PRAISE FOR THE AUTHORS OF
ALSO BY A. L. JACKSON
behind her eyes
prologue
Misha hugged herself around her middle. Chills raced down her spine and crystallized the blood in her veins. She felt sick. So sick. Tears streamed from her eyes fast and hard, dripping from her chin as she bent at the waist and cried toward the ground. As she stood in the front yard of his house, confronting him with the video she’d found, her body trembled with a shock of grief. “How could you do this to me?”
Hunter laughed, a sound of insult as it rumbled up his throat and passed through the smug smile curling his lips. He inclined his head to capture her attention up from her own feet. Like a deer blinded by the light, she froze, locked in the clutches of the blue gaze she’d once thought so tender and kind. Now those eyes simmered with derision.
“Knew you had it in you, Misha.” His voice raked the taunt, cutting her deeper with each biting word. “The good girl act . . . I saw right through it. You’re just as easy as the rest of the sluts around here, aren’t you?” His face twisted with morbid satisfaction. “Of course that amazing fuck was worth the hundred dollars I had on the line.”
“A h-h-h-hundred dollars?” She stuttered over the question, her tongue thick as she tried to force the words around the shame clogging her throat. Confusion and disbelief spun with the heartbreak. Her knees went weak.
Hunter moved closer, his nose an inch from hers. “A h-h-h-hundred dollars?” he mocked, pouring salt into her oldest wounds.
Misha sucked in a pained breath and squeezed her eyes shut.
“What? Do you think you’re worth more than that?”
Misha recoiled from the insult.
He might as well have slapped her.
He’d already ruined her life.
Abruptly he straightened and took two steps back. “Because you’re not.” He released a lazy chuckle, casually running a hand through his blond hair like she meant nothing at all. Then he turned and left her there.
The sob she struggled to hold in broke free, and Misha stumbled over the patchy lawn as heartbreak tore through her.
Betrayal and humiliation penetrated all the way to her bones. Horror flamed her heated cheeks, streams of tears flowing like a river of fire scalding her flaming flesh. But this heat was nothing like the blush that kissed her skin with shyness, the way the crimson colored her face when the slightest bit of attention was cast on her.
No.
Because this? This was anguish.
Misha couldn’t fathom the viciousness, couldn’t comprehend that one person could be so cruel. She’d believed he’d cared about her. Loved her. He’d promised her she was everything.
Turned out she was just a pawn in some sick, twisted game.
chapter one
Misha
Three months later
What am I doing here?
I looked up at the dusty blue two-story house—the house I’d shared with three other girls, Indy, Courtney, and Chloe, during my sophomore year. Nostalgia billowed through me on a soft wave. I’d loved so much of my time here, learning how to spread my wings, to fly on my own without the shelter of my parents, who’d made it their lifelong duty to protect me from the vile dangers of this world.
My head shook with remorse. It hadn’t taken me long to be ensnared in its traps, had it?
After Hunter’s betrayal, I’d run straight home to Wisconsin and right into my mother’s waiting arms. Completely crushed. I’d sworn to never return here, too ashamed to be seen walking the halls of the university I’d attended in Ann Arbor, Michigan, since my freshman year of college.
Summer had passed in some kind of blur, my heart searching for a way to mend after it had been shattered beyond recognition. No longer did I fully recognize myself. The endless smile was wiped from my mouth and the naive trust I’d held in this world disintegrated into nothing.
But here I was, back in Michigan, standing in the driveway of the house I shared with my roommates. As much as I didn’t want to look, I couldn’t stop my gaze from wandering, latching warily on to the dingy white house next door.
Nausea pooled in my stomach as my eyes were drawn up the side of the house to the last window on the second floor. Behind that window was the room where I’d given Hunter my innocence. My hand fisted at my side, all of me protesting that thought. No. Where Hunter had stolen my innocence. Behind that window was where he’d hurt me, humiliated and shamed me.
