The Side Effects of Loving You

by Kaylha Karrington

Genres: African American Urban

Synopsis

Draya wants to trust and believe, but she doesn’t know how. Will this couple get it together, or will the memories of what they want disappear right before their eyes?

Draya had given up on the hopes of being in love ever since her fiancé, Korey, decided to make a fool out of her. Her woman’s intuition told her he was doing her dirty, and without asking him, she packed up her son and moved out of the home they were sharing. However, Korey has not and will not give up on Draya. He knows she’s the one for him. Despite the past issues, he swears he didn’t cheat on her and wishes there was something he could do.

Junie and Jace’s relationship has always had highs and lows, but it always seemed to end on a down. Having to stay in the house all the time with their three-year-old daughter, Junie is in desperate need of some freedom, which is something Jace doesn’t want. His controlling ways have made Junie feel like a prisoner in her own home, scared to leave but frightened to stay. What will she choose: Her life or her love for Jace?

Despite her being a hot girl, Dreux wants love. She’s the girl that men want but can’t have, with a past full of regrets and a baby that she loves more than anybody in the world. She just wants somebody that will love her for her, but sometimes the wall she puts up to guard her heart makes it hard for any man to get close to her. Her baby’s father, Max, is set on getting their child taken from her. He almost defeats her until Deion, a well-known lawyer, comes in and helps her. Could he be just the man Dreux needs?

Release date: October 24, 2023

Publisher: Urban Books

Print pages: 288

Sample

“Another day,” I told my ex-mother-in-law, Adella. Here I was, dropping my son KJ off at her house so that his father could come to pick him up for his week. I made sure I made this arrangement when we broke up so I didn’t have to see his face again. He had made a fool out of me for the last time, and I’d had enough. I put up with his shit for so long that I actually forgot what it was like to be happy, like genuinely happy. It was like when I was away from him, I was smiling, giggling, and blushing. And when I was with him, he had me the same way, but he pissed me off even more.

“I wish that you and my son would get it together for the sake of KJ. I know it isn’t easy, but I’m too old to be playing the middleman between the two of you,” she said as I handed her Korey Jr.

I knew she wanted us to work things out, but she needed to understand that I needed a break. I needed to be able to go through life without him to see if I could be without him for real. It had been a hard year, but I made it, and so did my son. I never cried in front of him. I saved all my tears for my pillow like my old dance instructor used to say.

“It’s been a year,” she added, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“I know, but I’m just not ready to face him, Momma.”

Just as those words left my mouth, the front door opened, and I was staring right into the eyes of Korey Sr.

“I’ll see you Sunday, little man,” I said in baby talk while kissing my son on the cheek and sidestepping him.

“You do know you can’t avoid me forever, Julia,” he said, calling me by my middle name, something only he did.

“Draya. Please call me Draya. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that. And I’m not avoiding you,” I lied.

Closing my eyes, I pulled the door open to my car and climbed inside. Looking back at him, I started the engine, smiled, and backed out of the driveway. As soon as I was out of eyesight of them at the house, I took a deep breath. I didn’t know why I was so nervous seeing this man, and I knew his mother was the reason he showed up that early. He would usually wait an hour before picking KJ up.

When I finally made it back to my house, I couldn’t help but sit there for a second and think. Was I doing too much by avoiding my ex-fiancé and not trying to have a conversation with him? Was I out of line for not telling him how I was feeling and just leaving the way that I did?

I literally packed KJ and myself up and left the house with no questions. I didn’t stay for an explanation or nothing. When you put up with a man for as long as I put up with Korey, then you didn’t need proof of anything. If somebody said he did something, nine times out of ten, he did that shit. It never failed. When I minded my business and stayed in the house, somebody had a story each time that man went to the club, and he sat in my face and lied about it each time. It didn’t matter if I had pictures. Hell, the FBI could give me all the evidence I needed, and this man would still say they were lying. It didn’t make any sense, and I was tired of trying to make it.

