Love Blooms

Book 2: Hope & Love

by Jamie Pope

Genres: Contemporary Romance

Synopsis

When mistakes haunt your every choice, how do you find the courage to follow your own heart?

An unstable childhood and a bad marriage have left Nova unable to trust anyone - especially herself. She'd do anything for her young son but feels she'll never be a good enough mother. She's got major talent as a stylist and makeup artist, but big-time success would mean leaving the safety of Martha's Vineyard and the only family she has left. Still, she needs to kick-start her life in a new direction. The last thing she needs is her childhood frenemy, Tanner Brennan, confusing her even more.

An ex-Army Ranger, Tanner was looking for peace and routine when he came back home to Martha's Vineyard. Scrapping with Nova reminds him of the hopeful boy he was, before secrets and guilt closed him off. But there's no way he can fight her raw vulnerability-or his longing to become part of her life. And as their all-too-fragile bond is threatened in ways they never expected, he and Nova have only one chance to finally come to terms with the past - and find the future in each other.

Release date: July 25, 2017

Publisher: Kensington Books

Print pages: 320

Sample

Nova Reed held her breath as she stood outside the door of the shitty one-bedroom apartment that she and her mother had been calling home for the last month. She had been there at least five minutes trying to decide if she wanted to get out of the cold more than she wanted to run away.

This place was the fourth place they had called home that year.

Home.

The word had very little meaning for her now.

They had lived in a hundred different places in her seventeen years. Never staying in one area long enough for Nova to feel comfortable, or for her to find friends, or be normal. She used to wish that they would find that one magical place where they could stay and put down roots. That place they would never again have to sneak out from in the middle of the night, dodging some pissed-off landlord looking for back rent.

But Nova gave up that hope long ago.

When your mama is a raging drunk, you learn from an early age to stop hoping. It was easier than being disappointed all the time.

Nova shivered, still rooted to the spot in front of the door. The cold had seeped through her sweatshirt and hit her bones, and even as her fingers went numb she wondered if the momentary warmth she would feel would be worth the rest of it. Worth what she would inevitably go through with her mother as soon as she stepped inside. But what other choice did she have?

She had stayed out as long as she could, working a four-hour shift at the diner after school today and a two-hour shift before. She wanted to work more but they wouldn’t let her. She was still a minor, and it was a school night. So she had gone to the library after work, staying until it closed at nine. And then when there was no place else to go, no other excuses to make, she walked home. In the dark. As slowly as possible.

Mama had been chaos lately. Sick, sad chaos. It was either alcohol-fueled rages, or booze-soaked stupors. No in-between. No peace.

That’s all she wanted. To sleep. Just one night of quiet, uninterrupted rest. She had a big test tomorrow. Her guidance counselor told her that if she kept up her grades he could help her get a scholarship to college. She wasn’t naturally smart. School didn’t come easy for her, but she was a hard worker. She put in the time.

College was her only way out of the shit hole that was her life. It was the only way her mother would let her go. In one of her rare clear moments Mama had been excited about the idea. She wanted Nova to have a fancy job. Something professional, like a lawyer or an engineer. They talked about her living in a dorm with girls her own age. Maybe she would meet a nice boy who was majoring in something like finance or prelaw and they would get married and buy one of the big old fancy white houses. They could put their kids in private school, and go to soccer games and go on boating trips. Mama had encouraged her to get there. Nova tried not to feel guilty for wanting to leave her mother so badly. But getting out was the only way she could help her. Maybe get her into one of those costly treatment programs.

She unlocked the door and walked into the dimly lit space. The smell of cigarettes and alcohol-scented sweat nearly knocked her backward. And if the smell didn’t make her fall, the pile of gin bottles littering the floor would have.

But there were beer cans there tonight as well, and the hair on the back of Nova’s neck stood on end.

Mama didn’t drink beer.

