Chapter One
To: Graham
From: Kassie
Subject: Hi
Hi Graham. My name is Kassie. I saw your profile on the Matches-R-Us website and thought you looked interesting. I’d love to talk.
~Kassie
* * *
To: Graham
From: Kassie
Subject: It’s me again
Hi Graham. It’s me, Kassie (again). I messaged you last week, but never heard back. I thought I’d try again in case my message got lost in the midst of the hundreds of other messages you get on a weekly basis. *grin*
How about if I tell you a little about me? Maybe if you know me better you might consider writing back. I’ve lived in Austin my entire life. I have a sister who is a senior in high school. She and my parents live in the Barton Creek area, which is just west of Austin (in case you didn’t know). I’m thirty and am the manager at the retail clothing store, JCPenney. I’m not tall or short. Just in between at 5’6”.
Darn. I tried to think of something more interesting about me…but couldn’t.
Anyway, it looks like you were fishing in your profile picture. I’ve been fishing, but didn’t catch a darn thing. But I liked the boat ride. :) Anyway, that’s me. I hope to hear from you.
~Kassie
* * *
To: Graham
From: Kassie
Subject: I’m a shapeshifting werewolf…
…who is about to go into my mating lust…
*grin*
Okay, that’s a lie (duh), but you probably have lots and lots of emails with boring subjects like “hi” and “you’re cute.”
I figure since you haven’t answered my other two you aren’t interested, but I thought I’d try one more time in case you had a psycho ex hacking into your profile and deleting all your messages.
Anyway, I have nothing else to convince you to give me a chance. I’m nobody special. I’m not rich. I’m not beautiful. I’m not super smart and I don’t have an exciting job. I just thought that you looked like the kind of man who was like me. Boring and normal.
Shit, I didn’t mean boring like boring, but…I’ll just shut up now before I dig myself in deeper. lol
Now that I’ve probably insulted you and you’re rolling your eyes wondering why in the heck I messaged you, and why you’re even still reading this, I’ll leave you alone.
I hope you find what you’re looking for from this website. Good luck.
~Kassie
* * *
To: Kassie
From: Graham
Subject: Re: I’m a shapeshifting werewolf…
Now you have my attention. *grin*
The reason I haven’t messaged you back is because I don’t check this profile very often. To be honest, I only signed up for Matches-R-Us because my buddies kinda egged me into it. I usually don’t even reply to any messages I get. I should delete my profile, but for some reason, I haven’t.
So why am I writing you back? Because you made me laugh. Out loud. One of the things I appreciate most in a woman is a sense of humor.
As you know, my name is Graham. I like to fish. I’m about six feet tall and I’m thirty-two. I’m in the Army and live near Fort Hood.
I can’t say that anyone has called me boring before…but I like that description. :) I’m just a man doing his duty for his country who likes to hang out with his friends and have an occasional beer.
So why are you looking for a guy on a dating website? From what I can see from your profile picture, you’re pretty and don’t look like a big hairy shapeshifting werewolf. lol
I look forward to chatting with you more.
~Graham
* * *
To: Graham
From: Kassie
Subject: Looks can be deceiving
I don’t look like a big hairy werewolf in my profile picture because I’m in my human form…silly. *grin*
But seriously, to be honest, the picture is about four years old, although I pretty much look the same as I did back then. Plain brown hair, hazel eyes, not fat, but not skinny either. I hate to work out, and I’m assuming since you’re in the Army, you don’t. I’ve just never seen the point, since I hate it. I do try to be healthy though…you know…park in the spaces at the back of the lot, take the stairs when I can, things like that. But the gym? No.
What do you do for the Army? What’s your MOS? (Aren’t you impressed that I know that acronym? Don’t be too impressed though…I Googled “Army acronyms” and that one came up. Ha!) I once dated a guy who was in the Army, and if I’m being honest, he was too gung-ho for me. I hope you’re not one of those men who says “hooah” all the time. My ex used to grunt it when he…well, you know. *gag*
You should know, I’m much more entertaining online than I am in person. I’m an introvert for the most part…and yes, I know it’s weird that I’m a manager but I don’t like being around people. I can be, but if I had a choice, I’d stay home. All I’m saying is that you shouldn’t get used to me being funny. I clam up around people I don’t know and I’m the kind of person who figures out the perfect comeback about two hours too late. (Did you see that Seinfeld episode? OMG, hilarious when George Costanza did that… “The jerk store called and they’re running out of you!” HAHAHAHAHAHA)
Okay, it wasn’t that funny, but that’s totally me. And my sense of humor is decidedly warped. If we ever met in person, I’d probably offend you and three out of four people we were standing around.
I’d love to hear more about you. Parents? Siblings? When you sit around and drink beer with your friends do you drink a couple, or an entire twelve-pack? I’m interested in whatever you want to tell me!
