Lovin' a Virginia Bad Girl

by Racquel Williams

Genres: African American Urban

Synopsis

Have you ever experienced that good old hood love that makes your insides shiver? The three main characters in Raquel Williams’ raw Urban drama do.
Follow along as Nyesha, Kymani, and Yohan get caught up in a messy, pageturning love triangle …
Nyesha has been through hell, both physically and mentally. After being abandoned by her first love, Yohan, she turns to the streets for comfort. She gets into the drug game as a way to provide for her children, oblivious that the streets
are cruel and have no room for a trap girl. With no one to turn to, she falls for one of Richmond’s hottest dope boys. Then, Yohan pops back into the picture, determined to get back the love of his life. But first, he must prove his love.
Kymani isn’t your typical dope boy. He’s a smooth talker with a dark past and deadly intentions. Anyone who crosses him or the people he loves will definitely be dealt with. His weakness for a bad female will have him drawing for this young,
sexy, money-getting chick. However, he has his problems with a love triangle, thugs trying to kill him, and the police trying to send him away for good.
Take a ride as this couple fights to keep their love alive. Will they allow all the drama brewing around them to break up everything they’ve worked so hard to build, or will they fight to hold on to their love and their freedom?

Release date: April 26, 2022

Publisher: Urban Books

Print pages: 288

Sample

A bitch is tired of struggling by her damn self, I thought as I wiped the tears away from my eyes. I wasn’t some trifling-ass female or anything like that. I just got knocked up by the wrong nigga. See, I met my baby daddy, Yohan, at Job Corps, where we were both studying a trade. I was studying to be a Certified Nursing Assistant, and Yohan took up painting as a trade. Well, I was studying, but he was there to hustle his dime bags of weed.

It wasn’t love at first sight, or no shit like that. We met each other and then became good friends. We would hang out after classes and exchange stories about our lives. He was there because he had gotten in trouble with the law, and I was there because I had dropped out of high school. My mama was not having me laying around her house every day, so I signed up after I saw a Job Corps commercial about changing your life. I felt like the lady was talking to me. I grabbed my phone and dialed the toll-free number that flashed across the screen.

Our friendship developed into something more serious. He became my nigga, and I became his ride or die bitch. We eventually became inseparable, and soon I was going with him to his home in Boston. We were all over each other, fucking and sucking every chance that we got.

It didn’t take me long to fall for that nigga, and I thought he was really digging me. I didn’t have any reason to think he wasn’t, because he treated me like his queen and all his time was spent with me. All that sweet shit changed months after I disclosed to the nigga that I was pregnant.

“What the fuck you mean, B?” he asked in his thick Southern accent.

“You heard me. I’m pregnant. We were fucking almost every day without using protection. Remember?” I asked in an annoyed tone.

“Man, don’t you know I’m trying to go to college and shit? I just ain’t ready for no baby. Shit, I still got my life to live,” he yelled in a high-pitched tone.

“Are you fucking serious right now? I have college also. I mean, I’m the one carrying the baby, not your ass,” I lashed out as tears welled up in my eyes.

“Man, I’on’t mean to sound mean or anything. I love you, boo, but look where the fuck we at. Job Corps. We ain’t got shit, so how we gon’ take care of a baby?”

“You know what? Your ass should’ve thought about that before you busted all up in me. I didn’t plan for a baby either, but I’m pregnant. To be honest, I begged you to use protection, but you insisted not to. The difference is, I’m gonna do what the fuck I need to do to take care of my child. I suggest you man the fuck up and stop whining like a little-ass bitch,” I spat angrily with hurt in my heart.

I was shocked that my nigga, my rider, was talking to me like that. I mean, what the fuck did he think would happen if we were fucking around without protection? We were both careless, and this is what happened. We were having a fucking baby.

I looked at him, searching his face for an ounce of care, but I saw none. His big brown eyes that first drew me in to him showed nothing but coldness. I looked at him, shook my head, and walked off.

I walked in my dorm room, jumped in my bed, and started crying. It was like my heart was minced into tiny pieces.

“You all right, babe?” my roommate, Nerissa, asked me.

“No, I’m not. I just told Yohan that I’m pregnant, and his ass acted like he didn’t give a fuck. He didn’t want my damn baby,” I cried.

