The music is a deep, throbbing beat that seems to soak into every molecule of the room, inspiring the occupants to sin. Or if not inspiring, then at least smoothing away any lingering worries about clinging to the perception of purity that the upper city values so highly.
We’re not in the upper city now.
I glance at my phone for the fifth time in ten minutes and curse under my breath when the text I’m waiting for finally comes through.
Ariadne: My dad put us on lockdown. I’m sorry, but I can’t come tonight.
I’ve spent three weeks and tried half a dozen failed attempts to get Ariadne into Hades’s kink club. Lying through my teeth about how no one will know who she is. Feeling guilty for coaxing her into what is essentially a trap when she shows all evidence of being a lovely person. That guilt has faded thanks to the events of the last month.
People are dying and the fault lies with the Vitalis family. With Ariadne’s family. Her father might be the one pulling the strings, but the little hints Ariadne gave Apollo at that house party six weeks ago weren’t enough. She knew this was coming and she didn’t warn us.
That makes her the enemy.
An enemy who’s not walking into my trap tonight. I sigh. Not that this is much of a trap exactly. It’s more that I’ve been tasked with attempting to coax her over to our side. If that’s not possible, then I suspect someone will just flat out kidnap her, but I’m the carrot in this situation.
Not that anyone knows it.
I look around, my guilt flaring for a completely different reason. I’ve been in my brother-in-law’s sex club quite a few times in the last couple months. I have no doubts that Hades is aware of it, though I’m careful to only show up when I know he and Persephone won’t be presiding over the activities.
This is the first time I’ve come alone.
It feels weird not to have Charon as my ever-present shadow. He wouldn’t have approved of tonight’s attendance, so I snuck out without telling anyone where I was going. The club manager, Hypnos, has seen me around enough now that the bouncers didn’t stop me when I walked through the door. Zir doesn’t know my arrangement with Charon, which works well enough for me. Charon initially allowed me access to the club, with one caveat: I’m only allowed to watch. I suspect that rule originates from my sister and brother-in-law, but Charon is the one enforcing it.
But Charon isn’t here right now.
The room is a true den of iniquity, all artfully designed to seduce the senses. The lights are always low when the club is open, but a cleverly hidden waterway around the edge of the room throws dizzying reflections onto the ceiling, giving the impression of us being underground. I’ve seen the furniture arranged in a dozen different ways, but tonight it’s the traditional layout, with couches and chairs and cushions situated to allow plenty of space for conversation and, well, fucking.
I inhale the scent of sex and smooth my hands down my tight minidress. My body thrums in response. It’s been…so long. There’s joy to be had in watching though, and I’ve learned a lot about the shape of desire and kink in general in the last nine months. But it’s all in theory. I haven’t participated. Truthfully, I haven’t wanted to. For a long time, I was focused on putting one foot in front of the other and not letting the pain of Orpheus’s betrayal break me.
But now?
I look around the room. I have a free night and no supervision. Maybe it’s time to turn some of my fantasies into reality. To stop thinking about healing and attempt that first step.
“I’ve seen you around
always watching, never participating.”
I jolt and turn to find a man has taken up a spot against the wall next to me. He’s a very attractive South Asian man who’s about my height with a slim build and smiling eyes. He also looks incredibly familiar, and not just because I’m sure I’ve seen him a few times during my visits here.
He holds out a hand. “Thanatos.”
Recognition clicks as I slip my hand into his. “You’re Hypnos’s brother.” Now that I say it, I see the similarities between him and zir. Same medium-brown skin tone, thick dark hair, and refined features. They also both have incredibly sensual lips. Not that I’ve noticed. Except I have.
“Guilty as charged.” Instead of shaking my hand, he raises it to press a light kiss to my knuckles. It should be cheesy, but his dark eyes invite me to indulge him.
“It’s nice to meet you.” I find myself smiling as heat stirs to life low in my stomach. It’s been so long since I’ve even wanted to indulge… No, that’s a lie. But it’s been a very long time since I’ve encountered someone who was safe to indulge with. Someone I could spend a fun night with and not worry about shattering a relationship I value in the process.
