Mercy, Mercy Me

by Dr. Ronn Elmore

Genres: Religious & Inspirational

Synopsis

Unable to get over the death of his wife, psychotherapist Dwayne Gradison meets former actress and Christian Nina Jordan but finds he is unable to pursue his feelings for her, a situation that is tested by his subsequent relationship with a scandalous evangelistic performer.

Release date: May 30, 2009

Publisher: Grand Central Publishing

Print pages: 304

Sample

To Dr. Dwayne Grandison, the last forty-eight hours had felt like he was walking through a dream. An awful dream, but a dream
nonetheless; one that would, like all dreams do, end shortly. His eyes would open and real life, his own normal life, would
return. Familiar. Reassuring.


Until this very moment, Dr. Grandison was not fully aware of the magnitude of what had happened. It felt as if an earthquake
had erupted two days before, and those closest to the epicenter were still struggling to comprehend what happened long after
others drove by to gawk at the devastation. So this is what it’s like to be at the center of a scandal. Already it had propelled the unlikely TV therapist into the Christian media spotlight, then made him pay for it with the
loss of his popular television ministry and, quite possibly, his thriving Beverly Hills counseling practice. Worst of all,
it had served to cast doubt on his integrity—and even his manhood.


Dwayne entered the massive wooden double doors of the New Covenant Assembly Church, just as he had thousands of times before.
Crossing the empty foyer, past the large portrait of his late father, Bishop John Paul Grandison, he cracked the doorway that
opened to the brightly lit sanctuary and peered inside before entering. A score of reporters and a confused jumble of camera
equipment, microphones, and electrical cords had taken over the sanctuary. They were waiting for him. Clearly, this was no
dream.


How could he have gotten so caught up in this web of deceit and betrayal? Was it the price he would have to pay for the success
that had bought him fame and a high six-figure income? This success had trapped him, and his heart, between two extraordinary
women: the almighty Beverlyn Boudreaux, famed televangelist and gospel music artist, and former TV child star Nina Jordan.
His success was also helping to bring down R&B-turned-gospel recording sensation Sean Wiley, his best friend.


Recomposing himself, he considered that he had spent the bulk of his thirty-seven years working hard and steering clear of
the limelight, although in this moment he wondered if—having not followed his heart and his father into the pastorate—he hadn’t
unwittingly set in motion the drama that had now taken center stage in his life.


He proceeded down the long hall and toward the conference room, where everyone would be gathering. As Dwayne entered the room,
he could see that Sean had not yet arrived, but everyone else seemed to be in place. He was greeted by his brother, Lafayette,
who had succeeded their father as New Covenant’s pastor. The two were then discreetly pulled into the corner by Mark Mansfield,
a prominent attorney who attended the church and who not only handled Lafayette’s affairs but also had a thriving corporate
practice in Century City.


His heart pounded as Mansfield began to speak, but he couldn’t seem to concentrate on any more than the commotion surrounding
him. Just three days before, he had been on a fast track to national fame and untold fortune—then to have a scandal painting
him to the world as a promiscuous homosexual, thanks to rumors planted by his archrival who had patiently plotted Dwayne’s
demise. It all seemed so unreal.


“Are you okay?”

Dwayne’s hands trembled as he looked up at Lafayette, who had circled the room and now returned to stand squarely in front
of him. Lafayette’s eyes, too, had dark circles under them, revealing how little sleep he’d had since the scandal broke.


“You can handle this. You’ve done nothing wrong. You’ve got to hold on, little brother.”

As the brothers embraced, Dwayne searched the room once again. Still no sign of Sean. The press conference had been Sean’s
idea. It had been set for noon. It was now eleven-forty-five.


“Has anybody spoken to Sean?”

“No.” Lafayette paused. “Look, man, I know things have been pretty crazy for you since Yvette’s death, and now this; but you
gotta believe me …”


Lafayette fell silent as they both turned to see Sean Wiley and his entourage arriving. There was his publicist, a bodyguard,
a stylishly dressed Sean, and a man whom Dwayne surmised to be a physician at his side. Sean acknowledged Dwayne with a calm,
determined look that allayed his fears, at least momentarily. In the years he had come to be Sean’s best friend, Dwayne had
come to trust his judgment.


Still, in that moment, he could only think of all the time Sean had spent building and then safeguarding his image. This scandal,
which had been covered by every major media outlet, had hit hard. What would the former R&B-superstar-turned-gospel-superstar
have to say?


