The Grand Illusion

by John Russell Fearn, Vargo Statten

Genres: Science Fiction; Sci-fi Action & Adventure; Space Opera

Synopsis

Dudley Carnforth, gifted beyond the average with the 'gift of the gab', and also a 'jack-of-all-trades' scientific and master of none, decides that the time has come to end his grasshopper leaping from one job to another and do something really arresting which will put him on top of the world. Born in an age where space travel is just around the corner but not yet accomplished, he conceives the notion of pooling the many sciences he almost understands and producing therefrom a master plan for the conquest of space...

Release date: September 30, 2015

Publisher: Gateway

Print pages: 89

Sample

Dudley Carnforth was one of those unique individuals who possessed the unenviable quality of being able to talk himself right out of a job. The main reason for this was his almost objectionable self-assurance. According to him there was no subject upon the face of the Earth which he did not understand, but when it came to proving his assertions he was hopelessly lost. To hear him talk one would imagine he understood all the mysteries of radio, electronics, space travel, rocket missiles, remote control, and all the other sidelines of science common to this year of 1972. It was in fact his supposed far-reaching knowledge of electronics which had gained him the position of engineer in the big northern firm of Electronics Limited, but when it came to a vital point and he was appealed to for his opinion, it proved to be so hopelessly off the track that the next thing he knew was he had been discharged.

Not that this fact seemed to make any outward impression upon him. To see him strolling along one of the main streets of the city after his dismissal one would have thought that, instead of being fired, he had just become the recipient of a fortune. He always possessed a broad and infectious smile, and indeed was more or less a likeable fellow. His self-assurance seemed to be registered in his stop-short nose, unruly mass of red hair and his general air of know-how.

He always walked with an unintentional swagger, which gave the impression that he was a man of considerable influence and far more accustomed to giving orders than receiving them. He was indeed what an early school would have called a “show-off.” In point of fact he knew a great deal about many subjects, but the trouble was that he had never taken the necessary pains to fully master any of them. He had entirely relied on his tremendous gift of the gab and apparent knowledge to secure for himself a more or less spasmodic life.

The one person he could not fool was Elsie Digby. She was his fiancee, and more than once she had wondered whether she ought not to have her head examined for being the potential wife of this decidedly vacillating young man, for he obviously had no settled future, was more or less always telling her of either having just taken or having just left some particular job somewhere, and yet in spite of it all Elsie remained by his side. She knew that he had sterling qualities and she excused his erratic behaviour on the grounds that his ability was sadly misdirected. If he could but once find a way to marshal his various abilities into one complete channel he would probably finish up as the governing director of some highly important concern.

So then it came as no surprise to Elsie Digby on this particular day to learn that Dudley had again been discharged on account of not being able to fulfil the glowing promise that he had at first shown to his employers. At lunch that day in the little café which they always selected for their daily rendezvous Elsie heard all the details, and though it meant that Dudley was completely out of a job and with no immediate prospects of getting another one, he did not appear in the least disturbed.

“Just one of those things,” he concluded, shrugging, when at last he had told his story. “You know, Elsie, the trouble with these big fellows is they don’t realise my true worth. If they’d only give me time to be able to work things out I’d startle them all right. The trouble is they always want everything done on the spur of the moment—and that is, of course, quite impossible, especially to a man who needs to meditate long and earnestly as I do.”

“If you need to meditate long and earnestly,” Elsie said bluntly, “you should make that clear to your employers in the first place, and not give the impression that you’re some kind of jet-propelled Einstein. Naturally when you’re found out there’s trouble! Just how much longer do you propose to go on imitating a shuttlecock and keep getting yourself batted from job to job?”

Dudley grinned. “I’ve not the least idea. In fact, to tell the truth, I can’t understand why I don’t hold a job down. I know so much about so many things—electronics, astronomy, physics, jet-propulsion—all those things, and yet not enough about any one of them to be able to convince a firm that I’m worth keeping. To say the least of it, it’s pretty disconcerting.”

Elsie became silent for a moment as the waitress brought the lunch, then after a while she said:

“The only way out of your difficulty, Dud, is to select one of the many subjects that you do know and learn it so thoroughly that you make yourself the master of it!”

“Yes,” Dudley agreed, thinking. “But that might take several years. I’m not one who likes a great deal of concentration. In other words, there ought to be an easier way of earning a living than that!”

“Well, I don’t believe that there is, and you’ll never pin yourself down to anything worthwhile until you really take yourself in hand and apply your knowledge to one particular task! In fact, if you want me to remain beside you that is exactly what you have got to do. The only other alternative which would make me cling to you without that necessity would be your suddenly coming into a fortune, and I hardly consider that a very likely possibility. Do you?”

