I could kill him in his sleep, I thought to myself, and he wouldn’t know what hit him. My husband Marcel was sound asleep in our bed and oddly enough I got a kick out of hovering over him imagining ways to take him out and get away with the crime. I’m not a killer by any means, but if you knew our history my husband has had more than his fair share of chances. I’m sure I could plead insanity and argue my case of a distraught wife acting in a crime of passion. Hmmm, not a bad idea but today I think I’ll let him live....for now. As I think about the chances of my plan not working in my favor, living in an orange jumpsuit just doesn’t sound like my cup of tea. Besides, I still love him even after everything he’s put me through. I said “I do” at the altar and I meant it. So I guess I’m stuck with him and his mess, at least until I snap for real.
The rain began to pour down excessively outside. I loved the sound of rain so I went to sit in the chaise lounge by the bay window in my bedroom to watch the raindrops fall. There wasn’t a soul in sight driving in the neighborhood or running away from the sudden change in weather. They’re probably at work wishing they were home like me, I thought. It was days like this that I was glad to be my own boss.
I left an executive position at a corporate real estate company seven years ago and not actually by my own choice. I loved the real estate market, but I hated the company I worked for. When I would get fed up with the office environment I would often toy with the thought of leaving and starting my own business but I never had the courage to just do it. The perks of having health benefits, guaranteed paychecks and those generous deposits from my employer into my retirement account were definitely an incentive to stay. One thing I could definitely do without though was those damn bitches in the office. Whew! Brings me chills just thinking about those heifers; I couldn’t stand any of them.
Drama is not my forte so I always said that if I ever ran my own real estate firm I would keep the office ratio small, very small. The last day on my job seemed to start like any other day. It was on a Wednesday, in the summer time. I remember it like it was yesterday because it was so hot that day and I kept reminding myself that I only had two more days until the weekend. There was a Starbucks on my route to work that I usually stopped by to get my morning Frappuccino, so I followed my routine that morning like I always had. While in line waiting to pay for my drink, my boss called me on my work cell.
She wanted to know when I was coming into the office and told me to see her when I arrived. Though I didn’t like being on a schedule, I adhered to it and came in every day at the expected time. I felt it was pretty odd that she would call me to ask when I was coming in. I knew right then that when I got to the office I was going to have to deal with some craziness when I got there. I didn’t even buy my beverage; my appetite had failed me anticipating what I would be walking into when I arrived at work.
At the office, I stopped by my desk to drop off my purse and lunch bag and went straight to see my boss. She wasn’t there. Her secretary informed me that she was in the conference room and would be expecting me. What the hell was going on? I thought to myself. The conference room wasn’t far from her office and when I looked in that direction I could see the tops of multiple heads. Take a deep breath was all I could tell myself as I could feel that something wasn’t right. As I walked down to the conference room, the people in the room started to become more visible. It was my boss, her boss, a director and one of my colleagues.
I stood at the door and my boss immediately invited me in and asked me to close the door. So I did as instructed and took my seat at the boardroom table. You ever been in a situation where you knew some bullshit was brewing? Well I felt like the tea kettle was whistling because the BS was hot and they were ready to pour me a nice big cup of it. Looking at everyone’s facial expressions I tried to gauge what was about to occur. My colleague couldn’t even make eye contact with me so I knew that the shit was about to hit the fan. In the eight years I had been with the company I had never even met my director and only in passing spoke to my bosses’ boss. It seemed very peculiar to me that they all decided to grace me with their presence today, which I would soon find out was going to be my last day.
My boss began feeding me some crap about how I was a great person and I had been a pleasure to work with over the years but at this time the company was moving in a different direction and I was no longer a good fit. Huh? I was stunned at what I had just heard with my own ears. She went on to explain in a nutshell that I was being let go and they would provide me with four month’s severance pay to assist with my transition and compensation. I couldn’t believe it. I started working for this company right out of college and after eight years of dedication all I got was thank you for your time but you can kick rocks because we don’t need you anymore.
Furthermore, for a company that happened to be one of the top corporate real estate firms in the southeast region, they were horrible in keeping their numbers together and regulating the company by law. Many a fire I have put out over the years and it’s because of me that they had passed all audits and had their bookkeeping in order. Furious couldn’t even describe the feelings I possessed at that moment. Reflecting on the many nights I burned the midnight oil fixing their problems made my skin boil. Years of my time and sacrifices making them look good and proactively making sure they were in compliance while I put my dreams on hold. I felt blindsided.
Since they were firing me anyway and I had no intentions of returning I said a few choice words for each one sitting in the conference room. No threats were made but I made it clear what they could do with their company and its new direction. You’re not supposed to burn your bridges but I made sure that that bridge was demolished. After all was said and done, security proceeded to escort me out of the building like I was some sort of transient that was trespassing. Another co-worker who I sort of communicated with called me later to inform me there was a security alert out for me. Seems I scared the crap out of them when they let me go and they feared I was capable of returning to do some harm. That cracked me up.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared leaving the perks and security of corporate America. I could’ve gone to work for another company but I was done letting someone else be in charge of my future. After my former company used me for what they needed and threw me out like some trash, I decided to never put my success in another man’s hand. Hard work is hard work so if I could put in all those years of dedication for someone else then I can definitely do the same for myself. The next four months were used to figure out my next steps. Thoughts and ideas had already been shared on paper, now it was just a matter of bringing them to life. When I worked for my former company, I didn’t need a license because I didn’t sell property. The first thing I got started on was taking a real estate class to become a licensed broker, sat for the exam and passed it .......on the second try.
