When Perfection Fails

Book 0: Victory Gospel

by Tyora Moody

Genres: African American; African American Christian; Christian Fiction

Synopsis

Reverend Jonathan Freeman and his wife Lenora are quickly becoming Charlotte's "it" couple. All eyes are on them as Jonathan is named pastor of a church following the death of his father, and Lenora has become a sought-after wedding planner. The Freemans are media darlings and a model couple; the picture of perfection. Or are they? Behind the scenes, Jonathan struggles with his role as pastor of a mega-church, while Lenora grows increasingly and uncharacteristically distant. A number of odd and tragic incidents push her further away from the love of her life, and the façade of perfection begins to crack. A carefully guarded secret threatens Lenora's security, as well as that of her family. Has an imperfect past finally caught up with her? Will an issue she thought long dead rise like Lazarus from the grave and destroy all she has worked to preserve, or will Lenora fight to protect the man she loves and the beautiful life God has blessed her to have?

Release date: March 1, 2014

Publisher: Urban Christian

Print pages: 288

Sample

Charlotte, North Carolina, 2013

Lenora Freeman peeked out from under her wide brim black hat and studied her husband’s face. Pastor Jonathan Freeman’s handsome face was not as strained as it was earlier. Many members of the congregation had come up to her commenting on how eloquently the pastor delivered the eulogy. Jonathan’s voice had flowed out over the congregation in a graver tone compared to his usual Sunday banter, but his baritone voice was strong and filled with constrained emotion.

When she heard the skip in his voice, she held her body stiff until Jonathan composed himself. Then she pulled a tissue from her purse to blot the tears that had leaked from her eyes. Lenora had focused on her husband’s grief so much these past few days, it hadn’t occurred to her how devastating this loss was for her too.

She shifted her eyes to the portrait of the longtime pastor of Victory Gospel Church, Jeremiah Freeman. Usually the portrait hung on the wall outside the pastor’s office, but today, it sat on an easel. Members of the church and the nearby community came out in large numbers to the funeral and the cemetery. Now crowds of people gathered in the Victory Gospel Center to fellowship and support the Freeman family.

While Jonathan had served as interim pastor of Victory Gospel for almost two years now, there was still pain in knowing Pastor Jeremiah would no longer preach another sermon or grace their presence. She knew how much Jonathan loved his father, and stepping into the spotlight to take over this massive church had not come without sacrifice.

She would certainly miss “Papa” Jeremiah. He was so much more to her than a father-in-law; more like the father she never had. He loved and accepted her. She almost wished it wasn’t him in that casket today.

Lenora quickly asked the Lord for forgiveness. She glanced across the center’s fellowship hall to where Eliza Freeman sat surrounded by other mothers of the church. After twenty years of marriage to Jonathan, Lenora had since given up on a relationship with her mother-in-law. No woman would have been good enough for Eliza’s only child. When Pastor Jeremiah was alive, his quiet charm would soothe Eliza’s sharp tongue. Lenora smiled, remembering that look he would give his wife when he was ready for her to stop talking.

She sighed. Maybe grief would soften the old woman. Lenora peeked over at Eliza again, observing how her black hat fit with a black veil covering her eyes. She knew her mother-in-law was truly grieving, but she couldn’t help but think how much Eliza enjoyed the attention. Lenora may have been officially the first lady of Victory Gospel, but she knew Eliza flourished as the center of attention and was not too eager to retire from the role she held almost twenty-five years.

Lenora turned away and found her husband’s eyes on her. She smiled at him, but he didn’t return the smile. His eyes were slightly glazed over from grief and exhaustion. She had left his side to look for their sons, Keith and Michael, who both seemed to have gone missing in action after they returned from the cemetery. Of course, in the midst of her looking, she was stopped by many church members and funeral attendees.