I loved that man. Shit, it’d been a year, and I still couldn’t see myself without him. But if he couldn’t get himself together, we didn’t have anything to talk about. That was the only reason I’d been avoiding him. I needed him to see that I didn’t have to talk to him. I left him, not the other way around. I made sure he still got to see his son. I had never tried to keep him away from his son. I wasn’t that type of mother. And when I needed a break, honey, I needed that shit.

My son was only 1 year old, and he already was in everything he could put his hands on. I could have shit hiding from his little ass, and he would crawl and dig until he couldn’t anymore. Fucking with KJ, I cleaned up every day. Shit, not a day went by that my house didn’t need my attention, whether it was in my room, his room, or the living room. If he could grab it, you could guarantee it was coming down along with whatever else.

When I pulled up to the house, I got out and went inside. Putting my music on, I cleaned top to bottom while it played, until Megan Thee Stallion came on. I started twerking and dancing.

“Ay!” I yelled out while throwing my hands in the air and rapping along with her.

Looking back in the full-length mirror I had in my bedroom, I turned to the side and started watching my ass bounce up and down. I hadn’t had a nigga inside of me since the day I gave birth to my son. There wasn’t a nigga in Houston who could make me drop my panties. All these niggas were on some bullshit, and I didn’t have time for that shit in my life. I was a mother first and a single bitch shortly afterward.

The sound of the music cutting off and my phone ringing made me stand up and cuss in my head.

“Bitches always calling when I’m having a concert,” I said to myself while making my way to it. Picking it up, I looked at it and saw that it was my sister, Junie.

“Hey, baby girl.”

“Hey, boo, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Nothing, cleaning up. You know how I do when KJ goes with his father.”

“That’s all your ass do. Let’s go out tonight,” she suggested, but it was almost as if she was begging. She quit her job and everything just to stay at home with their child. I didn’t blame her, because nowadays, you couldn’t trust anybody with your child, but she should have done all her research about staying home with a baby all the time. That shit will have you depressed, cranky, and you be snapping on everybody just because.

“I’m down with it. Who else coming?”

“I’m thinking Dreux.”

When she said that, I said nothing. I knew for a fact that Dreux’s ass was gonna be ready to go out. Her ass was hot in the drawers. Junie and I had been friends with her for about ten years. We all grew up with one another and made sure to keep in touch even after we graduated high school. Not once did I think we would all have kids for major drug dealers in Houston, but look at God.

“A’ight. You riding with me, or we meeting up?”

“Pregaming at your house.”

“Okay. Let me finish cleaning up, and then I’ll text you,” I said and hung up the phone.

It didn’t take me long to finish cleaning my bedroom and KJ’s nursery. Once I was finished, I went downstairs and started to cook some shrimp nachos. Pulling out my phone, I was about to text my sister to let her know that she could come when my phone started to ring. Looking at it, I rolled my eyes when I noticed the number belonged to Korey’s ass.

“Yeah?” I answered.

“What’s with the attitude? I’m just calling to tell you we made it to the house just in case you wanted to know.”

“How did you get my number?”

“My momma gave it to me.”

“I told her ass not to give you my number. If I wanted you to have it, I would have given it to you.”

“You need to get over the shit that happened between us. You know you love me, and I love you. You need to stop punishing me for something I didn’t do.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I lied.

I knew exactly what he was talking about. I just didn’t want to talk about it. I hated thinking about what got us to where we were, and I just wanted to forget about it. Sometimes it was on my mind, and I wished I had gotten that explanation, but then I changed my mind. The last thing I needed was for this man to come in and hurt my feelings any more than he already had. Korey could tell anybody else that he didn’t cheat on me, but the way I felt, didn’t no bitch have a reason to lie to me about this nigga.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, but I see you’re still on that childish shit and want to be petty.”

“I’m not being anything. I just don’t have anything to say to you. I don’t understand why you don’t get that,” I said. The phone clicking in my ear told me that he had hung up.

Shaking my head, I sent my sister a come on text and rolled a blunt. It was a little hard for me with these long nails on, but I got it done. Once it was rolled, I grabbed a brush, put my long, jet-black hair up into a ponytail, and brushed my edges down. I was looking raggedy as hell and didn’t even care. On my worst day, I could take a bitch’s man and give him back when I was finished with him, but that was not who I was. Putting the blunt to my mouth, I lit it and took a long drag from it before getting up and making my way to the back porch.