“What? Are you serious? I thought you all were so in love.”

“Hmmmm. I thought so too, but I guess not.”

“Listen, girl. You’re strong, and you can work to take care of your baby. My mama did it with ten of us, and we ain’t have no daddy. Dry them tears and quit stressing yourself. Your baby needs you.” She sat on my bed and hugged me.

I laid my head on her shoulder and cried. I’d never felt that broken before. I couldn’t believe the way he’d reacted. It wasn’t like I was just a bitch he was fucking. I was his woman, but that was how he treated me. I got myself together and eventually stopped crying.

“Girl, you’re gonna be fine. Just pray to God and put your best foot forward. You’re done with your program anyway. You know they give you a check when you leave. Just use that to get on your feet.”

“Thanks, girl. You’ve been my rock.”

“That’s what friends are for. We gonna keep in touch when we leave here. Anyway, let me go hit the exercising room up.” She grabbed her book bag and left the room.

I buried my head in the pillow and poured my soul out on the white pillowcase. I wanted to be strong for me and my baby, but I was feeling helpless. I was crying like we’d just broken up, but it was worse than that. I was carrying that nigga’s child. A child that he didn’t want.

I was all packed and ready to go. I had received my Certified Nursing Assistant license. I was awarded a scholarship to a two-year college, paid in full by Job Corps, but I was pregnant, and going to college was the last thing on my mind. I needed to get a job ASAP so I could take care of me and my unborn child. So, I gave up a two-year scholarship from Job Corps.

I grabbed my bags and hugged my roommate before walking out of the place that I’d called home for the last ten months. Tears filled my eyes, but I used every ounce of strength in me to hold them in. I was ready to go, even though I wasn’t looking forward to where I was going.

I got in the bus that was transporting me to the closest Greyhound station. I kept looking out of the window to see if the love of my life would be walking in front of the bus. I mean, after all, he knew that I was leaving, because I had sent him a note the night before. All of my hopes quickly diminished when the bus pulled off the property and into the street. I hung my head down and allowed the tears to silently roll down my face.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I didn’t realize that we had reached the stop.

“Ma’am, we’re here,” I heard a voice yell out.

“Uh, oh, I’m sorry. Let me get my things.” I jumped out of the seat and grabbed my purse along with my bags. I got off the bus and walked into the Greyhound bus station in Worcester.

“Can I get a one-way ticket to New York City, please?” I handed the clerk the money. She gave me my ticket and walked away from the counter.

I sat in the chair as I waited for my bus to pull up. My heart was heavy, and I felt like it was the end of the world for me. I wondered how things were going to turn out. For one, I did not call my mother to let her know I was coming back home. I also didn’t tell her that I was pregnant. As much as I hated the fact that I had to face her, I didn’t have much of a choice. I had nowhere to go, and no one else to turn to.

The ride to New York was a gruesome one. I was hungry, and my stomach was hurting. I was so caught up in my hurt that I forgot I hadn’t had anything to eat since yesterday. However, my heart was hurting, and being hungry was the last thing on my mind. During the entire ride, I was playing different scenarios in my head about how I was going to break the news to Mama. I leaned my head on the windowsill and allowed my mind to wander.

Four hours later, the bus pulled up at Times Square, and I got off. I was happy that I was home, because I was a die-hard New Yorker. However, the occasion wasn’t a happy one. I walked to the subway and jumped on the train to the Bronx.

The taxi that picked me up at 241st and Wakefield Avenue pulled up at my gate. I opened the door and took two steps inside. My legs were trembling as I walked up the stairs and then in the house.

I quickly walked past Mama’s room and into mine. I closed my door and dropped my bags. I sat on the bed and nervously waited for Mama to come knocking on my door.

A few minutes went by, and there still was no knock. I was relieved that I would be left alone for a few more minutes, so I could get my thoughts under control. I took a shower and went to the kitchen to make myself a cup of hot chocolate. I realized that Mama wasn’t home. That was when it hit me that it was after 7 p.m. and she worked the night shift at the hospital.

Good, I thought as I walked back in my room. It felt good to be home in my own bed, watching my TV. That didn’t last long, though, because I was tired and didn’t feel too good. Even though I was in the early stages of my pregnancy, it was already taking a toll on my body and mind. I had no idea what I had gotten myself into.