She never did find either of her sons. The boys, now almost grown men, would be dealt with later. Lenora moved through the crowd to return to Jonathan. As she glided through the crowd, smiling and greeting people, two young children bumped into her. The children’s mother touched Lenora’s arm. “Mrs. Freeman, I’m so sorry.”

Lenora waved her away. “It’s okay. Let the children be children.”

As Lenora continued walking toward her husband, she stopped and turned as if someone was calling her. No one had called her name, but she felt as if someone was trying to get her attention. She looked around and as if time had stopped, her eyes focused on a man. He was looking in her direction.

Lenora sensed people passing her. She smiled absently at the passersby as a memory clung to the edges of her mind. Where had she seen this man before?

Pastor Jeremiah’s funeral brought a diverse crowd from all walks of life, but she couldn’t figure out if the man was biracial or a tanned white man. He was average height, with a very low buzz cut, and he had no facial hair. Lenora had to be about twenty feet from him, but she was struck by his pale, intense eyes.

Lenora’s breathing turned shallow. One thing she hated more than anything in the world was to sweat. She felt beads of sweat above her lip and around the edge of her hat. Lenora pressed her French-manicured fingernails into her hands as a wave of nausea swept over her. She broke her stare and looked away. A memory from long ago flashed in her mind, but she couldn’t grasp the image.

Where had she seen him before?

Lenora’s mind went to focus on the man, but he was no longer there. She looked to the right, and then to the left to see where he had gone. Her eyes found the strange man as he slipped out of the Victory Gospel Center’s side entrance leading into the parking lot.

Forgetting that she was supposed to be returning to Jonathan’s side, Lenora stepped around a group of ladies and headed toward the exit where the man had left. She didn’t know why she was compelled to follow the stranger, but her gut was churning with nervousness. She just had to know his identity.

Lenora pushed the side entrance door open and stepped out onto the sidewalk. She looked to the left, and then to the right. Where did he go? The sun was making its descent for the day. She held her hands above her eyes to squint into the massive parking lot. There were people standing around, but she couldn’t tell if any of them were him.

Nobody can just disappear into thin air.

Lenora jumped out of the way as the side door was opened by some teenagers. She noticed one of the teens was her youngest son, Michael. Before she could call out her son’s name, something buzzed against her side. Lenora opened the black clutch pocketbook she had strapped around her shoulder and pulled out her phone. Someone was texting her, but she didn’t recognize the phone number.

The message that displayed on the phone’s screen made her already upset stomach churn again. She clutched the top of her shirt in her fist as she reread the message.

A wave of fear swept over Lenora. Who sent this message to her? Is this some kind of joke?

She searched the parking lot again for the man. Why did she think he was responsible for sending the text? He had been staring at her like he could see right through her. While she was trying to figure out the man’s identity, she wondered why he chose to make such a hasty exit.

Grief and exhaustion from the past few days were probably influencing her thoughts. She looked down at the phone again. The message was real. She definitely was not losing her mind.

“Mom, are you okay?”

Michael had walked over to her and touched her shoulder. Lenora looked at her son, and then his friends, who were peering at her with curiosity. She looked down and unclenched her fist. Goodness, she didn’t realize she had been clutching her shirt over her heart, bringing attention to herself. She felt ashamed of how she must have appeared to her son’s friends.

She grabbed Michael’s hand and in a quiet voice she responded, “I’m fine, honey. Why don’t you check on your father? Tell your friends you will see them tomorrow.”

The concern in her usually quiet-mannered son’s eyes shook her, but she straightened her shoulders and smiled. “I’m okay. Really.”

She watched Michael walk over to his friends. They all shuffled one after the other through the Victory Gospel Center’s side door.

Lenora looked out over the parking lot before looking down at the message again. She prayed this was someone’s crazy idea of a prank. Why today as she grieved her father-in-law’s home going would someone send her a message that more grief was to come?

No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper.