For all my life I’d seen the best in people. My mother had always told me it was what made me who I was, why I glowed and smiled and shed a radiant light on the rest of the world. She said it was what made me good and begged me to never let it go.
Hunter taught me it just made me a fool.
“There you are.”
Tearing my eyes away, I turned to Indy as she stepped out onto the front porch of the house. Red hair whipped around her face, green eyes watching me where I stood at the end of the walkway.
“It’s about time you got here. It’s Happy Hour and we’re making drinks. Get your ass inside.”
I felt the heat rush to my face, and I chewed at my bottom lip, grabbed the two suitcases I’d taken from my car, and began to haul them behind me.
Happy Hour.
Ha.
I hadn’t truly been happy since I left this place three months ago.
Junior year started in just three days. I didn’t think I’d be a part of it, resigning myself to giving up my dreams and transferring to a small school in Wisconsin, never turning back. Indy had convinced me I was wrong. She’d been betrayed, too, her jerk of a boyfriend hurting her, and she needed me back in the house. Just as much as I needed to be here.
I’d missed it. Now that I was here, I could admit that I knew I didn’t want to run away. By my doing so, all I had accomplished was allowing Hunter to win his nasty game.
He’d stolen something precious from me. I wouldn’t let him steal the internship I’d worked so hard for, too. Helping the kids there was the most important thing in my life, the one true thing that had called me back to Michigan. I couldn’t rid those innocent little faces from swirling through my mind, those little kids being the ones I planned on dedicating my life to.
No, I wouldn’t allow him to steal them, too.
The final key had been Indy telling me Hunter had been booted from the house next door, voted out when his three roommates found out he was the one who’d been responsible.
My heart warmed in a way I thought was no longer possible. I still couldn’t believe they’d taken up my side, supported me after I’d been so gullible.
It didn’t mean I loved the idea of someone else there, living in that room where I had been played like a cheap, worn-out piano.
Condemned.
That was what I wanted it to be. The room should be taped off and boarded up so no one could enter its repulsive walls. Even better, pummeled into a million tiny pieces by a wrecking ball. Maybe then the memory of what had happened there would be pulverized along with it.
I knew he would still roam the campus, that some people would think me someone I was not, that there would be times when I’d bear the brunt of the curse he’d cast on me. But I took comfort in knowing I wouldn’t have to witness that same smug, self-satisfied expression he’d looked at me with when I confronted him, when he laughed and mocked me, tossing me aside like a piece of trash.
Never again would I allow myself to fall prey to a guy like that. Lesson learned—the hard way.
I ascended the five wooden steps to the covered porch, my suitcases bouncing as I dragged them up behind me. I let them go and hugged Indy.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” she whispered near my ear.
I squeezed her tighter, sad the two of us were sharing in some kind of brokenhearted kinship.
“I’m so sorry to hear about Dean,” I mumbled into her shoulder.
“Me, too.” She pulled away, swiping away a tear. She gestured toward the door. “Come on, let’s get your stuff inside and then we need to catch up.”
I followed her through the front door. Inside, the main room was cramped with three couches. We spent a lot of time here, watching TV, lounging, and talking, sometimes studying, and this was where our friends hung out when they came over.
One of our other roommates, Chloe, sat on one of the couches, typing furiously on her laptop. She glanced up, squealed when she saw me in the doorway. “You’re back!”
She set her laptop aside and hopped up to welcome me.
I hugged her. “Thanks for letting me come back.”
“Pshh . . .” She smiled a playful smile, waves of her short blond hair swishing around her face. “Like we wanted to go through the trouble of looking for a new roommate.”
Courtney, the last of my roommates, ducked her head through the opening to the kitchen. “Misha’s back!” Her statement was no question, but tossed out in a loud greeting. “You don’t know how glad I am that Indy was able to drag you back here where you belong.”
There was no question they were working to play it light, to pretend like this heaviness didn’t surround me, like tears wouldn’t fall at the drop of a dime or at the mention of his name.
