Jax

Book 0: Bastard

by J.L. Perry

Genres: Romance; Contemporary Romance; Erotic & Steamy Romance

Synopsis

How do you live without the one person on this earth who was made for you? A sexy, emotional love story by the author of the #1 international bestsellers Hooker and Bastard, featuring the beloved character Jax. My name is Jaxson Albright. My friends call me Jax. I was brought up privileged, and I was supposed to follow in my father's footsteps and move into politics, but I had other plans. To my family's disgust, I'm inked, I'm pierced and I own and run a tattoo parlour in the hip suburb of Newtown, Sydney. I fit in here. I can be the man I was destined to be. But I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my saviour, Candice. My pink haired angel. We grew up in the same circle - like me, she's an outcast. I have been in love with her for as long as I can remember. I can't get her out of my head. She still owns my damn heart. If you loved the emotional journey J.L. Perry took you on in BASTARD and HOOKER, you'll lose yourself entirely in JAX. What readers are saying about J. L. Perry's writing: 'I loved it! Like seriously LOVED it! It brought every single emotion out of me. I laughed, I swooned, I fell in love and yes ... I even cried!' I Love Story Time, Amazon on BASTARD 'The book is as sexy as the cover . . . Great character development and a story that keeps unfolding page after page. Loved it!!!' Loss,strain&butterflies, Amazon on BASTARD 'Perfection is an understatement' Jelena Bosh, Goodreads on BASTARD 'BASTARD without a doubt has worked its way into my heart and onto my favorite books list . . . J.L. Perry's writing is superb' Kelly with Sugar Shack Book Blog, Goodreads on BASTARD 'I am speechless, BASTARD has a place in my heart forever.' Selena, Goodreads on BASTARD

Release date: November 27, 2016

Publisher: Hachette Australia

Print pages: 384

Sample

JAX

The past …

‘WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU’RE GOING?’ MY FATHER SNAPS AS I walk down the stairs, heading for the front door.

‘Out.’ I’m nineteen and an adult. I don’t have to tell him jackshit.

‘Not dressed like that you aren’t.’ He waves his hand up and down at me in disgust.

Here we go a-fuckin’-gain. Is this man ever going to let up? I’ve lived my entire life doing what he’s asked, and I’m tired. I can’t be the person he wants me to be anymore, I just can’t. I’m not cut out to be a politician. That shit may be running through his veins, but it sure as hell ain’t running through mine.

I scoop up my skateboard from beside the front door, tucking it under my arm. Out of the corner of my eye I see him storming towards me. I know exactly what he’s going to do, he’s done it a million times in the past, and that shit is getting old.

‘Get that fucking thing off your head!’ he screams, reaching for my baseball cap.

I manoeuvre my head to the right and then back to the left, avoiding his attempts to snatch it. There’s a murderous glare in his eyes as he tries one last time.

‘You’re an Albright, not some common thug. I won’t have my son walking the streets dressed like that.’

‘It’s just a hat. Get the fuck over it.’ I’ve never spoken to my father like that before, I’ve always managed to bite my tongue. When I reach for the doorhandle, he roughly latches onto my arm, tugging me back.

I think the fact my father’s long awaited plan is finally coming to fruition is the reason for my bad attitude. In two days, I’ll be heading to university. Of course he’s making me study politics, which is the last thing I want. I don’t know why I crave their acceptance so much, but I do. I feel trapped in a world I hate, far removed from the person I want to be. The only plus is I’ll be getting out of this godforsaken town and away from him—away from my whole family. My mother and brother aren’t much better. Sometimes I swear I’m adopted. How can we have the same blood in our veins, yet be nothing alike? Why can’t my father see I’m nothing like him, and no matter how hard he tries, I’ll never be?

I hate my life.

‘You’re an adult now, when are you going to start acting like one?’ he sneers. His fingers dig painfully into my arm.

‘One day … maybe.’ I snatch my arm away.

‘I’m not finished with you, boy.’