Thanatos lifts his head but doesn’t release my hand. He holds me in a light grip I could break at any moment, heat licking into his dark eyes. “It strikes me that you haven’t had a proper introduction to the delights of the club.”
He’s flirting with me. I don’t know why that surprises me so much. I suppose I’ve become so used to blending into the background that I expect it to be the default. It certainly is with Charon. The man treats me kindly, but it’s clear he’s never felt the same flicker of desire that plagues me in his presence. Not just desire. You care about him. If you weren’t so broken, you’d let yourself love him.
It might have been nine months since Orpheus took part in the events that led to the night that’s caused scars on my soul, but I’m nowhere near ready enough to jump into a relationship again. Even if Charon was interested, which he’s never given any indication that he is. But if he was, it wouldn’t be casual. He doesn’t do casual any more than I do.
Thanatos isn’t asking for my heart. He’s not asking for anything at all right now. I take a slow breath, inhaling the evocative scent of his cologne. He’s still holding my hand. I find myself smiling. “By all means. Introduce me.”
His grin is bright and charming. “It would be my pleasure.”
I ignore the guilt that clings to me as he leads me to an empty couch near the wall farthest from the door. I’m not certain if it’s intentional or not, but I appreciate the sliver of privacy the location offers. There’s an unspoken rule that what goes on here isn’t shared outside these walls unless my sister and her husband wish it to be so, but that doesn’t mean I want to risk the gossip getting back to them.
They wouldn’t understand. Oh, maybe Hades would, but Persephone? Never. To her, I’m her baby sister to be protected at all costs. She never stops to think that maybe the blanket of protection she and our other sisters provide is suffocating me slowly. If she knew I was here alone, she would sweep in with all the rage
of a vengeful goddess to strike down anyone who dared look at me.
And should they touch me?
Unthinkable.
Except Thanatos is touching me now. He sits close enough that we’re pressed together and turns over my hand to trace the fine veins of my wrist with the tips of his fingers. “You’ve been here many times in the last few months.”
I lift my brows. “Have you been watching me?”
He shrugs, completely unselfconscious. “Everyone watches you, Eurydice, and not just because you’re beautiful.” His fingers trail up to the inside of my elbow. “You’re absolutely captivating.”
I’m aware that he’s trying to seduce me. He might not be the one I want if I’m being truly honest with myself, but what’s the harm in allowing myself to be seduced? He has kind eyes. Maybe what I need to get over Orpheus once and for all isn’t a great love to sweep away everything that came before. Maybe what I need is a string of kind lovers who don’t stir my heart but are more than capable of stirring my body.
Thanatos certainly is doing a good job of it. His touch isn’t anything that would be inappropriate in another public setting, but I find myself holding my breath as he continues to trace light patterns over my skin, each sending a zing of desire through me.
I relax slowly against the back of the couch and look up at him. “You’re quite captivating yourself.”
His smile takes on a self-deprecating tone. “I’m not too shabby.” His fingers trail slightly up my bicep, the backs of his knuckles brushing against my breast. He holds my gaze. “May I?”
I can’t quite catch my breath. I don’t know what he’s asking, but I want it all the same. “Yes.”
Thanatos leans in, closing the last little bit of distance between us, and kisses me. It’s a good kiss. It’s light and intentional, a test and a seduction, all wrapped into one. It makes me shift in my seat, but my heart stays unfeeling in my chest.
Perfect.
At least until Thanatos leans back and I realize we’re no longer alone. A familiar shadow has fallen over us, blocking out the low light of the rest of the club. A shadow belonging to… My heart gives a horrible thump in my chest.
Charon.
Thanatos goes still in response to my tension. He turns to follow my gaze and seems to stop breathing. “Charon.”
“Thanatos. You’re overstepping.” His voice is calm. It’s always calm. I once overheard Hades speaking with my sister, expressing concern that Charon had lost his customary humor in the last year. Persephone responded that he’d grown up a lot because of the events that continue to destabilize Olympus. I think they’re both wrong. He’s still got humor, but it’s become a dry thing that flies right over my head at times.
