Ava and Gen are best friends. Ava knows what she wants and has plans to achieve her goals. Gen...not so much. But no matter how annoying, dramatic, or utterly bananas a 2 a.m. rant might get — Ava has always been there for Gen and Gen for Ava. But then they graduated high school.
Now, they're in the same time zone (although over a thousand miles apart), and in the real world, and it's the worst, but they still have each other's support. For relationships. Questionable roommates. Internships. And whether or not it's a good idea to take in a feral cat. Through their hilarious, sometimes emotional, conversations, Ava and Gen help each other navigate. But as the two of them start to change, will their friendship survive the distance?
In Please Send Help, the hilarious new audiobook from the New York Times bestselling authors of I Hate Everyone But You, Allison Raskin and Gaby Dunn perfectly capture the voice of young adults looking to find their place in the world, proving no matter how desperate things seem, your best friend is always there to reboot your life and send help.
Release date:
July 16, 2019
Publisher:
St. Martin's Publishing Group
Print pages:
352
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I’ve officially scoured every inch of my brand-new (to me) N.Y.C. apartment and did not find a single bug, bug dropping or cobweb. Is it possible that I am the exception to the rule? Will I somehow survive my early twenties without finding la cucaracha in my bed? I better be. I might have beaten out hundreds of kids for this internship but I will pack up and go home to Cali the moment I feel something crawling on me.
Remember that time junior year of high school when that spider fell on my head during the only time I made out in high school???? And then you called me a Bug Queen while I cried? I think I finally have enough time and perspective to find that hilarious now. (Memories … Makes me feel fine! FYI that was to the tune of Summer breeze … Makes me feel fine.)
My roomie/co-intern still isn’t here even though we both start at 7AM tomorrow. I took the bigger room at first, but then felt bad and moved into the smaller one. Why do I do this to myself? Unclear, my dear friend, unclear!
I can’t believe I’m officially an adult. I mean I have zero income and no social life to speak of but I officially go to “work” now instead of “school.” Did you ever think we’d make it this far when we were fourteen and I was still figuring out how to properly shave my armpit hair without cutting myself? I sure didn’t! We don’t even live on the West Coast anymore! Life is crazy! (I know you haven’t really lived on the West Coast for four years, but I’ve always been a late bloomer.) At this rate I should have a husband and kids by forty-five! Anything is possible!
Speaking of the impossible becoming possible …
Mind the Gap with Halona McBride!!
I get to work on Mind the Gap with Halona McBride!! The greatest show on television! The only prime-time late-night show on television with a female host! But I don’t have to tell you that. Because I already told you all summer long. (Thank you again for coming back to L.A. to pretty much exclusively hang out with me. I needed one last summer with my BFF. Plus you’d outgrown Boston/Emerson anyway. I like to think I outgrew USC after my third semester…)
Wow. I’m sweating. What do you think Halona McBride smells like? Will I get close enough to smell her? My thoughts are spinning!
I know it’s only 8PM but I want to go to bed. I guess I have to wait for Dana to get here so she doesn’t think I’m a freak who goes to bed at 8PM regularly. (I only do it on school nights.)
TELL ME ABOUT YOUR APARTMENT! IS IT INSIDE A SWAMP?!
Hi!! Sorry to reply so late. I hope you’re asleep by now since it’s well past 9PM. My apartment is infested with alligators and mosquitos. I’ve made them my pets. I named one after you. She’s very pretty …
Turns out Florida is HOT! And not in a good way. My pits have been dripping since we touched down. I can’t tell if not shaving them has made it better or worse. (The smell is definitely worse.)
Turns out, my apartment is right by the airport. So I can escape at the drop of a hat if it turns out journalism isn’t for me.
JUST KIDDING! I am clearly following my dream of upholding the fourth estate by writing for a failing Southern newspaper. The Fernandina Beach Centennial will rise from its grave on my hardworking back! Or I’ll quit and start blogging my diet like most of my former classmates. And your grandma thought I wouldn’t amount to anything!
My studio apartment is surprisingly big for $650 a month, but I guess that’s the cost of no living. I don’t have any furniture, so I’m gonna sleep on the floor tonight and figure out my interior design vision tomorrow. I’m thinking tacky yet beachy.
Okay, ta ta for now. I have one hundred hours of Forensic Files to catch up on.
TITS & ASS
Gen
Mon, Sep 9, 5:30 AM
FIRST DAY OF WORK!
DANA IS A BOY!
MY LIFE IS CRAZY!
6:45 AM
First one here. Building is locked.
6:48 AM
Door was not locked. Security guy was watching me struggle the whole time. Mortifying.
6:55 AM
Remember when I thought the door was locked?!
No one else is here.
8:35 AM
Dana’s a dude????
How hot?
1 to 10
9:35 AM
Smart on you for taking some time to think about it. I eagerly await your response re: Dana’s hotness.
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