A Thug's Heartbeat

by Niyah Moore

Genres: African American Urban

Synopsis

The streets pump blood through Rocko’s heart, but his women are the electricity that spreads and causes it to contract. Though he’s madly in love with his fiancée, Troi, he can’t keep his past mistakes with other women from catching up with him.
Troi is tired of Rocko’s constant lies and cheating ways, while Heather and Mai find being Rocko’s baby mamas come with more than they bargained for. Troi discovers she’s pregnant just as she’s wishing she could shake Rocko for the last
time. Things seem as if they can’t get any worse—until it’s revealed that Rocko has yet another baby mama who hid his child from him for twelve years.
Trying his best to stay out of prison for a murder he didn’t commit, he attempts to keep his baby mamas out of harm’s way while the streets want him, his children, and the women in his life dead! The most important goal to him is to marry Troi
once and for all, but she can’t seem to accept Rocko’s package, no matter how hard she tries.
Will Rocko be able to keep everyone safe and change his life for the better, or will the street jury find him guilty and take away everything?

Release date: December 6, 2021

Publisher: Urban Books

Print pages: 288

Sample

“Aye, yo, Rock, let me have your soups and shit,” my cellmate said.

“Go ’head. I said you could have ’em,” I replied as I threw my sack of noodles and other snacks at him. “I don’t need the shit no more. I’m out of here any minute.”

“Lucky-ass nigga. I wish I was going home. I can’t wait to get out. Thanks for looking out.”

“No problem. As soon as they call my name, I’m running up outta here.”

“I don’t blame you. You going back to what you know when you get out or what?”

That was a question I had asked myself. I had been in the Sacramento County Jail for nine months, and I couldn’t wait to get home. I had had a little over one ounce of weed on me when I was stopped for an illegal lane change, and the cop had decided to bust me for a probation violation. It was straight bullshit, because marijuana was legal in California, but he had said I had over the legal limit. With the cops riding my ass at every turn, it wasn’t going to be easy.

“I gotta do what I gotta do, but my girl say she leaving me if I come back here,” I replied.

“Well, you know I get out next month. I need to hit you up when I get out, if you still moving.”

“Do that.”

He got quiet for a few seconds before he said, “You know today is the anniversary of Greg’s murder, right?”

Was that today? I usually never let that slip my mind. I was so happy about getting out that I didn’t even trip off it. “Damn, man. That sure is today. Greg was my dog,” I said.

“He was mine too. I hate that we had to lose him like that,” Wes said as he hopped on the top bunk and lay down.

I bit down on the inside of my lip. Greg’s murder had been looming over my head like a bad dream for the past couple of years. I was with him the night he was killed. The cops wanted answers, and so did the streets. Everybody loved Greg. To the cops, you were guilty by association. In the streets, anytime anyone mentioned Greg, they mentioned me. I was trying to leave that nightmare in my past.

I had other things on my mind. I had two weaknesses, money and sex, and I was aware of the kind of trouble those two had brought me. Troi wanted me to get a job and to leave hustling alone. I wanted more than anything to give that to her, but it never was the right time to get out the game.

I took the pictures of my wifey and my daughter off the wall and put them in an envelope. My daughter was three years old, and although I hadn’t spent much time with her, I had thought a lot about how I hadn’t been involved enough in her life. For one, my woman didn’t know anything about her, and every time my mom or dad spent time with Niara, they reminded me of what I shitty father I had been.

“Cooper,” the CO called. “Let’s go.”

I stood up. “A’ight, Wes. Keep ya head up in here.”

“No doubt. You’ll see me out of here soon.”

“A’ight.”

I walked out of the cell and followed the CO out. The other inmates showed me love with head nods and daps. I got changed into the clothes I was arrested in. Then they handed me my package and my release papers. Once I stepped outside, the feeling of freedom swept over me. My dad was waiting for me when I walked out. He was an older, grayer version of me and the only man I had ever idolized. I frowned because I was expecting to see my woman.

He read my expression and replied, “Troi couldn’t get the time off work.”

“It’s all good. I’ll see her when she gets off.” I gave Pop a hug. “Good to see you, old man.”

“Old man? Nigga, I’m hardly old. I would’ve come to see you, but you know how I feel about this place.”

“I do. It’s good.”

I was happy to see my dad. He and my mom had divorced when I was two years old. Shortly after that, he had been sentenced to twenty years for first-degree armed robbery but had spent fifteen in Pelican Bay State Prison. He had never gone back after that.

He patted me on the back. “You got your weight up in that joint, I see.”

“Off top. You know ain’t shit to do up in there but read and work out.”

We walked to his Cadillac, which was parked up the street.

“I know you happy to be out,” he said.

“Hell yeah. I hate the fucking county jail.”

“Me too. I be like, ‘Send my ass to prison,’” he said and laughed.

“Dead ass.”

We got into his car. As soon as his door was closed, he said, “You know Mai had the baby while you was gone?”