“Hardly,” Dudley grinned. “In fact in all this world I have nobody related to me, and certainly not anybody who is likely to leave me a fortune. The only way I’ll ever make a fortune is to do it myself—as usual!”

“Well, if self-assurance and the gift of the gab was anything to do with it I should think that you ought to be an outstanding success.”

Dudley was silent for a moment or two, for once really serious. His eyes moved slowly over the girl seated opposite him, taking in features with which he was already well acquainted. Elsie was a good-looking girl, but by no means a beauty. Her nose was too long to be the dream of an artist, and her cheekbones were far too high; but she had nonetheless a certain smiling cheerfulness about her and all the strange things Dudley did never seemed to overshadow her in any way. She was what is called in general parlance a “man’s girl.” By which generalism is meant that she could usually understand the other fellow’s point of view.

“If only,” Dudley said slowly, “something could be done about space travel. There we have one of the greatest possibilities of this century, and yet scientists keep on meddling around with it and don’t produce anything definite. We’ve had guided missiles going up thousands of miles beyond the Earth’s atmosphere, manned entirely by remote control and carrying with them instruments which have recorded the conditions existing in inter-stellar space, but the dream of the man-driven projectile, or spaceship, seems as far off as ever. Now there really is a field for conquest if only I could think of the way to get into it!”

Elsie looked up from her meal and gave a sigh.

“What in the world is the use of turning your attention to a field of science which is so extremely difficult?” she demanded. “For the love of heaven, Dud, stick to the point and try and develop one of the sciences which you do understand! Space travel is about the most high-flown thing that you could possibly choose—and anyway it’s better left to the experts to try and sort it out.”

“Maybe,” Dudley seemed to be musing deeply—so much so that his lunch lay neglected on his plate before him.

“How do you mean—maybe?” Elsie asked. “There’s absolutely nothing you can do about space travel, and you know it!”

“On the contrary, Elsie, I’m just wondering if space travel isn’t really the field that I ought to choose for development, for the simple reason that I understand all the sciences connected with it—that is jet-propulsion, astrophysics, remote control radio——”

“But you don’t understand any of them thoroughly,” Elsie insisted, beating her small fist on the edge of the table. “A smattering of all those sciences is no use whatever. You’ve got to know the details of every one if you are ever to attempt anything in the field of interplanetary travel. And I still maintain that you’re barking up the wrong tree: space travel is not a job for you to tackle. Get yourself the master of a straightforward subject and let it go at that.”

Elsie had grey eyes, and at times they could look extremely determined. They looked that way now—not that this seemed to have any effect on Dudley, for he gave a slow, enigmatic smile.

“You know something?” he asked pensively, “I’ve just tumbled on to what I think is the greatest idea of this century—and if it is handled properly there is no reason why it should not make me a fortune. You said a little while ago that you are quite satisfied that I have the gift of the gab?”

“No doubt about it! If talking could do anything I should think you’d be able to move the entire Earth out of its orbit!”

“That will not be necessary at the moment, but I do think that I can put over the greatest engineering feat of all time and interest sundry big financiers into the bargain! Look, I’ll tell you what I’ll do, Elsie. I’ll make a bargain with you that in six months from today, which will be July 10th, I’ll have my name in every newspaper and in every radio and television newscast, as well as being the possessor of a fortune. Is that a deal or isn’t it?”

Elsie laughed shortly. “Depends what you’re intending to do.”

“I’m going to conquer space,” Dudley replied calmly. “I’ve just thought of a remarkably neat way of doing it, and it can’t possibly bring any harm to me. I’m pretty well assured that the initial take-off and everything else can be endured by a flesh-and-blood frame, and I’m also equally sure that my knowledge of astrophysics will be quite sufficient to put the project over. It will mean that I shall have to maintain absolute secrecy as to my activities, even from you—and that is the one part I don’t like, for up to now we have shared all our secrets.”

Elsie did not look particularly convinced. She knew of old Dudley’s amazing ideas, which never seemed to amount to anything, so there did not seem to be any particular reason why this should not be just another of them. Certainly she did not feel it incumbent upon her to take the business seriously. Finally she said:

“I’m not going to be so disloyal to you as to say that I will not accept your proposition that in six months you will have accomplished all that you say—but do forgive me if at this point I am extremely doubtful of you accomplishing anything more than you have done already. As for your going into space, where the cleverest engineers and astrophysicists have failed, I frankly doubt it.”

Dudley chuckled. “Only natural that you will do, and I don’t blame you in the least for that. But this happens to be one of the greatest ideas th. . .