Happily Never After

by Emma Robinson

Genres: General Fiction; Women's Fiction; Romance; Contemporary Romance; Romantic Comedy

Synopsis

She closed her eyes. Think with your head. Your heart can’t be trusted. Life is not a fairytale… Single mum Rory doesn’t believe in love. She’s got far too many real problems to deal with. She’s just bought a tumbledown house. Her mother is generally behaving like a wicked witch, insisting on calling her Aurora, and generally interfering in her (admittedly pitiful lack of) love life. And her 16-year-old daughter has finally grown out of Disney princesses and discovered dating… But Rory’s adamant that she doesn’t need saving. In fact, the only thing she’s wishing on a star for is a bit of practical help. However, when she meets a builder whose name is John Prince and who seems to be in the habit of rescuing her (right down to finding her lost shoe one evening) she might have to face a truth as uncomfortable as hobbling home barefoot – that maybe there’s something enchanted in the air. Her mother, daughter and friends are convinced her prince has come, but Rory just wishes everyone could let it go. Especially when she hears a story that makes her question whether he is really the hero everyone thinks he is… A hilarious, romantic love story about mothers, daughters and how on earth to find Prince Charming, for fans of Sophie Kinsella, Marian Keyes and Cecelia Ahern. What readers are saying about Happily Never After: ‘ I absolutely loved this book… I was left laughing out loud one minute and then tears welling up… fantastically funny but also so heart-warming! It was an absolute perfect read… I was hooked from the first page.’ Stardust Book Reviews, 5 stars ‘When I started the book I was so caught up in reading that I had to finish it in just one sitting! It is simply that great… Had me laughing out loud throughout… Fast paced and hilarious… Perfect for all chick-lit, romance lovers.’ Just Read It, 5 stars. ‘I thoroughly recommend this if you’re looking for a ‘feel good’ book that will make you laugh out loud. ’ The Secret Library Book Blog ‘A wonderfully entertaining summer read.’ Novel Deelights ‘OH EM GEE. WOW! … Boy was this bloody brilliant! Very impressed. I loved every second… A must buy. A must read. You will not be disappointed at all… Outstanding. ’ Between the Pages Book Club, 5 stars ‘It was fun, entertaining, realistic, relatable, adorable, sweet, intriguing and I just plain adored it. ’ Spicy Books Lady ‘This might be a rom-com but it’s not your average rom-com… a brilliant story.’ Starcrossed Book Reviews ‘Jam-packed full of romance, real emotions, drama and family. It’s heart-warming and a delight to read.’ Katie’s Book Cave ‘ Happily Never After is a brilliant example of happiness coming in different sizes, at different times, for different reasons. Because as long as you're happy yourself, you have already found your happily ever after. Such a fab, laugh out loud, energetic, and enchanting read.’ The Writing Garnet, 5 stars ‘Absolutely recommend to fans of a sweet story with a bit of everything: friendship, family, romance, house renovations, and drama.’ Audio Killed the Bookmark ‘ Absolutely unputdownable!… I loved this book. I finished it in 24 hours. I miss the characters already!’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘ Not at all what I was expecting it to be… it was so much more. What you think to be a light hearted love story contained so many layers and depth. ‘Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars ‘ Feel good chick-lit, romantic, funny, fabulous and utterly fun. I absolutely loved this’ Goodreads reviewer ‘ A lovely romantic story…I found it hard to put down from start to finish. I loved all the characters… I highly recommend it.’ Goodreads reviewer, 5 stars

Release date: July 10, 2018

Publisher: Bookouture

Print pages: 290

Sample

Everyone knows that a single woman approaching forty needs a husband.

At least, that’s what Rory’s mother thought.

Sheila hadn’t let up since they’d arrived at the house. ‘It’s time you had someone, Aurora. Belle is growing up and…’

‘Christabel, Mother. She was named after a suffragette, not a Disney princess. That joy was all mine.’ Rory caught her daughter’s glare at the use of her full name. Get used to it kid; I’ve had thirty-eight years of that.

