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Synopsis
Sarah Dearly's vampire life is not all B-positive cocktails. A curse made her a nightwalker, the most vicious vamp there is; the charm she wears to curb her deadly tendencies is losing its juice; and a hunter from hell is turning up the heat. Gideon Chase will kill the ones she loves most if she doesn't obey his orders. That includes breaking up with master vampire Thierry and turning Gideon into an immortal vamp so he can escape a doom of eternal hellfire. Making things worse are Sarah's growing feelings for Gideon, a bad boy who keeps showing a vulnerable side . . . but is it for real? Will Sarah's dark side take over? Or can she cure herself of the nightwalker curse in time to stop Gideon and finally live happily ever after with Thierry . . . forever?
Release date: August 11, 2009
Publisher: Forever
Print pages: 356
* BingeBooks earns revenue from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate as well as from other retail partners.
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Tall, Dark & Fangsome
Michelle Rowen
Praise for Michelle Rowen
STAKES & STILETTOS
“4 Stars! Über-talented Rowen is back and once again combining the weird and wacky as only she can. There’s plenty of humor
and a touch of danger; truly a biting good time!”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“5 Stars! Rowen’s books never fail to thrill. Stakes & Stilettos is delightfully charming and keeps the wonderful mixture of tongue-in-cheek humor and well-fleshed-out plot that made her
earlier books so entertaining. The story keeps you guessing, always twisting in unexpected ways… An exceptional tale told
by a master storyteller.”
—
BittenbyBooks.com
“A glorious, amusing, and suspenseful story… This is excellent!”
—
RomanceReviewsMag.com
“5 Stars! Truly funny… outbreaks of spontaneous laughter are likely. There is no shortage of excitement for the characters
of Stakes & Stilettos, or for the readers. Hugely good fun!”
—
LoveVampires.com
“With a generous dose of suspense, Ms. Rowen leads readers on a journey of hateful revenge, the quest for immortality, and
the amazing power of love. Readers will be eager to see where this talented author will take them next.”
—
DarqueReviews.com
“5 Stars! A series that just keeps getting funnier and funnier… A rollicking good time… I can’t remember the last time I giggled
so much at a book. I can’t wait to read more about Sarah Dearly and her misadventures!”
—
FallenAngelReviews.com
“Rowen never disappoints, her stories are wonderfully funny, quirky, and full of laugh-out-loud moments, but there’s also
a great, clever plot. Stakes & Stilettos is an original, super funny story and I can’t wait to read the next book in the series.”
—
NightOwlRomance.com
LADY & THE VAMP
“4 Stars! Fans will appreciate the light tone, the smooth and swift narration… and the comedy throughout the third book of
Rowen’s Immortality Bites series.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“Michelle Rowen has again successfully written a funny and highly entertaining vampire story… I was delighted.”
—
ArmchairInterviews.com
“The best of Rowen’s series thus far… promises a few hours of light, entertaining paranormal fun.”
—
BookLoons.com
“If you like your romances filled with humor, unique and entertaining characters, and above all else, a little bite, you’re
gonna love Lady & the Vamp.”
—
RomRevToday.com
“A cute little romp through the world of the fanged! Rowen’s cheeky humor is sure to please those readers looking for a light
paranormal read.”
—
TheRomanceReadersConnection.com
“Enjoy Lady & the Vamp when you want to escape into a fantasy world for a while.”
—
JandysBooks.com
FANGED & FABULOUS
“You can’t put this book down!”
—CHARLAINE HARRIS
“4 Stars! Rowen once again presents an exciting, action-packed, and… humorous tale.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“A hoot… Rowen’s character list is awesome, the humor is hilarious… [a] delightful book.”
—
MyShelf.com
“Fanged & Fabulous is a hugely fun, lighthearted vampire chick-lit romance and yet it is a surprisingly satisfying read, too. Sharp wit and
classic romance… perfect reading for the summer.”
—
LoveVampires.com
“A funny and witty tale… I laughed out loud all through the book. The dialogue by this bestselling author is sarcastic and
hilarious and the characters will leave you waiting impatiently for the next installment.”
—
ArmchairInterviews.com
ANGEL WITH ATTITUDE
“4 Stars! Rowen does a delightful job mixing things up with her sassy and sexy characters. She has her own unique spin on
life and the afterlife and good and evil, which makes for downright fun reading.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“Divinely funny… A subtly provocative paranormal romance that shines a new light on angels and demons and witches, oh my!”
—Heartstrings Reviews
“You have to read this book! It is quirky, funny, and sweet. If you love original and hilarious, you have to pick up Angel with Attitude.”
—
FallenAngelReviews.com
BITTEN & SMITTEN
“A terrific vampiric chick-lit tale filled with biting humor.”
—Midwest Book Review
“4 Stars! Fun and clever… this novel is bound to appeal to those who like their romance a little offbeat and definitely humorous.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“A study of contrasts: frothy chick-lit wrapped around a grittier reality and a flip side featuring a modern heroine paired
with a Brontean hero. Let us welcome this fresh voice to the genre.”
—Booklist
My name is Sarah Dearly.
I am a vampire.
But don’t be afraid. I don’t bite.
Actually, scratch that. Recently I do bite, but not because I want to.
