Chapter 1
Liv
“Morning, gorgeous!” Nick’s voice woke me, as it did every morning. It was a sound
that I’d never tire of if I lived until I was a hundred.
Groaning as I sat up, I always tried to smile at him, no matter how much I was
hurting. I should have felt awkward about Nick entering my bedroom every morning,
but he was my best friend and had been since we were kids. That he was the most
handsome man I’d ever set eyes on and a billionaire wasn’t a concern when he
brought me a daily cup of tea.
After placing the cup on my bedside cabinet, he walked around to the other
side of the bed, put his cup on the other cabinet, and sat on top of my covers. I doubt
he would ever realise that watching him move around my bedroom was one of the
highlights of my day. I could never tire of the way he carried himself, all six feet of
muscular masculinity without the swagger of arrogance that someone else in his
situation would display.
That wasn’t to say that he was never arrogant; he had two older brothers who
were masters at the art, and he could compete with the best of them, but when he
was with me, he was just Nick. My Nick.
“How’s everything this morning?” he asked, leaning over and kissing my
cheek.
“Situation normal, which is good. It wasn’t too rough of a night.” I picked up
my cup and took a welcome sip. I have a chronic condition, more than one if we’re
being honest. Mornings were the worst for waking up groggy from the medication I
had to take every day. Added to the stiffness and pain in my joints, no matter how
comfortable my bed was, it was ideal to have a drink and let my joints and mind
come around at their own pace.
In normal circumstances, living on my own, it would have been up to me to
get anything I needed. That defeated the object of coming around slowly, but Nick
had stepped in years ago. Whatever he was doing, wherever he’d been the night
before, he came around and spent some time with me first thing every morning.
I’d made a passing comment very early on after my diagnosis, where I’d
innocently mentioned that I wished I had a butler. It was in jest, but the following
morning, Nick let himself into my house and started this routine. I’d argued against it
at first, but Nick insisted he loved doing it because it meant that we saw each other
every morning.
“Who sent you that huge bouquet? Do you have a secret admirer you haven’t
told me about?”
“You are the one with a trail of admirers, not me.”
“The size of that bouquet would suggest otherwise.”
“It was the actor I interviewed a couple of days ago.”
“I love how you still aren’t revealing his name.”
Nick hated not knowing all the gossip and scandals I came across in my job
as a roving journalist, but sometimes I was sworn to secrecy. “There’s not a chance
I’m telling you who he is, especially as he’s offered to give me an exclusive when he
next visits London.”
“Oh really?” Nick’s expression was comical. He was always so protective of
me; it was both sweet and annoying. “Next thing he’ll want you to go and visit his
penthouse in Hollywood.”
“Now there’s a thought,” I grinned at him. “If I could persuade him to send me
business class, I’d be all for it.”
“Men like him…stop winding me up!”
“If you can’t take it, don’t give it.”
“But you’re one of the innocents in the world, who looks on the good side of
everything. People will take advantage of you if you aren’t careful.”
“I’m a journalist for goodness sake! I realise that I might not be at the cut-
throat edge of publishing, but I’m not that naïve.”
“You are my unicorn in human form.”
“What, I fart pink rainbows?”
Nick laughed. “Now that I would like to see.”
“Did you hit your head on the way over here?”
Nick grinned, his dimple peeking out. I loved that dimple when it made an
appearance. This was the real Nick, not the professional who was a wheeler-dealer
in the business world. “No, but you aren’t streetwise.”
“I’m a journalist for a woman’s magazine! How can you say that I’m anything
but savvy? I’m quite insulted that you think I’m so innocent.”
“Talking of which, are you working from home today?”
“No, I’m going into the office.” I hated that he’d asked a direct question; I
would never lie to him, but I was an expert at omitting the truth. He worried too much
about me and although I loved him for it, I hated that everyone around me thought I
couldn’t manage. That I sometimes struggled with what I could and couldn’t do was
beside the point; I wanted to be independent as much as I could, not a constant
burden to friends and family.
