- Book info
- Sample
- Media
- Author updates
- Lists
Synopsis
Where, oh where, have Farah's roommates all gone?
When Farah Cotton places a classified ad stating, "Cute redbone female looking to share a luxury apartment with another redbone female," many women apply. One look at the lush apartment in Washington, D.C., and every fly girl around wants a chance to call Platinum Lofts her new home.
The moment Farah lays eyes on Lesa Carmine, a pretty young woman with an active lifestyle and a sunny disposition, she knows she's found the perfect girl for her ultimate plan. The two become fast friends—until Farah becomes intrusive and her siblings move in, violating Lesa's privacy. Farah seems dangerous when she's around them, and Lesa attempts to sever ties without paying rent.
Feeling overcome with blinding rage, Farah finds all kinds of ways to seek revenge. From poisoning to spreading vicious lies, she makes it known that she doesn't take Lesa's brush-off lightly.
When Lesa snoops around in Farah's past and discovers who she really is, she makes a grave mistake, one that could jeopardize her life. Brace yourselves, because just when you think you have it figured out, you'll realize you don't.
Release date: April 1, 2012
Publisher: Urban Books
Print pages: 496
* BingeBooks earns revenue from qualifying purchases as an Amazon Associate as well as from other retail partners.
Reader buzz
Please log in to recommend or discuss...
Author updates
Close
Redbone
T. Styles
Twelve-year-old Farah Cotton was stunned silent, as she looked at her classmate being handled so roughly by the people she loved most.
“Hold his arms, babies! Hold ’em tight, too!” Brownie ordered her children Mia and Shadow, as they stood behind a bush in the back of Farah’s school. “I want him spread out like he Jesus on the cross!” A maniacal grin covered her chocolate skin, and her pink tongue hung out the side of her mouth. There was nothing more in life she loved than inflicting pain on others and the sight of blood. “That’s good. Just like that,” she coached. “Get ready, Farah. ’Cause I need you to pull his shorts down.”
Without looking into the boy’s eyes, she pulled down his shorts.
“Good ... Now get his drawers, too!” Brownie said.
With her eyes slammed shut, Farah pulled the boy’s drawers down, exposing his penis.
“Perfect, now get ready to kick him where it counts.”
“But what if he gets loose and hits me?” Farah asked, this time looking at her classmate, a boy she liked very much, a kid who just a few hours ago loaned her a few pieces of paper and a number 2 pencil to do her work in class. Her light skin, riddled with old sore scars, was flushed and she felt like she was five minutes from breaking out in hives. All her life, she along with her mother, sisters, and brother suffered from what they believed were allergies of the worst kind. Although their attacks seemed to be few and far between, Farah’s were triggered by anything from stress to the scent of household chemicals. “I don’t wanna do it!”
“They not gonna let him get you!” Brownie yelled, growing irritated with her daughter. “Are you, babies?”
“We got him, Mamma!” Shadow said, gripping Theo Cunningham’s wrist harder, as his older sister, Mia, grabbed his other wrist and pulled in the opposite direction. Shadow’s face, which was deep chocolate like the rest of their family, formed a row of sweat, which he quickly wiped away with his free hand. “He ain’t going nowhere!”
When they had a good hold of the twelve-year-old’s arms she said, “That’s good, Mia and Shadow! Keep him right there.”
“Sure thing, Mamma!” Mia said as she struggled to grab a few much-needed breaths due to being overweight. “This nigga gotta pay for the sins of his mother!” she continued, repeating Brownie’s deranged words. Brownie smiled in approval.
Farah stood next to her siblings, and looked at how they all seemed to enjoy what they were doing to the boy. Her confusion seemed to bring more attention to the fact that she was not like them. If you were to walk into the DC project they lived in, and pointed out the members of the Cotton family, you would surely pass over Farah a million times. People told her all the time how she was the pretty red one in the family and how she should be grateful she didn’t turn out as black as her mother, father, sisters, and brother. Farah never looked at the difference as a blessing. In her eyes, it was quite the contrary. She never wanted anything more than to look like the people she lived with every day.
She felt like an outcast when people would walk up to them, single her out, and say, “You so pretty, even with them scars on your face, and you got good hair, too.” What she wouldn’t give to sit between her mother’s legs in the kitchen and have her hair pressed and then styled with green grease like Chloe. How she prayed she’d wake up with a smooth, dark complexion like Mia, but her wish was never granted.
Her skin was yellow, her hair black, wavy, and shiny, and her heart was nowhere as hollow as the members of her family. It was true: nothing about Farah said she was a Cotton, except her last name. It wasn’t like the rest of the family wasn’t beautiful. When they weren’t fighting, and causing problems in the neighborhood, they were quite stunning to look at with their smooth skin tones reminiscent of the kings and queens of Africa. But because they were so unruly, nobody gave a fuck about outside appearances. They were ugly inside, so that made them ugly outside too.
“Please let me go,” Theo begged, as long strands of snot oozed from his nose and fell into his mouth. He quickly lapped up the salty nasal mucus to continue his pleading. “I didn’t do nothing!”
“Stop standing over there looking crazy, RedBone!” Brownie yelled, waking Farah out of her trivial thoughts. “Kick him in his dick! And do it hard, too, like we talked about!”
Farah looked at Theo, who was crying harder. “I don’t want to do it, Mama,” she refused. “He let me use his pencil at school today. He’s really nice!”
“You heard what the fuck I said, girl!” Brownie screamed as she pointed her long finger in her face. “That’s why I know you’re not no real Cotton! You not a fighter! And if Cottons don’t do nothing else, we fight and defend our name!”
“I am a Cotton!” Farah said with wide eyes.
Brownie always embraced an opportunity to make Farah feel inferior when she wanted her to do something. “Then do it!”
Farah walked slowly over to Theo, closed her eyes, and with all her might she kicked in Theo’s direction.
“Ouch!” Mia screamed, rubbing her knee. “Open your eyes and do it, Farah.” Mia knew her sister was scared but she also knew if she didn’t do as told she could end up in far worse trouble with Brownie. “So what, he gave you a pencil? We your family! Kick him!”
She didn’t move and Brownie was growing impatient.
“Do it, Farah!” Shadow encouraged. “Keep your eyes open and look him in the face, too!” Using Pig Latin, which his mother didn’t understand, he said, “Ihay ontday antway OmMammay otay uckfay ouyay uphay! which meant, “I don’t want Mamma to fuck you up!”
Hearing her brother’s words, this time with her eyes wide open, she kicked him hard between the legs. Theo screamed out in pain and his body fell forward.
