Letting Misery Go

by Michelle Larks

Genres: African American; African American Christian

Synopsis

The Rev. Ruth Wilcox, head minister of a Chicago church, has just about adjusted to life on her own, years after her husband, Daniel, left her. But Daniel suddenly re-enters her life when his second wife spurns him, leaving him to care for their three sons. Ruth's got enough on her plate, what with her mother's Alzheimer's, her best friend's cancer diagnosis, her grown children's dramas. . .and a charming parishioner who's caught her eye. Also, she can't shake the feeling that something is fishy with Daniel. Still, she's long dreamed of reconciling with her first love, and his kids desperately need discipline and spiritual nurturing. In Michelle Larks' Letting Misery Go, Ruth's faith gives her the strength to face a life-altering choice.

Release date: December 1, 2011

Publisher: Urban Christian

Print pages: 400

Sample

Reverend Ruth Wilcox was in the throes of a deep sleep, tucked inside the master bedroom of her seven-room apartment. She resided in the Chatham Community, on the South Side of Chicago. She lay in the middle of a dark wood four-poster bed, wearing a sleeveless white cotton nightgown, trimmed with red eyelets. The garment was bunched over her thighs, and her left arm was tucked neatly under her head.

At five o’clock, the silver cordless telephone on the nightstand next to the bed sounded loudly. Ruth shuddered as she swam into consciousness. She turned toward the nightstand, squinted at the clock, and groped for the phone before voice mail kicked in.

“Hi, Momma,” her youngest daughter, Naomi, whispered. Naomi was conversing quietly like she was inside the room too. “Are you awake?”

“Hello, Naomi. I wasn’t awake, but I am now. Is something wrong?” Ruth asked fearfully. She clutched the telephone so tightly, her knuckles swelled and whitened.

“Well, Sarah called me late last night, to tell me some news about Daddy. I couldn’t sleep a wink and apologize for calling you so early. I want to share it with you... .” Naomi’s voice trailed off then. Wearing a peach-colored nightgown and bathrobe, with matching slippers on her feet, Naomi paced the airy bedroom of her three-bedroom town house in Edwardsville, Illinois. It was located on the outskirts of Southern Illinois University. Naomi had transferred to the Edwardsville campus following her freshman year at the Carbondale campus.

Ruth couldn’t breathe for a moment as she forced out, “Is Danny, I mean, Daniel okay? What’s wrong?”

Naomi’s voice rose conspiratorially. “Lenora has finally left Daddy,” she announced triumphantly, a smile touching her lips.

Sitting up straight, Ruth pulled the wrap scarf off her head, ran her fingers through her hair, and sighed heavily. “You don’t think this call could’ve waited until later in the day?” she asked, chiding her child.

“Momma,” Naomi replied, eyes widening, “I thought you’d want to be the first to know. Come on, you might put on a content façade for the rest of the world, but trust me, I know that you still love Daddy. I assumed the news would be the answer to your prayers,” she added smugly.

“Well, you’re wrong, Nay,” Ruth replied grumpily after stifling a yawn. “I can’t say that I’ve spent a lot of time praying for the demise of your father’s marriage. Matrimony is a holy ritual, and as a Christian, you should feel a sense of sadness when any union comes to an end. Anyway, Lenora has left your father more than a few times over the past years. Why is this time any different?” she asked intently as she lay back down in the bed.

“You must not have talked to Sarah yesterday,” Naomi remarked as she sat on the edge of the bed, pulled her robe down over her thighs, and crossed her shapely legs. “What’s different this time is that Lenora served Daddy with divorce papers the day after she left. She left him five days ago.” Her voice and eyebrows rose dramatically. “And guess what? She left the boys with Daddy. Stepmother Dearest has flown the coop, and left the chicks with the rooster. Daddy should’ve left her years ago,” Naomi stated with a snort. “I’m surprised the marriage lasted as long as it did. All I have to say is that both of them got what was coming.”

“That wasn’t a nice thing to say. I’m sure your father must be devastated. Poor Daniel.” Ruth’s heartbeat accelerated. Then she mentally berated herself. It seemed like she’d been trying to justify Daniel’s actions to his children and grandchildren since their divorce seven years ago, and even years before that. Unbeknowst to Ruth, Lenora was pregnant before the Wilcox’s divorce was finalized. Daniel married Lenora before the ink was dry on the decree, just days later. Ruth’s best friend, Alice, warned her about breaking away from old habits. Alice also reminded Ruth that her children were more than old enough to form their own opinions of their father.