Jonathan let out a deep sigh and rubbed his hands across his chiseled beard. His mother seemed to be handling things as she always did with her usual grace. Mother Eliza had shaken every hand and accepted every hug. Now she sat with old friends, smiling and laughing. She didn’t appear too heartbroken that they had just buried his father, but then again, his dad had been sick so long, it was inevitable. Still, the experience of seeing his father take his last breath caused Jonathan’s heart to sink.

“Dad?”

Lost in his own thoughts, he jumped slightly at the touch on his shoulder. He turned to see his youngest son standing over him.

“Mikey.” Jonathan looked around his son. “Where are Keith and your mother?” Jonathan thought he saw Lenora a few minutes before coming toward him, but then she disappeared in the crowd. As much as he loved the church’s support, he was really ready to go home. Dad’s death the day after Easter had left Jonathan with no time to rest this week.

“She’s outside.” Michael shrugged his shoulders. “I guess she’s coming in.”

Jonathan didn’t have long to wait as his beautiful wife’s face appeared. As Lenora approached them, he thought her face looked especially troubled. Grief? He frowned as he watched how Lenora twisted her hands. He hadn’t seen her do that in a long time. The girl he met in college was shy and quiet, often looking down and twisting her hands. Lenora had long transformed into a woman who stood steadfast in her faith.

He asked her, “Are you okay? I know this has been a long day.”

She reached down and hugged him. “I’m good. Why are you asking me that? I should be asking you how you are doing.”

“As best as I can.” Jonathan noticed Lenora was smiling, but it wasn’t her usual confident grin. Her mouth was slightly curved, indicating she wanted him to know she was okay, but something was on her mind. He inquired, “Where did you disappear to?”

Lenora sat down in the chair next to him. She responded. “There are so many people here today. I wished I could have greeted and talked to as many people as I could.” She tilted her hat slightly back and rubbed her forehead. “You know I think I’m going to have to head home and lie down.”

“That sounds like a plan. I think we all should probably do that.” He looked across over to where his mother still sat with other women in the church. “Why don’t you and Michael go ahead? I think Mother needs to be around the church family right now.”

Lenora stared at him. “I guess you are bringing Mother Freeman to the house.”

Jonathan looked away from his wife’s eyes and nodded. “She needs us right now.”

“Of course.” Lenora rose. She waved her hand at Michael. “Michael, I need you to come with me.”

Michael strolled over. “Can I drive?”

Jonathan started to protest, but Lenora cut him off. “You know, that’s a good idea. My head is killing me.”

Jonathan pointed his finger at his sixteen-year-old son. “Drive carefully, young man.”

Michael grinned, “I got this, Dad.”

Jonathan watched his wife and youngest son leave the center. He knew there were years of conflict between his mother and wife. He often stood to the side when he should have said something to one or both of them. Hopefully, Lenora understood his mother would move back to her home soon. Mother indicated that she needed some time away from all those memories. She was the main caregiver for his father during his illness, making sure he went to dialysis three times a week.

“Jonathan, where is your wife going? She can’t leave now.”

He whirled around to see Eliza leaning on her cane. He stood and pulled out the chair. “Why don’t you sit down?”

Eliza shooed his hand away from her back. “I’ve been sitting down all day.” She jabbed her finger in the direction Lenora had just left. “She should be by your side.”

Jonathan responded. “She’s not feeling well. You should probably be heading home to lie down too, don’t you think?”

Eliza shooed him. “No need to worry about me. I’m fine.” She stretched her arm out. “We are with family.”

He agreed. When he was officially installed as the pastor for Victory Gospel Church a month before, Jonathan had many doubts about trying to step into a role his father held for twenty-five years. Jonathan’s grandfather had founded the church thirty-five years ago before his father’s pastoral time. This was his legacy, and while there had been steady growth in the church, in the back of his mind, Jonathan had doubts he’d never voice to anyone. Was this church truly his calling? Out of all the dreams he had, he’d never pictured himself in this position, legacy or no legacy.

“Did you tell Lenora about your plans?”