“Let him go,” Brownie said. They released him, and Mia and Shadow laughed at the child crying out in pain. Brownie walked over to him and stood over his little body. She was a grown woman, orchestrating the beat down of a child, and she was emotionless. “Y’all go on over to the car.” She pointed up the hill. “Your father is waiting. Don’t spoil the surprise, either. I wanna tell him what happened myself. Before they left Shadow kicked him in the stomach before Mia hog spit on top of his hair.
Farah, on the other hand, didn’t budge. She wanted to help Theo out, and tell him how sorry she was. He was the only friend she had at school, and now she was certain that he’d hate her. “Come on, RedBone,” Brownie said, putting her hand on Farah’s shoulder. “You did good today.”
When Farah didn’t move quick enough for Brownie’s taste she yelled, “Bitch, get your red ass to the car. It ain’t like the little nigga dead! He just got his nuts pushed up. She laughed.
Worried her mother would order her beat down next, she followed her family to her father’s car. They all jumped inside, and the moment the last door was closed, Ashur Cotton sped away from the scene.
In the car, everyone but Farah seemed to be glued to the news announcer’s voice on the radio. A few days ago in Virginia, a pregnant teenage girl was stabbed to death in her stomach and face, along with her father. After a proper investigation, they learned that her boyfriend, who she dumped because he hit her in the stomach, in an attempt to abort the baby, murdered her. When the boy frantically escaped the scene, he left his high school ID and the knife with his fingerprints on her bed. When he told his mother and father about what happened, they were distraught, but decided to help him cover the crime. The plan was to get his ID and knife, after wiping the fingerprints away. But they didn’t account for her father being home from work early. Unaware that his daughter was murdered in the room, the boy’s parents killed him and went on the run. Somebody recognized the boy and alerted the police. Everybody in their neighborhood was up in arms about the heinous act, accept for the Cottons.
“I hope they don’t catch him,” Ashur said, turning the radio down. “The little bitch probably deserved it.”
“They’re probably in Mexico now,” Brownie responded, waving at the radio.
“Y’all get him good?” Ashur asked his children, who were in the back seat. He put his Marvin Gaye tape in the deck, and cruised down the road on the way back to the house.
“Yeah, Dad.” Shadow smiled. “We did everything Mamma planned.”
“Just like we talked about, right?”
“What you think?” Brownie asked. “These my mothafuckin kids we talkin about! She laughed. “They were born for war.” She crossed her thick, sexy legs, and wiggled her foot. “We ain’t come here for nothing.”
He laughed. “You may have pushed’em out that fat pussy of yours, but it was this nut,” he said, gripping his dick, “that made it possible.”
“You right about that.” She laughed, and lit a cigarette.
Brownie looked back at Mia and Shadow, who were smiling slyly in the back seat. She hated that Farah’s head hung low as she looked at her shoe, which was tinged with Theo’s blood. What’s wrong with Mamma? And Daddy? Farah thought, looking at everyone. I don’t wanna be like them. He was my friend.
“You thirsty, baby girl?” Ashur asked Mia, waking Farah out of her thoughts.
“You know it, Daddy.” She rubbed her ashy hands together. The smoke from her mother’s cigarette choked the air.
“Y’all thirsty too?”
Shadow nodded and Farah said, “Yes, Daddy.” Ashur tossed eighteen-year-old Mia a beer, and threw Shadow and Farah an RC Cola from the small cooler in the front.
“I want a beer too.” Shadow pouted, frowning at the drink.
“Not if you want teeth,” Ashur countered. “You want your teeth or a beer?”
“I’ll drink the soda,” Shadow said, defeated.
“That’s what the fuck I thought.” Focusing back on Brownie he said, “Did he cry? They swear the boy tougher than our son. So if you ain’t make him cry, it won’t make no difference.” Ashur handed Brownie a beer to open for him.
She popped the top and handed it back. “He whined like a bitch.” She smiled. “Trust me.”
Ashur had already gulped half of his beer as he continued down the street. “I bet you he won’t be playing no football now.” He laughed, incensed that his own son couldn’t even stand outside in the sun for long periods, because his skin would blister. His children’s condition was so bad at times that he would often stay out of the house for days at a time just to avoid hearing their cries. “I want him useless at the football game on Saturday, Brownie.”
“Trust me, he was crying like a bitch.” Brownie laughed. “Mia and Shadow beat his ass and then Mia kicked him in the nuts.” She was laughing so hard she couldn’t contain herself. “You should’ve seen him holding his hands between his legs with his mouth all open.” She slapped her knee. “I’m telling you that bitch gonna get the message now, and the boy ain’t playing no football.”
“It’s okay, because if that don’t work we’ll break his arms. He definitely won’t be playing then!” Ashur looked at his half-crazy wife, leaned over, and kissed her passionately, while barely looking at the road ahead of him. He almost hit a car and the driver beeped loudly to avoid a collision.
Farah jumped and held on to her brother’s arm, praying they didn’t get into an accident. Since her condition could also be exacerbated by feeling panicked, Shadow whispered, “It’s okay, Farah. Don’t be scared. Daddy got the car.” The smallest matters always went from zero to one hundred when she was with her family. Every day she was learning traits that wouldn’t suit her well in life.
Ashur broke away from his beautiful wife’s kiss and looked at the driver who had just beeped them out. Since both cars arrived at a light, Ashur rolled his window down to taunt the man. He was angry all the time, and loved antagonizing others. “Watch where the fuck you going, nigga!” Ashur yelled, pointing his gun in the car’s direction.
“Unless you want me to bury you and that bitch!” Brownie added, aiming her gun also.
The driver was so alarmed that he sped away from the scene with his life in tow. Ashur snickered and could feel his dick growing rock hard because of all the excitement. Every time they got into shit together, he wanted to bend his wife over on the front of his Lincoln and fuck her in her asshole. They were deliriously in love and they could not see life without savagery and pain. The Cotton family, with Ashur as their lead, was a group of fucking troublemakers and everybody in Southeast DC knew it. That didn’t stop them from moving about the city as if it were not true. Many said the world would have been better off if Ashur had never stepped to Brownie the first day he saw her face.
Many years back, when Ashur Cotton pulled up on Brownie Johnson in the summer of 1972, it was a match made in hell. Before meeting the woman who would soon be his wife, Ashur was a small-time street thug whose heart was filled with rage and confusion. Although he was violent, women doted on him, not because of his smooth, chocolate-dark skin or fit body, but because he was unpredictable, and that made him dangerous and fascinating. If he wasn’t robbing hard-working citizens of their paychecks, he was defrauding insurance companies by purposely getting into car accidents. Ashur had a hustle in mind at all times, never wanting to miss an opportunity to hit his big payday.