“I never understood why you insist on defending him,” Naomi complained, as if reading her mother’s mind. “If the shoe was on the other foot, I doubt that he’d do the same for you,” she remarked candidly. She wasn’t shy about speaking her mind.

Ruth stifled a chuckle. “I’m not concerned about Daniel Wilcox. My focus is on being the best person that I can be. He’s still your father, though,” she said forcefully.

“You mean my grandfather,” Naomi threw in snidely. Then she felt a twinge of shame. “I’m sorry, Momma. I didn’t mean that the way it sounded.”

Seven years had elapsed since the truth of Naomi’s biological parents had been divulged. Naomi found out in the worst way that her older sister, Sarah, and Sarah’s husband, Brian, were her biological parents. To the rest of the world, the Wilcox family had maintained the status quo that Ruth and Daniel were her parents. Naomi had not taken the news well, causing Ruth and Daniel to spend a pretty penny for the services of a Christian psychologist for Naomi. Naomi was now twenty-seven years old and had adjusted well from her tumultuous teen years. Sarah was forty-three, and DJ, Ruth and Daniel’s son, was forty-one.

Lenora was not happy about Naomi’s counseling expense coming out of her household budget. Spending money for anything concerning the offspring from her husband’s first wife had been a bone of contention between the married pair.

“I know,” Ruth replied. “It’s all right. Maybe we need to do something about that. Perhaps it’s time for us to come clean to the world, or at least to the church and our immediate family and friends, about what really happened years ago. I know you said before that you weren’t ready. Have you changed your mind?” She held her breath in anticipation of Naomi’s answer.

“I don’t know. Sometimes I think I’m ready, and other times, I just want to be Daddy’s and your baby,” Naomi admitted wistfully.

Clad in pajamas, Naomi’s boyfriend, Montgomery, walked into the bedroom after he adjusted the thermostat in the living room. He eased his tall, gangly frame into bed. He lay on his back, with his hands clasped behind his head, and watched Naomi as she talked to her mother.

He admired her beautiful caramel face and curvaceous body. Naomi was at the peak of her beauty. Her legs were very shapely, and they supported her plus-size body. She was amazed at the rush of love that spurted from her heart when she beheld Montgomery’s chiseled, dimpled chin. Locks of unruly brown hair covered his forehead, along with longer hair on the sides. Montgomery’s eyes were cornflower blue, and the silver wire-framed glasses he wore, giving him a nerdy look, belied his thirty-five years of age. Those bright colored orbs endeared him to Naomi.

“Well, that’s something we can discuss the next time you come to Chicago. When do you think you’ll come home?” Ruth felt a keen longing to see her youngest daughter’s face.

Naomi wrinkled her nose and tugged at the ends of her hair, which had escaped the scarf, along the back of her neck. Naomi like her mother wore a scarf during the night, to keep her hairdo do fresh.

“Sarah wants me to come home this weekend. She thinks Daddy is incapable of taking care of the boys. She thinks we should have a family meeting to discuss what can be done to help him. Sarah stayed at Daddy’s house last night. Daddy finally broke down and told her what was going on. She says the boys are a mess. When Sarah called, she said the twins had almost been crying nonstop since Lenora left,” Naomi said.

Daniel and Lenora’s oldest son, Damon, was eight years old, and the twins would be seven years old later that year.

Ruth thought it was strange that Sarah hadn’t called her yesterday. Mother and daughter talked regularly several times a day, and now she knew the reason for the silence.

“Sarah is doing the right thing. In times like this, one must look to family for help. So I hope you’ll do all you can to help your father during his trying time,” Ruth said.

“Mom, do you have to be so sanctimonious all the time? If you were any other ex-wife, you’d be crowing how your rival is finally out of the love of your life’s life. Instead, you sound like Reverend Ruth instead of the former Mrs. Daniel Wilcox.”