He may not be finished with me, but I’m sure as hell finished with him. I make a hasty retreat out the door and down the front steps. I drop my skateboard onto the concrete and place my foot on it.

‘I don’t know why I wasted my money on that damn car!’ he yells as I skate away.

When I graduated high school last year, my father asked me what type of car I’d like. All my parents’ friends were buying their kids cars, so naturally we had to keep up with the Joneses. He was persistent, so I told him I wanted a classic, something cool like a 1967 Mustang. I don’t know why he even bothered asking, because he bought me a brand new Alfa-fucking-Romeo. I don’t drive it because it’s the same type of car he has, the type made specifically for pole-stuck-up-their-arse showponies. It just screams, Look at me, I’m a pretentious dickhead. That’s not who I am. Give me my skateboard any day.

I don’t mean to sound like an ungrateful prick, but material things have never meant much to me. I’d prefer my parents’ love and affection any day. Regardless of what they believe, you can’t buy your kids’ love, or their respect. It needs to be earnt.

Without even thinking I head to the one place I don’t have to try to be someone I’m not: Candice’s house. She’s not only my Candylicious, blonde, blue-eyed bombshell, she’s my best friend, the only person on this earth who truly gets me. We’re kindred spirits. Like me, she’s a social outcast, and the daughter of a single mother.

I’ve had a secret crush on Candice since the first day we met. Keeping my hands to myself has been a constant struggle, but I’m not the commitment type. She deserves someone better than me, we’d never last. I’d rather have a life-long friend than a fleeting good time. I’d never want to lose what we have. Candice is the only one who keeps me sane in the fucked-up world I exist in. I honestly don’t know how I’m going to survive the next few years at uni without her.

‘Jesus Christ, Sophia, give it a rest. It’s only hair. It’s not the end of the world!’ I hear Candice yell after I knock on her front door. Sounds like she’s having a similar day to me. Who invented parents anyway?

‘Whoa!’ I blurt the second she appears in the doorway.

‘Great. Not you too.’ Her shoulders slump.

‘Hey. I like it,’ I say as my eyes move down the length of her long, very pink hair.

‘You do?’

‘It’s very Candylicious. Very … you.’ I smile when I see her face light up. I love seeing that look. It never gets old.

‘Come in, you dork,’ she says with a light-hearted laugh, reaching for my arm and dragging me into the foyer, ‘and stop calling me that.’

‘What, Candylicious?’ I chuckle when she playfully elbows me in the ribs. I’m the only one who’s ever gotten away with calling her by that name. I watched on in amusement when one of the preppy guys at school groped her arse and called her Candylicious: she swung around and grabbed hold of his crotch, hard. I almost pissed myself laughing when his eyes rolled back into his head as he fell to his knees in agony. She’s a top chick, just don’t mess with her.

‘Jax. Thank God you’re here.’ Sophia sighs as she rushes into the foyer. ‘Look what she’s gone and done.’ I see tears glistening in her eyes as she points to Candice’s hair. Since Sophia is a model, appearance is extremely high on her agenda. She’s constantly having work done to maintain her beauty as she ages. So much so, she could easily pass as Candice’s sister, instead of her mother.

‘I like it,’ I say, winking at Candice before looking back to Sophia.

‘Great. Of course you would,’ she cries, throwing her arms in the air in defeat. ‘I should’ve known you’d stick up for her. You always do.’

And that will never change. I’ll always have her back, just like I know she’ll always have mine.

‘It’s just hair.’

‘Fucking pink hair!’ Sophia screams before covering her face and sobbing. She’s a little on the dramatic side, but she has a good heart. She’s also a great mum. I wish my own mother was more like her.

‘I honestly don’t see what the big deal is.’

Candice shakes her head, giving me a look that has me closing my mouth and not speaking another word. When Sophia lets out a howl, I’m glad I stopped.

‘Come,’ Candice says, reaching for my hand and dragging me towards the staircase. ‘I’ll show you what the big deal is.’

‘I’m making a hair appointment for you tomorrow, young lady,’ Sophia says as Candice pulls me up the stairs.