He doesn’t look like he’s laughing now.
In fact, he looks almost murderous.
Thanatos shifts
away from me. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize she was yours.”
“She’s not.” He doesn’t move, doesn’t take his gaze from the other man. “But she’s not for the taking.”
“My mistake.” Thanatos starts to stand. “It won’t happen again.”
I don’t make the decision to move. My hand seems to lash out all on its own and wrap around Thanatos’s wrist. “No.” He pauses, standing over me, but it’s not him I’m looking at. I hold Charon’s gaze. “I’m the only one who decides who’s going to be taking me.”
Thanatos catches my hand again and raises it to his lips. “That may be true everywhere else, but this is Hades’s club, and Charon is an extension of his will here. Sorry, love.” A brush of his lips to my skin, and then he’s gone, striding to the bar without looking back.
Actual anger licks up my spine. I turn to glare at Charon, who hasn’t moved. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing.” He sounds perfectly mild, but something dangerous flickers in his blue eyes. He sinks onto the empty seat across from me, his large body filling it. “We had an agreement. You only come here with me, and you only watch, never participate.”
He’s right, but I don’t care. “Am I a child who needs a babysitter?” I certainly feel like it most of the time. It was already bad before the situation with Orpheus, and my family has gotten so much worse since. But Charon isn’t my family. I might have allowed his babysitting because he allowed me a degree of freedom, but… “I don’t need your permission to take a lover.” I don’t know where the words come from, but once I voice them, it’s impossible to stop. “If I wanted to fuck every single person in this room, then that’s exactly what I’d do.”
He lifts his brows. “Is that what you want to do?”
The question is so mild, it threatens to take the wind right out of my sails. I fist my hands at my sides. No, of course not. I’m interested in exploring kink, but that doesn’t mean I want to throw myself off the deep end just to prove a point. And yet when I speak, it’s not to back down. “And if it is?”
Charon sits back slowly. It draws my attention to the way his suit jacket clings to his broad shoulders and how the shirt beneath leaves little to the imagination. He has the kind of body built for sin, and I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about what he might look like without his customary armor on. Not that I’ll ever admit as much. I jerk my gaze back to his face.
Anyone else might smirk to have caught me checking them out. Charon just searches my expression with that same calmness in place. For the first time, it makes me want to do something to shatter it. He’s always so damned contained. I used to find that a comfort, but lately it’s become an itch I can’t scratch.
He’s my friend. My best friend. He also inspires some of the filthiest fantasies I’ve ever allowed myself to indulge in. But when he looks at me, there’s nothing but gentleness in his blue eyes.
I need to let it go. I know what happens when I fall for someone who doesn’t feel the same way—or the same strength of attraction. I end up discarded and broken. I refuse
to go through that again, to bash myself against the wall that is someone else’s reluctance.
No, that’s not fair. I can’t blame him for this when I’m the one who’s walking around with half a heart. Charon deserves to be with someone who can be with him fully. Even if he wanted me, all I can offer him is sex that will end in heartbreak and disaster for both of us. I need to stop this and stop it now. “Charon—”
Charon shakes his head, cutting me off. “That’s not what you want.”
“Don’t tell me what I want.” I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I never talk to anyone like this—especially him. I’m the sweet one. The delicate one. The one who will shatter at a harsh word. I shove to my feet, fighting not to teeter in my heels. They’re higher than I normally wear; I dressed up for Ariadne. I’m glad she didn’t come now though, because having to explain that to Charon would be a special kind of nightmare.
Gods, I’m doing it again. Bending to him when I should be standing strong on my own. Fury at myself as much as him has me snapping words I would never otherwise speak. “Unless you plan on fucking me, get out of my way.”
I make it a grand total of four steps before a hand presses to my stomach, stopping me easily and pinning me against a hard body at my back. Charon’s body. In my heels, we’re the same height, so he has no problem speaking directly into my ear. “Fine, Eurydice. You want to have this conversation? Then we’ll have it. Right here. Right now.”