Three months ago I was turned into a vampire by an amorous and misguided—not to mention creepy—blind date. Shortly after he tried to bury me (don’t ask), some vampire hunters came by and staked him dead. They wanted
to stake me as well, but I ran away and straight into the arms of a super-hot, suicidal six-hundred-year-old vampire named
Thierry de Bennicoeur. French name. No accent, though. Did I mention hot?
Angsty though he was, I fell for him. Hard.
Bad things happened. Good things happened.
Mostly bad things, though.
I learned that hunters were everywhere and focused on killing vampires—even though we’re not evil. Or dead. Or undead. We’re
exactly like humans except for the drinking-blood-to-exist thing, which, unfortunately, is true. And a couple other things
like not being able to eat solid food. We have increased strength and senses. We don’t have reflections in mirrors, which,
to say the least, is inconvenient. Alcohol no longer has any effect on us, alas. But we have beating hearts and can go out
during the day, even though the sun tends to get a bit bright without dark sunglasses.
Oh, the immortality thing is true, too. That is, if somebody doesn’t stake us.
So, even though we’re relatively normal, hunters want us dead. They’re the bad guys.
One of those hunters tried to kill me and I shot him in self-defense. Yes, shot him with a gun. No fangs involved. The incident succeeded in giving me the false reputation of slaughtering a whole bunch
of hunters and the catchy title of “Slayer of Slayers.” Some people are scared of me, some impressed, and others find it a
big fat challenge to sink a stake through my heart.
One of those hunters is Gideon Chase. He’s the leader of all the vampire hunters, and a billionaire who was considered quite
a ladies’ man before he slayed a demon and was burned by hellfire. The hellfire scarred him horribly and is slowly and painfully
dragging him, body and soul, to hell.
Now he wants my help.
Because, thanks to a couple life-or-death situations, I’ve had to drink the blood of two master vampires—
Thierry being one of them—I now have some sort of supercharged blood. This allegedly means that any vampires I sire will be
very strong. Gideon is under the impression this means that I can heal him if I turn him into a vamp and keep him from his
one-way ticket to hell, but it has to be done along with a ritual under the next full moon.
And if I don’t do what he says, he’ll murder everybody I love.
Obviously, I agreed to help him out.
He made me end my budding relationship with Thierry because Gideon’s afraid that I’ll reveal his nefarious plans to him in
a private moment. But my attempted break-up didn’t work. We’re still together, only now we have to keep it a secret from everyone,
even my closest friends. If Gideon finds out that I didn’t do what he demanded… well, he simply can’t find out.
The guy is evil. Literally.
Last, but certainly not least, I’m dealing with a curse that turns me into a nightwalker—a vicious, neck-biting, sun-fearing,
sultry vixen of a vampire (in other words: so not me)—unless I’m wearing an ugly but effective magic-infused gold chain.
I’m trying to stay positive that everything will work out in the end, but it currently sucks to be me.
The pun is fully intended.
Okay, Sarah, try not to freak out,” Amy said.
That’s not really a good opener—not when you’re already close to the edge like I was.
My two best fanged and fabulous friends, Amy and George, had taken me out for drinks at a place called Darkside, the only
secret vampire nightclub in Toronto currently open for business.
I’d known Amy for years, since we were both nonvampiric personal assistants—a day job she still held. I met George three months
ago after I was sired into my new life as a vampire. They were trying to help me mend my broken heart and shattered self-esteem
after my big, nasty break-up with my master vampire boyfriend, Thierry, a week and a half ago.
Unfortunately, since alcohol didn’t affect vampires other than remaining a tasty treat, I was on my third Tequila Sunrise
and not feeling any differently about life, the universe, and, well… everything.
“Perky” was no longer my middle name. Not that it ever was.
I eyed Amy cautiously. “What are you talking about?”
She didn’t reply. Amy’s red-lipsticked mouth was frozen in a slightly scared-looking smile. She wore her short, platinum-blond
hair like a Papa-Don’t-Preach-era Madonna to contrast her low-cut, black sequined top and tight black skirt.
When I glanced at George, he shrugged. He looked like a male model with shoulder-length, sandy-colored hair he currently had
back in a low ponytail. He had chiseled features, a square jaw, and under his tight white shirt and black leather pants I
knew he had a body worth crying over. Crying, mostly because he batted for the other team. Not that I’d ever harbored any
unrequited fantasies about George. Not a chance. I had enough trouble with men without adding him to the list.
But he was mighty pretty.
“She’s definitely going to freak,” he confirmed.
Before I could ask for any more details about this predicted freak-out, a man approached the bar at which we were belly-up
on rather uncomfortable stools. He was tall, built, attractive, and wore a dark blue button-down shirt exactly the same color
as his eyes. His gaze was entirely fixed on yours truly.
I tensed at the unexpected attention.
“You’re Sarah, right?” he asked.
“Uh…”
“I’m Jeremy.” He smiled wide enough to show off his shiny white fangs. “Amy’s told me all about you, but your reputation precedes
you, of course.”
I flicked a confused glance at Amy, and then back at Jeremy. “Um…”
His grin widened. “Maybe we can get a private table so we can get to know each other a bit better.”
I shot Amy a horrified look as it all started to click in.
Was this a… a blind date?
Oh, hell no.