Gin. Vodka. Moonshine when she was desperate. She must have had company today. Mama usually entertained male company when money was running low. When she didn’t have enough money to get her next fix. There was no money for her to take this time because Nova kept everything important she owned on her body. Her savings account passbook. Her weekly tips. The gold necklace her grandmother had given her. It was the one that belonged to her father. She had learned her lesson the first time Mama had rummaged through her room and cleaned out her savings to go on a three-day bender with some guy she just met.

She spotted her mother passed out on the couch. Her face and body were bloated. Her bleached-blond hair plastered to her head. Nova was relieved. No raging tonight. No anger about her squandered future. No noise at all. Just sleep.

Her mother had been beautiful once. A Southern beauty queen, with waist-length dark hair and a body that women would sell their souls to get. But something happened along the way and her beauty queen mother had transformed into a drunk that could barely stand up most days.

She looked at her mother for a long moment before she pulled the quilt her grandmother had made off the back of the couch and placed it over her mother. The stench of booze coming out of her pores was enough to knock anyone backward, but Nova stayed where she was and brushed the hair out of her mother’s face. She wondered what her brother would think if he could see her now. She hadn’t spoken to him in a few years. They had moved so much that he had lost track of them.

Wylie had escaped life with their mother. They had different fathers and his was a good man who refused to let a sick woman take his child. Even after he died he made sure Wylie was sent to live in Connecticut with a rich family, in a house that had three floors, with people who only drove cars that cost more than most people made in two years. Wylie had gone to prom. He went on vacations. He even got to go to college. And now he was a marine, off in some foreign land, doing something good with his life. Nova almost hated him for it. She loved her big brother. He was goodness personified, but most days she hated him nearly as much because he had the life she had always dreamed of.

He got to go do things, while she was chained to their mother and her illness.

Nova kissed her mother’s cheek, heavy guilt creeping up into her throat and choking her. She started to pick up the alcohol bottles and cigarette butts that littered the rooms even though she knew it wouldn’t make a damn bit of difference. The apartment would be a wreck again tomorrow. She should have just gone straight to bed. Her mother was sleeping. She could have her peaceful evening, but she didn’t just want to walk away. This was the only time she could spend with her mother. She was drunk constantly now. Not just on the weekends. Not just after work. All the time. Every waking moment. Nova couldn’t be around her then, but she could be around her when she slept.

“My baby.” Nova heard her mother’s slurred words and looked over to her. Her skin was a sickly yellow color, her eyes were bloodshot.

“Have you eaten anything today, Mama? You want me to fix you something?”

“My stomach is bothering me.” Her words were so thick Nova had a hard time understanding them.

“Would you like some water? Maybe some juice? I can run out and get you something from the gas station.”

“No, thank you, baby. You’re my good girl.” She rolled over and was out again, knocking the quilt that Nova had draped over her to the floor. Nova sighed, pushing down the large bubble of anxiety that swelled in her when she thought about her mother’s health. About how many days her mother had left on this earth if she didn’t take care of herself.

So she went into the kitchen, to toss the empties into a plastic bag. The activity would keep her mind busy. Even if she went to bed, tonight would be just as hellish as the night before. She heard the knob of the bathroom door turn. She jumped. She hadn’t realized that she and her mother weren’t alone. A man walked out. She recognized him.

Archie.

He had been hanging around the apartment a lot since they moved to this building. He was the maintenance man here, but Nova wasn’t sure what he did all day because the place was nearly inhabitable.

He was wearing just a towel around his bloated body. She hadn’t heard the shower on. There were no signs that he had cleaned himself at all. She had been home for at least ten minutes. It was almost as if he was waiting for her.

“Get your clothes and get the hell out.” She went back to cleaning, her head down, but one eye on him.

“Oh, baby girl, you’ve got a mouth on you, don’t you? But it sure is a pretty one.”

He stepped completely out of the bathroom and toward her. Their apartment was tiny. One more large step and he would be in her space. She tried not to glance back at her bedroom door. She could run. Try to barricade herself in her room, but she knew that wouldn’t work. Even if he left her alone tonight. He would be back. Her mother would always let him in if he came bearing booze. Nova needed to stand her ground with him. Let him know that she wouldn’t be pushed around. He wasn’t the first friend of Mama’s who tried something with her. Just one in a long line of many.