He frowned, the lines marring his unblemished face. I could look at his face
for hours, but I would never admit that. He was so handsome it was a crime. Smooth
olive skin, high cheekbones, and eyelashes that were wasted on a man. His dark
hair and chocolate brown eyes were the bow on a perfect package.
I wasn’t so shallow as to only be attracted by his gorgeous physical attributes;
it was the easy smile and mischievous twinkle he always had in his eyes, plus he
would go out of his way to help those he cared for. I was lucky to be one of those
people, and I treasured being able to call him my best friend. He always brightened a
room, a day, my life.
“That’s not in our calendar.”
“Because I only found out about it last night.”
“What time do you need to be there? I’ll send a car for you.”
“There’s no need, I can travel on the underground.”
“Nope. Not going to happen. What’s the point in tiring you out when there’s a
fleet of drivers at our disposal? They spend most of the day twiddling their thumbs;
we might as well use them.”
“I don’t work for you, I can’t expect you to support me so much. This is more
than enough.” I raised my cup to him. It was an argument we had at least once a
week, usually more. I couldn’t get through to Nick that I had to maintain some self-
reliance.
“You’re my best friend, I’m doing this for my ease of mind, not yours. I’ll be
panicking for the whole time you’re travelling if I think you’re on the underground.
Don’t do it to me, you know how I fret when you don’t take the sensible option.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. “The most laid back of the Worsley brothers, and
you’re trying to convince me that you spend your days worrying.”
“Only about you. I couldn’t care less about anyone else.”
“The girl who gets you is going to be one lucky woman,” I sighed. “Either that
or she is going to be driven insane by you constantly turning on the charm and
getting your own way all the time.”
“As long as it stops you from creating problems for yourself in the days to
come, I will use any tool at my disposal.”
I couldn’t resist him, I never could since the first day that we met. He had
wanted to swap snacks at lunchtime at school, and I’d refused. At six years old, he’d
charmed me and made me laugh until I’d given in. The next day, he arrived at school
with a bunch of homegrown flowers as a thank-you, and that was it – our friendship
was sealed.
I had grumbled at him and called him out on stuff far too many times over the
years for our friendship to be anything but mutual. In a lot of instances, the truth was
that he had me tied around his little finger.
“Fine, I’ll compromise, I’ll get an Uber.”
“No! A mass murderer could pick you up!”
“Stop being ridiculous.”
“I’m not. If I say to Jackson that you have refused my offer of a car and are
getting an Uber, he’ll be on the phone in no time.”
“He’s all loved up with Alice; he doesn’t scare me anymore.”
Nick laughed. “Damn. You are so right. I’ll have to tell Andy instead.”
“Fine! I’ll accept the driver, but playing dirty isn’t fair.” I didn’t think Nick would
involve his second-oldest brother, but the threat worked. Andy was a distant, cold
character, a real contrast to the other three brothers.
“Good. I’d best get going, it’s the dreaded family meeting today.” Every Friday,
the four brothers met to review the weekly tasks, which seemed to be taking over the
business and property world. It made my head spin whenever I was in their
company, and they started talking about business.
“It must be so hard counting out your billions.”
“It is, but we all have our crosses to bear. Do you need anything else from
me?”
“No. Thank you for the tea, as always.”
“You’re welcome. Right, time I was gone. Speak to you later, I’ll send Bob
back when he’s dropped me off.”
“Thanks.”
“For you, anything.” He kissed my forehead before swinging his legs off the
bed and standing. “Are you sure you don’t need anything before I go?”
“I’m absolutely positive. Now stop trying to delay, you know how aggravated
Jackson gets when you’re late.”
“Not as much as Andy,” Nick winked. “It’s such a joy to watch his blood
pressure rise.”
“Go!” I laughed.
When I heard the front door bang closed, I sank back against my pillows. The
house seemed too still when Nick left. His energy filled every place he entered, but I
always noticed it more here.