For two years I worked under a broker-in-charge learning the ropes to the real estate market. My best friend Deidra helped me to stay focused and motivated because the real estate market can really be a trip sometimes. I love my best friend, she’s been with me through some tough times and we’ve been friends for longer than I can remember. She doesn’t have good sense when it comes to men (that’s a whole other story) but she definitely knows what she’s talking about when it comes to business.
In my third year away from corporate America I opened up Scott Estates, a very successful real estate firm catering to the wealthier clientele. I’ve never been happier and I have no regrets except wishing my former company had fired me sooner. I really appreciate times like this when I can sit here in my window on a weekday morning, stress-free, and enjoy the little things like watching the rain.
“Baby, what are you doing?” Marcel, my husband, called out to me groggily from the bed.
“Nothing babe, go back to sleep.”
“What time is it?”
“Almost nine o’clock.”
“.....Why are you up? I thought you were working from home today.”
“I am. I was just reflecting and enjoying the rain.”
“Well come reflect with me so I can go back to sleep.”
“Not right now.” I giggled. “I’ll never get anything done today if I get back in the bed with you.”
“Well can you at least come suck my dick so I can go back to sleep.”
“Ugh. You can’t ask no better than that?”
“Excuse me; I didn’t know there was a proper way to ask my wife to give me some head.”
“I just don’t like the way that sounded. That was a complete turnoff.”
“Ok, can you please come partake in your wifely duties and place your mouth around my protruding lower extremity so that I may be pleasured and perhaps fall back to sleep?”
“Smart ass!” I snapped back, leaving him and his dick in the bedroom, unsucked.
“You’re going to want to get that clit licked on later, you better come give your husband some head!” he yelled out to me as I left the bedroom to find refuge in another part of the house.
Romantic, he is not, but that’s my husband. I met him in college and we dated for a while but eventually went our separate ways because he kept cheating on me. Ethan, his best friend and roommate in college tried numerous times to talk sense to him but his reasoning fell upon deaf ears. Four years ago I ran into Marcel at the gym and he seemed to have matured tremendously. He always had a very loving and affectionate side to him, which was always one of his key attributes for me. The only problem was his dick always seemed to end up in a hole that wasn’t mine. After reconnecting, we dated for six months before he popped the question. I never truly stopped loving Marcel from when we were in college. He was my first everything, which is why I didn’t hesitate to say yes to his marriage proposal. My only condition was that we made this marriage work no matter what. I never lived in a two parent home growing up and I was determined to not be a statistic and get married just to get divorced a couple years later.
We’ve definitely had our challenges over the years. His dick still seems to have a slight problem navigating its way home. His career doesn’t help the situation either with him being a personal trainer - let’s just say he’s got a whole neighborhood to get lost in. The last time he messed up I had truly had enough and kicked his butt out of the house. Then Ethan.....good ol’ Ethan came to save the day. Ethan had remained friends with my knuckle head husband after college and was such a genuine sweet guy. He’d been a great friend to me as well over the years, often consoling me when my wandering husband would repeatedly cross the line. I always wondered how those two could be best friends because they are like night and day. Since Marcel’s words were mute to me at the time of the indiscretion he sent his secret weapon, Ethan, to talk to me. He knew I’d listen to him.
Marriage counseling was the agreement we came to and an end to all the shenanigans with all these other women. Marcel promised me the world while we were in counseling. He begged for me to take him back and reluctantly I agreed. After being betrayed so many times, the trust factor dwindled tremendously. If it were not for our vows, there’s no telling where I would be. I knew what I was getting into when I reconnected with Marcel but I was hoping that he really had changed, if not for himself, for me.
The raw lesson I learned - you cannot change a man. They have to want to change and actively put forth the steps to do so themselves. All the promises and pussy in the world don’t mean a thing and it’s only a temporary band-aid for the beast inside of them that’s bound to rear its ugly head again. Until it snaps in that man’s head that they want something different, they will never change. The writing has always been on the wall, I just chose to ignore it for the sake of the fairytale life.
Divorce was not an option but sometimes I’ll admit I do think about having my own affair. Marcel can’t seem to get enough outside of our marriage so why shouldn’t I test the waters too? I hadn’t been able to bring myself to do it but my patience was at zero so at this point, anything can happen. My plan was to be a great wife, run a successful business, have two beautiful kids, and maybe even a dog. With Marcel’s adulterous history, I’ve never been able to get comfortable with the idea of bringing kids into this situation.
A lot would have to change. In the meantime, I kick ass at work and lean on my BFF Deidra to keep me sane. What would I do without her; she has definitely had my back through everything. Marcel on the other hand, while I still love him I find myself daydreaming more and more about cracking his skull if he tries me again.
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