“I’m glad to be back,” I forced myself to say, doing my best to make it the truth. I smiled softly at them all. “I’m going to go upstairs and get settled.”
Courtney nodded. “Just let us know if you need anything. Indy and I are making drinks. We require your presence in . . .” She studied her watchless wrist. “Oh . . . two point five minutes.”
I giggled, feeling another flare of redness seep to my cheeks, and I self-consciously blew back a thick black curl that had fallen in my face. “How about five?”
“Deal.”
I headed upstairs. On each side of the hall were two doors, four bedrooms taking up the second floor. Straight back at the end of the hall was a bathroom and a door to the side that led up to the open attic. We’d stuffed it full of pillows of every size, the floor just one huge, soft, squishy mess. I loved to escape to its quiet sanctuary, to maybe get lost in a book, to set myself free in my imagination.
After Hunter, I was sure I’d be hiding out up there a lot, stowed and locked away from all the things I didn’t want to face.
Sadness swallowed me when I opened the second door on the right and let myself into my small room. Everything was how I’d left it, minus the pictures I’d torn from the walls and the belongings I’d shoved into plastic bags that night three months ago when I left as quickly as I could, completely broken and having no clue how I’d go on, sure I would never come back to this place I loved.
Standing in the silence of my room, I made a resolution that I now would go on.
And I’d never allow myself to be so vulnerable again.
chapter two
Misha
Sucking in a steadying breath, I hiked my backpack higher up on my shoulders. My hand fluttered on the front doorknob. The cool metal beneath my palm passed through me like some kind of warning I couldn’t shake.
My first class of the semester started in an hour. I knew I had to make it out this door, hold my chin up, and face the world that I . . . well . . . the world I really didn’t want to face.
But I hadn’t come back here to be a coward, to become some kind of pathetic, reclusive girl who holed herself up in her room like I’d been doing since I came back to this house three days ago. I hated feeling like this, my heart all twisted up in my ribs, pounding so hard I was pretty sure I could see it beating under my shirt. Nerves wobbled my legs, my breaths heaving as they panted in and out of my parted lips.
I can do this.
I forced myself to turn the knob and stepped out onto the covered porch. The soles of my shoes thudded on the wooden floor, echoing as I propelled myself across the deck.
I can do this, I chanted over and over, my lips moving without sound as I studied my feet.
At the edge of the porch, I stepped down onto the top step and into the light. The light I hadn’t seen in days, my blinds drawn and my room cloaked in shadows for too long, the overbearing darkness filling me with melancholy and fear and questions of whether I really should have returned.
Now rays of shimmering sunlight beat down, wrapping me up in a soft hug of warmth, embracing my pale skin. Goose bumps lifted on my arms as the days I’d spent in dread seemed to clash with the greeting of the sun.
I lifted my face to the sky, my eyes dropping closed as I relished the sweet feel of the cool breeze and warm sun that tickled gentle fingers of comfort across my face.
And I stood in awed welcome of the day.
Winter would be here soon enough, ushering in the cold. This beautiful day was a stark reminder that I couldn’t allow Hunter to steal the best of life from me. Hiding in my room just meant I was again allowing him to take another piece of myself by giving in to the worry and questions.
I pulled the deepest breath into the well of my lungs. Clean, crisp air filled me up like a soothing balm that could be inhaled, a tangible solace that could be tucked somewhere deep inside myself, becoming a vital piece of who I was.
Something I hadn’t felt in so long stirred in my heart. A swirl of joy blossomed in my belly, sending a swell of appreciation right along with it. A feeling that everything might just be okay quietly slipped through my body on a hushed wave.
“I can do this,” I whispered again, only this time I uttered it aloud, the encouragement ringing through my ears to give a boost of confidence to my downtrodden spirit.
This time I believed it.
Slowly my eyes blinked open to the bright blue canopy above, and I shook myself off, skipped down the steps. I headed down the walkway leading away from the house, my face downturned and focused on my white canvas shoes.