I sighed. I now had two kids, and neither of them belonged to the woman I wanted to marry. “I know.”

“You plan on seeing your son?” Pop questioned.

No one knew I had a son except for my parents and my other baby mama. “One of these days. I gotta figure out a way to tell Troi first.”

“She’s going to be hot as fish grease when you do, and your ass is gonna burn. You don’t play with no woman.”

“I know it.”

“You tell her about Niara yet?”

“Nope. Not yet.”

“You really trying to keep them a secret, huh?”

“It’s not like that, Pop, and I know what you’re thinking. Troi is too classy for this ghetto shit. I can’t let her go, because she makes me want to be better. As soon as I tell her about my babies, she’s not going to want to be with me anymore.”

“I hear what you’re saying, but you shouldn’t be the kind of nigga to be a deadbeat, either. I didn’t raise you that way. I spent your childhood in prison, and I still handled mine. You would think you wouldn’t be doing what you doing after you watched me do my time.”

“I know. Being up in county had me thinking a lot about my kids, and about how much I missed you when you were gone. This week I’m going to see both. I promise.”

“That’s a good start. I like where your head is at.”

Pop drove away from the curb to take me to my house.

“You going back to hustling?” he asked.

I rubbed my chin. Truth be told, some of the money I had off to the side had gone to maintaining my mortgage and paying other bills while I was away, and so I needed to stack some more. As much as I wanted to live with Troi, she wasn’t ready for that. In the meantime, I had my own shit, and none of my bills were going to pay themselves.

“My peeps been moving this weed for me while I’ve been gone. I still got the connect in Humboldt, and I’m thinking about moving it to Texas.”

“I thought you were quitting all that?” he replied.

“I need to, but you know how that goes. It’s not the right time. As soon as I have enough saved to live good, then I’ll quit.”

“You’ve been talking about going legit for a while now. I think it’s time. Ain’t nothing in these streets but death, or you could end up going to prison.”

“Pop, I know, but what do I do when hustling is all I know?”

“You know I know about that, but at some point, you gotta do better. When you off probation?”

“I got three more months, and then I’m free, free.”

“That’s when the real party happens,” he said. “We gone have to do it big.”

“Off top.”

A few minutes later, Pop drove up to my crib. “All right, son. You take it easy. Hit me if you need me.”

“I will. Thanks for the ride,” I said as I got out of the car.

“Later.”

I walked up the walkway to my front door, unlocked it, and went inside. I smiled as I looked around, because Troi had made sure it stayed dusted and clean. I went to my bedroom and placed my phone on the charger. I needed to scrub jail off my skin, so I took a shower. As soon as I was out of the shower, my phone was pinging with alert after alert. I sighed when I saw it was nobody but Mai. I should’ve left her young ass alone, but she had kept throwing the pussy at me, enticing me with her fine ass. After a while, it was like my curiosity had got the best of me. Now we had a baby boy. Right before I’d got locked up, she’d told me she was pregnant.

I ignored her texts and calls because I was going to deal with her later. I called Troi instead.

She answered, “Hey, baby.”

“Hey, you couldn’t take time off work to pick your nigga up?” I asked before biting my lower lip.

“I had an important meeting at work, so that’s why I called your dad to get you. You home?”

“Yeah. Had to charge my phone. I just got out of the shower. What time you getting off?”

“I’m clocking out now.”

“You coming over here?”

“Yeah. I’m on my way. You want me to bring you something to eat?”

“The only thing I want to eat right now is your pussy.”

She laughed. “You know I can’t wait for that.”

“So, then hurry your ass up.”

She ended the call, and I fell back on my bed. I took in a deep breath and exhaled. It felt so good to be home. I was anxious to see my future wife. I had done a lot of dreaming about her when I was gone. By the time I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and watched a little ESPN, Troi was pulling up in my driveway.

As soon as she got to my door, I opened it and pulled her in by her waist. I didn’t hesitate to give her deep kisses on her neck, cheeks, and lips. Her skin was as smooth as honey, and she smelled just as sweet. I’d spent nine months away from her, and we had had no contact visits. My hands were full of all her juiciness, and my mouth was watering as I thought about how good she tasted.

“Damn, babes. I missed you,” I said in her ear.

“I missed you too, baby.” she moaned.

I took her shirt off and proceeded to remove her bra between kisses. We made a trail to my bedroom with our clothes.

For two hours, we made love, and afterward, we went to my favorite barbecue spot to eat. We enjoyed one another as we talked and ate. When we got back to my place, she pulled weed and swishers from her purse. She rolled a blunt, and we smoked in the living room. I put on an Amazon Prime movie, and we snuggled. The sun set before I knew it.

“You spending the night?” I asked.

“Yeah. I don’t want to leave you yet.”

“You should just quit playing and move in.”

“I told you already. We’re not moving in together until we’re married, and then we gotta get that condo I want in Elk Grove.”