‘Fine. Make an appointment,’ Candice replies, sarcasm lining her voice, ‘good luck getting me to go.’ Candice not only inherited her mother’s beauty, she also inherited her pig-headedness. They have a fantastic mother–daughter relationship on the whole, but when they have a disagreement—well, let’s just say, it’s explosive.

‘Where are you taking me?’ Usually we hang out in the games room, or by the pool. An image of Candice’s body in one of those tiny bikinis she wears enters my mind. Do you know how hard it is to be best friends with someone you carry a permanent boner for? Torture is the first word that springs to mind.

‘To my room,’ she replies.

‘Hell no,’ I say, tugging my hand out of hers. That’s dangerous territory. Me in Candice’s bedroom? Not happening.

‘Get over yourself. I just want to show you something. You’re delusional if you think I’m going to attack you or anything.’

When she puts her finger in her mouth and fakes a gag, I lunge for her, throwing her over my shoulder.

‘Jax, put me down!’ she squeals.

‘Not until you take that back.’

‘Take what back?’ She laughs as I run up the stairs with her.

‘That gag.’

‘Never,’ she says through her laughter.

‘Take it back,’ I demand, bringing my hand down on her arse. It only seems to make her laugh harder. When I get to the top of the landing, I slide her down my body before pinning her to the wall. ‘Take it back.’

‘Make me.’ She has that stubborn look in her eyes, and I already know I’ve lost.

Growling, I bring my face close to hers. Big mistake. We always muck around with each other, but never this up close and personal. Her intoxicating apple scent envelops me, and I can feel her sweet breath on my skin. My heart starts to race. We’re both breathless, and the moment my eyes lock with hers, something shifts between us. The mood goes from playful to serious in a millisecond.

My face involuntarily moves towards hers. I hear her breath hitch just before our lips connect. Christ, hers are just as soft and sweet as I’d imagined they’d be.

Reality hits like a bolt of lightning. What in the hell am I doing? Pushing off the wall, I take a step back.

‘Fuck. I’m sorry,’ I whisper. ‘I don’t know what came over me.’

I swear I see hurt flash through her eyes, but it’s gone as quickly as it comes. ‘Don’t be,’ she says with a shrug as she walks away, heading to her bedroom. ‘Are you coming or what?’

I pause. This is a bad idea, but I don’t want things to be weird between us. That’s the closest we’ve ever come to crossing the line. We can’t cross that line. It’s too risky. And if I walk away now, that’s exactly what it will be—weird. Sighing, I follow her. I don’t have a choice.

‘What the?’ I say the second she opens her door. Her bedroom is very pink, just like her hair. But that’s not what surprises me: it’s the huge display cabinets running the entire length of the far wall. Rows and rows of trophies line the shelves. ‘Did you do a ram-raid on a trophy factory?’

‘Very funny,’ she says, nudging my shoulder. ‘No, I won them.’

‘What? How?’ I approach the cabinet closest to me and read the inscription on one of the trophies. Fuck me. ‘You’re a beauty queen?’ I ask in amazement, swinging around to face her. How did I not know this? That’s when I spot all the sashes proudly displayed along the wall above her bed.

‘Yes,’ she says. ‘My mum wants me to enter the Miss Australia pageant, but I’m not cut out for this kind of thing, Jax. I hate it.’

‘Then why do you do it?’

‘Sophia,’ is all she says, letting out a deflated breath. I still find it weird that she calls her mother by her first name. Apparently, being called ‘Mum’ makes Sophia feel old.

‘Oh.’ I get that. My dad has been controlling my life for as long as I can remember.

‘This is why she freaked out about my hair,’ she says, gesturing around the room. ‘The Miss Australia pageant is only weeks away. This crap means everything to her. It’s what skyrocketed her modelling career, but it’s not for me, Jax.’

‘To be honest, it’s not something I ever imagined you doing.’ I’m shocked by her revelation. My Candylicious is a beauty queen. Sure, she’s got the looks for it, she’s a babe, but the Candice I know is far from that type of girl.