Awareness prickled along my spine, lifting the hairs at the nape of my neck. On its own accord, my head drifted to the side where the upheaval of energy radiated, barreling into every last one of my senses.
I slowed to a stop.
It was doubtful anything in this world could have forced me to keep walking.
My lips parted in surprise, and a little “Oh” dropped from my mouth. My heart stuttered and all the heat of the sun landed square on my face, my cheeks flaming so hot I felt it burn somewhere in my stomach.
In the driveway next door sat a car I’d never seen before, one I didn’t recognize, one there was no question I would have remembered had it ever appeared in my sight. It was completely blacked out . . . all of it . . . the windows and the wheels and the body. It looked fast and dangerous and set off all kinds of bells in my head, every last one of them screaming a blaring warning.
Trouble.
But the car wasn’t what had me trapped. It was the guy tucked under the hood, hovering over the powerful engine, who had frozen me to the spot. The guy braced the wide span of his arms over the entirety of it, holding himself up and craning his head to the side as he stared across the short distance at me. The shaggy thatch of dark brown hair that flopped over his forehead did nothing to obstruct the unsettling intensity of his hazel eyes. Even in the space between us, I knew they were mostly green, but the sun caught flecks of gold that made them seem to glimmer with mischief.
He was wearing nothing but a pair of snug-fitting jeans, his strong chest and arms bare, the sheen of sweat covering it glistening in the sun, just enough to accentuate every ripple of muscle he had exposed.
Oh. My. God.
I chewed at my lip and attempted to look away, but my gaze was all tangled with his, locked up and wrenched tight with the eyes that seemed to be holding all of my functions hostage—eyes that were narrowed and burning with curiosity.
A lump grew in my throat.
Did he recognize me?
Shame scorched me all the way to my core.
Still I couldn’t look away.
Without taking his gaze from me, he pulled himself from under the hood. He grabbed a rag as he propped his hip up on the edge of his car, meticulous as he began to wipe the grease from his hands.
Seconds passed, or maybe hours, I wasn’t sure, everything a blur as my body waged a war with my mind, every rational thought I had sent to slay the fearful fascination this stranger sent speeding through my veins. Just looking at him had set the million butterflies that had lain dormant in my stomach scattering. They fluttered fast, teasing me with the unwanted attraction my traitor body was giving in to with just a glimpse of a cute boy.
Cute boy.
Ha.
This guy . . . man . . . whatever you wanted to call him . . . wasn’t cute.
He looked like some sort of avenging angel. Too beautiful to be real. Maybe he was here to collect my soul, to make me pay for the sins Hunter had led me into.
Those butterflies dipped and dove when he spoke, his voice deep and rough, no doubt created for the sole purpose of enticing guileless girls into temptation. “So, are you just going to stand there and stare at me all day, or are you going to introduce yourself?”
Flustered, I shook my head, blinking as I took a stumbling step away from him, my mouth dropping open just a little more.
I spent a dumbfounded moment trying to process his words.
Did he really just say what I think he did?
What an arrogant jerk.
“I think you have a little something . . . right here,” he continued. With his index finger, he tapped at the cocky, curled-up edge of his lips, teasing me as he wiped the imaginary drool from the corner of his mouth. His taunting touch left behind a smudge of grease on his gorgeous face.
Dirty.
That thought ratcheted up my confusion a thousandfold, just like that wrench he’d been wielding against the bolt in the engine of his car. I was pretty sure this guy could twist me so tight he’d strip me bare.
I’d been screwed enough. Not again.
“Y-y-you were looking first,” I stammered over the lame defense, my voice strained and sounding a little too much like a petulant child’s.
Damn it! He had me hot and bothered in places I didn’t even know existed.
His head tipped to the side, tossing locks of his dark brown hair around his face. Then he shrugged. There was nothing I could do to stop my eyes from traveling to the defined planes of his chest.
I swallowed hard and tried to get my bearings.
Oh man, oh man, oh man. Not good.
