It’s a Wonderful Life meets Groundhog Day in USA Today bestselling author Annie Rains’s new novel, as a woman dangerously close to losing it all receives an unexpected Christmas gift that prompts a surprising journey of self-discovery … and another chance at happiness. Diana Merriman, a physical therapist, is probably the only person in the small town of Snow Haven, North Carolina, who isn’t looking forward to Christmas. It’s been three weeks since her fiancé Linus was critically injured when a car hit him as he biked home from the toy store he owns and manages. Watching him open his eyes is the only gift she wants, but she can’t help losing a little more hope every day. But an unexpected visit from a friendly neighbor and finding a snow globe of Snow Haven—a gift Linus had hidden in the closet—the night before Christmas Eve changes things in ways Diana never would have imagined. Because on Christmas Eve Diana wakes up to find that it’s not—Christmas Eve, that is. Instead, it’s somehow December 4 all over again, the day Linus got hurt, and as mystified as Diana is, she immediately starts a plan to save her partner from his fate. Nothing is that simple, of course. Instead of a single repeat of that day, Diana finds herself in an endless loop of December 4, experiencing every possible variation of events. Along the way, she uncovers startling truths about herself, her relationship, and even her career that illustrate the ways she’s retreated from her life—and in the face of life’s slights and outright blows, from her deepest feelings. Suddenly hope is second only to joy as Diana opens her heart to the people she loves in every way she can.
Release date:
August 22, 2023
Publisher:
Kensington Books
Print pages:
304
Reader says this book is...: entertaining story (1) escapist/easy read (1)
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“You think I’m an Elsa too?” Diana Merriman drew back as she faced her fiancé.
Linus placed his hands on his hips. Today he was wearing his lavender-colored tie with a print of tiny dogs playing fetch. She’d given it to him for their six-month dating anniversary. It was meant to be more of a prank than a staple in his weekly wardrobe, but it fit Linus’s personality perfectly—equal parts fun, dorky, and unassumingly handsome. “I didn’t say that.”
“No, but you didn’t say I wasn’t one either.” Earlier in the day, Diana’s teenage patient had tossed this insult at her and Diana’s thoughts had been simmering on it ever since. She’d only seen bits and pieces of the children’s movie, and the character in question was beautiful and strong. Diana didn’t think Addy meant for it to be a compliment, though. “Elsa is an ice queen, right?”
Linus chuckled under his breath, which only made her feel more hurt by the accusation.
“It’s not funny, Linus.” Diana narrowed her eyes as she folded her arms over her chest, applying pressure over her achy heart.
Linus reached out to touch her shoulder. “Hey, don’t be upset. I didn’t mean to laugh. It’s not like you to be so sensitive with stuff like this.”
Diana’s lips parted. “What is that supposed to mean?” She could feel herself taking offense to even that statement. She was just stressed. She’d had a busy day, seeing one home health patient after another, and tomorrow was her interview with her boss for the big promotion she’d been pining over for months. That’s all it was. She was tired and stressed, and she wanted Linus to side with her in this debate. He was her fiancé after all.
“You’re not an Elsa, okay? I think what your patient probably meant was that you’re hard to reach—emotionally. You can be a little”—Linus wobbled his head back and forth, a small grimace stretching the corners of his lips—“distant sometimes.”
“I’m not distant,” she objected. “I’m standing right here.”
Linus slipped his dog-print tie from around his neck. “Well, I didn’t mean it literally.”
“What did you mean, then? Give me one example of a time when I was emotionally distant.” Diana looked at him expectantly. She watched as the humor drained from his expression, a note of trepidation playing in her chest.
“Okay,” he said, his tone suddenly becoming serious. “How about ever since I proposed this summer?”
Diana’s throat tightened, remembering that night. She’d had no idea he was going to ask her to marry him. The question had taken her so much by surprise that she’d actually started crying for the first time in front of him. It was the happiest moment of her life. “What does that mean?”
“You said yes to forever, but you’ve been dragging your feet on setting a date ever since.”
She shook her head. “No, I haven’t. I’ve just been—”
“Busy? Or”—Linus folded the tie in his hands in half— “distant. One can have a career and a personal life too. It’s been done before.”