‘Exactly. You know me better than anyone. This is not who I am.’

She’s always so bubbly and outgoing, so I hate seeing her so deflated. I want to pull her into my arms, but I can’t—dangerous territory.

‘Did you tell Sophia?’

‘Yes. I’ve been telling her for years. I don’t know,’ she says, ‘I guess she misses her old life, so she’s trying to live vicariously through me.’

‘That’s fucked up.’

‘I know, right? Welcome to my life.’

‘You know, mine’s not much better. I wish our parents would just let us live our lives the way we want.’

‘I’ll drink to that.’

She crosses the room and my eyes follow. Her sweet apple scent lingers in the air as she breezes past me. I’m addicted to the way she smells. On any other occasion, I’d probably be checking out her arse, but our little encounter in the corridor has me spooked. When she bends over to retrieve something out of a drawer, I quickly divert my gaze to the ceiling.

‘So how long have you been doing this beauty thing?’ I ask, trying to pull my thoughts out of the gutter.

‘Since I was four,’ she replies with a roll of her eyes.

‘I can’t believe you never mentioned it.’

‘It’s not something I’m proud of.’ The sadness in her voice tears at my heart. ‘Here.’

When she passes me a shot glass, I raise it to my nose, inhaling. The strong scent of aniseed invades my senses. Sambuca. Nice.

‘Bottoms up,’ she says, holding her glass in the air. ‘Or should I say, penises up.’

My face screws up at her comment, then I look at the glass in my hand. Why did I not see that before? It has a tiny penis handle, and the words I Love Peckers written in bold letters across the front.

‘No fucking way.’ I shove the shot glass into her hand before frantically wiping my fingers down the front of my jeans to remove any trace of the pecker germs. ‘What the hell is wrong with you? I’m not drinking out of a cock cup.’

Candice throws her head back and laughs. I’m glad she finds this amusing. ‘It’s just a glass, Jax, get over it.’

‘A glass with a cock on it. Would you drink out of a vagina cup?’ I ask, smugly.

‘Um, yeah. It’s just a damn cup. The shape or design holds no significance.’

How did we go from talking about beauty queens to genitals? I rub my hands over my face. Christ, I really need to get out of her room before I do something I’m going to regret for the rest of my life.

‘It does if you’re male and it’s shaped like a cock,’ I say.

‘Fine. More for me.’ She downs her shot, quickly followed by mine. Clenching her eyes shut, she shakes her head slightly as she swallows the liquid. I grin as I watch her. She’s like no other girl I know. I think that’s the thing I love most about her. When her eyes spring open, she looks at me sceptically.

‘When did you become a homophobe?’

‘I’m not a damn homophobe. I have no problem with a guy drinking out of a cock cup, as long as it’s not me.’

When she laughs again, I swear I hear her mumble ‘pussy’ under her breath.

I’ll give her pussy.

Stalking across the room, I grab the open bottle of Sambuca off her dresser and bring it to my lips.

••••

Two hours and an empty bottle of Sambuca later, it’s safe to say we’re both drunk. We’re sprawled out on her bed, lying side by side and staring at the ceiling. Being on the bed with her is a bad idea, but the alcohol seems to have robbed me of my common sense.

‘I’m going to miss you while you’re away,’ Candice whispers, reaching for my hand. I’m gonna miss her too. My chest aches just thinking about it. ‘Oh, that reminds me, I got you a present.’ Sitting up, she leaps off the bed.

‘It’s not cock paraphernalia is it?’

‘No, you dork.’ She laughs, coming back to sit down on the edge of the mattress. ‘Here.’

I look at the parcel in her hand. ‘You shouldn’t have,’ I say, rolling onto my side and propping myself onto one elbow.

‘I wanted to. I hope you like it.’

I’ll like it just because it’s from her. When she extends her hand, I take the present before pushing myself into a sitting position.

‘Candice,’ I whisper when I see what’s inside.