“Nyesha! Nyesha!” I heard a voice yelling my name.

Before I could wake up fully, I saw Mama busting in my room. I knew it was early because Good Morning America was on at the time.

“Yes, Mama. Why are you yelling? It’s early as hell,” I said in an annoyed tone.

“Why am I yelling? You are in my house without telling me you were coming, so that’s why I’m yelling,” she said at the top of her lungs.

“You don’t have to yell—and I live here, so I didn’t think I had to call you to let you know I was coming home.”

“I’m not gonna sit here and argue with you. The last time I checked, you live at Job Corps.”

“Well, I left Job Corps, and I’m not going back.”

“What you mean you left? Didn’t you just call me a few weeks ago and tell me that you got some kind of scholarship to go to some college out in Boston? What happened to that? I knew yo’ ass was lying.”

Tears welled up in my eyes as emotions gathered up in my heart. I’d been through enough, and I wished she wasn’t coming at me with all those questions and accusations. All I really needed now was some kind of support, or a few kind words, you know?

“I wasn’t lying, Mama. I . . . I’m pregnant,” I stuttered while trembling with fear.

Her dark complexion turned dark purple, and her eyes widened. She took several steps toward me, looking at me like I was a two-headed animal standing in front of her.

“What the fuck did yo’ ass just say? You pregnant? I know I didn’t hear your dumb ass correctly.”

“Yes, Mama, you heard me right. I’m pregnant, and I’m not going back to Job Corps. I’m going to work, and I’m going to take care of my baby.” I instantly grew some balls. I was prepared for whatever action came after.

“Hmmmm. I always thought you was the one with some sense, but I see you’re as dumb as yo’ sister,” she lashed out.

I was getting furious, and I wasn’t going to sit there and listen to her degrade me. I remembered when my older sister got pregnant and Mama found out. She put her out in the rain one Friday evening. My sister had nowhere to go because her baby daddy was trifling and wasn’t in the picture. I’d never forget the tears rolling down my sister’s face as she pleaded with her. Mama didn’t give a damn, though. Instead, she said that my sister was grown, and two grown bitches can’t live under the same roof.

I stood up from the bed because it was getting hostile in there, and I didn’t know where the argument was heading.

“So, where is this baby daddy at?”

“He’s in Boston.”

“So, not only did your dumb ass go and get knocked up, but you got pregnant for a man that’s not even around. Who you think’s gonna help you take care of this little bastard? I done raised mine, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to be taking care of someone’s children. Matter of fact, you’re only here temporarily. Ain’t no space for no baby up in here.”

“I’m going to get a job so I can get my own place. I promise I’ll be out before my baby is born.”

“Uh huh, ’cause you know I ain’t with that shit. You grown now, so put on your big girl panties and get out of my shit,” she said before she stomped out of my room, slamming the door behind her.

I sat back down on the bed, giving myself a few minutes to register everything that had just happened. Tears rolled down my face. I never understood why Mama was always so cold toward us. Don’t get me wrong, we never wanted for anything when we were growing up, and she always made sure we were taken care of. But she’d never hugged us or shown us any kind of love. To be honest, we needed to hear that more than all of the material things that she provided. I felt in my heart that was the main reason why I kept looking for love in all the wrong places.

I needed someone to talk to. I wanted to call Yohan, but I was angry at him also. He was supposed to be there for me, but instead, he was acting like an asshole and there I was, going through a pregnancy by myself.

I knew that crying wasn’t going to help me, so I dried my tears and pulled up Google on my laptop. I was looking for any job that was hiring. I was desperate and didn’t give a fuck if I had to clean toilets to make a dollar.

Three days later, I got a call to get interviewed for a job in Yonkers. It was a little distance, but I needed it and didn’t mind taking the bus. I got dressed, ate a few crackers, and drank a cup of hot chocolate.

I’d been working non-stop since I got the job at a nursing home in Yonkers. I had gotten myself a one-bedroom apartment in the Bronx and moved out of Mama’s house. It was sad as hell, because while I was still there, she barely spoke to me. I would work long hours, come in, and go straight to my room. Many days I was feeling sick, and I had no one to turn to or talk to about how I was feeling.