After leaving the bank one Thursday on June 29 from cashing in on one of his get-rich-quick schemes, he spotted the sexiest bowlegged female his eyes had ever seen. She was stacked like an Amazon with fat titties, a shapely derriere, and thick, pretty legs. Although he approached her with lustful ventures in mind, the average man would’ve kept it moving because nothing about Brownie at the moment was appealing. She was dripping in her own sweat, barefoot, and wearing a pair of dingy blue jean shorts and a white noxious-smelling T-shirt. Her fists were balled up tightly as she fought off three light-skinned females, who were tired of her fucking with their family.
Brownie Johnson loved to cause shit. It was her life’s work. If you said it was Thursday, she’d purposely say it was Friday just to get a rise out of you. And if fucking with your head didn’t evoke the right response by mixing the truth, she’d throw a “fuck your mamma” insult your way, knowing that would always do the trick. On the streets of DC, Brownie slashed more faces of beautiful light-skinned women than the most popular Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Her name rang bells and if you were in her presence and your skin was lighter than the color of a paper bag, you’d better split. It wasn’t only that she hated lighter women; she derived a sick pleasure out of seeing people cry and the color of blood. She and Ashur were undiagnosed sadists.
On the day Ashur pulled up on her, the girls she was fighting were tired of being afraid. They decided to approach her when she was off guard, slash up her face and break her fingers so she would be out of the slicing business. They hadn’t counted on Ashur getting involved. Seeing her fight for her life, Ashur parked his silver Lincoln and strolled out of the car. At first Brownie thought he was coming to help them, so she pulled out her switchblade and pointed it in his direction. “You’s a pretty ass, nigga,” she said, looking at his fly brown suit and crocodile shoes. “And I sho’ would hate to stab your ass. But if you come near me I’ma slash you to the white meat, I swear before God.”
He laughed at the woman he thought was stunning even at her worst. Directing his attention to the three sisters he said, “What can I give you ladies to drop whatever beef you have with this sister?” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the wad of cash he’d just gotten from the bank, envelope included.
Brownie looked at Ashur and then her enemies. She knew their beef ran deep. Two generations deep. Their family didn’t like her dark family members, thinking they were too ugly because of their skin tone, and Brownie’s family couldn’t stand their mix-breed members thinking they believed they were better than the world. Society peppered the media with inconsistent images of beauty, and they were all brainwashed.
“Nigga, this bitch is gonna get the business today,” sister one said. “So why don’t you just crawl back in that Lincoln and move to wherever you came from.”
“I see she’s unreasonable.” He looked at sister two. “What do you say?” He raised the cash bundle. “You wanna make some paper or not?”
“Why don’t you mind your fucking business?” Brownie interrupted, eager to add their faces to the list of slashes she’d created over the years. “I don’t need no fucking help from you or nobody else!”
He laughed and said, “Listen here, bitch, you can talk swiftly to these three sluts over here, but you not gonna speak to me like you fucking crazy. Now I’m trying to save your life, and when I do you owe me, and you better be good at it too. We got an understanding?”
Brownie had never met a man who talked to her so seriously, so she remained silent. Most men knew about her cousins and wouldn’t dare break bad, knowing it could be hazardous to their health.
“Like I was saying,” he continued, focusing back on the women, “what can I offer you ladies?”
The sisters looked at each other and sister one said, “Unless you plan on killing this bitch, you can’t do nothing for me, man.”
Then they turned to Brownie and sister two said, “We’ll see you again.”
“Count on it,” Brownie said, wiping the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her hand.
When the sisters walked away, he offered Brownie a ride and she accepted, curious. She wanted to know what kind of man Ashur was, and although she had a boyfriend named Jay, who she’d been with since high school, he never wanted to be with her in public.
Before long, she started spending more time with Ashur, and less time with Jay. It wasn’t long before they realized they both shared the same sick personalities and traits. They both loved street boxing because of its gore and violence, and they both wanted children. They drank hard and played harder and, after a while, only the sickest pleasures could entertain them properly. At the end of the day, their happiness meant others would have to suffer and that was the bottom line.
“You my crazy baby,” Ashur said as he tossed the empty beer can in the cooler and went to grab another. He was still thinking about the driver they’d just scared off. He handed the beer to Brownie so she could open it. “You know I would kill you if you left me, don’t you?”
“What you think I’ll do to you?” Brownie smiled, handing him the beer. Thinking back on Theo, Brownie said, “I bet you that bitch will stay out our business now.” She was referring to Theo’s mother, Dinette, who used to be her good friend. “Telling mothafuckas we had something to do with that robbery at that convenience store last week. That bitch just jealous we ain’t let her and Tommy in on that shit. Everybody knows when it come to busting a gun, he suckers up.”
“I hear you, but I told you before that you gotta watch who you hang around. Now you finally seeing what happens when you don’t listen to me. Shit goes wrong.”
Ashur, Brownie, Dinette, and Tommy were very close, when all of a sudden things changed. Farah wasn’t allowed to play with Theo, and Dinette stopped accepting Brownie’s calls, and that hurt her because she was her best friend. What she didn’t know was that the real reason Dinette isolated Brownie was because last month, Dinette came home early. When she walked down the hallway she heard a lot of panting and moaning. Opening the bathroom door, her heart sank when she saw her husband, Tommy, bent over on the bathroom sink as Ashur put dick to ass. Although Dinette never said a word, for fear of what Ashur might do, she also never forgot.
“Ashur, that shit will never happen again. Trust me, I learned my lesson.” She paused, thinking about all the nights she and Dinette talked about life, only for her to cut her off.
“Good, because none of them bitches in that building are our friends.” He looked into her eyes before focusing back on the road. “You hear what I’m saying? In this car right here is where it’s at. I’m the only friend you need.”
As Farah’s parents spoke among themselves, she thought about her mother’s recollection of the events behind the school. Although Mia and Brownie held his arms, it was she who had kicked him between the legs. To some it may have been irrelevant, but Farah needed all of the credit she could get since she was already an outsider. “Daddy ...” she said in a low voice. Mia was on her left and Shadow was on her right. “Daddy ...” she said again. At first Ashur didn’t hear her. So she spoke louder. “Daddy!”