‘We named you after the sunrise on the day you were born, not Sleeping Beauty, as you well know.’ Sheila wasn’t about to be distracted. ‘Nevertheless, Christabel will be going off to university in two years’ time. Why do you need a house this big? And this…’ – she wrinkled her nose – ‘dusty?’

The estate agent details had alluded to the fact that the place would need some ‘cosmetic work’ and would suit someone wanting to ‘take on a project.’ But when Rory had walked in the week before, something about the light through the huge sash windows, the high ceilings and the fact that all this could belong to her and her alone, had dazzled her into making an impulsive offer. Now, seeing it through her mother’s eyes, she realised the full extent of the wreck she was standing in. The walls were flaking, there were missing floor tiles and the radiators looked as if they hadn’t had heat through them this side of the 1970s. They’d walked around the upstairs accompanied by a full range of creaks and groans from the floorboards, supported ably by her mother’s full range of tuts and sighs.

Rory was defiant, though. It was close to school, within her budget and, due to it having been empty for the last year, they would be able to move in pretty quickly. They might even be in and have started renovations before the new academic year swallowed up all her spare time. But was she mad to take on this much work?

Sheila peered around as she walked further into the sitting room. Rory was quite enjoying watching her fastidious mother try to move around without touching anything. Shame she couldn’t levitate really.

Sheila folded her arms. ‘Maybe it was this ol’ house that Shaky Steve was singing about all those years ago.’

Belle screwed up her face. ‘Shaky who, Gran?’

Rory sighed. ‘It was Shakin’ Stevens, Mum. And Belle’ – her daughter nodded approval at her preferred name – ‘he was a singer a long time before you were born.’ Rory strode ahead and turned slowly. There was something almost literary about the proportions of the place. The walls were patchy and calamine pink, but the cornice was beautiful – apart from the fact it was painted turquoise. ‘It’s got nice high ceilings. I’ve always wanted to live in a house with high ceilings. Makes me feel like Jane Austen or Charlotte Brontë.’

Sheila squinted at the ceiling as if it might fall on her. ‘Can you actually call that a ceiling, Aurora? The parts you can see beyond the cobwebs, I mean.’

‘Stop making that face, Mother. And stop calling me Aurora.’ Rory pulled at a corner of the paisley patterned carpet, bringing with it a cloud of dust. Underneath, the floorboards looked in a decent condition. The more Sheila was critical of the place, the more Rory was glad she’d made her offer on it. It was a familiar pattern.

Sheila sneezed and rummaged in her bag for a tissue, which she placed over her nose and mouth. ‘I’ll stop calling you Aurora when you stop calling me Mother.’

Belle stepped in. ‘I think it’s got real potential, Mum – like those places on the home programmes. Let’s go and look at the kitchen.’

Rory put an arm around her daughter’s shoulders as they walked. It still came as a surprise to her that they were almost the same height. With Belle’s long, dark ponytail and fresh face it was easy to pretend that she was still a little girl. Thank goodness Rory had been spared the rumoured teenage angst and screaming matches. Belle was sixteen now. They were home and dry.

The kitchen was a bit of a shock, even to Rory, who’d seen it before. It was large – with plenty of room for the island Rory coveted – but the cupboard doors were more grime than pine, and two doors were missing completely. There was a whiff of something greasy and the floor was sticky. Rory didn’t want to know why.

She took her arm from around Belle’s shoulders and thrust her fingers into her own short, dark hair, massaging her scalp. She had to be sensible. It wasn’t only her and her bloody-minded will of iron who would be living in this mess. Belle had always been more dolls and dresses than hammers and hard hats. Rory closed her eyes. Think with your head. Your heart can’t be trusted. Life is not a fairy tale.

Rory heard the squelch of Sheila’s shoes enter the room. She opened one eye and looked at her mother. Sheila looked at Belle. Belle looked at Rory.

Then they all started to laugh.