Stepping outside, I closed my eyes as the sun blazed down on me. The weather out here was bipolar. One minute it was cold, and the next it was hot as hell. Sitting down, I hit the blunt a few more times before the doorbell rang. I strolled through the house and made my way to the door. My sister and Dreux were standing there with smiles and bags in their hands.

“You partying without us?” Junie asked with a frown on her face.

“I’m not partying. I just had to smoke me one to get my mind right before you hoes got here and worked my nerves.”

“Girl, fuck you!” Dreux snapped, making both me and Junie laugh.

“Are you gonna let us in or just stand there like we’re strangers?” Junie inquired.

Moving to the side, I watched their feet. “Uh-uh, take them damn shoes off, bitches!” I yelled, running and blocking their path.

I did not play when it came to people wearing shoes in my house. I had all-white carpet and marble floors that I liked to keep clean. No mud tracking went on in this bitch. I had cleaning bad, especially since having my son. Although he made the most messes, I had to clean the whole house all the time. The house could already be clean, and if I felt like it was dirty, I would clean everything all over again.

“Oh, bitch, you act like our shoes dirty,” Dreux said, looking at me with a smirk on her face.

“I couldn’t give a damn if they were new shoes. Take them hoes off,” I told them, and they both giggled. They took them damn shoes off, though.

Nodding my head, I locked the door, and we all went into the living room so that we could drink and catch up.

I was sitting here listening to my sister and best friend talk, and I couldn’t help but think about the shit I was going through with Jace, my man of three years. That man was everything to me, but he had a habit of putting his hands on me when I didn’t do anything wrong. I was so sick of it, and I wanted so badly to leave. But it wasn’t that simple when you had a man threatening to kill you if you left him. He didn’t appreciate me, but he couldn’t think about me being with somebody else. That shit was sad as fuck. Sometimes I could nag him and bitch about little shit, but it was because I was always in the house with our 3-year-old daughter. And he didn’t seem to understand that was a full-time job just like his job.

He didn’t even do much. His ass went to check on traps and was in the streets with his crew day in and day out. This was the first time I’d been able to get a break from Montana, and I needed it, but here he went texting my phone, trying to ruin my time.

“Junie? What’s wrong?” Dreux asked, snapping me out of the thoughts that were going crazy in my head.

“Nothing, I’m fine. What are we talking about?”

“Me coming face-to-face with Korey after all this time,” Draya said.

“Girl, you need to give my brother another chance. I know that you think he fucked up, but he was adamant that the girl was lying, so you should have believed your man.”

“Even if his history makes it hard? You would rather your big sister be unhappy with him?”

“You weren’t always unhappy, and you know that. You love that man’s dirty drawers.” I kept it real with her.

My sister and Korey had the perfect relationship. I didn’t know where it went wrong, but he treated her like a queen. Even though they weren’t together, he still wouldn’t speak ill of her. He made sure he showed her the utmost respect, which I respected more than anything in the world. He was a way better man than Jace, but I was stuck with this nigga.

“How are things with you and Jace?”

“Not good. He’s texting me right now, telling me that I need to come home and spend time with him. He doesn’t want me to go to the club, but he has to understand that I’m sick of being locked in the house like I’m on house arrest. Montana is with Mommy for the night, so I’m going to have me some girl fun with my favorite girls,” I told them, but I knew that when I got home, I would be getting my ass beat. He had warned me already that if I left, he was gonna hurt me.

“I never liked his ass. He’s possessive and acts like just because you have a baby with him and that y’all are together, it means you belong to him. He needs to get it through his head that’s not the way it works,” Draya chimed in.

I nodded my head in agreement. “He doesn’t care about none of that. I’ve told him numerous times that I’m not his property.”

I couldn’t tell them what was really going on behind those double doors that led to the horror house I lived in with this man. I knew that my sister would try to kill him or send him to jail. The last thing I needed was for him to go after the people I loved all because he wanted me in the house.

