Chapter 1
The first thing I’m aware of is the light filtering through my eyelids. It’s not the bright, perky light that alerts one straightaway that it’s morning, nor is it the artificial fluorescence belonging to flickering overhead lamps. It’s muted. Gray. Just there, a constant, irritating presence.
Rolling over, I commit myself to falling back to sleep, but the gray pallor invades and prompts the nagging feeling that I’m not where I usually am when I wake up. The smell is different, slightly musty, like the windows have been left open during a storm, and from the extra firm feel of the mattress, this isn’t my bed. And the light . . . it should be shining in from the right side of the bed but is coming from the left.
What the hell?
My eyes pop open and seconds later, I’m fully awake and rigidly sitting in a strange bed in a strange room. My eyes dart from one thing to the next, trying to find something familiar, something to ground me, but there’s nothing. I open my mouth to call out only to smother my cry at the last moment, wondering if it will bring some unwanted stranger with unwanted ideas. Panic looms in my chest, a weight that threatens to pull me down even as I struggle with the sheets entangling my limbs, tying me to the bed from which I’m trying to free myself. Whimpering, I pull at the twisted bedding, my fear hampering my progress. Breathing hard, I yank once more and almost fall to the floor.
I pass my hands over my eyes and slap my cheeks a few times to jog my memory. It doesn’t help. And worse, the disturbing suspicion that someone is watching my every move overwhelms me. I look around, my hands clutching the bottom edge of my oversized T-shirt and pulling it down to my thighs. Two doors stand partially open, and I quickly glance into each room—a bathroom and closet—before pulling them both shut. The dark void beneath the bed mocks me, so I drop to my knees to inspect under there as well.
I’m alone.
I take a few deep breaths and try to calm my racing heart. There’s no immediate danger, but I’m not about to let down my guard. I lick my lips, swallow, and rise to my feet, frowning. Glancing furtively around me, I slink to a window to get my bearings. I want to know what I’m up against. I see trees; I see I’m on the second story of a house, a pretty large one from what I can tell; I see that there are no people around, and I see water. Lots of it.
I’m deathly afraid of water.
Opening the window and lifting the screen, I lean out over the ledge—heights don’t bother me. But as I inspect my surroundings, all I can discern are the undulating ripples of an endless expanse of water. There’s a yard, sure, but my eyes aren’t drawn to the mundane. All my mind can grasp are the waves gently lapping the shore. Gently lapping. My fingernails dig into the ledge. Who am I kidding? They’re crashing, pounding, banging as far as I’m concerned.
My stomach turns, and I shove away from the window. Usually, I have no problem looking at water. When I sit on a beach, I can watch the waves for hours, their hypnotizing movement lulling me into a sense of calm, but unless I’m taking a shower or drinking a glass of it, I won’t go near it. I can. But it’s not advised. Swimming? Forget it. And now, being in a place I don’t recognize with a whole bunch of it literally dozens of yards before me? Not helping anything.
I force myself to breathe in and out slowly and close my eyes to focus solely on inhaling and exhaling. I learned this technique in meditation classes, and it has always helped in the past, but instead of soothing me, I imagine streams of bluish-green water invading my nostrils and filling my mouth.
Gasping, I drop to my knees and crawl over to the bed. I yank the blanket off to wrap around me, over me, hiding me away, protecting me from the liquid that threatens to swallow me alive. I’d almost prefer there be a stranger in the room to the knowledge of what’s out there surrounding the house. Once again, I focus on my breathing. Inhale, exhale, breathe, relax, and for the next few minutes, these four words become my mantra as my mind whirls with my terror, and I fight to hold on to all I do know.
My name is Eve. I’m twenty-eight. I know where I work. I know where I live. I know what I had for breakfast yesterday morning down to the number of bacon slices. Today should be Sunday. I never sleep past seven o’clock, and although there’s no clock, I’m banking on that still being the case. What else? Oh yeah, there’s a hell of a lot of water out there, and I’m sitting under a blanket on the floor of a strange room, talking to myself about what I remember so I don’t drive myself crazy thinking about the things I forgot.
Wait. Relax, Reflect, Release.