The last time it happened, her father had still been alive. He took her away from her mother and sent her to live in Martha’s Vineyard with his mother. It was the kindest thing he had ever done for her. But it was almost cruel, because when he died, she had to go back to Mama. When he died, the tiny bit of peaceful life she had ended and made coming back into hell just that much worse.

Archie walked closer to her, the stench of stale beer on his breath. But Nova knew he wasn’t drunk. His eyes were too clear, too calculating. “Your sweet little ass has been making me hard ever since you two moved in here,” he said into her ear. His hand settled on her behind and she slapped it away, raising her fist to punch him, but he caught it. Her heart began to slam against her chest, but she refused to panic. She refused to be a victim.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be. Your bedroom is right there. We can just go inside and have a little fun.”

“Fuck off, Archie. My mama is right there. You can’t seriously be trying something with me.”

“Your mama is a drunk. And she ain’t waking up. She might be out for the next two days with the amount of booze she threw down her throat.”

“And you were right here with her while she was doing it.”

“I was keeping her company and waiting for you. I’ve got a lot of pull around here.” He yanked her closer so that her body was pressed against his. “You treat me good and you won’t have to worry about your rent anymore.”

“We can pay our rent just fine.”

“I can also throw you out just fine. You don’t think word about your mama has not spread? She screwed so many landlords out of rent money, no one will take her around here. They’ll take you though. I’m sure everyone wants a tight little piece.” He smashed his mouth to hers and Nova shoved him as hard as she could. He stumbled backward into the stove, but that didn’t stop him. It only made him angry. He came at her again, grabbing her arm and pinning her body against the counter. The towel had slipped from his hips. His erection was pressed into her.

“No.” She was scared out of her skull, but the word came out firm and clear. “You’re not going to force me.”

“You’ll like it, you little bitch.” He grabbed her breast and squeezed it so hard, tears came to her eyes. “I’ll show you how a real man does it. It won’t hurt. With a body like this you can’t be a virgin.”

His hand moved toward her zipper and she reached behind her, her hand closing around a handle. She didn’t give herself time to think. Her hand swung out wildly and she felt the knife in her hand sink into muscle. Archie let out a horrific scream and fell to the floor. There was so much blood and a naked man squirming on the floor.

Run, something inside her told her. Get the hell away from here.

She did and she never looked back.

“Look at who showed up. I’m surprised she even bothers to come here.”

They were whispering about her again. The other mothers. As soon as she stepped her foot on the soccer fields it started. The hushed words. The critical looks. The rebel in Nova wanted to flip them off, but the mother in her thought twice about it. She wouldn’t embarrass her kid any more than she already did.

Those snobby bitches could go to hell. Nova kept her head high as she walked past them to the visitors’ side of the field.

Nova knew she wasn’t like most of the mothers on her son’s soccer team. She wasn’t the wife of a rich man, transplanted here to get away from her stressful overscheduled life in Boston or New York City or wherever the people who could afford homes in the most expensive part of the island came from. She was a single mother with a sketchy past. She lived in a tiny two-bedroom apartment over a vacant store. And unlike like them, she had to work damn hard to keep a roof over her kid’s head. She was a hairstylist and a makeup artist. She liked her lipstick red, her nails long, and her heels high because it made her feel powerful. It made her stand out in a world she often felt was going to swallow her up.

She was also a walking billboard for her services. She couldn’t go out looking any old way and she knew that tomorrow she would get at least three of those stuffy broads in her chair asking her to make them look more desirable for their boring husbands.

She didn’t care if they talked, as long as they tipped well so that she could keep socking money away for her future.

