For the Love of Us; Fighting to Keep Our Love Alive
Kaylee Rose
Chapter 1
What happens when the kids leave for college and you remember you are a woman again—not just a mom?
The excitement of watching my sons start a new chapter in their lives with college and careers had me buzzing with excitement.
Luckily, my boys are good kids and have never stepped too far over the guidelines we set for them. They are far from perfect and pushed the limits while living under our roof. It gave them a safe place to recover and learn from their mistakes. Their discovery of both positive and negative consequences is an important lesson while growing up. It was all a part of developing those mechanisms, of how to cope and adjust to the new world they faced when leaving the safety of their childhood home.
The reality remains; I’m still their mom, but they don’t need me to be a part of their day to day life.
I miss my boys every day. Nature tells me this is the way life is meant to go. You raise them; you release them; they move forward; you wait for them to call when they need you. The piece left out of this cycle, which I never considered, hit me hard like a sucker punch to my gut. What would become of my husband and I after they left? The realization kind of snuck up on me.
As the days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months I started to find myself again. That part of me which had been buried between diapers, snotty noses, room mom, and being their unpaid Uber driver. I felt myself spring to life. But lurking in the background of change, a part of me remained hidden. Something I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but it burned deep inside.
Simply going through life with my husband, on autopilot, day to day, weighed heavily on me. Finally, it hit me.
Making love–the one thing which cemented the relationship between husband and wife became a chore. Our children’s needs had overtaken our own and the desire, passion, and lust we once felt for one another now a distant memory.
This lackluster change became more apparent after the kids moved out. The need to feel desired and wanted by my husband gnawed away at me. I knew we needed to make a change, but how do you start again when the person sleeping next to you feels like a stranger?
A coffee date with my best friend brought about an idea I hoped would make a difference. A plan designed to bring my husband to his knees with lust and desire. I’ve never been a quitter. The athlete and competitor, still lurking deep inside me, was determined to make him see the woman he had married twenty-two years before. I had a plan. Yes, it was a gamble, but one worth taking, and even though I was afraid of the unknown, I still needed to take this drastic step.
Fighting to keep our love alive was a risk, but, for us, I was prepared to do anything.
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