It was like the bait that lured prey to the sharp teeth of a trap, too tempting to resist. Everything about the movement was predatory.
I could almost smell him, all man and grease and sex.
“So what if I was?” he asked, nonchalant, that rough voice tossing the contention out without the slightest hint of shame. He cocked an eyebrow as his eyes made a slow pass down my body.
I almost gasped in relief when he released me from the chains of his stare. Of course, he just dragged his attention right back up, and those searing eyes made me their prisoner again.
“You did look at yourself in the mirror this morning, didn’t you? You can hardly blame me.”
Redness bloomed hot and fast, and I let my hair fall in my face, obstructing the reaction I had to this boy.
Er . . . man or god or whatever he was.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.
I refused to take his grimy come-on as a compliment.
I wanted to stomp my foot and tell him so. Instead I just stood there with my mouth still hanging open like some kind of blubbering fool.
He pushed himself from his car.
Panic thudded my pulse.
I wasn’t sure I could handle this guy getting any closer than he already was.
His expression shifted again, his head steadily drifting to the side as he approached, like he was doing his best to dig around in my thoughts.
I wasn’t letting him go there. Instead I dug around in myself for courage, lifting my trembling chin as if I were brave instead of the shivering coward I felt like.
“Do you really need an introduction?” I asked with almost a sneer. “Figured you’d already know who I am.” Spitting out those words took up the last of my pride, and I was suddenly feeling like a fraud, saying things like someone I was not. My eyes flew to the ground, and I studied a weed growing up through a crack in the pathway as I said a silent prayer that he didn’t know. Obviously I didn’t want anyone to know, this blight something I wished I could obliterate from history.
But him?
Something inside me twisted. I would do anything to be spared that humiliation.
I peeked up through the veil of my hair when I noticed him gesture behind me. That mischief was back in his eyes, only this time it was lighter, like their potency was no longer a threat. He grinned. “I’m no genius, but based on the fact that you just came out of that house wearing a backpack on the first day of classes, I’m going to go out on a limb and say you’re one of my new neighbors.”
He’d turned casual, which was about the last thing I was feeling.
“But do you know my name?” I demanded, my hand curling into a fist at my side.
Do you know my face? was what I was really asking, almost begging him to relieve me of the burden.
“Well, let’s see . . . Kier filled me in on all the neighbors.” He lifted his gaze to the sky, as if he were thinking back to their conversation.
Kier was one of the guys who lived next door, quiet, nice. I’d always liked him. I was close to feeling relieved, because I felt almost positive he wouldn’t divulge my secret.
New guy raised his hand and lifted his index finger. “Chloe.” He held up a second. “Indy.” He continued on, checking off all of us girls. “Misha and Courtney.” A smirk twisted up one side of his mouth. “Guess I’d feel pretty confident betting on the fact that you belong to one of those names.”
Discomfort shifted my feet, and I finally forced my name around the lump this guy had seemed to permanently wedge at the base of my throat. “M-M-Misha.” I tucked an errant curl blowing around in my face behind my ear, my nod shy and unsure. “I’m M-M-Misha. Misha Crosse.”
His eyes narrowed again, studying. Then he shook his head, raking his plump bottom lip between his teeth. He freed it with an easy smile.
Dear Lord.
“Darryn. Darryn Wild.” He stuck his hand out between us. I eyed it warily. Those bells were ringing. Don’t touch. Off-limits. Danger.
But he was smiling this cute smile, and my hand tingled, twitching toward his. What could a handshake hurt?
“Oh, come on, Misha, I know you want to touch me.” This time, he didn’t touch the corner of his mouth but reached out to touch mine.
Shivers raced down my spine and sent something tumbling around in my stomach that I didn’t want to recognize, and I prayed another prayer that the drool he lifted from my face was imaginary, too.
At this point, I wasn’t so sure.
Fantastic. The guys next door had just traded one asshole for another. And to think for a second I’d almost been duped into thinking he was nice.