Diana looked around their bedroom, searching for the right response. How had the conversation jumped from her teenage patient’s insult to her and Linus’s wedding plans—or lack thereof? She rolled her lips together, searching for yet another excuse to delay this discussion. She wasn’t ready to discuss dresses or flowers and especially not a guest list.
“Let’s get married this Christmas,” he said, his expression shifting into a lopsided smile. It was the same smile that had stolen her heart nine months ago when she’d first walked into his father’s toy store—the Toy Peddler. The same store that Linus now owned, following Mr. Grant’s retirement.
“This Christmas?” she repeated, an invisible cord tightening around her chest. Her breathing felt like shallow gulps. “As in three weeks from now?”
Linus grinned. “It’ll be perfect. My relatives from my mother’s side are flying in. My dad’s family all live within an hour’s drive. Everyone will be here.”
“Everyone” implied even more than the droves of Grants who’d come to Linus’s parents’ home for Thanksgiving. That’s when she’d learned Linus had more aunts, uncles, and cousins than she had acquaintances.
“Imagine it. The lights. The trees. The poinsettias.” He took a step closer, bracing her shoulders with his hands.
She tipped her head back to look up at him, and her heart did a little somersault in her chest. She loved this man. There was no doubt about that. He was the one, the only one, for her. Some part of her wanted to say yes so badly. There was another part, though, that envisioned herself as the runaway bride. A lack of love wasn’t what made those brides-to-be bolt. No. Diana knew exactly what made women turn their backs on a perfectly good happy ever after—fear.
“What do you think? Having our wedding at Christmas will take out most of the planning and a lot of the expenses. It’ll just leave us.”
“Us” and about fifty or so members of the Grant family to Diana’s zero. She had friends, of course, but Linus had more. The church would tip to one side from the guest list’s disproportion.
She tried to swallow, but her mouth felt parched. “My interview for the promotion at work is tomorrow,” she finally said. “Let me concentrate on that before we make any rash decisions. Then we can focus on planning the wedding. I promise.”
“Rash?” Linus asked quietly. The disappointment in his tone was evident. “We’ve been engaged for months and you’ve barely wanted to discuss wedding planning.” He searched her gaze. “Why do I get the feeling you don’t want to marry me at all? Was your yes to my proposal out of pity?”
“What? Why would you ask such a thing?”
He lifted a shoulder. “I don’t know. I’m sure there’s a lot of pressure when someone pops the big question. Maybe you didn’t want to hurt my feelings.”
Guilt consumed Diana. She hated that he would even question her sincerity. “I would never say yes if I didn’t mean it, Linus. It’s just . . .” She trailed off because she didn’t have a good reason for delaying things. Not one he would understand, at least. He didn’t know what it was like to grow up, abandoned by both parents and raised by a grandmother who didn’t seem to want her either. Diana had issues, and she was the first to admit it. “What’s the hurry?” she finally asked.
Linus’s lips set in a straight line. “My grandfather used to say that forever is a myth. All we have is this moment.” His eyes searched hers. “That’s the hurry.”
“Well, surely we have at least one more tomorrow,” she teased, trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t work for either of them, though. She was anxious and defensive, and Linus seemed deflated. The hurt feelings over her teenage patient calling her an Elsa were irrelevant now because she’d hurt Linus, which was the last thing she’d ever want to do. Maybe she truly was an ice queen.
Linus stepped back, pulling his arms down to his side. “Some part of me regrets asking you to marry me,” he said, so quiet she almost didn’t hear him.
“What?” Diana pressed a hand to her chest, reminding herself to breathe. Surely he didn’t mean that. Did he?
“Not because I don’t love you.” He offered a humorless laugh. “The truth is, I love you so much I can hardly take a breath when I think about it. You’re everything I ever wanted. And more. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve you.”
Tears burned in her eyes. She could feel the but trailing silently behind his sweet words. She waited, bracing herself. When he remained quiet, she prodded. “But?”
Linus shook his head. “I don’t know. Maybe I moved too fast. Maybe you weren’t ready. Maybe you still aren’t,” he said.
Diana didn’t make a habit out of crying in front of people. Not even Linus. Her grandmother, Denny, had taught her to hold her emotions at bay until she was alone. Denny hadn’t been as poetic with her words as Linus’s grandfather, but she’d given out hard truths to help Diana survive the real world, which Denny had painted to be cruel and unforgiving. Diana had experienced a little bit of that, of course, but her world had been so much nicer since Linus had come into it. He made life seem magical in a way she’d never experienced. “All this because I asked you if I was an Elsa?”