As what seemed to be a sea of broadcast reporters trained their cameras and microphones on the podium and Sean, Dwayne scanned
the print journalists just as they poised their pens and pads in unison. None of them really knew his best friend’s story
or the truth behind what had brought the two of them to this moment.


In just two short years, Dwayne Grandison had seen both his and Sean’s lives turned inside out. The seeds of this catastrophe
had been planted long ago by Dwayne’s wife, Yvette.


As the news conference prepared to get under way, Dwayne’s thoughts flashed back in time. How ironic, he thought. The conference
was being held in the very room in which he and Yvette had formally announced their intentions to wed nearly two decades before.


Yvette English had been Dwayne’s childhood sweetheart. The two had grown up together at New Covenant Assembly, the church
pastored and founded by Dwayne’s father, Bishop John Paul Grandison, and everyone had always taken for granted that the two
attractive, exceptional young people would eventually marry each other.


An only child, Yvette had thrived in a family prominent not only in the church but also in the community, her father a judge
and her mother a church socialite who’d never had to work a day in her life. Yvette, the primary object of their affection,
was a beautiful child who had grown into a compassionate, intelligent woman, with anxious brown eyes, slim build, and supermodel
looks and style. Though she often played down her good looks, set off by curly red shoulder-length hair that perfectly framed
her red-bone complexion and striking facial features, it was her flair for high fashion—her penchant for couture designs and
trendy high-heeled footwear—that set her eye-turning style.


Dwayne, the unexpected child of his parents’ middle age, was the pride and joy of the Grandison family, including his older
brother, Lafayette. Spiritually mature at an early age, compassionate, and extremely bright, Dwayne seemed to excel at everything.
He loved people and idolized his father, wanting nothing more than to follow in his footsteps. Upon discovering his gifts
in counseling, he graduated from college with a B.A. in theology, before going on to attain a Ph.D. in psychology, with the
hopes of joining his father in the ministry, counseling people.


Yvette, however, had something different in mind. She pushed Dwayne toward success—more particularly the outward signs of
it. Though Yvette was kindhearted and considerate, prestige, material gain, and notoriety were priorities to her. Yvette’s
determination was surpassed only by her father’s. Judge English wanted his only child to go to Yale, and that was where she
went, convincing Dwayne to enroll there as well.


It was during his college years that Dwayne’s dreams began to fuse with Yvette’s objectives. It was her idea for him to go
into clinical psychology. He’d protested at first, but Yvette had been persuasive.


“Think of how many people you could help to know the Lord and make a big difference in their lives in the process by being
a psychologist, and you would be a great psychologist. Besides, your father and brother are helping everyone at New Covenant,
but who’s there to help the ones who may be lost forever without guidance? Take, for example, people in the entertainment
industry. They have spiritual needs. You could build a practice in Hollywood helping people face the challenges that they
have to overcome daily. And you can help them find the Lord at the same time. Changing them might also affect the negative
images that shape our society, since they’re so instrumental in the transmission of the morals that determine what is and
is not acceptable.”


Owing to Yvette’s ambitions and savvy, as well as her skillful administration of his career, Dwayne had become the most prominent
psychologist of the black celebrity crowd, with a thriving practice in Beverly Hills and a client roster that read like a
Who’s Hot in Hollywood. Many of the entertainment industry’s elite were quick to boast that Dr. Dwayne was the reason they’d gotten through some
pretty dark days and out of some pretty tight spots.


If the outward trappings of success were any indication, Dwayne had stepped into his calling well. But though he and his pretty
and stylish wife were part of the A-list in Southern California’s African American community, with every material possession
he’d ever wanted, he’d remained unfulfilled. Though deeply committed to his clients, he was indifferent to the fame and fortune
that were so compelling to Yvette, often becoming bored with his practice and the ambitious plans Yvette had designed.


What had started out as a starry-eyed, heartfelt, optimistic kind of youthful love was, it seemed, disintegrating as more
and more they found themselves at odds with each other in such critical areas as goals and priorities, not to mention money
and status. As time went on, they seemed to become each other’s worst enemy.


The growing tension between them was exacerbated by the mention of children. “Why are you so focused on children?” Yvette
would exclaim in exasperation. “There will be plenty of time for children.” Then in her classic manner, she’d walk toward
him and put her arms around his neck—an attempt to defuse the tension that over time seemed to have become permanent. “Trust
me,” she said.


But, at least in his sight, she had done little to warrant his trust, and while she bitterly denied it, he was sure she’d
had an affair with one of his clients. It had been the basis of many of their numerous fights. Fights that had grown more
frequent and caustic. Not that he hadn’t had his own flirtations, though he had never acted on them.