Ruth’s cheeks reddened as she opened and closed her mouth. “Your father and I were over and done with a long time ago. We’ve gone our separate ways, Naomi. I know most kids, despite their age, hope their parents will get back together one day. But that won’t be the case for your father and me. That’s a reality you’ll have to face, if you’re harboring that misconception,” she told Naomi, in no uncertain terms.

Naomi shook her head, as if admonishing an unruly child. Then she replied loftily, “If thinking that helps you make it through the day, Momma, then you’re deceiving yourself.”

“Let’s continue this discussion another time,” Ruth suggested. She felt like she was on treacherous water. “It’s early, I’m tired, and I need to get up soon to wake up Alice.” She glanced at the blue LED display on her alarm clock, which illuminated the room.

“You’re right,” Naomi said contritely. She sat on the edge of the bed and appeared unsettled. Montgomery scooted behind her and began massaging her tight shoulders. “I’m sorry, Momma. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“Apology accepted, and I wasn’t trying to minimize your feelings either. We’ll talk later today. I promise. I’ll talk to Sarah and see what’s going on with Daniel and Lenora.”

“Okay, Momma. Have a good day. Tell Aunt Alice I said hello. Love you, Momma.”

“I love you too,” Ruth replied as she relaxed her body against the headboard.

The women said good-bye and hung up the phones.

Though Ruth had a matter-of-fact demeanor when she was talking to Naomi, learning that Daniel was going to be a free man caused her heart rate to accelerate. Growing up a preacher’s kid, she had always been taught that marriage was a till-death-do-us-part proposition. And when she stood at the altar at The Temple and married Daniel Wilcox, there was no doubt their marriage would be one of those long-lasting partnerships.

Still, she was old and wise enough to realize that life threw curveballs from time to time, and that life didn’t always go according to script. Ruth lay back against the pillows and felt incredulous; she couldn’t wrap her mind around the fact that Daniel and Lenora were breaking up. Her mind shied away from the possibility that the couple’s breakup would affect her life in any way.

Ruth readjusted her head wrap and stretched out her body on the bed. She pulled the sheet around her waist. Within a few minutes, she fell back asleep.

Montgomery smiled at Naomi after she lay in the bed when she hung up the phone. She snuggled close to him. “There always seems to be a high level of tension that surrounds you when you talk to your mother and other family members,” he observed. “The tension fills the room like a pumped can of air freshener.”

“Lately that’s been the case,” Naomi replied, with a faraway look in her eyes. “It wasn’t always like that. Momma has changed so much since the divorce, and after she was ordained as a minister. I remember when my siblings and, most of all, my father were the center of her life, and I ran a close second. Now all that has changed.” She shrugged her shoulders.

“You know what I think? It’s time I met your family,” Montgomery said casually. “I know that you said we needed to give our relationship time, and I think we’ve survived the test of time. We’ve been together for four years. What’s the problem? Are you ashamed of me or something?”

Naomi leaned over and hugged Montgomery. “Never that,” she said fiercely. Then she kissed him. She shifted her body and laid her head on her pillow. “The timing has just been lousy. There always seems to be some drama going on in my family.”

“I know, or at least that’s what you tell me, Naomi.” Montgomery’s deep bass voice, with his English accent, sent chills down her spine. “I love you and we’re engaged. Not having met your family in all this time bothers me.”

A chill of fear crisscrossed Naomi’s body. She looked into Montgomery’s blue eyes and put her hand on her heart. “I promise you that I’ll talk to the family. Just give me a little more time,” she said solemnly. Then she took his hand in her own. “I agree with you; I’ve been remiss in not saying anything to the family about you before now. I promise you that by my graduation, you will meet the Wilcox family, en masse, and that’s only a few months away.”

“Okay, Ms. Wilcox, you have two months to get it together.” He got out of the bed and headed to the adjoining bathroom.

Naomi watched him walk away as she gnawed on a hangnail. She wasn’t sure if her family would understand her marrying outside her race, or how her lover was more than a few years older than she was. Though Noami didn’t think the age difference significant, she knew her mother would.

Ruth had always proclaimed that God’s children came in different shades. But Naomi wasn’t sure if her mother, now in her early sixties, would accept an older white man as her daughter’s future husband. To complicate matters, Montgomery was from England, and a member of the Anglican Church. Naomi was sure her mother would be scandalized to learn that she was “shacking up” with a man, as her mother and Alice called it.