‘Well, if this room doesn’t put you off, nothing will. I give in.’ Sheila wiped her eyes. ‘I know better than to try and change your mind.’

Rory kissed her mother’s cheek. ‘I can still retract my offer if I do have second thoughts. Let’s go back into the sitting room; this smell is making me queasy.’

Belle went first and sat on the deep windowsill in the big bay window. ‘We could put a window seat in here, Mum. Then we could read our books and eat apples like Jo in Little Women.’

Her daughter knew exactly how to play her.

Rory joined her at the window. ‘Do you think you could cope with all the chaos whilst we are doing it up, though? We’re going to have to do most of the work ourselves, including all the boring prep work. Stripping wallpaper, ripping up the carpets, cleaning everywhere. It’ll take a while.’

Sheila turned an incredulous gaze on Rory. ‘Surely you wouldn’t move in while it is like this?’ She swept an arm around the room: the flaking plaster, the tatty carpet and the door which hadn’t seen a paintbrush since ‘Shaky Steve’ was in the charts.

‘We’d have to, Mum. We can’t afford to rent somewhere else and pay the mortgage on this place. It’ll be okay.’ Rory had no idea yet whether it would be anywhere near okay. But there was a roof, walls, a floor. How bad could it be?

‘There must be somewhere you can stay? I have a spare room in my new flat at Seymour House, but I’m not sure there’s room for both of you.’

Belle twisted her ponytail through her fingers. ‘Dad did say we could stay with him a bit longer.’

Sheila nodded and readjusted her jacket. ‘As much as Scott is not my favourite person right now, that might be a good option. You can stay where you are until this place is habitable.’

‘Absolutely not.’ Rory was not going to be swayed on this. ‘Scott and Megan are about to have a new baby; there’s no way we can stay there. It’s bad enough at the moment, with him moving his stuff back in and all the baby things too.’ Watching the two of them ooh and aah over their baby bath had given her murderous ideas. Scott had not been so interested when Rory had been scraping together the necessary supplies for Belle sixteen years ago. The New Man performance was nauseating.

‘I can’t believe he is just chucking you out like that, after all these years.’ Sheila, almost forgetting where she was, leaned against the wall and then quickly righted herself. She crossed her arms. ‘Particularly Belle. His own daughter.’

‘He didn’t chuck us out, Granny. Did he, Mum?’ Belle was always quick to defend her dad. To be fair, when they’d broken up – nearly fifteen years ago – he’d let Rory and Belle carry on living in his house and he’d been the one to move out. Scott had been a crap husband, but he wasn’t a bad dad.

‘No, he didn’t. They can’t live in that poky little flat with a baby, Mum. The house was always his. He has every right to want to live in it and, as Belle says, he told us we could stay as long as we wanted. I just don’t want to.’ She rubbed Belle’s back. ‘But you can, Belle. He’s your dad.’

Belle shook her head then put it on Rory’s shoulder. ‘No Mum, I want to be with you.’

Sheila sighed and patted her hair. ‘You are as stubborn as your mother, Christabel. You’ve both got Frank’s blood in your veins.’

This from the woman who had moaned that her house was far too large for one person but had taken twelve months of persuading to even look at a retirement apartment.

‘Of course. Dad was the stubborn one, wasn’t he, Mum?’

Sheila poked a damp spot on the wall with her finger then pulled her hand back as if it had bitten her. ‘I just wish I hadn’t sold the house already; you could have stayed there. There was plenty of room. We could have all lived there together.’

Live together? Rory loved her mother dearly, but Sheila was all coasters and regular mealtimes whereas Rory was more toast-on-the-run.

‘It was too far from work and Belle’s college anyway. Thanks for the offer, but we need to have our own home at long last.’ Rory looked around and held out her arms. ‘I’m beginning to get a feel for this place.’ She smiled at Belle. ‘I think we can do this, you know.’

‘Of course we can. We can do anything we set our minds to. What is it you say, Granny? Nothing a bit of elbow grease won’t fix.’ Belle kissed Sheila on the cheek.