‘I know you’re not studying art at uni, but one day you’ll get to fulfil your dream. In the meantime, you can keep all your sketches in there.’

A lump rises in my throat as I gaze down at the black leatherbound sketchpad. It has Jax’s Dream embossed in silver across the front, and the words Wicked Ink curved around an image of a skull and crossbones underneath. This gift signifies so much. Candice is the only one who’s ever supported me. I love her for that alone.

‘Thank you,’ I say as my eyes meet hers.

‘You will open your own tattoo parlour one day, Jaxson Albright, I know it.’ I love the conviction in her voice.

A sudden wave of sadness washes over me. ‘How am I going to survive the next few years without you?’

She sighs and looks down at her hand as she swirls a figure-eight pattern in the comforter.

‘Hey,’ I say, placing my finger under her chin and dipping my head to make eye contact with her. When I see tears pooling in her baby blues, it’s like a sucker-punch to the chest. I pull her into my arms. ‘Hey, don’t cry.’

‘You’re the bestest friend a girl could ever ask for,’ she sniffles.

‘And you’re the bestest friend a guy could ever ask for.’ Shit. Did I just utter those words? That would have to be, hands down, the unmanliest thing I’ve ever said. I hear her chuckle through her tears, and I know she’s thinking exactly what I am—I’m a pussy.

‘When am I going to see you again?’

‘There’s a spare room in my apartment in Sydney. Once I’m settled, you can come and stay some weekends.’

‘I’d like that.’

My thumb sweeps across her cheek, wiping away her tears. It kills me to see her upset. I wish I didn’t have to leave her behind.

Her eyes lock with mine, and just like in the corridor, something shifts. It’s like the universe has suddenly stopped spinning. I’m frozen. When her gaze flicks down to my mouth, and her tongue darts out to moisten her lips, my need to kiss her again is almost my undoing. I’ve gotta get out of here. I’m trying to be the good guy.

Before I get the chance to react, she leans towards me as her eyes drift shut. The moment our lips connect all my resolve vanishes. My fingers thread through her hair as I draw her closer, deepening the kiss. I’m so lost in this moment, I’m powerless to stop it.

‘Jax,’ she whispers against my mouth as she pushes me back down on the mattress. The second she straddles my lap and her sweet lips meet mine again, I know I’m a goner.

‘Candice,’ I breathe, trailing my fingers up the length of her legs, my hands coming to rest on her arse. This is my wildest dream and my worst fucking nightmare. I’ve longed for and dreaded this moment since I first laid eyes on her.

She’s my kryptonite.

I groan into her mouth when she rotates her hips over my rock-hard cock. I need to put a stop to this, but I can’t. I crave her too much.

When she abruptly pulls out of the kiss, I’m filled with mixed emotions. I’m thankful that, unlike me, she has the strength to stop this, but I’m gutted too.

She manoeuvres her body down mine, sliding her hands underneath my T-shirt as she goes. Maybe I misunderstood.

When she runs her tongue across my abdomen before raising her face and giving me a mischievous smile, I know I’ve misunderstood. Sweet Jesus, have I misunderstood.

I swear my heart skips a beat when her fingers move to the waistband of my jeans. Is this really happening? I can’t tell you how many times I’ve jacked off to the image of her lips wrapped around my cock.

She makes easy work of undoing the buttons, which is unnerving, although I’m not naive enough to think this is her first time. I know it’s not.

Candice was dating one of my brother’s loser mates when we first met. They were all hanging around by the pool, so I decided to go for a swim. It was only to piss my brother off. He and his preppy mates have always thought they were too good for me, and I get pleasure out of riling them. They were playing some pansy-arse game of water polo or something, so I ran out onto the back deck and did a mother of a bomb right in the middle of it. I hadn’t even noticed Candice sitting on the edge of the pool until I heard her sweet laugh when I broke the surface.