The words pop into my head at the same time as the certainty that I’m on a retreat. The memory is vague, negligible, but it’s enough for me to cling to, and cling I do. I let the blanket drop below my shoulders and open my eyes. The room, though dark with the drab light coming in through the window, is quite big. There’s a seating area in one corner with two overstuffed chairs and accompanying poufs and a square table between the chairs large enough to accommodate a breakfast tray in addition to the small lamp that already sits there. The bed is one of those four-poster deals with voluminous white sheets pushed to each of the four corners. The floors are made of white oak, and everything from the chairs to the bed to the oversized rug is decorated in shades of white, creams, and beiges. Of course, I’m on a retreat.
My eyes widen as I remember. I found this place in an ad—an old Victorian manor in a remote location renting out rooms for solo retreats. There were no pictures, and the luxury of the room is not what I was expecting. The ad made the place sound old, antiquated, even a bit rundown. I vaguely remember something about a haunting as well, and it’s exactly the reason I wanted to come. My sister and I absolutely love the strange and bizarre, and she’s totally into any place that could potentially contain anything paranormal. I thought I’d check the place out on my own—I was due a week of vacation anyway—and getting away from the hustle and bustle of everyday life had me thinking the place being a retreat would just be a bonus. If it turned out to be nothing more than an old house, I wouldn’t have wasted my sister’s time.
I walk over to the door of the bathroom and peek inside. Now that I’m actually focusing, it’s just as luxurious as the room in which I obviously slept. I smile. Not too shabby. Then, I walk over to the closet, open it, and look in at where all my clothes are already hanging and placed on shelves.
But I don’t remember doing that.
Suddenly the calm I felt in remembering where I am turns to anxiety over all the things I’m forgetting, like how I got here, where here is exactly, and why I’m having such a hard time remembering everything in the first place. There’s something else I’m forgetting too. I know there is. A memory niggles at the back of my mind like the words of a song that are just on the tip of my tongue. The thought eludes me, delving deeper into the folds of my mind to escape my grasp.
Grabbing a pair of capris and a yellow tunic, I quickly go through my morning routine. I can sit here and wait for the answers to come to me, or I can go out and find them, and although I hate having to ask for help, more from timidity than actually receiving it, I know that in this case, it has to be done.
Inhaling deeply, I look to the last door in the room, the one that’s firmly shut, and tossing one last glance at the room around me, I throw my shoulders back and march toward it.
It’s time to get some answers.
Chapter 2
I don’t know which way to turn when I step out of the doorway. A long, dimly lit hall of equal distance on either side of the door meets my gaze. The hall is nothing like the bedroom I just left. Dark wood wainscoting covers the walls from floor to ceiling, and the dim light is coming from electric sconces spaced roughly six feet apart. The floors are also of dark wood, maybe walnut, giving me the feeling that I’m entering a tunnel or a funhouse. Choosing to go right, I quietly make my way, trying to be as quiet as possible in case other residents are resting or sleeping. I pass by door upon door, at least a dozen, many of them open. I try to look into them peripherally, but I don’t see much, and I don’t dare to peer into the rooms straight-on lest I see someone glaring at me for having the audacity to do so.
There’s no noise besides my footsteps, and I start to wonder if I went the wrong direction when I see the same dull gray light from my bedroom streaming in through a stained-glass window at the end of the hall. The colors cascade from their Art Deco design onto the walnut floor just in front of it. The soft, muted, soothing peaches and greens all but disappear, almost as if they are absorbed, when they reach the flooring. The window is on a landing with a staircase that splits off in opposite directions, the front and back of the house, I assume. One set of stairs is wider and grander than the other, and I choose those to walk down. I don’t want to go to parts of the house that are off limits, and the “good” stairs are for guests, or so I’ve read.
So far, despite the water outside, the inside’s in keeping with what I was hoping for. It’s eclectic and a bit creepy and definitely has potential as a place I would bring my sister. I hope there are scary stories about it, mysterious and strange. And it would be really cool if there was a ghost or two—as long as they were more like Casper and less like the green blob in Ghostbusters.
Walking down the stairs, I can picture it at Christmas with garland and fairy lights woven between the railings, and when I get to the bottom, opposite the stairs is a living room, again in sharp contrast to the hallway and stairs I just left. It has vaulted ceilings and overstuffed couches and chairs. In keeping with similar décor from the bedroom, everything is elegant and stylish—in hues of cream, beige and brown—yet understated and calming.