Amy cleared her throat nervously at my expression. “Jeremy works at the office in the HR department. When I realized he’s
a vampire, too, I knew you two would be absolutely adorable together. So I kind of asked him to join us here tonight. You
know, without telling you first.”
The last blind date Amy had set up for me resulted in a hickey I’d remember forever since the guy had bitten me and turned
me into a vampire. Needless to say, I wasn’t a big fan of impromptu setups with strangers. Especially ones orchestrated by
Amy.
“Great to meet you… uh, Jeremy, was it?” I plastered a smile on my face while my eyes tracked back to my Cupid-playing blond
friend. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Amy? In private?”
She nodded tightly. “Mmm hmm.”
“We’ll be back in just a sec. Talk amongst yourselves.” I slid off the leather-covered barstool and sidestepped Jeremy and
George as I threaded my way through the crowd of thirsty, club-going vampires toward the hallway leading to the washrooms.
Amy trailed silently behind me.
“Really?” I said after we were out of earshot and away from the loud music. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“But he’s so nice. You haven’t even given him a chance.”
“I’m sure he’s the nicest vampire bachelor in the city. This has nothing to do with him.”
“I wanted to cheer you up. So sue me.” She pouted at her failed attempt to love-match me. “Ever since you and jerk-face broke
up you’ve been no fun at all.”
Jerk-face was her pet name for Thierry. I had a similar term of endearment for her vampire husband, Barry, so I guess it all
equaled out.
I cleared my throat. “That doesn’t mean I want to start dating again. At least, not this soon.”
“Jeremy would be perfect for you.” She paused. “Although, he’d also be perfect for George, if you know what I mean. Don’t
you love a man who’s flexible about certain things?”
Sounded like an episode of Jerry Springer in the making, actually.
“I appreciate the thought, but I need some time on my own right now.”
She nodded sadly and patted my arm. “Your heart is broken in a million pieces. Sometimes the best thing to do is to get back
on that horse and gallop right out of town into the sunset with a new, perfect man.” She cocked her head to the side as she
thought about it. “Or having a one-night stand with a super-hot guy would probably work wonders, too.”
“Wallowing in solitude is also a great use of time after a breakup. No one-night stands need apply.”
She sighed. “You’re not thinking there’s a chance you and Thierry are going to get back together, are you?”
I chewed my bottom lip and shook my head. “It’s over. Him and me were completely wrong for each other from the very start.
This is all for the best.”
It sounded perfectly rehearsed because it was.
Amy nodded. “Well, you’re right about that. He was a pompous jerk who didn’t deserve you. I knew from the beginning that he
was a complete waste of your valuable time.”
I blinked. “Yeah, except for that dirty little crush you had on him, you mean.”
She blanched at the reminder. “I thought we were going to forget about that.”
“The image of the goo-goo eyes you used to make behind his back is still burned into my brain cells.”
Her cheeks reddened. “Please stop.”
I repressed a smile. “Listen, don’t worry about me. Seriously. Every day is a little easier. I hardly ever think about Thierry
anymore.”
Also rehearsed. Every morning when I woke up in my bed all alone I said it to the stucco ceiling—which rarely had any critiques
of my acting ability.
“Have you heard from Veronique lately?” Amy asked. “I wonder if she’s planning on swooping down and grabbing him now that
you’re out of the picture.”
“Haven’t seen her lately, so I have no idea what she’s up to.”
Veronique was Thierry’s wife. Yes, the man I’d been involved with had been married for hundreds of years to a woman who was
the epitome of perfection—beautiful, charming, rich, and powerful.
Their marriage was in name only. They’d been separated for more than a century before I even met Thierry. Veronique unapologetically
and frequently dated men a fraction of her age and enjoyed her own life, which she lived mostly in Europe with occasional
visits to North America. There was no love there anymore between them.
Thierry had recently attempted to get an annulment from vampire contacts at the Vatican itself—apparently the only way to
get out of a marriage the length of theirs—but she refused to sign the papers. She wasn’t evil, she was simply self-centered.
Ending their marriage didn’t benefit her in any way so she didn’t see any logical reason to sign.
Her lightly French-accented explanation still buzzed in my ears like a swarm of Gucci-wearing bees.
“Love has very little to do with a successful marriage, my dear.”
The memory still made my blood boil with equal parts frustration and annoyance.
Amy and I returned to the bar, and I let Jeremy down as gently as possible. He took it like a champ.
“If you ever want to hook up, give me a call.” He handed me a business card, then turned to George. “Great talking to you.”
“Yeah, you, too,” George agreed as Jeremy walked away. Then he gave me a dirty look. “Big mistake, Sarah. He was H-O-T. He
actually made working in Human Resources sound like fun. Which I cannot imagine it actually is.”
“Sounds like you liked him.”
“Well… I was getting a vibe.”
I handed him the business card. “He’s all yours.”
“Thanks!” He smiled at me. “Now I totally forgive you for spilling your nasty dollar-store shampoo on my carpet yesterday.”
I frowned and absently itched my scalp. I couldn’t help it if I was on a strict budget as the remainder of my meager savings
trickled away like cheap shower gel down the drain. Hair doesn’t clean itself, after all.