He was my best friend and the man I had been in love with since the age of
twelve. Over time, I’d started to feel different about my friend, but I knew that I would
lose him if I said anything. He had no other female friends, not close ones anyway,
and he never settled with a girl he was dating for long. A stream of broken hearts
followed Nick wherever he went.
I was the one who stayed with him, who let him rant about his parents,
schoolwork and growing up. It was me he’d turned to when his mother had left and
he’d been broken-hearted. Showing weakness in his father’s company, who the boys
all continued to live with, was not an option. Mr Worsley senior was a cold, distant
father on his good days.
We still shared everything these days, except now that we were thirty-two, he
talked about women and his brothers more than anything else. He had never seen
me as anything but a sister or even another brother, if I was being ruthlessly honest
with myself.
Just when I’d decided that I needed to tell him how I truly felt about him, even
if it meant that I would lose the best friendship I’d ever had, life suddenly changed. I
was twenty-one and overly confident with the thought that he must surely feel the
same way. It wasn’t arrogance so much as the delusions of an inexperienced young
girl.
It had taken years for me to build up the courage, but sometimes life has other
plans. For me, it was becoming ill. It stopped life, work and relationships in their
tracks.
My symptoms had started around the age of seventeen, slightly at first, but
building. By the time I’d been diagnosed, years had passed and only then was a
diagnosis of Pernicious Anaemia and Multiple Sclerosis made. It was just after I’d
decided to declare myself to Nick, presuming that I wasn’t suffering anything life-
changing. Who does when they are that age?
I’d listened to the doctor, trying to concentrate on what he was telling me, but
all I could think of was Nick. That I’d lost my chance with him.
The diagnosis made any thought of declaring myself to Nick disappear
completely. No matter how hard I tried to be independent, I was a burden to family
and friends. I could not consider tying the person I loved the most to someone who
was faulty and would only get worse as the years went by.
And that’s where I was today, madly in love with my best friend and with a
useless body that no one with any sense would want. Certainly not someone like
Nick, who was handsome, rich, and so very caring; he was the catch who could have
anyone he wanted. I certainly couldn’t compete with the women he’d dated, however
briefly he was with them, even if I’d allowed myself to dream ‘what ifs’ very
occasionally.
Shaking myself and shuffling to the edge of the bed, I decided it was time to
get up and get on with my life. I knew Nick loved me like family, and that would have
to do.
͠
I didn’t go into the office much; there was no need, but each time I did, it put a smile
on my face. No, we weren’t on Fleet Street, but we weren’t far away. The offices
were in a shared building, and it was all high-end technology inside, but the
traditional exterior helped me imagine the lives that had gone on before. It was a
vibrant part of London, not far from St Paul’s; it made me feel alive whenever I
visited. Hearing the bells at St Paul’s was something I never tired of; they seemed to
be calling out, reminding everyone that they’d been there before us and would be
there long after. It made me feel that, no matter what struggles I had, I was only a
tiny part of the history of this great city.
I knew something was wrong when I saw Tanya’s expression when I walked
into her office. My boss was a hard-nosed journalist when she wanted to be, but she
was friendly and welcoming to her staff. Today, there was no easy smile as I popped
my head around her office door.
“Morning, Olivia.” She indicated that I should take a seat.
“Olivia? Have I done something wrong?” Very few people, including Tanya,
used Olivia when speaking to me.
She rubbed her hand down her impeccable skirt before sitting down opposite
me. I wondered, not for the first time, what it would be like to be a sylphlike size
eight, instead of the plus size I was. Looking up at Tanya’s face, all thoughts of being
slim went out of my head at the seriousness of her expression.
“Sorry, Liv. It’s been one of those days.”
“It’s only eleven o’clock.”
“I know, and it’s only going to get worse.”
“Ok, warning acknowledged, what’s happening Tanya?”
“The owners have been looking at the way we’ve been working, and they’ve
decided to change our set-up. We all know that times are changing and everything is
more online than ever before.”
“Yes, but…”
“They need to cut costs and are letting all the journalists go. They will be
employing people as contributors as and when needed.”