Ashur turned the music down and said, “Is that my red baby calling me?” He looked at her face in the rearview mirror.
“Yes, Daddy.” She smiled, circling the top of her soda can with her finger.
“What’s up, baby?”
“Mamma got it wrong.” She swallowed. “About what happened behind the school. I’m the one who kicked Theo in the dick.”
Brownie turned around, reached into the back, and slapped her in the face. All five of her fingers immediately showed upon her red skin. “Fuck you lie on me like that for?” She pointed. “That’s your problem, you’re too fucking grown!”
The moment she drew her hand back, Ashur grabbed Brownie’s throat so hard, she thought her windpipe was going to flatten. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on her neck, he pulled over to the side of the road and parked his old Lincoln.
With her throat still in his grasp, he pointed the finger on his other hand in her face. “Listen here, bitch, you may be tough out there in them streets, and I don’t doubt it one bit, but I better never see you hit one of my kids like that again.” He squeezed tighter, and a tear rolled down her face. “You hear me, black bitch?” She nodded and he released his hold.
Brownie rubbed her neck and sat angrily in the seat with her arms folded over her breasts. It was bad enough that she was cursed with a child the same complexion of the people she hated most. To make matters worse, her own husband wouldn’t allow her to discipline her kids like she saw fit. No worries though, she would simply wait until he was out on one of his drunken binges with his friends. And when that happened, she’d give Farah exactly what she deserved.
The sun was brighter than ever when Farah woke up to the smells of her grandmother’s fried chicken. She knew without asking that they were having some kind of party later on that day and she couldn’t wait to entertain company. Today was a better day because she wasn’t as sick as she normally was, and the weather wasn’t as hot. If her mother wasn’t still angry, she hoped she’d allow her outside so that she could scratch a hopscotch board on the ground, in the hopes of luring new playmates. Friendless and lonely, Farah looked for small ways to entertain herself. Her siblings, who were not as sickly, had friends and lives of their own, so Farah was normally confined to the bed at home.
When she tried to move out of the full-sized bed, it angered her that she could barely budge. She was pinned down due to Mia’s sweaty, wet thigh being draped over her body. “Move, Mia!” she said, hitting her leg. She knew it would never work, because Mia slept harder than a bear hibernating for the winter. “Get off me!”
Mia didn’t budge, so with one hard shove, Mia’s leg fell off of her body. Since she was sleeping in the middle, she hopped over her baby sister, Chloe, who was fast asleep on her right. Sharing a bed with her sisters was uncomfortable, but the fact that Mia was getting bigger each family meal made her sleeping arrangement unbearable.
Out of the bed, Farah grabbed her pink robe off of the chair, and stepped over Shadow, who was sleeping on the floor next to the bed. Since they all shared an apartment with their grandmother, Elise Gill, in Southeast Washington DC, they had to get in where they fit in. Elise’s tiny projects apartment had three bedrooms that could easily be mistaken for walk-in closets because they were so small. But Elise didn’t care. She came from the age where family did what they could for one another, even if it meant putting themselves out. So when her daughter said her family needed help two months back, she accommodated them. Her grandchildren shared one room, Brownie and Ashur shared the other, and she had the master bedroom. The living arrangements worked fine for the kids on the nights they didn’t hear Shadow jerking off to the Janet Jackson swimsuit poster on the wall.
With the robe wrapped around her body, Farah eased out of the bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her siblings. She didn’t know how much cereal was left and wanted to pour as much as she wanted into her bowl.
Right before Farah cut the corner into the kitchen she heard her grandmother talking to her mother, and she stopped dead in her tracks. “Brownie, you know she don’t mean nothing to that man,” Elise said. “But you gotta give mens enough rope to wiggle. You can’t hold ’em hostage. Otherwise, they’ll just leave you.”
Brownie smacked her tongue. “So I’m just supposed to let him fuck who he wants to in front of me?” Brownie was so disrespectful, she didn’t care about cursing in front of her mother, and Elise was so hood, she was used to it. “I’m his wife, Mamma. That shit ain’t gonna fly no more.”
“Did you see him fucking Dinette?” Elise asked. “With your own eyes?”
“No, Mamma! But he was always at her house, and whenever I call over there, mysteriously nobody answers the phone. We were best friends and now she’s closing me out of her life.”
“So that’s what this is about. You miss her.” She shook her head. “Just go apologize, child.”
“I didn’t do nothing wrong!”
“Brownie, y’all beat her child where he can’t play football no more? You better be careful about the message you showing your children, especially Farah, because she is taking notes. That girl don’t wanna do nothing but be like you.”
“Mamma, that ain’t what I’m talking about! I’m talking about my husband!”
“Listen here, child, don’t lose your man on account of something stupid. Now, you got the man. He belongs to you, else he wouldn’t have made you his wife. Be happy for that and leave the rest alone.”
“It’s not that easy!”
“You sure you don’t still love that other man? I heard you been running around town with Jay every now and again. You better be careful ... If your secret gets out, it will destroy your marriage.”
Brownie remained silent and Elise knew she struck a nerve. “Mamma, you think Jay left me because I’m dark? It just seemed like we were so good when we were alone.”
“Who knows? ... Anyway, you married now.” She shrugged. “Could’ve been a lot of reasons it didn’t work, if you know what I mean. As far as your complexion, I been told you all your life, you black. You that blue black like my mamma, and her mamma before that. Everybody not blessed with pretty skin like Farah. You ugly but you not dumb, Brownie. It ain’t nothing to be ashamed of neither.” She continued, “You gonna spend your whole life chasing away mens if you get mad they like a little something different from time to time.” Farah heard the sound of a spoon stirring in a pot. “Focus on Ashur and leave Jay alone,” Elise said sternly. “Most men don’t make a woman as black as you they wife. Be glad for that.”
“But I wish I was different. Seems like Ashur is into red bitches too!”
“Why are you so obsessed with being something you not? Embrace your blackness, baby. It’s the color of our ancestors.”
“I don’t wanna be like our ancestors!” Brownie yelled. “I wanna be different.”
“Brownie—”
“And why would you name me that, Mamma?” Brownie sobbed, interrupting her mother. “Do you know how many bitches I had to fight because of that name? I’m already black; did you have to give me a name that brings attention to it?”
“I named you that because I loves it. And I wanted you to also. But you black, baby. Some people gotta be black and fight harder for what they want, while others don’t. Be glad one of your children don’t have to be cursed like we are.”
“See what I’m saying, Mamma? You think we’re cursed.”