‘Well, now you’re using my own words against me I don’t have a chance, do I? Next you’ll be putting on one of your Disney CDs and encouraging the local wildlife to come in and help you make it spick and span.’ Sheila turned to Rory. ‘I don’t suppose there’s any point in me trying to persuade you out of this? Your dad was a builder. I know how much work is going to be involved in something like this.’

Rory shook her head. ‘No, Mum. There’s no point. I want a house rather than a flat, and we can’t afford one that’s already done up round here on my wages. This is our only option.’

‘In that case, let me give you some…’ Sheila trailed off at the look on Rory’s face.

Rory squeezed her hand. ‘Mum, I’m grateful. But I don’t need your money. You should enjoy the profit from the house. Spend it on gin and Italian waiters.’

Sheila made a harrumphing sound. ‘I might just do that and bring one home for you, my girl.’

Rory shook her head. ‘I won’t have time for amore; I’ll be too busy painting walls and laying carpet.’

Sheila was back on her favourite subject. ‘You will need to make time for it sometime, Aurora. You’re not getting any younger, you know.’

Rory rolled her eyes. ‘I know. I know. But if we’re back to Aurora, it must be time to go.’

As she shuffled the two of them out of the front door, Rory looked back up the hallway and through the door to the sitting room. This place wasn’t so much in need of a facelift as full reconstructive surgery. She knew how it felt. There was an awful lot of work to be done and, apart from following her dad around when she was young, she didn’t actually have any DIY experience. Would she be taking on more than she could manage?

Sheila stood on the front step and it crumbled beneath her feet. ‘Are you really sure about this, Aurora?’

There was a huge oval mirror hanging near the front door. Rory blew the dust from its centre and looked through the scattering motes at her reflection. With a bit of polish, it could be made to look beautiful again.

She’d make a start with that.

There might have been a long list of lesson planning and photocopying waiting for Rory in her classroom, but at least the place was clean, tidy and the roof wasn’t in danger of falling in. ‘We’ll have you in in no time!’ the estate agent had promised when Rory’s offer had been accepted back in June. After a lot of gratuitous and expensive toing and froing between solicitors, they had eventually got the keys two weeks ago. She and Belle had almost killed themselves to make a few rooms habitable, and now it was September and she was back at work.

Ten minutes until morning briefing. Just enough time to make a quick coffee: nectar of the teaching profession. Rory took just a splash of milk from each of the two cartons which looked fullest. Raiding the fridge at work was like sneaking into your parents’ drinks cabinet as a teenager: you had to make it look as if nothing had been touched.

‘Morning, comrade!’ Susie strode into the kitchen area of the staffroom. Blonde curls, big boobs and a beaming grin made her the exact opposite of the computer geek stereotype; no wonder so many boys opted to take Information Technology. ‘Milk snaffling again?’

Rory held up her hands. ‘My need is great this morning. How was your weekend?’

Susie slumped back against the counter with a dramatic groan. ‘Don’t ask. I had a date from hell. I’ll tell you later when I can bear to talk about it. You seriously must start coming out with me; I need help to stop attracting all these weirdos.’

‘I’ll let you know when I’m free to perform weirdo-repelling duties. I’ve mastered the art. Have you seen the new deputy headteacher yet?’

Susie stood up straight and leaned in, lowering her voice. ‘He’s definitely no weirdo from what I’ve seen. I saw him go into the head’s office this morning, all sharp suit and expensive aftershave. Looks about thirty-five, no wedding ring. He’s going to cause a bit of a flutter, I think.’

Rory wasn’t about to get excited. If you were male, below forty-five and had a pulse, Susie would give you a chance. Rory was a little choosier. Too choosy, her mother would say. ‘As long as he doesn’t flutter near me. I could do without it, quite frankly.’

Susie raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow. ‘Apart from me, you’re the one person I know who is most in need of a flutter or two. How’s the house going?’