I gotta go, the moon is full and I’m feeling the need to shift. *grin*
~Kassie
* * *
To: Kassie
From: Graham
Subject: It’s not safe…
It’s not safe to park in the back of a lot. I think it’s great that you want to get a few extra steps in, but you shouldn’t put yourself at risk to get them. Especially if you’re working retail. I assume you sometimes work when it’s dark? Do me a favor, and get your extra steps some other way. :)
As far as what I do, I can’t say a lot about my job…you know, OPSEC and all… (Since you Googled acronyms, you should know what that means. :)) But I can tell you that I’m a 21B.
And believe me, the last thing I’d ever say if I was with a woman would be hooah…if you know what I mean. :)
There’s nothing wrong with being an introvert. And I’m not just saying that. I’m well past the days where I want to hang out in a bar or club. Sitting at home and enjoying a good dinner, conversation, and maybe a movie or television show sounds like a perfect way to spend a night. But no worries, I can hold my own in public situations, so you can just hang back and observe.
And I bet you’re hilarious in person…you just don’t think you are. Anyone who can quote George Costanza is seriously cool in my eyes. And now I don’t have to worry about offending you with my sarcastic streak. So yay!
Like you, I have a little sister. Her name is Jade. She’s only two years younger than me. She currently lives in Chapel Hill, and teaches at the University of North Carolina. She got all the brains in the family. *grin*
And no worries, Kass, I like a good brew every now and then, but I am in no way close to being an alcoholic. I take too much pride in being in shape to do that to myself. The soldiers I work with rely on me to be able to have their six just as I do them. But good for you for asking.
So, do you have to wait for the moon to be full to shift, or can you do it at will?
Later, Graham
* * *
To: Graham
From: Kassie
Subject: Are you one of those guys…
…who buys his woman a gun and makes her take self-defense lessons to make sure she’s “safe?” Don’t you know that we’re much more likely to be in a car accident than held up at gunpoint or assaulted? But…I get your point. When I have to close the store, I always park under a light and have security escort me to my car. And, before you tell me that I can’t trust the security guards because they’re usually underpaid and could actually assault me, I already know that. I always call one of my friends before we leave and she stays on the line until I get into my car and the doors are locked.
Actually, talking with you is probably the most “unsafe” thing I’ve done in a long time. You could be a sixty-three-year-old serial killer who has trolled the Internet for pictures of good looking men to use on your profile to lure women into his clutches. And yes, I know the reverse could also be true…but lucky for you, it’s not. I really am Kassie Anderson. Thirty years old. And I live in the Austin area. Although I’ve thought about moving. Sometimes you just need to get away from your past…you know? Know anyone who has an apartment for rent up your way? Just kidding…sorta.
But thanks for being worried about my safety.
So, you’re a combat engineer huh? (You have to be impressed at my Googling skills now! *grin*) Mines, bridges, and stuff. Sounds…boring. lol (Sorry, that was mean.) Seriously, you must be pretty smart then. Probably too smart for me. (And I don’t believe your sister got all the brains in the family, so whatever.)
You’re a guy…can you clear something up for me? Why in the world do men feel it necessary to send pictures of their dicks to women online? I don’t get it. Do they think I’m going to open up their messages and be like “OMG, what a huge dick! I must message him back now and demand to meet in a back alley so I can get up close and personal with it.” I mean seriously, if I’m being honest, penises are just weird looking as it is. Hanging down, flapping around, why in the world would a guy think it’s okay (or sexy, or cool) to send a picture of his dick to a woman he’s never met or talked to?
Now, I get the reverse is probably not gross to guys. If all of a sudden women started sending pictures of their boobs to random men, I’m pretty sure they’d be all for it. Like, “Oh yeah, I got three more tit pictures today! Hooah.” (See what I did there? *giggle*)
Anyway, maybe you can explain it to me, because I just don’t get it. (And that is along the same lines of a guy whistling at a woman on the street. Does he think the woman is going to be all flattered and walk up and ask him out? It just doesn’t make sense to me.)
And on that note, I’ve probably overstepped whatever boundaries we’re supposed to have on here. There’s probably a Matches-R-Us employee monitoring our messages and I’ll log in tomorrow and find out that I’ve been kicked off the site for bringing up the “dick pic” issue. :)
I hope you had a good day today. Mine was fine. Dealt with assholes all day who blamed me for their credit cards being declined, and insisted that the clothes they wanted to buy were actually on the fifty-percent-off rack and not the ten-percent one…when it was obvious they just peeled the sticker off a shirt and stuck it on the one they wanted to buy. (Told you my life was boring.)
I don’t think I’ve said it yet, but thank you for your service to our country. I know sometimes people don’t like to hear that, but wanted to say it anyway. Thank you.
~Kassie
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