Thankfully, the drinks tonight were on Amy’s tab. I couldn’t eat solid food without yakking, but for some reason mixed drinks
didn’t bother me at all. Along with not having a reflection—definitely one of my least favorite parts of my new life—I racked
that up to unexplainable phenomena.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’d been on a crash course to learn as much about vampires as I could. Counting on other people
to guide me was unreliable at best, dangerous at worst. I’d learned that the hard way. The Internet, however, was a vast resource.
As soon as I broke through the crusty covering of popular myths, everything I needed to know about real vampire culture was
right there at my fingertips.
I might be getting carpal tunnel syndrome and becoming a fanged computer geek, but at least I was getting educated. Better
late than never.
I sucked the remainder of my drink clean right down to the naked ice cubes.
Another Tequila Sunrise immediately landed in front of me.
I glanced up at the bartender. “You must be psychic.”
He shook his head. “This is compliments of the gentleman in the corner.”
I swiveled around on the stool to look where he indicated. Other than two slutty-looking vamps shaking their groove thing
on the dance floor, nobody was there.
“Who did you say sent this?” I asked the bartender.
“He must have left. Tall guy. Good-looking in a dark and miserable sort of way.”
“Sounds exactly like Sarah’s type,” George observed, then poked me in the shoulder. “I need to dance. Let’s go dance. I love
this song.”
“Not in the mood.”
“I’ll go.” Amy slipped off the stool and teetered precariously on her four-inch platform heels. She gave me a pointed look.
“After all, somebody should have some fun tonight.”
Well, that was a bit rude. Accurate, but rude.
I watched the two of them depart to shimmy to Madonna and Justin singing about saving the world in four minutes. I absently
twisted the gold chain I wore until it began to cut off the circulation to my index finger.
The chain was ugly. It looked cheap and heavy and didn’t go with any of my wardrobe. I’d never wear it if I had any say in
the matter.
I didn’t have any say.
Thanks to my nightwalker curse, the chain was the only thing keeping me from biting necks and killing people for kicks. Nightwalkers
had existed a few hundred years ago, their vicious nature caused by a rare strain of the virus that turned humans into vamps.
They were the reason for all the untrue myths about vampires being totally evil. They were the reason that hunters exist in
the first place.
Nightwalkers were wiped off the face of the planet by those hunters to protect unassuming humans—and other vampires.
Which meant that, currently, I was the only vamp in the world with nightwalker tendencies—an uncontrollable dark thirst that
spread over me, a need to feed on humans or other vamps as if they were an all-Sarah-can-eat buffet. I also couldn’t go out
during the day or the sunlight would fry me. There was no sunscreen on earth that could keep me from turning into a crispy
critter if I wasn’t wearing the chain.
The witch who’d cursed me was dead now. No chance to get her to reverse the curse.
Which meant I had to find the answer on my own. If I ever lost my chain—the only thing keeping me from truly becoming a creature
of darkness—then I was seriously screwed. And so was anyone who crossed my path and looked remotely appetizing.
I shuddered at the thought and willed myself to concentrate on something, anything, else.
I stirred the cocktail in front of me with a swizzle stick and stared down into its orangey depths. I pushed the cherry down,
holding it under the surface as if trying to drown it. After a moment, I let it bob back up to the surface.
Dark and miserable.
Just my type.
I pushed the drink away. With my luck, Mr. Dark-and-Miserable had poisoned it.
“Hey, can I get a shot of B-Positive?” I asked the bartender.
A couple of seconds later he slid a shot glass filled with familiar red liquid in front of me.
Don’t get grossed out. It’s really not that bad.
Blood is sent to places like Darkside by professional blood delivery services. They get their blood from willing donors who
are paid well for their contributions. It was all very civilized. The rarer the blood type, the more expensive the shot.
I stuck with B-Positive. It was my fave. Because of the name, I could fool myself into believing it would cheer me up.
I tossed the shot back and waited for the euphoria to hit me.
A couple of minutes later I was still waiting.
The complimentary drink rested on a Darkside coaster. Other than the logo for the club, I noticed something else on the thick,
round piece of cardboard. Handwriting. In blue ink.
Sarah—
I took in a shaky breath and glanced around the club again, paying particular attention to the corner the man who sent me
the drink had allegedly been in. Still empty.
My palm was sweating as I picked up the coaster and turned it over to see there was more writing on the other side.
Meet me out back. I must see you.
I casually slipped the coaster into my handbag. Without saying anything to Amy and George, still dancing their little hearts
out, I slid into the shadows of the club on the other side of the dance floor, moved past the bouncer at the door, and emerged
into the cold night air outside. With a quick check over my shoulder to make sure no one was following me, I swiftly walked
around the building to the back where it was dark and silent. The nearly full moon cast a pale glow on the deserted alley.
“Hello?” I whispered, barely loud enough for even myself to hear. “Where are you?”
Other than the expected Dumpsters and snowdrifts, there seemed to be no one there. With my sensitive vampire ears, I could
hear the bass thump of the dance music from inside very weakly. I hugged my arms tightly around myself. The temperature didn’t
bother me much anymore, but it did seem particularly cold that night.
I took a few more steps into the darkness. “Don’t worry, we’re alone.”