Early on, Dwayne fought back with stubbornness, then his own verbal counterattacks, until he settled into conscious indifference
and detachment, resigning himself to the notion that his wife was spoiled, selfish, controlling, and an all-round status seeker.
Confrontational and calculating, she accused him of lacking ambition and often wrote him off as too passive.


“You’re not going to turn me into some hat-wearing church lady like your mother,” she had once told him.

Truth was, she liked his mom and his family and she couldn’t see why he thought of her as selfish. So she wanted nice things.
Shouldn’t Christians have nice things? Shouldn’t they aspire to set a new standard? Where did it read in the Bible that you
have to sit back and wait for things to come your way? After all, doesn’t God bless the child who’s got his own?


Sometimes privately, Dwayne wondered if maybe she was right and he was guilty of missing opportunities in her pursuit of a
wealthier life. Those nagging thoughts were about as constant as Yvette’s never-ceasing flights of fancy.


“You stay out of my way and I’ll stay out of yours” was the resolve the two came to adopt, and so, eighteen months before,
disgusted with himself and the way he had gotten caught up in trying to please Yvette without being true to himself and the
calling on his life, Dwayne announced his intentions to go into pastoral ministry.


Yvette wouldn’t hear of it, vowing to take everything in divorce. Once she’d made that vow, he realized his life had begun
to unravel. While Yvette eventually calmed, her outburst left painful scars that even he had been helpless to heal. He had
long feared his marriage might be in trouble. And he’d been right. He’d never gotten over the most surprising reversal in
their marriage, on an issue he thought they’d agreed upon: having children.


He’d never been able to determine the source of dissension in his marriage, especially when it came to children. When they
were teenagers, he and Yvette often talked of the children they would have. Even when they first married, their plans were
to wait no more than a year or two. But as his practice thrived, Yvette’s desire for children waned, and with each passing
year Dwayne’s frustration grew. The resulting tension exploded into a final conflict that precipitated Yvette’s departure.


It all started after Yvette had dragged him to an exclusive A-list party thrown by an actress girlfriend of hers who’d been
dating Brian Granville, weekend anchor for CNN West Coast. After two drinks, Yvette was speaking pretty freely about her views
on just about everyone at the party and what she knew of their business. Then, after drink number three, things got worse:
Dwayne returned from the bathroom to find Yvette flirting with the tall, picture-perfect anchorman.


“You know, Dwayne,” Brian said, “you really should branch out with your practice. Network a little more.”

“I tell him that all the time,” Yvette said.

“Life is more than business,” Dwayne said.

Yvette jerked her head back. “Oh, not more baby talk. I am not thinking about kids right now.”

With that, Dwayne had left the party. Still seething at her putting him down, he’d gotten into his car and driven home without
her. The next morning he realized he should have handled it differently, but the night before, he knew he was about to blow
and had to get out and clear his head. He’d also realized that the distance between them had become too substantial to bridge.


Two weeks later, she packed two suitcases and was checking to see if there was anything she’d overlooked when she stopped
suddenly—as if she only then realized the gravity of the moment.


“Dwayne, I wish there was another way,” Yvette said, strapping on her Jimmy Choo sandals. The sadness in her eyes matched
the silent ache in his heart. He searched for words to say. After all, he was a doctor counseling people through all kinds
of trials and tragedies, saving lives and marriages. But he couldn’t save his own and it was tearing him apart, though he
knew all too well that they had both contributed to the demise of their marriage and he had hardly been the innocent partner.


He stood and approached his wife. As he gently pulled her close, holding her face in the palms of his hands, she closed her
eyes, a tear making its way down her cheek. It was closer than he had held her in months. In fact, sex had been infrequent
since her indiscretion—his way of communicating the disdain he sometimes felt for her.


“There is no reason for you to go,” he said. “I can leave for a couple of days.”

She opened her eyes and shook her head. “It’s better this way, Dwayne. I’ve wanted to spend some time with my parents and
it will only be for a few days. I pray you’ll see that I am right.”


Abruptly, he’d stuffed his hands into his pockets. Uncomfortable seconds of silence hung between them, and Dwayne knew that
his wife’s thoughts were not far from his. How could a marriage that seemed to have been ordained from the time they were
children—and a love still deeply felt—come to this? Yet they held on to their respective stances, even as they were being
torn apart.


It was Yvette who broke the silence. “Dwayne, we have so much we need to work out.” It was her final attempt to convince her
husband. “A child isn’t going to cure our problems.”