I pass by several closed doors and come upon the kitchen. It’s not empty. From the doorway, I watch as an older man and woman prepare breakfast, and the way they move tells me they’ve been with one another for a long time. They move through the kitchen in synchronization, their own little dance. The man opens an upper cupboard just as the woman bends over to put something in the dishwasher. When she rises, he arches his arm and turns sideways to allow her to pass by him without touching. By the time he takes out two coffee mugs and places them on the counter, she has gracefully turned around to drop in two tea bags and pour boiling water from the kettle she took from the stove. They smile at each other, and I’m tempted to back out of the room to allow them their privacy. The woman sees me though, and their moment is gone.
“Well now! Look what we have here. Good morning!” the woman exclaims as I walk into the room. The man gives a wave of his hand. Shyly, I make my way around the kitchen, my back straight but my eyes lowered. “Good morning,” I mumble, feeling awkward. “I smelled breakfast. Smells good.”
“Why, thank you! And there’s plenty of it. Sit yourself down at the table and let me fix you up a plate.” The woman smiles as she leads me to a chair. It’s a kind smile, and then she pointedly regards the man before going over and opening a cupboard to get a plate.
The man clears his throat, nods at me in acknowledgment, and begins to speak. “The name’s Hammond. This here—” he points to the woman— “is Gail.” He clears his throat again. “I guess you’d call us the caretakers of the manor.”
Their familiarity with the place makes sense. “It’s nice to meet you. I’m Eve.”
Gail smiles. “We know.”
A frown furrows my brow. “This is going to sound crazy, but I—” I look around the kitchen, wondering how I’m going to sound when I tell them. “I really have no idea where this place is or how I got here.”
Gail again eyes Hammond and then comes over to sit in the chair beside me, an empty plate in her hand. “What do you remember, dear?”
“I know that this is a manor offering individual rooms for solo retreats, but that’s pretty much it. I don’t remember anything else. I mean, I must have gotten here yesterday considering I woke up in a bedroom upstairs—very comfortable, by the way—but that’s about it. Is anyone else here?”
“We like to keep to ourselves,” Hammond practically spits. It doesn’t sound like he carries the same opinion as the we he refers to.
Gail tsks at Hammond before turning back to me. “This house used to thrive,” she says with a smile. “But for the last decade or so, we’ve taken a hit. Perhaps it’s something we’ve done . . .” For a moment, she’s quiet before she shakes her head as if to dispel unpleasant thoughts, then smiles again and gets up to walk to the stove. “But you’re here now,” she says while she loads up the plate, “and maybe that’s exactly what is needed.”
Gail brings back the plate heaped with bacon, eggs, and toast, sets it in front of me, and takes a seat beside me once again. Hammond goes to the refrigerator, takes out some orange juice, and grabs a glass from the cupboard before bringing both over to the table. He then collects the mugs of tea and sets one in front of Gail before sitting across from me with the other.
“So, where are we exactly? Why don’t I remember anything?”
“I suppose you’ll remember when you’re good and ready,” says Hammond gruffly. “People are always in a hurry to get things all squared away. Give yourself a chance.”
I take a bite of the eggs and nod. He has a point. My mom always says that patience is a virtue—not one I was born with very much of. And it did take me a little while to remember why I’m here.
“I think when you got here, you had a bit of a shock,” Gail says, her eyes filled with meaning.
The water. Of course. “Did I faint or something? I saw the water from the bedroom window… I-I’m afraid of water.”
“You know, that may be it. We are on an island, you know.”
“Wait, we’re on an island?”
“Why, yes.”
“That’s impossible.” I shake my head as if that will change anything. There is no way I would step foot on a boat unless the boat was on land and planning on staying there, so how I made it onto an island, I have no idea.
“Can you tell me anything else? Is there anyone else here?” I asked before and wasn’t given a straight answer. I wonder if I’ll get one this time.
Gail opens her mouth once again to speak, but Hammond only glances at her with his dark eyes and she closes it as if afraid she might say something that would go against his wishes. He turns to me and I feel uncomfortable under his scrutiny. He’s tall and formidable and reminds me in both looks and mannerisms of Lurch, the manservant from The Addams Family. At length, he opens his mouth and even though I’ve already heard him speak, I expect one of Lurch’s inarticulate moans and am surprised by actual words. “We don’t get many visitors anymore. You’re the first one.”
My eyes widen in shock. “In a decade?”
Hammond harrumphs and Gail nods. I should feel troubled about the circumstances of my arrival, and I do. There’s no reason I should forget how I got here, but the house is getting more and more interesting, and the circumstances of my arrival are seeming less and less important.