I should stop. It was never supposed to get this far. My feelings for this woman have been complicated since the first time I saw her, left sobbing and bloody on the wrong side of the River Styx, a lure Hades couldn’t resist. She was the weapon the last Zeus used, to start what could have become a war that claimed the people I care most about in this world. For that reason alone, I should have hated her.
Growing up in the lower city, you learn quickly that people from the upper city aren’t to be trusted. Their values are not our values, and the entire history of Olympus is proof that when push comes to shove, those in the lower city are the first to be offered up as collateral damage. At first glance, she was exactly like the rest of them, dressed to the nines and playing games that would get other people killed.
But all it took was one conversation for me to make my peace with the fact that no one could hate Eurydice. It’s not just that she’s beautiful, though she is. She’s tall and lean to the point of being delicate, with long wavy dark hair, big dark eyes, and smooth light-brown skin. But it’s more than that. Her beauty goes soul deep. I didn’t intend to set myself up as her personal protector, as her confidant, as her…friend. It just happened. I value her friendship.
How I’m touching her right now is not friendly in the least.
Even as I tell myself to let her go, to step back and put the careful distance between us that I always maintain, I…don’t. I can’t when her words are ricocheting around inside my skull.
Unless you plan on fucking me, get out of my way.
I haven’t stopped to think from the moment I got the text from Hypnos informing me that Eurydice had arrived at the club without me—a clear violation of our agreement. Even as I came down here, taking the route through the big house owned by Hades and Persephone, I had half convinced myself that she just wandered in out of curiosity. She’s a curious woman, and if she’s been more tentative expressing it in the past, it was a good thing that she was taking this step on her own without me as her security blanket. Even if I like being that security blanket.
Then I saw her with Thanatos.
Saw him kiss her. Saw him stroke her breast with the backs of his fingers. Saw the intention written in every line of their bodies.
That was my cue to turn around and leave. I might have become Eurydice’s unofficial protector, but she’s an adult, and like she said, she’s more than capable of choosing her own bedmates. When it comes to that sort of thing, Thanatos isn’t a bad candidate. He’s kind and thoughtful, and he loves to spoil his partners. He wouldn’t hurt her or scare her. He’s a solid choice to rebound from that mess with Orpheus.
I know that. But it was like some demon took over my body. I didn’t make a choice to interrupt them. Just like I didn’t make a choice to pin her against my chest like this. It just…happened.
Now is the time to retreat, to make our individual excuses and let this moment, pregnant with the possibility of changing things between us forever, go.
I don’t.
Instead, I wait for her answer.
Eurydice is so tense, she’s practically a statue in my arms. Just when reason has kicked in enough to tell me to release her, she relaxes against me. It feels so good to have her in my arms, to be holding her, that my brain actually shorts out. I can’t move. I can barely breathe. I want this and I don’t, and my shit is so twisted
up that I don’t know what I’m doing.
“We can’t do this.” Her voice is barely loud enough to be heard above the music, but I’m so attuned to her right now, I’d bet she could whisper and I’d still pick up the words.
She’s right. It’s a mistake. I care about this woman too much to fuck this up, and releasing the permanent choke hold I keep on my desire will ruin things. She’s stronger than anyone gives her credit for, but that doesn’t mean I won’t crush her by accident. I’ve been very careful to keep myself leashed.
Until now.
“That’s your choice.” I barely speak loud enough to be heard over the throbbing music. “It’s always been your choice.”
She shudders out a breath. “I care about you, Charon. I don’t want things to change, but just because we are…friends…doesn’t mean you get to tell me what to do. Even if we were more, you still don’t get to make those choices for me.”
I know she’s right, but that doesn’t stop me going tense at her words. It doesn’t stop my response from ripping free. “If we were more, you wouldn’t be trying to ride someone else’s cock without talking to me first.”
She turns, and I loosen my hold on her just enough to allow it. I don’t release her though. I don’t think I’m capable of it right now.
Eurydice stares into my eyes. Her brows draw together. “That seems to imply you wouldn’t mind me fucking other people as long as we discussed it first. ...
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