Naomi also had yet to inform her family that she planned to remain in Edwardsville to work after her graduation. They were under the impression she would be returning to Chicago, and would be employed as a CPA at a prestigious accounting firm in the downtown Chicago area. Butterflies fluttered in her stomach at the thought of telling her family what her real plans were.

Montgomery exited the bathroom, returned to the bed, and lay beside Naomi. They leaned over and turned off the lamps on their nightstands. Montgomery’s arms lay possessively around Naomi’s waist. The couple was quiet and lost in their own thoughts of the Wilcox family. Montgomery thought Naomi was ashamed of him and his race. Naomi obsessed over the family’s acceptance of Montgomery, and she also pondered Daniel’s situation. She debated going home for the weekend. Finally sleep claimed the couple. The answers to their questions would be revealed soon enough. Though Naomi had convinced herself that it didn’t matter if her family liked or accepted Montgomery, she cared deep down inside. Like most daughters who share a close bond with their mothers, Naomi craved her mother’s approval.

Several hours later, Ruth leaned to her right and laid her Bible on the nightstand. She had completed reading her morning scripture, and was finishing saying a prayer aloud.

“Thank you, God, for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me and my family. And, Lord, take care of Daniel, Lenora, and their family during this moment of crisis. I know that there isn’t any problem you can’t solve. Lord, bless the world, its leaders, and all your children here on earth. Lord, bless my church family. Amen.”

She opened her eyes and peered at the clock, noting that it was almost six-thirty in the morning. She was supposed to call Alice at seven o’clock, to ensure that her best friend was awake in time to attend a doctor’s appointment scheduled for later that morning.

Ruth was worried because Alice hadn’t been herself lately. Ruth was aware her friend’s energy level had dipped. Ruth recited scripture to stop her mind from focusing on worst-case scenarios.

Ruth’s eyes trailed across the off-white room to the deeply polished dark cherrywood armoire, which was opposite her bed. Her gaze settled on the pictures lovingly arranged atop the dresser. Early morning was “me time” for Ruth. Before she began the hustle and bustle of the day, her thoughts, as always, centered on her family.

Bishop, Ruth’s father, peered at her with an enigmatic smile. His face was enclosed by an eight-by-ten silver frame, and he was clad in a black robe, with an immaculate white ministerial collar around his neck. Bishop was the first picture that caught Ruth’s attention, as it did every morning. The twinkle in her father’s eyes caused a tear to trickle down her honey brown face.

Five years had elapsed since Ruth’s beloved brother, Ezra, had made his transition home, and Bishop followed him two years ago. She took comfort in knowing her father and brother had mended their fractured relationship. She knew they were in heaven, keeping an eye on the family.

She reached upward and rubbed a wet spot from her check. Then her brown orbs traveled to another picture, inside a five-by-seven ornate picture frame. Ezra, her beloved brother, was playing the organ at The Temple. His head was bowed, and he was enthralled in his one passion in life. Though Ruth fully realized the Lord didn’t put more on a person than they could bear, nonetheless, she wasn’t quite ready to admit to anyone how overwhelming life had become because of family and church issues.

Ruth swung her legs back into the bed. Her lips curved into a smile as she leaned back against the fluffy white pillows and took stock of her family. Her thoughts, as always, seemed to be attuned to Naomi, who was scheduled to receive a master’s degree in accounting in May. Ruth was so proud of Naomi.

She leaned across the bed, pulled open the top drawer of the nightstand, and removed Naomi’s graduation announcement. Just seeing Naomi Patrice Wilcox in the lovely script filled Ruth’s heart with happiness.

“Thank you, Father,” she whispered.

One of the best decisions Ruth had made was to hire a good Christian pediatric therapist to work with Naomi. With Dr. Brown’s help, Naomi eventually was able to find peace, despite the choices her relatives had made in the past that had affected her life so crucially.

After changing her major in college multiple times, and elongating her undergraduate college experience, Naomi eventually decided on accounting for her future career goal. Sarah and Daniel Jr., also known as DJ, often joked that Naomi was going to be a career student. It had taken Naomi three years to complete her studies for a master’s degree. During that time, Ruth continued supporting her daughter financially.