My brother and his mates screamed profanities at me, but I only had eyes for the pretty blonde sitting a few feet away. She was fully dressed and soaked from the splash, but surprisingly, she was smiling. It was a beautiful smile too. I’ve never been a believer in love at first sight, but, fuck me, if I didn’t fall a little in love with her in that moment. If it had been any of the other stuck-up bitches my brother hangs around with, all hell would’ve broken loose.

A few weeks later, I ended up beating the crap out of her boyfriend in our kitchen after I heard him bragging about her exceptional oral skills to my brother and his dickhead mates. Thankfully, Candice saw the light and broke up with him a week later. We’ve been inseparable ever since.

I’m pulled back into reality when her hand slides inside my boxer briefs, causing me to inhale sharply. I’m torn. I want this more than I want my next breath, but it’s what comes after that petrifies the hell out of me. I can’t lose her.

‘Holy crap,’ she whispers once she’s freed my cock. ‘I had no idea you were packing this monster in your pants. This thing should come with a warning label.’

I laugh. ‘You’re not the first person to say that,’ I reply. When her eyes slightly narrow and her grip on my cock tightens, I get the impression she doesn’t want to hear about the other girls I’ve been with. I don’t blame her.

I’m positive that’s one of the reasons I beat up her ex—because he was disrespecting her by telling his mates how well she sucks cock. And also, the thought of them together like that really messed with my head. I hadn’t even known Candice very long at that stage, but that was irrelevant; she’d already captured my heart. The day we met, when my brother and his mates moved their pansy-arse party inside, she stayed out the back. We sat on the patio and talked for hours. I’ve never clicked with anyone the way I did with her. She was like nobody I’d ever known, or am likely to know again. She ignited something in me that day, which only seemed to grow brighter the more we were together.

I take a deep breath and hold it as her lips inch towards my cock. Part of me is screaming, stop this before it goes any further! But I can’t. Maybe the alcohol coursing through my veins is affecting my rational thinking, or maybe it’s because all the blood in my head is now rushing to my cock.

The second her sweet mouth wraps around the head, every ounce of fight leaves me. ‘Candice,’ I moan as my hands grip her hair. ‘Fuck.’ My eyes roll back in my head as my hips involuntarily thrust towards her mouth. She takes me deep into her throat, palming my balls in her hand at the same time. I bet you a thousand bucks one of those trophies in her cabinet says: Blowjob Queen—Candice Crawford. If there isn’t one, there should be.

I bask in her magic mouth for a little while longer, before putting my hands under her arms and dragging her up my body. It’s not fair that I’m the one getting all the pleasure.

When her mouth crashes into mine, I flip her over, covering half of her body with my own. ‘It’s my turn.’

‘Jax,’ she whispers when my fingers trail up her inner thigh and under that sexy little denim skirt she’s wearing. I groan when she parts her legs for me, allowing me better access. I’m still unsure about this but my resolve is slipping with every second that passes.

The moment my hand runs between her legs and over the soaked fabric of her lace panties, all my indecision vanishes. I need her—more than life itself.

Sliding my hand into her underwear, my fingers glide through her heaven. I groan again when I feel how wet she is for me. ‘I need to taste you,’ I say, pulling out of the kiss and making eye contact with her.

‘Please,’ she whimpers.

‘Are you sure?’ I ask, hoping she has the sense to stop this, because I sure as hell don’t.

My hopes are dashed when she nods before uttering, ‘Yes. I’ve never been surer.’

There’s no way I can deny her.

Sitting back on my haunches, I glide her pink lace panties down her legs. She lifts her torso away from the mattress, pulling her shirt over her head, and removing her bra while she’s at it. She’s beautiful. Surely she didn’t need all those trophies to tell her that? My eyes rake over her luscious body. She takes my breath away.

I’m so fucking hard my cock aches.

She moans the moment my mouth bears down on her and her fingers clutch my hair. Christ, she tastes just as sweet as I knew she would.

It only takes me minutes to have her coming undone. I reach up and place my hand over her mouth when she screams out in pleasure. Her mother’s downstairs—I don’t fancy facing Sophia’s wrath if she finds out what we’re up to in here.