“That nigga is insecure. That’s what you call that. But he is out there . . . never mind.” Dreux stopped. I knew she knew something that I didn’t know, and I wished that she would tell me so that I could ask him about it. I’d put up with so much dealing with this man. I needed a break from him. Shit, a long-ass break. A break I may not come back from.

“What?”

“I was just about to say, the way he treats you is bullshit. The way he’s out here acting like he’s single when he’s not. I don’t know how you put up with it, but I guarantee I wouldn’t be able to.”

“Oh, well, I kind of knew what I was getting myself into when I got with him.”

“That doesn’t mean he has to treat you the way he does. I don’t know how you put up with that, because I would have been gone upside his head,” Draya chimed in while putting another blunt to her mouth and lighting it.

The whole time I was thinking, y’all don’t know the half of it. I kept it to myself because I didn’t want anybody to judge me for staying with him. My sister didn’t know what I went through. Shit, I didn’t even open up to my mother and father about it. They would all be pissed if they found out the shit I really went through in that house.

My phone dinged, making me pick it up and look at it.

Jace: I’m going to be at the club tonight just to drag yo’ ass out. You got me fucked up if you think you just about to be in the fucking club.

I had to get myself together before responding because I didn’t want to say anything that would make him go crazy and pop up at my sister’s house.

Me: Jace, you act like I go out all the time. You’re the one who’s all the way in the club, and it’s been years since I went out. Shit, you won’t even let me go out with you.

Those three dots popping up let me know that he was responding, and I was scared of what he might say.

Jace: I wouldn’t give a fuck.

Setting my phone down, I decided not to respond.

“Jace must be texting you,” Draya said, leaning forward and grabbing my ringing phone. Once she had it in her hand, I knew there was no stopping her from answering. And when she did, I could hear Jace yelling threats.

“Nah, you ain’t gon’ do shit to my sister, nigga. You got her fucked up. You can come to that club and act a fool if you want to, but I can guarantee that you won’t be walking away!” she snapped at him.

Getting up, I tried to grab the phone from her, and she looked at me like I was crazy. “Don’t go back and forth with him. That’s what he wants,” I tried to convince her so that she wouldn’t argue with him. She was only making the situation worse. I knew when I got home he was gonna make me hurt.

“Is he putting his hands on you or something? I don’t like how scared you are right now.”

“No, he’s not, but I know he’s gonna come here,” I said, obviously scared. I knew the shit was written all over my face.

“And he won’t leave this bitch alive. I love my niece, but I can tell you that if he comes here with his shit, I will leave Montana fatherless.”

I knew she was serious, and that was why I loved my sister. She would never let a man do me any kind of way if she could stop it. This here Jace, though, was somebody she couldn’t stop. That man would do whatever he could to get to me, and he let it be known that he wouldn’t care who he had to go through. If he couldn’t get to me, then he would make me pay by going after those I loved. That was the shit I didn’t want, so it was another reason for me to stay. I knew for a fact that his ass didn’t have it all.

For the rest of the evening, we got loaded and talked until it was time to go. Standing from the sofa, I went upstairs to a guest bedroom and went straight into the restroom so that I could take a quick shower. I was in and out in ten minutes. Putting my short, ruffled blue off-the-shoulder dress on, I sat down and put on some matching heels, then looked in the mirror. Seeing that the slight bruise from that black eye he had given me was still visible, I put some makeup on, then added some nude lip gloss and walked right back out of the room. On the way downstairs, I stopped at my sister’s bedroom and walked inside.

“Bitch, you don’t know how to knock when you come in somebody’s room?” she asked, sitting on the bed with no clothes on.

“Don’t act like you have nothing I haven’t seen before.”

Rolling her eyes, she got off the bed and started to get dressed. By the time she was finished, she had on a black miniskirt and a short red blouse, and she’d donned some strapped heels that had fur on the end of them. We both got in front of her full-length mirror. We stared at each other with smiles on our faces, knowing we were some bad bitches.

“You bitches looking cute,” Dreux said, stepping into the room, dressed in some ripped skinny jeans, a shirt that stopped just underneath her breasts, and some knee-high boots.

