Chapter 1
Eric was a child who loved to get up early in the morning and think about what he wanted
to do for fun and he managed to accomplish this more than not. He had friends who he
called at this time; friends who shared his time clock-early risers were usually hard to find.
After a bowl of Cheerios he would leave home and allow for the day to take shape. Not
too far from his home was a wooded area that he gravitated to and where he enjoyed the
solitude of being totally enclosed by trees and all the animal life that surrounded him. On
this particular day he heard noise that sounded like leaves and twigs being stirred by
someone walking; quietly he gazed through the brush not to be noticed. It was a boy he
didn’t recognize so he kept still and just observed his movement approaching in his direct
pathway. When their eyes glanced at each other it was like no other experience he had
ever known and he was confused by what he felt. They both froze in their tracks as if
statues posing for an artist. Eric was the first to speak. “Hi, my name is Eric. I heard you
coming toward me; thought you were a friend who sometimes meets me to hang out
together. Sometimes we sneak up on each other.” The boy stared at Eric, somewhat
startled but realized that Eric was no one to fear from the tone of his voice. He had a knife
in a leather clip attached to his belt. Eric had a pocket knife but was impressed by the
more appealing style of what he saw on this stranger. “I just moved here and wanted to
explore these woods. Do you live nearby?” The conversation began and would lead to an
amazing friendship that would open new emotions and trepidations for these two
youngsters. They were eleven years old in 1958 and the world they knew was quietly
evolving; family traditions, religious faith, and baseball were dominant themes in both of
their lives. Eisenhower was president and America appeared to quietly and steadily
progress in a decade that was stable and predictable.
Eric and Jim would begin a relationship that was based on shared interests and
common beliefs. Both were Roman Catholics who attended St. Mary’s church in upstate,
Oswego, New York. Sunday mass was a regular habit and Eric was an alter boy who
realized at one point that he may want to be a priest; he did however have mixed feelings
even though his mind was leading in that direction. Jim on the other hand was an athlete
who loved sports and was quite talented in high school and intercollegiate baseball;
however he loved to follow political events and would gravitate toward history and
political science.
Their childhood culture was surrounded by strong family ties and traditional values.
Personal feelings were privately maintained; their futures seemed fairly predictable for
their generation and could only be threatened by unconventional and unexpected behavior
or events. The instant they met was ingrained in their memory; both knew something was
present but as eleven year olds, could not understand their emotions nor where they would
lead. Several years later after the high school prom which both attended with two female
classmates who were childhood friends, they partied on the shores of Lake Ontario where
a raging fire was built and where their dates would share intimate embraces on blankets
covering large and small stones beneath their excited bodies. Whatever it was they felt
with these two excited females would not take them the distance. Their inhibitions
blocked natural instincts and sexual prowess; the girls were somewhat confused by the
sexual disconnect that followed. All four peered into the blazing fire that generated a
warmth in the night chill. Maybe the intimacy shared was not private enough for more
activity to continue. Instead they stared at the fire and it satisfied them enough from
saying a word. The crackling sound of flames and crashing waves on shore were enough
to distract their natural impulses. Their silence was only broken by crackling flames that
warmed their bodies but left their desires void. The girls were not inclined to stop but
picked up some unexpected message displayed by Jim and Eric. Neither one of these
young men took advantage of an opportunity for expressing their sexuality with a woman.
Eight years later, Jim would marry his college sweetheart and Eric would follow his
chosen path to priesthood. They would maintain distant friendships where infrequent
letters would reveal their childhood innocence and the adult desires of two grown men.
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