He pulled away and the stubborn veil that often masked his feelings was back.

“You’re right about that,” he said tersely.

Yvette’s eyes once again teared as she kissed Dwayne’s cheek. She let her lips linger on his sullen face before finally pulling
away. She reached for her suitcases, but Dwayne stopped her. “I’ll get them.” His voice sounded heavy.


She shook her head. “It’s fine. I can handle it. The car is probably here.” She turned and walked toward the elevator. Dwayne
wasn’t sure how long he had stood in that place, wanting to change the outcome of that moment, to bring back the woman he’d
fallen in love with. But she never returned. Two weeks later, she was dead from a crushed chest and lacerated liver, the victim
of a collision that had occurred, ironically enough, after she’d left the office of a doctor who had just confirmed her worst
fears: She’d been eight weeks pregnant.


Through the vertical blinds that hung from the ceiling to the floor, the city lights shone, sparkling brightly as the night’s
darkness descended upon Los Angeles. Over the past year, this had become Dwayne’s favorite time. In the darkness, he could
hide—from his family, his friends, and his clients. With practice, he had even learned to hide from himself the overwhelming
grief that mingled with his guilt and still—after almost three hundred days—flooded his mind.


The shrill of the telephone interrupted his thoughts. With Monique gone home for the day, he reached for the phone, punching
the speaker button.


“Hey, guy, I’m surprised I caught you.”

“Lafayette, what’s up, man?” Dwayne asked flatly.

“I was calling to see how you’re doing. We haven’t heard from you.”

“I’m fine.” Dwayne slumped into his chair. “You don’t have to keep checking on me …”

“I’m not checking on you,” Lafayette objected softly. “I need to talk to you about something. Do you have some time tomorrow?”

Though he already knew his calendar, Dwayne glanced at the leather book in the center of his desk. “I’ve got a full day,”
he said as his eyes washed over the Thursday appointments that were set for every hour beginning at 8:00 A.M. He hadn’t even scheduled time for lunch.


“Hmm. This is really important.” Lafayette paused. “What are you doing now? The kids have really missed their Uncle Dwayne,
and you know how Robbie and I always love to see you. Why don’t you come on by?”


Dwayne hesitated, gathering his thoughts.

“I wouldn’t be calling if this wasn’t important,” Lafayette pressed, looking for the answer he wanted. “It won’t take long
and I think you’ll like what I have to say. Or if it’s more convenient, I can come to you.”


Knowing there was no escape, Dwayne gave in. “That’s okay, I’ll come there. I’ll see you in about thirty minutes.”

He put the phone down. Seeing Lafayette, Roberta, and their four children was not something he relished. The house was always
so full of love and he felt so empty. It was hard for him to be there, thinking always what could have been had things been
different.


In a gesture of resignation, he closed his calendar and dropped it into his briefcase. He walked slowly through the massive
office and then stepped into the anteroom, decorated like a living room with the velvet scarlet plush couch and matching chairs.
Though they didn’t have much money when they’d opened this office, Yvette worked with an interior designer, insisting it was
a professional necessity.


Yvette had carefully planned every aspect of their lives. Unfortunately, there was no backup—no strategy for spending the
rest of his life alone. He ran his hand over his face, trying to wipe away the fatigue that seemed to envelop him constantly.
He stepped into the hallway and, like a robot, took the elevator down to the parking garage.


Dwayne turned his car into the long driveway and pulled behind a metallic blue Escalade. He peered for a moment at the darkened
front of the two-story, three-year-old custom-built home and then set the car into reverse. A second later the porch light
was on. Sighing, he parked his car and turned off the ignition. The front door opened before he could slam the door of his
Jaguar.


“I was about to come to you,” Lafayette said as he extended a hearty hug to his younger brother.

“Uncle Dwayne!” Nicole, the youngest of Lafayette’s children, rushed through the hall toward the front door.

Dwayne grinned and lifted the six-year-old into his arms. “How’s my favorite girl?”

Nicole giggled as Dwayne kissed her cheek and Roberta sauntered into the foyer to greet her brother-in-law. Dressed in a gray
jogging suit and white Keds, and with her long reddish-brown hair pulled into a ponytail, Robbie, as everyone fondly called
her, didn’t look much older than her fifteen-year-old son.


“Hey there. How are you making out?”

Dwayne nodded okay as he lowered Nicole to the floor and then gingerly pulled her pigtail. “Where is everybody else?”