‘It’s not. Apparently, the whole place has to be rewired so that Belle and I don’t electrocute ourselves by turning on a light switch. I’m beginning to think that buying an old wreck wasn’t such a great idea.’

‘Really? You think?’ Susie had told Rory she was crazy to buy the house, although her main objection had been that it would give Rory less money to go out with her. ‘Come on. Let’s find somewhere to park; the delegation has arrived.’

First day back, everyone had turned up for briefing and the staffroom was packed. Rory and Susie looked for a spare seat amongst the threadbare collection around the coffee table, which was strewn with newspapers, magazines and old textbooks. There was also the odd confiscated item which hadn’t made it down to the school office. They’d just managed to squeeze on a seat together – one cheek each – when everyone hushed for the first morning briefing of the new term.

The head gave his usual ‘welcome back’ speech and updated the staff on such scintillating information as the new floor in the Sports Hall. Derek Brown – or DB, as he was known to the staff and pupils – was a kind man, but he was no public orator. Then he turned to indicate the man standing on his right. ‘And I'd like to introduce our new deputy head, Nathan Finch. Nathan has a wealth of experience in using data for pupil progress, so we are hoping that he will help us to be ready, should we get our visitors in the next few months.’ He made pretend speech marks in the air with his fingers; using the words ‘OFSTED’ or ‘inspector’ in school was akin to saying ‘Macbeth’ in a theatre. ‘Would you like to say anything, Nathan?’

It wasn't what Nathan Finch said that irritated Rory – that was just the usual waffle about looking forward to being part of the team, and that his door was always open. No, it was the way he said it. Touching his cufflinks like James Bond, making eye contact with each and every person in the room, smiling just enough, but not too much. It didn't help that DB was beside him, beaming like he'd just signed Ronaldo to the school football team. Rory could smell change and she didn't like it.

It got worse when he rolled out his agenda for the day. Training? On the first day back? First day of term was for sorting out class lists and books and trying to remember which kids you could trust to sit at the back and which ones you needed right under your nose. As soon as the meeting was over, Rory grabbed her things and made a run for her classroom before DB could catch her and introduce her to Mr Finch. Susie hung behind, clearly hoping for the opposite. She was insatiable.

Pushing open the door to her classroom with her elbow, whilst trying to balance her mug and the pile of papers she had excavated from her pigeon hole, Rory didn't notice Charlie Lewis until she was inside. It was surprising how small a fourteen-year-old boy could make himself, sitting in the back corner so that he couldn't be seen from the corridor. When he saw Rory, he jumped up.

‘Miss, Miss. I know I'm not supposed to be in the building yet, but I couldn't find my tie this morning and Brownie is going to kill me if he sees me without it again. Do you have one I could borrow?’ He took a breath and held his hands together in prayer. ‘Please?’

Rory dropped her papers onto her desk. ‘It’s Mr Brown to you. However, I'm sure I can find you a tie in my infinite drawer of resources. I wouldn't want your death on my conscience at 8.30 in the morning.’ She rummaged around and pulled one out. ‘How’s your mum?’

‘Thanks, Miss! You’re a life saver!’ Charlie struggled to loop the tie around a clean but crumpled shirt. He seemed to have grown upwards in the holidays without filling out and looked like a string bean with spiky blonde hair. ‘Mum’s having a flare. She can’t go to work and she’s really tired all the time. She was sleeping when I left and I didn't want to wake her up to ask about the tie.’

Rory perched on her desk and resisted the urge to help him with the knot. ‘I understand. It must be pretty tough for you both at the moment. You know that my offer of help is open if you need anything, don't you? Are you both eating? Is your mum able to cook at the moment?’

‘Bits and pieces. Mum can’t have much because her Crohn’s is so bad. I made dinner for myself last night. Egg and beans on toast.’ He practically puffed up his chest.