Gail misinterprets my silence as uneasiness. “Oh, you poor dear. I’m sure it’ll all come back to you eventually. You just need to relax and reflect.”
Relax and reflect. It’s what I remembered earlier, and it makes me wonder if I’ve met Gail before, even though she’s not familiar. “You said you knew who I was. Did I meet you yesterday?”
“We couldn’t meet you yesterday.” I’m kind of surprised Hammond speaks up again, and when my eyes move across to him, he isn’t looking at me but at Gail. “We were busy.”
It’s so abrupt; I’m waiting for there to be more, but there’s nothing but silence.
“I’m sorry, Eve. Is your breakfast cold? Do you want me to heat it up for you?”
Both Gail and Hammond get up from the table, and Gail snatches my plate before I have a chance to tell her not to worry. Within seconds, she places a fresh plate of food in front of me and Hammond is gathering the mugs of tea, although I don’t think I saw either of them so much as take a sip.
Whereas Hammond favors Frankenstein’s monster, complete with a somewhat disheveled black jacket, Gail looks like someone’s friendly grandmother. Her hair is pulled up in a stereotypical bun, the wrinkles around her eyes make me think she’s only shown kindness, and she’s wearing a long-sleeved gray dress that whispers against her ankles and is covered by a long white apron. I can only hope her demeanor matches her appearance, which so far seems encouraging, even though I haven’t been in the presence of either long enough to know much at all.
I take a few bites of the eggs and then eat a piece of bacon. The details of the retreat may be foggy, but what’s foremost in my mind is whether I’ll be able to explore or if I’ll be relegated to only a few rooms. My heart is hammering in my chest, but I have to ask. “Do you mind if I look through the rooms? I’m not just restricted to my room and here, am I?”
Hammond snorts, and when I glance at him, I see a genuine smile. “No, child. You’re not our hostage, you know. You came to us, remember?” He chuckles and then loses his smile as he gives a wet cough before continuing. “You’ll have access to all the rooms for your explorations.” He nods his head to emphasize his declaration. “No sense being here without looking into things. Just realize that there may be some rooms you won’t be able to go into on certain days. Our work requires us to close some rooms off occasionally.”
I nod my head enthusiastically, unable to tamp down on my excitement of being able to explore the whole manor. “I totally understand. I don’t want to intrude. If I’m somewhere I’m not supposed to be, just tell me.”
Gail smiles and comes over to pat my shoulder. “This is your home while you’re here, so there’s no reason not to see as much as you can. Everyone should be comfortable in their home. Don’t you agree?”
Before I can nod, she tilts her head and her eyes become distant. “Everybody needs to take account of their lives at some point. Looking at the past helps us figure out the future and all that.” She shakes her head and her eyes once again focus on me. “You make sure to come see us if you’re ever feeling lonely though.”
Gail pats my back again, and although I’m not in the habit of having people I just met touch me, the warm press of her hand is reassuring. “You’re here now. Enjoy the time you’re with us, won’t you?”
Before I can answer, Gail inhales sharply, her spine rigid as she stares toward the door I entered. Her eyes hold disbelief, and I’m almost frightened to turn around. I do though, and gape at the person I see every day in the mirror and the one I grew up sharing secrets with. Lyn stares back with wide eyes and an O-shaped mouth.
“Eve,” she exclaims, rushing forward.
I feel a mixture of relief and dread at seeing her. Relief because I won’t be doing this alone. It’s always more fun to have someone else tagging along, especially when there’s the possibility of finding something strange and unusual. And dread because, because, and that’s where I stop. I don’t know why I feel dread or if it’s dread at all. Maybe it’s just disappointment. Not at Lyn, but maybe because she’s here? It’s all so contradictory—my feelings and my logic as well.
Hoping my emotions don’t show on my face, I spring out of my chair and hug Lyn. I may be feeling some misgivings, but she’s a reminder of the life I have away from all this, and I love her.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, pulling away from her so I can see her face.
“What am I doing here? Eve, what are we doing here?” Lyn demands at the same time Gail’s voice has become a stunned squawk as she moves around the room for no apparent reason, her arms flapping in the air.
“This is highly irregular! Highly irregular, indeed!”
And Hammond is muttering, “Well, this is interesting,” as he eyes my sister with curiosity.
For a few moments, all is chaos.
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