As the days passed by and people were focused on rescuing their own kind and salvaging food and supplies – the crabs were gathering. No one noticed until it was too late. That is when the next stage of destruction began.
— From C is for Crabs Vs the A.Y.T.
Common sense goes a long way but not many have it.
— From I is for It’s No Fairy Tale Out There
I’d love to tell you that I woke up the next morning and that everything had been sorted out, but I don’t carry such luck. I came third in a two-person race once, and I’m not even joking. I will not tell you how I achieved that impressive goal – that’s a story for another day.
— From N is for Nightmare Farm
Then there is the no-eating-garlic pish. I fuckin’ loved garlic. I kid you not. I put it in everything. Whatever the recipe required, I doubled it. The shit tastes superb. Can’t eat it anymore. Burns the shit out of my mouth, like the hottest chilli times a billion. Why couldn’t it have just been onions, I hate those! Naw, garlic. It had to be garlic, the seasoning of the gods.
— From V is for Vampire Fae Scotland
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