“In their rooms watching TV, no doubt,” she said as she took Nicole’s hand and headed toward the kitchen, calling behind her,
“Dwayne, come for dinner on Sunday. We’ve been missing you.”


Dwayne settled into the full-cushioned chair and let his eyes wander around the living room as Lafayette sat facing him on
the adjacent sofa.


“So how’s it going?” Lafayette peered into his brother’s eyes. His elbows rested on his knees and his hands were folded just
below his chin, as if he were about to pray.


“Hard at work, trying to keep moving forward.” Dwayne looked up into his brother’s eyes, knowing full well that Lafayette
was scanning his face for signs of distress.


“So what’s this about?” Dwayne asked, shifting the attention to whatever was so important it couldn’t wait.

“I need your help.” Lafayette glanced over a yellow pad Dwayne hadn’t noticed until just then. “We’re expanding the counseling
ministry at New Covenant.”


Dwayne sat up straight in his seat. “And …”

“Well, I need a little of your time and a lot of your expertise. We brought a new director on staff about a year ago,” he
continued, hoping to give Dwayne the full scope of what he was planning before Dwayne would object. “You know her—Nina Jordan.”


Dwayne frowned “The name sounds familiar.”

“She grew up in church with us, though she was a few grades behind you, but you remember her from TV. You know, that series—Everyday People.”


Dwayne thought back, trying to remember. “Oh, yeah. She’s not acting anymore?”

“Don’t you remember… she was caught with drugs, lost her money? It was in the tabloids.”

“She’s in charge of your counseling ministry?”

“Well, who better than someone who’s been there—married early, divorce, drugs, fame, partying. She’s determined to use her
experience to help people avoid what she’s been through. Last year she got her master’s in psychology from Marymount and graduated
with honors. She’s worked hard to turn her life around. Remember our women’s program?”


Dwayne nodded slightly.

“Well, Nina came in, expanded the project, changed the name to Sister 2 Sister, and it’s going well.”

“What can I do?”

Lafayette handed Dwayne a thin folder before he continued. “The other day Nina brought me this proposal to beef up the men’s
program you once led. It will be called Man-to-Man, and like Sister 2 Sister, it will be a support system and provide mentoring
as well.”


Dwayne opened the folder and glanced at the first page of the proposal.

“We want to do the same for the men as we’ve done with the women—group counseling, one-on-one sessions, and mentoring. Like
Promise Keepers or Jakes’s Manpower, a strong men’s fellowship.”


“So it’s really working with the women?”

“Man, you wouldn’t believe the inroads Nina has made. Our women’s fellowship has tripled in size, and these women have gotten
serious. So many of them have turned their lives around. Nina doesn’t play, and the women seem to respect her for that. I’ve
sat in on a few of the sessions.


“Problem is, the program’s out of balance without us doing the same for the men. Since you left, our men’s ministry has stalled
and I can’t seem to find the person with the dynamics it takes to get and keep the men motivated.”


“But aren’t you overseeing that?”

“In name, yes, but in practice… Man, my hands are full. I need someone to really develop this thing hands-on. Borrowing
from Jakes and Promise Keepers, Nina’s outlined a strategy.”


“Makes sense.”

“Well, Nina’s going to need some help and I thought, who better than you?”

“Man, it sounds great and I’d love to do it, but you know how busy I am and what I just came through. I don’t know that I’m
ready for this.”


In truth, Dwayne had been looking for anything to fill his time and didn’t know why he was so hesitant. As if Lafayette was
reading his mind, the elder brother replied, “What are you talking about? For the last year, all you’ve done is work and go
home.


“Not only do we need your help,” Lafayette continued, “but I thought this would be a great way for you to get into some form
of ministry, like you’ve always wanted. You could have your practice and just give New Covenant a bit of your time. It’s the
best of both worlds.


“You could make such a difference in the lives of these men and the church. Besides, Mom was the one who suggested you. She
thinks it’s what you need and was going to make the call herself.”


With the mention of their mother, Dwayne’s eyes wandered to the silver-framed picture on the desk. Their mother, Bernice Grandison,
was standing stoically and stylishly (as was her custom) behind their father, one hand placed squarely on the shoulder of
the man who had been her husband for nearly half a century. It was the last picture ever taken of Bishop John Paul Grandison,
or Bishop, as everyone called him.


“At least give it some thought,” Lafayette persisted.

This was the opportunity he’d been seeking a year ago. It had caused dissension between him and Yvette. Suddenly, Dwayne stood,
still holding the folder i. . .