As one of those journalists, my heart sank. “Contributors? They are giving us
a zero-hour contract.”
“Yes, they are. I’m sorry. I’ve told them that we should have some journalists
on our books, but they disagree. They argue that there are plenty out there, so why
pay the extra costs of full-time employees? I think it’s shortsighted, but it will save a
lot of money.”
I’d worked with Tanya for over five years and knew without a doubt that she
would feel this change just as much as those directly affected. “None of us will be
able to work like that. I’ve got a mortgage, but David has a wife and kids to support.
It’s impossible to live with such uncertainty. We’ll all need to try to find a full-time
position. Contributors are fine when starting out, but not when you are in your
thirties.”
“I know. Believe me, I know. I tried to persuade them that we needed our high-
quality staff to maintain our standing with the public. They know we deliver good,
factual stories about what matters, as well as the more fun articles. The powers that
be are just looking at the bottom line. It’s what happens when owners aren’t aware of
how a business runs. I shouldn’t be surprised that we’ve lasted this long. I’ve
watched as other magazines have fallen by the wayside because of changes and a
reduction in standards. I’m upset that it’s happening to us. It has a real effect on
people’s lives, and although it’s about money and survival for our owners, the cost to
the staff is never taken into account.”
“I suppose it shouldn’t come as a massive shock. Like you said, everything
has changed around us.”
“It has, but that doesn’t mean that we should change as much as is being
proposed.”
“God, I’ve loved working here.”
“I’m sorry. There is one possibility that might be a solution for you, but I’m not
sure you’ll go for it or if it’s even practical.”
“At this point, I can’t be precious; my mortgage means that I’m open to
anything.” My mind was racing about how I would pay my bills for any length of time
without a regular income. I had some savings because I rarely went out, as nights
out left me tired for days afterwards. I needed a regular income because my savings
wouldn’t last forever. If I couldn’t secure a full-time job, I would end up living back
with my parents. As much as I loved them, it would mean losing all the
independence I’d fought so hard for.
“The Manchester office is looking for a Sub-Editor, and I thought it might be
worthwhile for you to apply for it.”
“Manchester?”
“I know it’s not ideal, but with everything considered, an office position might
be just the thing. You are qualified for it, and it is a great opportunity. I know your
conditions will make it harder for you to sit at a desk all day, but they would be
obliged to make reasonable adjustments.”
Tanya had been flexible with me over the years, enabling me to work around
my conditions. “The only problem with an office job is if I have one of my regular
flare-ups. Then I need my bed, I just wouldn’t be able to get into the office at all.”
“I know, but they might consider letting you work from home on those days. It
would be great for your CV, and you would still have a job rather than relying on
whatever we can offer.”
“True.”
“Do you want me to put your name forward?”
“Yes, please. I don’t have a choice. Please don’t take that as me being
ungrateful; I am, it’s just so much to consider. When are they looking to fill the
position?”
“Suzie, who works there now, is on her two months’ notice, so they’ll want to
fill it soon. I’ll send as much work your way as I can in the meantime, but I might be
more restricted…”
We both knew what she was saying. There would be no flexibility. If I couldn’t
get the job done there and then because of how I was feeling, it would go to another
journalist who could respond immediately.
It was sickening, but that was the way things would be from now on.
Businesses needed tasks completed. I’d been fortunate to have worked with Tanya
for so long.
“Don’t worry about it; I’m going to be ok for a few months, and at the same
time, I can be looking closer to home for an alternative.”
“If I hear of anything, you’ll be the first to know.”
“Thank you. I appreciate that, but don’t put me above anyone else. I’ve only
got myself to worry about; the others have dependents. Their needs should come
first.”
“You are too nice.”
I smiled. “I’m raging inside at the owners. Believe me when I say that I’m not
as nice as I appear on the outside.”
Tanya laughed and came over and hugged me. “I will miss you, Liv.”
“I’ll miss you too.” I was genuinely sorry not to be working with her for much
longer.