“I’m just up on the world, Brownie. And I’m gonna always shoot you straight. Life ain’t easy for people with skin like ours, but we can learn to make it better.”
Somewhere in Brownie’s heart of hearts she knew what her mother was saying was wrong. She would look into the mirror and see a cute nose, wide, beautiful eyes, and pink pouty lips. Yet when she’d go out into the world, she’d feel ugly by her own people.
“So, you really think I’m ugly, Mamma?”
“I think you’s black. And to some folks, that’s one in the same.”
Overcome with sorrow, Brownie stormed out of kitchen and bumped into her daughter, who was on all fours ear hustling on the floor. “Fuck you doing right there? And how long
“Hold his arms, babies! Hold ’em tight, too!” Brownie ordered her children Mia and Shadow, as they stood behind a bush in the back of Farah’s school. “I want him spread out like he Jesus on the cross!” A maniacal grin covered her chocolate skin, and her pink tongue hung out the side of her mouth. There was nothing more in life she loved than inflicting pain on others and the sight of blood. “That’s good. Just like that,” she coached. “Get ready, Farah. ’Cause I need you to pull his shorts down.”
Without looking into the boy’s eyes, she pulled down his shorts.
“Good ... Now get his drawers, too!” Brownie said.
With her eyes slammed shut, Farah pulled the boy’s drawers down, exposing his penis.
“Perfect, now get ready to kick him where it counts.”
“But what if he gets loose and hits me?” Farah asked, this time looking at her classmate, a boy she liked very much, a kid who just a few hours ago loaned her a few pieces of paper and a number 2 pencil to do her work in class. Her light skin, riddled with old sore scars, was flushed and she felt like she was five minutes from breaking out in hives. All her life, she along with her mother, sisters, and brother suffered from what they believed were allergies of the worst kind. Although their attacks seemed to be few and far between, Farah’s were triggered by anything from stress to the scent of household chemicals. “I don’t wanna do it!”
“They not gonna let him get you!” Brownie yelled, growing irritated with her daughter. “Are you, babies?”
“We got him, Mamma!” Shadow said, gripping Theo Cunningham’s wrist harder, as his older sister, Mia, grabbed his other wrist and pulled in the opposite direction. Shadow’s face, which was deep chocolate like the rest of their family, formed a row of sweat, which he quickly wiped away with his free hand. “He ain’t going nowhere!”
When they had a good hold of the twelve-year-old’s arms she said, “That’s good, Mia and Shadow! Keep him right there.”
“Sure thing, Mamma!” Mia said as she struggled to grab a few much-needed breaths due to being overweight. “This nigga gotta pay for the sins of his mother!” she continued, repeating Brownie’s deranged words. Brownie smiled in approval.
Farah stood next to her siblings, and looked at how they all seemed to enjoy what they were doing to the boy. Her confusion seemed to bring more attention to the fact that she was not like them. If you were to walk into the DC project they lived in, and pointed out the members of the Cotton family, you would surely pass over Farah a million times. People told her all the time how she was the pretty red one in the family and how she should be grateful she didn’t turn out as black as her mother, father, sisters, and brother. Farah never looked at the difference as a blessing. In her eyes, it was quite the contrary. She never wanted anything more than to look like the people she lived with every day.
She felt like an outcast when people would walk up to them, single her out, and say, “You so pretty, even with them scars on your face, and you got good hair, too.” What she wouldn’t give to sit between her mother’s legs in the kitchen and have her hair pressed and then styled with green grease like Chloe. How she prayed she’d wake up with a smooth, dark complexion like Mia, but her wish was never granted.
Her skin was yellow, her hair black, wavy, and shiny, and her heart was nowhere as hollow as the members of her family. It was true: nothing about Farah said she was a Cotton, except her last name. It wasn’t like the rest of the family wasn’t beautiful. When they weren’t fighting, and causing problems in the neighborhood, they were quite stunning to look at with their smooth skin tones reminiscent of the kings and queens of Africa. But because they were so unruly, nobody gave a fuck about outside appearances. They were ugly inside, so that made them ugly outside too.
“Please let me go,” Theo begged, as long strands of snot oozed from his nose and fell into his mouth. He quickly lapped up the salty nasal mucus to continue his pleading. “I didn’t do nothing!”
“Stop standing over there looking crazy, RedBone!” Brownie yelled, waking Farah out of her trivial thoughts. “Kick him in his dick! And do it hard, too, like we talked about!”
Farah looked at Theo, who was crying harder. “I don’t want to do it, Mama,” she refused. “He let me use his pencil at school today. He’s really nice!”
“You heard what the fuck I said, girl!” Brownie screamed as she pointed her long finger in her face. “That’s why I know you’re not no real Cotton! You not a fighter! And if Cottons don’t do nothing else, we fight and defend our name!”
“I am a Cotton!” Farah said with wide eyes.
Brownie always embraced an opportunity to make Farah feel inferior when she wanted her to do something. “Then do it!”
Farah walked slowly over to Theo, closed her eyes, and with all her might she kicked in Theo’s direction.
“Ouch!” Mia screamed, rubbing her knee. “Open your eyes and do it, Farah.” Mia knew her sister was scared but she also knew if she didn’t do as told she could end up in far worse trouble with Brownie. “So what, he gave you a pencil? We your family! Kick him!”
She didn’t move and Brownie was growing impatient.
“Do it, Farah!” Shadow encouraged. “Keep your eyes open and look him in the face, too!” Using Pig Latin, which his mother didn’t understand, he said, “Ihay ontday antway OmMammay otay uckfay ouyay uphay! which meant, “I don’t want Mamma to fuck you up!”
Hearing her brother’s words, this time with her eyes wide open, she kicked him hard between the legs. Theo screamed out in pain and his body fell forward.
“Let him go,” Brownie said. They released him, and Mia and Shadow laughed at the child crying out in pain. Brownie walked over to him and stood over his little body. She was a grown woman, orchestrating the beat down of a child, and she was emotionless. “Y’all go on over to the car.” She pointed up the hill. “Your father is waiting. Don’t spoil the surprise, either. I wanna tell him what happened myself. Before they left Shadow kicked him in the stomach before Mia hog spit on top of his hair.
Farah, on the other hand, didn’t budge. She wanted to help Theo out, and tell him how sorry she was. He was the only friend she had at school, and now she was certain that he’d hate her. “Come on, RedBone,” Brownie said, putting her hand on Farah’s shoulder. “You did good today.”
When Farah didn’t move quick enough for Brownie’s taste she yelled, “Bitch, get your red ass to the car. It ain’t like the little nigga dead! He just got his nuts pushed up. She laughed.