I was answered only by more silence so I moved over to the other side of the building and peered around the corner. I didn’t
have very long before my friends wondered where I’d gone. Although, considering how many drinks I’d downed, they’d probably
assume I was in the washroom.
I froze when I heard footsteps behind me. The very next moment, strong arms came around me and my back was pressed up against
the cold brick wall. A hand came over my mouth, since my first instinct was to scream my lungs out.
Luckily, it was the person I’d been expecting.
Thierry removed his hand, lea. . .
STAKES & STILETTOS
“4 Stars! Über-talented Rowen is back and once again combining the weird and wacky as only she can. There’s plenty of humor
and a touch of danger; truly a biting good time!”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“5 Stars! Rowen’s books never fail to thrill. Stakes & Stilettos is delightfully charming and keeps the wonderful mixture of tongue-in-cheek humor and well-fleshed-out plot that made her
earlier books so entertaining. The story keeps you guessing, always twisting in unexpected ways… An exceptional tale told
by a master storyteller.”
—
BittenbyBooks.com
“A glorious, amusing, and suspenseful story… This is excellent!”
—
RomanceReviewsMag.com
“5 Stars! Truly funny… outbreaks of spontaneous laughter are likely. There is no shortage of excitement for the characters
of Stakes & Stilettos, or for the readers. Hugely good fun!”
—
LoveVampires.com
“With a generous dose of suspense, Ms. Rowen leads readers on a journey of hateful revenge, the quest for immortality, and
the amazing power of love. Readers will be eager to see where this talented author will take them next.”
—
DarqueReviews.com
“5 Stars! A series that just keeps getting funnier and funnier… A rollicking good time… I can’t remember the last time I giggled
so much at a book. I can’t wait to read more about Sarah Dearly and her misadventures!”
—
FallenAngelReviews.com
“Rowen never disappoints, her stories are wonderfully funny, quirky, and full of laugh-out-loud moments, but there’s also
a great, clever plot. Stakes & Stilettos is an original, super funny story and I can’t wait to read the next book in the series.”
—
NightOwlRomance.com
LADY & THE VAMP
“4 Stars! Fans will appreciate the light tone, the smooth and swift narration… and the comedy throughout the third book of
Rowen’s Immortality Bites series.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“Michelle Rowen has again successfully written a funny and highly entertaining vampire story… I was delighted.”
—
ArmchairInterviews.com
“The best of Rowen’s series thus far… promises a few hours of light, entertaining paranormal fun.”
—
BookLoons.com
“If you like your romances filled with humor, unique and entertaining characters, and above all else, a little bite, you’re
gonna love Lady & the Vamp.”
—
RomRevToday.com
“A cute little romp through the world of the fanged! Rowen’s cheeky humor is sure to please those readers looking for a light
paranormal read.”
—
TheRomanceReadersConnection.com
“Enjoy Lady & the Vamp when you want to escape into a fantasy world for a while.”
—
JandysBooks.com
FANGED & FABULOUS
“You can’t put this book down!”
—CHARLAINE HARRIS
“4 Stars! Rowen once again presents an exciting, action-packed, and… humorous tale.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“A hoot… Rowen’s character list is awesome, the humor is hilarious… [a] delightful book.”
—
MyShelf.com
“Fanged & Fabulous is a hugely fun, lighthearted vampire chick-lit romance and yet it is a surprisingly satisfying read, too. Sharp wit and
classic romance… perfect reading for the summer.”
—
LoveVampires.com
“A funny and witty tale… I laughed out loud all through the book. The dialogue by this bestselling author is sarcastic and
hilarious and the characters will leave you waiting impatiently for the next installment.”
—
ArmchairInterviews.com
ANGEL WITH ATTITUDE
“4 Stars! Rowen does a delightful job mixing things up with her sassy and sexy characters. She has her own unique spin on
life and the afterlife and good and evil, which makes for downright fun reading.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“Divinely funny… A subtly provocative paranormal romance that shines a new light on angels and demons and witches, oh my!”
—Heartstrings Reviews
“You have to read this book! It is quirky, funny, and sweet. If you love original and hilarious, you have to pick up Angel with Attitude.”
—
FallenAngelReviews.com
BITTEN & SMITTEN
“A terrific vampiric chick-lit tale filled with biting humor.”
—Midwest Book Review
“4 Stars! Fun and clever… this novel is bound to appeal to those who like their romance a little offbeat and definitely humorous.”
—Romantic Times BOOKreviews Magazine
“A study of contrasts: frothy chick-lit wrapped around a grittier reality and a flip side featuring a modern heroine paired
with a Brontean hero. Let us welcome this fresh voice to the genre.”
—Booklist
My name is Sarah Dearly.
I am a vampire.
But don’t be afraid. I don’t bite.
Actually, scratch that. Recently I do bite, but not because I want to.
Three months ago I was turned into a vampire by an amorous and misguided—not to mention creepy—blind date. Shortly after he tried to bury me (don’t ask), some vampire hunters came by and staked him dead. They wanted
to stake me as well, but I ran away and straight into the arms of a super-hot, suicidal six-hundred-year-old vampire named
Thierry de Bennicoeur. French name. No accent, though. Did I mention hot?
Angsty though he was, I fell for him. Hard.
Bad things happened. Good things happened.
Mostly bad things, though.