She focused on her baby boy, pushing thoughts of those unimportant people out of her mind. He was with the rest of his team, listening to his coach, looking so damn adorable in his blue and white uniform and his halo of black fluffy curls. She wanted to rush across the field and kiss the skin off his sweet round cheeks, but she stayed where she was, as far away from him as possible. She wasn’t supposed to be there at all. It was man day. A bonding time with his uncle. It was important because Teo didn’t have a father. And she knew that he desperately wanted someone to call Daddy. It was her fault he didn’t have one. Not because of anything she had done, but because she should have known long before she conceived that her husband would never be able to be a father to anyone.

But her brother, Wylie, wasn’t a bad stand-in. He and Teo went to games and practices and out to lunch and then the two would go back to his house to do whatever it was little boys and their uncles did together. Wylie had her son a lot. He took him on trips, gave him some discipline, and showed him how real men are supposed to act. And that’s why her son loved him. Teo loved him way more than he did her. The knowledge of it depressed the hell out of her. But how could she blame her son? Wylie was a war hero, a respected man in their community, and he was a nice person.

She, on the other hand, was screwed up as they came. Way too screwed up to be a mother. Sometimes she thought her son would be better off being raised by her brother, but she just couldn’t let him go. He was an accident created with the lowlife she had married when she had escaped home at seventeen. Teo probably would have had a better shot if he were raised by someone else, but Nova was too selfish to give him up. She had no idea what love was until she held him in her arms.

“Why are you all the way over here?” Her brother stomped over to her, looking every inch of the marine he was. He was annoyed with her.

But what was new?

“Hush. I don’t want him to know I’m here. I’m just watching. I’m not bothering anyone. Go away.”

“You’re bothering me,” Wylie said, his Southern accent still strong even after having moved from Alabama over fifteen years ago.

They looked as unrelated as two siblings could be. Wylie was a large man, built like a tank. He was fair skinned with hair that was golden brown and eyes almost the color of honey. She was the opposite of him in every way. The blood of her father’s family ran strong through her veins. Her hair was jet black. Her skin was brown. She was Native American. Even though her mother was white, Nova connected to her Native side more. And she had come back to this island to be with her father’s family. They were the only ones who ever protected her. This island was the only place she had felt close to happy.

But that wasn’t true anymore. Wylie had moved here when he got out of the service to be near her. She knew without a doubt that her brother would give his life for her. But that didn’t mean they got along. She was fairly certain her brother didn’t like her at all.

“Go away, jarhead.” She turned back to the game, her eyes glued to Teo. “You’re going to give me away. Can’t you go put a damper on someone else’s day?”

“If you didn’t want him to see you, you shouldn’t have come. You aren’t one of those women who blends into the crowd.”

“I don’t think she knows how,” Nova heard a deep voice say and goose bumps broke out all over her flesh. She recognized the voice of her brother’s best friend all too well. She didn’t want to remove her eyes from the spot on the field that she had fixated on, but she couldn’t help but look at the man whose deep, almost commanding, voice did something odd to her insides. Tanner Brennan was no ordinary man. He was a giant. Six foot six. Long body, wide stance, powerful shoulders. His skin was just a shade darker than sun kissed and he was beautiful. If someone wanted to create a race of perfect men, Tanner Brennan would be the man they modeled them after. He was a former Army Ranger, a war hero, and good with his hands.

He annoyed the hell out of Nova.

“Tall, dark, and dummy,” she said, passing her eyes over him. He was in a navy blue T-shirt and well-worn jeans. His arms were folded over his chest, his biceps bulging beneath the sleeves. “I’ve always heard that the freaks come out at night, but here you are in the light of day for all to see.”

His eyes narrowed as the shot hit him. She could never describe their color. Hazel didn’t seem to encompass it. They were brown with flecks of gold, but sometimes they looked green. Whatever they were Nova always had a hard time looking away from them.

“I was made this way,” he said. “Can’t help it.” His gaze travelled down her body in a slow leisurely way. “Unlike you. Red shoes, red lips, red nails. You say you don’t want to be seen but looks like you’re shouting to the world that you’re here. I think someone didn’t get enough attention when they were a kid.”

“Isn’t there a short person in need of something on a high shelf? Go bother them and disappear from my presence. It’s straining my neck to look up at you.”