“All this because I’ve been trying to talk to you about the wedding for weeks and there’s never been a good time.” He sighed wearily. “It’s still not a good time. We should talk about this tomorrow, after your interview, when we’re both clear-minded.”
“Talk about what, exactly?” she asked, still working hard to hold in her tears.
“The wedding. And if there’s going to be one this Christmas.”
The if made her stiffen and she wondered if he meant more than he was saying. Maybe he wanted to discuss if there’d be a wedding at all. Maybe he truly did regret proposing.
Linus offered a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Then he placed the folded tie he was holding on the edge of their bed, turned, and left the room.
Diana finally gave herself permission to let the tears stream down her cheeks. She climbed into bed and laid her head on her pillow, wiping her eyes futilely. Then she gave up and let the tears fall.
An hour later, she listened to the sound of Linus’s breathing in the bed beside her. She’d pretended to be asleep when he’d returned to their room. She hadn’t known what to say. An apology was probably in order, but from her or him? They’d both said regrettable things. This whole night had been a mess. The only bright side she could see was that tomorrow could only go up from here.
She twisted the diamond engagement ring on her finger while her thoughts ran laps in her brain. This is silly. We love each other. “Linus?” she finally whispered. “Linus, are you awake?”
His breathing continued, slow and steady.
She rolled to her opposite side, her eyes trying to focus in the dark. The shadow of his chest lifted and dropped steadily. “Linus?”
No answer. He was asleep, and once Linus was out, he was gone to the world. She’d just have to wait and smooth things over with him tomorrow. She didn’t want him to think she regretted saying yes to his proposal. The only regret she had right now was going to bed angry. And asking Linus if she was an Elsa, like Addy had said. She regretted that too.
“Wake up, sleepy girl.”
Diana blinked Linus’s face into focus. “Already?”
“Afraid so.” He was in his usual cheerful mood for early morning. The man had a spring in his step as soon as he got up, excited about each new day. It was one of the things that she loved about him, but at times she also found the quality annoying.
Diana slid an arm over her eyes to block the light as memories of last night filtered into her mind.
“How about we trim the tree tonight?” Linus said with no trace of frustration with her, despite going to bed upset.
“The tree?” she repeated, trying to will her eyelids open. Unlike him, she was not a morning person.
“You know, the tall green thing in the corner of our living room. We dragged it home from the lot last weekend?”
“Right.” Diana’s face stretched into a yawn.
“We can drink champagne to celebrate your new promotion and add the lights and tinsel. Who knows, maybe I’ll even add a little tinsel to you.”
Diana peeked out from behind her arm just in time to see him waggle his eyebrows. “Promotion?” She sat up now and looked at him with wide eyes. “Today’s the interview,” she remembered out loud. She’d tossed and turned so much in the night—her mind rehashing her argument with Linus and rehearsing today’s meeting with Mr. Powell—that she was completely out of sorts.
“Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten. That promotion is all you’ve talked about for weeks.” What he didn’t say was it was also her excuse to avoid setting a date and planning their wedding. She was grateful he didn’t bring that up this morning. It would only make things tense between them again and today promised to be life-changing. A promotion at work would improve their financial situation. They might even be able to afford to leave this apartment and move into a house of their own.
She stood and hurried into her closet. The interview wasn’t until this afternoon. First, she had a busy morning of home health patients to see. Grabbing a pair of scrubs with a sparkly snowflake print, she quickly started stripping down to change.
“I’m sorry for calling you an Elsa last night.” Linus stood in the closet’s doorway, watching her.
“Addy was the one who called me an Elsa. You just confirmed it.”
“I only meant that you’re beautiful like her.”
“That’s not what you meant, and you know it.” Diana rolled her eyes playfully as she looked at him. Even though he’d likely already brushed his hair, it was disheveled on one side.
He cast a sheepish grin. “Well, you are beautiful. More so than any ice queen. Forgive me?”
She also needed to apologize. He was right. She had been avoiding the subject of marriage. Pulling her scrub pants up to her waist, she stepped toward him. “We’ll set the date tonight,” she promised. “While we celebrate with champagne and create the most festive tree that Snow Haven has ever seen.”