I didn’t like it, didn’t like thinking this jerk was sleeping in Hunter’s room, didn’t like his things there or his thoughts there or his ripped, muscled body stretched out like Satan’s seduction across that bed.
And I really couldn’t stand the cocky grin that was playing all over one side of his perfect mouth.
But mostly I just hated that he managed to make me feel this way.
One of these days I was going to learn to trust my instincts. I’d had them that night with Hunter, this feeling sparking inside me, alerting me that something was off.
No day like the present.
“You wish,” I spat at him, doing my best to sound intimidating and not like some scared little creature who wanted to find a rock to hide behind.
My eyes made a pass over the yard, wishing that overnight a huge boulder had miraculously been dropped into our yard.
Nope.
No such luck.
He laughed, the sound thick and throaty and arrogant. Part of me wanted to smack him, while the other part wanted to beg him to do it again.
Damn it!
Damn him.
“I wish, huh?” He eyed me up and down. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
I huffed, and he chuckled again.
Refusing to submit myself to his torture any longer, I turned and stomped away, scolding myself under my breath. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” I ranted, my lips moving silently as I pounded down the sidewalk toward campus. Mounds of curls bounced angrily around my face as I left Darryn Wild staring behind me. “I hate boys,” I muttered hard. “Jerks. Every last one of them.”
I was so angry he’d managed to make me stutter and stumble all over myself.
It didn’t matter if he was the prettiest thing I’d ever seen.
No way, not a chance.
I’d been there before.
And I wasn’t about to go there again.
chapter three
Darryn
I couldn’t wipe the smile from my face as I watched her storm away. Thick, heavy black curls bounced all around her shoulders and down her back, her little hands twisted up in the tightest fists at her sides.
Like a feisty little kitten with a cute button nose and wide curious eyes, skittish and scared and completely naive.
Pretty sure I could have said boo and she would have run.
I chewed at my lip, fighting the grin.
Yeah, I knew her.
Knew her face and her name and that fucking incredible body, all curvy and full and just about the most damned perfect thing I’d ever seen.
Why I lied when she’d asked me such a pointed question, I didn’t know. I knew exactly what she’d been referring to, that video I’d been trying to get off my mind for the last month. But it was like she’d been pleading with those huge, hopeful eyes—brown eyes so dark they were nearly as black as her hair—to spare her, like a lie would be so much easier than the truth.
Or maybe it was because she was nothing like I expected. I expected some raving hot bitch, all sass and sex and mile-long legs, with pouty full lips and vacant black eyes.
What I wasn’t expecting was a girl who blushed so red I was pretty sure she was going to incinerate with just the slightest hint of attention. Didn’t expect a girl who stuttered over her own damned name.
God, I’d just spent the last five minutes being a total ass to her, egging her on, but I couldn’t help it. Every time she blushed, my dick stirred to life and my heart pounded a little too hard, this girl some kind of sweet contradiction, all sexy and shy and so damned adorable I wanted to wrap her up in my arms and never let her go. Couldn’t tell if I wanted to haul her off to snuggle up on the couch or tear all her clothes from her and teach her every dirty trick I knew.
But it became clear really fast.
This girl didn’t do dirty.
For a fleeting second, my eyes shot up to the room I’d rented out when Hunter was canned. Yeah. I knew him, too.
Anger spiked deep in my gut, and I sucked in a breath as I turned back to the curly mane of black stalking away from me, no doubt still cursing my name.
Hunter.
I was hit with the intense need to take the asshole out.
He needed to pay for treating a girl as sweet as Misha the way he had.
Guilt reared its ugly head, sneering at me, reminding me I was just as bad as the rest of them.
How many times had I fantasized about kissing the hell out of that pouty mouth? About my hands palming her hips while she rode me, her hair falling over her shoulders, just brushing over her full tits as I looked up at her while she drove me right out of my mind with pleasure?
Misha peeked back at me, her eyes going wide when she caught me still s
We hope you are enjoying the book so far. To continue reading...
Copyright © 2024 All Rights Reserved