“You showed everyone,” Ruth said to herself, smiling. She could hardly wait for her baby girl to return home.

The only dark cloud hanging over Ruth’s life was the possibility of the change in the dynamics of the relationship between Naomi and Sarah. She often pondered whether it might be time for her to step back and allow the mother-daughter bond between the two women to flourish. She found herself at such odds with that theory, and prayed many a night for God to show her the way. She tried putting herself in Sarah’s footsteps. Family secrets had haunted the Wilcox and Clayton families for so long, in an adverse way.

As part of her post Daniel life, Ruth and Alice had purchased a redbrick six-flat apartment building, in need of serious rehabilitation, for a song and dance. The friends had the building gutted and rehabbed. The apartment building was located fairly close to Ruth and Daniel’s former residence, which Ruth had presented to Sarah and Brian. Ruth and Alice lived in the first-floor apartments, across the hall from each other, and rented out the second- and third-floor apartments.

“Lord, take care of and bless us all.” Ruth closed her eyes, and said, “We are just your imperfect children, trying to lead a Christian life, to make it into your kingdom. Father, be with Alice today when she goes to her doctor appointment. I wanted to go with her, but she has told me she prefers to go by herself. Take care of my best friend, no, Alice is really my sister. We just had different parents”

She glanced at the clock again; the time was a quarter to seven. She stretched her arms over her head. Then she pulled her wrap scarf off her head and ran her fingers through her close-cropped short silver-gray hair. A web of lines intersected her face, giving her character and strength. She was one of those women who became more attractive during the aging process.

When she and Alice moved into the building, they began an exercise regimen together, and Ruth had managed to keep most unwanted pounds from her body. She maintained a perfect size-sixteen figure.

Ruth folded the scarf into a triangle and placed it on the nightstand. She then opened the drawer again and laid Naomi’s graduation announcement on top of a pile of papers. She shuffled through the papers until she reached the bottom of the stack. She pulled out a Polaroid of her and Daniel from their wedding day. She traced Daniels’s face, and then dropped the picture back into the drawer. She covered it with the papers and firmly closed the drawer. The photo was the one relic of the past that Ruth kept to remind herself of happier times with the first love of her life.

She swung her legs over the side of the bed and took the cordless phone from its base. Ruth couldn’t keep her thoughts from straying to her ex-husband, and the humiliation she’d suffered when he chose to end their marriage of thirty-plus years. Daniel had been her first and only love, and he occupied a secret place in her heart that had never been relinquished to another man.

There’s an old saying, “What goes around comes around.” Daniel married a much younger woman before the ink was barely dry on his and Ruth’s divorce decree, and he was definitely a beneficiary of the other tried-and-true saying, “You reap what you sow.” From what Sarah had told Ruth over the years, Daniel and Lenora shared what could best be described as a rocky marriage.

Daniel hadn’t wanted any other children after his and Ruth’s son, DJ, was born, and he had been reluctant to adopt Naomi. Now, he was the father of three little boys, age eight and under. He had suffered a debilitating heart attack years ago, and his health hadn’t been the same since then. Hours of rehabilitation therapy had been successful to a certain point, leaving Ruth’s ex-husband a mere shell of his former outspoken and opinionated self.

Ruth shook her head, as if to clear it of the cobwebs of memories, and quickly picked up the cordless phone and punched in Alice’s telephone number.

“Hello, Ruth. How are you this morning?” Alice asked, answering her phone on the second ring, after glancing at the caller ID. She pressed a button, switched the phone to speaker mode, and clipped the phone’s earpiece to her earlobe. She then pulled and twirled the gray twists around her head and walked into the kitchen.

“I’m good. How are you feeling this morning?” Ruth answered her friend tentatively. She changed the phone to her other ear. At the thought of Alice being seriously ill, Ruth felt her heart race like a NASCAR driver.

“I’m blessed,” Alice reassured Ruth, ever mindful of her friend’s concern. “Now, Ruth, I don’t want you worrying about me. God has this situation under control. You have enough on your plate right now, dealing with Queen’s health issues.”