Linus leaned in and kissed her. “I like the sound of that.”
“Me too.” And she did, even if she was terrified of being part of a family. She didn’t know the first thing about having relatives who actually cared and wanted to spend time with her. What if she was horrible at it? What if Linus realized his mistake in choosing her and left? Or worse, if he stayed and it ruined his life?
“Tonight, then?” He pulled back. “I’ve got to get to the toy store. I have a meeting with a distributor this morning. Love you forever,” he called behind him on his way out.
Diana’s brain stuttered on that last word. Forever is a myth. All we’ve got is this moment. Had Linus’s grandfather been right about that? Well, if so, she intended to knock this day out of the park. “Love you too!” she called after him. “See you tonight!”
After he was gone, she hurried into the bathroom and washed her face. The front door squeaked as it opened down the hall. Diana turned off the faucet and peeked out, seeing Linus standing back in the doorway.
“My truck is out of gas,” he said with a long face.
“You let it get so low that you can’t make it to the station?”
“So low that it won’t even start.” He released a heavy sigh, his good mood visibly deflating.
Diana shrugged. “It’s going to take me a few minutes to get ready, but I can drive you if you want to wait.”
Linus shook his head. “No, I’ll take the bicycle. It’ll be fine. I’ve got to go. I don’t want to be late.”
All the reason she should drive him. He would only argue, though. Linus always rode his bike to work when the weather was nice, which wasn’t exactly the case for today. The toy store was only a mile down the road and he enjoyed the exercise.
“Love you!” he called as he rolled his bicycle out of their apartment into the December morning. He didn’t wait to hear her reply before the door was closed and he was gone.
Her stomach suddenly felt unsettled as she stood there. She guessed it was the argument they’d had last night. Even though everything seemed fine this morning, last night’s feud felt bigger than their usual quarrels about him leaving dirty laundry on the floor or her not screwing the cap on the toothpaste. Had Linus really said he regretted proposing? Had she allowed the whole marriage thing to freak her out so much that it was driving a wedge between them?
She stared after the door for another second, some part of her wanting to run out the front door and wrap her arms around Linus. There was no time for that, though. They both had a busy day ahead. Today she was going to get the promotion she deserved and tonight she and Linus would begin planning the rest of their lives together. Whatever issues she had with family and commitment, she’d just have to get over them between now and then.
Linus’s grandfather was mistaken. Forever wasn’t a myth. It was hers for the taking.
“Come on, Maria. It’s cold out here,” Diana mumbled under her breath as she stood outside her patient’s door. She pressed the bell a third time.
It wasn’t like Maria not to answer immediately. The old woman lived alone, though. Maybe she was in the bathroom. Or perhaps she’d gone off to stay with relatives and had forgotten to cancel her physical therapy appointment.
Diana wasn’t even sure if Maria had family in Snow Haven, North Carolina. When Diana was working with Maria, she kept things professional. They focused on Maria’s exercises so that the older woman could recover some of the strength and endurance she’d lost during last month’s stroke.
Diana shivered beneath her lightweight coat. The temperatures had dropped sharply in the night, leaving a dusting of frost on the lawn. She rang the doorbell one more time and waited. Then, sighing, she turned to leave, stopping cold when she heard Maria’s voice calling out from inside the house. Diana turned back and bent her ear toward the door. “Maria?”
“Help!”
All the air in Diana’s lungs whooshed out in a puff of white frosty air. She attempted to turn the doorknob, but it was locked. “Maria, I’m here!” she called again, hoping her patient could hear her. “Hold on!”
Diana scanned the porch for some sort of obvious place to hide a key. She checked beneath a flowerpot and then a garden gnome. She checked the wind chimes and behind the loose shutter near the front window. There was nothing. Diana briefly considered kicking the door down, but decided the professional thing to do was to call 911.
Diana hurried back to her car where she’d left her phone and tapped her screen to make the call.
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” the dispatcher answered.
Diana’s hands shook as she clutched the device to her ear. “Yes, um, well, I’m sitting outside my patient’s house right now. Her name is Maria Harris. I’m her home health physical therapist. Maria isn’t answering the door, and I can hear her calling for help inside. I’m not sure what to do.”
