I blamed the bird.
I was standing at the sink, washing my dishes from breakfast when the cardinal first appeared outside my window. Of course, I noticed him. I lived on my own, was always alone, and had come to relish the little bits of company I had.
He was dashing. Bright red, and when the sunlight caught him, it looked as if his feathers were made of pure fire. I was completely distracted and dropped the plate I was drying. I jumped back as it shattered into pieces, scattering across the floor.
At least it’s Saturday. I’d have taken it as a bad omen if it had been a workday. Broken plate, another broken marriage. After four years, my work as a divorce lawyer was starting to wear me down. Watching families fall apart on a daily basis would do that to you.
But nothing could have put a damper on that particular Saturday. For the first time in fifteen years, I’d be seeing Ian Mackenzie. My best friend through high school and college, we’d parted ways when I got married. He went off to become a sculptor and travel the globe, while I’d stayed put, gotten married, divorced, and ended up in family law hell. He’d been living the life while I’d been learning to be alone.
Ian was coming to town to pack up his late father’s apartment. Mr. Mackenzie had passed away suddenly, and as the only child and surviving family member, it was up to Ian to settle his affairs. He was due to arrive at around eleven. I checked the clock on the wall. It was a quarter to.
I bent down to pick up the pieces of ceramic. As I tossed them in the trash, I managed a nasty gash on my right index finger. I yelped as I watched the blood flow and got up to run it under cold water. When the stars stopped swirling behind my eyes, I found a dishtowel, wrapped up my hand, and went in search of bandages. I was sure there were some somewhere. Maybe the bird had been an omen.
The bell rang as I was midway up the stairs. I paused, feeling a flutter of excitement. Ian. I turned and raced down the stairs, slowing myself to a halt as I got to the door. I didn’t want to appear desperate.
There he stood. Handsome as always, perhaps even more so due to the subtle lines around his eyes and mouth. They gave him that sexy, rugged look. He had dark curly hair, peppered with grey now, that fell just past his ears. He grinned when he saw me, his smile reaching his dark eyes, which widened and lit up when I opened the door. He was in great shape; that was apparent even through his leather jacket. Plainly put, he was drop-dead gorgeous. Just like I remembered from high school.
“Lou!” he cried, sweeping me into a giant bear hug.
I couldn’t stop the smile that broke out. I held his shoulders as he swung me around and planted a kiss on my cheek.
“Mac,” I said, inadvertently reverting to his high school nickname.
He smiled as he set me back down.
“How you been, Lou?”
“Why don’t you come inside and I’ll tell you?”
I opened the door wider and he followed me inside. For the first time in the five years since I’d moved into the house, I cursed myself for not having done the necessary renovations. I was living in the past. I’d inherited the house from my mother and the furniture had belonged to her mother. It was 2020 and I was surrounded by florals and brocade. The drapes didn’t even open anymore, the mechanism long broken.
It had never bothered me before. I had grown blind to it all, living in my little bubble. But now, seeing it through his eyes, it was painful. I cringed to think what was going through his mind.
“Shit,” he said. “Exactly like I remember it.”
He turned around, taking it all in. Then he shifted his gaze to me, studying my face.
“I mean, exactly. Everything okay, Lou?”
“Everything is fine, Mac.”
He nodded and showed himself into the kitchen. He rifled through the cabinets until he found himself a glass, then opened the fridge in search of a drink. He pulled out a container of orange juice and poured himself a glass. Even though we hadn’t seen each other in fifteen years, it was completely natural. He pretty much lived in this house while we were growing up. But now, the kitchen seemed tiny and he seemed so…huge. Almost as an afterthought, he looked at me.
“Want some?”
“It’s okay. I just ate.”
He nodded again and downed his juice.
“I’m so sorry about your dad,” I said.
“Yeah. It really sucks that he was on his own. I was due to visit in a couple of weeks.”
“How often did you visit him?”
“As often as I could. At least four or five times a year.”
“And you never called before this?”
He looked at me for a long time.
“I only found out recently about the divorce.”
“And the idea of my marriage is what stopped you from calling?”
“Let’s just say death makes you reevaluate things.”
This had gotten awfully serious, awfully fast.
Ian and I had been close at one time. Extremely close. Always platonic, though. He was like a brother to me. One I got along with. He was that guy in high school that everyone loved. He was sweet but had an edge. He didn’t judge people, no matter their social status. And he was popular. I was not. We only met because I was assigned to be his peer tutor in English and history. Over the course of the year, we became friends, and it stuck. Until I got married.
“So what have you been up to?” I asked, trying to lighten the mood.
“Shows, mainly. I’ve had openings all across Europe, and quite frankly, I’m glad that’s done with. Have you heard about this virus? Man, it’s scary as hell.”
“I know. I’ve been following it very carefully. In case you don’t remember—”
“You were the world’s biggest hypochondriac,” he finished for me. “Still?”
“Still.”
“Well, in any case, I’m hoping to find somewhere to stay put for a while. I haven’t created anything in months, and it’s killing me. I need to set up a studio and get to work.”
“Where?”
“Haven’t decided. All my shit is in storage here for the moment. And now with this virus…”
“Well, in any case, I’m happy to see you. And you’re welcome to crash here tonight if you need a place to stay.”
His eyes lit up once again, that grin reaching his ears.
“Really, Lou? That would be great. I’d love the chance to crack open a bottle of wine and catch up.”
I grinned back. It was so good to see him. My life had been filled with a lot of anger and bitterness, and let’s face it, loneliness. I tried to stay upbeat through it all, but my life was getting me down. Seeing Ian again drove it all home. I had strayed very far from my path and was starting to have regrets. It would be nice to have him around.
“Let me go make up the bed in the spare room, and then we’ll hit the grocery store. It’s been a long time since I cooked for you.”
“Oh my god, Lou. Let me do something for you.”
“Just rest.”
I got up from my seat at the table and went upstairs.
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