Taking my time, I kiss my way up Candice’s body until my mouth covers hers. I know the day will come when I’ll regret doing this, but right now I’m too lost in her to care. My body is nestled between her legs, and my need to be inside her is so strong.

‘Fuck me, Jax,’ she breathes as her fingers skim down my back. Did she just read my mind?

‘Candice,’ I murmur. The moment I slide the tip of my cock inside, I throw my head back and groan. She’s so tight. She feels amazing.

My mouth hungrily captures hers as I push my hips forward, filling her completely. I hear her breath hitch as her body stiffens.

‘Shit. Are you okay?’ I ask.

‘I’m perfect.’

‘Do you want me to stop?’ Please don’t say yes.

‘No. Just give me a minute. You’re hung like a horse, remember?’

I chuckle. She has no filter whatsoever. I love that about her.

Stilling, I give her body time to adjust. My mouth meets hers again, but this time my kiss is a lot softer. I stay buried inside her for the longest time, while we make out until my need to move becomes too much.

Drawing my hips back slightly, we moan in unison when I slide back in. Soon I’m moving at a steady pace, thrusting into her little slice of heaven over and over. Rocking her hips, she meets me stroke for stroke. What I’m feeling for her in this moment scares me. It’s like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

Flipping over onto my back, I bring her with me. ‘You’ve never looked more beautiful than you do right now,’ I say as she straddles my hips and sinks down onto my cock.

She rewards me with a smile. ‘I’ve never felt more beautiful.’

My fingers dig into her hips as I lift her before drawing her back down. I watch as her eyes flutter shut and her mouth parts as she sweetly moans. Lowering my gaze, I stare at her pussy tightly wrapped around my dick. It’s a perfect fit. Then my heart sinks.

‘Fuck,’ I grate out, pulling her off me in a panic.

‘What?’ she asks, confused.

‘I forgot to put a rubber on.’ I’ve never gone bareback before. ‘Shit,’ I say, looking down at my cock. Is that blood? That’s all I damn well need. ‘Fuck. Please don’t tell me you’re a virgin.’

‘Okay, I won’t,’ she whispers as she draws her legs up to her chest and wraps her arms around them.

‘You won’t what?’

‘Tell you,’ she replies, turning her face away from me.

Christ. How could that be? I never would’ve let this go so far if I’d known.

The moment I go to stand, Candice grabs for my arm. ‘Don’t go,’ she begs. ‘I’ve mucked around with guys before, but I’ve never gone all the way. It’s no big deal.’

Running my fingers through my hair in frustration, I turn to face her. ‘It’s a huge fucking deal, Candice.’

When I notice the tears pooling in her eyes I pull her to me.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

‘Because I know the type of person you are, Jax. You never would’ve gone through with it.’

She’s right, I wouldn’t have. Too late now, the damage is done.

We’re both silent for the longest time, before she finally speaks. ‘Please don’t leave me.’

I don’t reply because truthfully, I don’t know what to say. I’m not sure if she’s talking about this moment, or me going away to university. The thought of leaving her and not seeing her for God knows how long is tearing me up inside.

‘I need you, Jax,’ she says, sliding her leg over my lap and straddling me again.

My entire body comes back to life the moment she sinks down onto me.

‘I need you,’ she repeats.

When her lips meet mine again, I’m lost. I fucking need her too.

‘Wait. Let me wrap it,’ I say, pulling out of the kiss. ‘You know how I feel about having kids. I’m not cut out for shit like that. I’m not taking any chances.’

When I attempt to reach down for my jeans, she stops me. ‘I’m not ready for anything like that either, Jax. Christ, I’m only eighteen. Sophia would kill me.’

‘She’d kill me too.’

‘But I want to feel all of you. Can’t you just pull out when it’s time? It’ll be safe, right?’

My common sense screams, don’t be a fool, wrap that fucker, but my heart tells me to give Candice what she wants. My heart will always win out when it comes to her.

Holding my orgasm back, I drag this out as long as I can. I don’t want our time together to end, because I know it’ll be our last. . .