His mother had interrupted his thoughts. He looked over at her. “Mother, this isn’t the time to discuss it.”

“I didn’t say you had to announce anything today. If and when you do, Lenora is going to need to know.”

“I know that, Mother. I just haven’t had time. The funeral arrangements that Dad wanted needed to be carried out.”

Eliza patted her son’s hand. “Well, now you can move forward. Pastor Jeremiah would be so proud of you. You are going to step into territory that even your father wouldn’t.”

Jonathan took a deep breath as he thought about the last piece of advice his father left him. A few days before his father had passed away, Jonathan had told him about an opportunity that had been presented to him. Pastor Jeremiah was tired, but lucid. “Son, don’t mix politics and the church. You need to think about which road is more important and which one is your true purpose.”

Son, don’t mix politics and the church.

That wasn’t going to be easy for Jonathan. Jonathan had always seen himself being a public servant. After getting his MBA, life took a turn five years ago and he found himself in seminary school. Still, in the back of his mind, he always thought if the opportunity arose, he would consider it.

A few weeks before, his longtime friend, Mayor Alex Carrington, asked to meet with him. The conversation ended with the mayor asking Jonathan to consider running for Charlotte City Council District 2 seat.

Jonathan was intrigued by the possibilities, but he needed to have the support of his wife. Lenora had shown reluctance when Jonathan decided to fill in as interim pastor. She had since grown into her role as first lady and incorporated the facilities on the Victory Gospel Church campus in her wedding planning business.

How would she feel about her husband placing her and the family even more in the spotlight? He wasn’t sure if Lenora ever had to worry about it. With his father’s death, the church needed him now. Maybe he just needed to let this opportunity pass him by.

As Lenora sat back on the couch, her body melted into the cushions. She really wanted to go to bed and rest her pounding head on her pillow. Instead, she listened to the phone as it rang in her ear. Finally, she heard a greeting on the other side.

Lenora sat up, “Hello, Candace. I’m so sorry to bother you.”

Candace responded, “Hello, Lenora. I’m glad to hear your voice. I wanted to talk to you earlier today after the funeral, but you and Reverend Freeman had so many people around you.”

“It’s been a crazy day, and I’m happy to get a chance to talk to you now. Not to be rude, but have you seen Keith?” The text on her phone had rattled Lenora. She didn’t know if someone was threatening her family or not. The Freemans were well-loved members of their church and community. Still, Lenora was deeply concerned that she had not seen her eldest son in the past few hours, even if he was a college sophomore.

Candace and Lenora had grown as friends the past two years since Candace’s oldest daughter, Rachel, had been dating Keith. The young couple both earned basketball scholarships to UNC and were a popular couple on campus as well.

Lenora continued, “I just don’t know where he would have disappeared to after the funeral, but I hoped he would be with Rachel.”

“Well, no worries. He and Rachel just left awhile ago. I think he probably just needed to be around someone special.”

Lenora breathed a sigh of relief. “I can understand. It’s just that his father was looking for him. You know this image we have of being a family unit.”

Candace said, “I know. We want to hold our children close, especially when there are hard times like a death in the family. When my friend, Pamela, was murdered a few years ago, we were all still struggling with Frank’s death. My relationship with Rachel had broken down so much. Believe me, I wasn’t prepared, nor did I realize, Rachel was trying to deal with grief in her own way.”

“I remember you telling me young adults grieve differently.” Lenora also needed to remind herself her son was only nineteen. They had some battles with him as a teenager, but he had grown into a responsible young man. Since getting the basketball scholarship, Keith had been excelling in his grades.

Lenora knew Rachel was partly responsible for keeping Keith on the straight and narrow. She couldn’t have asked for a better girlfriend for her oldest son.

Candace interrupted her thoughts. “As soon as he drops Rachel off, I will make sure Keith calls you. Young people don’t seem to remember the importance of giving their parents a call.”

“I know. They can talk to everyone else, but can’t seem to remember to check in. It’s okay. I just wanted to know where he was before I lie down.”