Worried her mother would order her beat down next, she followed her family to her father’s car. They all jumped inside, and the moment the last door was closed, Ashur Cotton sped away from the scene.
In the car, everyone but Farah seemed to be glued to the news announcer’s voice on the radio. A few days ago in Virginia, a pregnant teenage girl was stabbed to death in her stomach and face, along with her father. After a proper investigation, they learned that her boyfriend, who she dumped because he hit her in the stomach, in an attempt to abort the baby, murdered her. When the boy frantically escaped the scene, he left his high school ID and the knife with his fingerprints on her bed. When he told his mother and father about what happened, they were distraught, but decided to help him cover the crime. The plan was to get his ID and knife, after wiping the fingerprints away. But they didn’t account for her father being home from work early. Unaware that his daughter was murdered in the room, the boy’s parents killed him and went on the run. Somebody recognized the boy and alerted the police. Everybody in their neighborhood was up in arms about the heinous act, accept for the Cottons.
“I hope they don’t catch him,” Ashur said, turning the radio down. “The little bitch probably deserved it.”
“They’re probably in Mexico now,” Brownie responded, waving at the radio.
“Y’all get him good?” Ashur asked his children, who were in the back seat. He put his Marvin Gaye tape in the deck, and cruised down the road on the way back to the house.
“Yeah, Dad.” Shadow smiled. “We did everything Mamma planned.”
“Just like we talked about, right?”
“What you think?” Brownie asked. “These my mothafuckin kids we talkin about! She laughed. “They were born for war.” She crossed her thick, sexy legs, and wiggled her foot. “We ain’t come here for nothing.”
He laughed. “You may have pushed’em out that fat pussy of yours, but it was this nut,” he said, gripping his dick, “that made it possible.”
“You right about that.” She laughed, and lit a cigarette.
Brownie looked back at Mia and Shadow, who were smiling slyly in the back seat. She hated that Farah’s head hung low as she looked at her shoe, which was tinged with Theo’s blood. What’s wrong with Mamma? And Daddy? Farah thought, looking at everyone. I don’t wanna be like them. He was my friend.
“You thirsty, baby girl?” Ashur asked Mia, waking Farah out of her thoughts.
“You know it, Daddy.” She rubbed her ashy hands together. The smoke from her mother’s cigarette choked the air.
“Y’all thirsty too?”
Shadow nodded and Farah said, “Yes, Daddy.” Ashur tossed eighteen-year-old Mia a beer, and threw Shadow and Farah an RC Cola from the small cooler in the front.
“I want a beer too.” Shadow pouted, frowning at the drink.
“Not if you want teeth,” Ashur countered. “You want your teeth or a beer?”
“I’ll drink the soda,” Shadow said, defeated.
“That’s what the fuck I thought.” Focusing back on Brownie he said, “Did he cry? They swear the boy tougher than our son. So if you ain’t make him cry, it won’t make no difference.” Ashur handed Brownie a beer to open for him.
She popped the top and handed it back. “He whined like a bitch.” She smiled. “Trust me.”
Ashur had already gulped half of his beer as he continued down the street. “I bet you he won’t be playing no football now.” He laughed, incensed that his own son couldn’t even stand outside in the sun for long periods, because his skin would blister. His children’s condition was so bad at times that he would often stay out of the house for days at a time just to avoid hearing their cries. “I want him useless at the football game on Saturday, Brownie.”
“Trust me, he was crying like a bitch.” Brownie laughed. “Mia and Shadow beat his ass and then Mia kicked him in the nuts.” She was laughing so hard she couldn’t contain herself. “You should’ve seen him holding his hands between his legs with his mouth all open.” She slapped her knee. “I’m telling you that bitch gonna get the message now, and the boy ain’t playing no football.”
“It’s okay, because if that don’t work we’ll break his arms. He definitely won’t be playing then!” Ashur looked at his half-crazy wife, leaned over, and kissed her passionately, while barely looking at the road ahead of him. He almost hit a car and the driver beeped loudly to avoid a collision.
Farah jumped and held on to her brother’s arm, praying they didn’t get into an accident. Since her condition could also be exacerbated by feeling panicked, Shadow whispered, “It’s okay, Farah. Don’t be scared. Daddy got the car.” The smallest matters always went from zero to one hundred when she was with her family. Every day she was learning traits that wouldn’t suit her well in life.
Ashur broke away from his beautiful wife’s kiss and looked at the driver who had just beeped them out. Since both cars arrived at a light, Ashur rolled his window down to taunt the man. He was angry all the time, and loved antagonizing others. “Watch where the fuck you going, nigga!” Ashur yelled, pointing his gun in the car’s direction.
“Unless you want me to bury you and that bitch!” Brownie added, aiming her gun also.
The driver was so alarmed that he sped away from the scene with his life in tow. Ashur snickered and could feel his dick growing rock hard because of all the excitement. Every time they got into shit together, he wanted to bend his wife over on the front of his Lincoln and fuck her in her asshole. They were deliriously in love and they could not see life without savagery and pain. The Cotton family, with Ashur as their lead, was a group of fucking troublemakers and everybody in Southeast DC knew it. That didn’t stop them from moving about the city as if it were not true. Many said the world would have been better off if Ashur had never stepped to Brownie the first day he saw her face.
Many years back, when Ashur Cotton pulled up on Brownie Johnson in the summer of 1972, it was a match made in hell. Before meeting the woman who would soon be his wife, Ashur was a small-time street thug whose heart was filled with rage and confusion. Although he was violent, women doted on him, not because of his smooth, chocolate-dark skin or fit body, but because he was unpredictable, and that made him dangerous and fascinating. If he wasn’t robbing hard-working citizens of their paychecks, he was defrauding insurance companies by purposely getting into car accidents. Ashur had a hustle in mind at all times, never wanting to miss an opportunity to hit his big payday.
After leaving the bank one Thursday on June 29 from cashing in on one of his get-rich-quick schemes, he spotted the sexiest bowlegged female his eyes had ever seen. She was stacked like an Amazon with fat titties, a shapely derriere, and thick, pretty legs. Although he approached her with lustful ventures in mind, the average man would’ve kept it moving because nothing about Brownie at the moment was appealing. She was dripping in her own sweat, barefoot, and wearing a pair of dingy blue jean shorts and a white noxious-smelling T-shirt. Her fists were balled up tightly as she fought off three light-skinned females, who were tired of her fucking with their family.
