Or that the timing is perfect, because I’ll be needing the spotlight about then.
“I want to do it.”
“I wish you could.”
“I’m working with Cooper on all of this. He says I can do it, and that he’ll make sure I stay safe,” I lie. Then I add sincerely, “It’d mean a lot to me, Tommy.”
“That would be amazing.”
“So you get Mom to France, and I’ll do the movie. Deal?”
“Baby, you’ve got a deal.”
Wash away the hurt.
1pm
As I get back into the car, I get a text.
Grandma: You’ve been asking a lot of questions about love and fate. Here’s what I believe. Fate brings people into your life, but it’s up to you to decide who gets to stay.
I shove my phone into my bag, wishing it were that easy, and head toward the plane feeling sad.
I’ll be fine once I get to the island. I’ll build sandcastles, watch the water wash them away, and know I made the right decision about both Aiden and Eastbrooke.
I’m hoping the water will wash away some of the hurt, too. So that all I’m left with is anger. Anger that I’ll direct towards Vincent until I destroy his life.
I take a step onto the plane, expecting to be greeted by my flight attendant.
Instead, I see Aiden and Peyton.
WTF!?
Doesn’t that boy ever freaking listen to me?
I stand in the doorway, arms crossed in front of me, shaking my head.
Because, no.
No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
As if it isn’t bad enough that Aiden is on my plane, he’s fist-bumping the pilots like he owns the place.
I study him closely. His bruises are almost gone. His hair is perfectly messy. His shoulders are back and confident.
He looks more like his old self.
Damn him.
But I guess it’s better than how he looked in the chapel and at the pep rally.
I close my eyes tightly, trying to forget, but knowing that in a few moments I’m going to make him look that way again.
Peyton sees me first, gives me an awkward smile, and brushes Aiden’s arm to get his attention.
He freezes while the pilots and attendant introduce themselves and then get to work.
Then he uses those damn tractor beams to hold my gaze as he walks across the plane. I couldn’t look away if I wanted to.
He grabs the crook of my elbow, causing me to jump, as he leads me to the back of the plane.
I’m pretty sure his touch was like a defibrillator, sending 360 joules of electricity straight to my heart.
Making it beat for him again.
Damn my traitorous heart.
Be strong, Keatyn. It doesn’t matter what your heart feels.
You have to use your head.
He thinks this is the big gesture.
And it is.
It so is.
I so want to jump into his arms.
Tell him I’m sorry.
Kiss every inch of his face.
But I can’t.
I squirm out of his hold but still end up trapped against the back wall. His tall, muscular chest is totally invading my personal space just like it did the first time I met him.
“You know you can’t come with me.”
He doesn’t respond.
Well, he does respond, but his response is to grab both my arms and pull me into a kiss.
A hard, possessive kiss.
A cotton-candy-has-filled-my-brain kiss.
I do everything in my power to remain stiff.
But I can’t.
Probably because of his godly love potion trickery.
And why the hell does he have to smell so good?
He pulls away, so I shake my head and start to speak.
But he stops me again with his lips.
After giving me another long kiss, he backs away slightly and cocks an eyebrow at me.
“You know you can’t—” I try to say.
Kiss.
“Stop th—”
Another kiss.
“I’m going to keep kissing you until you stop talking,” he tells me.
“But I—”
Kiss.
Ohmigawd, he is so frustrating.
“Aiden, but we already—”
His lips land hard on mine. Again.
And with every kiss, my resolve is weakening.
He stops kissing me and looks into my eyes.
I bite my lower lip to keep from saying anything else, while shaking my head, closing my eyes, and wishing I could close my ears.
Because I don’t want to hear what he has to say.
It was hard enough to hear it once. To end it once.
His face is way too close to mine. I can feel the stubble on his cheek. His breath on my neck.
His finger touching my lip.
“Does this mean you’re ready to listen?”
I shake my head no.
Because I can’t listen. I can’t hear it. It’s why I couldn’t listen to his messages or read his texts. I’m not strong enough.
He kisses my neck, causing my eyes to open in surprise. Then he bores those green eyes straight into my soul.
And his soul tells me the same thing it always does. That we should be together forever.
He breaks eye contact, holds his hands up, and says, “Boots, I give up.”
“Then why are you here?”
He kisses me again.
This time with his tongue. That love-potion-infused tongue that always renders me incapable of speech.
He should’ve just used it the first time.
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