I learned that hunters were everywhere and focused on killing vampires—even though we’re not evil. Or dead. Or undead. We’re
exactly like humans except for the drinking-blood-to-exist thing, which, unfortunately, is true. And a couple other things
like not being able to eat solid food. We have increased strength and senses. We don’t have reflections in mirrors, which,
to say the least, is inconvenient. Alcohol no longer has any effect on us, alas. But we have beating hearts and can go out
during the day, even though the sun tends to get a bit bright without dark sunglasses.
Oh, the immortality thing is true, too. That is, if somebody doesn’t stake us.
So, even though we’re relatively normal, hunters want us dead. They’re the bad guys.
One of those hunters tried to kill me and I shot him in self-defense. Yes, shot him with a gun. No fangs involved. The incident succeeded in giving me the false reputation of slaughtering a whole bunch
of hunters and the catchy title of “Slayer of Slayers.” Some people are scared of me, some impressed, and others find it a
big fat challenge to sink a stake through my heart.
One of those hunters is Gideon Chase. He’s the leader of all the vampire hunters, and a billionaire who was considered quite
a ladies’ man before he slayed a demon and was burned by hellfire. The hellfire scarred him horribly and is slowly and painfully
dragging him, body and soul, to hell.
Now he wants my help.
Because, thanks to a couple life-or-death situations, I’ve had to drink the blood of two master vampires—
Thierry being one of them—I now have some sort of supercharged blood. This allegedly means that any vampires I sire will be
very strong. Gideon is under the impression this means that I can heal him if I turn him into a vamp and keep him from his
one-way ticket to hell, but it has to be done along with a ritual under the next full moon.
And if I don’t do what he says, he’ll murder everybody I love.
Obviously, I agreed to help him out.
He made me end my budding relationship with Thierry because Gideon’s afraid that I’ll reveal his nefarious plans to him in
a private moment. But my attempted break-up didn’t work. We’re still together, only now we have to keep it a secret from everyone,
even my closest friends. If Gideon finds out that I didn’t do what he demanded… well, he simply can’t find out.
The guy is evil. Literally.
Last, but certainly not least, I’m dealing with a curse that turns me into a nightwalker—a vicious, neck-biting, sun-fearing,
sultry vixen of a vampire (in other words: so not me)—unless I’m wearing an ugly but effective magic-infused gold chain.
I’m trying to stay positive that everything will work out in the end, but it currently sucks to be me.
The pun is fully intended.
Okay, Sarah, try not to freak out,” Amy said.
That’s not really a good opener—not when you’re already close to the edge like I was.
My two best fanged and fabulous friends, Amy and George, had taken me out for drinks at a place called Darkside, the only
secret vampire nightclub in Toronto currently open for business.
I’d known Amy for years, since we were both nonvampiric personal assistants—a day job she still held. I met George three months
ago after I was sired into my new life as a vampire. They were trying to help me mend my broken heart and shattered self-esteem
after my big, nasty break-up with my master vampire boyfriend, Thierry, a week and a half ago.
Unfortunately, since alcohol didn’t affect vampires other than remaining a tasty treat, I was on my third Tequila Sunrise
and not feeling any differently about life, the universe, and, well… everything.
“Perky” was no longer my middle name. Not that it ever was.
I eyed Amy cautiously. “What are you talking about?”
She didn’t reply. Amy’s red-lipsticked mouth was frozen in a slightly scared-looking smile. She wore her short, platinum-blond
hair like a Papa-Don’t-Preach-era Madonna to contrast her low-cut, black sequined top and tight black skirt.
When I glanced at George, he shrugged. He looked like a male model with shoulder-length, sandy-colored hair he currently had
back in a low ponytail. He had chiseled features, a square jaw, and under his tight white shirt and black leather pants I
knew he had a body worth crying over. Crying, mostly because he batted for the other team. Not that I’d ever harbored any
unrequited fantasies about George. Not a chance. I had enough trouble with men without adding him to the list.
But he was mighty pretty.
“She’s definitely going to freak,” he confirmed.
Before I could ask for any more details about this predicted freak-out, a man approached the bar at which we were belly-up
on rather uncomfortable stools. He was tall, built, attractive, and wore a dark blue button-down shirt exactly the same color
as his eyes. His gaze was entirely fixed on yours truly.
I tensed at the unexpected attention.
“You’re Sarah, right?” he asked.
“Uh…”
“I’m Jeremy.” He smiled wide enough to show off his shiny white fangs. “Amy’s told me all about you, but your reputation precedes
you, of course.”
I flicked a confused glance at Amy, and then back at Jeremy. “Um…”
His grin widened. “Maybe we can get a private table so we can get to know each other a bit better.”
I shot Amy a horrified look as it all started to click in.
Was this a… a blind date?
Oh, hell no.
Amy cleared her throat nervously at my expression. “Jeremy works at the office in the HR department. When I realized he’s
a vampire, too, I knew you two would be absolutely adorable together. So I kind of asked him to join us here tonight. You
know, without telling you first.”
The last blind date Amy had set up for me resulted in a hickey I’d remember forever since the guy had bitten me and turned
me into a vampire. Needless to say, I wasn’t a big fan of impromptu setups with strangers. Especially ones orchestrated by
Amy.