As I walked out of the offices, I was glad I’d agreed to use Nick’s driver, Bob,
who had been patiently waiting for me. The last thing I needed was to fight home on
public transport when I wasn’t feeling the best. One false move that caused me to fall
would be a disaster.
“Hello Bob, thanks for waiting.”
“My pleasure. Is it straight home?”
“Yes, please.”
“No problem.”
I would typically have messaged Nick when I came out of the meeting. We
messaged each other throughout the day, but as I sat with my head leaning against
the headrest, I closed my eyes. I didn’t have the energy to speak to anyone,
especially Nick. Yes, he had been the first one I’d thought of when Tanya mentioned
moving to Manchester, but I knew he would start arguing against it, and I had to
process a move before I could speak to him.
How could I live without seeing him every morning and often in the evenings?
He was my first, last, and virtually every thought in between. Our lives were so
intertwined that I’d felt panic when Tanya had first mentioned Manchester, but then
my sensible, more pragmatic side had kicked in. I had a house to keep, well, half a
home, but the mortgage on it was still ridiculous.
But, leaving Nick? That would tear my heart apart for the second time in my
life, the first being when I’d received my diagnosis. The moment the doctor said what
I was facing, I knew that I would never get a chance with Nick, and it hit me like a
physical pain.
When I cried later, everyone thought it was because of the diagnosis, but it
was because of what could have been that I’d lost any chance with the man I was in
love with, that I was mourning, nothing else.
It seemed I would soon discover what life without Nick would be like if I landed
the Manchester position, and I desperately needed that job; not pursuing it wasn’t an
option.
Chapter 2
Liv
“What do you mean you’re moving to Manchester? What would you want to do that
for?”
“For a job, you clown, seeing as I’m about to lose the one I’ve got.”
“You might as well be going to Mars!”
“A two-hour train ride is hardly another planet,” I scoffed. Nick had arrived
after messaging me to see if I wanted a takeaway. We were now sitting, with enough
food to feed an army, and I’d taken the opportunity of telling him what had happened
while he was eating. Better to get him while he had to pause to eat.
“But Manchester!”
“I might not even get the job, but I need to plan for all eventualities.”
“Come and work for me.”
I gave Nick a look. “We would last an hour before I was trying to kill you.”
He grinned after popping a melt-in-your-mouth dim sum into his mouth and
moaning with pleasure. “What an hour it would be!”
“Thank you for the thought, but no, I love you too much to work for you.” We
always told each other that we loved one another. We did, it was just a different sort
of love I had than his. Plus, hearing sounds like the one he’d just made wouldn’t do
me any good in the long term. My stomach had clenched at the sound, and I was
thankful he hadn’t noticed my flushed cheeks. I didn’t need to hear sounds like that
to make my mind race about what it would be like to make love with Nick. My
imagination was overactive as it was; I didn’t need sound effects to be added to the
mix.
“There must be something we can do.”
“We?”
“Yes, we. Let’s think of this practically: if I can’t bring you a cup of tea in the
morning, it isn’t workable.”
I couldn’t help laughing. “That was only ever going to be a temporary
measure.”
“Why would it stop?” Nick's seriousness only made me laugh harder.
“I can just see your wife not objecting to visiting me every morning while you
sit on my bed, and we have a natter.”
“I’ve no intention of getting married.”
“Neither had Jackson.” Seeing his mouth open and close was both funny and
cute. None of the Jackson brothers enjoyed being made to realise they weren’t all-
knowing beings.
“Alice was different.”
“Yes, and so will the woman you settle down with, although she will always
have my sympathy.”
“Why?”
“The trail of broken women behind you. You haven’t had one or two exes; it
must have gone into three figures by now. Do you have a book that you list them all
in?”
“No! You cheeky mare! I’m not that bad! Anyway, I’m a changed man, I
haven’t been dating anyone for ages.”
“True, you haven’t been rampaging about town recently, I’ll give you that. I
was beginning to think that you had some Norse blood in you, going by the way you
conquer.”