I was really looking forward to the birth of my first child. A few weeks earlier, I had learned that I was having a girl. I was overly excited, because now I had someone to love and care about. Someone that would love me unconditionally. I got a two-thousand-dollar check from Job Corps, and I started buying her pretty clothes. I couldn’t wait for her to be born so I could spoil her behind.

I was lying in bed one night, catching an episode of Law and Order, when I heard my phone ringing. I hoped it wasn’t my damn job because I was too tired and was not doing any overtime that day. I ignored the first couple of rings, but then the phone continued to ring. I rolled over, snatched it off the dresser, and answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello.”

“Hey, babe,” a voice that I knew so well echoed in my ear.

I removed the phone from my ear and looked at the number. It was an 804 area code. I didn’t know anyone with that area code.

“Hello,” I said, and it was obvious from my tone I didn’t know who I was talking to.

“Aye, bae, it’s me. Yohan.”

It took me a few seconds to register what that nigga was saying to me. It had been seven months since I’d last seen him, and he had the audacity to call me. Was he fucking serious?

“Listen, I don’t give a fuck about what you got to say. You didn’t have shit to say to me before I left Job Corps, and it’s seven damn months later. Do you think I want to hear some shit you got to say? For real, nigga, fuck you and the bitch that made you.” I lashed out, not giving a fuck about anything.

“Babe, I know you mad at me and shit. I swear to you, I’ve been thinking about you, about us and our baby, and I want to be there for y’all. I admit I fucked up because I didn’t know how to deal with you being pregnant. I was scared.”

“So, your bitch ass ain’t scared no more?”

“Come on with all that disrespectful shit, boo. I know I hurt you, but I’m trying to man up and right my wrongs with you.”

“Nigga, you must think I’m a weak bitch. Where the fuck was you when I needed you? When I was alone, crying and shit?”

“Man, I’m sorry, babe. I had to leave Boston and shit. Now I’m out here in VA. I’m going to college and shit, but I’m grinding so I can take care of you and our baby.”

“Fuck you, boy. You in college? While I had to fucking give up my dream to work and provide for my child? Fuck you, I swear.” I hung the phone up in his ear and then turned it off.

I couldn’t believe that I was busting my ass, working twelve-hour shifts when my stomach, back, and feet hurt, while my baby daddy was enrolled in college and living the free life. I threw the cup that I had in my hand into the wall.

“Damn you! How could you do me like this? You’re getting a fucking education while I’m here carrying your child?” I cried out, louder and louder.

Pain ripped through my body as I lay down in the fetal position. Loneliness and hurt were only two of the emotions that I was going through. I swear, a year ago, my future was bright as hell, and I had everything going for me. That was until I fell for that nigga. Now, there I was, being a statistic, another baby mama knocked up, with a no-good-ass baby daddy. Now Mama was disappointed in me, and I couldn’t say I blamed her. I was disappointed in myself.

My delivery date was steadily approaching, and I was too excited. I couldn’t wait until I was able to see my baby girl’s face. In another month, I would be able to do just that. A lot had been going on between her father and me. I tried my best to ignore him, but he was persistent and was not giving up. We started talking on the phone regularly, which ended up with us being on the phone late nights whenever I wasn’t at work. At first, I thought he was still on his bullshit, but as time went by, I could hear the sincerity in his voice. I also believed him when he told me that he wanted to marry me. I knew we were young and still had a long way to go, but he was the love of my life, and if there was anyone that I wanted to say “I do” to, it would be him.

I dialed Yohan’s phone, because I’d been missing him all day and wanted to talk to him.

“Hello,” a female voice answered.

I was taken aback. Who was the bitch answering his phone?

“Who is this?”

“This is Kerry. Yohan’s other baby mama. No worries. I know all about you.”

The room started spinning, and it seemed like all of the oxygen had been sucked from my body. I swallowed hard.

“His other baby mother? Bitch, if you don’t quit playing and put my nigga on the phone, I will come through this phone and rip your fucking head off,” I said as I gasped for air.

“Ha, ha. You one funny ho. Where do you think he lives? He lives with me and my mama, and I’m eight weeks pregnant by him.”

“Listen to me, you stupid little bitch. I don’t give a damn about him fucking you. Like you said, you know about me. That means you already know that I’m the one that nigga loves, and trust me, if I have anything to do with it, he won’t be in that unborn bastard’s life. Now, go find you another bitch to play wit. . .