“When we get married, I’ll buy you that condo, babes.”

“You ready to set a date?”

“I’ve been ready.”

My phone rang. I reached over to the coffee table and hit IGNORE on my phone’s screen because it was Mai. I knew why she was calling. She wanted to see if I was ready to see my son. I wasn’t ready, and I was going to deal with her when I was ready.

“Who’s that?” Troi asked.

“Business . . . I just got out, and I want to spend all my time with my baby. Business can wait.” I felt bad about lying, but I needed just a few more days to work some things out.

“I thought you said you was going to stop business once you got home.”

“I am, but it takes time. I gotta make sure I have enough dough to live off.”

“Well, as long as you don’t go back to jail, I’m good. I know you be about your money, so why should I complain? I know your heart,” she said before she kissed my lips.

“Why you saying that? You want a new bag or something?”

She laughed. “Don’t say it like that. Well, I did see this new Tory Burch bag and matching sandals.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. I think I need a gift for holding you down while you were away.”

I nodded. “I got you. I’ll take you to get it tomorrow.”

She kissed my cheek.

I lit another blunt. After the movie, we made our way back to the bed to go to sleep. She had to get up early for work, so I didn’t press her for another round of sex.

Close to midnight, my cell vibrated on the nightstand, jarring me awake. I grabbed the phone, and my eyelashes fluttered as I struggled to see who was calling. It was Mai again. I dropped the phone next to me, rolled over, and moved my leg out from under the sheet. The phone vibrated again, but I didn’t move.

“Rocko? Aren’t you going to answer your phone?” Troi asked.

I didn’t answer.

She sighed, reached over me, and snatched my phone. “Hello?”

I couldn’t act like I was worried, as I was conjuring up a lie to tell her.

Mai didn’t say anything before she hung up on Troi.

“Rocko? I know you’re awake,” Troi said.

“What?” I groaned.

“Who’s calling you at this time of night from an unsaved number?”

“Probably someone with the wrong number. Everybody I know is saved on my phone. Go back to sleep.”

My phone vibrated again, and Troi answered with more authority. “Hello?”

“Get Rocko,” Mai said. I could hear her through the phone.

“Who is this?” Troi quizzed.

“Mai.”

“Who?” Troi asked.

“Mai!”

“I don’t know no My.”

“Girl, you don’t need to know me. Put my baby daddy on the phone right now.”

“You must have the wrong number, because my man don’t have no babies.”

“He must not be your man, because you don’t know shit. He’s my baby daddy. Now, put him on the phone, bitch,” Mai growled.

Troi dropped the phone on my chest. “Rocko, your baby mama is on the phone.”

I pressed END on the screen, powered off the phone, and tucked it underneath my pillow. My heart was racing all the while. What could I say? I couldn’t think fast enough. Though this would’ve been the perfect time to come clean, I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

“Who’s Mai?” Troi asked as her chest started rising and falling.

“I don’t know. Go back to sleep,” was all I could say.

“Did you get one of these hoes pregnant again?”

“Again? You’re funny.” I tossed the pillow over my head with a chuckle.

I was trying to play this cool. The only thing I knew how to do was lie my way out of a situation like this. This wasn’t the way I wanted to come clean with her.

She punched the pillow and didn’t care if my face was underneath it.

I removed the pillow from my face and stared up at her as if she was crazy. “Hey, you need to chill. I’m trying to get some rest.”

“Fuck your rest. Why are you always doing this to me?”

“I’m not always doing anything to you.” I fluffed the pillow and rested my head on it.

She snatched it and hit me in the face with it, as if we were going to have a pillow fight.

I snatched it from her. “Quit playing, Troi.”

“I’m not playing with you, Rocko. I have no problem ending this right here, right now if you don’t start talking.”

I grunted but refused to speak about it.

“What about all that shit you talked about being honest and up front about everything once you got out of jail? You spent nine months away from me, and this is how you do me? Was she coming to see you?”

“Hell no!” I exclaimed.

“Liar! You want to marry me, yet you don’t like telling me what you really be out here doing. If you got somebody pregnant, just keep it real.”

“I didn’t get anybody pregnant. Somebody is playing on my phone.”

“And you don’t know why they’re playing on your phone? You really think I’m stupid, huh? I’m so done with your ass.”

She scooted away from me and pulled the sheet in order to drape more of it over herself.

I was pissed that Mai would say all that to Troi. Troi was the only woman I wanted, and Mai knew that.

I said a silent prayer to myself. I was going to have to fix this fast.

I fell asleep again, and when I awoke in the morning, I discovered, to my surprise, that Troi hadn’t left. I got up and showered. Troi did the same. She didn’t bring up Mai, and neither did I. Actually, we barely said good morning to one another; it was almost as if we were afraid to start another argument.

I kissed Troi on her way out the door.

“Have a good day at work, babes,” I said.

“Thanks. You have a good one as well.”

I wat. . .