“Great to meet you… uh, Jeremy, was it?” I plastered a smile on my face while my eyes tracked back to my Cupid-playing blond
friend. “Can I talk to you for a minute, Amy? In private?”
She nodded tightly. “Mmm hmm.”
“We’ll be back in just a sec. Talk amongst yourselves.” I slid off the leather-covered barstool and sidestepped Jeremy and
George as I threaded my way through the crowd of thirsty, club-going vampires toward the hallway leading to the washrooms.
Amy trailed silently behind me.
“Really?” I said after we were out of earshot and away from the loud music. “You’re kidding me, right?”
“But he’s so nice. You haven’t even given him a chance.”
“I’m sure he’s the nicest vampire bachelor in the city. This has nothing to do with him.”
“I wanted to cheer you up. So sue me.” She pouted at her failed attempt to love-match me. “Ever since you and jerk-face broke
up you’ve been no fun at all.”
Jerk-face was her pet name for Thierry. I had a similar term of endearment for her vampire husband, Barry, so I guess it all
equaled out.
I cleared my throat. “That doesn’t mean I want to start dating again. At least, not this soon.”
“Jeremy would be perfect for you.” She paused. “Although, he’d also be perfect for George, if you know what I mean. Don’t
you love a man who’s flexible about certain things?”
Sounded like an episode of Jerry Springer in the making, actually.
“I appreciate the thought, but I need some time on my own right now.”
She nodded sadly and patted my arm. “Your heart is broken in a million pieces. Sometimes the best thing to do is to get back
on that horse and gallop right out of town into the sunset with a new, perfect man.” She cocked her head to the side as she
thought about it. “Or having a one-night stand with a super-hot guy would probably work wonders, too.”
“Wallowing in solitude is also a great use of time after a breakup. No one-night stands need apply.”
She sighed. “You’re not thinking there’s a chance you and Thierry are going to get back together, are you?”
I chewed my bottom lip and shook my head. “It’s over. Him and me were completely wrong for each other from the very start.
This is all for the best.”
It sounded perfectly rehearsed because it was.
Amy nodded. “Well, you’re right about that. He was a pompous jerk who didn’t deserve you. I knew from the beginning that he
was a complete waste of your valuable time.”
I blinked. “Yeah, except for that dirty little crush you had on him, you mean.”
She blanched at the reminder. “I thought we were going to forget about that.”
“The image of the goo-goo eyes you used to make behind his back is still burned into my brain cells.”
Her cheeks reddened. “Please stop.”
I repressed a smile. “Listen, don’t worry about me. Seriously. Every day is a little easier. I hardly ever think about Thierry
anymore.”
Also rehearsed. Every morning when I woke up in my bed all alone I said it to the stucco ceiling—which rarely had any critiques
of my acting ability.
“Have you heard from Veronique lately?” Amy asked. “I wonder if she’s planning on swooping down and grabbing him now that
you’re out of the picture.”
“Haven’t seen her lately, so I have no idea what she’s up to.”
Veronique was Thierry’s wife. Yes, the man I’d been involved with had been married for hundreds of years to a woman who was
the epitome of perfection—beautiful, charming, rich, and powerful.
Their marriage was in name only. They’d been separated for more than a century before I even met Thierry. Veronique unapologetically
and frequently dated men a fraction of her age and enjoyed her own life, which she lived mostly in Europe with occasional
visits to North America. There was no love there anymore between them.
Thierry had recently attempted to get an annulment from vampire contacts at the Vatican itself—apparently the only way to
get out of a marriage the length of theirs—but she refused to sign the papers. She wasn’t evil, she was simply self-centered.
Ending their marriage didn’t benefit her in any way so she didn’t see any logical reason to sign.
Her lightly French-accented explanation still buzzed in my ears like a swarm of Gucci-wearing bees.
“Love has very little to do with a successful marriage, my dear.”
The memory still made my blood boil with equal parts frustration and annoyance.
Amy and I returned to the bar, and I let Jeremy down as gently as possible. He took it like a champ.
“If you ever want to hook up, give me a call.” He handed me a business card, then turned to George. “Great talking to you.”
“Yeah, you, too,” George agreed as Jeremy walked away. Then he gave me a dirty look. “Big mistake, Sarah. He was H-O-T. He
actually made working in Human Resources sound like fun. Which I cannot imagine it actually is.”
“Sounds like you liked him.”
“Well… I was getting a vibe.”
I handed him the business card. “He’s all yours.”
“Thanks!” He smiled at me. “Now I totally forgive you for spilling your nasty dollar-store shampoo on my carpet yesterday.”
I frowned and absently itched my scalp. I couldn’t help it if I was on a strict budget as the remainder of my meager savings
trickled away like cheap shower gel down the drain. Hair doesn’t clean itself, after all.
Thankfully, the drinks tonight were on Amy’s tab. I couldn’t eat solid food without yakking, but for some reason mixed drinks
didn’t bother me at all. Along with not having a reflection—definitely one of my least favorite parts of my new life—I racked
that up to unexplainable phenomena.
Over the last couple of weeks, I’d been on a crash course to learn as much about vampires as I could. Counting on other people
to guide me was unreliable at best, dangerous at worst. I’d learned that the hard way. The Internet, however, was a vast resource.