“I’m happy you reached out. Lenora, I’m here if you want to talk. Speaking of talking, I have been so busy at the salon I need to catch up with you on the wedding plans. I know you are going to kill me for not deciding on the cake yet.”

Lenora laughed. Candace would be marrying her fiancé, Darnell Jackson, in approximately one month. “Girl, you know Chef Langston is going to throw a fit. He likes at least two to three months to prepare a wedding cake, but don’t worry, he will still work with us. The most important next step is for all the bridesmaids and you to come to the boutique for your final dress fittings.”

“All right, get us in order. You know Mondays are my days off from Crown of Beauty Salon. If I can round up all the girls, can you fit us in?”

“Sounds like a plan. Angel Roberts is a part of the wedding party, right?” Lenora inquired.

Candace responded, “Yes, she is, but she has already gotten some great footage of me and Darnell. She contracted another videographer to film the ceremony and reception. I told her she was going to be in this wedding so no standing behind the camera for her.”

“Good, maybe she and Wes will actually set a wedding date soon.” Lenora and Candace had both been needling their young friend about her yearlong engagement.

The two women said good-bye. Lenora hung up the phone. For a brief moment she had forgotten her headache. Her passion for planning weddings always brightened her day.

The one regret Lenora would never admit to anyone was not having her own large beautiful wedding. Lenora looked over at her wedding photo taken over twenty years ago. Jonathan was dressed in a simple black suit, and she wore a simple off-the-shoulder white dress. Her wedding photo brought Lenora joy, but represented the biggest sin she had ever committed against her mother-in-law, Eliza.

Four weeks before their wedding day at Victory Gospel Church, Lenora was prepared to give her engagement ring back to Jonathan. Jonathan suggested they forget all the wedding plans and go to city hall to get married. Lenora’s mother and Papa Jeremiah were hurt, but both parents eventually forgave them.

Not Eliza. To this day, Eliza felt like it was Lenora’s idea to spite her and leave her out of her only son’s wedding. For some reason, Eliza couldn’t get it through her head that Jonathan had grown tired of his own mother meddling in his love life.

Lenora sighed, and once again, she dialed her son’s cell number. This time the phone went straight to voice mail. Lenora left what had to be her third message. “Keith, I know you are with Rachel. Just call when you get a chance. I love you.” As she pressed the button to end the call, Lenora heard a voice behind her. The grating voice sent Lenora’s temples throbbing again.

“You always let that boy have his way. He should be home grieving his grandfather, not out Lord’s knows where.”

It was best not to get into it with the older woman right now. She is supposed to be grieving. Lenora watched as her mother-in-law shuffled into the living room on her cane. She waited until Eliza sat down in the chair that the boys jokingly called Queen Eliza’s chair. It was a French antique chair that Lenora had found a few years before. She had the rest of the set of chairs at Lenora’s Bridal Boutique. She still wasn’t sure how she got talked into bringing the beautiful, but odd green chair into her living room.

Lenora made an effort to smile through her pain. “How are you feeling, Mother Eliza?”

When Lenora had first met Eliza, she was a bundle of energy. Now, in her midsixties, Eliza was still active, but a weight gain in the past few years hadn’t been good for her knees.

Eliza wrinkled her face and smacked her lips. “I could use some water. I’m so thirsty today.”

“Sure!” Small talk was not their thing, so Lenora went to the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and opened the fridge. As she poured water from the pitcher in the fridge, she noticed her hands were shaking. She set the pitcher back on the refrigerator shelf and closed the door. What had she eaten today? The headache was an annoyance, but now she was starting to feel discomfort in her stomach. Lenora grabbed the counter and took a few deep, cleansing breaths. When the wave of nausea subsided, she headed back into the living room.

As she handed the glass of water to Eliza, Lenora was grateful to see Jonathan walk into the living room.

Jonathan eyed her and asked,. . .