“I need a brush.”

“Here,” Draya said, handing me hers.

I brushed my hair before parting it in the middle. I was now ready to go have me some fun. I was a little worried about the shit that Jace had said, but I knew for a fact that if he tried to drag me out of that club, my sister would have my back. She wouldn’t let it go down like that.

“Let’s go.”

We all walked out of the bedroom, then headed downstairs and out the front door. I hopped right in the front seat, and Dreux got in the back. Putting a pre-rolled blunt to my full lips, I lit it and took a long pull from it before holding the smoke in. I wanted to be lit. That way I didn’t have to worry about Jace being there. Maybe Dreux was right and the nigga was insecure. I didn’t know why because there wasn’t another nigga I wanted to be with. Shit, I didn’t even know if I wanted to stay with his ass.

“I pray to God that Jace don’t be there acting a fool.”

“He can try that shit if he wants to, but I can guarantee you he’s gonna see another side of me. One that he hasn’t seen in a long-ass time. He knows how I give it up,” Draya chimed.

“And if he does act a fool, you need to be doing the same thing. Why the fuck he trying to check you, and he’s in the club as well?” Dreux said, making me nod my head.

“I hate acting up in public. It always gives the woman a fucked-up reputation. Y’all know I’m not the confrontational kind.”

“And that’s why bitches always coming to you with shit about that nigga, because you don’t do anything about it. He would have me fucked all the way up, and that’s on everything I love.”

I knew they were telling me the truth, but it didn’t stop the way I felt. I didn’t know why, but I felt like shit was about to go down tonight, and I didn’t even want to be around when it did. I was slowly regretting going out tonight.

I wasn’t the type to ever let a nigga do me any kind of way. I always made sure I let them know from jump that I was not the one to be played with. I may have been pretty on the outside and sweet and quiet on the inside, but one thing I would not tolerate was a nigga doing me the way my friend was sitting up here letting her baby daddy do her. Jace would have some issues on his hands if I were her.

As soon as we walked into the club, all eyes fell on us, and it felt good. I knew I looked good, and that was something nobody could ever take from me. I was a mixed breed, my momma black and my father white. I grew up getting bullied most of my life because people called me a half-and-half pit bull. That was until I got cool with Draya and Junie, the craziest bitches in Houston. They didn’t take no shit, and they taught me not to as well. Now I was confused as to why Junie was letting Jace do her any kind of way and she wasn’t doing anything about it. That was the exact reason I didn’t have a man now. I just was not that bitch.

“This ho is crazy lit,” Draya whispered in my ear while her hand was on the small of my back. We were trying to stick together until we reached our section, but with how rowdy the dance floor was, I didn’t think we were going to be able to.

“I swear, I’m about to smack a bitch if one more bumps into me,” I said, and we both laughed, knowing I was telling the truth. I could understand motherfuckers having fun and shit, but the least they could do was make sure they were dancing to where they didn’t touch or bump into anyone else.

When we finally made it to our section, I plopped down on the sofa, immediately grabbed the bottle that was waiting for us, and popped it. I needed this.

“Shots for everybody!” I yelled, pouring us each a shot.

“Bitch, you stay trying to get a nigga drunk.” Junie giggled, taking the cup.

Putting mine in the air, I toasted, “I know that this has been a busy year for all of us, but we’re back. We have to keep having nights like this because I miss you hoes.”

We all downed our shots. Clearing my throat, I coughed a little bit because of the burning sensation as it went down my throat. I looked out to the dance floor. Seeing Jace and Korey in a section with women dancing in front of them made me shake my head. I touched both Draya and Junie while throwing a nod in their direction. You could tell that Jace’s mind was elsewhere. He was probably looking for Junie.

“I know this nigga not in the club when he’s supposed to have his son,” Draya said. In a split second, she was out of the section exit and walking up to Korey.

I followed closely behind her, but Junie stayed put. Stepping inside of their section, all I could hear was Draya going off on Korey. He was sitting there, nodding his head and licking his lips while she talked.

“Where’s your girl?” Jace asked.

“Minding her business, something you don’t want her to do. . . .