As soon as I broke through the crusty covering of popular myths, everything I needed to know about real vampire culture was
right there at my fingertips.
I might be getting carpal tunnel syndrome and becoming a fanged computer geek, but at least I was getting educated. Better
late than never.
I sucked the remainder of my drink clean right down to the naked ice cubes.
Another Tequila Sunrise immediately landed in front of me.
I glanced up at the bartender. “You must be psychic.”
He shook his head. “This is compliments of the gentleman in the corner.”
I swiveled around on the stool to look where he indicated. Other than two slutty-looking vamps shaking their groove thing
on the dance floor, nobody was there.
“Who did you say sent this?” I asked the bartender.
“He must have left. Tall guy. Good-looking in a dark and miserable sort of way.”
“Sounds exactly like Sarah’s type,” George observed, then poked me in the shoulder. “I need to dance. Let’s go dance. I love
this song.”
“Not in the mood.”
“I’ll go.” Amy slipped off the stool and teetered precariously on her four-inch platform heels. She gave me a pointed look.
“After all, somebody should have some fun tonight.”
Well, that was a bit rude. Accurate, but rude.
I watched the two of them depart to shimmy to Madonna and Justin singing about saving the world in four minutes. I absently
twisted the gold chain I wore until it began to cut off the circulation to my index finger.
The chain was ugly. It looked cheap and heavy and didn’t go with any of my wardrobe. I’d never wear it if I had any say in
the matter.
I didn’t have any say.
Thanks to my nightwalker curse, the chain was the only thing keeping me from biting necks and killing people for kicks. Nightwalkers
had existed a few hundred years ago, their vicious nature caused by a rare strain of the virus that turned humans into vamps.
They were the reason for all the untrue myths about vampires being totally evil. They were the reason that hunters exist in
the first place.
Nightwalkers were wiped off the face of the planet by those hunters to protect unassuming humans—and other vampires.
Which meant that, currently, I was the only vamp in the world with nightwalker tendencies—an uncontrollable dark thirst that
spread over me, a need to feed on humans or other vamps as if they were an all-Sarah-can-eat buffet. I also couldn’t go out
during the day or the sunlight would fry me. There was no sunscreen on earth that could keep me from turning into a crispy
critter if I wasn’t wearing the chain.
The witch who’d cursed me was dead now. No chance to get her to reverse the curse.
Which meant I had to find the answer on my own. If I ever lost my chain—the only thing keeping me from truly becoming a creature
of darkness—then I was seriously screwed. And so was anyone who crossed my path and looked remotely appetizing.
I shuddered at the thought and willed myself to concentrate on something, anything, else.
I stirred the cocktail in front of me with a swizzle stick and stared down into its orangey depths. I pushed the cherry down,
holding it under the surface as if trying to drown it. After a moment, I let it bob back up to the surface.
Dark and miserable.
Just my type.
I pushed the drink away. With my luck, Mr. Dark-and-Miserable had poisoned it.
“Hey, can I get a shot of B-Positive?” I asked the bartender.
A couple of seconds later he slid a shot glass filled with familiar red liquid in front of me.
Don’t get grossed out. It’s really not that bad.
Blood is sent to places like Darkside by professional blood delivery services. They get their blood from willing donors who
are paid well for their contributions. It was all very civilized. The rarer the blood type, the more expensive the shot.
I stuck with B-Positive. It was my fave. Because of the name, I could fool myself into believing it would cheer me up.
I tossed the shot back and waited for the euphoria to hit me.
A couple of minutes later I was still waiting.
The complimentary drink rested on a Darkside coaster. Other than the logo for the club, I noticed something else on the thick,
round piece of cardboard. Handwriting. In blue ink.
Sarah—
I took in a shaky breath and glanced around the club again, paying particular attention to the corner the man who sent me
the drink had allegedly been in. Still empty.
My palm was sweating as I picked up the coaster and turned it over to see there was more writing on the other side.
Meet me out back. I must see you.
I casually slipped the coaster into my handbag. Without saying anything to Amy and George, still dancing their little hearts
out, I slid into the shadows of the club on the other side of the dance floor, moved past the bouncer at the door, and emerged
into the cold night air outside. With a quick check over my shoulder to make sure no one was following me, I swiftly walked
around the building to the back where it was dark and silent. The nearly full moon cast a pale glow on the deserted alley.
“Hello?” I whispered, barely loud enough for even myself to hear. “Where are you?”
Other than the expected Dumpsters and snowdrifts, there seemed to be no one there. With my sensitive vampire ears, I could
hear the bass thump of the dance music from inside very weakly. I hugged my arms tightly around myself. The temperature didn’t
bother me much anymore, but it did seem particularly cold that night.
I took a few more steps into the darkness. “Don’t worry, we’re alone.”
I was answered only by more silence so I moved over to the other side of the building and peered around the corner. I didn’t
have very long before my friends wondered where I’d gone. Although, considering how many drinks I’d downed, they’d probably
assume I was in the washroom.
I froze when I heard footsteps behind me. The very next moment, strong arms came around me and my back was pressed up against
the cold brick wall. A hand came over my mouth, since my first instinct was to scream my lungs out.
Luckily, it was the person I’d been expecting.
Thierry removed his hand, lea. . .
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