‘Sounds delicious. The Food Tech department would be proud. Now go and run around the playground, or whatever it is you boys do before school starts. I'll catch up with you in our lesson. We're starting with creative writing and I’m looking forward to seeing what my favourite writer is going to produce.’ When she had asked for Charlie’s class on her timetable again this year, there’d been no argument from the head of the English department. Especially now they were starting their final exam texts: with them being the lowest-scoring class in the year group, they would need English lessons five times a week, meaning Rory would see them more than almost any other class she taught. They were an acquired taste, though.

Charlie grinned and made for the door. ‘Okay. I’ll see you later. Thanks again for the tie, Miss.’ 

Rory sat down at her desk and turned on the computer. Something about Charlie made her want to scoop him up and take him home. What would happen if his mum was admitted to hospital again? Or worse. A fourteen-year-old boy needed his mum. Even a thirty-eight-year-old woman needed her mum. Not that she’d ever admit it to Sheila.

On the screen was the usual deluge of emails about PE kits lost from last year and updates on Fire Procedures and Child Protection. Halfway down the list was one from Belle: a picture of Colin Firth with the message: To cheer you up! Rory smiled. Her daughter knew her well, but it might take more than a picture of Mark Darcy in a tuxedo to stop the sinking feeling that she’d bitten off more than she could chew this time. 

During staff training sessions, the teachers were worse than the kids.

Susie flopped down next to Rory. Penny, the final member of their trio, passed her a cup of coffee; she could always be relied upon to look after them both. Tall and gangly, with dark straight hair, the gentle Religious Education teacher had been adopted by Rory and Susie after she’d discovered her fiancé of three years carrying on with the dog groomer. He’d got custody of the Lhasa Apso. ‘What is this session about?’

‘Marking, ironically.’ Rory sipped the drink Penny had made for her. ‘Although how I’m supposed to make inroads into the Everest of summer homework assignments currently on my desk when I’m sitting here listening to someone talk about it, is anyone’s guess.’ The electrician had been coming tonight with a quote on the rewire. If the house blew up, she was blaming Nathan Finch.

Susie wriggled in her seat. ‘These chairs are so uncomfortable; I’m spilling out the sides. I wish the caretaker would put them a little further apart. Don’t get me wrong, I like you. But I don’t want to rub my hip against yours.’

‘Aren’t we supposed to be starting now?’ Penny’s question was answered when Nathan Finch sauntered up to the front of the hall. The room went quiet almost immediately.

‘Good afternoon, colleagues.’ He paused and smiled at them all. ‘We’ve updated the school marking policy and wanted to share with you some good practise we have seen in other schools, which we are planning on implementing here.’ Without turning around, he clicked the remote in his hand and his PowerPoint presentation came alive behind him.

‘How did he do that?’ breathed Penny, as if he’d just sawn a woman in half. She was only a few years older than Rory and Susie, but she’d started teaching in the age of overhead projectors.

‘I use PowerPoint, too,’ Rory shrugged.

‘But he didn’t even look.’ Penny clamped her mouth shut and sat up straight as Mr Finch looked directly at her. Rory, on the other hand, slumped lower in her chair. Was this how the kids felt?

‘Firstly, we know that marking is a very time-consuming part of your job. You’ll be pleased to know that we don’t want you to mark more…’

‘Well, that’s not physically possible,’ mumbled Susie.

‘…we just want you to mark smarter.’

‘I knew there would be a catch,’ Rory whispered back.

The PowerPoint changed again. Penny looked at him like he’d performed another miracle. Rory shook her head. The slide read: Use of traffic light colours in effective feedback. Rory groaned inside and let her head fall back onto the seat. This was going to be a long hour.

Susie sent her a note scribbled onto the back of an agenda: Back to yours after for wine?

It would have to be wine. After rescheduling the electrician, Rory wouldn’t dare to boil a kettle.

When you buy something new, particularly something that costs thousands and thousands of pounds, you feel the need to justify the money you’ve spent. Therefore, it was possible that Rory had romanticised the house somewhat when she’d described it to Susie and Penny. Judging by the look on Susie’s face when they walked in through the door, she had completely misrepresented it.

Penny was kinder. ‘It’s a. . .