“I wasn’t aware that you were a queen and could banish people.”

“I wasn’t aware that you were the king of the pains in the asses,” she snapped back.

“I—”

“Enough,” her brother barked in his most authoritative voice. “There’s a bunch of five-year-olds here and they are better behaved than the two of you. Nova, go say hi to your kid. Tanner, stop trying to get my sister charged with assault.”

He walked away from them then, heading back to the stands where most of the parents sat. They fought, she and Tanner. Every single time they say each other. She wasn’t sure why. She wanted to say that there was something disrespectful about him. He stared at her. She had been stared at by men her entire life. Men who wanted to get into her pants. Men who would use her and discard her, and she wanted to put Tanner in that category, but she couldn’t. He didn’t stare at her breasts or ass. He never made a move on her, but he still stared. Into her eyes. Every time he spoke to her, he gave her unwavering eye contact. It was disconcerting. It was like he was trying to strip away something beside her clothes every time they spoke.

Nova turned back to watch the game. Tanner came to stand by her, his body close to hers. That was another thing he did to bug her. He never gave her space, but he never stepped over the line. He never groped or grabbed her. It was a touch of the hand here and there. It was an arm brushing hers. And now it was his side, not exactly touching her but close enough that she could feel his heat radiating to her body on this cool morning. She wanted to stand closer to him. Feel his long hard body pressed against hers. It was a crazy urge considering that the thought of any man touching her in the past five years turned her stomach. But she had very different feelings in her stomach whenever she saw him and that made her really dislike Tanner. It made her dislike herself.

“Why are you here?” she asked him. He didn’t even live in town but she ran into Tanner seemingly everywhere. At the grocery store, at the post office, and family functions. He even came to her to get his hair cut once, and now he was here at her son’s soccer practice. It wasn’t the first time he had come, but it never ceased to surprise her when he did.

“You know why. Teo asked me to be here.”

“You could have told him you couldn’t make it. You’re a single man in your thirties. Surely you must have something better to do.”

“My father wasn’t around, even when I asked him to be. You think I could deny your son? Besides, I like him. His mother is a loud-mouthed, hostile pain in the ass, but the kid is damn near delightful. Cantankerousness must skip a generation.”

And there it was . . . The reason she couldn’t really hate him. Only he could manage to be so sweet and so shitty in the same breath.

“You bug the hell out of me,” she said truthfully and without heat.

“You’re no goddamn picnic yourself. But the real reason I’m here is because I like to see the daggers the other mothers throw at you.”

“Judgmental bitches. They don’t even try to get to know me. I may not have been born with a silver spoon in my mouth, but I work hard. Harder than they ever have.”

“You know it has nothing to do with your work ethic, Nova. Even you can’t be that dense. It’s how you look that has them wanting to brand you with a scarlet letter.”

“Because I’m Native?”

“You may look dumb, but Lord knows you’re not.” He sighed in frustration. “Don’t make me say it.”

“This is one of the few times I actually want to hear you talk. Speak, man, speak.”

He glared at her. “You’re walking sex. You have to know that. Your thousand glances in the mirror a day should confirm that.”

“I’m wearing jeans, a T-shirt, and a cardigan!”

“And heels. High red heels and tight jeans that make your ass phenomenal. It’s not you personally they hate. It’s the way you cause their husbands to look at you.” He turned to fully face her.

She had always had this problem, even when she was a teenager. Men looked. They always looked. And sometimes they touched, and it didn’t matter what she was wearing. She had tried to cover it all up, tried to hide her body, but it never mattered. She had waist-length black hair. She had brown skin and wide slanted eyes. She would always stand out. She might as well feel good while she was doing it. “I don’t ask for it, and if you are suggesting I am in some way inviting these men not to pay attention to their wives and look at me, you can shove it. I shouldn’t have to wear a potato sack just to make other people feel comfortable.”

He grinned, showing off his perfect teeth, before he leaned over and spoke into her ear. “You have no idea what kind of effect you have on them, do you? A man sees y. . .