“I don’t take anything that isn’t freely given, and I always make sure I leave
them completely satisfied.”
“Eww! TMI!”
“I just wanted to clarify that I’m not a selfish lover. It’s important for everyone
to know that.”
“Although a trail of broken hearts is not ideal. Surely that could be considered
as selfish?”
“I am honest from the start. If they decide to ignore what I’m saying and start
planning stuff like moving in together or worse, getting married, how is that me being
selfish?”
He was sweet when he was baffled. “If you tell them you have no intention of
settling down, it’s a challenge to most women.”
“That’s completely bonkers. Liv, you can’t just shrug when you know full well
that statement is foolish. Why would I not be believed when I say something so
serious?”
It was the same conversation we’d had a thousand times and probably would
have a thousand more. The brothers were all rich, gorgeous, and appealing, but they
weren’t vain or arrogant about their looks. Arrogance radiated off Andy for other
reasons and was used to from Jackson, but he’d mellowed since meeting Alice.
Their father would have ridiculed them if he’d seen anything like preening by
any of them. They’d grown up not giving their looks any consideration. I’m not saying
that they didn’t know they were good-looking, but they didn’t make it who they were.
Lack of vanity was about the only good thing Mr Worsley senior had done for his
sons, as he was a tyrant in every other respect.
“I can’t eat and argue, so I’m not trying to explain that one away; we’ll be here
for days.”
Nick chuckled, and we ate in silence for a few minutes. I had a takeaway just
around the corner from me, but that wasn’t good enough for Nick. He’d had a
takeaway delivered by motorbike from one of the top restaurants in the world, the
Imperial Treasure. The food was exquisite, and since I wouldn’t pay around one
hundred and fifty pounds per person for a set takeaway menu, I wasn’t about to let it
get cold.
When I couldn’t eat another mouthful, Nick boxed the leftovers up and put
them in my fridge.
“I love having such an extravagant lunch to look forward to.”
“We can always go there for lunch if you’d prefer?”
“No! I was joking! I think paying what you have for one meal is an obscene
amount of money, and I’m not encouraging you to spend more. I can eat for a week
on what you’ve spent tonight.”
“Are you struggling with money? You know you only have to say…”
“Nick, stop! You know I’m fine. Just because I wouldn’t dream of paying what
you have for a takeaway doesn’t mean I’m short of money. I am happy to eat your
food if you are daft enough to spend that amount. When it’s my turn, we go to the
local one. The Peking Duck is lovely.”
“Their spare ribs are to die for.” Nick stretched out on my sofa, his hands on
his stomach and groaning. “Will you still love me when I’m old and fat?”
“I might have to trade you in at that point. If you get fat, we will look like
Tweedle-dum and Tweedle-dee.”
Nick glared at me. “There’s nothing wrong with you; you’ve got the perfect
figure.” I opened my mouth to speak, but he held his finger up to me. “No, you are
not starting this argument, or I might have to tell your mum that you’ve been seeming
not quite right and that I think you are missing your home comforts.”
It was my time to glare at him. “Don’t you dare!”
“Stop spouting nonsense, and I won’t have to. There’s absolutely nothing that
I would change about you.”
I loved him for his words, even though they were said as a friend. I longed to
hear those words from him in another context, but I knew that I was wishing for the
impossible. He cared for me deeply, but that was it. He didn’t feel the heart-
wrenching love that I felt for him.
“That was a low blow, threatening to contact mum.” My mother’s heart was in
the right place, but good grief, she worried about me. It had been a real struggle to
leave home; she and Dad wanted me to live with them. I could understand why,
living alone made my bad days harder, but I needed the independence. Plus, with
Nick always here, it never felt like I was utterly alone.
We had gone halves on the house. I couldn’t afford to buy a house in London
on my own, but Nick said he saw it as an investment. It had taken some persuasion
because I didn’t want to be seen as taking advantage of our friendship, but I’d
agreed in the end when he said that it was also an escape for him. A place that was
a home. Having seen his apartment, I could understand why he wanted somewhere
he felt at ease. The apartment was a typical bachelor pad. I had pointed out that it
would be far cheaper to soften his stainless steel, not a thing out of place, look of his
apartment, but he’d carried on insisting.