The operator asked several more probing questions and then assured Diana that help was on the way. The fact that Maria could call out was a good sign. Obviously, she couldn’t get up to reach the phone for herself. Was she on the floor? Had she suffered a second stroke? The possibilities whirled through Diana’s mind until the first police cruiser slid up to the curb, sirens wailing. An ambulance pulled into the driveway moments after the police. The lights of the emergency vehicles competed with the early Christmas decorations the neighboring house had already put up.
Diana helplessly watched, wondering how her morning had already become so eventful. Most of her days were just the opposite. She lived a routine life, seeing her patients one by one and coming home to Linus during the evenings. She liked her life as it was, even if lately she wanted something more. The promotion at work might help with that. And marrying Linus. Her life would change for sure once she joined the Grant family. That excited as much as it terrified her.
Diana leaned against her car and watched as a man worked to open Maria’s front door. Finally, it swung inward and a team of police and paramedics disappeared inside. When two paramedics finally rolled Maria out on a stretcher, Diana rushed over.
“Maria! Maria, are you okay?”
Maria turned her head, searching the small crowd of uniformed men and women who had gathered on her lawn. She smiled warmly when her eyes connected with Diana’s. “Oh, Diana. Don’t worry about me. I’m fine, dear. I just took a little fall. I think my ankle might be broken.” She flinched softly as she tried to move it.
“Broken?” Maria’s right leg was already weak after last month’s stroke. “What happened?”
“I’m embarrassed to say.” Maria glanced sheepishly at the two male paramedics who’d stopped long enough to let her talk to Diana. “I was trying to climb into my attic to retrieve my Christmas decorations.”
Diana’s mouth fell open. “Maria, I told you to wait on that.”
“Wait for what? For who? It had to get done, and I was feeling well enough this morning, so I decided to go for it.”
Diana shook her head. “That wasn’t safe. You injured yourself for a little holiday decorating?”
Maria looked offended for a moment. “Christmas cheer is important.”
The paramedic standing on the right of the stretcher cleared his throat. “We’re taking her to East Medical,” he told Diana.
East Medical was the local hospital. Diana knew the place well. She had visited often when Grandma Denny had gotten sick. Diana had stood by her grandmother’s side, hoping to return the favor of when Denny had taken Diana in. Denny hadn’t provided the best emotional support when Diana was growing up, but Diana had never wanted for food or shelter. She’d had her own room, three warm meals a day, and when she was sixteen, Denny had provided her with a dented clunker for transportation to and from an after-school job. That same clunker had gotten Diana through physical therapy school.
The paramedic signaled to the other that it was time to continue toward the ambulance.
Diana took a step backward. “Take care of yourself, Maria. I’ll be here when you’re ready to begin PT again.” She watched as Maria was carted into the back of the vehicle. Then, with her heart still racing from the chaos of the morning, Diana headed back to her car. Why had Maria attempted to climb into her attic? She could barely walk, which was one of the reasons Diana was treating her.
Diana plopped into the driver’s seat and shut the door behind her, barring the frigid air. She took a moment to check her phone, hoping there’d be a text from Linus. He usually messaged her throughout the day, sending funny GIFs and random musings that she liked to refer to as Linus-isms. There was nothing waiting for her on her phone though. He must still be in a meeting with the toy distributor.
She tapped out a message to him.
Diana: I hope your morning is going smoother than mine.
When he didn’t immediately reply, she shifted her car into gear and drove to her next patient’s home.
Addy was a sixteen-year-old in remission from acute myelogenous leukemia. Addy had been an active basketball player on her high school team before that, and she was already looking at colleges. Cancer didn’t care about the future, though. Or how old a person was.
Diana fiddled with the radio as she drove. All the stations were playing holiday songs, which she didn’t mind. She sang along to Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You” as she headed to her next stop, entertaining Linus’s idea of a Christmas wedding. This might be a good song selection for the ceremony. Knowing Linus, he’d probably want to serenade her with it at the reception. He thought he could sing and Diana would never tell him otherwise, even though the man couldn’t hold a tune to save his life.
Perhaps she should suggest eloping. Linus probably wouldn’t go for that idea. Knowing him, he would want to share their special moment with his loved ones. He was a family man, and well, Diana wasn’t a. . .
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