Brownie Johnson loved to cause shit. It was her life’s work. If you said it was Thursday, she’d purposely say it was Friday just to get a rise out of you. And if fucking with your head didn’t evoke the right response by mixing the truth, she’d throw a “fuck your mamma” insult your way, knowing that would always do the trick. On the streets of DC, Brownie slashed more faces of beautiful light-skinned women than the most popular Beverly Hills plastic surgeon. Her name rang bells and if you were in her presence and your skin was lighter than the color of a paper bag, you’d better split. It wasn’t only that she hated lighter women; she derived a sick pleasure out of seeing people cry and the color of blood. She and Ashur were undiagnosed sadists.
On the day Ashur pulled up on her, the girls she was fighting were tired of being afraid. They decided to approach her when she was off guard, slash up her face and break her fingers so she would be out of the slicing business. They hadn’t counted on Ashur getting involved. Seeing her fight for her life, Ashur parked his silver Lincoln and strolled out of the car. At first Brownie thought he was coming to help them, so she pulled out her switchblade and pointed it in his direction. “You’s a pretty ass, nigga,” she said, looking at his fly brown suit and crocodile shoes. “And I sho’ would hate to stab your ass. But if you come near me I’ma slash you to the white meat, I swear before God.”
He laughed at the woman he thought was stunning even at her worst. Directing his attention to the three sisters he said, “What can I give you ladies to drop whatever beef you have with this sister?” He reached in his pocket and pulled out the wad of cash he’d just gotten from the bank, envelope included.
Brownie looked at Ashur and then her enemies. She knew their beef ran deep. Two generations deep. Their family didn’t like her dark family members, thinking they were too ugly because of their skin tone, and Brownie’s family couldn’t stand their mix-breed members thinking they believed they were better than the world. Society peppered the media with inconsistent images of beauty, and they were all brainwashed.
“Nigga, this bitch is gonna get the business today,” sister one said. “So why don’t you just crawl back in that Lincoln and move to wherever you came from.”
“I see she’s unreasonable.” He looked at sister two. “What do you say?” He raised the cash bundle. “You wanna make some paper or not?”
“Why don’t you mind your fucking business?” Brownie interrupted, eager to add their faces to the list of slashes she’d created over the years. “I don’t need no fucking help from you or nobody else!”
He laughed and said, “Listen here, bitch, you can talk swiftly to these three sluts over here, but you not gonna speak to me like you fucking crazy. Now I’m trying to save your life, and when I do you owe me, and you better be good at it too. We got an understanding?”
Brownie had never met a man who talked to her so seriously, so she remained silent. Most men knew about her cousins and wouldn’t dare break bad, knowing it could be hazardous to their health.
“Like I was saying,” he continued, focusing back on the women, “what can I offer you ladies?”
The sisters looked at each other and sister one said, “Unless you plan on killing this bitch, you can’t do nothing for me, man.”
Then they turned to Brownie and sister two said, “We’ll see you again.”
“Count on it,” Brownie said, wiping the sweat off of her forehead with the back of her hand.
When the sisters walked away, he offered Brownie a ride and she accepted, curious. She wanted to know what kind of man Ashur was, and although she had a boyfriend named Jay, who she’d been with since high school, he never wanted to be with her in public.
Before long, she started spending more time with Ashur, and less time with Jay. It wasn’t long before they realized they both shared the same sick personalities and traits. They both loved street boxing because of its gore and violence, and they both wanted children. They drank hard and played harder and, after a while, only the sickest pleasures could entertain them properly. At the end of the day, their happiness meant others would have to suffer and that was the bottom line.
“You my crazy baby,” Ashur said as he tossed the empty beer can in the cooler and went to grab another. He was still thinking about the driver they’d just scared off. He handed the beer to Brownie so she could open it. “You know I would kill you if you left me, don’t you?”
“What you think I’ll do to you?” Brownie smiled, handing him the beer. Thinking back on Theo, Brownie said, “I bet you that bitch will stay out our business now.” She was referring to Theo’s mother, Dinette, who used to be her good friend. “Telling mothafuckas we had something to do with that robbery at that convenience store last week. That bitch just jealous we ain’t let her and Tommy in on that shit. Everybody knows when it come to busting a gun, he suckers up.”
“I hear you, but I told you before that you gotta watch who you hang around. Now you finally seeing what happens when you don’t listen to me. Shit goes wrong.”
Ashur, Brownie, Dinette, and Tommy were very close, when all of a sudden things changed. Farah wasn’t allowed to play with Theo, and Dinette stopped accepting Brownie’s calls, and that hurt her because she was her best friend. What she didn’t know was that the real reason Dinette isolated Brownie was because last month, Dinette came home early. When she walked down the hallway she heard a lot of panting and moaning. Opening the bathroom door, her heart sank when she saw her husband, Tommy, bent over on the bathroom sink as Ashur put dick to ass. Although Dinette never said a word, for fear of what Ashur might do, she also never forgot.
“Ashur, that shit will never happen again. Trust me, I learned my lesson.” She paused, thinking about all the nights she and Dinette talked about life, only for her to cut her off.
“Good, because none of them bitches in that building are our friends.” He looked into her eyes before focusing back on the road. “You hear what I’m saying? In this car right here is where it’s at. I’m the only friend you need.”
As Farah’s parents spoke among themselves, she thought about her mother’s recollection of the events behind the school. Although Mia and Brownie held his arms, it was she who had kicked him between the legs. To some it may have been irrelevant, but Farah needed all of the credit she could get since she was already an outsider. “Daddy ...” she said in a low voice. Mia was on her left and Shadow was on her right. “Daddy ...” she said again. At first Ashur didn’t hear her. So she spoke louder. “Daddy!”
Ashur turned the music down and said, “Is that my red baby calling me?” He looked at her face in the rearview mirror.
“Yes, Daddy.” She smiled, circling the top of her soda can with her finger.
“What’s up, baby?”
“Mamma got it wrong.” She swallowed. “About what happened behind the school. I’m the one who kicked Theo in the dick.”
Brownie turned around, reached into the back, and slapped her in the face. All five of her fingers immediately showed upon her red skin. “Fuck you lie on me like that for?” She pointed. “That’s your problem, you’re too fucking grown!”
The moment she drew her hand back, Ashur grabbed Brownie’s throat so hard, she thought her windpipe was going to flatten. With one hand on the steering wheel and the other on her neck, he pulled over to the side of the road and parked his old Lincoln.