He'd paid outright for his half, and I had a mortgage on my half. With Nick
arranging everything, I sent my mortgage payment over to him every month. I was
lazy enough to let him manage that side of things, although I insisted he had nothing
to do with the bills. I had a feeling that I wasn’t paying fifty per cent of the price of the
house, but I chose to pick my battles. I paid the bills. He might visit every day, and
occasionally stay over, but there was no chance I would agree to his contributing
towards the running of the house. I was convinced that was the reason he brought
enough takeaways around to feed an army, so my food bill was tiny.
“What did she say about your move to the other side of the country?”
“I haven’t told her yet. Stop being so dramatic, Manchester is about thirty
minutes by that posh private jet you have at your disposal. If you can’t stand a two-
hour train journey, you could always pop in your super-duper jet.”
“We share that,” Nick said with mock sulkiness. “What if one of the others
wants to use it when I want a takeaway with my girl?”
My insides warmed at his words. “Then you just have to call me over Zoom,
and we’ll eat remotely.”
“Not the same. When are we going up for your interview?”
“We are not going anywhere. You are not taking time off to accompany me. I’ll
tell you when I’m on my way back.”
“You’re going on the train, aren’t you?”
“Of course.”
“But…”
“Nope, can’t hear you!” I stuck my fingers in my ears.
Nick grabbed me, and we rolled against the sofa as he wrestled my hands
from my ears. He was so gentle with me; it made my heart ache. “I’ll buy you a first-
class ticket so that you’ll be waited on at least. See, I’m stepping back and not
fussing too much.”
We were constantly battling against him being a fusspot. It was lovely, but it
could sometimes make me feel like a burden, which I hated.
“Work is buying the ticket. I just hope that I get the job.”
“At least you’ll still be in London if you don’t.”
“Yes, and unemployed.”
“You’ll get another job; you’re a great journalist.”
“There aren’t as many jobs like mine out there because of the change towards
internet news.”
“Still need journalists on the ground.”
“Not as many. Many news outlets copy content from others and rely on social
media. It’s depressing, but I’m not surprised the company wants to offer zero-hours
contracts. Better for them, but not good for us.”
“You could write that book you’d always promised that you’d write.”
“And become homeless and starve to death in the meantime? That’s nothing
but a pipe dream.”
“One day you’ll do it.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. In the meantime, I need to find a job.”
“You’ll be ok. Don’t start worrying about anything.”
“Thank you, but I must do some things alone. Let me cling onto some self-
respect.”
There was a flicker of emotion on his face before he smiled. I wasn’t sure, but
it seemed like regret. He pulled me to him, snuggling me in position under his arm
while, at the same time, grabbing the remote control.
“Enough serious talk for one day. What film are we watching?”
“You pick.”
“Action movie it is then.”
I groaned but wrapped my arm over his chest. It was how we had sat for
years, both completely at ease with each other and getting comfort from the close
contact. It was two best friends who had grown up together with a bond which
couldn’t be broken.
While appreciating that side of our friendship, the cuddling had come to mean
something else to me. It was when I could be close to the man I loved. I could, for
those few hours, imagine that we were doing this as a couple because we were in
love.
It could be considered a dangerous way of thinking, and it was undoubtedly
the way to heartbreak for me. I knew it couldn’t last; Nick would find a wife
eventually, and I would lose at least part of him. I’d had to get used to seeing him
with numerous women over the years, but I’d always known they wouldn’t be around
for long.
When he fell in love with his true love, I knew he would be utterly focused on
her and care for her with all his heart. That would be when our friendship would have
to change. I knew we would still be friends, but as I’d said to him previously, he
wouldn’t always be here.
One day, I would have to get used to that, but for now, I could snuggle into his
large, muscular chest and pretend. ...
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