“Humph, that’s true. But I can always make time for you. I really wish you’d reconsider and let me go with you to your appointment today. I’m going to be a nervous wreck all day until I talk to you. I still don’t understand why you’re being so secretive,” Ruth crossly informed her friend. She absently scratched her scalp.

“You will be fine. Anyway, it’s Monday, your day to spend with Queen. I think you should go ahead with your plans and we’ll talk this evening,” Alice said firmly. She knew Ruth was grouchy because she refused to share with her the nature of her appointment.

“I don’t think it would be a major loss if I don’t visit Queen today. It’s not like she knows who I am most of the time.” It hurt Ruth to say those words. She scowled and her lips tightened.

“You’re right,” Alice shot back. “That’s why it’s important for you to go. This could be one of Queen’s good days. You and your mother have worked so long and hard to improve your relationship. So enjoy the time you have left. Tomorrow is not promised.”

Ruth swallowed hard as a feeling of uneasiness skyrocketed through her body. “You aren’t trying to tell me something, are you?”

“Of course not,” Alice answered quickly. “I only meant that Queen is getting older, and you should savor every day you have with her. Let me clarify that, I speak as a person who has lost both parents.” She tried to quell Ruth’s fears.

Ruth’s body sagged with relief. “Okay, I’ll go visit Mother today. But you and I have a dinner date, and I’m going to cook. Deal?”

“Definitely, you don’t have to cook anything fancy, though.” Alice smiled.

She checked the coffee, which was brewing, and returned to her bedroom. Alice opened the closet door and removed a turquoise-colored tunic pantsuit, which she laid on the bed. She opened her dresser drawer and took lingerie and hosiery from it, putting them on the bed too. Then she walked back to the kitchen.

“What’s new with you?” she asked Ruth as she reached into the cabinet and took a cup out of it.

“Nothing much. After I visit Mother, I’ll probably come home and work on the church budget, to prepare for the finance meeting scheduled for next Friday. Offerings are down. I know the economy has hurt a lot of people. The loss of money has impacted the church, and I’m hoping I won’t have to take a hard stance and shut down some of our outreach programs,” Ruth confessed.

“I know what you mean. When I visited my childhood church last Sunday, I noticed attendance was lighter than normal. The high gas prices don’t help. My cousin, Mark, was saying that my family’s church is facing many challenges too,” Alice said.

“He’s right. You know, I always feel like I have to be as good a leader as Bishop was, and I think I put more pressure on myself when things don’t go as I plan.” Ruth opened up to Alice about some misgivings she’d been feeling.

“I understand, but, trust me, these times would even challenge Bishop. The economy is in the toilet. Gas prices are on the rise, and we live in Cook County, which has the highest tax rate of all the counties in the United States. The only bright star is that the stock market is still stable, but how long can that last? People are losing jobs left and right. A lot of people are questioning their faith in God,” Alice pronounced.

“I know,” Ruth said glumly. “Sister Willa Mae, a mother of the church, called me last week and she was insistent the world was coming to an end, and how we’re living in times that were described in the Book of Revelation.”

“Well, that had to be an interesting conversation. What did you tell her?” Alice was sincerely curious. She poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. She glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly time for her to begin dressing for her appointment. She had been up since six o’clock. She had only asked Ruth to call her because she knew her friend wanted to help.

“I managed to soothe her nerves, but it took much longer than I anticipated it would. I told her what we are experiencing is an enormous challenge, and how Christians must rise to the task, and be more prayerful and helpful when they can. I told her that I don’t pretend to know the future, and how we must be vigilant and steadfast in leaning on our faith. I also suggested we trust in God’s unchanging hand. Eventually she calmed down. I was on the phone with her for so long that I nearly missed a counseling meeting with Miles and Lisa Dennison,” Ruth said.

“Save that thought,” Alice said. “I have got to get going. I’ll see you this evening, and don’t worry. Everything is going to work out fine.”

“I’ll try not to,” Ruth replied. “See you later.”

The women hung up, and Alice returned to her room and began dressing for her appointment, while Ruth showered and dressed. Afterward, Ruth walked into her kitchen to prepare breakfast. Before long, she was ready to depart.

Ruth was turning the key in the lock to secure the front door when she heard her telephone ring. She debated going back inside the apartment, but then she heard the answering machine activate. She walked outside to the garage . . .