With her throat still in his grasp, he pointed the finger on his other hand in her face. “Listen here, bitch, you may be tough out there in them streets, and I don’t doubt it one bit, but I better never see you hit one of my kids like that again.” He squeezed tighter, and a tear rolled down her face. “You hear me, black bitch?” She nodded and he released his hold.
Brownie rubbed her neck and sat angrily in the seat with her arms folded over her breasts. It was bad enough that she was cursed with a child the same complexion of the people she hated most. To make matters worse, her own husband wouldn’t allow her to discipline her kids like she saw fit. No worries though, she would simply wait until he was out on one of his drunken binges with his friends. And when that happened, she’d give Farah exactly what she deserved.
The sun was brighter than ever when Farah woke up to the smells of her grandmother’s fried chicken. She knew without asking that they were having some kind of party later on that day and she couldn’t wait to entertain company. Today was a better day because she wasn’t as sick as she normally was, and the weather wasn’t as hot. If her mother wasn’t still angry, she hoped she’d allow her outside so that she could scratch a hopscotch board on the ground, in the hopes of luring new playmates. Friendless and lonely, Farah looked for small ways to entertain herself. Her siblings, who were not as sickly, had friends and lives of their own, so Farah was normally confined to the bed at home.
When she tried to move out of the full-sized bed, it angered her that she could barely budge. She was pinned down due to Mia’s sweaty, wet thigh being draped over her body. “Move, Mia!” she said, hitting her leg. She knew it would never work, because Mia slept harder than a bear hibernating for the winter. “Get off me!”
Mia didn’t budge, so with one hard shove, Mia’s leg fell off of her body. Since she was sleeping in the middle, she hopped over her baby sister, Chloe, who was fast asleep on her right. Sharing a bed with her sisters was uncomfortable, but the fact that Mia was getting bigger each family meal made her sleeping arrangement unbearable.
Out of the bed, Farah grabbed her pink robe off of the chair, and stepped over Shadow, who was sleeping on the floor next to the bed. Since they all shared an apartment with their grandmother, Elise Gill, in Southeast Washington DC, they had to get in where they fit in. Elise’s tiny projects apartment had three bedrooms that could easily be mistaken for walk-in closets because they were so small. But Elise didn’t care. She came from the age where family did what they could for one another, even if it meant putting themselves out. So when her daughter said her family needed help two months back, she accommodated them. Her grandchildren shared one room, Brownie and Ashur shared the other, and she had the master bedroom. The living arrangements worked fine for the kids on the nights they didn’t hear Shadow jerking off to the Janet Jackson swimsuit poster on the wall.
With the robe wrapped around her body, Farah eased out of the bedroom so she wouldn’t wake up her siblings. She didn’t know how much cereal was left and wanted to pour as much as she wanted into her bowl.
Right before Farah cut the corner into the kitchen she heard her grandmother talking to her mother, and she stopped dead in her tracks. “Brownie, you know she don’t mean nothing to that man,” Elise said. “But you gotta give mens enough rope to wiggle. You can’t hold ’em hostage. Otherwise, they’ll just leave you.”
Brownie smacked her tongue. “So I’m just supposed to let him fuck who he wants to in front of me?” Brownie was so disrespectful, she didn’t care about cursing in front of her mother, and Elise was so hood, she was used to it. “I’m his wife, Mamma. That shit ain’t gonna fly no more.”
“Did you see him fucking Dinette?” Elise asked. “With your own eyes?”
“No, Mamma! But he was always at her house, and whenever I call over there, mysteriously nobody answers the phone. We were best friends and now she’s closing me out of her life.”
“So that’s what this is about. You miss her.” She shook her head. “Just go apologize, child.”
“I didn’t do nothing wrong!”
“Brownie, y’all beat her child where he can’t play football no more? You better be careful about the message you showing your children, especially Farah, because she is taking notes. That girl don’t wanna do nothing but be like you.”
“Mamma, that ain’t what I’m talking about! I’m talking about my husband!”
“Listen here, child, don’t lose your man on account of something stupid. Now, you got the man. He belongs to you, else he wouldn’t have made you his wife. Be happy for that and leave the rest alone.”
“It’s not that easy!”
“You sure you don’t still love that other man? I heard you been running around town with Jay every now and again. You better be careful ... If your secret gets out, it will destroy your marriage.”
Brownie remained silent and Elise knew she struck a nerve. “Mamma, you think Jay left me because I’m dark? It just seemed like we were so good when we were alone.”
“Who knows? ... Anyway, you married now.” She shrugged. “Could’ve been a lot of reasons it didn’t work, if you know what I mean. As far as your complexion, I been told you all your life, you black. You that blue black like my mamma, and her mamma before that. Everybody not blessed with pretty skin like Farah. You ugly but you not dumb, Brownie. It ain’t nothing to be ashamed of neither.” She continued, “You gonna spend your whole life chasing away mens if you get mad they like a little something different from time to time.” Farah heard the sound of a spoon stirring in a pot. “Focus on Ashur and leave Jay alone,” Elise said sternly. “Most men don’t make a woman as black as you they wife. Be glad for that.”
“But I wish I was different. Seems like Ashur is into red bitches too!”
“Why are you so obsessed with being something you not? Embrace your blackness, baby. It’s the color of our ancestors.”
“I don’t wanna be like our ancestors!” Brownie yelled. “I wanna be different.”
“Brownie—”
“And why would you name me that, Mamma?” Brownie sobbed, interrupting her mother. “Do you know how many bitches I had to fight because of that name? I’m already black; did you have to give me a name that brings attention to it?”
“I named you that because I loves it. And I wanted you to also. But you black, baby. Some people gotta be black and fight harder for what they want, while others don’t. Be glad one of your children don’t have to be cursed like we are.”
“See what I’m saying, Mamma? You think we’re cursed.”
“I’m just up on the world, Brownie. And I’m gonna always shoot you straight. Life ain’t easy for people with skin like ours, but we can learn to make it better.”
Somewhere in Brownie’s heart of hearts she knew what her mother was saying was wrong. She would look into the mirror and see a cute nose, wide, beautiful eyes, and pink pouty lips. Yet when she’d go out into the world, she’d feel ugly by her own people.
“So, you really think I’m ugly, Mamma?”
“I think you’s black. And to some folks, that’s one in the same.”
Overcome with sorrow, Brownie stormed out of kitchen and bumped into her daughter, who was on all fours ear hustling on the floor. “Fuck you doing right there? And how long
We hope you are enjoying the book so far. To continue reading...
Copyright © 2024 All Rights Reserved
